THE     WINKLES 


-  o/ ; 

. 


THE  WINKLES; 


OK, 


THE   MERRY   MONOMANIACS. 


§ln  Jtmerrait  future 

WITH  * 

PORTRAITS    OF    THE    NATIVES 


BY    THK    AUTHOR    OF 

"WILD   WESTERN  SCENES,"  ETC. 


v  lr\  yv    j£>  .o  n 


^•o 

*A  * 

NEW    YORK: 
D.    APPLETON    AND    COMPANY, 

846  &  348  BROADWAY. 

LONDON:   10  LITTLE  BRITAIN. 

1855. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1855,  by 

D.  APPLETON  &  COMPANY, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  Jyistrict  Court  of  the  United  States,  for  the  Southern 
District  of  New  York. 


DEDICATION. 


IS  RESPECTFULLY  INSCRIBED  TO  THE 

WIDOW    CUSTIS, 

OP 
NEWBERN,     NORTH     CAROLINA, 

BY   HER 
FRIEND    AND    ADMIRER, 

THE  AUTHOR. 


BDKLINOTUN.  N.  •'., 
May.  1855. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

PAOB 

Shadows  of  Coming  Events .  1 


CHAPTER  II. 
The  Game  Begun— The  Cat  out  of  the  Bag, .10 

CHAPTER  III. 
On  a  Lark— Walter— The  Student— The  Poet, 23 

CHAPTER  IV. 

Nine  at  Supper— Star-gazing — Nocturnal  Mistakes — Shooting-Stars, 89 


CHAPTER  V. 

Secret  Plotting* — The  Frog-hunter — Mushrooms  and  Patty  Pans, 50 

CHAPTER  VI. 
The  Winkle  Chateau— The  Game  Resumed, 55 

CHAPTER  VII. 

The  Game  Interrupted  by  the  News  of  a  Sudden  Invasion, 6C 


Vlll  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER    VIII. 

PAO« 

Matrimonial  Sallies— Wai  and  Women, 72 

CHAPTER  IX. 
Wilsome  returns  to  Town,  and  gives  the  Poet  a  Check— Mrs.  Snobson 84 

CHAPTER  X. 
A  Grand  Party  at  Mr.  Winkle's  Chateau, 91 

CHAPTER  XI. 

The  Bridal  Night  Continued,  and  what  took  place  on  the  Top  of  tho  House,     .    .    102 

CHAPTER  XII. 
A  Moonlight  Adventure,  and  some  of  the  Consequences, 118 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

Lucy  determines  to  Fly,  and  will  not  tell  her  Lover  whither, 184 

CHAPTER  XIV. 
The  Bride  taking  Possession — Miss  Wilsome  Winkle  resolves  to  Marry,    ....    142 

CHAPTER  XV. 

Walter's  Curious  Quarrel  with  Virginia— A  Stroll  with  the  Poet— The  Jew— Love 

and  Laughter— The  Dentist, ' • 1 61 

CHAPTER  XVI. 

Flight  of  Lucy  from  her  Lovers— John  Dowly's  Visit  to  the  Widow— Blore's 

Letter, 180 

CHAPTER  XVIL 

Wilsomo  Winkle  dismisses  the  Poet — Roland  meets  Lowe  and  the  Actor,  but  not 

Lucy, 194 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 
The  Arums  and  Crudles  go  to  Church  in  their  Fine  Dresses,  and  are  eclipsed  by 

Patty  O'Pan, 202 


CONTENTS.  IX 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

Preaching  of  the  Poet—  Snobson's  rapture  with  his  Sweetheart, 


CHAPTER  XX. 
A  Reform  Meeting,  and  Walter's  Speech— Blore's  Escape  from  his  Wife,  ....    213 

CHAPTER  XXI. 

Lowe,  Walter  and  Pollen  pay  a  Visit  to  Griselda— The  Battle  of  Waterloo  Fought 

over  again  by  Napoleon  Winkle, 223 

CHAPTER  XXII. 
Sensible  Calculations  of  the  Girls— A  Dead  Rat,      .    .    , 239 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 

Walter  takes  leave  of  his  Aunt— The  Widow  Winkle's  House  Sold  over  her  Head,    253 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 

Miss  Flora  Blount's  Mansion  in  New  York — Lucy  Unmaska  the  Scotch  Edith — 
The  Milnors~The  Bluo  Carriage, 263 

CHAPTER  XXV. 

The  Blue  Carriage — Letters  from  Babbleton  and  Philadelphia — Mrs.  Laurel's  Visit,   281 

CHAPTER  XXVI. 

Miss  Flora  Blount  and  Lucy  go  the  Opera,  and  return  in  the  Blue  Carriage— Dr. 

McGab  Proposes, 292 

CHAPTER  XXVII. 
The  Lord  and  Lady  at  the  Grand  Party— A  Challenge— The  Blue  Carriage— The 

Duel, 304 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 
Romantic  Reconciliation  of  the  Lovers, 322 

CHAPTER  XXIX. 
Walter  goes  to  Washington— Office-hunting— Tipping 331 

CHAPTER  XXX. 

Walter  becomes  acquainted  with  Honoria— Xavicr,  the  Jesuit  Chief— Walter  re 
ceives  Letters  from  Virginia,     .    .  .844 


X  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  XXXI. 

ram 
Walter's  Wonderful  Adventures  in  Washington— The  Political  Pandemonium,     .    851 

CHAPTER  XXXII. 

Walter's  Diplomacy  in  Prison, 867 

CHAPTER  XXXIII. 

Walter  receives  intelligence  from  Home— The  Prison  Diplomacy  quite  prosperous,    886 

CHAPTER  XXXIV. 
Walter  returns  with  Virginia  and  his  Aunt  to  Philadelphia, 893 

CHAPTER  XXXV. 

Walter  returns  Home— Meets  with  John  Dowly— Lucy  and  her  Brother  hasten  to 

their  Uncle— What  transpires, .400 

CHAPTER  XXXVI. 

Expulsion  of  the  'Jesuits, .409 

CHAPTER  XXXVII. 
Snobson's  Marriage— Roland's  Failure, .413 

CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 
End  of  the  History, oo 


(Kjramters  of 


EDITU  WINKLE — The  Merry  Widow. 

WALTER— Her  rattling  Son— a  "  Know-Nothrng." 

LUCY — Her  Daughter — in  love  with  Mr.  Lowe. 

Miss  WILSOME  WINKLE— An  Old  Maid— Sister-in-law  of  tho. Widow,  and  a  Monoma 
niac  on  Whist 

NAPOLEON  WINKLE— Brother  of  Wilsome,  and  a  Monomaniac  on  the  subject  of  the 
Great  Napoleon's  Battles. 

HALPII  EOLAND — Instrument  of  the  Jesuits. 

COL.  OAKDALE— Monomaniac  on  the  subject  of  Sporting. 

VIRGINIA — His  Daughter — in  love  with  Walter. 

JOHN  DOWLY — an  Old  Bachelor — Monomaniac  on  his  First  Love. 

EDWARD  LOWE — Earl  of  Hilton — Incognito. 

BELL  AND  BLANCHE  AEUM— Rich  Daughters  of  a  retired  Patent  Pill  Maker. 

SUSAN  AND  SALLY  CRUDLK— Daughters  of  u  rich  Brewer. 

DR.  NITRE. 

MRS.  N.— Virginias  Aunt. 

Miss  GRISELDA  GUSSET— A  retired  Milliner,  afterwards  Mrs.  N.  Winkle, 

MRS.  ACRID— N.  W.'s  Housekeeper. 

HAROLD  POLLEN — A  Poet. 

UEV.  MR.  AMBLE. 

TOM  SNOBSON — Son  of  a  Banker — Monomaniac  on  Beauty. 

MR.  FIBBER — Shopkeeper. 

DICK  BLATTER— His  Clerk. 

SERGEANT  BLORE—  Napoleon's  Chief  Subordinate. 

OLD  DIBBLE — Widow's  Gardener. 

DAVY— His  Son. 

BIDDY  BAGGLE— Widow's  Maid. 

BILL  DizzLE-Tho  Frog-catcher. 


xii  CHARACTERS    OF    THE   STORY 

ABRAHAM  LABAN — Jew. 

DAVID  DEAL— Quaker  Speculator 

ME.  McCKABBED— Scotchman. 

EDITH— His  Sister. 

MR.  BAWSON— Scotch  Lawyer. 

DEW— A  King  Charles  Spaniel. 

GEORGE  PARKS— Southern  Student 

PROFESSOR  POINT. 

His  DAUGHTERS. 

MR.  GLASS— An  Actor. 

DELIA— His  Daughter. 

MRS.  EDWARDS— Lowe's  Housekeeper. 

PATTY  O1  PAN— His  Cook. 

DR.  PBANGLE— Of  Babbleton. 

MR.  PLASTIC— Politician. 

FLORA  BLOUNT— The  Widow's  Sister,  living  in  New  York— a  Monomaniac  on  Novel 

Eeading. 
MILNOR  &  Co.— New  Yorkers. 

DK.  McGAB— Scotch  Physician. 

MRS.  LAUREL — Monomaniac  on  Aristocracy. 

COL.  BALL— Monomaniac  on  Duels. 

COUNTESS  HILTON— Lowe's  Mother. 

Mus.  HONORIA  FIMBLE— Instrument  of  the  Jesuits. 

PATRICK  McCLusKEY— Bar  -keeping  office-seeker. 

MR.  BELL— Office-holder. 

MR.  BOOZLE— Private  Secretary  to  Secretary  of  State. 

FATHER  XAVIER— Jesuit  Chief. 

PRESIDENT  U.  S.— SECRETARIES— SENATORS,  &c.,  &c.,  &c. 


THE    WINKLES. 

^ 

CHAPTER   I. 

SHADOWS    OF    COMING   EVENTS. 

BABBLE-TON  was  an  ancient  village  near  the  city  of  Philadel 
phia.  It  had  a  wharf  where  the  steamboats  landed,  and  a 
depot  where  the  locomotives  whistled.  Hence,  although  the 
principal  mansions  were  situated  on  commodious  lots,  and  in 
many  instances  separated  from  each  other  by  broad  yards  and 
close  fences,  it  is  not  to  be  inferred  there  was  ever  a  monoto 
nous  deficiency  of  noise  and  excitement  in  the  place.  It  had 
its  proud  and  its  miserable,  its  vanities  and  its  humiliations, 
its  bank  and  its  bakers,  its  millionaires  and  its  milliners ;  and 
was  not  unfrequently  the  scene  of  some  of  those  entertaining 
comedies  of  life,  which  have  been  considered  in  all  enlightened 
countries  worthy  of  preservation  in  veracious  and  impartial 
history.  Such  a  record  we  have  attempted  to  produce  ;  and 
although  the  direct  manner  of  narration  adopted  may  offend 
the  taste  of  the  fastidious  critic,  yet  the  less  acutely  discern 
ing  reader  may  possibly  deem  himself  compensated  for  the 
labor  of  perusal,  by  the  reliable  assurance  of  the  authenticity 
of  the  story,  and  the  interest  attending  the  occurrences  flitting 
before  his  mental  vision. 
1 


2  THE    WINKLES. 

At  a  convenient  distance  from  the  trafficking  centre  of  the 
town,  was  an  old,  square,  two-story  brick  dwelling,  embowered 
with  overhanging  trees.  In  the  rear  and  on  the  south  were 
a  few  acres  belonging  to  the  premises,  which  had  been  originally 
planned  for  a  magnificent  lawn,  but  were  subsequently,  for  cer 
tain  reasons,  devoted  to  more  useful  purposes.  The  grounds, 
at  the  most  distant  extremity  from  the  house,  were  bounded  by 
a  sparkling  brook,  whose  source  was  in  a  range  of  hills 
a  few  miles  distant.  This  stream  had  always  been,  and  is  yet, 
as  every  one  knows,  famous  for  its  abundance  of  small  trout. 

It  was  in  the  glimmer  of  twilight,  and  the  lamp  suspended 
in  the  hall  of  the  old  mansion  had  been  lit  by  Biddy,  the 
widow  Winkle's  housemaid.  The  rays  illuminated  the  ancient 
wainscoting,  where  some  forgotten  son  of  genius  had  once 
exercised  his  powers  of  creation  in  the  production  of  a  number 
of  animated  pictures,  which  the  commendable  taste  of  the 
Winkles  had  preserved  from  the  modern  invasion  of  paste  and 
gaudy  paper.  On  one  side  might  be  seen  a  party  of  the  early 
settlers  falling  into  an  ambush  of  the  savages ;  a  sketch  of  one 
of  Cromwell's  battles  with  the  royalists ;  and  then  the  execu 
tion  of  the  conscientious  Episcopalian,  the  unfortunate  Charles. 
On  the  opposite  side  were  landscapes — chasing  and  angling ; 
and  over  them,  with  their  frames  reaching  to  the  ceiling,  were 
half  a  score  of  portraits  of  the  Winkle  family. 

A  monastic  silence  reigned  in  the  hall.  A  king  Charles 
spaniel  lay  upon  the  floor,  with  his  head  between  his  feet,  as  if 
patiently  awaiting  the  arrival  of  his  master.  The  crickets  came 
out,  but  did  not  sing.  A  mouse  ran  noiselessly  under  the  green 
settee  without  attracting  the  notice  of  Dew,  whose  eyes  only 
wandered  from  the  broad,  bright  rods  on  the  stairway  to  the 
huge  lock  of  the  front  door,  without  observing  that  the  arms 
of  the  red  warriors  were  in  motion ;  that  Cromwell's  unhelmeted 
brow  was  assuming  a  darker  frown ;  that  the  lips  of  the  royal 
victim  on  the  scaffold  were  moving  in  prayer ;  that  the  pant 
ing  buck  was  actually  shaking  his  antlers  in  defiance,  and  that 
the  floundering  trout  on  the  greensward  really  seemed  to  be 
opening  and  closing  his  gills — which  might  have  been  easily 
perceived  by  any  gazer  sufficiently  imaginative. 

But  although  the  illuminated  hall  was  so  still  and  silent, 
one  apartment,  among  the  many  the  old  mansion  contained, 
exhibited  no  deficiency  of  animation  or  mirthfulness.  This 
was  the  sitting-room  of  the  family.  It  had  large  bookcases 


MISS   GUSSET.  3 

well  stored  with  volumes,  in  three  of  its  corners,  and  in  the 
fourth,  in  the  good  old  style,  was  a  fireplace  filled  with  fresh 
boughs  from  the  umbrageous  trees  in  the  yard. 

Mrs.  Winkle,  a  portly  widow  of  some  five  and  fifty  years, 
sat  in  her  great  high-backed  chair  beside  a  dark  mahogany 
centre-table.  On  the  opposite  side  was  seated  one  of  the 
tolerated  gossips  of  the  town,  a  retired  milliner,  a  pale,  small 
woman,  something  beyond  thirty  years  of  age,  with  thin  lips 
and  a  Roman  nose,  but  with  an  humble  expression  of  eye,  and 
a  soft  insinuating  voice — particularly  when  in  the  presence  of 
any  of  her  old  patrons.  Mrs.  Winkle  had  in  former  years 
contributed  liberally  to  the  worldly  acquisitions  of  Miss  Gus 
set  ;  and  the  latter,  for  certain  reasons,  which  will  appear,  was 
not  in  readiness  to  repay  the  obligations  she  owed  with  the 
ingratitude  so  generally  returned  for  benefits  conferred. 

"  Sit  still,  Gusset,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  smiling,  and  clip 
ping  off  the  curl  of  the  wick  of  the  spermaceti  candle. 

"  Thank  you,  Mrs.  Winkle,"  said  Gusset,  recomposing  her 
self  on  the  chair,  from  which  she  had  been  about  to  rise.  "  It 
will  afford  me  pleasure  to  stay,  if  my  company  is  agreeable, 
until  they  come.  It  is  fyuite  time  they  were  here," — she  con 
tinued,  drawing  forth  a  huge  gold  watch,  pending  from  which 
were  several  seals,  and  a  most  ponderous  pencil  case, — "a 
whole  quarter  past  the  usual  time,  I  declare  !  I  hope  no 
serious  accident  has  happened.  If  so,  I  know  they'll  regret 
not  coming  in  the  early  boat ;  and  I'm  sure  I  haven't  the  least 
conception  why  they  staid  for  the  late  one,  unless  they  didn't 
wish  to  be  seen  in  my  company.  But  they  needn't  have 
alarmed  themselves — I  had  a  book " 

"  Bravo,  Gusset !  I  thought  something  had  occurred  to 
wound  your  sensitive  little  heart.  You  have  hardly  spoken 
ten  words  during  the  last  hour,  and  I  doubt  whether  you  have 
been  listening  to  my  diverting  histories  of  the  parvenue  aristo 
crats  of  Babbleton.  You  have  not  laughed  as  usual.  Pooh, 
Gusset !  You  know  there  is  nothing  in  this  world  I  hate  so 
much  as  a  grave  displeased  visage,  llelax  your  blond  features 
and  tell  me  the  whole  story." 

"  It's  a  very  short  one,  Mrs.  Winkle,  and  I  don't  think  it 
will  give  you  pleasure  to  hear  it.  I  never  like  to  allude  to 
any  thing  unpleasant  before  you ;  you  who  were  born  with  a 
smile,  as  the  Honorable  Mr.  Winkle  used  to  say,  and  will  die 
with  one  on  your  lips " 


4  THE    WINKLES. 

"  I  hope  so,  Gusset,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  still  smiling,  although 
tearlets  sparkled  in  the  corners  of  her  eyes.  "  It  is  better  to 
laugh  than  to  cry ;  and  I  believe  it  is  quite  as  acceptable  to 
our  Maker.  I  will  really  strive  to  be  cheerful  to  the  last. 
They  say  I  have  been  as  mirthful  since  the  loss  of  our  fortune 
as  before.  I'm  glad  of  it.  Ha  !  ha  !  ha !  The  idea  of  laugh 
ing  on  one's  death-bed !  Well !  Suppose  one  is  at  peace  with 
Heaven,  and  has  no  burden  on  the  conscience  ?  A  smiling 
corpse !  Really  I  think  it  would  be  better  thus  to  strengthen 
the  hopes  of  the  beholders  of  such  spectacles,  than  to  chill 
them  with  horror.  Give  me  wax  candles  and  beautiful  bou 
quets.  But  go  on,  Gusset — tell  me  what  happened  in  the  city 
to-day." 

"  We  had  a  most  delightful  time  going  down.  The  day 
was  beautiful  and  the  company  pleasant.  Lucy  was  as  gay  as 
an  oriole " 

"  My  daughter,  you  know,  is  what  is  termed  a  { chip  of  the 
old  block."' 

"La,  Mrs.  Winkle,  you  are  not  old !  You  could  pass  for 
thirty.  And  Mr.  Winkle ' ' 

"  Call  my  son  Walter,  or  you  will  certainly  make  me  feel 
old.  A  boy  recently  out  of  college  called  Mr.  !  " 

"  Walter  was  charming " 

"  Who  was  he  charming  ?  " 

"  Miss  Virginia  Oakland,  as  sure  as  my  name  is  Griselda 
Gusset ! " 

"  Nonsense — mere  child's  play  !  Go  on." 

"  Mr.  Ralph  Roland  is  thirty-five,  I'm  sure — so  hJs  no 
child.  Well,  he  played  against  Walter,  and  Walter  won." 

"  Pooh  !  Some  people  think  Roland  is  playing  for  Lucy. 
If  I  thought  so,  I'd  soon  put  a  stop  to  the  game  !  " 

"  Why,  after  Mr.  Plastic,  and  the  emperor — I  mean  your 
brother-in-law,  Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle — he  is  thought  to  be  the 
richest  man  in  the  country." 

"  No  matter,  Lucy's  heart  is  above  all  price.  Never  marry 
for  money,  Gusset." 

"Not  I !  My  income,  from  what  I  have  been  able  to  lay 
up  with  your  aid,  and  the  patronage  of  others,  is  enough  to 
keep  me  comfortable,  and  independent,  too  !  When  we  got  to 
the  city,  Mr.  Roland  walked  with  us  until  we  met  your  sister- 
in-law — the  princess,  /  call  her — Miss  Wilsome  Winkle— and 
you  know  she's  sixty." 


MISS  WILSOME'S  PORTRAIT.  5 

"  No  such  thing,  Gusset — no  such  thing." 

"  La !  didn't  I  hear  you  say  so  yourself  the  other  day, 
when  the  emperor — I  mean  Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle — her 
brother,  said  it  would  be  impolite  to  marry  before  his  sister, 
who  was  two  years  older  than  himself?  " 

"  I  said  she  would  be  sixty  in  six  weeks,  and  it  has  been 
only  three  since  then,"  replied  the  widow,  laughing  very  hear 
tily.  "  And  you  met  Miss  Wilsome  while  Roland  was  with 
you?  I  wonder  she  spoke  at  all." 

"  If  you  could  have  heard  her  speak  !  You  know  what  a 
raven-like  voice  she  has — but  I'm  sure  she  can't  help  it — and 
with  that,  such  as  it  was,  she  said,  taking  Lucy  by  the  arm, 
*  Come  away,  child,  from  that  horrible  brute  ! '  And  she  ac 
tually  forced  Lucy  to  go  with  her  !  " 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  Just  like  Wilsome.  You  imitate  her  per 
fectly.  What  did  Roland  say  ?  " 

"  Not  a  word.  But  he  ran  into  the  middle  of  the  street 
and  jumped  into  an  omnibus." 

"  Where  was  Walter  ?  " 

"With  Virginia,  behind,  laughing  himself  half  to  death." 

"  Every  body  knows  Wilsome's  strange  ways.  No  one 
cares  what  she  says  or  does." 

"  Nor  herself  either.  I'm  sure  Mr.  Ralph  Roland  is  per 
fectly  gentlemanly  in  his  manners,  a  handsome  m*an,  and  as 
rich  as " 

"  Riches  are  nothing  in  Wilsome's  estimation." 

"  Excuse  me,  Mrs.  Winkle,  if  I  venture  to  think  differently. 
I  am  convinced  that  if  I  had  been  rich,  she  wouldn't  have 
wished  to  shake  me  off  as  she  did  !  " 

"  Why,  Gusset,  have  you  not  just  been  saying  that  Roland 
was  rich,  and  that  she  almost  thrust  him  into  the  middle  of 
the  street  ?  " 

"  It's  a  mystery.     I  can't  unravel  it." 

"  I  can.  He  grievously  offended  her  once.  How  do  you 
suppose,  now,  he  incurred  her  displeasure  ?  You  could  never 
guess.  Accompanying  some  ladies  away  from  her  mansion 
one  night,  it  being  late,  for  they  had  been  playing  whist,  he 
chanced  to  tread  upon  her  white  tom-cat's  tail.  The  animal 
scratched  his  ankle,  and  not  knowing  exactly  what  it  was,  for 
the  lady  had  screamed  and  overturned  the  wax  candles  (she 
will  not  have  gas),  he  kicked  violently,  and  killed  poor  Tom. 
She  has  never  forgiven  him,  for  she  has  not  yet  been  able  to 


6  THE   WINKLES. 

obtain  another  cat  of  the  same  color  and  disposition.  Roland 
has  had  some  twenty  white  kittens  under  the  tuition  of  his 
housekeeper,  and  does  not  despair  of  achieving  a  reconciliation. 
But  how  did  Wilsome  look  ?  how  was  she  dressed  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  help  it,  Mrs.  Winkle,  but  really  it  is  painful 
to  look  at  her.  You  know  I  am  a  simple  and  an  humble  wo 
man,  grateful  for  all  the  favors  you  and  your  family  have  be 
stowed  on  me,  and  ever  conscious  of  my  low  origin  and 
inferiority.  Of  course  I  could  never  be  so  vile  as  to  say  an 
ill-natured  or  malicious  thing  against  any  one  who  assisted  me 
in  the  time  of  my  need ;  or  against  any  of  their  friends  or 
connections.  Yet  when  such  as  you,  who  know  my  inoffensive 
disposition,  ask  my  candid  opinion  on  any  subject,  I  feel  bound 
to  give  it.  Then,  as  to  Miss  Wilsome's  form,  it  is  a  very 
good  one.  Her  shape  is,  indeed,  elegant,  and  sets  off  a  dress 
to  perfection.  And  her  feet  and  hands  are  very  fine.  But 
she  walks  more  and  more  on  her  heels  as  she  grows  older,  and 
it  can  be  perceived  that  her  knuckles  become  more  bony. 
Her  face — bless  us  ! — why  it  is  plastered  over  with  paint ; 
and  yet  such  crow's  feet  and  wrinkles  are  seen  below  her  eyes 
— her  enormous  eyes — down  her  cheeks  and  along  her  neck, 
that  every  one  who  beholds  her  is  shocked,  absolutely  stunned. 
We  feel,  alas !  that  art  cannot  conceal  the  frightful  inroads 
of  age  ;  and  it  is  a  very  melancholy  thought,  Mrs.  Winkle., 
for  we  are  all  growing  older  every  day." 

"  But  just  now,  Gusset,  you  were  complimenting  me " 

"  Oh,  you  don't  show  age,  because  you  are  always  merry. 
I  wish  I  could  grow  fat,  too  !  " 

"  You  must  be  merry,  first.  Yet  my  sister  Wilsome  is 
often  very  merry." 

"  I  fear  it  is  only  on  the  surface,  madam ;  a  mere  imita 
tion  of  the  young  miss,  and  it  is  horrible  to  witness  it.  But 
forgive  me,  I  would  not  give  offence  for  the  world.  And  I 
declare  when  one  sees  Miss  Wilsome's  form  without  looking 
at  her  face,  she  might  pass  for  a  reigning  belle ;  for  she  is  al 
ways  arrayed  in  the  most  beautiful  and  costly  apparel.  It  is 
fashionable  too.  Indeed  she  generally  has  an  extra  flounce 
or  so,  and  I  am  sure  I  do  not  blame  her  for  turning  her  eyes 
away  when  the  young  gentlemen  in  the  street  are  attracted  by 
her  gay  exterior,  and  have  an  idle  curiosity  to  survey  her  fea 
tures.  Several  such  impertinents  followed  us  many  squares ; 
sometimes  coming  up  even  with  her,  and  finding  her  face  al- 


SHE    PAINTS.  7 

ways  averted  when  their  eyes  were  turned  towards  it,  there 
was  nothing  left  for  them  but  to  fall  back  again,  and  admire 
her  magnificent  form.  She  did  right  no  doubt  to  mock  them 
thus.  I  do  not  blame  her  for  not  gratifying  their  idle  curi 
osity." 

"  I  am  afraid,  Gusset,  you  were  just  then  a  little  incensed. 
What  motive  can  any  woman  have  for  displaying  a  fine  form 
and  rich  attire,  and  at  the  same  time  concealing  from  the  ad 
mirers  that  may  be  attracted  the  face  of  the  proprietor  ?  Unless 
she  be  known,  how  can  she  reap  any  of  the  credit  ?  Then 
why  go  to  the  expense,  and  take  the  pains  ?  " 

"  The  pains  !  True,  Mrs.  Winkle,  for  I  heard  her  declare 
she  was  in  an  agony.  She  said  her  corns  were  throbbing  at 
every  step.  I  declare,  as  }rou  say,  I  cannot  see  the  motive. 
But  motive  or  no  motive,  I  have  known  other  ladies  to  do  the 
same  thing.  And  you  know,  as  soon  as  Miss  Wilsome  gets 
within  your  door,  she  will,  as  usual,  call  for  her  easy  slippers. 
Still,  you  must  not  suppose  she  was  harsh  to  me.  Oh  no ! 
The  moment  after  we  entered  her  fine  mansion,  and  the  door 
closed  behind  us,  she  turned  round  and  almost  smothered  me 
with  caresses.  To  think  she  should  shake  both  my  hands  for 
five  minutes,  as  if  we  had  just  met,  when  we  had  been  walking 
together  more  than  a  mile  !  Oh  !  and  she  had  every  thing 
nice — cakes  and  wine.  She  is  no  prohibitory  disciple ;  but  it 
isn't  wine  that  gives  her  such  a  color.  '  Come,  Gusset,  I  am 
really  rejoiced  to  see  you,'  croaked  she, '  take  it,  dear' — as  the 
silver  salver  paused  before  me — '  be  at  home  in  my  house,  be 
happy,'  and  so  on." 

"  Gusset,  that  was  Christian  treatment." 

"  No  doubt.  Just  as  many  Christians  act.  Sisters  at  the 
communion  table — haughty  despisers  in  the  street.  How  I 
long  to  be  rich  and  in  high  station,  just  to  give  an  example  to 
the  world " 

"  To  the  world,  Gusset  1  But  tell  me  how  Wilsome  in 
curred  your  displeasure." 

"  Forgive  me,  Mrs.  Winkle ;  I  meant  Babbleton,  and  not 
the  whole  world.  Miss  Wilsome  was  very  kind,  very,  indeed 
— too  kind  !  Never  had  I  such  sumptuous  entertainment 
before — never  before  so  splendid  a  dinner — all  ordered  I  be 
lieve  from  a  restaurant's,  and  costing  at  least  five  dollars. 
And  when  the  time  came  to  depart,  Miss  Wilsome,  for  the 
first  time,  let  me  know  she  intended  to  return  with  Lucy,  and 


8  THE   WINKLES. 

that  they  would  wait  for  the  late  boat.  But  she  would  put 
me  to  no  inconvenience  on  her  account.  Oh  no  !  she  would 
not  detain  me — she  was  sorry  to  be  separated — but  she  would 
soon  have  the  pleasure  of  my  company  again,  at  Babbleton." 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  And  so  she  will,  Gusset." 

"  And  when  I  was  endeavoring  to  get  in  a  word  to  the 
effect  that  I  was  quite  at  leisure,  and  altogether  disposed  to 
pass  the  remainder  of  the  day  in  the  city,  she  was  as  deaf  as 
a  post,  and  rattled  away  with — '  My  dear  Gusset,  I  hope  your 
interests  may  not  suffer  in  consequence  of  the  time  we  have 
detained  you  here.  But  I  am  so  fond  of  your  company,  and 
it  has  been  so  long  since  we  met,  that  I  could  not  bear  to  part 
with  you.  You  shall  not  lose  by  it,  Gusset.  I  hope  your 
apprentices  will  not  do  any  mischief  in  your  absence — and 
that  no  customers  may  be  lost  on  my  account.  Now  do  not, 
dear,  good  Gusset,  be  offended  at  me  for  having  kept  you  from 
your  business  so  long — and  when  you  get  home,  Gusset  dear, 
let  sister  Winkle  know  that  I  have  Walter  and  Lucy  in  charge, 
and  that  I  will  be  with  her  to-night,  and  shall  have  a  rubber 
at  whist.'  That's  the  way  she  ran  on  !  Just  as  if  she  didn't 
know  I  had  long  since  closed  my  shop !  and  before  I  could 
reply  to  her  she  pushed  rne  out  of  the  room  with  an  attempt 
to  kiss  my  cheek ! " 

"  Ha  !  ha  !    ha  !  " 

"  You  may  laugh,  for  it  was  fancied.  And  here  is  a  print 
of  her  rouge  on  my  ribbon,  and  you  can  see  the  wrinkles  in  it, 
as  plainly  as  you  can  see  the  dirt  on  the  frog-catcher's  face !  " 

"  Who  is  the  frog-catcher  ?  " 

"  Why  the  march-boy,  as  they  call  him,  who  lives  in  the 
ditches  on  Mr.  Napoleon  Wirlkle's  estate.  He  hunts  terra 
pins,  mushrooms,  and  such  things  for  the  emperor  and  Ser 
geant  Blore.  Have  you  never  seen  Bill  Dizzle?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  and  I  pity  him." 

"  He's  the  happiest  person  I  know.  There  they  are !  ' 
cried  Gusset,  rising,  as  Dew  was  heard  to  bark  furiously  in 
the  hall. 

"  Sit  still.  Gusset,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  "  Biddy  will  open 
the  door." 

A  few  moments  after,  Biddy  entered  softly. 

"  Who  is  it  ?  "  asked  her  mistress. 

"  Dill  Bizzle,  ma'm." 

"  Dill  Bizzle  ?  " 


BILL    DIZZLE.  9 

"  She  means  Bill  Dizzle,"  said  G-usset.  "  You  know  Biddy 
always  blunders  in  her  speech.  But  I  felt  sure  it  was  Miss 
Wilsome  and  Lucy." 

"  Biddy,  tell  him  to  come  in,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  Yes,  ma'm,"  replied  Biddy,  withdrawing  into  the  hall, 
where  the  boy  was  in  waiting.  Immediately  after  the  maid 
uttered  a  loud  cry,  and  ran  into  the  room  screaming  fright 
fully.  Having  flung  the  door  wide  open,  Bill  Dizzle  appeared 
in  view.  He  wore  an  old  cap,  its  original  color  obliterated, 
and  the  material  of  which  it  had  been  constructed,  unknown. 
His  carroty  hair  hung  in  long  locks  down  his  neck,  behind 
and  over  his  ears.  His  thin  face,  as  usual,  was  bespeckled 
with  the  mud  of  the  marshes.  His  forehead  was  low,  his 
eyes  small,  gray  and  twinkling  ;  his  nose  short  and  broad ;  his 
mouth  wide,  and  his  lips  sufficiently  parted  to  exhibit  a  most 
formidable  array  of  teeth.  He  wore  a  yellow  homespun  sack, 
girdled  round  with  a  black  leather  belt.  His  pantaloons  and 
boots  were,  of  course,  of  the  color  of  the  last  ditch  he  had 
plunged  into. 

"  What  have  you  there  ? "  demanded  Mrs.  Winkle,  smil 
ing  encouragingly,  and  gazing  at  a  rod  in  the  boy's  hand,  upon 
which  was  strung  a  row  of  what  might  have  been  taken  for 
the  hind  quarters  of  squirrels,  nicely  prepared  for  the  kitchen. 
"  Are  they  a  present  from  my  brother,  or  Sergeant  Blore  ?  " 

The  boy  replied  by  an  affirmative  nod,  and  a  smile. 

"  Are  they  squirrels  ?  " 

The  boy  shook  his  head,  but  continued  to  smile. 

"  Oh,  la ! "  cried  Biddy,  finding  the  power  of  utterance 
again,  which  had  been  suspended,  <;  Missus  !  don't  you  see  what 
they  be  ?  Look  at  the  little  hands  !  La's  a'  mercy  on  us  !  " 

"  Little  hands  !  What  do  you  mean,  Biddy?" 

u  Yes,  hands !  Look  at  'em.  Baby's  poor,  dear  little 
hands !  He's  been  murdering  little  babies  not  bigger  nor 
rats.  See  the  precious  little  things'  limbs  and  hands  ! 1} 

"  She's  a  fool !  "  said  Bill  Dizzle,  without  ceasing  to  smile, 
and  holding  up  the  rod  horizontally  before  him.  "  They  are 
sweeterer  and  tenderer  nor  chickens,  and  the  emperor  and  the 
sergeant  are  now  eating  the  other  half." 

"  The  arms  and  heads  of  the  babies !  "  cried  Biddy. 

"  No,  I  had  two  rodsful  o'  green  frogs ." 

"  Frogs  ?  so   they  are ! "  said  Mrs.   Winkle,  approaching 
the  boy.     "  Take  them  into  the  kitchen,  Biddy." 
1* 


10  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Not  for  the  wide  world,  mam !  "  cried  Biddy.  "  I 
couldn't  do  it,  if  it  was  to  save  me." 

"  Nor  would  I  eat  them,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  turning  to 
Gusset.  "  But  they  must  be  politely  accepted.  Here,  Dizzle," 
she  continued,  "is  something  for  your  trouble.  Be  kind 
enough  to  leave  them  with' the  cook." 

Bill  nodded  and  started  away,  but  paused  suddenly,  and 
turning  round,  said  abruptly,  "  And  I  come  to  let  you  know 
the  boat  that's  got  on  board  your  darter  and  the  emperor's 
sister,  shied  on  to  a  bar,  and  '11  have  to  stay  till  the  next  tide, 
which  is  jest  beginning  now.  They'll  soon  be  here.  I  was 
putting  out  my  trot  line  and  saw  the  ladies." 

"  That  is  the  cause  of  the  delay,  Gusset,"  said  Mrs. 
Winkle.  "  But  I  hear  the  steamer's  bell  at  the  landing. 
They  will  be  here  in  a  few  minutes."  And  soon  after  Dew 
was  barking  joyously. 


CHAP  TEE   II. 


THE  GAME  BEGUN.  THE  CAT  OUT  OF  THE  BAG. 

THE  arrival  of  Miss  Wilsome  and  Lucy  produced  a  gene 
ral  commotion  throughout  the  establishment.  They  were  ac 
companied  by  Mr.  Jonathan  Dowly,  an  old  bachelor,  who  had 
been  one  among  the  numerous  competitors  for  the  hand  of 
Miss  Edith  Blount,  some  thirty-five  years  before  the  date  of 
the  events  recorded  in  this  history.  Submitting  in  silence  to 
the  victory  of  his  rival  (the  late  Mr.  Winkle),  he  had  aban 
doned  the  city,  and  lived  ever  afterwards  in  seclusion  and 
solitude  near  the  village  of  Babbleton,  contenting  himself 
with  dreamy  visions  of  his  first  and  only  love.  He  was  never 
known  to  smile  except  when  in  the  company  of  Mrs.  Winkle, 
or  some  member  of  the  family.  Lucy  was  a  perfect  dupli 
cate,  in  mercantile  parlance,  of  what  her  mother  had  been 
when  young ;  and  Mr.  Dowly,  happening  to  be  returning  from 
the  city  on  the  same  boat,  and  seeing  the  aunt  and  niece  un 
accompanied  by  a  protector,  had  ventured  timidly  to  make  a 
tender  of  his  services,  which  had  a  ready  acceptance  on  the 
part  of  Lucy- 


THE    GAME    BEGUN.  11 

"  Stop,  Gusset — don't  go  yet,  that's  a  good  creature,"  said 
Miss  Wilsome,  forcing  the  retired  milliner  back  into  her  chair. 
"  I  made  some  shameful  blunders  to-day.  Lucy  has  been 
telling  me.  You  must  forgive  it ;  I  had  forgotten  that  you 
were  no  longer  in  business.  It  would  have  been  so  pleasant 
to  have  had  you  at  dinner  with  us — for  we  had  no  company — 
and  your  conversation  on  the  wearisome  boat  would  have  been 
a  great  relief.  I  hope  you  are  quite  comfortable,  now." 

"  I  thank  you,  Miss  Wilsome,  and  your  munificent  family, 
for  the  little  independence  I  enjoy.  My  wants  are  few,  and 
expenses  light.  I  ought  to  be  satisfied  with  the  moderate 
means  I  possess.  I  am  an  humble  body,  and  must  never  for 
get  what  I  once  was.  I  am  not  worthy  of  having  any  apolo 
gies  bestowed  on  me — but  since  you  have  so  condescended,  I 
am  thankful." 

"  Good  Gusset — that's  a  kind  creature  !  Now  stay  to  tea, 
and  afterwards  we'll  have  whist.  I'm  so  glad  you  have  no 
girls  to  watch  over  at  home.  Sister,  invite  Gusset  to  stay 
to  tea." 

'•  Certainly,  she  will  oblige  us,"  responded  Mrs.  Winkle, 
who  had  been  insisting  upon  Mr.  Dowly's  remaining  likewise. 
"  But  Wilsome,  what  have  you  done  with  Walter,  and  Vir 
ginia  Oakland,  and  Mr.  Roland  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  made  Walter  stay  to  take  care  of  my  house.  The 
burglars  are  breaking  in  somewhere  every  night.  The  maids 
get  too  ungovernable  if  left  to  themselves " 

"  I  hope  you  don't  suppose  Walter  can  keep  them  in  or 
der  ?  " 

"  He  can  tell  me  if  they  misbehave." 

"  He  can  if  he  will." 

"  Will !  my  will  governs  in  my  house.  But  the  principal 
reason  why  I  left  him  in  charge  of  my  establishment,  is  that 
I  want  him  to  keep  my  coach  in  motion  every  day  until  the 
horses  are  thoroughly  tamed.  My  housemaid,  my  coachman, 
and  my  horses  are  all  spoilt  by  indulgence  in  idle  habits.  Do 
you  know  I  have  not  rode  in  my  own  coach  for  a  month? 
The  last  time  I  was  out,  I  thought  the  horses  were  going  to 
mount  up  in  the  air,  like  the  mythological  teams  we  read  of 
at  school.  They  pranced  and  reared  so  outrageously,  that 
I  had  to  call  a  policeman.  My  man  Snapper  could  not 
control  them.  Walter  seemed  delighted  with  the  proposition  ; 
and  the  Oakland  rosebud  is  to  stay  several  days  in  the  city 


12  THE    WINKLES. 

with  her  aunt.  I  don't  know  what  became  of  the  beast  Ro 
land  after  I  sent  him  to  Coventry.  Of  course,  Grusset  has 
told  you  how  that  was." 

"  I  hope,  Wilsome,  Walter  will  be  wise  enough  to  take 
care  of  himself,"  remarked  Mrs.  Winkle,  gravely. 

"  I  gave  him  particular  instructions,  and  of  course  he  will 
regulate  his  habits  accordingly.  Has  your  old  beau  consented 
to  stay  to  tea  ?  But  no  matter  ;  he  never  could  play.  Yet, 
he  is  as  silent  as  a  sarcophagus.  He  didn't  speak  a  dozen 
words  on  the  boat — but  just  laughed  with  his  eyes  at  Lucy. 
There  was,  however,  a  very  gentlemanly  somebody  smitten 
with  us.  I  have  seen  him  at  Madame  R.'s,  but  don't  know 
him.  He  shifted  his  position  continually,  but  never  got  a 
front  view  of  me.  I  wonder  why  the  men  are  never  con 
tented  with  the  aspect  presented  them  !  But  here's  the  tea. 
Lucy  must  wait  on  her  ancient  beau.  I  have  not  heard  his 
voice  to-night." 

And  Lucy  did  so  very  assiduously.  She  spread  the  snowy 
napkin  on  Mr.  Dowly's  lap,  and  held  the  sugar-dish  for  him, 
while  he  helped  himself  in  silence.  Mr.  Dowly  was  past  sixty 
and  quite  gray.  His  form  was  tall,  slight,  and  quite  erect  for 
one  of  his  age.  His  face  was  very  pale,  and  the  texture  of 
the  skin  almost  as  delicate  as  a  lady's.  His  eyes  were  large, 
very  dark  and  expressive ;  but  beneath  them  were  huge, 
wrinkled  cavities.  His  mouth  generally  protruded  into  a  wo- 
begone,  melancholy  expression.  But  his  nose  was  large  and 
finely  shaped,  redeeming  many  of  the  traces  of  time  and  sorrow 
on  his  manly  countenance.  His  dress  was  remarkable:  he 
wore  sometimes  a  blue  coat,  made  thirty  years  before,  and 
sometimes  a  brown  one,  fabricated  fifteen  years  after  the  blue 
one,  and  both  seemed  to  be  as  bright  and  free  from  the  evi 
dences  of  dilapidation  as  when  they  issued  from  the  hands  of 
the  tailor.  His  hat,  too,  although  shining  in  aspect,  belonged 
to  a  former  generation  ;  and,  in  accordance  with  the  good  old 
fashion,  his  neckerchief  was  of  a  snowy  whiteness.  Poor  old 
Mr.  Dowly  had  deeply  loved  Miss  Blount,  and  never  sought 
the  smiles  of  any  other.  He-  had  been  rejected  for  Mr. 
Winkle  ;  but  it  produced  no  other  sensation  in  his  breast  than 
that  of  melancholy  regret.  He  had  never  ceased  to  gaze  with 
pleasure  on  Mrs.  Winkle,  and,  as  we  have  said,  never  smiled 
except  when  in  the  presence  of  some  member  of  her  family. 
In  his  dreams  he  was  always  young  again,  and  Miss  Blouns 


ME   DOWLY.  13 

unmarried.  By  day  he  lived  in  the  past ;  scenes  and  senti 
ments  of  former  years  filled  his  reveries.  He  had  always 
been  in  the  habit  of  occasionally  visiting  the  family,  but  was 
ever  a  silent  guest,  unless  compelled  to  respond  to  the  friendly  i 
words  addressed  him.  He  had  not  been  a  more  frequent 
visitor  in  the  days  of  Mrs.  Winkle's  widowhood  than  during 
the  lifetime  of  her  husband.  It  was  too  late  in  life  to  renew 
his  addresses,  and  he  preferred  his  accustomed  contemplations 
of  the  past  to  any  of  the  realities  of  life  which  might  now  be 
presented  to  him.  He  lived  on  a  small  farm,  a  short  distance 
from  town,  employing  a  careful  Welsh  housekeeper  and  an 
industrious  gardener,  her  son.  His  circumstances  had  been 
good  ;  but  no  one  now  knew  any  thing  of  his  fortune.  Most 
people  believed  him  to  be  poor,  simply  because  they  never 
knew  him  to  incur  any  expense  that  might  be  avoided.  What 
ever  investments  he  had  were  in  the  city,  and  of  course  they 
were  past  finding  out,  since  he  never  spoke  of  his  affairs  to  his 
neighbors. 

Lucy  being  called  away  by  her  aunt,  who  was  arranging 
the  preliminaries  for  the  rubber  at  whist,  Mrs.  Winkle  occupied 
the  seat  vacated  by  her  daughter,  and  seemed  inclined  to 
engage  her  old  beau  in  a  conversation.  The  old  gentleman's 
large  dark  eyes  were  immediately  illuminated, 

"  Here,  we  sit  together  again,  Mr.  Dowly,  just  as  we  did 
thirty  years  ago.  It  seems  to  me  very  wonderful  that  at  the 
completion  of  three  decades,  after  the  many  storms  of  the 
world,  and  all  the  vicissitudes  of  life,  you  and  I,  and  a  few 
others  should  be  left  together  upon  the  shore  of  time,  while  so 
many  we  knew,  younger  than  ourselves,  and  apparently  with 
stronger  constitutions,  have  vanished  from  the  scene  for 


ever." 


Mr.  Dowly  made  no  reply,  but  assented  by  the  liquid  elo 
quence  of  his  eyes,  and  a  shrug  of  his  shoulders. 

"  I  strive  to  be  cheerful,  Mr.  Dowly,"  resumed  the  widow, 
"  and  find  it  more  pleasant  to  laugh  than  to  repine.  I  see  in 
my  daughter  a  counterpart  of  myself,  when  at  her  age " 

"  She's  beautiful — lovely — good,"  said  Mr.  Dowly. 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  Precisely  what  you  said  of  me,  some  thirty 
years  ago  !  And  believe  me  it  is  as  gratifying  to  hear  it  now, 
as  it  was  then.  You  never  reproached  me  for  the  preference 
I  gave  Mr.  Winkle." 


14  THE   WINKLES. 

"  He  was  a  preferable  man.  Different  from  the  rest  of  his 
family.  He  was  my  friend,  and  I  his." 

"  And  I  should  be  sorry  to  think  you  have  been  unhappy. 
I  wonder  you  did  not  marry." 

"  No  ;  I  have  been  very  happy.  I  live  in  the  past.  My 
thoughts  by  day — my  dreams  by  night ;  and  so  it  shall  be  to 
the  end.  I  am  glad  I  never  married.  I  never  will  marry. 
But  you  will  let  me  be  your  friend.  That  is  all  I  ask." 

"Most  certainly." 

"  And  Lucy  ;  she  may  want  a  friend." 

u  How  1  Oh  |  you  mean  my  lamented  husband  died  a 
bankrupt.  But  have  we  not  friends  ?  There's  sister  Wilsome 
and  my  brother-in-law — both  unmarried  like  yourself,  and  the 
last  worth  a  million,  and  as  generous  as  the  prince  he  supposes 
himself  to  be,  in  his  fits  of  strange  hallucination." 

"  I  hope  they  may  be  always  mindful  of  their  duty.  I 
have  no  relations.  This  property,  I  believe,  is  all  your  hus 
band  left." 

"  All.  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  Small  as  it  seems,  the  few  acres 
attached  are  made  to  yield  me  a  large  revenue,  I  assure  you, 
by  the  industry  of  good  old  Dibble  and  his  son  David,  the 
gardeners." 

"  You  are  fortunate  in  the  Dibbles.  But  is  not  the  place 
encumbered  by  a  mortgage  1  " 

"  I  believe  so ;  but  my  brother  Napoleon  attends  to  the 
interest.  I  really  don't  know  who  holds  the  mortgage." 

"  I  do ;  but  no  matter.  Only  this — if  you  should  ever 
have  a  serious  necessity  for  the  use  of  funds,  which  your  family 
may  be  slow  in  offering,  don't  forget  John  Dowly.  Nobody 
knows  any  thing  in  relation  to  that  old  man's  pecuniary  means, 
and  no  one  has  any  right  to  know — but  you.  Don't  forget 
him." 

tl  Forget  you  !  How  can  that  be  possible  ?  For  the  last 
twenty  years  not  a  week  has  gone  by,  that  some  little  present 
has  not  come  to  our  house  to  remind  us  of  the  existence  and 
uniform  kindness  of  good  John  Dowly.  The  only  difficulty 
is,  how  to  repay  with  gratitude  the  munificence  of  our  generous 
friend." 

"  Forget  that !  forget  that !  I  am  benefited  more  than 
any  body  else ;  only  do  not  forbid  me — do  not  reject  them, 
and  I  shall  continue  to  be  happy.  Good  night !  good  night ! 
My  horse  and  carriage  are  at  the  inn.  The  moon  shines 


A    MYSTERIOUS    PERSON.  15 

brightly,  just  as  it  did  when  I  was  young.  I  am  merry. 
Good  night."  And  the  old  man  departed,  his  large  brilliant 
eyes  glistening  the  more  from  the  slight  humidity  that  per 
vaded  them. 

"  How  shall  we  contrive  it  ?  "  asked  Wilsome,  seated  in  a 
rocking  chair  near  the  table,  and  addressing  Lucy  in  relation 
to  the  proposed  game. 

"  Let  me  see,"  responded  Lucy,  archly.  "  Ma,  you  know, 
has  an  aversion  to  the  grave  silence  imposed  on  the  players. 
You  have  often  said  she  was  too  merry  for  whist.  Gusset 
plays  very  well ;  but  should  there  not  be  a  man  among  us  ?  " 

"  There  should  be.  I  forgot  that  when  I  made  Walter 
stay  in  town.  But  who  would  have  supposed  there  was  not  a 
single  man  to  be  had  in  all  Babbleton  ?  " 

"  There  are  an  abundance  of  single  men  here,"  said  Mrs. 
Winkle,  smiling. 

"  Deuce  take  the  bachelors  !  I  mean  a  single  gentleman, 
married  or  unmarried,  for  one's  partner  at  whist.  I  can't 


play  with  a  lady  partner.  Why,  Lucy,  have  you  no  beaux  ? 
Don't  blush  so,  child  !  Really,  you  begin  to  look  like  a  woman. 
Behold  her,  sister;  she  is  taller  than  you,  and  yours  was  a 
good  height.  See  her  broad  shoulders,  her  almost  Juno  neck, 
her  full  rounded  bust,  her  ivory  forehead,  her  cloud  of  dark 
chestnut  hair,  her  beautifully  flushing  cheeks,  the  white  and 
red  contending  for  the  mastery  !  I  never  noticed  her  before. 
She  is  a  lovely  creature  !  " 

"  Aunt  Wilsome !  "  responded  Lucy,  laughing  heartily 
"  What  should  I  do  if  I  were  to  hear  some  gentleman  utter 
such  a  speech  1 " 

"  Do  ?  Why,  if  he  were  one  approved  by  your  family — 
which,  never  forget,  is  a  good  one — you  might  recline  your 
head  on  his  shoulder,  and  surrender  your  heart.  But  never 
be  precipitate  ;  ten  years  hence  will  be  time  enough.  You 
see  /am  in  no  hurry.  Still,  I  think  you  are  old  enough,  and 
handsome  enough  to  have  beaux.  At  least  some  visitor 
capable  of  playing  whist  as  my  partner.  Is  there  no  such 
one?" 

"  There  is  a  gentleman  living  in  the  white  cottage  oppo 
site,  who  sometimes  visits  Walter,  and  who  remarked  last 
evening  that  the  game  was  a  sensible  one." 

"  He's  a  sensible  man.     Who  is  he,  Gusset  ?  " 

"  A  mysterious  person.     He  has  been  here  only  a  few 


16  THE    WINKLES. 

months ;  no  one  yet  visits  him  but  Mr.  Walter,  and  he  goes 
nowhere,  except  occasionally,  to  return  Walter's  visits.  But 
he  is  handsome,  and  only  about  twenty-five.  He  is  tall,  pale, 
and  sometimes  very  sad." 

"  What  is  he  doing  here  ?  Has  he  no  profession,  no 
businesss  ?  " 

"  It  seems  not.  He  has  taken  the  cottage,  and  brought 
some  furniture  and  a  great  many  books  from  New  York." 

"  Does  he  live  alone  ?  " 

"  He  has  an  old  housekeeper,  he  brought  with  him — and 
she  is  English,  for  she  says  ouse  instead  of  house,  and  hair 
instead  of  air." 

"  How  does  he  dress  ?     What  sort  of  feet  and  hands?  " 

"  His  clothes  are  very  genteel — but  not  foppish.  His  feet 
and  hands  are  small  and  handsome,  the  latter  very  white," 

"  So  !  He  is  either  a  gentleman,  or  a  black-leg,  or  forger, 
or  fugitive,  or  something  of  the  sort.  What  do  you  think, 
Lucy?" 

"  I  know  him  to  be  a  gentleman,  aunt — and  an  educated 
gentleman,  who  has  been  accustomed  to  the  best  society.  He 
has  read  every  great  author,  and  is  very  agreeable  in  conver 
sation.  He  is  a  musician  too,  and  sings  delightfully." 

"  Oh,  I  see  you  like  him.  I  don't  think  he  can  be  one  of 
the  opera  troupe.  What's  his  name  ?  " 

"  Lowe — Edmund  Lowe,"  said  Gusset.  "  But  surely  he 
won't  play  cards  with  us " 

"  Why?"  demanded  Miss  Wilsome,  abruptly. 

"  Because,  one  Sunday,  when  the  rector's  wife  was  taken 
suddenly  ill,  and  her  husband  was  sent  for,  Mr.  Lowe,  stranger 
as  he  was,  stepped  forward  and  offered  to  read  the  service. 
Surely  he  won't  play  cards  !  " 

"  That  don't  follow.     But  did  he  read  ?  " 

"  He  did  indeed,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  "  and  I  never  heard 
the  prayers  better  read  in  my  life." 

"  That  will  do.     Send  for  Mr.  Lowe  to  be  my  partner." 

Lucy  whispered  to  Biddy,  the  message  she  wished  to  be 
delivered.  A  few  minutes  after,  Mr.  Lowe  was  ushered  in, 
and  introduced  with  due  formality  to  the  old  maid,  whose 
partner  he  became  without  the  slightest  hesitation. 

"  I'm  afraid  you  will  repent  of  your  complaisance,"  said 
Lucy  to  Mr.  Lowe,  who  sat  at  her  elbow  while  her  aunt 
shuffled  the  cards.  "  My  aunt  plays  very  patiently " 


A   SALUTE.  17 

"  Of  course  I  do,"  said  Miss  Wilsome;  "  the  game  loses 
its  interest  when  neglected." 

"I  am  very  fond  of  the  game,  and  have  been  called  a  good 
player,"  replied,  Mr.  Lowe. 

«  I'm  glad  to  hear  you  say  so,"  said  Miss  Wilsome, 
secretly  planning  to  employ  as  much  of  his  time  as  possible 
during  her  stay  at  Babbleton. 

"  My  aunt  sometimes  indulges  in  long  sittings,"  pursued 
Lucy,  with  an  arch  glance  at  the  composed  features  of  the 
gentleman. 

"  I  frequently  retire  at  three  in  the  morning,  and  rise  at 
eleven,"  was  the  imperturbable  reply. 

"  You  are  the  very  partner  I  want ! "  cried  Miss 
Wilsome. 

"  Fortunate  sister,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  laughing ;  "  but 
you  must  have  pity  on  Lucy.  If  she  remains  awake  too  long 
after  the  usual  hour  of  going  to  rest,  she  will  have  shocking 
eyes  the  next  day." 

"  There  is  too  much  brilliant  fire  sparkling  in  them  now," 
said  Miss  Wilsome,  "  to  be  dimmed  so  easily." 

"  I  declare,  Mr.  Lowe,"  said  Lucy,  "  my  aunt  has  done 
nothing  but  compliment  me  ever  since  this  game  was 
proposed." 

"  Pay  attention  to  your  cards,  Lucy,  and  assort  them  be 
fore  you  begin.  It  is  Mr.  Lowe's  lead,"  said  Miss  Wilsome. 

"  How  could  she  do  otherwise  ? "  was  Mr.  Lowe's  calm 
response,  whilst  leading  a  trump. 

"  That's  the  knave,  I  believe,"  said  Miss  Wilsome,  staring 
at  the  card.  Her  vision  was  impaired  by  age,  but  it  was  ob 
served  that  she  never  used  her  glasses  when  unmarried 
gentlemen  played  with  her.  "  Sir,  you  do  me  honor,"  she 
continued,  with  her  lips  contracted  into  a  simper. 

"  But  it's  my  trick  !  "  said  Gusset,  triumphantly,  playing 
the  ace. 

Before  the  first  game  was  ended,  a  tremendous  explosion 
was  heard  in  the  distance,  and  was  followed  quickly  by  a  suc 
cession  of  startling  reports. 

"Bless  my  life!  What's  that?"  cried  Miss  Wilsome, 
springing  up  from  her  chair,  and  running  to  a  window.  "  See 
that  flash  !  Just  listen  !  "  she  continued. 

"  It  is  a  salute,"  said  Mr.  Lowe,  joining  Miss  Wilsome. 
t;  I  did  not  know  there  was  a  ship  of  war  in  the  river." 


18  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Nor  I  either,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  smiling.  "  Indeed  I 
know  there  is  no  such  ship  in  this  vicinity." 

"  Is  there  a  fort  in  the  neighborhood  ?  "  asked  Mr.  Lowe. 

"  No  !  "  responded  Miss  Wilsome,  angrily,  and  returning 
to  the  table.  "  Take  up  your  cards.  It  is  only  my  crazy 
brother.  He  should  be  confined  in  a  madhouse  when  those 
fits  are  on  him." 

"  Your  brother  ?  "  asked  Mr.  Lowe. 

"  Yes,  sir.  Is  it  possible  he  has  been  quiet  since  you  have 
been  residing  here,  so  that  you  have  not  heard  all  about  him  ? 
Yes,  it  is  my  brother  Napoleon  Winkle.  He  is  a  mono 
maniac  on  the  subject  of  Bonaparte's  campaigns — in  other 
matters  he  is  rational  enough." 

"  He  is  an  amiable,  generous,  noble-minded  man,"  said 
Gusset,  with  emphasis,  though  timidly. 

"  Why,  Gusset,  what  do  you  know  about  him  ? "  asked 
Miss  Wilsome,  fixing  her  large  searching  eyes  upon  the  re 
tired  milliner,  and  then,  seeing  Mr.  Lowe  evinced  some  in 
terest  in  the  subject,  she  continued :  "  My  brother,  although 
really  eighteen  months  younger  than  myself,  and  still  a 
bachelor,  is  proprietor  of  one  of  the  largest  estates  in  the 
county,  which  was  mostly  inherited  from  our  father,  who  di 
vided  his  fortune  equally  between  his  three  children.  Na 
poleon,  preferring  land  to  money,  holds  the  old  homestead 
plantation,  which  he  has  most  singularly  divided  and  subdi 
vided  into  tracts  after  the  plan  of  the  map  of  Europe.  Every 
state  of  Europe,  whether  empire,  kingdom,  principality  or 
duchy,  may  be  found  on  his  farm.  Of  course  he  resides  in 
France.  He  reads  nothing  that  does  not  glorify  his  great 
model ;  and  so  fascinated  has  he  become  with  the  bloody 
career  of  that  detestable  butcher,  that  he  sometimes  fancies 
that  the  spirit  of  the  conquering  demon  has  been  transmitted 
to  him,  and  animates  his  corpulent  body !  He  has  been  told 
that  he  resembles  Bonaparte — and  he  really  does  look  like  the 
prints  of  him — and  of  course  that  fact  exercises  a  powerful  in 
fluence  over  his  imagination.  He  has  likewise  picked  up 
somewhere  an  old  sergeant — one  legged,  one  armed,  and  one 
eyed — who  served  under  the  Emperor,  believes  he  was  a  God, 
and  that  his  soul  has  taken  up  its  abode  in  the  breast  of  my 
poor  brother.  They  have  a  perfect  identity  of  ideas  and 
feelings ;  and  so  they  have  erected  little  forts  in  the  countries 
they  fancy  they  have  subjugated,  and  ever  and  anon  they  cele- 


NAPOLEON    WINKLE.  19 

brate  the  anniversary  of  some  one  of  their  victories.  That  is 
the  solution  of  this  startling  rumpus  to-night.  I  dare  say  my 
sister  Winkle  there,  who  is  turning  over  the  leaves  of  Alison's 
history,  will  soon  be  able  to  tell  us  what  battle  occurred  on 
this  day  of  the  month.  The  magistrates  of  the  county  ought 
to  put  a  stop  to  such  a  ridiculous  nuisance,  for  the  whole 
country  is  often  startled  and  shocked  at  an  unexpected 
moment  by  such  Quixotic  operations." 

"  All  the  justices  in  the  state  would  not  venture  to  attack 
the  good  man,"  said  Gusset. 

"  Gusset,  you  are  the  only  one  I  ever  saw  who  was  willing 
to  defend  my  brother — and  truly  he  does  not  need  any  one  to 
defend  him.  No  doubt  if  the  officers  were  to  approach  his 
premises  for  the  avowed  purpose  of  suppressing  his  amuse 
ments,  he  would  conceive  them  to  be  invaders  from  some 
hostile  country,  and  would  send  bombs  and  grape-shot  in  their 
midst.  He  has  eight  or  ten  old  cannons,  large  and  small,  and 
a  mortar  or  two.  In  one  of  his  engagements  he  had  a  horse 
killed  under  him " 

"You  mean  an  imaginary  horse,  Miss  Winkle?"  re 
marked  Mr.  Lowe. 

"  No  indeed  !  He  was  fighting  over  the  battle  of  Lodi — 
forgetting,  I  believe,  that  the  first  Napoleon  was  then  on  foot 
— when  one  of  the  old  pieces,  which  Sergeant  Blore  was  firing 
with  a  slow  match — himself  out  of  danger — burst  into  a 
thousand  pieces.  The  horse  was  torn  to  atoms,  while  the 
rider  remained  unhurt.  Then  the  sergeant  embraced  his 
master,  and  called  him  the  '  Little  Corporal ! '  " 

"  Never  have  I  heard  of  the  actual  existence  of  so  singular 
a  character,"  said  Mr.  Lowe.  "  It  reminds  me  of  Sterne's 
fictitious  Uncle  Toby  and  Corporal  Trim." 

"  Yes.  And  often  have  I  told  my  brother  that  he  was  a 
plagiarist ;  but  he  assured  me  upon  his  honor  that  he  had 
never  read  a  word  of  Sterne,  and  it  cannot  be  denied  that  he 
is  a  man  of  strict  veracity  and  honor.  But  he  banished  me 
from  his  territories  for  even  suggesting  such  a  thing.  He 
called  me  a  meddling  Madame  de  Stael,  and  told  me,  most 
imperiously,  to  go  and  perform  my  true  mission  as  a  woman, 
letting  politics  alone  ! " 

"  Ha !  ha  !  Just  like  Napoleon  the  first,"  said  Mrs.  Win 
kle.  "  But  here  it  is  !  It  is  the  anniversary  of  the  battle  of 


20  TEE   WINKLES. 

Marengo,  and  it  appears  the  victory  over  the  Austrians  was 
not  complete  until  after  nightfall.  Poor  uncle  Toby !  " 

"  I  do  not  think,  Ma,"  said  Lucy,  "  that  uncle  Winkle 
copies  Sterne's  hero.  He  does  not  fight  with  jack-boots,  and 
there  is  no  widow  in  the  case." 

"  No,  truly,"  said  Gusset.  "  And  I've  often  heard  Mr. 
Winkle  say  no  widow  could  ever  carry  his  heart." 

"  And  you  remember  the  saying  ?  "  interrogated  Miss  Wil- 
some,  darting  a  glance  at  the  milliner.  "  My  brother,  I 
suppose,  has  no  notion  of  marrying  at  all,  at  least  not  im 
mediately." 

"  No,  aunt,"  said  Lucy.  "  He  has  often  said  he  would 
wait  until  after  the  celebration  of  your  nuptials." 

"  And,  my  pretty  niece,  that  may  occur  sooner  than  you 
suppose.  But  if  it  should  not,  pray  don't  let  it  be  a  re 
straint  upon  you." 

*'  Oh,  mercy,  aunt!  " 

"  Then  don't  meddle  with  sharp  instruments.  What 
amuses  my  partner  ?  He  is  almost  convulsed.  Pay  attention, 
sir  !  Gusset  would  not  have  won  that '  trick,'  as  she  calls  it, 
but  for  your  inattention.  Being  third  in  play,  you  should 
have  secured  it." 

"  But  I  have  the  honors,  and  we  win  the  game.  I  was 
thinking  of  an  incident  I  witnessed  during  the  battle  of  Buena 
Vista,  which  our  resumption  of  the  game  brought  to  mind." 

"  Were  you  in  that  battle  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  Oh  yes.     Merely  as  a  spectator.    I  have  been  a  wanderer 

» 

"  The  incident  — the  incident,"  said  Miss  Wilsome,  deal 
ing  the  cards. 

"  The  mounted  regiment  from  Kentucky,  as  you  must  be 
aware "  began  Mr.  Lowe. 

"  No,  I  did  not  read  a  word  of  the  war,  because  I  was 
opposed  to  it." 

"  The  Kentuckians  were  ordered  to  maintain  a  certain 
position.  After  every  charge  they  returned  to  the  ground 
specified.  That  their  horses  might  continue  in  wind,  the 
riders,  after  every  attack,  dismounted,  and  choosing  partners, 
sat  down  and  played  cards  on  the  ground.  And  I  noticed 
that  whenever  the  order  came  for  them  to  mount  and  charge 
the  hostile  lancers,  each  one  put  down  his  cards,  the  trumps 
carefully  concealed  at  the  bottom.  And  when  they  returned 


TOM;    OR    HIS    GHOST.  21 

if  the  amusement  had  not  been  forestalled  by  the  loss  of  a 
partner — and  I  believe  one  in  every  five  of  the  regiment  fell 
— the  game  was  resumed  with  a  nonchalance  equal  to  our  own 
after  the  cannonading  we  heard  just  now." 

"  Well,  Biddy  ?  well  ?  What  do  you  want  ?  "  asked  Mrs. 
Winkle,  seeing  her  maid  open  the  door  leading  into  the  hall, 
and  standing  in  a  hesitating  attitude. 

"  It's  Dill  Bizzle,  main." 

"  Bill  Dizzle,  she  means,"  said  Lucy,  smiling  at  the  habit 
ual  blunder  of  Biddy. 

"  What  does  he  bring,  now  ?  Mushrooms  or  terrapins  ?" 

"  It's  in  a  bag,  mam — and  he  sis  it's  for  Miss   Milsop." 

"  Wilsome — you  stupid  dunce  ! "  cried  Miss  Winkle,  her 
temples  as  red  as  her  cheeks.  "  Remember  that,  Biddy.  It 
is  the  second  time  you  have  made  that  blunder.  Let  it  be 
the  last." 

"  Ye — s  mam." 

"  I  don't  like  to  be  called  mam,  either.  But  what  has  the 
boy  brought  me  ?  Tell  him  to  come  here  with  it.  With 
your  permission,  Mr.  Lowe."  Mr.  Lowe  bowed  his  assent. 

Dizzle  was  ushered  in  with  a  bag  on  his  arm.  In  vain  it 
was  conjectured  what  its  contents  might  be.  Lucy  retired  to 
the  furthest  corner  of  the  room,  and  her  mother  did  not  ap 
proach  nearer  to  the  messenger  or  his  mysterious  burden. 

"  What  in  the  world  is  it  ?  "  demanded  Miss  Wilsome,  in  a 
loud  voice. 

"  I'll  show  him,"  said  Dizzle,  with  his  invariable  smile, 
striving  for  some  length  of  time  ineffectually  to  dislodge  the 
object  from  the  sack. 

"  Mercy  on  us  !     It  moves  !     Is  it  alive  ?  "  cried  Lucy. 

"  In  course  he's  alive,"  said  Dizzle,  violently  jerking  up 
the  closed  end  of  the  sack,  and  forcibly  extricating  the 
animal. 

It  was  a  beautiful  white  cat.  And  it  stood  quite  motion 
less  in  their  midst,  and  during  the  breathless  silence  that 
ensued,  gazed  round  in  utter  bewilderment  at  the  strange 
faces.  It  then  uttered  a  piteous  cry,  and  walked  slowly  to 
wards  Miss  Wilsome,  who  sprang  upon  it  with  spasmodic 
delight  and  hugged  it  in  her  arms. 

"  It's  my  poor  Tom,  or  his  ghost !  "  cried  she. 

"  He's  one  of  the  family,  and  jest  as  good  as  the  old  Tom," 
said  Dizzle. 


22  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Poor  puss  !  "  continued  Miss  Wilsome,  delighted  to  see 
the  pet  appreciating  her  caresses,  "where  in  the  world  did 
it  come  from  ?  Excuse  me,  Mr.  Lowe,  but  I  had  a  cat  I 
loved  so  much — he  died — or  was  cruelly  murdered  by  a  dog 
named  Roland — and  this  is  a  perfect  picture  of  him.  Who 
sent  it  to  me,  Dizzle  ?  Here's  a  dollar  for  you." 

"  He  told  me,  before  I  told  you,  you  must  tell  me " 

"  I  must  tell  you  ?  " 

"  If  it  was  going  to  make  you  mad." 

"  Mad  ?  Why  no  !  If— if— if  it  is  only  another— like  the 
one  I  had,"  continued  Miss  Wilsome,  gazing  affectionately  at 
the  humming  and  purring  creature — "  I  mean  if  it  should  be 
another " 

"  Don't  you  see  it's  another?  "  responded  Dizzle.  "  Jest 
as  much  like  your  old  Tom  as  two  peas — not  a  black  hair  on 
him — and  not  a  bit  wicious  !  " 

"  I  mean,  Dizzle,  if  it  has  the  same  name — and  the  same 
disposition — and " 

"  His  name's  Tom,  and  in  course Mr.  Roland  said 

you'd  as  soon  have  a  nanny  goat  about  your  house  as  a  biddy 
cat.  He's  a  innocent  fellow,  too,  /know." 

"  You  think  he  never  murdered  a  mouse  ?  "  asked  Mr. 
Lowe,  which  was  succeeded  by  half  suppressed  explosions  of 
laughter  from  Lucy  and  her  mother. 

"  Dizzle  !  "  continued  Miss  Wilsome,  "  if  Mr.  Roland  sent 
me  this  pet,  tell  him  he  has  made  amends  for  his  unlucky  act 
— and  that  I  forgive  him.  Go  now,  Dizzle.  Mr.  Lowe, 
please  excuse  me  for  desiring  to  postpone  the  game  until  to 
morrow.  You  can  have  no  conception  of  the  deep  interest  I 
take  in  the  poor  dumb  domestic  animals  which  are  generally 
so  cruelly  treated.  I  am  aware  of  the  censure  I  incur  ;  but 
I  defy  the  scandal  of  idle  tongues.  Good-by,  Gusset.  But 
whatever  affords  us  any  degree  of  happiness,  however  insigni 
ficant  the  object  which  produces  it  may  appear,  should  not  be 
despised." 

Mr.  Lowe  assented  readily  to  the  proposition,  remarking 
that  one  of  his  aunts  had  been  so  fond  of  a  poodle  as  to 
carry  it  always  in  her  carriage,  and  she  made  it  a  rule  to  kiss 
the  dear  little  creature  every  night  before  retiring  to  rest.  He 
then  took  his  leave ;  and  Miss  Wilsome,  giving  full  vent 
to  her  long  pent  up  affection,  almost  distracted  poor  Tom  with 
her  infinite  fund  of  endearments. 


ON    A    LARK.  23 

CHAPTEK  III. 

ON  A  LARK— WALTER— THE  STUDENT— THE  POET. 

LEFT  sole  master  of  his  aunt's  establishment  in  the  city,  young 
Winkle  resolved,  as  most  young  gentlemen  of  his  age  and  dis 
position  would  have  done,  to  make  the  most  of  his  opportunity, 
and  reap  the  greatest  possible  amount  of  enjoyment  from  the 
means  and  time  placed  at  his  disposal.  Therefore,  no  sooner 
had  his  aunt  and  sister  departed  for  the  boat,  than  he  tossed 
the  book  he  had  been  reading — "  The  Mirror  of  Moral  Pro 
priety,1'  written  for  the  edification  of  credulous  dupes — to  the 
farthest  extremity  of  the  parlor,  and  leaning  back,  rang  the 
bell  very  violently. 

"  Tell  Snapper  to  have  the  carriage  at  the  door  as  soon  as 
possible,"  was  the  young  man's  order  to  the  housemaid,  who 
gazed  with  eager  curiosity. 

"  Iss,  sir." 

"  And  when  you  have  done  that,  Rose,  come  back  to  me. 
I  shall  want  you." 

"  Iss,  sir,"  responded  the  maid,  springing  away  to  do  the 
young  man's  bidding. 

Then  Walter  promenaded  the  magnificent  saloon,  with  a 
proud  step  and  a  sounding  heel.  His  hands  were  thrust  into 
his  pockets  behind,  and  his  eyes,  disregarding  the  statuary 
and  fine  paintings  surrounding  him,  were  fixed  upon  the 
ceiling. 

"  If  I  could  only  meet  with  one  of  the  fellows,  now  !  "  said 
he,  "  what  a  time  we  would  have  !  If  I  thought  my  aunt 
would  stay  away  several  days — but  she  never  knows  herself — 
I  could  write  to  Princeton,  or  to  New  York,  and  get  one  or 
two " 

"  Iss,  sir,"  said  Rose,  standing  before  him  at  one  of  his 
turns,  and  dropping  a  slight  courtesy. 

"  Oh,  you  told  him,  did  you  ?  " 

"  Iss,  sir." 

"  All  right,  Rose.  Rose,  I  suppose  my  aunt  told  you  all 
that  I  was  left  master  of  the  house  ?  " 

"Iss  sir." 


24  THE    WINKLES. 

"  And  of  course  every  one  will  do  whatever  I  desire  ?  " 

'•  Oh  iss,  sir." 

"  Then  tell  the  cook  I  may  have  company  to  a  late  supper; 
and  if  I  do,  I  shall  want  at  least  five  hundred  oysters  roasted 
in  the  shell.  Is  there  any  champagne  in  the  cellar  ?  " 

"  Iss,  sir." 

"'  See  that  the  cobwebs  are  brushed  off  some  half-a-dozen 
of  the  bottles." 

"  Iss,  sir." 

"  I  suppose  my  aunt  don't  smoke  cigars  ?  " 

«  Iss_0h  la,  no,  sir." 

"  Then  I'll  buy  some.  She  gave  me  her  purse.  Let  the 
bill  for  the  oysters — and  a  brace  of  woodcock — be  presented 
in  the  morning " 

"  It  can't  be  done,  for  it's  onreasonable  !  "  said  the  great 
fat  colored  cook,  who  had  been  listening  in  the  hall,  and  now 
came  boldly  forward,  as  matters  pertaining  to  her  jurisdiction 
were  discussed. 

"  Why,  Griddle  ?     Pray,  why  is  it  unreasonable  ?  " 

"  Why  ?  Why  who  ever  heard  of  oysters  at  this  sea 
son  ?  " 

"  True— I  didn't  think  of  that." 

"  There's  none  but  milky  ones — and  the  cholera's  bad 
enough  without  helping  it  any." 

"  True,  Griddle.  You  are  a  philosopher.  But  what  is 
there  nice  for  me  to  invite  a  friend  to,  if  I  should  meet  with 
one  ?  " 

"  Plenty.  I  can  get  woodcock,  and  if  you  can  afford  it — 
for  Miss  Wilsome  wouldn't — I  can  get  fresh  salmon " 

"  That's  it.  Get  a  dollar  or  so's  worth.  I  hear  the  bell 
— see  who  it  is,  Rose.  [Exit  Rose.]  Now,  my  good  Griddle, 
I  may  rely  on  you  ?  " 

"  That  you  may  !  Say  nothing  more  about  it.  It  does 
my  heart  good  to  see  young  people  enjoy  demselves  in  reason, 
if  they  behave  demselves.  And  I  saw  old  Snapper's  eyes 
blinking,  and  his  teeth  grinning,  as  he  went  to  the  stable.  It 
does  our  old  hearts  good  to  get  a  sight  of  the  young  gentry 
once  in  a  while." 

"  Iss — it's  the  coach,  sir." 

"  Is  it  down  fore  and  aft  ?  Stop,  I  can  see  through  the 
blinds.  Yes,  all's  right." 

"  Snapper'll  do  right !  "  said  Griddle.     il  He'll  have  every 


A   FAIR    START.  25 

thing  open  and  displayed  in  grand  style.  And  he's  got  on  his 
new  coat  with  the  silver  buttons." 

"  Iss,  and  his  new  hat,  with  the  broad  silver  lace  band." 

c:  I  can't  tell  when  I'll  be  back,"  said  the  young  gentleman, 
pulling  on  his  kid  gloves.  "  But  have  the  supper  and  the 
champagne  ready  when  they  are  called  for." 

He  then  strode  through  the  hall,  and  descended  the  flight 
of  marble  steps  in  front  with  the  elasticity  of  buoyant  youth 
enfranchised  from  every  species  of  restraint,  and  exulting  in 
the  possession,  as  he  supposed,  of  the  means  of  commanding 
the  most  perfect  happiness.  No  individual  in  the  street  of 
decent  exterior  escaped  his  eyes  as  he  mounted  into  the  luxu 
riantly  cushioned  carriage  ;  and  he  was  quite  sure  that  no  eye 
could  withhold  its  admiring  glance  from  his  handsome  person 
and  brilliant  equipage.  Nevertheless  Walter  Winkle  was  not 
excessively  vain,  and  he  was  now  engaged  in  his  first  fit  of  ex 
travagant  folly,  an  indulgence  mainly  attributable  to  the  re 
action  which  sometimes  follows  a  long  imposed  restraint,  or  is 
one  of  the  incidents  of  healthful  youth,  and  accompanying  the 
exuberance  of  spirits  so  often  inseparable  from  it. 

Snapper  had  now  an  opportunity  of  taking  off  the  wiry 
edge  of  his  high-mettled  and  almost  ungovernable  horses.  His 
whip  sounded  startlingly  over  their  astonished  ears.  Their 
nostrils  were  turned  out,  their  eyes  emitted  luminous  rays, 
and  their  bits  were  covered  with  foam,  before  the  expiration 
of  the  first  hour  of  their  exercises.  Walter,  alone  in  the  car 
riage,  reclining  on  the  rear  seat,  had  already  traversed  most  of 
the  fashionable  thoroughfares,  and  had  doubtless  been  stared 
at  by  thousands  of  dark  flashing  eyes,  for  the  gay  season  at 
the  watering-places  had  not  yet  commenced. 

"  Snapper ! "  cried  Walter,  as  they  were  returning  slowly 
through  Chestnut  street,  and  when  opposite  the  custom  house 
— "  follow  that  man  with  the  straw  hat — the  one  with  a  blue 
coat  and  metal  buttons.  I  think  he's  a  friend  of  mine.  Deuce 
take  the  omnibuses  and  drays " 

"  The  drays  are  loaded  with  kags  of  silver  and  gold,"  re 
plied  Snapper. 

"  And  Uncle  Sam's  specie  seems  to  be  the  only  money  in 
the  country  that  passes  too  slowly.  Can't  you  get  round  it 
some  how  ?  I'm  afraid  we'll  lose  the  blue  coat  and  brass  but 
tons.  I  wish  some  of  the  Washington  officials  were  here  !  " 

Snapper   succeeded  in    extricating    the   horses   from   the 


26  THE    WINKLES. 

throng,  by  dint  of  hard  whipping,  a  commanding  voice,  and 
his  silver  lace  and  buttons,  just  in  time  to  come  up  with  the 
pedestrian  when  opposite  the  door  of  the  American  hotel. 

"  George  Parke  !  Huzza !  "  cried  Walter.  "  How  are 
you,  old  fellow,"  he  continued,  leaping  down  and  seizing  the 
hand  of  his  friend,  who  was  really  younger  thar  himself,  al 
though  "  old  fellow  "  was  repeatedly  uttered  by  ..hem  both. 

"  Whose  carriage  is  that.  Winkle  ?  "  asked  Farke. 

Mine — mine  for  a  day  or  two,  at  the  very  least.     But 
where  are  you  going  ?  " 

"  To  the  American,  here.  You  know  what  that  means. 
Out  of  money.  Uncle  Johnny  at  Princeton,  you  know,  thinks 
differently.  Have  you  seen  any  of  the  boys  ?  Our  class  is 
off  for  the  vacation.  I  don't  go  South  this  summer;  but  have 
written  home  for  money.  I  have  only  a  shilling  left  for  cigars, 
and  don't  know  how  I  am  to  get  to  the  opera  to-night,  unless 
the  landlord  will  lend  me  some  cash.  I'm  glad  the  college  is 
in  good  credit  here." 

"  Say  no  more  !  "  cried  Walter.  "  Let  me  fling  your  car 
pet-bag  in.  Now  jump  up  yourself.  You  shall  be  my  guest. 
Aunty's  away,  and  I  am  master  of  her  establishment.  Jupiter, 
Mars  and  Saturn  !  But  I  am  glad  I  met  you !  What  would 
I  have  done  there  alone,  or  with  only  a  pack  of  grinning  ser 
vants  laughing  at  me,  a  noisy  parrot,  and  a  mischievous  mon 
key  ?  We'll  enjoy  ourselves,  Parke,  and  you  shall  be  at  no 
expense.  Drive  home,  Snapper  !  Parke,  old  fellow,  there  is 
a  beautiful  girl  in  the  city " 

"  A  thousand,  you  mean." 

"  No,  I  don't.  But  there  is  one,  above  all  others,  the 
queen  of  beauty — the,  the  Oakland." 

"  Is  she  here  ?  " 

"  At  her  uncle's — Dr.  Nitre's.  I  brought  her  down  to 
day.  After  rubbing  up  a  little  we'll  go  there  and  have  her  to 
ride  with  us." 

"  Won't  her  aunt  Nitre  go  along  ?  " 

"  I  hope  not.  But  if  she  does,  you  know  Virginia's  my 
prize.  That  rich  snob,  Ralph  Roland,  is  still  following  her— 
but  she  says  he's  not  the  thing.  And  I  natter  myself " 

"  But  Winkle,  you  must  let  me  have  a  fair  start  with 
you." 

"  Parke  !  It  may  be  well  for  us  to  understand  each  other, 
and  then  there  can  be  no  mistake.  Virginia  and  I  are " 


UTTER   CONFUSION.  27 

"  What  ?  " 

"  Engaged  !  Now  you  have  it.  We  expect  to  wait  a  year 
or  so — but  the  thing  is  understood  between  ourselves.  That's 
all.  Don't  whisper  it  in  your  dreams.  Now,  you  may  flirt 
with  her  as  much  as  you  please,  and  I  can  rely  upon  your 
honor.5' 

"  Oh,  yest-I  understand.     The  old  trick." 

"  I  assure  you  I  am  serious,  George,  though  I  cannot  for 
the  life  of  me  look  grave.  If  it  were  not  so,  what  objection 
think  you  could  I  have  to  your  falling  in  love  with  her,  and 
she  with  you  ?  None,  whatever,  believe  me.  But  you  forget 
Julia  Nitre  !  If  the  old  lady  should  take  it  into  her  head  to 
be  one  of  the  party,  I  don't  suppose  her  daughter  is  to  be  left 
at  home." 

"  I've  heard  some  accounts  of  Miss  Julia ;  and  if  she  be 
half  as  handsome  as  they  report  her,  you  may  enjoy  your  real 
or  pretended  affianced  to  your  heart's  content.  Is  this  your 
aunt's  establishment  ?  It  is  stately  enough." 

They  descended  in  front  of  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle's  man 
sion,  and  without  delay  mounted  to  the  third  story.  The 
apartments  had  been  hastily  prepared  for  the  accommodation 
of  Walter,  but  nevertheless,  there  were  many  evidences  re 
maining  of  the  idiosyncrasy  of  the  proprietor.  Broken  fur 
niture,  fractured  china,  and  old  slippers ;  the  accumulation  of 
some  thirty  years,  were  packed  away  under  the  beds  and  in 
the  corners.  Even  dingy  doll  babies,  probably  arrived  at  the 
mature  age  of  threescore  and  ten — for  they  had  amused  the 
little  Wilsome  some  sixty  years  before — were  visible  in  the 
closets.  And  on  the  mantel-piece,  preserved  in  a  glass  case, 
was  an  antique  silver  pin-cushion,  filled  with  pins  blackened 
by  the  damps  of  departed  generations,  and  duly  labelled  as 
the  one  used  by  Miss  Winkle's  mother,  or  grandmother,  it  is 
not  recollected  which,  on  her  wedding-day.  In  another  case, 
were  the  high-heeled  wedding  shoes.  In  short,  Miss  Wilsome 
was  one  of  those  remarkable  characters  who  literally  preserve 
every  thing,  and  in  emergencies  can  find  nothing,  because  of  the 
superabundance  and  confusion  of  their  acquisitions.  And 
although  she  was  quite  as  parsimonious  and  economical  as 
might  be  consistent  with  the  habits  of  life,  yet  she  never  knew 
the  exact  state  of  her  finances.  Having  originally  one  hun 
dred  thousand  dollars,  in  money,  the  entire  sum  was  invested 
in  such  securities  as  the  cashier  of  the  bank  where  the  deposit 


28  THE    WINKLES. 

had  been  made,  advised ;  and  she  never  inquired  further  in 
relation  to  the  safety  of  the  investment,  or  in  regard  to  the 
fluctuations  of  the  stocks.  The  investment  had  been  made 
when  the  stocks  were  fifty  per  cent,  below  par ;  and  they  had 
subsequently  declined  most  alarmingly,  without  causing  her  a 
painful  thought.  But  they  were  now  fully  at  par ;  that  is, 
worth  double  the  sum  she  had  paid — and  yet  she  did  not  seem 
to  be  aware  of  the  gain.  The  dividends  were  passed  to  her 
credit  in  the  bank,  and  she  drew  upon  them  without  number 
ing  her  checks,  or  keeping  any  account  of  the  balance  subject 
to  her  order.  She  relied  upon  the  annual  publication  of 
balances  which  the  law  required  the  banks  to  make,  to  ascer 
tain  in  an  indisputably  authentic  form,  the  exact  statement  of 
the  amount  of  funds  subject  to  her  demand  at  stated  periods. 
Such  was  her  peculiar  financial  system ;  and  the  most  acute 
banker  would  have  failed  in  any  attempt  to  convince  her  that 
her  income  might  be  materially  increased  by  the  adoption  of 
any  other. 

"  See  here,  Winkle  ! "  said  Parke,  "  are  we  not  in  the 
wrong  chamber  ?  This  looks  like  a  nursery,  or  a  museum." 

"  It  looks  like  aunt  Wilsome's  mind  precisely — but  I  will 
see  if  any  other  room  on  this  floor  is  in  a  better  condition. 
No  !  "  he  continued,  endeavoring  to  open  other  doors.  "  All 
locked.  Just  like  her.  She  won't  trust  us  in  any  other 
chamber  than  the  one  allotted  to  us.  Some  of  them  they  say 
have  not  been  entered  for  years  by  any  one  but  herself.  She 
creeps  about  alone  with  a  candle  in  her  hand  at  all  hours  of 
the  night.  So  say  the  servants,  who  have  watched  her.  But 
if  you  are  ready,  let  us  be  off." 

"How  does  that  look?"  demanded  Parke,  adjusting  his 
cravat  before  a  large  old  ebony-framed  glass. 

"  Quite  right.     Come." 

"  How  much  money  have  you,  Winkle  ?  You  know  I  told 
you  I  had  none." 

"  Let  me  see  what's  in  the  purse  my  aunt  threw  me.  First 
— a  penny." 

"  By  Jove,  a  penny !  Where  are  the  opera  tickets  and  the 
cigars  to  come  from  ?  " 

"  Stop !  Here's  a  quarter — and  a  number  of  three  cent 
pieces.  Ha  !  next  come  the  quarter  eagles — one,  two,  three, 
four,  five,  six !  That's  all." 

"  That  will  do." 


THE    HAPPIEST    OF    MEN.  29 

"  Jupiter  !  What's  this  in  the  other  end?  A  check — a 
check  for  one  hundred  dollars  !  " 

«  Good !  " 

"  It  is  good.  Payable  to  bearer.  Drawn  a  week  ago — 
look  at  the  date.  She's  forgotten  all  about  it?  " 

"  Will  you  draw  the  money  ?  " 

"If  we  need  it.  But  come.  We  must  give  the  girls  an 
airing.  There's  old  Snapper  gazing  up  for  us,  and  the  horses 
are  snorting  impatiently." 

The  young  bloods  descended  to  the  street,  and  were  soon 
sitting  in  the  coach  in  the  attitude  of  unfeigned  satisfaction. 

A  few  minutes  afterwards  the  young  gentlemen  were  enter 
ing  Mrs.  Nitre's  parlor.  They  found  themselves  rather  ab 
ruptly  in  the  presence  of  the  young  ladies,  and  were  joined  a 
moment  after  by  Mrs.  Nitre  and  the  merry-faced  doctor. 

"  We  came  to  propose "  said  Walter,  stammering  and 

hesitating,  after  the  ceremony  of  introducing  his  friend,  and 
laboring  under  some  degree  of  embarrassment,  notwithstand 
ing  his  predetermined  impudence,  or  boldness  ;  and  as  all  eyes 
were  now  turned  upon  him,  and  a  silence  prevailed,  he  found 
it  impossible  to  proceed. 

"  The  deuce  you  do  ! "  at  length  exclaimed  the  doctor, 
rising  comically.  "If  that  be  the  case,  Mrs.  Nitre,  should 
not  you  and  I  withdraw  ?  " 

"  Don't  attempt  to  be  witty,  doctor,"  replied  his  wife  ;  "  no 
one  is  amused  at  you ;  all  can  see  that  you  merely  affect  to 
be  serious." 

"  We  came  to  propose,"  continued  Walter,  blushing  in 

unison  with  the  girls,  "  to  the  ladies "  and  again  he 

paused. 

"  Of  course,  to  the  ladies,"  said  the  doctor,  "  who  else 
could  it  be  to  ?  " 

"To  Mrs.  Nitre,  and — "pursued  WT  alter,  forgetting  his 
previous  resolution  of  omitting  her  name,  but  aware  there 
would  not  be  room  for  five  in  the  carriage. 

"  Oho  !  "  cried  the  doctor,  "  then  it  must  be  a  proposal  of 
some  other  nature." 

"  If  such  a  thing  were  possible,  the  doctor  would  not  ob 
ject  to  see  me  proposed  for  and  taken  away,"  said  Mrs.  Nitre, 
who  was  one  of  the  few  dames  who  habitually  depreciate  their 
husbands  in  the  presence  of  their  guests,  without  being  aware 


30  THE   WINKLES. 

that  husband  and  wife  are  a  unit,  and  that  they  must  neces 
sarily  degrade  themselves  by  such  practices. 

"  I  mean  that  we  came  to  propose  a  drive  in  my  aunt's  car 
riage,  which  is  waiting  at  the  door,"  said  Walter,  now  quite 
recovered. 

"  And  to  slight  me — deliberately  to  cut  me,"  said  the  doctor, 
apparently  not  heeding  Mrs.  N.'s  allusion.  "  But  my  own 
carriage  will  be  at  the  door  in  a  few  minutes.  I  have  to  call 
at  the  Grirard  to  see  some  friends — the  Gaffs  of  New  York 
— and  Mrs.  Nitre  has  agreed  to  accompany  me." 

"  I  believe  I  won't  go,"  said  Mrs.  Nitre.  "  The  Graffs  are  not 
intimate  acquaintances  of  mine.  They  made  a  fortune  selling 
drugs  by  the  dose,  soda-water  by  the  glass,  tooth-brushes,  co 
logne,  etc." 

This  speech  was  made  to  young  Parke,  whose  family  was 
known  to  be  of  the  aristocratic  order. 

"  Then  I  need  not  delay.  I  will  excuse  you  on  the  plea  of 
company,"  said  Dr.  Nitre,  rather  gravely ;  "  but  I  hope,  my 
dear,  that  I  may  invite  them  to  tea  to-morrow,  and  that  you 
will  call  on  them  this  evening."  And  he  departed  without 
further  delay. 

"  No  doubt  the  vacation  is  a  carnival,"  said  Miss  Oakland, 
who  had  engaged  in  a  free  conversation  with  young  Parke,  and 
was  exerting  her  powers  of  fascination,  for  she  was  piqued  at 
Walter  for  having,  it  might  be  unconsciously,  surrendered  a 
beautiful  rose  to  Julia. 

"It  is  indeed.  And  we  endeavor  to  seize  the  opportunity 
to  reap  its  enjoyments.  Fortune  has  favored  me  to-day.  I 
came  alone  to  the  city,  and  in  a  melancholy  humor,  for  I  was 
out  of  money,  as  well  as  out  of  spirits,  and  almost  out  at  the 
elbows,  to  await  a  letter  from  home,  when  Winkle  espied  me. 
What  a  change  !  I  am  now  the  happiest  of  men !  " 

"  Men !  "  cried  Mrs.  Nitre,  placing  her  hand  on  the  youth's 
arm,  "you  must  first  get  into  the  senior  class,  my  dear  boy." 

"  But  the  sun  is  sinking,"  said  Walter,  "  and  the  carriage 
waits." 

"  There  is  room  for  only  four  in  the  carriage,"  said  Julia, 
looking  out  of  the  window. 

"  That's  awkward,"  said  Mrs.  Nitre.  "I  cannot  trust  the 
girls  alone  with  such  madcaps.  Remain  to  tea,  and  send  home 
the  carriage." 


THE    PAWNBROKER.  31 

"  Will  you  let  them  go  with  us  to  the  opera,  if  we  do  ?  " 
asked  Walter. 

"  Not  to-night." 

"  Why  not,  mamma  ?  "  asked  Julia. 

"  I  don't  go  to  such  places  often.  Our  rector  does  not  ap 
prove  of  it.  But  it  is  probable  the  Gaffs  may  be  there,  and 
then  my  husband  might  be  suspected  of  uttering  or  conniving 
at  a  falsehood."  Mrs.  Nitre,  although  she  habitually  strove 
to  mortify  the  doctor  when  in  his  presence,  was  remarkably  kind 
to  him  behind  his  back. 

"  Then  you  will  stay  ?  "  asked  Julia. 

"  I  sup "  began  Walter. 

"You  recollect  our  positive  engagement  ?"  said  George, 
quickly. 

"  Hem — yes !  I  came  near  forgetting  it.  I'm  very  sorry ; 
but  we  cannot  break  the  engagement,"  replied  Walter,  wonder 
ing  what  sort  of  a  story  George  would  invent. 

"So  you  are  engaged  for  other  company,  Mr.  Parke?" 
asked  Virginia. 

"  Yes,"  said  George,  without  hesitation.  "  Several  fellows 
from  Princeton  are  to  meet  us  there.  But  if  we  can  find  them 
before  the  doors  open,  perhaps  we  might  persuade  them  to 
come  here." 

"  Do  so,"  said  Mrs,  Nitre.     "  The  girls  will  expect  you." 

The  young  gentlemen  departed,  promising  if  possible  to  re 
turn  in  the  evening. 

"  What  fellows  from  Princeton  did  you  mean,  George  ?  " 
asked  Walter,  as  the  carriage  proceeded  slowly  towards  the 
theatre,  the  horses  being  now  quite  jaded,  and  altogether  tame 
enough. 

"  Ourselves,  of  course.  I  thought  we  were  to  have  a  lark 
to-night." 

"  Good !  And  I  was  not  well  pleased  with  Yirginia's  con 
duct.  She  had  nothing  to  say  to  me." 

"  Oh,  you  had  no  rose  for  her." 

"  Julia  snatched  it.  Ha !  ha !  That  was  the  reason. 
Here  we  are.  Drive  home,  Snapper,  and  you  need  not  return 
for  us.  Tell  cook  to  have  a  glorious  supper  in  readiness — 
and  take  a  bottle  or  so  into  the  kitchen  for  yourselves." 

The  young  gentlemen  soon  grew  weary  of  the  opera.  There 
was  not  a  fashionable  audience  present;  and  although  they 
might  be  able  to  translate  Italian,  they  could  not  interpret  it 


32  THE   WINKLES. 

as  it  was  uttered  in  song  on  the  stage,  and  hence  they  did  not 
find  themselves  so  pleasantly  entertained  as  they  had  antici 
pated.     At  the  end  of  the  first  act  they  abandoned  the  place. 

"  Back  to  Nitre's  ?  "  asked  George. 

"  No,"  said  Walter;  "  we're  on  a  lark." 

"  Where  shall  we  go  ?  " 

"  Let  me  think." 

"  To  Abraham  Laban's  !     What  say  you  ?  " 

"  The  Jew  pawnbroker's  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Why  ?     I  have  plenty  of  money." 

"  Why  ?  For  the  fun  of  the  thing.  Great  Nose  knows 
me." 

"  No  doubt  of  it." 

"  And  perhaps  he'll  permit  us  to  have  a  glance  at  his  cus 
tomers.  He's  fond  of  fun  himself  when  he  don't  lose  by  it. 
And  he's  rich,  too.  They  say  he  is  owner  of  fine  houses — has 
ships  at  the  wharf — gold  in  the  mines — manufactures  false 
dice — contracts  with  the  government — sues  the  insurance  com 
panies — is  a  politician — distils  brandy  from  rye.  and  lends 
money  under  three  balls.  At  certain  hours  he  may  be  found 
at  his  different  places  of  business,  and  I  have  reason  to  know 
this  is  his  night  for  the  three  balls.  Let  us  see  how  much  we 
can  raise  on  my  watch." 

"  No.  Let  me  try  my  diamond  pin.  I  can  redeem  it  to 
morrow.  The  less  he  advances,  the  less  will  be  the  cost  of  the 
fun." 

11  Agreed.  But  let  us  appear  to  be  in  a  d — 1  of  a  fix — 
most  distressingly  in  need  of  money.  That  will  sharpen  his 
cupidity,  as  my  books  say,  and  cause  the  interest  to  be  less, 
as  the  advance  will  certainly  be  small.  What  is  the  pin 
worth  ?  " 

"  It  cost  my  father,  I  have  heard  my  mother  say,  just  fifty 
dollars." 

"  We'll  see  what  he  says  of  it.  After  business,  if  he  drives 
a  good  bargain,  he  may  be  pleasant.  Come  on — it  is  near  at 
hand,  in  the  next  back  street." 

"  You  know  the  way  ?  " 

"  Yes.  He  once  sold  a  flute  of  mine  among  his  forfeited 
collaterals,  and  a  friend  bought  it  at  a  less  sum  than  Great 
Nose  had  advanced  me.  But  he  has  recovered  the  loss  since." 

They  had  now  arrived  at  the  place  of  entrance  under  thg 


THE    THREE   BALLS.  33 

balls  glittering  in  the  moonlight.  Young  Parke  knew  the  sig 
nal  and  soon  obtained  admittance. 

"  Ah  !  Is  it  you  ?  I'm  glad  to  see  you,  Mr.  Parke,  and 
your  friend.  Come  back  into  my  private  office,"  said  Abra 
ham,  who  was  an  American  Israelite,  leading  the  young  gen 
tlemen  into  a  small,  well  lighted  apartment,  which  he  usually 
occupied  himself,  and  whence  he  disputed  with  his  customers 
through  a  square  opening  communicating  with  a  stall  in  the 
front  room. 

"  Any  customers  in  front  ?  "  asked  Parke,  after  introducing 
Winkle  as  his  friend,  without  naming  him. 

"  Not  now.  There  may  be,  soon.  Many  of  the  fashiona 
bles  are  making  arrangements  to  spend  a  few  weeks  at  the 
watering-places.  I  have  had  two  curious  applicants  to-night 
whom  you  should  have  seen  or  heard.  It  would  have  been  a 
lesson  for  you." 

"Tell  us  about  them,  Abraham." 

"  Perhaps  I  will,  after  business.  What  have  you  brought 
me  this  time  ?  Not  the  old  flute,  I  hope.  That  was  a  smart 
trick.  I  won't  advance  so  much  next  time.  I  was  too  liberal. 
What  do  you  want  now  ?  " 

"  Nothing  myself.  I'm  rich  since  I  made  that  fortune  out 
of  you.  My  friend  here  wants  your  assistance." 

"  I  hope  I  shall  have  the  pleasure  of  serving  him.  I  will 
advance  him  any  amount  on  his  simple  bond." 

"  That  is  liberal,"  said  George ;  "  you  never  made  me  any 
such  generous  offer." 

"  Your  parents  live  too  far  away.  Besides,  I  did  not  know 
you  had  any  rich  bachelor  uncles  and  maiden  aunts." 

"  Do  you  suppose  I  have  any  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha !  You  know  me — every  body  knows  the  Jew, 
Abraham  Laban ;  and  why  should  not  Abraham  know  every 
body  ?  Tell  me  that,  Mr.  Walter  Winkle." 

"I  see  no  reason  why  he  should  not.  You  certainly  know 
me.  Well,  I  am  in  great  distress  for  a  little  ready  cash ;  and  I 
fear  to  forfeit  the  good  opinion  of  my  rich  relatives  by  apply 
ing  to  them  just  at  this  particular  time.  Besides,  my  necessi 
ty  is  most  urgent,  and  will  not  admit  of  delay.  It  is  to  com 
pound  a  little  scandalous  affair  on  my  hands,  which  would  rum 
me  if  made  known." 

"  Aha !  Pretty  scrapes  you  pretty  young  gentlemen  run 
your  necks  into.  But  you  must  pay  for  them." 


34  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I  am  willing  to  pay.  I  have  this  diamond  pin,  worth, 
you  know,  two  hundred  dollars " 

"  Two  hundred  cents  !  "  said  the  Jew.  "  That  would  te 
nearer  the  mark." 

"  Oh,  I  want  only  fifty  dollars " 

"  Fifty  dollars !  Why  Mr.  Parke,  some  one  worse  than 
any  Jew  has  been  skinning  your  friend,  if  he  paid  any  such 
price  as  he  says  this  thing  is  worth." 

"  What  do  you  say  it  is  worth  ?  "  demanded  Walter. 

"  Pooh  !  some  twenty  dollars,  I  suppose,  if  some  dandy 
had  his  heart  fixed  on  it.  Fifteen  is  as  much  as  I  can 
venture." 

"  Two  hundred  down  to  fifteen  !  "  said  Walter.  "  What 
a  fall !  Well,  my  countryman,  have  your  own  way.  Launch 
forth  the  monish  !  " 

"  Here !  But,  young  man,  I  have  my  doubts  about  the 
truth  of  your  tale.  I  am  too  much  accustomed  to  the 
symptoms  and  aspects  of  real  distress  to  be  easily  deceived. 
Yet  I  confess  I  do  not  understand  your  motive." 

"  Is  it  necessary  you  should  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  No — not  in  matters  of  business ;  but  merely  for  my  own 
satisfaction.  Every  one  knows  my  motive." 

"  Yes.     The  balls  declare  it." 

"  And  somehow  I  find  out  the  secrets  of  my  customers,  if 
they  don't  choose  to  reveal  them  themselves.  I  should  not 
be  surprised  if  you  came  here  purely  for  amusement.  Confess 
— and  you  shall  be  entertained." 

<;  Here's  your  money.  My  pin  !  But  to  convince  you  of 
my  candor  now,  see  this  check.  Cash  it  for  me  on  your  own 
terms." 

'  "  Good.  Here  are  ten  eagles,  that  I  borrowed  from  the 
banker  this  morning — or  rather  received  them  at  the  so 
licitation  of  one  of  the  officers,  the  stockholders  being  willing 
to  share  the  gains  above  the  usual  interest." 

"  Now  tell  us  about  the  customers." 

"  Listen,  and  remember.  The  first  was  a  clergyman.  A 
Christian  seeking  aid  from  a  Jew !  " 

"  But  not  a  Dives,  petitioning  father  Abraham "  said 
Walter. 

"  No.  And  yet  he  has  had  his  good  things  in  this 
world.  He  came  enveloped  in  a  cloak — warm  as  the  weather 
is — which  I  soon  caused  him  to  throw  aside.  I  do  not  like 


ANOTHER   VISITOR.  35 

disguises — from  myself.  He  confessed  all.  He  has  enjoyed 
the  reputation  of  being  the  possessor  of  wealth  in  Louisiana, 
— has  preached  in  the  fine  churches — and  finally  captivated 
the  heart  of  a  young  widow  of  two  months'  standing " 

"  Two  months'  standing?  " 

"  The  grass  has  not  yet  grown  over  the  grave  of  her  de 
ceased  husband.  She,  too,  is  regarded  as  a  fortune.  Well, 
the  lover  desired  a  sum  to  keep  up  appearances  ten  months 
more,  until  the  -  expiration  of  the  decent  term  of  mourning. 
He  offered  me  fifty  per  cent — — " 

"  And  you  agreed  to  it,  of  course,"  said  Parke. 

<{  I  did  no  such  thing !  " 

"  And  after  hearing  his  distressful  tale  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  You  shall  know  all,  and  then  decide.  No  offer  he  could 
make  would  avail,  and  so  I  dismissed  him.  The  next  visitor 
was  a  beautiful  young  lady,  in  deep  mourning " 

"  In  mourning  !  "  cried  both  the  young  gentlemen. 

"  In  deep  mourning — for  she  was  the  widow " 

"  The  widow ! " 

"  Yes,  the  widow ;  and  she  was  very  properly  in  mourning. 
But  the  veil  was  lifted  for  me.  She  confessed  what  I  already 
knew  very  well,  that  her  late  husband  died  insolvent.  And 
then  she  spoke  of  the  great  fortune  of  her  wooer — the  clergy 
man — and  said  if  she  could  only  borrow  from  me  the  means 
of  meeting  the  demands  of  creditors  until  the  celebration  of 
her  nuptials,  she  would  then  be  enabled  to.  pay  me  mu 
nificently." 

"  Is  this  romance  or  reality  ?  "  asked  Walter,  gravely. 

"  It  is  truth.  I  know  the  widow  could  not  be  deprived  of 
her  dower.  Her  husband  possessed  much  real  estate,  although 
he  died  insolvent.  I  told  her  she  would  have  suificient 
fortune  for  a  comfortable  support,  and  advised  her  not  to  seek 
to  avoid  an  exposure  of  her  husband's  affairs.  I  then  told 
her  all  I  knew  of  her  lover,  the  nature  of  his  application  to  me, 
and  of  his  design  upon  her  supposed  large  fortune." 

"  What  did  she  say  to  that  ?  "  asked  Parke.     • 

"  Not  what  you  would  suppose.  Her  heart  had  not  been 
engaged  in  the  matter  at  all.  As  a  clear-headed,  cool,  calcu 
lating  woman  of  the  world,  she  merely  laughed  at  his  im 
pudence  and  hypocrisy ;  lamented  her  own  want  of  discern 
ment  ;  and  then  calmly  renounced  him  for  ever.  No  doubt 
she  will  ensnare  a  rich  beau  before  the  end  of  the  year,  and 


36  THE   WINKLES.  - 

then  she  will  remember  the  Jew.  Be  silent !  I  hear  the 
tinkle  of  another  visitor." 

This  visitor,  when  admitted  by  the  girl  who  answered  the 
bell,  did  not  proceed  at  once  to  the  stall  of  communication ; 
but  strode  backwards  and  forwards  under  the  small  lamp  that 
dimly  illuminated  the  dreary  room.  And  as  he  promenaded 
words  were  uttered  in  his  soliloquy,  not  comprehended  by 
the  Jew. 

"  He's  talking  Latin  !  "  said  Walter,  in  a'low  tone. 

"  Greek  too  !  "  responded  Parke. 

"  Greek  and  Latin  !  Who  can  it  be  ?  Let's  have  a  peep 
at  him." 

They  beheld  a  thin  man  of  medium  height,  with  a  black 
frock  coat  buttoned  up  to  the  chin.  His  face  was  very  pale, 
and  classically  handsome.  His  forehead,  especially,  was  a 
noble  one,  fair,  round,  and  expansive.  His  age  might  be  five 
and  thirty.  At  length  he  approached  the  pawnbroker's  cell. 

"  I  want  money,"  said  he.  "  My  name  is  Pollen.  Per 
haps  you  have  heard  it." 

"  Yes,  I  have  heard  it — and  so  has  every  body,  I 
suppose." 

"  Is  it  good  ?  " 

"  Good  1  Yes,  a  very  good  one,  as  a  poet.  And  it  will 
be  famous ;  for  the  British  reviewers  say  you  are  a  man  of 
genius." 

"  If  it  be  good,  then,  how  much  is  it  good  for  ?  " 

"  How  much  money  ?  That's  a  different  matter.  I  deal 
in  dollars  and  cents,  and  tangible  valuables.  The  commodi 
ties  of  fame  and  genius,  and  all  such  fanciful  things,  may  be 
esteemed  by  those  who  traffic  in  such  articles,  but  I  am  not 
one  of  them.  I  want  that  which  I  can  see,  feel,  taste,  barter, 
exchange,  for  my  money." 

"  Would  you  not  like  to  have  your  name  mentioned  in  the 
biography  of  a  man  of  genius,  as  a  generous  benefactor  ?  " 

"  No  !     What  good  would  it  do  me  when  dead?  " 

"  If  you  did  not  survive  to  enjoy  it,  would  it  not  be  a 
credit  to  your  despised  tribe  ?  " 

"  No.  Rather  a  curse.  Men  of  genius,  lacking  common 
sense,  improvident  and  poor,  would  be  always  wearying  them 
with  their  importunities,  as  you  are  now  wearying  me." 

"  Have  you  no  feeling  for  men  of  genius  in  distress  ?  I 
am  in  distress ;  and  you  say  I  have  genius." 


THE   POEM.  37 

"  I  attend  to  my  business.  This  is  my  place  of  business. 
I  pursue  my  business  to  amass  riches.  You  come  to  me  and 
speak  of  genius,  of  feeling,  and  such  nonsense.  If  I  can 
make  money  by  dealing  with  you,  well ;  if  not,  leave  me." 

"  Enough.  You  can,  perhaps,  make  money  by  the  oper 
ation.  Here  is  a  short  poem — one  of  my  best.  I  have  been 
paid  fifty  dollars  for  one  not  better  nor  longer.  Take  it,  and 
give  me  forty  dollars." 

"No." 

"  Thirty." 

"  No." 

"  Twenty." 

"  No." 

•  Ten." 

«  No." 

"  One  dollar  !  " 

"  Let  me  see  it." 

"  Here  it  is." 

"  Read  it,  young  gentleman,"  whispered  the  Jew,  placing 
the  sheet  in  Parke's  hand,  "  and  let  me  have  your  opinion. 
If  it  is  good,  I  know  an  editor  who  will  buy  it." 

c- 1  sell  my  name  with  it,"  said  the  poet — "  for  I  must  eat 
— and  that  you  know  is  not  unknown." 

"  Good  !  "  cried  George. 

"  Glorious  !  "  cried  Walter. 

"  Who  says  so  ?  You  have  company,  then  ?  Bribe  them 
to  be  silent,  or  this  interview  may  be  bruited  over  the  world. 
But  they  are  critics.  I  shall  raise  the  price,  Shylock. 
Beware !  Five  dollars  is  the  very  least  I  will  take  for  my 
poem." 

"  If  the  publishers  have  paid  as  high  as  fifty  dollars,  why 
did  you  not  apply  to  them?  " 

"  I  did.  I  came  from  one  of  them  directly  to  you. 
Happy  thought ! " 

"  Was  it  approved  ?  " 

K  Yes.  But  unfortunately  I  was  something  in  arrears  for 
former  advances,  and  desired  to  obtain  the  cash  for  this  poem. 
But  they  wanted  it  in  fulfilment  of  an  engagement.  I 
promised  others,  but  insisted  on  having  the  price  of  the 
present  production,  to  answer  my  immediate  necessities. 
They  would  not  believe  me,  which  is  a  provocative  of  delin 
quency.  But  I  will  fulfil  all  my  engagements.  Do  you  buy 


38  THE   WINKLES. 

it,  and  I  will  dedicate  it  to  you  for  a  certain  consideration, 
received  in  advance " 

"  Aha  !  Now  you  are  the  man  of  business.  See  now,  if  I 
was  not  right  awhile  ago." 

"  Very  right.  What  shall  the  dedication  be  worth  ?  I 
must  know  beforehand.  A  friend  once  dedicated  to  a  rich 
man,  and  did  not  receive,  in  return,  so  much  as  an  acknowl 
edgment  of  the  compliment.  Business  men  must  be  dealt  with 
in  a  business-like  manner.  Men  of  great  hearts  in  a  noble 
manner.  Asses  in  an  asinine  manner." 

"  How  will  you  classify  me  ?  " 

"  As  you  may  deserve." 

"  I  will  give  you  five  dollars  for  the  poem." 

"  Good  !  I  shall  eat  again,  and  then  sleep." 

"The  dedication?" 

«  D the  dedication.  Your  name  shall  not  be  associ 
ated  with  mine." 

"  Not  on  the  same  bond,  truly.  But  mine  would  bring  the 
most  money." 

"  The  most  filth — dust,  dust,  dust — what  is  money,  but  so 
much  of  the  dross  of  the  earth,  whilst  my  coinage  is  inde 
structible  ! " 

"  I  will  not  give  you  five  dollars  for  the  poem." 

"  Then  pass  it  back." 

"  I'll  give  you  ten  !  "  cried  Walter. 

"  Are  you  there,  young  Truepenny  ?  Come  forth.  You 
shall  have  it,  and  share  a  jovial  bottle  with  me  besides.  Come 
forth." 

The  young  gentlemen  joined  him  immediately,  notwith 
standing  the  attempts  of  the  Jew  to  the  contrary,  and  the 
three  sallied  forth  together.  The  name  of  the  poet,  Harold 
Pollen,  was  familiar  to  the  young  men,  and  that  of  Winkle 
was  not  unknown  to  the  poet,  for  he  had  once  been  an  invited 
guest  at  Miss  Wilsome's  mansion,  and  ha**!  played  whist  with 
her.  A  few  moments  sufficed  for  introduction,  and  then  it 
was  agreed  they  should  immediately  proceed  together  to  the 
"  Winkle  Mansion,"  as  it  was  called. 


NINE   AT   SUPPEK.  39 


CHAPTER    IV. 

NINE    AT    STJPPEE— STAR-GAZING— NOCTURNAL     MISTAKES— SHOOT 
ING  STARS. 

WHEN  the  young  gentlemen  entered  the  "  Winkle  Mansion," 
they  found  a  sumptuous  repast  awaiting  them ;  and  as  the 
poet  had  fasted  long,  and  intimated  that  he  was  annoyed  by 
an  intolerable  thirst,  not  many  words  were  spoken  until  several 
courses  had  vanished,  and  after  the  decapitation  of  the  second 
bottle. 

"  Winkle,"  at  length  said  the  poet,  "  you  know  of  course 
who  it  is  you  are  entertaining  in  this  princely  manner." 

"  Certainly— the  author  of  «  The  Treasure,'  <  The  Steed 
of  the  Clouds,"  and  <  The  Rook,'— a  x>oet,  who " 

"  A  vagabond  !  " 

"  A  genius  !  "  said  Parke. 

"  A  vagabond,"  repeated  Pollen. 

"  You  seem  to  be  minus  the  usual  quantum  of  linen  about 
the  neck,"  said  Walter,  scrutinizing  his  guest.  "Why  is 
your  coat  buttoned  up  to  your  chin  in  such  suffocatingly  hot 
weather  ?  " 

"  Because  I  have  neither  vest  nor  shirt  under  it." 

"  Is  it  possible  ?"  cried  the  young  men  together,  really 
shocked  at  such  an  announcement. 

"  I  could  give  you  further  demonstration  by  unbuttoning 
my  coat.  I  suppose  you  have  some  linen  in  the  house,  and 
will  clothe  the  poet  whom  you  have  so  sumptuously  feasted." 

Walter  immediately  conducted  his  guest  to  the  chamber 
above,  where  he  was  speedily  arrayed  in  a  snowy  nether  gar 
ment,  and  accommodated  with  a  seasonable  vest. 

"  I  did  not  say  I  was  a  vagabond,"  continued  Pollen,  on 
resuming  his  seat  at  the  round  table  in  the  dining-room, 
"  because  of  the  deficiency  in  my  wardrobe,  and  for  the  piti 
ful  purpose  of  obtaining  the  loan  of  a  shirt ;  but  because  I 
write  tales  and  verses,  and  am  poor — because  I  forfeited  an 
estate  by  refusing  to  flatter  a  woman  I  disliked — because  I 
won't  cheat  and  steal " 

"  That's  a  strange  reason,"  interrupted  Parke. 

"  It  is  a  strange  world.     Let  me  whisper  a  secret  in  your 


40  THE   WINKLES. 

ear — and  mind,  you  are  not  to  betray  your  author.  Will 
you  both  promise,  upon  your  honor,  not  to  betray  me  ?  " 

"  Both.     Upon  honor." 

"  Then  listen  !  "  said  the  poet,  in  a  hoarse  whisper,  while 
his  face  assumed  a  paler  hue  than  usual :  "  All  very  rich  men, 
who  have  made  their  own  fortunes,  are  rogues  and  rascals." 

"  I  have  heard  that  before,"  said  Walter ;  "  but  I  cannot 
believe  it." 

"  No  doubt  some  of  my  friends  have  whispered  it  about 
the  world,"  said  Pollen.  "  It  is  true,  though,  and  you  may 
believe  it.  But  I  have  another  secret,  which  I  am  sure  you 
have  never  heard.  The  vagabond  is  quite  as  happy  as  the 
rich  man.  The  proof  ?  I  am  the  vagabond,  and  the  hunch- 
nosed  Jew  is  the  rich  man.  Well,  suppose  Abraham  sleeps 
some  eight  hours  in  the  twenty-four.  His  dreams  are  filled 
with  conflagrations,  bankruptcies,  robberies ;  visions  of  the 
broken-hearted  widows  and  orphans  he  has  despoiled ;  arrests 
for  crimes  long  forgotten  by  all  but  himself;  prisons  and 
compulsory  restitutions.  Then  we  may  estimate  some  four 
hours  of  the  day  devoted  to  fearful  anticipations,  to  threats 
of  enemies,  reproaches  of  his  victims,  and  dread  of  detection. 
Thus  half  of  his  life  is  miserable." 

"  Now,  yours?"  said  Walter. 

"  My  dreams — when  sober — are  blissful.  I  am  the  pos 
sessor  of  illimitable  wealth,  without  a  pang  of  remorse,  for  no 
one  has  been  victimized  in  the  process  of  its  acquisition. 
With  boundless  generosity,  I  enjoy  the  luxury  of  bestowing 
benefits  on  the  deserving  and  needy.  The  oppressor  scowls, 
the  usurer  gnashes  his  teeth  at  me ;  but  the  good  and  the 
humble  bless  my  name.  What  felicity  !  I  mount  into  an  em 
pyreal  atmosphere — become  dephlogisticated " 

"  And  metaphysical,"  said  Walter.  "  But  we  are  in  this 
mundane  region  now,  Pollen,  with  tangible  objects  before 
us." 

"  Very  true,  and  I  will  descend  to  them.  But  you  must 
admit  I  have  demonstrated  that  without  a  dime  in  my  pocket 
— I  lie,  I  have  an  eagle — I  may  enjoy  more  hours  of  happi 
ness  than  the  rich  Abraham." 

"  When  you  are  quite  sober,"  said  Parke,  sipping  his  wine, 
"  and  in  your  dreams." 

"  Keep  sober  !  "  cried  a  voice,  from  the  portico  in  the 
yard. 


THE  MONKEY'S  LAST  BITE.  41 

"  Who  said  that  ?  "  cried  Parke,  stepping  to  the  open  win 
dow  and  looking  out  among  the  vines,  where  all  was  silent 
now,  and  lonely  in  the  moonlight. 

"  A  mere  echo,"  said  the  poet,  when  the  young  man  re 
sumed  his  seat. 

"  It  sounded  very  much  like  my  aunt's  voice,"  said  Wal 
ter.  "  If  she  were  to  come  upon  us,  we  should  be  given  into 
the  custody  of  the  watchman." 

"  Trumps  !  Down  with  jour  trumps  !  "  said  the  voice. 

"  My  aunt !     Let  us  escape  !  "  said  Walter,  leaping  up. 

"  Sit  still.  Be  calm,"  said  the  poet.  "  It  is  not  her  voice. 
I  believe  in  the  existence  of  ghosts." 

"  Feathered  ones,"  said  Parke,  standing  again  at  the  open 
window. 

"  The  parrot !  "  exclaimed  Walter,  resuming  his  seat. 

"  An  imitator.  He  merely  echoes  the  sounds  he  hears. 
Hence  the  resemblance  of  your  aunt's  voice.  They  call  me 
an  imitator  of  Coleridge  and  others,  but  " 

"  No  metaphysics,"  said  Parke. 

"  The  d 1,"  exclaimed  Pollen,  rising  abruptly. 

"  What's  the  matter,  now  ?  "  demanded  Walter. 

"  I'm  bitten.     A  mad  dog  !  See — my  finger  is  bleeding." 

"  I  hear  the  rattling  of  a  chain  under  the  table."  said 
Parke.  "  I  thought  I  saw  something  glide  in  from  yonder 
door  as  I  returned  from  the  window." 

"  Sit  still ! "  said  Walter.  "  Move  not  a  muscle  ;  a  mos 
quito  could  not  have  produced  such  a  wound." 

"  Nor  a  cobra  di  capello,"  said  Pollen. 

"  It  is  biting  my  toe ! "  said  Parker,  turning  pale,  and 
kicking  the  assailing  object  violently  with  his  heel. 

They  sprang  up  in  great  alarm,  and  discovered,  in  amaze 
ment,  Miss  Wilsome's  great  monkey  in  the  last  convulsive 
struggles  of  death.  Parke  had  broken  its  neck. 

"  Monkeys  and  parrots  !  "  said  Pollen  ;  "  abominations  to 
man — fit  companions  for  old  maids." 

"  My  aunt  will  lament  over  Jocko  as  she  would  over  a 
brother.  Mr.  Roland  accidentally  killed  her  cat,  and  she  has 
never  forgiven  him.  How  shall  I  avoid  her  anger  ?  She'll 
disinherit  me." 

"  Leave  it  to  me,"  said  Pollen,  dragging  forth  the  dead 
animal  by  its  chain,  which  was  of  silver.  "  I  hope  all  the  ser 
vants  are  asleep." 


42  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Are  you  asleep,  Biddy  ?  "  asked  Walter,  turning  towards 
the  door  leading  into  the  kitchen. 

"  Iss7  sir,"  was  the  prompt  response  of  the  watching  girl. 

"  I  understand  her,"  said  Walter,  seeing  the  astonishment 
of  his  companions.  "  She  means  that  we  need  not  fear  her." 

"  Then  lead  the  way  to  the  roof  of  the  portico,"  said  the 
poet,  "  and  get  me  a  nail  and  hammer.  I  will  suspend  him 
from  the  eaves,  and  it  will  be  a  case  of  accidental  strangula 
tion." 

"  Good  !  "  cried  Walter  ;  "  or,  what  is  infinitely  better,  a 
case  of  suicide — despair  on  being  abandoned  by  his  beloved 
mistress.  Excellent !  " 

"  I  could  tell  you  some  singular  freaks  of  monkeys,"  said 
Pollen ;  "  but  let  us  first  hang  up  this  gentleman." 

The  work  was  soon  accomplished,  but  not  without  danger 
to  the  young  gentlemen,  for  their  vision  was  becoming  con 
fused,  and  their  steps  unsteady  under  the  influence  of  their 
excessive  libations. 

The  three  jovial  comrades  then  sallied  forth  into  the  street, 
their  arms  interlocked,  and  humming  snatches  from  the  opera 
in  the  moonlight. 

"  Be  cautious,  young  gentlemen  !  "  said  a  watchman,  meet 
ing  them. 

"Why?  "asked  Pollen. 

"  Are  you  a  pick-pocket  ?  "  asked  Parke. 

"  I  shall  keep  my  eye  on  you,"  replied  the  watchman. 

"  And  if  you  do,"  said  Walter,  "  you  will  not  see  straight 
again  during  the  remainder  of  your  life,  for  I  believe  there  is 
an  obliquity  in  our  course." 

"  Yes,"  said  Parke ;  "  and  every  five  minutes  brings  us 
against  a  wall,  or  over  the  curb." 

"  My  thoughts  are  mounting  upward,"  said  Pollen — "  earth 
vanishes  from  my  vision.  I  see  meteors  and  coruscations. 
They  are  the  flashy  novelists  and  poets  forced  into  being  by  par 
tial  critics.  They  fill  the  atmosphere — they  go  out  like  rockets 
— but  the  blue  vault  above  is  gemmed  by  illuminating  stars 
that  will  remain  for  ever.  The  vagabond  Pollen — sneered  at 
by  splay-footed  English  compilers,  frowned  upon  by  Scotch 
librarians,  slighted  by  publishers,  slandered  by  his  rivals — 
will  take  his  place  among  them,  and  cast  his  rays  upon  the 
world  !  " 

"  What  is  that,  poetry  or  prophecy  ?  "  asked  Parke. 


NIGHT    HAWKS.  43 

"  Irreverent  interlocutor  !  It  is  true,  lamentably,  a  pro 
phet  is  without  honor  in  his  own  country.  I  will  reap  the 
honors  bestowed  in  other  countries." 

"  But  will  you  live  to  enjoy  them  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  No,  I  suppose  not ;  therefore  I  enjoy  them  now — in 
anticipation.  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  I  wonder  if  Abraham  has  any 
such  enjoyment  ?  " 

"  Halt !  Steady  !  "  said  Parker,  as  the  three  companions 
were  confronted  by  several  gaudily-dressed  persons  who  ran 
against  them. 

"  Who  are  you  ?  "   demanded  Pollen. 

"  Fairies,"  said  one  of  them.  "  We  heard  you  talking  of 
the  sky  and  the  stars." 

"  Night  hawks,  you  mean.  Avaunt !  Off,  I  say  !  "  con 
tinued  Pollen,  endeavoring  to  thrust  away  the  one  that  clung 
to  him.  "  Begone  to  your  dripping  caves ;  we  are  not  the 
prey  you  seek.  The  shirt  I  wear  is  borrowed " 

"  But  your  breath  smells  of  good  wine." 

11  Do  you  covet  it  ?  Off,  I  say !  My  sword !  Oh,  that  I 
had  one  !  Boys,  she  has  torn  my  bosom." 

"  What  now  ?  "  demanded  the  watchman,  appearing  before 
them.  "  I  said  I'd  keep  an  eye  on  you  !  " 

"  You  neglect  your  duty,  sir  ! "  said  Walter.  "  While 
you  are  watching  us,  who  are  gentlemen  and  peaceable,  you 
permit  us  to  be  beset  by  these " 

"  What  ?  "  demanded  one  of  the  strangers. 

"  Street  harpies." 

"  That  will  not  do,"  was  replied. 

Pollen  turned  aside  with  his  companions,  leaving  the 
guardian  of  the  night  engaged  in  amicable  converse  with  the 
harpies.  The  poet  had  a  well-founded  dread  of  the  watchman's 
rattle,  for  he  had  been  more  than  once  an  involuntary  lodger 
at  the  depot  of  nocturnal  offenders. 

And  Walter  and  Parke,  not  relishing  the  idea  of  an  ad 
venture  with  the  police,  to  which  they  were  conscious  of  being 
liable,  from  the  excited  condition  of  their  intellects,  agreed  to 
return  to  the  mansion,  and  finish  the  night  under  a  friendly 
shelter,  and  where  the^y  could  not  be  subjected  to  any  unplea 
sant  interruptions. 

By  means  of  a  night-key,  which  Walter  had  taken  the 
precaution  to  furnish  himself  with,  thp  door  was  opened  and 


44  THE    WINKLES. 

they  entered  in  triumph.  But  an  unforeseen  disappointment 
awaited  them. 

"  What  does  this  mean  ?  "  exclaimed  they  upon  closing  the 
door,  and  finding  themselves  in  impenetrable  darkness. 

"  Biddy  !  Where  are  you  ?  Why  did  you  put  out  the 
lights  ?  "  cried  Walter,  groping  his  way  through  the  hall. 
"  Softly,  gentlemen,"  said  he ;  "  let  us  get  back  into  the 
dining-room.  Hold  eaoh  other's  skirts,  and  proceed  in  Indian 
file." 

"  Out  here,  too,"  said  Parker,  when  they  reached  the 
dining-room.  "  Who  has  matches  ?  " 

"  Not  I,"  said  Walter,  "  nor  do  I  know  where  to  find 
them.  Let  us  go  up  stairs  and  rouse  Biddy.  How  dark  !" 
he  continued,  as  they  ascended  the  stairs,  feeling  their  way. 

"  Not  a  star  blinks  upon  us,"  said  Pollen. 

"  Nor  a  meteor's  ineffectual  fire,"  said  Parker. 

After  asaending  several  flights  of  stairs,  the  party  paused 
and  felt  for  the  chamber  doors,  and  not  knowing  which  might 
be  occupied  by  the  housemaid. 

"  I  doubt  if  Biddy  is  here,"  said  Walter,  in  a  whisper. 
"  My  aunt,  I  suspect,  makes  her  sleep  in  the  attic." 

"  Where  poverty-stricken  poets  repose,"  said  Pollen. 

"  But  the  door  opens,"  said  Walter.  "  If  we  find  beds 
let  us  lie  down  till  morning  lights  the  orient,  and  not  trouble 
the  servants." 

"  Agreed  !  "  was  the  response  of  the  others. 

In  a  short  time  two  beds  were  found ;  but  before  our  ad 
venturers  had  begun  to  undress  themselves,  their  ears  were 
saluted  by  frightful  cries  and  screams. 

"  Who  can  they  be  ?  "  said  Walter.  "  Three  different 
voices,  and  all  females.  Biddy  ! " 

"  Emily !  " 

"  Clara  I  " 

"  Oh,  Mary— sister !     Thieves  !     Robbers  !  " 

"  Murder  !  " 

Such  were  the  cries  proceeding  in  quick  succession  from 
the  beds. 

"  Hold  fast  to  my  coat-tail,  Greorge,"  whispered  Walter, 
leading  the  way  out  into  the  passage.  "  We  are  in  the  wrong 
mansion  !  My  aunt's  night-key  fits  her  neighbor's  door  !  Let 
us  get  out  again  as  quickly  as  possible,  or  the  whole  neigh- 


WHAT    A    SCEAPE  !  45 

borhood  will  be  alarmed.    What  a  scrape  !   and  the  first  night, 
too !  " 

"  There  it  is  !  "  said  Pollen,  trembling  violently,  upon 
hearing  a  window  thrown  up,  and  vociferous  cries  for  the 
police.  And  the  next  moment  several  rattles  were  sprung, 
and  hoarse  voices  and  the  trampling  of  heavy  feet  could  be 
distinguished  in  the  street. 

11  What's  this  ?  "  asked  Walter,  pausing  in  his  retreat,  and 
finding  his  hand  resting  upon  a  round,  smooth  surface.  "  It 
is  warm  !  A  man's  bald  head,  by  Jupiter  !  " 

"  Have  mercy  upon  me  and  my  poor  daughters,"  said  the 
crouching  father  of  the  alarmed  family.  Walter  recognized 
the  voice  of  a  distinguished  professor,  the  occupant  of  the 
house  5  and  without  replying  he  passed  on,  followed  by  his 
companions,  clinging  to  each  other.  They  proceeded  beyond 
the  turning  which  would  have  conducted  them  down  stairs, 
and  wandered  into  the  rear  building,  where  they  confronted 
the  old  housekeeper  in  her  chemise.  She  fell  speechless  and 
fainting,  and  they  stumbled  over  her,  falling  in  a  heap  beyond. 
But  there  was  no  time  for  idle  delay.  The  police  had  burst 
open  the  front  door,  and  one  or  two  shots  from  revolvers  had 
already  been  fired  at  random  in  the  darkness. 

"  Here's  a  room  open  !  "  said  Walter,  with  his  hand  on  the 
latch  of  a  door  at  the  extreme  end  of  the  long  back  building. 

"  In  there  !  "  said  the  poet.  "  They  have  a  light,  and  are 
pursuing  us!"  They  entered,  and  found  the  apartment  un- 
carpeted,  and  could  distinguish  objects  in  it,  for  the  moon 
shone  through  the  window. 

"  A  store  room,  filled  with  barrels  !  "  said  Walter. 

"  And  here  are  empty  ones  on  this  side."  said  Parker. 

"  Let  us  hide  ourselves  in  them — quick ! "  said  Pollen. 
They  did  so,  and  ceased  to  speak  for  many  minutes,  while  the 
police  searched  in  other  places  for  the  burglars. 

"  We  have  escaped,  I  think,"  whispered  Walter. 

"  How  the  deuce  are  we  to  get  out  ? "  asked  Parker. 
"  Walter,  old  fellow,  you've  got  me  into  a  d — 1  of  a  scrape." 

"  It  is  an  adventure.  Consider  the  fun  !  Won't  we  laugh  ! 
But  my  aunt  must  never  hear  of  it.  I  can  venture  to  tell 
Virginia." 

"  Hist !  I  hear  them  yet ! n  said  Pollen.  "  If  we  are 
found  the  whole  world  will  know  it,  for  the  press  will  speak 
with  a  million  tongues." 


46  THE   WINKLES. 

"  If  they  catch  us,  Walter,"  said  Parke,  "  we  must  not 
lot  them  know  who  we  are.  I'll  be  John  Smith,  and  you 
John  Jones." 

"  But  /  am  known,"  said  the  poet,  "  and  shall  be  re 
cognized." 

"  True,"  said  Walter.  "  That  is  the  misery  of  being 
distinguished.  We  will  stand  by  each  other,  and  share  the 
same  fate.  Besides,  we  can  easily  escape  by  explaining 
frankly  the  mistake.  Perhaps  they  will  suppress  our  names. 
The  adventure  itself,  however,  must  be  related,  and  the  whole 
town  be  set  to  guessing.  Be  quiet.  I  hear  some  one  coming 
this  way.  Hush  !  you'll  betray  us  by  such  sneezing." 

'•  Curse  the  flour  !  I  can't  help  it !  "  said  Pollen,  who,  with 
Parke,  kept  up  an  incessant  sneezing,  the  sounds  of  which 
they  vainly  strove  to  suppress. 

"  Listen !  "  said  a  voice  in  the  passage.  u  Here  they 
are !  "  The  next  moment  the  door  was  thrown  open,  and  a 
flood  of  light  poured  in.  Three  or  four  policemen  entered, 
each  holding  a  revolver  in  the  left  hand  and  a  mace  in  the 
other.  They  were  followed  by  the  fat  professor,  holding  in  his 
hands,  which  trembled  very  much,  a  large  blunderbuss.  The 
rear  was  brought  up  by  several  servants  armed  with  pokers 
and  carving-knives ;  while  at  a  distance  behind,  might  have 
been  dimly  seen  the  old  housekeeper,  brandishing  a  long- 
handled  broom. 

"  I — I  don't  see  them  here,"  said  the  professor,  after 
glancing  his  eyes  fearfully  round  the  room,  and  breaking  the 
silence  that  had  ensued  after  the  party  had  entered.  "  But 
they  are  somewhere  on  the  premises,  and  one  of  them  put 
his  hand  on  my  head."  His  head  was  now  covered  with  a  silken 
cap. 

Pollen  sneezed  again  just  as  he  ceased  speaking. 

"  What  was  that  ?  Bless  my  life  !  "  exclaimed  the  pro 
fessor,  nimbly  springing  away  from  the  poet's  barrel  in  the 
vicinity  of  which  he  chanced  to  be  standing. 

"  They  are  in  the  barrels,"  said  the  leading  policeman  in 
a  loud  voice,  "  and  if  they  do  not  surrender,  we'll  send  a 
shower  of  balls  through  the  staves." 

"  We'll  surrender,  of  course,"  said  Pollen ;  "  we  are  with 
out  arms." 

"We'll  not  take  your  word  for  that,"  said  the  officer. 
"  Rise  and  show  yourselves." 


A   NIGHT   IN   PRISON.  47 

All  three  stood  up. 

"  Mercy  on  us  !  Oh  Lud  !  "  cried  the  cook  and  coachman, 
starting  back,  and  rushing  away  over  the  prostrate  form  of 
their  master,  who  nevertheless  rolled  and  scrambled  out  of 
the  room. 

Their  affright  was  natural  enough,  for  our  young  ad 
venturers  who  had  entered  the  barrels  in  black,  now  appeared 
in  white.  Even  their  faces  and  hands  were  thickly  covered 
with  flour. 

"  It  was  only  a  mistake,"  said  Walter.  "  We  came  hither 
with  no  evil  intent,  but  merely  entered  the  wrong  house  by 
mistake.  We  thought  we  were  in  the  adjoining  building,  and 
were  about  to  retire,  as  we  supposed,  to  our  beds " 

"  Here  are  their  hats,"  said  Mary,  the  oldest  of  the  pro 
fessor's  daughters,  now  venturing  to  join  the  policemen. 

"  That  story  won't  do,"  said  the  policeman,  bowing  to  the 
young  lady.  "  Are  there  any  more  of  you  in  the  other  bar 
rels  ?  "  he  continued,  addressing  the  supposed  robbers. 

"  No,"  said  Pollen.  "  But  my  friend's  story  is  true,  as 
you  will  ascertain." 

"  We'll  see.  No  more  words.  I  don't  want  to  hear  a 
syllable.  You  are  our  prisoners.  Seize  them,  men  j  "  They 
were  seized  and  conducted  out.  But  as  they  passed  through 
the  hall,  Mary  with  seeming  pity  gave  them  their  hats,  while 
the  other  sisters  standing  aloof,  gazed  at  them  without  symp 
toms  of  alarm. 

Unwilling  to  hear  any  thing  their  captives  might  have  to 
say  in  justification  of  their  conduct,  although  it  was  easily  per 
ceptible  from  their  manners  and  speeches  that  they  were  not 
common  burglars,  the  policemen  hurried  them  away  to  prison, 
and  locked  them  up  in  a  room  where  there  were  many  of 
fenders  who  had  been  taken  that  night. 

"  Angels  and  ministers  of  grace  defend  us  !  " 

was  the  exclamation  of  an  actor,  confined  with  the  rest, 
upon  seeing  our  adventurers  advance  after  the  heavy  door  had 
been  locked  upon  them. 

"  We  have  not  committed  any  crime,"  said  Parke,  glanc 
ing  round  at  the  staring  company  of  men  and  women ;  some 
seated  upon  benches,  and  others  lying  on  the  straw.  "  We 
were  merely  on  a  lark,  after  enjoying  our  champagne.  We  are 
gentlemen." 


48  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Not  gentlemen  ob  color  !  "  said  a  corpulent  Negro. 

This  was  followed  by  a  boisterous  explosion  of  laughter  at 
the  expense  of  the  young  men,  whose  whitened  exterior  alone 
was  sufficiently  provocative. 

"  I'm  on  the  bench,"  said  the  actor  (which  was  literally 
true),  '•  and  will  hear  your  cause." 

"  Agreed  !  "  cried  many  of  the  company,  crowding  round. 
"  Let  us  hear  what  they  have  to  say  for  themselves." 

"  '  Most  potent,  grave,  and  reverend  signiors,'  "  said  Pollen, 
standing  forth,  and  lifting  his  hand,  "  I  will,  with  your  per 
mission,  relate  the  manner  of  our  coming  hither." 

"  No  ! — Yes  ! — It  is  ! ';  cried  the  actor,  rushing  forward  and 
embracing  the  poet,  whom  he  had  recognized,  notwithstanding 
his  mask  of  .flour. 

"  Mum !  "  whispered  Pollen ;  "  don't  betray  me  to  this  vile 
herd."  The  poet  had  written  a  play  in  which  the  actor  had 
represented  one  of  the  characters. 

"  Proceed,"  said  the  judge,  resuming  his  seat,  amidst 
shouts  of  laughter  at  his  ludicrous  appearance,  having  robbed 
the  poet  of  half  his  flour. 

Then  Pollen,  concealing  names  and  localities,  succinctly 
narrated  the  adventures  of  his  companions  and  himself.  At 
the  conclusion,  the  company  pronounced  a  unanimous  acquittal, 
which  was  ratified  by  the  judge. 

"  And  now,  Mr.  Glass,"  said  Pollen,  addressing  the  actor, 
"  pray  tell  us  what  brought  you  here." 

"  Intoxication,  and  grief,  and  damning  a  watchman  who 
stared  at  me  impertinently.  You  smile  at  the  word  grief,  but 
I  am  serious,  as  these  tears — a  man's  tears — may  attest.  My 
Dilly — I  mean  my  daughter,  my  only  child — was  entrapped. 
and  taken  away  from  me  last  week.  Every  body  knows  how 
glorious  was  her  debut,  and  that  she  has  ever  since  been 
greeted  by  rapturous  applause  at  every  subsequent  appear 
ance.  She  was  rising,  I  declining.  But  just  when  I  had  reason 
to  believe  her  capable  of  relieving  me  of  a  portion  of  my  bur 
den  of  toil  and  care,  the  tempter  came  !  A  rich  man " 

"Ad rascal!" 

"  Most  assuredly  he  was,  my  friend,"  continued  the  actor. 
"  He  said  he  wished  to  rescue  her  from  the  dangers  of  the 
profession.  By  costly  presents,  and  seemingly  parental  af 
fection — for  he  was  twice  her  age — he  induced  her  to  desert 
the  stage,  upon  which  her  father  had  won  distinction,  and  to 
promise  him  to  abandon  it  for  ever.  Many  propositions  he 


QUEER    COMPANIONS.  49 

made  her ;  but  the  only  one  she  listened  to  was  that  she 
should,  under  an  assumed  name,  take  up  her  residence  in 
some  respectable  boarding-house  in  New  York,  until  her 
education  was  completed.  She  left  me  more  than  a  week  ago. 
A  letter  in  her  chamber  was  filled  with  pledges  of  filial  af 
fection,  and  resolutions  to  preserve  her  honor.  I  find  that 
my  salary  has  been  increased  through  some  mysterious  agency  ; 
but  my  happiness  is  all  gone.  I  drag  heavily  through  my 
part  every  night,  and  then  seek  to  drown  my  woe  in  deep 
libations.  I  lodge  here,  where  alone  I  find  honest  sympathy." 

"  It  is  a  rascally  world,  Mr.  Grlass — this  company  ex- 
cepted,"  said  Pollen.  "  Oh,  that  I  could  find  a  true  Ame 
rican  !  The  plays,  the  operas,  the  ballets,  are  usurped  by 
foreigners  !  Foreign  literature  alone  is  lauded — the  critics 
are  foreigners,  and  monarchical  and  aristocratic  modes  of 
thought,  feeling  and  action,  are  fermented  through  every  pore 
of  the  Republic.  We  get  our  manners  from  the  British,  our 
costumes  from  the  French,  our  wines  from  the  Germans,  our 
voters  from  Ireland  and  our  religion  from  Rome  !  Our  libra 
rians  are  Scotchmen.  They  not  only  exclude  my  books  from 
their  shelves,  but  laugh  in  my  face  whenever  I  look  over  their 
catalogues  !  " 

"  No  doubt  my  evil  tormentor  Ralph  is  of  foreign  extrac 
tion,"  said  Grlass. 

"  Ralph  ?  Did  you  say  Ralph  ?  "  asked  Walter,  roused 
from  an  apparent  lethargy  he  had  fallen  into.  Parke  was 
snoring  on  a  bench. 

«  Yes— Ralph  Roland  !  " 

"  I  know  him.  I  would  advise  you  to  get  your  daughter 
away  as  soon  as  possible." 

"  I  need  not  be  advised  !  I  want  only  the  means  of  doing 
so.  Thank  heaven,  I  have  cause  to  be  confident  of  the  im 
pregnability  of  my  daughter's  virtue  against  a  million  roues 
and  rakes  in  arms  !  That  alone  sustains  me." 

Towards  morning  all  the  inmates  became  silent.  Some 
of  them  brooded  over  their  troubles,  while  others  slept.  In 
the  morning,  a  confidential  note  written  by  Walter  to  Profes 
sor  Point,  caused  a  speedy  liberation  of  the  three  jovial  com 
panions.  Pollen  then  interested  himself  in  the  actor's  behalf, 
and  easily  succeeded  with  his  honor  the  mayor,  whose  sym 
pathy  with  the  sons  of  genius  or  of  Momus,  was  never  ap 
pealed  to  in  vain. 

3 


50  THE  WINKLES. 


CHAPTEK    Y. 


SECRET  PLOTTINGS— THE  FROG  HUNTER— MUSHROOMS  AND  PATTY 

PANS. 

WE  have  seen  that  the  appearance  of  Bill  Dizzle,  the  frog 
hunter,  at  Mrs.  Winkle's,  with  the  beautiful  tom-cat,  put  an 
immediate  end  to  the  game  of  whist.  Miss  Griselda  Gusset 
departed  immediately  after,  and  was  met  a  few  steps  from 
Mrs.  Winkle's  door  by  Ralph  Roland,  who  drew  her  arm 
through  his  and  led  her  into  the  obscurity  under  a  large  syca 
more-tree  that  stood  on  the  opposite  side  of  >the  street. 

"  Well,  Gusset,"  said  Roland,  in  a  low  voice,  pausing  under 
the  great  tree,  "  is  my  peace  truly  made  with  the  infernal  old 
maid  ?  Bill  Dizzle  says  so,  but  he  don't  know  always  what 
he  says." 

"  It  is,  indeed.  But  why  have  you  taken  such  pains  to 
please  her  ?  You  don't  wish  to  marry  her." 

"  Marry  her!  No — but  you  know  Lucy  is  the  most  charm 
ing  creature  in  the  world,  and  as  the  family  in  Babbleton  are 
likely  to  become  dependent  on  the  old  maid,  it  will  follow  that 
Miss  Wilsome's  caprices  shall  be  respected  by  her  niece." 

"  But,  really,  are  you  in  love  with  Lucy  ?  " 

"  Desperately !  " 

"And  Virginia?" 

"  Quite  as  deeply  !  " 

"  You  are  a  Turk  !     But  you  can't  marry  them  both." 

"  Leave  that  to  me.  I  believe  Virginia  Oakdale  is  in 
love  with  Walter,  and  Lucy  with  this  mysterious  Lowe — a 
fellow  low  enough,  I  doubt  not,  polished  as  he  is  in  manners. 
Now,  my  happiness  depends  upon  the  utter  frustration  of  the 
hopes  and  calculations  of  them  all — and  you  must  aid  me,  as 
I  am  aiding  you." 

"  What  have  you  done  for  me  ?  " 

"  I  rode  to  the  Emperor's  to-night  just  after  his  startling 
cannonading.  He  was  in  one  of  his  finest  humors  ;  and  when 
he  asked  if  all  the  good  people  of  Babbleton  were  not  abusing 
him,  I  told  him  you  were  delighted  with  his  military  celebra 
tions,  and  only  regretted  you  were  not  a  man  to  join  him,  and 


DESIGNS    UPON   THE    EMPEROR.  51 

share  the  pleasure  of  fighting  all  of  Bonaparte's  battles  over 
again." 

«  What  did  he  say  to  that?  " 

"  Gad,  he  said  you  were  the  only  national  woman  he 
knew,  and  that  if  he  were  ten  years  younger  he  would  marry 
you."' 

«  He  did  ?     Did  he  say  that  to  you  ?  " 

"  Certainly — and  he'll  say  the  same  thing  the  next  time 
he  meets  you,  if  his  sister  or  sister-in-law  be  not  present  to 
intimidate  .him.  It  is  singular  that  one  so  indomitable  and 
self-willed  in  the  field,  should  be  so  pusillanimous  and  impres 
sible  in  the  house,  when  plied  by  the  women." 

'•  But  what  did  you  say,  when  he  made  that  remark  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  told  him  that  he  was  quite  young  enough  ;  that 
no  doubt  you  would  accept  such  an  offer,  and  if  you  did,  he 
would  possess  a  meek  and  sympathizing  coadjutor  in  his 
wife." 

"  I  thank  you,  Mr.  Roland — and  I  will  assist  you  in  all 
your  innocent  love  schemes  to  the  utmost  of  my  poor 
ability." 

"  One  good  turn  deserves  another,  you  know  ;  and  I  rely 
upon  your  superior  understanding  to  find  out  something  about 
this  Mr.  Lowe,  which  may  be  of  service  to  me.  Oh,  I  forgot ! 
The  great  Napoleon,  learning  that  his  sister  has  arrived,  is  to 
make  amends  for  some  old  affront,  by  inviting  a  party  to  play 
whist  at  his  house.  I  have  arranged  it  so  that  you  shall  be 
there,  to  make  up  the  game.  I  detest  it  myself,  and  the  old 
gentleman  cannot  be  relied  upon.  So  I  fear  this  infernal 
Lowe  will  also  be  required." 

"  Miss  Wilsome  will  have  him  for  her  partner." 

"  I  feared  it.  I  might  get  Col.  Oakdale — but  his  hard 
swearing  and  sudden  impulses  are  not  to  be  trusted." 

"  How  would  old  Mr.  Dowley  answer  ?  " 

"  John  Dowley  ?  He  could  hardly  be  induced  to  ride 
within  a  mile  of  the  premises.  He  believes  old  Winkle  is 
mad,  and  should  be  confined.  If  the  old  maid  insists  upon 
having  Lowe,  she  cannot  be  baulked.  But  he  must  be  closely 
watched.  Good-night.  I  will  see  the  Emperor  in  the  morn 
ing,  and  cause  him  to  dwell  upon  the  idea  of  an  Empress.  I 
will  tender  him  my  carriage  to  send  for  the  ladies.  You  know 
it  requires  four  horses  to  drag  his.  There  will  be  seats  for 
four — and  you  must  contrive  to  occupy  one  of  them." 


52  THE    WINKLES. 

They  parted,  and  pursued  different  directions.  And  a 
third  person,  who  had  been  listening  in  an  arbor,  separated 
only  by  a  plank  fence  from  the  street,  glided  into  the  cottage 
to  which  the  garden  was  attached.  This  was  Lowe's  old 
housekeeper.  She  entered  the  young  man's  chamber,  as  she 
was  privileged  to  do  at  all  times,  without  ceremony.  Her 
master  was  sitting  at  a  table  covered  with  books  and  papers, 
where  he  had  been  writing.  Seeing  by  the  excited  features  of 
his  old  servant  that  something  out  of  the  usual  routine  of  do 
mestic  occurrences  was  to  be  communicated,  he  leaned  back 
calmly  in  his  great  chair  and  awaited  the  issue. 

The  handsome  features  of  Lowe  did  not  undergo  the  slight 
est  alteration  during  the  housekeeper's  recital,  with  the  ex 
ception  of  a  scarcely  perceptible  shade  on  his  pale  forehead, 
flitting  momentarily  past,  when  the  name  of  Lucy  Winkle  was 
mentioned  in  connection  with  his  own. 

"  You  are  discreet,  Mrs.  Edwards,"  said  Lowe,  when  she 
ceased  speaking.  "  I  do  not  perceive  any  reason  why  I  should 
be  disquieted  by  the  surmises  of  the  people,  it  is  the  case  every 
where.  One's  neighbors  would  know  one's  occupation,  place 
of  nativity,  means  of  support,  objects  and  desires.  Very  well. 
If  I  do  not  choose  to  tell  them,  let  them  guess.  It  cannot 
annoy  me.  But  it  must  not  affect  Miss  Winkle's  peace  of 
mind,  either.  Therefore,  Edwards — No.  I  will  remain.  She 
is  a  fine  lovely  girl,  and  as  pure  and  amiable  as  lovely.  I 
have  seen  Mr.  Roland.  He  is  a  bad  man.  Well,  I  have  also 
seen  roues — often.  Like  the  rest,  he  is  a  contriver  of  strata 
gems.  What  is  the  name  of  the  dirty-faced  boy  who  delivered 
the  peace-offering  to  the  aunt  ?  " 

"Bill  Dizzle,  your  honor." 

"  He,  too,  is  employed  by  him.     Where  is  he  now  ?  " 

"  In  the  kitchen  with  the  cook,  your  honor." 

"  I  suppose  so.  The  enemy's  camp  is  the  place  for  a  spy. 
But  that  lad  is  not  bad  by  nature.  Send  him  to  me." 

The  frog-catcher  appeared  at  the  door  with  his  invariable 
smile,  his  long  locks,  and  his  mud-colored  cap  on  his  head. 

"  Come  in,  Bill,"  said  Lowe,  "  I  want  a  conversation  with 
you.  Sit  down.  I  believe  I  am  your  best  customer  in  this 
village,  eh  ? " 

"  They  say  frogs  is  nasty  !  " 

"  And  mushrooms  ?  " 

"  They're  afeard  of  being  pisoned  ! " 


THE    FROG   CATCHER.  53 

"  But  you  and  I  know  better.' 

"  And  Sargent  Blore,  and  the  emperor." 

"  Yes.     And  do  we  consume  all  you  can  procure  ?  " 

"  The  sargent  eats  a  dozen  hind-quarters  at  a  time — and 
your  ooman  pays  me  four  dollars  a  week.  He  !  he  !  he  !  how 
the  butcher  would  stare  if  he  knowed  it !  But  Mrs.  Edards 
bound  me  not  to  tell.  People  say  you  must  be  poor,  you 
buy  so  little,  and  live  in  such  a  little  house." 

"  Be  sure,  Bizzle " 

"  Dizzle — Biddy  calls  me  Bizzle." 

"  Well.  Be  sure  always  to  make  Mrs.  Edwards  pay  you 
the  money  down,  so  that  if  we  run  away,  you  will  lose  no 
thing." 

"  I  aint  afeard.  Sargent  Blore  says  he'll  pay  Mrs.  Ed 
ards'  debts  if  she  can't.  He  says  he's  in  love  with  her, 
'cause  she  is  sensible  'nuff  to  'preciate  frogs  and  mush- 
roons — " 

"  The  himpudent  one-harmed,  one-heyed,  one-legged  himp 
of  satan !  "  said  Mrs.  Edwards,  coming  in  at  that  moment, 
with  some  dew-moistened  roses,  and  with  a  face  flushed  to  the 
eyebrows. 

"  Edwards,"  said  Lowe,  smiling,  "  you  must  not  be  angry 
with  the  sergeant  for  admiring  you.  You  can't  prevent  it, 
and  he  can't  help  it." 

"  She's  gone,  like  a  shot,"  said  Bill,  as  the  old  woman 
vanished  muttering  something  to  herself. 

"  You  must  not  say  a  word  about  this  to  the  sergeant, 
Dizzle." 

"  No,  sir.  If  I  was  to,  he'd  be  dead  sure  to  come  and 
marry  her  in  spite  of  herself.  I  know  his  natur,  sir." 

"  Eh  ?  Then  you  may  tell  him.  I  should  like  to  witness 
the  progress  of  such  a  siege.  But,  Bill,  don't  Mr.  Roland 
sometimes  throw  profitable  jokes  in  your  way  ?  " 

"  He's  always  paying  me  for  doing  something  or  other. 
He's  a  rich  gentleman — and  he's  good  to  me  and  my  sister." 

"  Your  sister  ?  " 

"  Yes.  He  let's  her  have  her  cabin  and  patch  for  nothing. 
I  stay  with  her  sometimes,  and  sometimes  at  the  emperor's. 
I  would  like  to  stay  here  a  little,  too,  if  you've  no  objection." 

"  I  have  none  in  the  world.  But  why  would  you  like  to 
stay  here  a  little  ?  " 

"  'Cause  Patty  O'Pan,  in  the  kitchen,  is  good  to  me  ;  and 


54  THE    WINKLES. 

she  shows  me  how  to  cook  frogs  in  every  way — and  she  knows 
a  mushroon  from  a  frog-stool — and  she  lets  me  buss  her." 

"  Buss  her  ?  What's  that  ?  Oh,  I  recollect.  I  suppose 
that's  one  of  her  sauces.  But  your  sister — has  she  a  fam 
ily?" 

"  Only  one — a  little  gal.  I  don't  know  where  it's  from,  or 
how  it  come  there.  Them  two  and  me  is  all." 

"  Is  she  a  widow  ?  " 

"  She  wasn't  never  married,  sir,  that  I  knows  on." 

"  Oh,  I  forgot  that.  Then,  Mr.  Roland  likes  you  to  tell 
him  all  the  news  you  hear,  and  all  the  things  you  see,  and  he 
pays  you  for  your  trouble  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir.  But  Mrs.  Edards  won't  say  anything,  and 
Patty  O'Pan  don't  know  nothing." 

"  But  you  can  see  for  yourself." 

u  I  see  only  you,  and  your  books,  and  such  things.  But 
that's  not  what  he  wants." 

"  What  does  he  want?" 

"  He  wants  to  find  out  if  you  aint  a  counterfeiter,  a 
gambler,  a  robber,  a  murderer,  or  something  of  that  sort." 

"  And  do  you  think  I  am  any  of  these,  Bill?  "  asked  Lowe, 
smiling. 

"  Blazes  !  No.  You're  a  gentleman,  and  a  nicer  one  nor 
him." 

"  Thank  you,  Dizzle.  There's  a  dollar.  Now  remember, 
we  are  to  be  good  friends,  and  you  shall  come  when  you  choose 
to  see  my  Patty  Pan — " 

"  I  called  her  that  once,  sir,  and  she  slapped  my  jaws." 

"  O'Pan,  then.  But  you  must  not  repeat  my  conversation 
to  him." 

"  I  won't  tell  only  what  you  want  me  to." 

'{  You  may  say  I  am  very  poor,  and  can't  get  any  employ 
ment.  That  will  do." 

"  La !  I  saw  you  pitch  out  the  trout  once !  and  knock 
down  the  ducks  right  and  left  as  they  sailed  round !  If  you'd 
only  go  in  partnership  with  me,  and  let  me  sell  'em  in  the  city, 
we'd  make  a  fortin  !  " 

"  We'll  talk  that  over  some  other  time.     Good-by,  now." 

Bill  bowed  unconsciously  and  withdrew. 


THE   WINKLE  CHATEAU.  55 

CHAPTEK    VI. 

THE  WINKLE  CHATEAU— THE  GAME  EESUMED, 

MR.  ROLAND'S  carriage,  containing  Miss  Wilsome  "Winkle  and 
her  neice,  Mr.  Lowe  and  Grusset,  drove  up  to  the  portico  of 
Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle's  fine  mansion.  Sentinels,  in  trappings 
resembling  the  uniform  of  the  imperial  guard-,  were  pro 
menading  in  front.  These  were  some  of  Mr.  Winkle's  tenan 
try,  who  had  been  drilled  that  morning  by  Sergeant  Blore. 

Mr.  Winkle  was  seated  in  his  great  chair  in  his  library, 
looking  over  sundry  charts  spread  out  on  a  table.  He  was 
dressed  in  the  old  style,  wearing  tight  breeches,  silk  stockings, 
and  shoes  and  buckles.  We  have  said  he  was  fat.  He  was 
also  nearly  bald. 

When  the  company  was  announced,  he  arose  and  advanced 
with  dignity.  But  the  one  whom  he  first  accosted  with  friend 
ly  greeting  was  Grusset. 

"Why,  brother,"  said  Miss  Wilsome,  "  where  are  your 
glasses  ?  That  is  Grusset !  Don't  you  know  me  ?  " 

"  Certainly  I  do,  sister,"  he  replied,  shaking  her  hand  very 
heartily — "  I  did  not  look  at  her  face,  and  supposed  it  was  my 
niece." 

"  She  don't  resemble  Lucy.  But  let  me  introduce  Mr. 
Lowe,  my  partner  at  whist." 

"  I  am  happy  to  see  you,  Mr.  Lowe,"  said  Mr.  Winkle, 
with  great  politeness;  and  then,  a  moment  after,  added: 
"  Lowe — Lowe — I  have  heard  that  name  before " 

"  Oh,  very  likely,  sir,  as  I  have  been  residing  in  Babbleton 
a  number  of  weeks,"  remarked  the  young  man. 

"  Lowe !  I  hope,  sir,  your  first  name  is  not  Hudson  ?  " 

"  It  is  not,  sir.     It  is  Edmund." 

"  You  are  not  a  son  of  Sir  Hudson's  ?  " 

"  I  am  not,  indeed,"  continued  Lowe,  smiling. 

"  What  nonsense,  brother,"  said  Miss  Wilsome.  "  Sir 
Hudson  was  a  middle-aged  man  when  Governor  of  St.  Hel 
ena  ;  and  as  Bonaparte  died  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago " 

"  Very  true,  Wilsome — very  true.  Come,  have  my  arm. 
The  table  is  in  the  next  room,  and  the  cards  and  counters  on 


56  THE   WINKLES. 

it.  And  there  are  refreshments  on  the  sideboard.  Let  the 
young  people  follow." 

"  Where  is  Mr  Roland  ?  "  asked  Wilsome,  looking  round 
in  vain  for  that  gentleman,  upon  entering  the  room  in  which 
they  were  to  play. 

"  I  have  a  note  from  him,"  said  her  brother,  fumbling 
for  it  in  his  vest  pocket.  "  He  says  he  has  been  suddenly 
called  away  in  a  matter  of  great  urgency  and  importance ;  and 
that  he  may  not  possibly  be  able  to  return  before  the  even 
ing." 

"  No  matter ! "  said  Wilsome,  in  her  masculine  voice. 
"He  pays  no  attention  to  the  game.  What  shall  we  do? 
Lucy  is  not  fond  of  whist,  and  would  rather  be  rambling  about 
the  grounds.  Mr.  Lowe  plays  admirably,  but  he  is  my  part 
ner.  How  shall  we  be  matched  ?  " 

"  I'll  have  Miss  Gusset — and  see  if  we  don't  beat  you  the 
first  rubber  !  Where  is  she  ?  Left  in  the  library !  What 
barbarians  we  are !  But,  rfimporte ;  I  will  conduct  her 
hither." 

Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle  withdrew  for  that  purpose,  and 
seemed  to  remain  away  something  longer  than  his  sister 
deemed  necessary,  and  she  awaited  him  with  a  fretful  impa 
tience,  while  Lucy  and  Lowe  admired  the  prospect  from  a 
window. 

The  lagging  behind  in  the  library  had  not  been  accidental 
on  the  part  of  Gusset.  But  what  transpired  there,  between 
herself  and  Mr.  Winkle,  must  remain  among  the  undeveloped 
secrets  of  diplomacy,  for  there  were  no  witnesses  present  to 
divulge  it.  Yet  it  might  have  been  surmised  from  the  agreea 
ble  expression  of  their  countenances  when  they  finally  appeared 
and  assumed  their  places  at  the  table,  that  the  brief  conference 
which  had  been  held,  like  that  of  the  famous  emperors  at  Til 
sit,  had  not  been  an  unpleasant  one. 

When  they  commenced  the  game,  Lucy  escaped  through 
the  large  French  window,  and  was  soon  careering  over  the 
lawn,  followed  by  her  faithful  spaniel.  When,  panting  with 
the  exercise,  and  laden  with  roses,  she  ascended  a  small  knoll 
a  hundred  paces  from  the  house,  and  rested  in  a  turret  or  pa 
vilion,  which  had  been  constructed  by  her  uncle  for  his  own 
convenience.  This  small  isolated  building,  resembling  a  light 
house,  in  having  windows  on  every  side,  was  so  thickly  over 
grown  with  vines  that  one  could  view  from  within  it  every  field 


l/EW'S  DISLIKE.  57 

on  the  plantation  (or  country  in  Europe),  and  remain  himself 
unseen.  From  this  place  most  of  (the  Winkles)  Napoleon's  or 
ders  of  a  military  character  were  issued. 

Lucy,  amidst  the  perfume  of  her  roses  and  honeysuckles, 
the  thrilling  echoes  of  the  orioles  from  the  tall  elms,  the  pure 
sunlight  of  a  calm  day,  the  harmonious  buzzing  of  insects 
through  the  peaceful  air,  yielded  to  the  influence  of  the  mo 
ment,  and  almost  unconsciously  warbled  one  of  the  happy 
songs  which  occasionally  gushed  forth  from  her  innocent  heart. 

"  Why,  Dew !  "  said  she,  ceasing  abruptly  in  the  midst  of  a 
stanza,  as  she  heard  a  low  growl  from  her  spaniel;  "  that  is  a 
horrid  accompaniment.  If  my  ditty  is  displeasing,  you  shall 
hear  no  more  of  it.  What  is  the  matter  ?  How  his  eyes  do 
gleam !  Dew !  "  The  spaniel  sprang  up  and  barked  fiercely ; 
and  the  next  moment  Mr.  Ralph  Roland  emerged  from  a  clus 
ter  of  lilac  bushes  near  the  pavilion. 

"  Be  quiet,  Dew,"  said  he.  "  Don't  you  know  me  ?"  he  con 
tinued,  ascending  the  steps  of  the  pavilion,  and  casting  a  half- 
careless  glance  at  the  still  threatening  dog,  as  it  growled  and 
whined  after  returning  to  the  feet  of  its  mistress. 

"  Mr.  Roland,"  said  Lucy,  "  I  thought  you  were  to  be  ab 
sent  to-day.  Did  you  not  say  so  in  a  note  to  my  uncle  ?  " 

"  I  did,  my  dear  creature,"  said  he,  throwing  himself  into 
a  rustic  seat  beside  her;  "but  it  was  merely  a  stratagem  for 
your  benefit." 

"  My  benefit !     How,  sir  ?  " 

"  You  know,  if  I  had  been  present,  your  aunt  would  have 
compelled  me  to  play ;  and  so  you  would  have  been  under  the 
necessity  of  entertaining  your  uncle,  or  of  being  entertained  by 
him." 

"  And  I  assure  you  I  am  always  very  agreeably  entertained 
by  him !  Yet  I  am  not  quite  certain  your  presence  would 
have  released  my  uncle  from  the  game.  He  seemed  to  be  en 
joying  it  very  heartily  when  I  left  them." 

"  Oh,  Gusset  was  his  partner !  " 

"  How  did  you  know  that?  Mr.  Roland,  it  seems  to  me 
very  mysterious,  that  you  should  be  observing  what  passes  in 
the  house — or  chateau,  as  my  uncle  calls  it — remaining  your 
self  unseen.  And,  then,  appearing  suddenly  before  me  from  a 
covert,  unannounced " 

"  Dew  announced  me,"  said  he,  smiling,  and  taking  up  one 
of  the  roseS  Lucy  had  dropped. 


58  THE   WINKLES. 

'  Yes,  he  announced  you ;  but  it  was  no  friendly  greeting. 
I  Lave  some  faith  in  Dew's  discernment." 

"  Upon  my  soul,"  said  Roland,  laughing,  "  I  am  inclined 
to  believe  you  are  serious,  for  you  have  done  nothing  but 
frown  ever  since  you  beheld  me." 

"  And  Dew  has  never  ceased  to  show  his  teeth,"  said  she. 

"  Oh,  I  will  love  Dew,  if  he  will  permit  me.  You  recol 
lect  the  saying — '  Love  me,  love  my  dog.'  But,  seriously,  my 
dear  Miss  Winkle,  whether  it  shall  ever  be  my  good  fortune 
to  conciliate  Dew  or  not,  believe  me,  upon  the  honor  of  a  man, 
that  I  have  long  loved  you " 

"  Mr.  Roland  1  "  cried  she,  attempting  to  rise,  while  Dew, 
not  knowing  whether  or  not  his  mistress  was  held  contrary  to 
her  will,  crouched  at  her  feet,  his  eyes  fixed  with  a  steady 
fierceness  upon  Roland's  face. 

"  Stay,  my  sweet  Lucy,"  said  Roland.  "  You  know  I  am 
rich.  I  am  not  old.  All  I  possess — my  heart,  my  hand,  my 

fortune — are  at  your  feet Deuce  take  the  dog  !  "  cried  he, 

starting  up,  and  shaking  Dew  from  the  skirt  of  his  coat,  upon 
which  the  animal  had  fastened.  Feeling  himself  slightly 
bruised  by  the  teeth  of  the  dog,  he  bestowed  a  smart  kick  upon 
him,  and  sent  him  yelping  under  Lucy's  chair. 

"  Mr.  Roland — leave  me  !  "  said  Lucy. 

"  Be  not  offended,  niy  sweet  girl,"  continued  the  wooer. 
"  My  proposals  are  honorable,  and  you  shall  be — • — -" 

"  Say  no  more,  sir.  It  is  distressing  to  me.  I  cannot  love 
you.  Let  that  suffice." 

"  You  might,  in  time.  But  if  you  did  not,  that  would  be 
my  misfortune.  As  for  yourself,  be  assured  I  love  you  now, 
have  loved  you  long,  and  would  continue  to  do  so  for  ever." 

"Cease,  cease  this  conversation,  Mr.  Roland;  and  let  me 
return  to  the  house.  It  is  painful  to  hear  you.  I  would  not 
have  you  love  me,  and  you  can  never  have  either  my  heart  or 
my  hand." 

"  Cruel  Lucy  !  But  you  are  now  discomposed.  Calm  re 
flection,  and  the  advice  of  your  family,  may  change  your  mind. 
Recollect  that  you  may  be  disappointed  in  your  expectations. 
Your  aunt  is  capricious,  and  your  uncle  may  marry." 

"  Sir,  my  mother's  humble  dwelling  would  be  preferable  to 
all  the  wealth  in  the  world,  if  obtained  by  means  of  an  alliance 
with  one  whose  presence  would  be  an  unceasing  source  of  dis 
gust  and  misery ! " 


THE  PROGRESS  OF  THE  GAME.         59 

"  Unjust  and  unreasonable  girl !  Think  that,  the  humble 
dwelling  and  the  few  pitiful  acres  you  allude  to,  do  not  belong 
to  your  mother.1' 

"  How,  sir  ?  " 

"  The  property  is  encumbered.  There  is  a  mortgage  on  it 
for  three-fourths  its  value.  Then  be  not  so  disdainful.  You 
are  poor,  and  I  am  rich." 

"  Release  me,  sir ! "  continued  Lucy,  striving  in  vain  to 
escape,  while  Dew  continued  to  bark.  "  If  I  am  poor,  sir,  I 
am  independent.  Beware  how  you  insult  me>" 

"I  do  not  insult  you,  my  dearest  girl,"  said  Roland.  "I 
would  save  you  from  the  sneers  of  the  world.  The  offer  I 
make  cannot  be  deemed  an  insult.  I  would  save  you " 

"  From  what,  sir  ?     Nobody  has  sneered  at  me." 

"  I  would  save  you  from  the  fatal  toils  of  an  impostor " 

"  Who  ?  " 

"  That  man  now  sitting  opposite  your  aunt.  You  know 
not  who  he  is — whence  he  comes — his  occupation — his  charac 
ter — — " 

"  Sir,  you  do  insult  me — or  at  least  you  grossly  offend,  by 
such  gratuitous  declaration  !  "  said  Lucy,  blushing  deeply,  and 
then  turning  deathly  pale. 

"  I  see  how  it  is,  Lucy.  I  should  have  warned  you  sooner. 
I  will  release  you  now.  I  desire  you  will  consult  your  mother 
and  your  uncle.  In  their  hands  and  yours  I  place  my  hopes. 
Farewell — or  if  we  meet  again  to-day,  pray  banish  that 
frown." 

"  Mr.  Roland,"  replied  the  girl,  now  released,  but  no  longer 
inclined  to  fly,  "leave  me  to  ray  solitary  meditations.  But, 
before  you  go,  be  assured  that  I  will  never  love  or  wed  you. 
It  will  not  be  necessary  for  me  to  mention  the  subject  to  any 
one,  unless  you  resolve  to  persecute  me  with  your  addresses, 
which  would  only  give  me  pain.  My  mother  and  uncle,  what 
ever  might  be  their  opinion  or  desire,  would  never  attempt  to 
constrain  me  to  any  step  repugnant  to  my  wishes.  Therefore, 
if  you  would  have  my  respect  and  friendship,  never  again  refer 
to  the  subject." 

"  At  least,  you  can  have  no  objection,"  said  Roland,  throw 
ing  a  scrutinizing  glance  at  the  fair  girl  as  he  departed,  "  to 
my  unmasking  the  impostor  who  has  taken  such  convenient 
lodgings  in  Babbleton  ?  " 


60  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I  have  no  right  to  object,  sir,  to  any  thing  in  which  I  am 
not  interested." 

"  Then  why  that  change  of  color,  Lucy  ?  " 

"  I  see  it  not,  sir.  Mr.  Roland,  take  care  that  you  do  not 
injure  an  innocent  person  !  Mr.  Lowe  is  not  the  base  man 
you  suppose.  Beware  how  you  assail  a  stranger,  of  whom  you 
know  nothing,  upon  the  mere  conjectures  of  the  idle  gossips 
of  the  village  !  However,  I  doubt  not  he  will  be  prepared  to 
vindicate  himself,  whenever  any  one  shall  venture  to  charge 
him  with  the  commission  of  a  criminal  act.  And  until  he 
fails  to  repel  any  such  aifronts  upon  his  character,  rely  upon 
it,  he  will  be  received  as  a  welcome  guest  at  my  mother's 
humble  dwelling." 

When  she  ceased  speaking,  Roland  retired  without  utter 
ing  any  reply  ;  and  the  brave  girl  immediately  bestowed  all 
her  attention  upon  poor  Dew,  whom  she  caressed  for  his  timely 
defence  of  his  mistress. 

Soon  after  Roland  might  have  been  seen  galloping  through 
a  distant  lane  towards  his  own  estate.  And  at  intervals  mes 
sengers  on  horseback  were  sent  by  Sergeant  Blore,  from  dif 
ferent  parts  of  the  Winkle  empire,  with  despatches  for  his 
chief.  So  that  a  continual  clatter  of  hoofs  was  kept  up  during 
the  progress  of  the  game. 


CHAPTEK    VII. 

THE  GAME  INTERRUPTED  BY  THE  NEWS  OF  A  SUDDEN  INVASION. 

"  READ  that  despatch  for  me,  partner,"  said  Mr.  Winkle, 
passing  a  small  square  piece  of  paper  across  the  table  to  Grus- 
set.  It  had  just  been  brought  in  by  one  of  Sergeant  Blore's 
messengers. 

"  Why  don't  you  read  it  yourself  ?  "  asked  Wilsome,  lifting 
her  eyes  from  the  cards  in  her  hand. 

"  Because,  sister,  I  left  my  glasses  in  my  cabinet ;  and  al 
though  I  can  distinguish  the  knave  of  hearts  without  them,  I 
would  find  it  difficult  to  decipher  Blore's  confounded  crabbed 
pencil  scratches.  And  I  doubt  whether  you  could  do  it  with- 


AN    INVASION.  61 

out  your  spectacles,  which  I  am  sure  you  are  ashamed  to  wear 
in  company." 

"  I  am  not  ashamed,  brother." 

Gusset  reads  :  "  The  old  boar  and  a  flock  of  crows  are 
eating  the  dead  horse  in  the  north  fields.''1 

"What  does  that  mean,  brother  ?"  demanded  Miss  Wil- 
some. 

"  It  means  that  the  Bussians  and  the  Cossacks  are  nib 
bling  again  at  the  Pole.  No  matter,  so  they  don't  disturb 
Saxony.  Such  is  my  answer." 

As  the  game  proceeded,  the  following  additional  notes 
were  received,  and  read  by  the  milliner,  while  Mr.  Lowe,  with 
much  difficulty,  preserved  his  gravity. 

"  The  Billy  goats  are  fighting  again  on  the  hill" 

"The  Swiss!"  said  Mr.  Winkle.  "The  cantons  are 
never  quiet.  They  will  have  to  be  absorbed.  Tell  Blore 
to  have  them  chastised,  and  warned.  He  may  fire  a  few  pla 
toons  with  blank  cartridge." 

After  this  a  long  silence  ensued,  and  G-usset  played  a 
great  many  trumps,  which,  with  the  four  honors  she  held, 
won  the  game. 

"  It  is  my  turn  to  shuffle.  There  will  be  no  more  such 
hands  !  "  said  Miss  Wilsome,  casting  an  ill-natured  glance  at 
the  milliner.  It  is  game  and  game.  This  time  we  will  win 
the  rubber." 

And  it  seemed  that  the  prediction  so  confidently  made, 
was  about  to  be  fulfilled  ;  for  the  first  hand  won  nine  tricks. 
The  honors  were  divided  between  Miss  Wilsome  and  her  part 
ner,  as  well  as  all  the  valuable  cards. 

It  was  just  when  Miss  Wilsome  was  exulting  over  such 
signal  success,  and  anticipating  a  speedy  triumph,  that  one  of 
the  sentinels  ran  in  and  made  the  following  announcement, 
which  he  said  the  sergeant  did  not  have  time  to  write : 

"  The  bull's  swam  across  the  slough,  sir,  and  is  trying  to 
get  into  the  orchard  among  the  cows." 

"  We  are  invaded  !  The  British  !  The  British  ! "  cried 
the  old  man,  leaping  up  and  overturning  the  table.  "  My 
these  !  My  horse  !  "  he  continued,  rushing  out  upon  the  lawn. 
"  Bring  up  the  guards  !  Sound  the  alarm  !  To  the  field  !  Fol 
low  me,  soldiers  !  The  enemy  is  upon  our  soil !  " 

Consternation  prevailed.  The  drum  beat  to  arms,  and 
the  sentinels  fired  their  muskets ;  and  before  Miss  Wilsome 


62  THE  WINKLES, 

had  sufficiently  recovered  from  her  paroxysm  of  passion  to 
utter  a  word,  her  excited  brother  was  in  the  saddle,  and  gal 
loping  towards  the  enemy,  at  the  head  of  a  small  party  of  his 
retainers.  They  soon  reached  the  scene  of  the  invasion,  which 
was  plainly  in  view  from  the  pavilion,  and  where  Lucy  was 
joined  by  her  aunt  and  her  partner,  as  well  as  by  Gusset. 

The  orchard  fence  ran  parallel  with  the  narrow  sheet  of 
water  which  separated  France  from  England,  as  laid  down  on 
Mr.  Winkle's  map.  The  latter  country,  a  marsh  meadow,  was 
usually  inhabited  by  the  bull,  but  he  was  occasionally  in  the 
habit  of  making  incursions  upon  the  neighboring  tracts. 

The  enormous  animal  was  now  throwing  up  the  earth  with 
his  feet,  and  bellowing  fearfully,  while  the  herd  of  cows  and 
heifers  within  the  inclosure,  so  far  from  being  alarmed  at 
his  presence,  had  drawn  nearer  to  the  fence  which  separated 
them. 

On  rushed  Napoleon,  followed  by  his  little  band  of  heroes. 
But,  fearless  and  obedient  as  they  had  often  proved  on  other  oc 
casions,  they  faltered  on  this,  when  they  perceived,  that  instead 
of  being  panic-stricken,  the  bull  faced  about  and  coolly  awaited 
the  attack.  Turning  his  head,  and  seeing  the  hesitation 
among  his  followers,  Winkle  drew  rein  and  ordered  them  to 
come  up.  They  did  so  very  reluctantly  > 

"  Soldiers  !  "  said  he,  "  let  me  not  have  cause  to  be  offend 
ed  at  your  conduct  this  day.  The  eyes  of  my  guests  in  yon 
der  pavilion  are  upon  us  !  " 

"  But  that  dratted  bull  looks  like  he  wanted  to  poke  some 
of  us,"  said  one  of  the  guard. 

"  What  then  ?  ;>  exclaimed  the  furious  Winkle.  "  Are  vic 
tories  won  without  risk  of  wounds,  and  even  death  ?  Would 
you  purchase  glory  without  paying  its  price  in  blood  ?  I  am 
ashamed  of  you  !  Surrender  your  gun  into  the  hands  of  that 
boy  in  front.  Retire  in  disgrace  from  the  field.  You  are  ig- 
nominiously  dismissed  !  Comrades^"  he  continued,  "  advance 
and  fire.  And  when  you  have  discharged  your  guns,  charge 
yourselves  upon  the  enemy.  He  will  fly  before  you !  " 

They  formed  a  line  in  front  of  the  bull,  extending  from 
the  fence  down  the  water's  edge,  and  levelling  their  guns,  fired 
as  they  had  been  ordered.  But  when  the  smoke  cleared  away, 
instead  of  seeing  the  bull  in  full  retreat,  they  beheld  him  rush 
ing  directly  towards  them,  his  head  down,  and  his  tail  ram 
pant  over  his  back.  Winkle  continued  to  spur  forward,  but 


THE   MONSTER   BULL.  63 

his  followers  took  to  their  heels  and  fled  away.  Some  leaped 
the  fence  and  climbed  the  apple  trees,  while  others  never 
paused  until  they  were  under  shelter  of  the  castle.  All  threw 
away  their  arms. 

It  must  be  owned  that  Winkle  was  not  insensible  to  some 
symptoms  of  trepidation  when  he  beheld  the  great  eyes  of  his 
foe  glaring  upon  him.  But  the  eyes  in  the  pavilion  were  upon 
him  also,  and  it  would  not  do  to  fly ;  and  although  several  in 
stances  occurred  to  his  mind  wherein  his  great  prototype  had 
embraced  the  means  in  his  power  to  escape  a  sudden  peril, 
still  he  resolved  to  face  the  infuriated  animal.  Yet  it  should 
not  perhaps  be  denied,  that  he  had  some  hope  of  a  reconcili 
ation  at  the  last  moment,  forgetting  that  the  fatal  affront  had 
already  been  given  by  himself,  in  offending  the  nostrils  of  his 
enemy  with  the  fumes  of  sulphur.  Therefore,  that  nothing  on 
his  part  might  be  omitted,  as  soon  as  his  followers  had  receded 
out  of  hearing,  he  commenced  his  overtures  as  follows  :  "  Come 
Johnny,  my  fine  fellow,  you  have  taken  salt  from  my  hand 
many  a  time.  Be  quiet,  now — my  fine  fellow."  Johnny  re 
cognized  his  master  and  paused  in  mid-career,  and  in  the  cen 
tre  of  the  road,  but  still  kept  his  head  down  in  a  menacing 
attitude.  Long  he  remained  thus,  as  motionless  as  a  statue, 
while  a  low  moan  escaped  him  resembling  the  deep  mutterings 
preceding  an  earthquake. 

Winkle,  supposing  the  victory  gained,  deliberately  dis 
mounted  from  his  horse,  and  approached  Johnny  on  foot,  as 
he  had  often  done  before,  for  the  purpose  of  caressing  him. 
But  it  did  not  occur  to  him  that  he  had  never  attempted  to 
approach  the  animal  with  a  broad  scarlet  sash  enveloping  his 
chest.  Hence,  when  he  was  within  a  few  paces  of  his  huge 
minion,  he  was  astonished  to  see  him  leap  forward  to  meet  him 
more  like  the  spring  of  a  tiger  upon  a  lamb  than  the  motion 
of  friendly  greeting.  Winkle  turned,  and  fled  with  all  his 
might,  without  pausing  to  reflect  upon  the  consequences  of 
such  an  example.  But  he  was  too  fat  to  escape  by  means  of 
his  own  locomotion ;  and  his  steed,  taking  the  alarm,  had  fled 
away  in  advance  ! 

On  ran  Winkle,  and  after  him  the  bull,  while  cries  of  alarm 
proceeded  from  the  pavilion,  and  curses  were  uttered  by  Ser 
geant  Blore,  who  strove  in  vain  to  rally  the  men. 

At  last  Winkle  gave  up  in  despair,  and  fell  down  upon  his 
face,  just  at  the  moment  when  the  bull  had  slightly  turned 


64  THE   WINKLES. 

aside  one  of  his  huge  horns  for  the  purpose  of  transfixing  him. 
Escaping  immediate  death  by  his  opportune  relinquishment  of 
the  field,  Winkle  nevertheless  felt  the  point  of  the  horn  glance 
harmlessly  over  the  posterior  portion  of  his  body.  But  it 
ploughed  along  under  the  broad  scarlet  sash,  and  a  moment 
after  the  corpulent  hero  was  dangling  in  the  air !  Enraged 
to  desperation  upon  finding  that  his  victim  could  not  be  easily 
detached  from  his  new  position,  the  great  monster  ran  franti 
cally  to  and  fro  along  the  margin  of  the  water,  still  bearing 
his  captive  aloft,  whose  legs  and  arms  were  in  continual  motion, 
as  if  swimming  in  ether.  And  now  the  bull  was  followed  back 
wards  and  forwards  by  all  the  cows  and  heifers  in  the  orchard, 
and  by  all  the  terriers  of  the  neighborhood,  which  kept  up  a 
continual  clatter  at  his  heels.  The  only  words  the  poor  man 
was  heard  to  utter  were,  "  Help  !  help  !  rescue  !  rescue  !  " 

Witnessing  such  a  scene  from  the  pavilion,  Mr.  Lowe, 
touched  by  the  distress  of  Lucy,  united  his  endeavors  with 
those  of  Sergeant  Blore  to  induce  the  men  to  go  to  the  relief 
of  their  chieftain.  But  to  no  purpose.  They  were  immovable, 
and  the  sergeant  himself  could  do  nothing,  having  but  one 
leg,  one  eye,  and  one  arm. 

"Then  let  loose  yonder  bull-dog,"  cried  Lowe,  "  and  bid 
him  follow  me  !  " 

Saying  this,  the  young  man  seized  a  sheet  which  had  been 
spread  out  on  the  grass  by  the  washerwoman,  and  ran  off 
towards  the  scene  of  action.  As  soon  as  the  bull  beheld  him 
he  prepared  for  battle.  Pawing  up  the  earth,  and  bellowing 
furiously,  the  enormous  monster  came  down  at  full  speed, 
with  Winkle  still  dangling  from  his  right  hand  horn.  Lowe 
was  self-possessed.  He  adjusted  the  sheet  upon  his  arm  in 
the  manner  he  had  seen  the  Spaniards  do,  and  when  the  criti 
cal  moment  arrived,  succeeded  admirably  in  throwing  it  over 
the  animal's  head,  and  in  making  his  escape  by  springing  dex 
terously  aside.  The  bull,  being  thus  foiled,  and  blinded  by 
the  sheet,  shook  his  head  violently,  and  Winkle  flew  through 
the  air  like  some  great  fragment  cast  up  by  a  raging  volcano. 
He  sailed  over  the  prickly  bushes  on  the  margin  of  the  ditch, 
and  fell  head  foremost  among  the  spatter-docks,  which  grew 
half  in  mud  and  half  in  water.  The  place  where  he  fell  was 
as  soft  as  a  bed  of  down.  But  he  came  very  near  alighting 
upon  the  head  of  Bill  Dizzle,  who  was  so  intently  engaged  in 


ESCAPE    OF    LOWE.  65 

the  pursuit  of  a  large  frog,  that  he  had  not  heeded  the  uproar 
in  the  vicinity. 

':  Blue  blazes  !  What  a  tremendous  frog  !  "  cried  Bill, 
when  Winkle  dropped  into  the  ditch,  bespattering  him  all  over, 
and  filling  his  eyes  with  filthy  water,  so  that  for  several  mo 
ments  he  was  incapable  of  seeing  any  thing. 

"  No  !  it's  a  turkle  !  "  said  he,  when  he  had  succeeded  in 
wiping  the  muddy  water  from  his  eyes,  and  beheld  the  crown 
of  Winkle's  head  emerging  from  the  broad  leaves  of  the  spat 
ter  docks.  Both  the  cocked  hat  and  the  wig  of  Napoleon  had 
been  lost,  and  his  bald  head  having  been  submerged,  really 
resembled  in  color  and  shape  the  back  of  a  turtle  or  terapin. 

"  No  !  Blazes  !— no  !  "  continued  Bill.  "  It's— it's— bla 
zes  !  what  is  it  ?  " 

"  It's  Winkle,  Bill.  Help  me  out  of  the  ditch.  Take  me 
by  the  hand  and  lead  me.  I  cannot  see." 

"  So  it  is  !  Oh,  gonny  !  what  a  black  face  !  Take  holt  of 
the  prongs  of  my  spear,  sir." 

"  Walt  a  moment,  Bill.     See  if  the  bull  is  near  us  " 

Bill  crept  under  the  bushes  towards  the  road  and  witnessed 
the  finale  of  the  scene. 

The  bull,  finding  himself  relieved  of  the  burden  which  had 
in  some  degree  embarrassed  his  movements,  soon  tore  off  the 
sheet  that  obstructed  his  vision,  and  more  enraged  than  ever, 
rushed  upon  his  new  assailant.  But  Lowe  avoided  him  by 
springing  behind  a  tough  hickory  sapling  which  grew  on  the 
side  of  the  road.  Although  the  young  tree  was  not  greater 
in  diameter  than  a  man's  leg,  yet  it  sufficed  to  repel  the  as 
saults  of  the  frantic  animal.  Whenever  the  bull  made  a  lunge, 
the  elastic  sapling,  after  yielding  an  instant  to  the  force  of 
the  blow,  would  rebound  with  such  power  as  to  throw  back  the 
animal  on  his  haunches.  The  bull,  supposing  this  to  be  the 
resistance  of  his  antagonist,  grew  more  incensed  than  ever, 
and  redoubled  his  assaults.  Finally  the  young  tree  was  yield 
ing  under  the  effects  of  such  repeated  thrusts,  and  ceased  to 
repel  them  with  the  vigor  it  did  at  first,  and  Lowe,  expecting 
every  instant  to  see  his  only  remaining  defence  prostrated,  was 
upon  the  eve  of  giving  up  all  for  lost,  when  he  heard  the  short 
deep  barking  of  the  bull-dog.  A  moment  after,  he  saw  the 
teeth  of  his  brindle  deliverer  fastened  upon  the  cheek  of  the 
bull.  Uttering  a  startling  yell,  the  huge  monster  threw  up 
his  head  so  violently  that  the  flesh  was  torn  away,  and  the  dog 


66  THE   WINKLES. 

went  sailing  over  the  bushes,  and  fell  sprawling  into  the  ditch 
beside  its  master. 

"•Blazes  !  "  cried  Bill,  who  had  retreated  back  to  his  first 
position — "  the  frogs  will  be  frightened  for  a  month  !  " 

Meantime  the  bull  was  smarting  with  the  wound  he  had 
received,  and  instead  of  renewing  the  attack  upon  Lowe, 
gazed  towards  the  ditch,  as  if  to  ascertain  whether  the  dog 
was  hors  de  combat.  But  hearing  Brindle's  sharp  bark  as 
soon  as  his  head  was  above  water,  the  great  bull,  now  stricken 
with  terror,  turned  about  and  began  to  retreat.  Brindle, 
however,  sprang  from  under  the  bushes  and  seized  him  on  the 
other  cheek,  and  this  time  he  held  him  so  firmly  that  he  could 
not  be  shaken  oft'.  The  bull  roared,  and  rolled  in  the  dust ; 
but  Brindle  would  not  relinquish  his  hold.  Finally,  seeing 
the  sergeant  at  last  rallying  his  forces,  which  had  been  suc 
cessfully  appealed  to  by  Lucy  to  rescue  her  uncle  and  the 
young  gentleman,  the  animal  gave  up  the  contest,  and  rushed 
into  the  deepest  part  of  the  water,  where,  by  dint  of  submerg 
ing  his  head,  the  half-drowned  dog  was  forced  to-  open  his 
jaws.  The  bull  then  escaped  into  his  own  territory. 

Lucy,  when  she  witnessed  the  expulsion  of  the  bull,  sup 
posing  her  uncle  might  be  slain,  and  not  knowing  that  Lowe 
had  escaped  without  injury,  was  overwhelmed  with  tumultu 
ous  palpitations,  and  fainted  in  the  arms  of  her  aunt.  Now, 
Wilsome  had  done  nothing  but  abuse  her  brother  from  the 
moment  he  abandoned  the  game,  when  she  was  upon  the  eve 
of  winning  the  rubber.  And  she  was  in  no  pleasant  humor 
with  Lowe  for  joining  in  the  foolish  fracas,  as  she  termed  it. 
More  than  once  she  had  proposed  that  the  game  should  be 
concluded  with  a  dummy,  as  her  brother's  card  had  been  ex 
posed.  Her  own  cards  were  still  grasped  in  her  hand  when 
Lucy  fainted. 

"  Unlace  her,  Gusset,"  said  Miss  Wilsome,  with  petulance. 
"  Throw  out  the  roses,  and  empty  the  vase  of  water  in  her 
face — but  don't  spill  any  of  it  on  my  dress." 

Gusset  obeyed  with  trembling  hands,  a  livid  hue,  and 
chattering  teeth. 

"  She  is  reviving,"  said  Wilsome.  "  It  wasn't  much.  My 
brother  is  not  killed,  I  know — but  if  he  should  be,  what  else 
could  he  expect,  always  firing  off  guns,  and  fancying  boars 
are  Russians,  and  bulls  the  British.  I  am  his  sister,  it  is 
true — but  I  could  not  lament  his  death  as  much  as  a  sister 


THANK    HEAVEN,  HE    IS    SAFE. 

ought,  if  he  were  to  lose  his  life  in  any  of  these  mad  pranks. 
Besides,  I  abominate  black,  and  have  made  up  my  mind  never 
to  go  into  mourning.  So,  if  my  brother's  neck  be  broken  by 

the  bull "  Here  she  paused,  and  placing  Lucy  in  the 

rustic  arm-chair,  steadily  regarded  Gusset,  who  was  gasp 
ing. 

"  Why,  Gusset !  "  she  exclaimed,  "  what  in  the  world  are 
you  doing  ?  Are  you  going  to  swoon,  too  ?  He's  nothing  to 
you !  I  tell  you  what  it  is — if  you  have  the  ill-manners  to 
faint  before  my  face,  I  shall  go  off  and  leave  you  to  recover 
the  best  way  you  can!  It  is  an  impudent, indecent  habit !  I 
never  fainted.  So,  now,  you  have  some  color.  But  pick  up 
your  cards ;  they  fell  with  the  backs  up,  and  I  did  not  see 
them.  The  game  must  be  played  out.  Mercy  on  us  ! "  she 
continued,  as  she  beheld  her  brother  approaching  on  foot, 
covered  completely  with  the  black  mud  of  the  marsh,  and  fol 
lowed  by  the  whole  rabble  of  his  retainers,  ever  and  anon 
uttering  loud  huzzas. 

"  Oh,  thank  heaven,  he  is  safe  !  "  said  Lucy. 

"  Safe  !  "  cried  her  aunt.  "  Do  you  call  him  safe  in  that 
predicament  ?  He  had  better  be  dead,  than  live  in  such  a 
pickle  as  that." 

"  The  mud  can  soon  "be  removed!"  cried  Gusset,  rising, 
and  seemingly  about  to  rush  forward  and  assist  in  the  purifi 
cation  of  the  discomfited  chieftain. 

"  What  do  you  mean,  Gusset  ?  "  asked  Miss  Wilsome,  and 
at  the  same  time  thrusting  back  the  milliner."  If  you  stir  a 
step  towards  him  and  soil  your  hands,  I'll  send  you  home, 
madam.  I  am  mistress  here,  I  would  have  you  know.  The 
game  must  be  finished.  Let  Blore  take  his  master  to  the 
pump,  and  we'll  play  with  a  dummy." 

"  Fortunately  no  injury  has  been  done  !  "  said  Lowe,  enter 
ing  the  pavilion. 

"  He  upset  my  basket  of  frogs,"  said  Bill  Dizzle,  follow 
ing,  "  and  they  all  swam  away." 

"  I'm  glad  of  it,"  said  Miss  Wilsome;  "and  I  hope  you 
may  never  catch  them  again."  Bill  gave  her  a  look  of  mingled 
astonishment  and  contempt,  and  then  withdrew. 

"  You,  too,  were  in  great  peril,"  said  Lucy,  addressing 
Lowe. 

"  I  confess  that  when  I  saw  the  roots  of  the  friendly  sap 
ling  yielding  to  the  furious  assaults  of  the  animal,  I  measured 


68  THE   WINKLES. 

the  height  of  the  fence  with  my  eye,  hoping  to  be  able  to 
clear  it  at  one  bound.  I  think  I  could  have  done  so." 

While  her  brother  was  undergoing  the  prescribed  ablution 
at  the  pump,  Wilsome  insisted  upon  the  game  being  played 
out  with  a  dummy.  But  when  they  were  seated  at  the  table, 
it  was  discovered  that  a  card  was  missing ;  and  luckily  for  the 
rest,  it  was  one  which  had  fallen  from  Miss  Wilsome's  own 
hand.  It  could  not  be  found,  and  so  a  new  pack  was  called 
for,  and  a  new  deal  submitted  to. 

But  before  the  thirteenth  card  had  been  dealt  to  Dummy, 
Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle  made  his  appearance  among  them,  in 
fresh  costume,  and  resumed  his  seat  opposite  Miss  Griselda 
Gusset. 

"  Having  had  a  tilt  with  Johnny  Bull,"  said  he,  in  high 
spirits,  "  we  will  now  have  a  bout  with  the  four  kings." 

"  Brother,  how  can  you  treat  a  serious  matter  so  lightly," 
asked  Miss  Wilsome.  "  If  you  had  witnessed  the  fainting 
scene  in  the  pavilion,  after  your  flight  over  the  hedge " 

"  You  did  not  faint,  did  you,  sister?  " 

"II" 

"  But  who  did  ?  " 

"  Lucy— and " 

"  JLucy,  then,  feared  to  lose  her  uncle?" 

"  Certainly,  uncle,"  said  Lucy. 

"  You  are  my  pet.     But  did  any  one  else  faint  ?  " 

"  Gusset  would  have  fainted,  if  I  had  permitted  it,"  said 
Miss  Wilsome.  "  And  I  am  sure  I  don't  know  why  she 
should  have  done  so." 

Mr.  Winkle  cast  a  meaning  glance  at  Gusset,  who  kept 
her  eyes  fixed  upon  the  cards  and  remained  silent. 

"  As  for  my  part,"  said  Mr.  Lowe,  "  I  must  crave  Mr. 
Winkle's  pardon." 

"  What  for  ?  "  asked  Mr.  Winkle. 

"  I  thought  you  had  surely  observed  my  inexcusable  con 
duct,  sir,  at  the  moment  when  I  encountered  the  foe." 

"  It  was  my  salvation.  You  did  a  meritorious  action, 
which  I  shall  never  forget.  You  saved  my  life,  sir,  and  I 
would  be  happy  to  see  you  an  inmate  of  my  family,  sir.  Why 
not  abandon  your  little  tenement,  and  live  with  me  ?  You 
may  command  any  thing  that  is  mine,  sir." 

"  If  you  were  to  do  any  such  thing,"  said  Wilsome,  "  it 


A   SUICIDE.  69 

would  not  be  two  months  before  you  would  be  fit  for  a  mad 
house." 

"  Pooh,  sister !  "  said  Winkle,  "  you  have  your  cards,  your 
monkeys,  your  cats  and  parrots — every  thing  but  a  husband — 
and  I  have  my  peculiar  amusements.  Then  why  do  you  con 
tinually  denounce  my  diversions,  and  term  them  the  result  of 
insanity?  It  is  simply  because  you  have  an  idiosyncrasy 
yourself !  Oh,  I  have  been  reading  a  work  on  madness  !  I 
know  the  symptoms.  But,  Mr.  Lowe — I  know  you  are  not 
Sir  Hudson,  now — why  should  you  crave  my  pardon  ?  " 

"  For  my  laughter.  I  could  not  avoid  giving  vent  to  it 
when  T  met  you  borne  aloft  on  the  bull's  horn." 

"  Nor  no  human  being  could  have  refrained  from  it,"  said 
Miss  Wilsome,  smiling  significantly  at  her  partner. 

"  Lucy  refrained,  and  so  did  Miss  Griselda  !  "  said  Napo 
leon. 

"Gusset  thought  it  her  humble  duty  to  follow  Lucy's 
swooning  example — but  I  arrested  her  in  time." 

"  If  your  monkey  had  been  in  my  predicament,"  continued 
her  brother,  "  I  doubt  not  you  would  have  manifested  more 
concern." 

"  Jocko?  Bless  my  life  !  I  believe  I  came  away  without 
locking  his  chain  to  my  bed-post.  And  he  would  not  permit 
any  one  else  to  do  it !  I  shall  be  uneasy  until  I  get  back  to 
the  city." 

"  Here  are  the  city  papers,"  said  Mr.  Winkle,  taking  them 
from  the  hand  of  one  of  his  servants  just  returned  from  the 
village.  "  And  here  is  a  letter  for  you,  Wilsome.  Perhaps 
it  contains  some  account  of  your  dear  monkey." 

And  it  did.  The  old  lady,  in  her  eagerness  to  learn  the 
contents  of  the  letter,  forgetting  the  presence  of  her  partner, 
adjusted  her  glasses,  and  putting  down  the  cards,  read  as 
follows  : 

"  MY  DEAR  AUNT  : — It  becomes  my  melancholy  duty  to 
announce  a  sad  calamity — an  unexpected  suicide — which  must 
affect  you  deeply.  This  morning  poor  Jocko  was  found  sus 
pended  from  the  eve  of  the  portico,  and  quite  dead.  That  he 
did  it  himself,  must  be  evident  from  the  fact  that  no  human 
being  would  be  likely  to  climb  down  to  the  edge  of  the  roof. 
It  seems  that  he  had  driven  a  large  nail  into  the  wood  through 
the  last  link  of  his  chain,  and  then  sprang  over,  either  dislo- 


70  THE   WINKLES. 

cuting  his  neck,  or  producing  suffocation.  I  could  not  hear 
his  struggles,  from  the  distant  chamber  I  occupied,  or  you 
should  not  have  been  called  upon  to  lament  his  untimely  end. 
Poor  Jocko !  As  the  weather  is  very  warm,  I  will  have  his 
body  taken  down  and  packed  in  ice.  It  will  keep,  dear  aunt, 
until  I  receive  your  instructions,  in  regard  to  the  disposition 
you  would  have  made  of  it.  Every  thing  shall  be  done  ac 
cording  to  your  orders.  You  need  not  hasten  your  return  to 
the  city.  I  am  quite  comfortable  here,  and  the  house  is  kept 
very  quiet  from  morning  till  night.  My  love  to  mother,  sister, 
uncle,  all. 

Your  affectionate  Nephew, 

WALTER.  WINKLE. 

P.  S. — The  parrot  has  learnt  some  new  words.  He  must 
have  heard  the  neighbors  utter  them,  as  you  know  parrots 
merely  imitate  sounds  without  understanding  the  meaning  of 
language.  Tell  uncle  Napoleon  I  have  bought  him  another 
mortar  for  throwing  large  shells,  and  will  ship  it  immediately. 
Say  to  Mr.  Lowe,  I  have  found  some  flies  that  will  make  the 
trout  jump  into  the  grass.  Tell  old  Gusset  half  the  buttons 
are  off  the  shirts  she  made  me." 

"  Old  ?  The  ungrateful  whelp  !  "  cried  Gusset. 

"  Gusset ! "  said  Miss  Wilsome,  putting  down  the  letter 
which  she  had  been  unconsciously  reading  aloud,  and  weeping 
bitter  tears  all  the  while — "  how  dare  you  call  any  member  of 
my  family  a  whelp  ?  Do  you  forget  that  the  Winkles  made 
you  what  you  are  ?  " 

"  I  humbly  beg  pardon,  madam,"  said  Gusset,  in  a  quiver 
ing  voice.  "  I  was  merely  jesting." 

"  I  thought  so,  by  Jove  !  "  cried  the  emperor.  "  She  was 
not  in  earnest,  sister.  Miss  Griselda  is  famous  for  her  mild 
temper,  and  amiability  of  disposition.  And  Walter  meant 
nothing.  He  is  a  noble  boy — and  may  this  right  hand  forget 
its  cunning  when  I  forget  him " 

"  Walter  has  always  been  my  pet,"  said  Gusset. 

"  That's  right— love  him  for  my  sake." 

"  Bring  my  bonnet !  I  must  go  !  "  cried  Miss  Wilsome, 
rising.  u  I  shall  never  survive  it.  My  heart  is  broken.  Poor 
Jocko  !  " 

"  Don't,  sister,  don't  indulge  such  ridiculous  lamentations 


THE   EFFECT    OF    JOCKO'S   LOSS.  71 

over  a  nasty  monkey,  after  regarding  unmoved  the  narrow 
escape  of  your  brother  from  a  dreadful  death. " 

"  My  bonnet !  Brother,  Jocko  was  both  more  rational  and 
affectionate  than  yourself." 

"  I  supposed  you  would  say  so.  There  is  but  one  woman 
living  capable  of  appreciating  me " 

"  Who  ?  "  demanded  his  sister. 

"  Not  you — but  you  shall  know  some  of  these  days." 

"  Your  uncle  intends  to  marry,"  Lowe  whispered  in  Lucy's 
ear — "  and  it  may  be  the  wisest  thing  he  could  do,  for " 

"  Mr.  Lowe  !  "  said  Miss  Wilsome,  "  will  you  not  attend 
me  to  the  carriage  ?  " 

*{  Oh,  certainly  !  "  was  the  reply.  And  rising,  the  young 
gentleman  conducted  the  aunt  and  niece  out  of  the  room, 
leaving  Mr.  Napoleon  "Winkle  and  the  retired  milliner,  who 
had  won  the  rubber  at  last,  to  follow  at  their  leisure.  But 
their  leisure  seeming  to  be  too  much  prolonged,  Miss  Wil 
some  despatched  several  messengers  to  hasten  them;  and 
Gusset  was  finally  handed  into  the  coach  by  no  less  a  gallant 
than  the  great  proprietor  of  the  palace. 

During  the  drive  back  to  the  village,  Lucy  and  Lowe  con 
jecturing  the  nature  of  each  other's  thoughts — the  tragical 
end  of  the  monkey — could  not  avoid  exchanging  mirthful 
glances,  which  being  perceived  by  Miss  Wilsome,  they  were 
rebuked  in  this  manner. 

"  How  indifferent  you  both  seem  to  my  affliction.  Jocko 
was  dearer  to  me  than  many  a  husband  is  to  his  wife.  He 
was  obedient,  silent,  and  watchful ;  and  quite  as  handsome  as 
some  of  the  beaux  who  captivate  our  poor  hearts.  In  another 
year  I  would  have  learnt  him  to  play  whist,  and  then  I  should 
have  been  contented  with  my  lot.  I  suppose  the  law  would 
not  have  permitted  him  to  have  my  fortune — and  in  that  case 
you  would  have  inherited  it,  Lucy.  But  now  I  have  lost  my 
Jocko,  and  you  a  fortune — for  I  will  certainly  marry." 

Lucy  and  Lowe  strove  to  elongate  their  faces  upon  hearing 
this  announcement — but  in  vain. 


72  THE    WINKLES. 

CHAPTER    VIII. 

MATKIMONIAL  SALLIES— WAK  AND  WOMEN. 

ARRIVED  at  the  cottage  of  Mrs.  Winkle  in  Babbleton,  the 
company  dispersed  as  follows.  Gusset,  who  had  not  opened 
her  mouth,  although  her  eyes  looked  volumes,  since  she  had 
been  escorted  down  the  broad  stairway  of  the  chateau  by  the 
emperor,  hastened  away  on  foot  to  her  own  domicile,  without 
once  casting  a  glance  behind.  Edmund  Lowe,  after  assisting 
the  ladies  to  alight,  strode  deliberately  across  the  street  to 
his  own  dwelling.  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle,  with  a  freshet  of 
tears,  washing  gullies  through  the  paint  on  her  cheeks,  has 
tened  up  to  her  chamber  to  enjoy  in  solitude  the  luxury  of 
mourning  the  loss  of  a  beloved  object. 

Mrs.  Winkle,  drawing  Lucy's  arm  through  her  own,  led 
her  into  the  rear  sitting  room,  laughing  at  the  aspect  of  her 
sister-in-law,  and  at  the  mishap  of  her  brother,  which  had  been 
narrated  to  her  by  an  eye-witness. 

"  Sit  down,  Lucy,"  said  the  merry  widow.  "  I  am  glad 
we  are  alone.  You  must  know,  that  while  you  have  been 
enjoying  yourselves  in  the  country,  I  have  been  entertained  in 
town.  Mr.  Ralph  Roland  has  spent  several  hours  with  me — 
child !  why  do  you  turn  pale  at  the  mention  of  his  name  ? 
No  !  my  eyes  deceived  me — you  have  a  beautiful  color — but 
surely  I  can  hear  the  beating  of  your  heart.  I  say  Mr.  Ro 
land  was  here,  and " 

"  Proposed  to  marry  me.     Was  it  not  so,  mother  ?  :> 

"  No — not  precisely  so.  But  he  desired  my  permission  to 
woo  you." 

"  And  did  he  obtain  it  ?  " 

"  Not  positively.  But  I  promised  to  confer  with  you.  I 
thought  the  fellow  was  addressing  Virginia  Oakdale." 

"  He  addresses  all  who  will  permit  him.  I  cannot  permit 
him  to  address  me,  mother.  There  is  something  in  his  smile, 
in  his  looks,  in  his  attitudes  and  movements,  which  fills  me 
with  dread  and  dislike." 

"  He  is  somewhat  advanced  in  years,  too ;  I  think  he 
must  be  forty.  My  dear  child,  never  think  I  would  desire 
you  to  agree  to  any  match  repugnant  to  your  inclinations. 


LUCY'S  SCRUPLES.  73 

Nevertheless,  Roland  is  called  a  handsome  man — is  rich,  and 
if  not  popular,  it  is  thought,  notwithstanding,  his  party  will 
succeed  in  electing  him  to  Congress.  On  the  other  hand,  my 
child,  it  is  my  duty  to  apprise  you  that  you  have  no  fortune. 
Even  this  little  property  is  mortgaged  for  four  thousand  dol 
lars — and  the  mortgage  is  held  by  Mr.  Roland " 

"Oh,  mother!"  cried  Lucy. 

"  Why  do  you  tremble  so?  why  this  alarm,  my  dear  Lucy? 
Have  we  not  been  merry  in  our  poverty?  Wealth  could  not 
have  made  us  more  happy.  Besides,  we  are  not  so  destitute 
as  to  be  altogether  dependent.  Old  Dibble,  our  gardener, 
has  sold  eight  hundred  dollars  worth  of  vegetables  since  win 
ter.  He  has  found  out  all  about  my  condition,  and  this  mort 
gage  too,  and  he  says  there  is  always  a  balance  to  our  credit 
in  bank  sufficient  to  pay  the  interest." 

"  Thank  heaven  !  Then  he  cannot  distress  us  ! "  said 
Lucy. 

"Who,  child?" 

"  Roland.  Mother,  he  is  a  bad  man,  and  I  would  not  be  in 
his  power  for  worlds.  But  we  need  not  be  alarmed.  Uncle 
Napoleon " 

"  Mr.  Roland  informs  me  that  it  is  the  determination  of 
your  uncle  to  marry.  If  this  be  so,  we  must  not  rely  upon 
receiving  further  aid  from  that  quarter.  Your  uncle,  I  know, 
has  a  very  generous  disposition ;  but  his  wife  may  be  different 
ly  constituted.  Your  aunt " 

"  Oh,  mother,  she  too  is  resolved  to  marry.  She  announ 
ced  her  purpose  to-day." 

"  Married  or  single — she  could  never  be  relied  on.  She 
has  too  many  strange  caprices  of  minor  importance,  to  bestow 
a  thought  upon  the  necessities  of  her  relatives.  Besides,  she 
never  can  be  convinced  that  your  father  lost  his  fortune.  She 
cannot  conceive  how  it  could  be  possible  for  the  most  re 
spected  and  ablest  member  of  her  family  to  lose  his  patri 
mony." 

"  Then,  mother,"  said  Lucy.  "  I  fear  the  worst  I  " 

"  Fear  nothing.  If  Roland  supposes  that  our  destitution 
may  make  you  submissive  to  a  matrimonial  project  not  having 
your  hearty  concurrence " 

"  Mother — I  despise  the  man  !  "  said  Lucy,  proudly,  and 
decisively. 


74  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Enough,  Lucy.  He  shall  be  properly  answered.  But, 
my  child,  we  must  be  kind  and  respectful.  Remember " 

"  The  mortgage !  yes,  I  will  remember  it,  mother — and 
for  your  sake,  I  will  endeavor  not  to  offend  him." 

"  For  my  sake,  Lucy  !  "  cried  Mrs.  Winkle,  laughing  very 
heartily.  "  Why  I  have  no  fears.  Providence  will  not  for 
sake  me.  Old  Dibble  and  his  son  never  fail  to  raise  enormous 
crops  of  potatoes,  cabbages,  peas,  etc.,  when  such  things  are 
scarce  and  high.  I  suppose  if  we  pay  the  interest,  there  can 
be  no  danger  of  being  turned  adrift.  And  yet,  my  child,  Mr. 
Roland  named  one  thing  which  caused  me  a  pang  of  fearful 
apprehension." 

"  What  was  it,  mother  ?  " 

"  His  belief  that  our  pale  neighbor,  Mr.  Lowe,  had  a 
design  upon  your  heart." 

"  I  thought  so  !     He  said  the  same  thing  to  me." 

"  To  you  ?  He  did  not  mention  having  conversed  with 
you  in  relation  to  such  matters  ?  " 

"  He  had  an  interview  with  me,  first ;  and  if  I  had  sanc 
tioned  his  pretensions,  he  would  never  have  sought  your  ap 
probation.  I  repulsed  him,  mother.  I  told  him,  also,  that 
my  decision  so  unhesitatingly  pronounced,  was  irrevocable  and 
final  |  and  then  it  was  that  he  mentioned  Mr.  Lowe." 

"  He  says  there  arc  strange  reports  in  circulation  regard 
ing  him,  which,  if  true " 

"  Ay,  if  true,  mother !  No  doubt  they  have  been  fabri 
cated  by  Roland  himself,  or  some  of  the  vile  creatures  he 
employs  to  subserve  his  base  purposes !  " 

"  Lucy,  you  speak  with  great  zeal  in  behalf  of  this  stran 
ger.  Ha  !  ha  ! — what  would  be  the  effect  on  him,  if  he  were  a 
listener  !  " 

"  He  would  hear  a  friend  repelling  the  wicked  aspersions 
of  his  enemies." 

"  But  how  do  you  know  the  reports  are  false  ?  " 

"  I  do  not  know  it,  mother — I  merely  believe  him  inno 
cent,  until  proofs  are  produced  to  prove  the  contrary." 

"  That  is  right,  Lucy.  It  seems  to  me  that  no  stain  of 
guilt  could  be  stamped  upon  a  brow  so  fair — of  one  so  ingen 
uous.  Yet  I  would  not  have  my  daughter's  happiness  depend 
upon  the  guilt  or  innocence  of  a  stranger." 

"  Do  not  fear  it,  mother.     Depend  upon  it  your  daughter 


MORE    PLOTTINGS.  75 

would  be  incapable  of  taking  any  irretrievable  step  without 
your  advice  and  concurrence." 

"  Enough — enough  !  "  cried  Mrs.  Winkle,  embracing  her 
beautiful  Lucy,  and  smiling  through  her  tears. 

"  Ma,  I  hear  aunt  Wilsome  descending  the  stairs.  Let 
her  not  find  us  discomposed."  Her  mother  responded  by 
hearty  laughter. 

"  I  shall  go  distracted ! "  said  Miss  Wilsome,  the  recent 
inroads  on  her  cheeks  having  been  carefully  repaired  before 
the  mirror  in  her  chamber.  u  What  shall  we  do?" 

"Play,  of  course,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle.  "I'll  send  for 
Gusset,  and  we  four  will  have  a  game." 

"  Very  good,"  cried  Wilsome,  "  we  must  not  exact  too 
much  of  Mr.  Lowe's  time.  He  is  a  perfect  gentleman, 
sister." 

"  I  am  very  glad  you  think  so,  Wilsome,"  was  Mrs.  Win 
kle's  reply,  u  because  a  great  many  people  think  differently. 
They  suspect  him  of  being  an  impostor,  and  guilty  of  all  man 
ner  of  crimes." 

"  Sister,"  said  Wilsome,  with  great  energy  of  voice,  and 
placing  her  hand  on  Mrs.  Winkle's  shoulder,  "I  am  glad  to 
hear  it." 

"  Aunt  Wilsome  !  "  exclaimed  Lucy. 

"  Nay,  child — only  glad  to  hear  the  silly  gossips  are  cir 
culating  such  ridiculous  lies.  Do  not,  for  the  world,  contra 
dict  any  of  them.  Let  them  talk — let  them  hate  him.  We 
shall  then  have  a  monopoly  of  his  society.  We  care  not  what 
the  vulgar  herd  of  shopkeepers  and  milliners  may  say  of  us. 
I  will  spend  more  of  my  time  in  your  pleasant  village  than 
formerly,  since  I  am  not  to  be  comforted  any  more  by  Jocko. 
My  house  will  be  desolate  now,  unless  I  can  prevail  on  Mr. 
Lowe  to  be  a  frequent  visitor.  But  send  for  Gusset." 

Biddy  was  despatched  on  the  errand,  but  soon  returned 
alone,  and  with  looks  of  wonder. 

"  Why  did  she  not  come,  Biddy  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  She  says  why  don't  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle  come  to  her 
house  ?  " 

"  What !  What's  that  ?  "  cried  Miss  Wilsome,  her  fore 
head  as  red  as  her  cheeks. 

"  She  says  why  don't  you  visit  her  ?  and  she  has  called  on 
you  once,  and  it's  now  your  turn  to  call  on  her." 

"  The  impudent  hussy  !  "  said  Miss  Wilsome,  in  great  in- 


76  THE   WINKLES. 

dignation.  "  Is  the  innocent,  humble,  obedient,  grateful  mil 
liner  our  family  brought  from  the  city,  where  she  was  destitute 
of  a  second  chemise  for  her  back " 

"  Pause  there,  sister,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  "  and  let  us 
ascertain  if  there  be  not  some  mistake  in  Biddy's  version.  If 
it  be  true,  madness  is  an  epidemic — and  she  has  caught  it. 
Lucy,  it  is  not  yet  quite  dark.  Go  and  see  Gusset.  Tell  her 
what  Biddy  has  said,  and  hear  what  she  can  allege  in  ex 
planation." 

Lucy  departed  without  delay,  and  returned  while  her  aunt 
yet  shuffled  the  cards. 

"  You  look  wild,  Lucy !  "  said  her  mother. 

"  Do  I  ?  "  replied  Lucy.  "  I  hope  I  shall  not  be  the  next 
victim.  Gusset  is  truly  in  a  strange  way.  She  will  not 
come " 

"  Then  I'll  go  to  her,  and  know  the  reason  why  she  is 
putting  on  these  airs  !  "  said  Miss  Wilsome,  rising. 

"  No,  aunt — she  would  only  fret  you.  She  does  not  desire 
the  company  of  any  one  to-night,  if  what  she  told  me  be 
true." 

"  What  was  that  ?  "  asked  her  aunt. 

"  That  she  is  to  be  married  to-morrow." 

"  Married  to-morrow  !  "  said  the  old  maid,  lifting  up  her 
hands. 

"  And  she  hopes  we  will  attend  her  wedding  at  the  church. 
Mr.  Amble,  the  minister,  was  present." 

"  And  did  he  hear  what  she  said  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  He  did,  and  did  not  seem  surprised." 

"  Then  it  is  true,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  True  !  "  cried  the  old  maid,  her  hands  still  aloft.  "  Who's 
to  be  the  bridegroom  ?  " 

"  She  did  not  say.     I  forgot  to  ask." 

"  Attend  the  wedding  !  and  in  church  !  Mr.  Amble  will 
get  no  fifty  dollars  from  me  to  repair  the  parsonage " 

"  But,  aunt,  you  have  already  given  him  a  check." 

"  Have  I  ?  So  I  did.  I  shall  tell  the  bank  not  to  pay  it. 
Marry  indeed  !  and  to  an  ambling  priest " 

"  Bless  your  life,  sister,"  interposed  Mrs.  Winkle,  "  Mr. 
Ambler  is  not  to  be  the  man.  He  is  married  already,  and  has 
thirteen  children." 

"  I  thought  he  was  a  widower.  Thirteen  !  What  a  fool ! 
What  is  the  world  coming  to  ?  Who's  that  ?  " 


THE   EMPEROR    WISHES   TO   MARRY.  77 

This  question  was  asked  of  Biddy,  who  peeped  in  timidly 
from  the  hall. 

"  Dill  Bizzle,"  said  she. 

"  Bill  Dizzle  !  "  said  Lucy,  smiling,  "  why  won't  you  learn 
to  announce  him  correctly,  Biddy  ?  " 

"  Yes,  mam — and — and  Sargent  Blore." 

"  I  thought  I  heard  his  wooden  leg,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 
"  Tell  them  to  come  in,  Biddy." 

Bill  entered  first,  being  pushed  forward  by  the  sergeant, 
who  seemed  to  approach  with  hesitation  and  embarrassment. 
However,  he  ventured  at  length  to  stand  forth,  hat  in  hand, 
and  in  his  full  military  dress,  some  portions  of  which  having 
a  slight  resemblance  to  the  uniform  of  the  "  old  guard."  And 
Bill,  too,  seemed  to  have  been  somewhat  furbished  for  the 
occasion.  His  shirt  collar  was  tolerably  white,  and  his  face 
seemed  to  have  been  washed  since  the  adventure  in  the  ditch. 

"  Dizzle,  what  is  your  will  with  us  ? "  demanded  Mrs. 
Winkle. 

"  Nothing,  mam,"  said  Bill.  "  I  only  came  'cause  Sar 
gent  Blore  wanted  me  as  one  of  his  guards,  as  he  never  was 
here  by  himself." 

"  The  brave  sergeant  surely  is  not  afraid  of  the  ladies  ?  " 
said  Lucy. 

"  That's  it !  "  replied  Bill,  with  a  quizzical  smile,  and  cast 
ing  a  side  glance  at  Blore,  whose  solitary  eye  rolled  and  blinked 
in  evident  trepidation. 

"_I  am  as  bold  as  a  lion  to  men,  if  you  please,  miss,"  said 
Blore  ;  "  but  I  own  I  am  no  match  for  the  ladies.  I  can 
fight,  but  I  can't  talk.  I  can  lead  a  charge  against  an  iron 
battery,  but  I  can't  face  a  woman's  tongue." 

"  Were  you  ever  married,  sergeant  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  Yes,  madam.  And  that  is  the  way  I  found  out  how 
bitter  a  thing  it  is  to  be  stormed  by  a  woman's  tongue. 

"  But  all  wives  are  not  vixens.     What  became  of  yours  ?  " 

"  I  retreated — left  her — and  have  never  heard  of  her  since. 
The  last  time.  I  saw  her  was  when  Blucher  came  up  on  our 
right  at  Waterloo.  But  I  am  afraid  she'll  overtake  me  yet. 
I'm  sure  she'll  never  die.  She  didn't  mind  the  whistling  of 
bullets  and  bursting  of  bombs.  She  was  as  brave  as  Ney — 
and  could  not  be  killed.  I  would  just  as  soon  meet  the  devil 
— I  beg  pardon — may -be  it's  true  that  all  women  are  not  the 


*78  THE   WINKLES. 

''What  does  Mr.  Winkle  think  of  them  ?"  asked  Mrs 
Winkle. 

"  That's  why  I'm  here.  He  thinks  pretty  much  as  I  do 
— but  he  hopes  there's  one  good  one  in  the  world,  and  that  he 
may  have  her  for  his  share." 

"  His  old  cook  and  housekeeper,"  said  Dizzle,  "  are 
snappers." 

"  Snappers  ?  what  are  they  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  Big-headed  mud  turtles  that  snap  at  every  thing  that 
comes  in  their  way,  and  they  won't  let  go  till  it  thunders." 

"  Why  does  not  my  brother-in-law  discharge  those  dis 
agreeable  women?  "  asked  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  It  would  do  no  good,"  said  Blore.  u  The  new  ones  that 
filled  their  places,  as  soon  as  they  found  out  that  he  was  ter 
rified  at  the  sound  of  a  scolding  tongue,  would  begin  to  ding 
at  him,  and  keep  on  until  they  got  him  under  their  thumbs." 

"  I  always  supposed  it  was  his  indulgent  nature,  and  not 
dread  or  fear,  that  caused  him  to  tolerate  those  impudent  ser 
vants,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  You  were  wrong,  then,"  said  Miss  Wilsome.  "  This  man 
is  right.  I  was  the  only  one  of  the  family  that  could  silence 
the  maids.  If  you  had  endeavored  to  rule  your  husband  by 
a  few  good  tongue  lashings,  you  would  have  succeeded.  But 
you " 

"  I  never  desired  it !  "  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  Your  husband  was  a  fortunate  man.  He  used  to  say  so. 
And  Napoleon  will  never  marry  unless  he  can  have  some 
guarantee  that  his  wife  will  not  attempt  to  control  his  actions. 
And  no  woman  in  her  senses  would  have  him  unless  she  knew 
she  could  change  his  abominable  habits." 

"  Beg  pardon,  madam,"  said  Blore,  making  a  military  sa 
lute,"  but  the  emperor  wishes  to  contract  with  a  wife  for  the 
purpose  of  subjugating  the  housekeeper  and  cook,  who  are 
always  tyrannizing  over  him.  And  I  am  come  here  without 
his  knowledge,  to  ask  some  confidential  questions  about  the 
woman  he  intends  to  marry.  I  hope  she's  not  one  of  the  Tar 
tars,  and  that  you  all  can  tell  me  so." 

"  Who  do  you  mean  !  "  asked  the  ladies,  altogether. 

"  Miss  Grisly  Guzzle,  or  something  of  that  sort." 

"  Gusset — ma — Gusset !  It  is  true  !  That  is  the  solution 
of  her  extraordinary  conduct !  "  said  Lucy.  Miss  Wilsome 's 
eyes  dilated  until  her  face  was  all  eyes  and  mouth,  the  latter 


THE   OBJECT    OF    HIS    AFFECTIONS.  79 

nearly  as  wide  open  as  the  former.  Mrs.  Winkle  only  leaned 
back  and  shook  her  sides  with  excessive  laughter. 

"  Yes,  miss,"  continued  Blore,  ''and  I  do  hope  and  pray 
she  won't  turn  out  to  be  a  savage  like  my  wife,  Mrs.  Thomas, 
did."  My  name  is  Thomas  Blore,  but  they  called  me  at  that 
time  only  Mr.  Thomas — the  Thomases  were  Jews  then,  and 
my  lady  thought  she  was  getting  a  fortune.  When  we  were 
defeated  at  Waterloo,  and  Mrs.  Thomas  fell  into  the  hands  of 
the  victors,  I  dropt  the  Thomas  with  my  leg  and  arm,  and 
took  up  my  other  name  with  my  wooden  limbs  to  keep  from 
being  traced  by  my  wife,  if  she  escaped,  which  I  felt  pretty 
certain  she  would  do.  There  were  a  number  of  Thomases 
killed,  and  I  hoped  she  would  count  me  as  one  of  'em.  I've 
never  heard  of  her  since,  and  pray  heaven  I  may  never  meet 
her  hereafter." 

"  The  cars  go  at  nine  o'clock,"  said  Miss  Wilsome,  at 
length  finding  utterance.  u  Sister — Lucy — let  us  pack  up 
and  leave  this  abominable  place  !  You  shall  live  with  me, 
provided  you  pledge  yourselves  never  to  look  at,  speak  to,  or 
have  any  sort  of  correspondence  with  my  brother  or  any  mem 
ber  of  his  family.  He  is  about  to  disgrace  himself  irretriev 
ably.  And  that  wile  wretch,  Gusset " 

"  Then  we  are  all  to  be  fried  in  purgatory  ! "  said  poor 
Blore.  "  She's  a  wile  wretch,  is  she  ?  I'll  live  in  my  tent  at 
the  new  barracks  we  are  to  have  at  Boulogne,  where  the  Brit 
ish  landed.  But  our  chief  will  go  mad,  if  his  wife  forms  a 
triple  alliance  with  the  cook  and  housekeeper." 

"  There  is  no  probability  of  that,  sergeant,"  said  Mrs. 
Winkle.  "  The  mistress  of  the  house,  and  particularly  in 
cases  like  this,  when  she  is  elevated  to  a  position  of  more  im 
portance  than  any  to  which  she  has  been  previously  accus 
tomed,  very  naturally  supposes  it  her  duty  to  see  that  no 
one  shares  her  authority.  Miss  G-usset  is  a  clear-headed 
woman,  and  may,  if  I  am  not  mistaken  in  her  character,  con 
tribute  to  my  brother's  happiness,  and  promote  the  economy 
of  his  establishment.  She  has  never  been  accustomed  to  the 
luxuries  of  life,  and  therefore  should  not  be  extravagant. 
Her  walk  has  been  an  humble  one,  and  hence  she  should  be 
meek  and  amiable." 

Blore  began  to  dance,  with  delight,  pointing  out  his  wooden 
leg,  and  whistling  a  martial  tune,  when  he  was  cut  short  by 
Miss  Wilsome. 


80  THE   WINKLES. 

^  "  It  will  be  just  the  reverse  of  what  you  suppose,  sister," 
said  she.  "  Your  own  invariable  good  nature  leads  you  into 
error.  The  hussy  would  never  break  out  in  your  presence. 
Before  you,  there  was  always  the  same  mild,  smiling,  defe 
rential  aspect.  I  have  seen  more  of  the  world  than  you  have, 
and  I  tell  you  she  will  be  the  reverse  of  what  you  suppose. 
She  will  subdue  the  servants,  and  you,  too,  Blore — and,  then 
she  will  grind  my  brother's  nose  to  the  brain,  until  he  surren 
ders  unconditionally.  She  will  squander  his  money,  set  up  a 
fashionable  equipage,  frown  with  haughty  contempt  on  her  old 
associates,  and  seek  the  company  of  none  but  her  superiors, 
who  will  drink  her  wines,  and  laugh  at  her  folly  behind  her 
back.  No  !  Republican  or  not  republican,  it  is  a  monstrous 
absurdity  to  lift  either  men  or  women  out  of  their  proper 
sphere." 

"  Aunt,"  said  Lucy,  "  you  agree  with  Mr.  Lowe.  He  says 
the  man  of  a  truly  tall  stature,  never  gazes  upward  for  con 
genial  faces ;  but  that  the  one  who  fancies  himself  to  be  above 
all  others,  gives  evidence  that  he  has  been  accustomed  only  to 
low  companions." 

"  Mr.  Lowe  will  never  marry  a  milliner.  But  enough. 
I  renounce  my  brother  for  ever.  Let  us  depart.  Bring  my 
bonnet." 

"  The  cars  are  gone,"  said  Bill  Dizzle. 

"  Is  there  not  an  early  boat  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

f  In  it  will  I  go,  before  these  disgraceful  nuptials  are  cele 
brated.  You  will  go  with  me,  sister  and  niece  ?  " 

"  Oh  no  !  "  said  Mrs.  Winkle.  "  We  cannot  abandon  our 
home  because  your  brother  chooses  to  marry  little  Gusset." 

li  And  do  you  intend  to  witness  the  ceremony  ?  " 

"  Why  not  ?  If  I  could  prevent  the  wedding  I  would  do 
so,  most  assuredly,  because  I  think  it  ill-assorted  and  unne 
cessary.  But  as  no  intervention  of  mine  would  be  of  any 
avail,  I  don't  see  why  we  should  be  offended.  Lucy  and  I 
will  go  to  the  church,  and  I  hope  you  will  send  home  Walter 
in  time  to  accompany  us — that  is,  if  you  are  determined  to 
leave  us." 

"  Determined !  Talk  of  the  Medes  and  Persians !  I 
shall  turn  my  back  on  the  whole  breed  of  you.  Blore,  I  wish 
I  could  drop  a  part  of  my  name,  as  you  did,  and  escape  in  the 


HER   CHARACTER   CRITICIZED.  81 

same  manner.  I  am  Miss  Winkle,  and  Gusset  is  to  be  Mrs. 
Winkle — the  name  of  my  high-bred  mother !  " 

"  Pardon,  miss,"  said  Blore,  "  but  you  might  remedy  that. 
You  could  marry,  and  I'm  sure  your  new  name  wouldn't  be  a 
low  one " 

l"  What  do  you  mean,  sir  ?  No  puns  !  But  I'm  sure  you 
didn't  mean  it." 

"  No,  upon  my  honor — I  meant  nothing  offensive.  And 
I'm  truly  sorry  to  hear  you  declare  war  against  us  all.  If 
you  would  only  stay  a  month  or  so  at  the  palace,  and  fight  on 
our  side,  no  doubt  we  might  humble  this  enemy " 

"  No,  sir.  Before  a  week  is  over,  the  artful  wretch  will 
lead  my  brother  about  by  a  ribbon  as  easily  as  I  did  my  mon 
key  by  his  chain.  She  will  make  you  all  slaves  !  Go,  and 
prepare  for  the  worst." 

Blore  and  Dizzle  withdrew,  the  former  in  great  despon 
dency,  and  both  maintaining  a  strict  silence,  until  they  stood 
at  the  gate  which  led  into  Lowe's  kitchen. 

It  had  been  Blore's  purpose,  and  the  principal  object  of 
his  secret  mission,  in  the  event  of  hearing  a  favorable  report 
of  the  temper  of  his  lord's  spouse,  to  pay  a  visit  to  Lowe's 
housekeeper,  Mrs.  Edwards,  of  whom  he  had  conceived  a  good 
opinion  in  consequence  of  their  congeniality  of  tastes.  He 
had  never  seen  her  ;  but  from  the  moment  Dizzle  divulged 
her  fondness  for  frogs,  Blore  had  formed  a  favorable  estimate 
of  her  discernment. 

"  Come  ahead,"  said  Dizzle,  opening  the  gate. 

"  Perhaps  I  had  better  retreat,"  said  Blore,  hesitating. 
"  Many  a  poor  fellow  under  cover  of  the  night,  marches  upon 
a  masked  battery,  and  is  blown  to  the  devil.  It  is  nobler  and 
braver,  and  safer  too,  to  face  the  enemy  in  the  broad  day 
light.  But  do  you  think  she'll  be  willing  ?  " 

"I  don't  know  anything  about  such  things,"  said  Bill. 
"  When  I  told  her  you  would  be  hunting  after  her,  all  I  saw 
was  her  face  turn  red  as  fire,  and  Mr.  Lowe  a  laughing. "  Bill 
did  not  remember  her  words,  or  the  broom  handle  she  flour 
ished — for  he  thought  only  of  the  accommodating  Patty. 

"  We'll  scale  the  ramparts/'  said  Blore.  ."  If  she  should 
be  a  vixen,  who  knows  but  she  may  be  a  match  for  the  chief's 
mistress,  and  help  to  keep  the  garrison  in  order  ?  Go  in  first, 
Dizzle,"  he  continued,  when  they  arrived  in  front  of  the  kitchen 
door,  "  and  reconnoitre.  You  shall  have  that  honor — an  honor 


82  THE   WINKLES. 

I  never  yielded  to  any  man  before.     But  bayonets  and  women's 
tongues  are  very  different  things." 

"  And  so  is  frog  spears,"  said  Bill,  lifting  the  latch  and 
opening  the  door  very  cautiously.  Seeing  the  coast  clear  they 
both  entered,  and  were  made  comfortable  by  the  kindly  greet 
ing  of  Patty  O'Pan,  and  who  assured  the  sergeant  that  Mrs. 
Edwards  was  in  a  very  agreeable  humor  that  evening,  and  had 
not  scolded  her  since  dinner. 

The  sergeant,  then,  that  his  operations  might  be  commenced 
in  due  form,  sent  Patty  to  her  master  with  his  compliments, 
and  asking  the  favor  to  be  permitted  to  have  a  short  conver 
sation  with  his  honor,  on  a  matter  of  importance.  The  re 
quest  was  immediately  granted  ;  and  when  Blore  entered 
Lowe's  library  he  beheld,  for  the  first  time,  the  object  of  his 
solicitation,  Mrs.  Edwards  herself,  who  was  dusting  the  books 
and  adjusting  the  window  curtains  with  an  unsteady  hand. 
At  the  name  of  Blore,  she  recollected  the  intimation  that  had 
been  thrown  out  by  Dizzle  ;  and  although  there  was  a  recur 
rence  of  her  resentful  emotions,  they  seemed  now  to  be  devel 
oped  in  a  less  violent  form,  and  so  she  resolved  to  face  the 
sergeant's  assault,  if  it  should  be  his  purpose  to  commence  any 
serious  matrimonial  approaches. 

"  Sit  down,  sir ;  I  am  glad  to  see  you  at  my  house,  ser 
geant,"  said  Lowe,  after  witnessing  one  of  Blore's  most  cere 
monious  bows. 

"  Thank  you  sir — but " 

Here  he  was  interrupted  in  his  speech  by  Mrs.  Edwards, 
who  no  sooner  heard  his  voice,  than  she  turned  round  upon 
him,  opened  her  mouth,  and  uttered  screams  in  such  quick 
succession,  and  with  such  startling  energy,  that  even  her  mas 
ter  rose  up  in  utter  astonishment,  and  applied  his  hand  to  his 
ears. 

Blore  sprang  from  his  chair  and  attempted  to  make  a  pre 
cipitate  retreat,  but  he  was  met  at  the  door  by  Dizzle  and 
Patty,  and  was  prostrated  by  the  collision.  He  now  lay  upon 
his  back,  his  wooden  leg  pointed  upward  in  an  attitude  of 
defence,  or  as  a  cheval  de  frise  to  repulse  an  apprehended  at 
tack. 

"  What  does  this  mean  ? "  demanded  Lowe,  when  Mrs. 
Edwards'  screams  died  away,  and  she  sank  fainting  on  a 
chair 


THE  SERGEANT'S  LAMENTATIONS.  83 

"  The  she-devil  aint  dead  !  "  said  Blore,  rolling  his  eye 
fearfully. 

"  She-devil !  Who's  a  she-devil  1  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Ed 
wards,  rising  quickly,  and  approaching  the  prostrate  soldier. 

"  Quarter  !  "  cried  he,  "  I  surrender  !  " 

"  What  does  this  mean  ?  "  again  demanded  Lowe. 

"'It  means,  sir,  that  that  fragment  of  a  'uman  being  'as 
come  to  hour  'ouse  a  courting — and  the  widow  Hedwards  his 
is  wife  !  " 

"  It's  true,  your  honor.  When  I  was  in  the  army  I  married 
an  English  woman " 

"  Henglish  is  as  good  as  hother  folks,"  said  Mrs,  Edwards. 

"  At  Waterloo,"  continued  Blore,  "  I  thought  all  was  lost, 
and  she  among  the  rest " 

<l  You  houtrageous— " 

li  To  be  certain  of  it,"  continued  Blore,  "  I  had  my  own 
name  printed  among  the  dead." 

"  And  that  haccounts  for  your  not  being  Thomas,  now," 
said  Mrs.  Edwards. 

tl  I  see,"  said  Lowe;  "and  you  have  unexpectedly  found 
your  wife.  But,  Edwards,  why  are  you  not  the  widow 
Thomas  ?  " 

"  Bless  your  soul,  don't  you  know  I  married  the  drummer 
Edwards  in  Lord  Hilton's  regiment,  and  that  he  was  lost  hover- 
board  on  hour  way  to  Hamerica  ?  " 

u  True.  Enough  of  that.  Then  as  your  last  marriage 
was  illegal,  you  remain  of  course  the  lawful  wife  of  the  ser 
geant." 

"  Pardon,  sir,"  said  the  sergeant.  "  My  name  is  Thomas 
Blore,  but  as  they  called  me  Mr.  Thomas,  and  she  married  me 
as  Mr.  Thomas,  and  was  always  Mrs.  Thomas  herself " 

"  You  think,"  said  Lowe,  smiling,  "  she  has  no  right  to  be 
Mrs.  Blore  ?  " 

"  That  is  the  point,  sir,"  said  the  sergeant. 

"  It  may  be  decided  against  you,"  said  Lowe,  "  if  she 
chooses  to  claim  her  own." 

"  Ave  you  made  hany  thing  for  yourself?  "  demanded  the 
housekeeper,  approaching  the  sergeant,  who  had  lowered  his 
leg. 

"  I  am  second  in  command  of  the  garrison,  and  have  laid 
up  a  thousand  dollars.  One  half  shall  be  yours  if  you  will 
say  nothing " 


84  THE    WINKLES. 

«  No— I'll  'ave  it  hall !  "  said  she— "  hall  that  a  'usband 
howns  belongs  to  the  wife.  But  I  won't  live  with  you  hif  you 
behave  yourself,  and  hobey  me.  I  don't  want  to  leave  my 
young " 

"  I  will  write  the  articles  of  settlement,"  said  Lowe, 
quickly.  "  And,  truly,  sergeant,  I  think  it  would  be  unrea 
sonable  in  you,  having  yielded  up  two  limbs  and  one  eye  to 
glory,  to  claim  your  wife  after  so  long  a  separation " 

"  Claim  the  devil !  "  cried  Blore,  leaping  up.  "  Pardon, 
sir, — no  offence  to  you.  But  I  wouldn't  be  guilty  of  so  un 
reasonable  a  thing.  I  will  sign,  sir.  Sign  any  thing  to  be  rid 
of  her.  Come,  Dizzle.  Confound  these  night  sallies  !  Fix 
it,  Mr.  Lowe.  I'll  sign.  Only  let  me  get  once  more  under 
cover  of  the  fort !  " 

Thus  terminated  the  sergeant's  long  meditated  sortie  upon 
a  matrimonial  expedition. 

"  Hif  you  pleases,  sir,"  said  Mrs.  Edwards,  when  the 
others  had  departed,  "  I  ham  disposed  to  be  hagreeable.  Put 
down  the  five  'undred." 

"  I  doubt  the  justice  of  it,  Edwards.  Besides  you  do  not 
need  his  money.  I  will  provide  for  you.  You  have  served 
me  faithfully,  and  I  shall  have  it  in  my  power  to  reward  you. 
See  Dizzle,  and  Patty,  and  cause  them  to  be  silent  on  the  sub 
ject  of  this  discovery." 

"  I  will  do  hexactly  has  your  honor  hadvises,"  said  the 
old  housekeeper,  as  she  hastened  away  to  the  kitchen. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

WILSOME  KETUKNS  TO  TOWN,  AND  GIVES  THE  POET  A  CHECK— MK. 
SNOBSON. 

Miss  WILSOME,  true  to  her  inflexible  purpose,  left  Babbleton 
the  next  morning  by  the  early  boat,  and  was  put  down  at  her 
mansion  at  precisely  half-past  ten  o'clock  A.  M.,  the  hour  ap 
pointed  for  the  wedding.  She  had  Davy  Dibble,  the  son  of 
the  widow's  gardener,  along  with  her,  carrying  the  torn  cat. 
Snapper,  her  coachman,  opened  the  door. 

"  He's   buried,  mam,"    said   he,  naturally  supposing   the 


A   NICE   FUNERAL.  85 

death  of  the  monkey  had  caused  the  precipitate  return  of  his 
mistress.  "  The  weather  was  so  hot  he  wouldn't  keep.  But 
they  had  a  nice  funeral,  and  Mr.  Parke  spoke  a  yology  on  his 
life  and  character  in  Latin." 

"  Mr.  Parke  ?  Who  is  he  ?  "  asked  his  mistress. 

"  One  of  Mister  Walter's  college  friends.  And  the  other 
gentleman  has  wrote  a  hepertaff  for  his  headstone — all  in 
Greek  " 

"  What  other  gentleman  ?  " 

"  Mr.  Pollen,  mam,  the  poet." 

"  I  know  him.     When  was  he  here  ?  " 

"  They've  been  here  all  the  time,  mam,  a  keeping  Mr. 
Walter  company." 

"  Faugh  !  I  thought  I  smelt  tobacco.  No  doubt  they've 
turned  the  house  upside  down.  Take  the  poor  fellow  into  the 
kitchen  and  feed  him,  Davy.  Here  comes  Griddle.  Griddle, 
why  are  you  frowning  in  that  way  ?  " 

"  You  must  get  another  cook,  mam,  by  the  end  of  the 
month.  I  give  you  warning." 

"  What's  the  matter  ?  I  left  you  with  nothing  to  do 
scarcely " 

"  Nothing  to  do,  scarcely  !  To  cook  five  times  a  day — or 
two  of  'em  in  the  night,  and  sometimes  one  of  'em  after  mid 
night — called  nothing  to  do  !  And  three  hungry  wolves  al 
ways  at  the  table !  And  one  of  'em  a  Southern  slave  owner, 
and  always  calling  colored  people  niggers — talking  about  this 
and  that  nigger  before  my  face  !  " 

"  You  don't  say  these  men  have  been  feasting  here  all  the 
time  with  Walter,  do  you?  " 

"  I  do,  mam ;  and  it's  cost  you  a  great  deal,  I  know." 

"  I  don't  care  what  it  cost ;  and  that  is  no  business  of 
yours.  But  if  they  have  spoilt  my  curtains  and  furniture 
with  their  horrid  tobacco,"  continued  Miss  Wilsome,  pursuing 
her  way  to  the  dining  room,  "  I'll  punish  them  well  for  it. 
Come  here,  Rose.  What  have  you  to  say  against  Walter  and 
his  associates  ?  " 

"Me?     Nothing,  miss." 

"  Well — there's  one  satisfied.  Why  do  you  stand  star 
ing  there,  Snapper  ?  Are  the  horses  cured  of  their  rascally 
capers,  yet  ?  " 

"  Yes,  mam,  Mr.  Walter  soon  had  'em  as  gentle  as  sheep. 


86  THE   WINKLES. 

But,  mam,  it's  my  unpleasant  duty  to  'nounce  to  you  that  one 
of  'em  took  sick  and  deceased  yesterday." 

"  Which  one  ?  " 

"  Punch,  mam." 

"  Why  he  was  the  tricksy  one  !  I  am  only  sorry  he  didn't 
break  his  neck  a  month  ago.  Look  for  another.  Pah  !  I 
smell  the  tobacco,  here,  too." 

"  It's  all  over  the  house,  mam "  began  the  cook. 

"  Rose,  was  it  not  your  duty  to  take  care  of  the  house  ?  " 
demanded  Miss  Wilsome. 

"  Iss,  mam — but  Mr.  Walter  was  to  give  me  my  orders — 
and  he  ordered  me  to  bring  a  box  of  cigars.  I  told  him  you 
didn't  allow  smoking,  only  out  in  the  portico." 

"  And  what  did  he  say  to  that  ?  " 

"  He  said  you  were  the  mistress  of  the  house  when  present, 
and  should  be  obeyed.  But  as  he  was  then  master,  he  must 
be  obeyed." 

"  Ha  !  ha  !     Good  for  Walter." 

"  He  had  been  drinking  champagne,  mam,"  said  the  cook, 
"  which  he  ordered  me  to  bring  up." 

"Well?" 

"  They've  drunk  a  whole  dozen,  mam." 

"  Well,  what's  that  to  you  ?  Mind  your  business.  Oh,  I 
forgot  you  intend  to  leave  my  service.  Go  about  your  busi 
ness.  You  know  my  rule.  I  never  attempt  to  dissuade  any 
one " 

"  If  you  will  let  me  take  back  the  warning,  mam " 

u  Well — as  you  please.  But  you  are  not  to  criticise  the 
language  of  any  guests  in  my  house.  If  you  can  read,  look  at 
your  geography,  and  you  will  find  that  colored  people  are  Ne 
groes,  and  red  people  Indians." 

The  old  cook,  who  had  been  mortally  offended  at  the  rois 
tering  young  gentlemen,  went  away  grumbling,  and  was 
laughed  at  heartily  by  Snapper,  who  enjoyed  their  company 
as  a  relief  from  the  usual  dull  monotony  of  his  life. 

"  Where  is  Walter,  now?"  asked  Miss  Wilsome,  turning 
suddenly  to  Rose. 

"  They're  up  stairs,  yet,  mam." 

"  What !  has  Walter's  guests  been  sleeping  here,  too  ?  " 

"  Iss,  mam." 

"And  not  up  yet?  " 

"No,  mam." 


WHO   KILLED   JOCKO.  87 

"  And  did  they  have  any  tobacco  up  stairs  ?  " 

"  I— Iss,  mam." 

"  The  villains  !     But  where  did  they  sleep  ?  " 

i:  In  the  chamber  fixed  for  Mister  Walter,  and — and         " 

"  Where  else  ?     That  wouldn't  hold  them  all." 

"  In  your  chamber,  too,  mam,  on  the  second  floor." 

"What!"  screamed  Miss  Wilsome,  so  fiercely  that  poor 
Rose  sprang  back  as  if  she  had  been  stabbed. 

"  Mister  Walter  ordered  me,  mam." 

"  I  know  who  to  blame.     And  if  he  had  ordered  you " 

"  Iss,  mam." 

"  Stupid  !  I — I'll  pull  his  ears  !  My  sheets,  my  pillow 
slips » 

"  Iss,  mam." 

"  Be  silent.  No  doubt  they  have  ransacked  the  closets, 
and  turned  every  thing  topsy-turvey  !  I'll  pull  every  hair  out 
of  their  heads  !  I'll — Rose  go  and  tell  them  I  have  returned, 
and  desire  to  see  them  immediately.  What's  this?  Stop, 
Rose." 

"  It's  a  pack  of  cards,  mam." 

"  Did  they  play  whist  ?" 

"  Iss,  mam." 

"  There  are  three  of  them,  and  we  might  have  a  pleasant 
game  together.  Tell  them  to  come  down.  Don't  hurry  them, 
by  saying  I'm  angry.  Here,  take  this  letter  to  Walter.  If 
he  goes  to  his  mother  and  uncle,  I  shall  be  done  with  him  !  " 
said  the  old  maid,  with  a  terrible  frown. 

"  Good  morning,  Wilsome.  Want  a  game  of  whist  ?  " 
said  a  voice  in  the  portico,  after  Rose  had  gone. 

"  Pretty  Polly  !  "  cried  the  old  lady. 

"  Wilsome  !  poor  Jocko's  dead." 

"  Alas,  poor  Jocko  !  " 

«  Walter  killed  Jocko." 

"  What's  that  ?  "  cried  Miss  Wilsome. 

"  It's  true,  missus — every  word  of  it,"  said  Griddle,  who 
had  been  listening,  and  coming  forward  now  with  signs  of  tri 
umph  on  her  sooty  features. 

"  It  aint  true,  missus,  not  a  word  of  it !  "  said  Snapper, 
who  had  been  watching  Griddle,  and  followed  her  into  the 
presence  of  their  mistress. 

"  I'll  take  my  bible  oath,"  continued  Griddle,  "  that  I  saw 
the  young  sparks  hang  your  Jocko  !  " 


88  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I'll  tell  you,  mam,"  said  Snapper,  "  edzactly  how  it  was.' 
This  he  did  with  candor  and  circumstantiality. 

"  That's  only  what  the  rampaging  bloods  told  him,  mam. 
I  saw  myself  what  I  told  you,  mam." 

"  Griddle  !  "  said  Wilsome,  with  one  of  her  most  ferocious 
looks,  "  get  ready  the  young  gentlemen's  breakfasts — and  if  I 
hear  another  word  from  you,  unless  it  be  something  in  relation 
to  your  own  department  of  business,  you  shall  pack  up  your 
things  and  be  off  before  another  sun  goes  down.  I  don't  want 
to  hear  any  thing  from  you,  either,  Snapper." 

Snapper  followed  the  cook,  but  with  a  triumphant  smile 
on  his  lip. 

"  Have  they  come  down  ? "  asked  Wilsome,  when  Rose 
reappeared. 

"  Iss,  mam — they're  in  the  parlor." 

1  Tell  Walter  to  come  here." 

"  Iss,  mam."  Rose  returned  to  the  parlor,  and  Walter 
soon  appeared  before  his  aunt. 

"  I  hope  you  have  enjoyed  yourself,  Walter,"  said  his 
aunt,  fixing  her  great  eyes  upon  him. 

"  Never  better  in  my  life,  aunt !  The  only  drawback  to 
my  happiness  was  the  lamentable  end  of  poor  Jocko." 

li  And  the  dread  of  my  vengeance.  Tell  me  truly — did 
he  hang  himself  ?  " 

"  No,  aunt.  Neither  was  he  wantonly  killed."  Walter 
then  related  the  manner  of  his  death,  and  he  was  surprised  to 
see  his  aunt  bear  the  recital  with  so  much  resignation.  Of 
course  he  was  not  aware  that  his  friend  Lowe  had  casually 
expressed  his  detestation  of  monkeys  in  his  aunt's  hearing, 
and  that  his  aunt  had  conceived  a  partiality  for  his  friend. 

"  That  will  do.  J  know  the  rest.  Your  companions  were 
respectable,  and  I  commend  you  for  every  thing  but  the  to 
bacco,  and  the  taking  possession  of  my  chamber — — " 

"  All  the  rest  were  locked,  aunt !  " 

"  Bah  !  Couldn't  you  break  the  locks  ?  I  locked  them  to 
keep  the  servants  out — not  the  gentlemen.  I  say  I  commend 
your  choice  of  companions — one  a  student,  and  the  other  a 
poet." 

"  Poor  Pollen,  however,  when  I  picked  him  up,  made  ra 
ther  a  shabby  appearance."  Walter  described  the  incident  at 
the  pawnbroker's. 

"  What,    without  a  shirt  ?     Ha,  ha,  ha !      Did  yours  fit 


THE   POET   IN    HIS   GLORY.  89 

him  ?  I  hope  he  used  the  bath.  Let  me  see  the  poem.  Biddy 
bring  my  portfolio." 

"  Aunt !  "  said  Walter,  seeing  the  old  lady  take  up  a  pen, 
"  surely  you  would  not  venture  to  make  any  alterations " 

"  Nonsense,  child  !  Here,  give  him  this.  I'll  keep  the 
poem.  Go,  now,  and  conduct  hither  your  guests.  The  break 
fast  is  smoking  on  the  table.  Say  nothing  about  the  wedding, 
and  the  disgrace  your  uncle  has  brought  upon  the  family,  until 
the  young  gentlemen  have  departed.  And  they  need  not  be 
in  haste  if  they  have  any  inclination  to  play.  But  when  they 
take  their  leave,  you  may  take  yours,  and  for  ever,  Walter, 
unless  you  agree  to  cut  your  uncle's  acquaintance." 

"  My  dear  aunt,  Pollen  and  Parke  have  already  agreed  to 
go  with  me  to  Babbleton  this  afternoon,  and  to  accompany  me 
to  my  uncle's  chateau.  We  have  been  concocting  an  enormous 
budget  of  amusement " 

"If  it  is  for  the  purpose  of  annoying  Gusset,  I  shall  ap 
prove  of  it.  But  when  your  invention  is  exhausted,  remember 
you  are  to  return  to  me,  and  you  may  bring  Mr.  Lowe  with 
you.  But  if  you  do  not  cut  your  uncle,  you  need  not  return. 
Still  you  must  write  me  an  account  of  your  deviltries  prac 
tised  on  the  milliner.  Get  Pollen  to  do  it,  for  I  intend  to 
read  it  for  the  diversion  of  my  friends." 

Walter  rejoined  his  friends  in  the  parlor,  and  conducted 
them  to  the  breakfast  table,  where  his  aunt  presided  with 
gayety  and  good  humor,  to  their  great  delight.  After  the  re 
past,  they  departed  to  make  preparations  for  the  celebration  of 
the  emperor's  nuptials. 

It  was  not  until  they  were  traversing  one  of  the  streets 
where  fire-works  were  kept  for  sale,  that  Walter  looked  at  the 
paper  his  aunt  had  charged  him  to  deliver  to  Pollen.  It  was 
a  check  for  fifty  dollars ;  and  it  threw  the  poor  poet  into  a 
paroxysm  of  exultation.  He  would  have  spent  half  of  it  im 
mediately,  under  the  supposition  that  more  could  at  any  time 
be  as  easily  acquired,  had  he  not  been  prevented  by  Walter, 
who  insisted  upon  his  privilege  of  defraying  all  the  expenses 
of  the  meditated  celebration. 

Soon  after  that  point  was  determined,  the  poet  fell  into  one 
of  his  fits  of  abstraction,  and  began  unconsciously  to  utter 
words  relating  to  a  subject  foreign  to  the  matter  under  consid 
eration.  He  was  dictating  proposals  for  the  issue  of  a  new 
periodical,  of  which  he  was  to  be  both  the  proprietor  and 


90  THE   WINKLES. 

editor.  And  he  alleged  in  his  soliloquy,  that  inasmuch  as  the 
critics,  who  had  never  ceased  to  do  him  gross  injustice,  were 
actuated  by  unworthy  motives,  being  authors  themselves,  it 
would  be  his  privilege  and  pleasure  to  retaliate  upon  them  by 
an  exposure  of  their  ignorance  and  malevolent  motives.  At 
the  same  time  it  would  be  his  delight  and  duty  to  contribute 
to  the  development  of  true  genius  wherever  he  might  discover 
it,  instead  of  repulsing  meritorious  young  aspirants  by  gratui 
tous  sneers  or  disheartening  them  by  cruel  neglect.  In  a  word, 
the  injustice  he  had  suffered,  would  teach  him  to  be  just. 

"  Let  him  go,"  said  young  Parke,  when  he  saw  the  poet, 
unmindful  of  his  company,  turn  into  an  alley,  principally  oc 
cupied  by  printers,  and  proceed  on  his  way  muttering  to  him 
self,  and  gesticulating  energetically. 

"  Yes — let  him  go,"  said  Walter,  looking  after  him.  "  He 
would  not  enjoy  the  sport.  But  who  is  that  over  there  bow 
ing  to  you  ?  " 

"  It's  Snobson.  Don't  you  know  him  ?  he's  coming  towards 
us.  He  staid  only  two  years  at  college,  and  left  without 
graduating.  And  yet  his  father  is  a  rich  banker.  Shall  I 
introduce  him  ?  " 

"  Yes.  Perhaps  he'll  go  up  with  us.  Is  there  any  fun  in 
him?" 

"  Full  to  the  brim — and  as  simple  as  a  loon.  He  runs 
after  every  girl  that  strikes  his  fancy,  and  thinks  himself  such 
an  irresistible  Adonis,  that  no  one  is  capable  of  withstanding 
him." 

At  that  moment  Snobson  came  up  and  was  introduced  to 
Walter,  who  was  amused  at  the  scarcely  perceptible  mustaches 
which  were  industriously  stroked  by  Snobson,  his  ponderous 
chain,  his  enormous  ring,  and  his  polished  tight-fitting  shoes. 
He  saw,  likewise,  at  a  single  glance,  that  the  face  of  his  new 
acquaintance  was  marred  by  incurable  pimples,  and  that  his 
hair  was  fiery  red. 

"  Snobson,"  said  Parke,  "  how  would  you  like  to  go  with 
us  to  a  wedding  feast  in  the  country  ?  " 

"How  far  off?" 

«  Near  Babbleton." 

"  Babbleton !  Good !  I'm  in.  I  go  there  every  day. 
I've  made  a  great  discovery  up  there.  The  most  beautiful 
creature  in  the  world  lives  in  Babbleton.  I  haven't  found  out 
her  name  yet ;  I  followed  her  into  a  certain  street,  but  don't 


A   GRAND   PARTY.  91 

yet  know  the  house  in  which  she  lives.  I  saw  her  on  the  boat 
one  day,  and  since  then  I  have  never  missed  a  trip.  I've 
made  a  bet  that  she  shall  be  my  captive  in  a  month.' 

"  What  is  she  like?  "  asked  Walter. 

He  described  her.  She  was  evidently  Walter's  own  sister 
Lucy !  But  he  manifested  no  surprise,  promising  himself 
some  amusement  at  their  meeting. 


CHAPTER  X. 


A  GEAND  PAETY  AT  ME.  WINKLE'S  CHATEAU. 

DURING  the  passage  to  Babbleton,  Mr.  Tom  Snobson  enter 
tained  Winkle  and  Parke  with  narrations  of  his  innumerable 
adventures  with  the  belles  at  the  different  watering-places,  all 
of  which  he  had  visited  within  the  last  six  weeks.  His  career 
had  been  an  unbroken  triumph.  He  had  been  cordially  wel 
comed  by  the  keepers  of  the  hotels,  and  had  received  only 
smiles  from  the  ladies.  His  father  was  excessively  rich,  and 
every  body  knew  it.  But  of  all  the  young  ladies  it  had  ever 
been  his  good  fortune  to  admire,  the  unknown  beauty  whom 
he  had  traced  to  Babbleton  seemed  to  have  made  the  deepest 
impression  on  his  susceptible  heart.  He  declared  upon  his 
honor,  that  he  dreamt  of  her  incessantly,  and  really  felt  that 
he  might  be  capable  of  loving  her  dearly,  and  only  her — pro 
vided  she  came  of  a  good  family.  He  did  not  deem  it  neces 
sary  to  reflect  that  his  own  father  had  served  an  apprentice 
ship  in  a  counting-room,  since  he  was  now  a  universally  ac 
knowledged  aristocrat. 

George  Parke's  curiosity  became  excited  to  behold  the  par 
agon  of  Babbleton,  whose  charms  Snobson  delighted  so  much 
to  portray ;  and  Walter,  assuming  a  dubious  gravity,  as  if 
not  quite  sure  he  had  ever  seen  the  unparalleled  creature,  and 
knowing  perfectly  well  that  Parke  had  never  met  with  Lucy, 
meditated  only  the  means  of  realizing  the  greatest  possible 
amount  of  s*">ort  from  the  discovery.  He  assured  them,  there 
fore,  that  if  t  had  not  been  his  good  fortune  hitherto,  to  know 
so  lovely  ar  ihabitant  of  the  village,  there  would  be  no  dim- 


92  THE   WINKLES. 

culty  in  procuring  an  introduction,  and  then  his  friends,  and 
especially  the  enamored  Snobson,  should  enjoy  the  delight  of 
an  immediate  presentation. 

Arrived  at  the  village  inn,  Walter  contrived  under  some 
pretence  or  other  to  separate  himself  for  a  short  time  from 
his  companions,  and  hastened  to  his  mother's  house  to  learn 
the  exact  condition  of  affairs.  From  the  manner  in  which  his 
aunt  had  spoken  in  condemnation  of  the  alliance,  it  might  be 
a  matter  of  doubt  whether  his  mother  and  sister,  or  either  of 
them,  had  accompanied  the  bride  to  his  uncle's  mansion  after 
the  celebration  of  the  nuptials  at  the  altar.  Lucy's  letter 
had  informed  him  of  her  intention  to  witness  the  ceremony  ; 
but  nothing  further  in  regard  to  her  subsequent  purposes. 

"Walter's  mother,  however,  related  every  thing  that  had 
transpired.  The  church  had  been  thronged  by  spectators, 
whom  Gusset  had  invited  thither  to  witness  her  triumph. 
And  it  appeared  that  such  a  consummation  of  her  ambitious 
projects  had  not  been  unforeseen;  for  she  was  decked  in  the 
usual  habiliments  of  matrimony,  and  seemed  to  attract  the  ad 
miration  of  many  of  her  neighbors,  who  had  not  been  accus 
tomed  to  regard  the  retired  milliner  as  worthy  of  any  special 
attention.  But  Mrs.  Winkle  declared  that  the  bride  appre 
ciated  the  importance  of  her  position.  She  was  not  embar 
rassed.  There  were  no  symptoms  of  delicate  timidity  in  her 
carriage  or  speech.  On  the  contrary,  the  expressions  of  her 
countenance  were  rather  indicative  of  imperious  feeling,  and 
a  proud  consciousness  of  the  elevated  station  she  was  hence 
forth  to  assume,  as  the  spouse  of  the  wealthiest  man  in  the 
country.  On  the  other  hand,  her  lord  manifested  indications 
of  awe  and  terror  in  the  novelty  of  his  situation.  As  if  he 
had  utterly  surrendered  his  independence  in  becoming  a  wed 
ded  man,  he  yielded  an  unhesitating  obedience  to  whatever 
was  signified  as  her  will.  He  seemed,  indeed,  to  have  no  will 
of  his  own.  but  to  obey.  And  she,  that  her  sway  might  not 
be  diminished  for  the  want  of  exercise,  taxed  her  ingenuity 
to  devise  demands,  that  her  power  might  be  exhibited  to  the 
public. 

Although  the  groom,  attended  by  his  neighbors,  had 
arrived  on  horseback,  the  bride  was  not  satisfied  to  accom 
pany  her  lord  to  his  home  in  the  same  unostentatious  man 
ner.  The  old  heavy  coach  had  to  be  sent  for.  It  was  drawn 
by  four  horses,  and  driven  by  a  servant  in  livery.  She  mount- 


THE    BRIDE.  93 

ed  the  steps  with  the  air  of  a  princess,  amidst  the  gazes  of 
admiring  friends,  and  the  envy  of  many  ancient  maidens  who 
witnessed  with  dismay  her  sudden  exaltation.  The  equipage 
halted  at  the  widow's  door,  and  Lucy  was  required  to  oc 
cupy  a  seat  beside  her  "  new-made  aunt,"  as  the  lady  herself 
expressed  it  within  the  hearing  of  the  widow.  That  was  the 
substance  of  the  information  Walter  obtained  from  his  mother. 
But  he  learned  a  very  large  party  would  be  assembled  at 
the  chateau  that  evening,  and  thither  he  lost  no  time  in 
conducting  his  companions. 

They  proceeded  on  foot,  as  the  distance  was  not  great,  and 
arrived  in  front  of  the  mansion  just  after  the  hall  had  been 
illuminated. 

"  Now,  boys,"  said  "Walter,  u  from  what  I  could  learn  in 
the  village,  the  beauty  we  are  in  quest  of  must  be  among 
my  uncle's — no,  my  aunt's — guests.  But  since  it  seems 
probable  that  I  would  have  known  the  lady,  and  doubtless 
have  been  captivated  by  her  irresistible  charms,  if  there 
were  not  some  impediment  in  the  way,  I  think  we  should 
proceed  with  circumspection,  until  certain  suspicions  which 
have  arisen  in  my  mind  are  dispelled.  She  may  be,  possibly, 
the  daughter  of  an  honest  shoemaker — " 

"  No  !  "  cried  Snobson,    "  that  would  be   a  d 1  of  a 

joke  !  and  I  almost  in  love  with  her !  " 

"  Or,"  continued  Walter,  "  some  milliner's  apprentice ; 
and,  as  my  '  new-made  aunt,'  was  once  a  milliner  herself — " 

"  That  is  the  reason  she  was  invited,"  said  Parke.  "  But 
if  she  is  as  beautiful  as  Tom  says,  I  want  a  chat  with  her,  no 
matter  who  she  is." 

"  Of  course,"  responded  Walter.  "  But  then,  let  me  urge 
you  not  to  cast  too  many  curious  looks  at  her  if  she  chances 
to  appear  before  us  unexpectedly,  and  should  equal  or  surpass 
Tom's  description.  And  above  all,  do  not  for  the  world  ask 
any  one  who  she  is,  or  what  is  her  name.  It  might  cause  you 
to  be  sneered  at  by  some  of  the  ton.  Leave  every  thing  to 
me.  I  will  find  a  proper  time  and  opportunity  to  introduce 
you." 

They  entered  the  hall  just  when  the  last  word  was  uttered  ; 
and  Walter,  under  the  pretext  of  seeking  information  where 
his  uncle  and  aunt  were  to  be  found,  left  his  companions  for 
a  few  moments  to  themselves,  promising  to  return  immediately 


94  THE   WINKLES 

and  conduct  them  into  the  presence  of  the  lord  and  lady  of 
the  palace. 

When  Walter  passed  out  of  the  great  hall,  the  first  person 
he  met  was  Lucy,  who,  in  high  spirits  threw  her  arms  round 
his  neck  before  he  had  recognized  her. 

"  0  ho,"  cried  he,  "  suppose  it  had  been  Suobson  or 
Parke." 

':  Who  are  they  ?  "  demanded  Lucy. 

Walter  told  her,  and  she  instantly  promised  to  co-operate 
with  him  in  his  innocent  project  for  their  mutual  diversion. 
It  was  arranged  that  they  should  all  sit  on  the  same  side  of 
the  table  at  dinner,  so  that  Lucy's  identification  by  Snob- 
son  might  be  delayed.  She  might,  in  the  meantime,  however, 
for  the  especial  gratification  of  her  own  curiosity,  and  for  the 
purpose  of  knowing  the  gentleman,  once  flit  across  their  vision 
as  they  stood  in  the  hall,  and  while  Walter  sought  his  uncle 
and  aunt  in  the  next  room,  and  obtained  permission  to  present 
his  friends. 

This  was  speedily  accomplished ;  and  when  Walter  re- 
entered  the  hall  to  conduct  the  young  gentlemen  into  the 
presence  of  the  married  couple,  he  found  them  transported 
with  the  lingering  effects  of  the  bright  vision  which  had  been 
vouchsafed  them.  "  Was  she  the  beauty  you  saw  on  the  boat 
and  followed  into street  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  Yes,"  cried  Snobson,  "  only  more  angelic  than  ever.  I 
hope  she  is  no  mechanic's  daughter,  no  milliner's  apprentice. 
I  care  not  how  poor  she  may  be — my  father  is  rich  enough — 
I  will  marry  her.  George,  recollect,  I  am  in  love,  honorably 
in  love  !  And  you,  Winkle,  I  warn  you  to  keep  your  eyes  off 
— she  was  discovered  by  me,  and  should  be  mine." 

"  Warning  me  against  gazing  at  one  whom  I  don't  know  ! 
You  need  not  fear.  All  I  apprehend  is  that  she  will  turn  out 
one  of  the  nobodies  you  despise  so  much.  But,  come ;  it  is 
the  hour  for  dinner,  and  you  must  be  presented." 

Walter  led  them  into  the  presence  of  the  host  and  hostess, 
where  they  were  very  cordially  received. 

"  Taken  at  last,  uncle  ?  I  hope  you  will  be  happy  in  your 
captivity."  said  Walter. 

•'  Not  taken,  sir — no  capitulation,  sir — but  a  convention — 
an  alliance — with  secret  stipulations.  In  the  domestic  de 
partment  my  ally  will  rule,  whilst  I  direct  the  military  and 
diplomatic  affairs." 


THE    MARRIAGE   CEREMONY.  95 

"  I  forget,  Mr.  Winkle,"  said  his  imperious  spouse — for 
she  seemed  to  become  more  haughty  at  every  new  develop, 
ment  of  her  newly  acquired  power  and  importance — "  whether  or 
not  the  secret  stipulations  were  to  be  divulged  by  either  of  us." 

"  Oh,  I  beg  pardon,  my  dear  Gusset." 

"  Recollect !  "  cried  she,  in  his  ear,  "  you  were  never  to  men 
tion  that  name  again." 

"  True — true.  You  must  not  hesitate  to  remind  me  of 
any  neglect  of  duties,  Mrs.  Winkle,  or  infraction  of  the  treaty. 
But  as  for  secret  stipulations " 

Here  dinner  was  announced,  and  the  emperor's  speech 
was  cut  short.  He  conducted  his  spouse  in  advance  of  the 
company,  and  a  chair  was  reserved  near  them  at  the  table  for 
Lucy,  who,  in  pursuance  of  the  plan  agreed  upon,  remained 
in  concealment  until  all  the  guests  were  seated. 

But  that  his  companions  might  not  be  idle,  Walter  intro 
duced  them  to  a  great  many  of  his  acquaintances,  and  among 
the  rest,  to  the  sisters  Bell  and  Blanche  Arum,  rich  and 
fashionable  daughters  of  a  retired  patent  pill  manufacturer, 
which  was  quite  a  different  personage  from  the  manufacturer 
of  shoes ;  to  the  sisters  Susan  and  Sally  Crudle,  whose  father 
was  still  more  wealthy  than  the  haughty  Arum :  but  then  he 
made  his  fortune  by  the  manufacture  of  beer.  Arum  had  long 
since  sunk  the  shop,  while  Crudle  could  not  be  prevailed  on 
to  relinquish  his  business.  Therefore  his  name  was  still  over 
the  door  of  the  shop  in  the  city  ;  and  while  it  remained  there, 
Mrs.  C.  opposed  every  attempt  of  her  daughters  to  prevail  on 
their  coachman  to  wear  a  broad  band  on  his  hat  and  extra 
bright  buttons  on  his  coat.  Crudle  listened  very  patiently  to 
every  argument  advanced,  both  by  his  wife  and  daughters,  in 
favor  of  an  entire  relinquishment  of  business  :  the  demonstra 
tions  of  a  sufficiency  of  wealth  to  produce  an  ample  income 
at  simple  interest ;  the  delights  of  leisure :  the  advantages  of 
dignified  retirement,  and  the  better  opportunity  of  effecting 
advantageous  alliances,  etc.  To  all  such  protestations  and 
pleadings,  Mr.  Crudle  would  reply,  by  casting  a  check  for 
$1000  into  the  midst  of  his  family,  for  the  purchase  of  new 
articles  of  furniture,  jewels,  etc,  and  alleging  that  quadruple 
that  amount  had  been  realized  from  his  business  since  the  last 
discussion  of  the  subject,  and  that  if  he  had  taken  their  advice 
he  would  have  been  a  poorer  man  by  so  many  thousands. 

Lucy  had  glided  into  the  saloon,  and  quietly  taken  posses- 


yt>  THE   WINKLES. 

sion  of  the  chair  which  had  been  reserved  for  her ;  the  clatter 
of  knives  and  forks  having  overwhelmed  all  other  sounds. 
The  young  gentlemen  had  sipped  their  wine  with  the  bride, 
with  their  eyes  glancing  from  the  Arums  to  the  Crudles,  who 
sent  back  flashes  of  equal  intensity ;  and  all  the  time  Lucy 
sat  demurely  at  the  side  of  her  protuberant  uncle,  slyly  ex 
changing  signals  with  her  brother,  who  was  nearly  opposite  his 
companions,  and  occasionally  obtaining  a  stealthy  view  of  Snob- 
son  and  Parke  who  were  incessantly  addressed  by  the  Crudles 
and  Arums  across  the  table. 

Nor  was  it  long  before  the  enterprising  daughters  of  the 
rich  men  learned  that  Tom  Snobson  was  the  sou  of  the  great 
banker  Snobson,  whose  position  in  society  was  fixed,  and  whose 
name  had  been  in  the  newspapers.  Nor  was  it  less  interesting 
to  ascertain — which  they  did — that  young  Parke  was  a  stu 
dent  at  Princeton  College,  destined  to  the  legal  profession, 
and  a  scion  of  one  of  the  great  southern  families,  who  pos 
sessed  their  hundreds  of  slaves.  True,  slavery  in  the  abstract 
was  condemned — but  in  the  hymenial  concrete,  it  might  not  be 
an  irreconcilable  evil.  Hence,  a  battery  was  unmasked  against 
both  young  gentlemen,  from  the  flashing  eyes  of  the  daughters 
of  the  pill  and  beer  nabobs. 

Far  away  at  the  opposite  end  of  the  table  sat  Ralph  Ro 
land,  never  gazing  towards  Lucy  but  between  his  fingers,  and 
unperceived  by  her.  Edmund  Lowe,  pale,  thoughtful  and 
abstemious,  was  not  so  far  removed,  nor  so  careful  in  conceal 
ing  the  direction  of  his  eyes,  which  wandered  over  the  whole 
assembly,  and  dwelt  the  longest  upon  the  fair  brow  and  per 
fect  form  of  Lucy.  He  sat  beside  old  John  Dowly — the 
melancholy  discarded  lover  of  Lucy's  mother. 

After  the  last  course  had  disappeared,  Roland  arose  with 
a  foaming  goblet  and  proposed  the  health  of  the  bride,  which 
was  loudly  cheered  and  heartily  responded  to  by  all  but  Lucy, 
who  was  glancing  slyly  at  Walter's  excited  friends,  whose  heads 
were  dodging  under  the  artillery  of  Blanche  and  Bell,  and 
Susan  and  Sally. 

"  Be  attentive,  Lucy  !  "  said  her  aunt.  "  Did  you  not  hear 
what  Mr.  Roland  said  '\  " 

"  I  beg  pardon,  Gusset,"  replied  Lucy,  quickly,  resuming 
her  former  attitude,  but  not  before  Snobson  had  perceived 
her. 

"  Miss  Winkle  ! "  said  Griselda,   "  I  beg  that  you  will 


NAPOLEON    CONQUERED.  97 

hereafter  forget  that  I  was  ever  called  Gusset.  That  name 
has  been  extinguished,  and  I  shall  expect  none  but  my  enemies 
to  make  use  of  it  hereafter." 

"  She  is  now  my  spouse,  and  vour  aunt,  Lucy,"  said  Mr. 
Winkle. 

"  I  forgot,  uncle." 

"  I  know  it.  Of  course  you  could  never  be  the  enemy  of 
my  wife — although  she  says  some  of  my  family  will  never  treat 
her  with  respect." 

Lucy  was  silent,  while  her  aunt  looked  steadily  at  her. 

Then  Colonel  Oakdale  proposed  three  cheers  for  Napoleon 
Winkle ;  and  amidst  the  rapturous  applause — for  the  colonel, 
being  a  widower  himself,  and  the  junior  of  the  bridegroom, 
had  intimated  his  purpose  of  following  Napoleon's  example — 
there  was  heard  a  startling  crash  about  midway  down  the  table, 
which  was  followed  by  slight  shrieks  from  the  Arums  and 
Crudles.  It  had  been  occasioned  by  the  fall  of  Snobson.  who, 
in  leaning  back  to  obtain  another  view  of  the  glorious  eyes 
of  Lucy  that  had  been  momentarily  fixed  upon  him,  lost  his 
equilibrium,  and  fell  over  on  his  back. 

This  incident  was  followed  by  uncontrollable  laughter,  on 
the  part  of  Walter,  who  understood  the  cause  of  it,  and  which 
was  signalled  by  him  to  Lucy,  whose  ill  suppressed  convul 
sions  gave  her  aunt  serious  vexation,  and  subjected  herself  to 
several  terse  lectures  upon  the  subject  of  propriety. 

The  scene  had  not  escaped  the  notice  of  Roland,  whose 
brows  were  contracted  fiercely,  as  he  endeavored  in  vain  to 
catch  the  eye  of  the  offending  young  gentleman.  The  glance 
he  launched  at  Lucy,  was  repulsed  with  something  like  dis 
dain,  certainly  with  indifference. 

Without  form  or  ceremony, — for  Napoleon  had  most  unac 
countably  abandoned  the  helm  of  command,  and  his  spouse 
had  never  before  mingled  with,  much  less  been  a  principal 
actor  in  so  large  an  assembly  of  gay  people,  the  company  arose 
and  proceeded  to  the  parlors  in  promiscuous  groups,  with  no 
regard  to  precedence,  and  much  to  the  chagrin  of  the  Arums, 
who  vented  their  spleen  openly.  But  it  afforded  delight  to 
the  Crudles,  who  appreciated  the  utmost  freedom  of  social 
enjoyment. 

Walter  lingered  in  the  hall  to  intercept  his  companions, 
where,  upon  meeting  him,  they  contrived  to  escape  from  their 
belles. 


98  THE   WINKLES. 

"  It  was  her  eyes  ! "  said  Snobson,  trembling  with  real 
perturbation.  "  They  drew  me  over.  The  chair-back  was 
broken  off,  and  that  made  the  crash.  It  was  magnetism.  She 
attracted  me.  You  could  see  her,  Winkle,  from  where  you 
sat.  Who  is  she  ?  " 

"  There  were  several  of  the  milliner's  old  acquaintances 
in  that  neighborhood.  Don't  be  a  fool,  and  fall  in  love  with 
a  girl  beneath  you.  You  shall  be  introduced  to  the  one  you 
admire  so  much.  But  be  calm.  Cool  yourself  in  the  air. 
She'll  turn  out  a  nobody  I'm  afraid." 

"  If  she  is  the  one  I  saw  flit  across  the  hall,"  said  Parke, 
"  you  may  rely  upon  it  Tom  has  reason  for  his  madness.  Mil 
liner's  apprentice  or  not,  she  has  the  most  fascinating  features 
and  carriage  of  any  girl  in  the  company,  if  not  in  the  uni 
verse." 

"  You,  too  !  I'm  sorry  I  brought  you  here.  Your  parents 
will  never  forgive  me.  In  love  with  some  poor  obscure  village 
girl,  whose  fingers  may  be  pricked  into  nutmeg  graters  by  the 
point  of  her  needle  !  You  had  the  aristocracy  by  you.  The 
Arums  and  the  Crudles." 

"  We  learned  they  were  rich  in  a  few  minutes,"  said  Parke ; 
"  for  they  spoke  unconsciously  of  their  fathers'  houses  and  lots, 
horses  and  carriages,  and  their  fine  dresses  and  jewelry — and 
the  sums  that  had  been  paid  for  them.  We  learned  every 
thing  but  the  manner  in  which  their  fortunes  had  been  made." 

"  And  they  were  au  fait  as  to  the  standing  and  means 
of  my  family — and  of  yours,  Winkle,"  he  added,  rather 
gravely. 

"  But  not  of  mine,"  said  Parke.  "  They  could  not  find 
out  how  many  acres  and  woolly  heads  I  had.  Yet  they  seemed 
disposed  to  take  me  on  trust.  And  perhaps  one  of  them,  the 
younger  Crudle — Sally,  I  believe — may  have  a  chance  for  me. 
My  income  they  tell  me  is  to  be  small,  whenever  the  cotton 
crop  fails.  A  mile  square  in  Georgia,  don't  produce  as  much 
revenue  as  a  lot  in  the  city  of  twenty-five  feet  front.  I  shall 
not  lose  sight  of  the  Crudles,  for  they  are  capable  of  refine 
ment,  and  our  people  in  the  South  won't  be  too  inquisitive  if 
I  bring  home  an  heiress." 

When  the  young  gentlemen  entered  the  parlors,  the  first 
object  that  attracted  the  attention  of  Snobson,  was  Lucy. 
She  sat  in  an  alcove  of  a  window,  conversing  with  Lowe.  Old 
Mr.  Dowly  was  seated  apart,  with  his  large  lustrous  eyes 


MR.    SNOBSON   INTRODUCED.  99 

fixed  upon  the  interesting  pair.  Roland  was  talking  to  Miss 
Bell  Arum,  while  Blanche  was  looking  over  the  music  at  the 
piano.  The  Crudles,  contriving  to  be  disengaged,  seemed  to 
be  awaiting  the  approach  of  our  party  of  young  gallants.  At 
the  extreme  end  of  the  long  apartment,  on  a  luxuriously  cush 
ioned  sofa,  were  seated  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Winkle,  receiving  the 
felicitations  of  their  acquaintance. 

"  There  she  is  !  "  whispered  Snobson.     "  Is  she  not  an 
angel?" 

"  She  surpasses  all  the  beauties  I  ever  beheld,"  said  Parke. 

"  Oh,  that  lady  in  the  recess,  conversing  with  Mr.  Lowe?  " 
responded  Walter. 

"  Yes !  "  said  Parke,  with  animation.  "  But  if  the  fel 
low's  name  be  Lowe,  he  does  not  seem  to  be  a  low  fellow.  I 
noticed  him  at  the  table,  and  I  think  I  never  beheld  a  gentle 
man  of  better  polish  or  more  refined  manners.  He  has  a  fine 
countenance,  and  the  young  lady  must  be  of  high  breeding. 
Walter,  none  of  your  humbug  !  I  suspect  she  is  one  of  your 
favorites.  You  seem  to  have  them  every  where.  I  shall  know 
what  to  say  to  Miss  Virginia,  when  I  return  to  the  city." 

"  You  are  mistaken,  George ;  upon  my  honor  you  are.  if 
you  suppose  I  have  matrimonial  designs  upon  that  creature. 
I  know  her  well.  You  shall  be  introduced.  Come  along." 

"  But  who  is  she  ?  her  name "?  "  demanded  the  young  men. 

"Oh,  Miss  what-do-you-call-her !  Come!"  he  continued, 
leading  them  towards  the  alcove,  seeing  Lowe  withdraw  with 
a  smile  on  his  beautiful  pale  lip,  and  convinced  that  Lucy  had 
revealed  to  him  the  mischievous  plot. 

"  But  if  she  should  not  be  a  proper  acquaintance  for  me  to 
make  in  such  a  public  place  ?  "  said  Snobson,  hesitatingly. 

"  Oh.  come  along.  She  is  quite  genteel  enough.  Sister 
Lucy,"  he  continued,  with  gravity,  "  let  me  introduce  my 
friends,  Mr.  Snobson,  of  Philadelphia,  and  Mr.  Parke,  of 
Georgia." 

Lucy  bowed  very  kindly,  while  the  young  gentlemen 
blundered  in  their  salutations,  and  knew  not  what  to  say. 
They  looked  at  each  other,  at  Walter,  at  Miss  Winkle, 
blushed  and  trembled.  They  might  have  felt  and  acted 
differently,  if  it  had  occurred  to  them  that  Walter  had  delib 
erately  meditated  so  embarrassing  a  surprise  for  them. 

"  I  think  I  have  enjoyed  the  pleasure  of  seeing  Mr.  Snob- 
son  before,"  said  Lucy  ;  "  and  I  do  not  remember  where. 


100  THE   WINKLES. 

And  yet  I  am  sure  it  has  not  been  very  long  since.  Oh  !  did 
I  not  see  you  on  the  boat  the  other  day  ?  " 

Snobson  was  under  the  necessity  of  confessing  that  he 
was  on  the  boat  the  day  alluded  to,  for  had  he  not  told  Wal 
ter  that  he  followed  the  charming  creature  through  several 
streets?  But  the  poor  fellow  was  so  nearly  stricken  dumb 
that  he  could  only  utter  monosyllables. 

"  And  I  have  often  heard  my  brother  speak  with  enthusi 
asm  of  his  friend  from  Georgia.  Perhaps  Mr.  Parke  may 
have  detected  Walter  in  some  insidious  praise  of  his  poor 
sister  ?  " 

"  No — hang  me  if  ever  he  did  •!  "  said  Walter. 

"  True,"  said  Parke,  recovering  his  accustomed  compo 
sure.  "  but  I  wonder  he  did  not.  I  am  sure  I  would  have 
lauded  one  of  mine  to  him  if  he  had  dwelt  so  near  her,  pro 
vided  she  had  been  so — I  mean  fair,  and  accomplished." 

"  That  would  have  been  a  different  matter  altogether," 
said  Walter.  "  And  no  doubt  I  should  have  mentioned 
Lucy,  if — don't  frown,  sister  !  " 

"  Go,  sir.  I  dismiss  you,"  said  Lucy,  affecting  a  look  of 
displeasure. 

"  I  will,  good  sister,"  said  Walter  ;  "  for  I  see  Sergeant 
Blore  beckoning  me  through  the  window.  But,  Lucy,  where 
are  the  guards  ?  I  see  no  bayonets." 

"  Our  aunt  has  ordered  them  not  to  appear  to-night." 

"  She  is  to  be  general,  then  ?  We'll  see.  Don't  be  alarmed 
at  any  thing  you  hear  to-night,  Lucy."  Saying  this,  Walter 
withdrew.  He  was  followed  by  Snobson,  and  overtaken  on 
the  terrace. 

"  Mr.  Winkle,"  said  Snobson,  "  I  want  to  make  you  an 
humble  apology  ;  and  I  hope  you  won't  be  offended  after 
wards.  I  do  beg  your  pardon.  I  didn't  know  it  was  your 
sister  I  was  talking  about,  and  was  following  in  the  street. 
I  am  willing  to  make  any  reparation  in  my  power " 

"  Reparation  ?  " 

"  Upon  my  honor  I  will !  I  am  sure,  if  father  could  once 
see  her " 

"  You  would  marry  her,  if  he  gave  his  consent  ?  " 

"  Upon  my  word  and  honor  I  would  !  And  you  may  say 
so  to  her,  if  you  choose " 

"  Oh,  my  dear  fellow,  you  must  say  such  things  to  her 
yourself.  And  as  for  apologizing  for  what  you  did  the  other 


A   COMPLETE    CHANGE.  101 

day,  I  beg  you  won't  think  of  it.  It  is  gratifying  to  any  girl 
to  be  admired  and  followed.  You  have  no  idea  what  fine 
spirits  my  sister  enjoyed  when  she  observed  it." 

"  Did  she  see  me  ?  " 

"  Yes — and  she  boasted  of  it.  The  girls  are  as  fond  of 
making  conquests  as  ever  Alexander  was." 

"  And  she  knew  it !  I  feel  like  a  detected  sheep-killing 
dog  !  What  shall  I  do  ?  " 

"  Why,  tell  her  she  carried  your  heart  by  storm ;  that 
the  attraction  was  too  powerful  to  be  resisted ;  and  hence  you 
could  not  avoid  following  her.  She  will  be  nattered,  I  assure 
you." 

"  I  shall  never  have  the  boldness  to  speak  to  her  in  that 
way.  But  you  will  not  be  offended,  I  hope  ?  " 

"  Nonsense,  Tom.  I  would  do  the  same  if  I  were  like 
you,  no  doubt.  But  excuse  me,  now ;  I  have  an  appointment 
out  here  under  the  chestnut  tree.'1 

Snobson  returned  to  the  gay  company  within,  while  Walter 
joined  the  sergeant,  with  whom  he  found  Bill  Dizzle,  and  both 
were  anxiously  awaiting  him. 

The  new  mistress  of  the  establishment  had  truly  exerted 
her  power  over  her  lord,  and  obtained  an  order  that  there 
should  be  no  military  display  in  the  vicinity  of  the  mansion. 
But  the  retainers  of  the  house  had  permission  to  get  drunk 
at  the  barracks,  called  the  camp  of  Bologne,  near  the  scene 
of  the  late  invasion  of  John  Bull,  and  to  send  up  a  few  noise 
less  rockets  in  honor  of  the  merry  occasion.  The  subject  of 
the  conference  under  the  chestnut  tree  on  the  lawn,  may  be 
developed  in  the  progress  of  this  history.  Suffice  it  to  say, 
that  the  sergeant  was  much  chagrined  at  the  conduct  of  his 
general's  spouse  ;  and  was  conscious  of  well-  founded  appre 
hensions,  that  she  was  not  only  capable  of  subduing  all  the 
other  females  about  the  house,  but  would  not  be  likely  to 
pause  in  the  career  of  ambition,  until  she  had  obtained  the 
supreme  command  of  the  entire  establishment.  At  all  events 
he  was  quite  as  impatient  as  Walter  could  be,  to  ascertain  by 
some  well-conceived  experiments  the  extent  of  her  influence 
over  her  lord. 


102  THE   WINKLES. 


CHAPTER    XI 


THE  BBIDAL  NIGHT  CONTINUED,  AND  WHAT  TOOK  PLACE  ON  THE 
TOP  OF  THE  HOUSE. 

As  there  are  more  vicissitudes  in  American  society  than  in 
any  other  under  the  sun,  it  follows  that  our  people  are  the 
most  observant  and  calculating  of  the  dwellers  upon  this  mun 
dane  sphere.  Therefore,  as  soon  as  the  revellers  were  re-as 
sembled  in  the  commodious  parlors  of  the  Winkle  mansion, 
and  those  who  fancied  that  sort  of  exercise,  were  tripping  on 
the  "  light  fantastic  toe,"  the  other  portion  of  the  assembly, 
that  preferred  the  exercise  of  the  tongue,  were  every  where 
discussing  the  consequences  of  the  wedding. 

"  I  am  sorry  for  the  widow,  and  it's  a  pity  for  Walter  and 
Lucy,"  said  Mrs.  Arum,  as  she  admired  a  heavy  jewel,  re 
sembling  a  fantastic  breastplate,  on  the  bosom,  of  her  daugh 
ter  Bell 

"  It's  tremendous  lamentable,"  responded  Mrs.  Crudle, 
smiling  at  her  daughter  Susan,  then  whirling  in  the  dance  with 
Mr.  Roland,  "  to  think  that  they  held  their  heads  so  high ! 
Now,  Mr.  Roland  says,  they  are  beggars  !  " 

"  Beggars,  Mrs.  Crudle  !  surely  they'll  not  be  so  bad  off 
as  that?  " 

"  That's  what  he  said — but  I  wouldn't  have  it  mentioned 
for  the  world  as  coming  through  me.  He  says  Miss  Wilsome 
went  off  in  a  huff  to  the  city,  swearing  vengeance  against  all 
the  family  that  countenanced  the  hypocritical  Gusset,  and  de 
claring  she  would  have  nothing  further  to  do  with  any  of  'em 
who  went  to  the  wedding,  or  attended  the  revels  out  here  to 
night." 

"  And  Wilsome  is  wilful  enough  to  keep  her  word.  Lucy 
and  Walter  were  looked  upon  as  her  heirs." 

"  She'll  marry  now,  if  it's  to  a  butcher  ;  that  is,  if  he  can 
learn  to  play  whist.  It's  in  the  breed.  You  see  what  her 
hallucinated  brother  has  done.  I'm  sure  a  fair-faced  well- 
formed  butcher  is  as  good  as  the  scrawny  sallow-complexioned 
milliner." 

"  You  are  right,  Mrs.  Crudle.     And  as  we  were  just  say- 


COOL    IMPUDENCE.  103 

ing,  our  haughty  neighbors,  the  Winkles  of  Babbleton,  must 
lower  their  feathers  at  least,  for  the  humble  demure  Grusset 
that  was,  and  that  used  to  knuckle  to  and  almost  worship 
them,  as  sure  as  she  lives,  will  be  revenged.  She  will  tower 
above  them  now.  I  know  the  nature  of  these  soft-spoken 
meek  old  maids  when  they  get  the  upper  hand  !  They'll 
quarrel  the  first  week.  I  know  it.  And  the  proud  widow 
would  die  rather  than  demean  hersefr  before  her  old  de 
pendant." 

"  Yes,  indeed,  Mrs.  Arum !  And  she  will  be  willing  to 
associate  oftener  with  other  people  who  are  worth  a  thousand 
times  as  much  as  herself — and  in  place  of  smiling  risively 
when  pertinent  people  must  be  telling  how  our  husbands  made 
their  fortunes,  she'll  be  sending  the  silly  Biddy  to  us  for  the 
loan  of  a  gill  of  cream,  or  a  basket  of  coals.  Oh,  we'll  mor 
tify  'em  !  Let's  make  our  coachmen  drive  by  her  house  six 
times  every  fine  day  ;  and  tell  the  girls  to  promenade  before 
her  doors  in  their  richest  and  newest  dresses.  It's  a  duty 
to  humble  any  one's  pride,  who  hasn't  got  money  to  support  it." 

"Bell!  come 'dance  with  me!"  cried  Walter,  abruptly 
appearing  before  the  daughter,  who  was  listening  in  silence. 
The  matrons  stared ;  but  before  they  could  recover  their  pre 
sence  of  mind  to  deprecate  what  would  have  been  deemed  by 
either  of  them  two  days  before  a  great  honor.  Bell  had  eager 
ly  and  precipitately  accepted  the  invitation. 

"  Did  you  ever  see  such  cool  impudence  !  "  said  Mrs.  Crudle. 
"  But  Bell  bounced  up  like  a  hare  from  under  a  cabbage  leaf. 
She's  been  used  to  thinking  it  a  great  honor  to  be  noticed  by 
a  Winkle." 

"  I'll  learn  her  better.  But,  then,  Walter  isn't  to  blame. 
Nor  Lucy,  either.  If  they  behave  themselves,  and  never  put 
on  airs,  we  needn't  shut  our  doors  in  their  faces.  Poor  Lucy  ! 
yonder  she  sits  alone,  no  doubt  thinking  on  her  destitute  situ 
ation.  I  wonder  Roland,  who  has  been  whirling  with  Susan, 
don't  ask  her  to  dance.  And  the  mysterious  stranger,  who 
will  not  even  speak  to  any  other  girl,  is  stalking  backwards 
and  forwards  in  the  hall." 

"  Yes,  I  saw  him  there.  His  arms  were  folded,  and  he 
was  in  a  deep  distraction." 

"  Abstraction,  Mrs.  Crudle." 

"  It's  all  one.  Both  of  my  girls  have  got  fine  partners. 
Snobson's  family,  you  know,  are  invited  to  Madame  K 's" 


104  THE    WINKLES. 

reception ;  and  as  for  the  southern  student,  they  all  belong  to 
the  very  first  families.  They  don't  need  certifications  of 
character." 

Poor  Lucy  !  She  seemed  truly  to  be  deserted  by  her  ac 
customed  worshippers.  She  sat  alone  in  the  recess,  gazing 
mournfully  at  the  merry  scene.  She  had  overheard  more  than 
one  of  her  own  sex  speculating  upon  the  results  of  her  uncle's 
marriage,  and  the  indignant  abandonment  of  her  aunt  ;  and 
she  could  easily  perceive,  by  the  glances  of  triumph  among 
those  who  had  often  envied  her,  that  her  reverse  of  fortune 
was  to  be  for  them  a  matter  of  exultation,  rather  than  one 
of  sympathy.  She  was  neglected  by  her  new  aunt,  and  for 
gotten  by  her  uncle.  Her  brother's  young  friends  were  flirt 
ing  with  the  Arums  and  the  Crudles.  Lowe,  with  folded 
arms,  was  immersed  in  one  of  his  reveries,  finding  a  solitude 
in  a  crowd.  And  as  if  to  confirm  her  melancholy,  she  had 
been  again  annoyed  by  the  importunity  of  Roland,  who,  after 
keeping  aloof  for  several  hours,  had  seized  an  opportunity  to 
repeat  his  declaration,  and  to  urge  his  suit  by  all  the  induce 
ments  which  the  desire  of  possessing  fortune  might  naturally 
suggest.  He  did  not  venture  to  depict  directly  the  destitute 
condition  of  Lucy,  but  he  knew  it  would  be  sufficiently  appa 
rent  to  one  of  her  vivid  imagination,  when  contrasted  with 
the  vast  possessions  which  he  offered  to  share  with  her.  And 
to  add  to  her  vexation,  she  beheld  the  eyes  of  Lowe  at  last 
riveted  upon  her  when  Roland  was  urgently  pressing  his  suit ! 
She  was  immovable,  and  her  persecutor,  without  extorting  a 
peremptory  refusal,  departed  sullenly,  and  was  soon  laughing 
very  heartily  with  Blanche  Arum. 

An  intermission  occurred,  during  which  the  band  of  musi 
cians  withdrew  to  partake  of  their  accustomed  and  indispen 
sable  stimulants.  It  was  then  proposed  by  the  artful  mothers 
of  the  Arum  and  Crudle  belles,  that  there  should  be  music 
at  the  piano  ;  and  above  the  noise  and  confusion  of  conversa 
tion  and  laughter,  the  ringing  voices  of  the  heiresses  pene 
trated  the  ears  of  all.  And  at  the  end  of  every  performance 
there  was  a  loud  clapping  of  hands,  followed  by  a  simultane 
ous  volley  of  compliments. 

It  was  during  one  of  the  pauses  which  succeeded  these 
storms  of  plaudits,  that  the  loud  and  hearty  voice  of  Col. 
Oakdale  was  heard  calling  for  Lucy. 

"  Where  is  she  ?  where  is  she  ?  "  he  asked,  making  his  way 


THE   EFFECT    OF    MUSIC.  105 

through  the  company.  "  I  must  hear  her  voice,  or  I  shall 
never  be  able  to  sleep  again.  Come  forth,  I  say,  Lucy 
Winkle!  Oh,  there  you  are  !  My  dear,  sweet  girl,"  he  con 
tinued,  advancing  to  the  alcove  which  Lucy  had  never  quitted, 
and  where  Lowe  was  now  sitting  beside  her,  "  do  have  mercy 
on  my  poor  old  widowed  ears,  and  regale  them  with  one  of 
the  songs  of  other  days,  such  as  you  and  my  Virginia  know 
so  well  how  to  sing.  Come  Lowe,  bring  her  along."  The 
colonel  opened  a  passage,  and  Lucy  suffered  Lowe  to  conduct 
her  to  the  piano.  She  sat  down  before  the  instrument, 
without  seeming  to  be  conscious  of  the  multitude  of  glances 
directed  towards  her.  She  was  calm  and  pensive.  Turning 
over  the  leaves,  she  selected  a  song  congenial  to  her  feelings. 
The  words  had  been  written  by  one  of  the  great  poets  of  a 
preceding  generation,  and  expressed  the  tumultuous  emotions 
and  affection  of  an  innocent  heart  wounded  by  one  who  had 
been  the  victim  of  a  wicked  deception.  So  electric  is  deep 
human  feeling,  that  every  one  coming  in  contact  with  it  par 
takes  of  its  nature  and  influence.  The  first  notes  of  the  in 
strument  under  the  gentle  touch  of  her  rosy  fingers,  imparted 
a  thrill  of  softened  sadness  to  every  person  that  heard  them. 
And  when  the  sound  of  her  exquisitely  modulated  voice  suc 
ceeded,  conveying  the  full  inspiration  of  the  poet,  by  the  pro 
per  emphasis^  the  expression,  the  gestures — the  spell  of 
enchantment  was  complete,  and  not  the  slightest  whisper  could 
be  heard  in  that  vast  assembly.  And  when  the  last  word  was 
uttered  by  the  fair  songstress,  and  her  ivory  arm  reclined 
motionless  on  the  keys,  and  her  bosom  rose  and  fell  like  the 
billows  of  the  ocean  after  the  cessation  of  a  storm,  a  pro 
tracted  silence  ensued. 

The  colonel  stood  on  one  side  with  folded  arms,  his  chin 
sunk  upon  his  breast.  Lowe,  pale,  listless,  and  immobile  as  a 
statue,  was  on  the  other.  The  first  movement  was  made  by 
Walter,  who  stepped  forward,  and  encircling  the  neck  of  his 
sister,  bestowed  a  kiss  upon  her  snowy  forehead. 

"  I  will  do  that  too  !  "  exclaimed  the  bridegroom,  rising 
spasmodically  from  the  sofa  where  his  spouse  had  hitherto 
confined  him.  "  She  is  of  my  own  flesh  and  blood,  and  I  am 
proud  of  her."  But  before  he  could  execute  his  purpose,  he 
was  overtaken  by  his  wife,  who  whispered  a  few  magical  words 
in  his  ear  which  induced  him  to  resume  his  seat. 

Lowe  conducted  Lucy  back  to  the  dim  recess  she  coveted, 


106  THE    WINKLES, 

and  then  strode  out  upon  the  lawn  in  the  moonlight,  while  the 
sad  girl,  reclining  her  chin  upon  her  hand,  gazed  after  him 
through  the  glass  door  that  opened  upon  the  terrace.  But 
she  had  not  long  maintained  that  pensive  attitude,  before  she 
was  startled  by  the  presence  of  one,  who  had  never  hitherto 
ventured  to  address  her  except  in  answer  to  some  interrogatory 
relating  to  his  duties  behind  the  counter.  This  was  Mr.  Blot 
ter,  the  clerk  of  Fibber,  a  shopkeeper  in  the  village. 

"  Don't  be  down-hearted,  miss,"  said  he,  "for  every  body 
who  has  a  heart,  can't  help  feeling  for  you." 

"  Feeling  for  me,  sir  ?  "  exclaimed  Lucy,  in  utter  astonish 
ment. 

"  Yes,  miss.  Every  body  is  saying  that  your  mother  will 
be  poor,  now  ;  and  Mr.  Fibber,  my  employer,  who  trusted  Miss 
Gusset  on  your  mother's  recommendation,  has  ordered  me  not 
to  run  up  a  long  account  this  year  with  the  widow -" 

"  I  don't  understand  this,  sir.  Pray  excuse  me,"  said 
Lucy. 

"  It  means  that  Mr.  Fibber  is  no  gentleman,  and  next  year 
when  my  time  is  up  with  him,  and  I  get  my  little  money  from 
my  guardian,  I  mean  to  tell  him  so,  if  you  will  give  me 
liberty." 

"  What  do  you  desire  of  me  ?  "  asked  Lucy  turning  her 
eyes  full  upon  the  young  man. 

"  All  I  want  to  say  is  your  singing  made  the  tears  come 
into  my  eyes/  and  I  feel  as  if  I  could  die  to  do  you  any  good. 
And  if  all  the  world  deserts  you,  Miss  Lucy,  remember  that 
I,  Dick  Blotter,  am  your  friend  till  death.  I  would  marry 
you  in  a  minute  !  " 

Before  Lucy  could  utter  a  word  in  response  to  such  an 
unlooked-for  declaration,  the  shopkeeper's  clerk  had  vanished. 
She  buried  her  face  in  her  handkerchief,  and  her  whole  frame 
was  seized  with  convulsive  agitations.  Lowe,  who  witnessed 
the  scene  from  his  position  without,  had  returned,  and  was 
now  standing  beside  her. 

11  Lucy,'5  said  he,  "  who  has  offended  you  ?  " 

"  Offended  me  ?  "  she  asked,  raising  her  face,  bedewed  with 
tears,  and  exhibiting  the  traces — -not  of  displeasure — but  of 
excessive  laughter ! 

"  I  see  I  was  mistaken,"  said  Lowe,  turning  away,  as  if  to 
retire. 

"  Hear  what  it  was,"  said  Lucy.     She  then  recapitulated 


ORDERS    COUNTERMANDED.  107 

what  had  been  communicated  by  poor  Blotter,  and  Lowe  could 
not  repress  the  smile  which  struggled  to  relax  his  features. 

"  But,  Lucy,"  said  he,  sighing,  and  occupying  a  seat  at  her 
side,  which  served  to  shield  her  from  the  prying  glances  of  the 
flitting  company,  "  the  things  which  poor  Blotter  has  revealed 
to  you  are  freely  discussed  by  the  guests  of  your  new  aunt 
One  cannot  avoid  hearing  them,  let  him  turn  whithersoever 
he  will." 

"  I  am  aware  of  it,"  said  Lucy. 

"  Then  why  not  escape  such  annoyances?" 

"  How  can  I  escape  them  ?  But  they  shall  not  annoy 
me." 

"  How  ?     I  have  told  you.     Promise " 

u  Edmund — I  can  promise  no  more  !  I  have,  perhaps, 
already  pledged  too  much.  You  have  every  information  that 
can  be  desired  in  regard  to  my  family — to  my  condition  and 
prospects.  Then  why  do  you  withhold  from  my  mother  the 
communication  which  you  say  must  prove  satisfactory  ?  I 
will  make  no  further  confession.  I  am  pledged  never  to  be 
involved  in  any  irrevocable  entanglement  of  the  heart  without 
her  concurrence.  My  word  to  her  shall  be  held  inviolably 
eacred.  Proceed  no  farther — cease  to  refer  to  the  subject — 
unless  you  are  prepared  to  satisfy  my  mother." 

"  Do  you  doubt,  Lucy  ?  " 

"  I  do  not !  Let  that  suffice.  Urge  me  no  further.  My 
duty  must  be  performed-— shall  be  performed — even  if  I  sur 
vive  it  not." 

"  Lucy  !  I  love  you  beyond  all  human  power  of  expression  ! 
and  I  never  loved  another !  But  why  repeat  what  I  have  so 
often  declared  already.  Would  to  heaven  I  were  richer.  But 
I  have  a  sufficient  income  for  happiness  in  a  village " 

"  Pray  do  not  speak  thus,  Mr.  Lowe.  Your  thoughts  seem 
to  be  uttered  unconsciously,  and  you  may  be  heard  by 
others." 

"  True.  Forgive  me.  My  life  of  solitude  has  engendered 
the  habit.  But,  believe  me,  Lucy,  whatever  others  may  sup 
pose,  I  have  no  thoughts  which  might  not  be  uttered  within 
the  hearing  of  any  one  as  gentle  and  pure  in  heart  as  your 
self." 

At  this  juncture  Bill  Dizzle,  decked  in  his  Sunday 
clothes,  glided  through  one  of  the  long  folding  glass  doors  that 
opened  on  the  terrace,  and  made  his  way  expeditiously  to  the 


108  THE    WINKLES. 

Bofa  on  which  the  lord  of  the  establishment  was  sitting.  He 
placed  a  short  despatch  in  his  hand,  and  then  stood  apart  as  if 
awaiting  his  orders. 

"  To  arms  !  To  arms  !  "  shouted  the  aroused  Napoleon. 
"  We  are  invaded  !  The  enemy  are  upon  us  !  Let  the  drums 
beat — mount  horses — sound  the  bugle,  and  away !  " 

"  Stop  !  Bill  Dizzle  !  "  cried  the  now  imperious  Mrs.  Na 
poleon  Winkle,  seizing  the  messenger  with  one  hand,  and 
snatching  the  despatch  away  from  her  lord  with  the  other. 
"Don't  be  frightened,  my  friends,"  continued  she;  "it  is  a 
false  alarm,  and  intended  as  a  joke.  I'll  read  the  intelligence. 
'  The  red  boar  has  thrown  down  the  palings  and  led  the  whole 
drove  into  the  garden?  Bill,"  said  she,  amidst  the  shouts  of 
laughter  that  ensued,  "  whistle  up  the  dogs  and  drive  the  pigs 
out  of  the  garden." 

Napoleon  sank  back  subdued  on  the  sofa. 

"  You  know,  Mr.  Winkle,"  said  his  spouse,  perceiving  his 
humiliation,  "  it  was  stipulated  that  I  should  direct  the  little 
domestic  matters  which  occur  about  the  house.  If  you  had 
been  in  the  field,  this  affair  would  have  fallen  under  your  ju 
risdiction." 

u  Oh,  madam,  if  it  be  really  a  false  alarm,  every  one  will 
be  indebted  to  you  for  so  prompt  and  complete  a  suppression 
of  it ;  and  I  shall  have  cause  to  congratulate  myself  on  finding 
in  my  spouse  so  valuable  an  auxiliary.  No  doubt  when  I  am 
called  to  the  distant  north,  you  will  make  an  efficient  regent." 

"  Yes.  I'll  undertake  to  govern  in  your  absence.  But} 
you  know,  it  is  all  a  joke.  The  silly  people  pretend  to  say 
that  you  really  believe  the  bulls  are  the  British,  the  hogs  the 
Russians,  and  yourself  the  great  Corsican  chieftain.  It  is  not 
so — is  it  ?  Tell  me  it  was  all  for  your  amusement !  Tell  me 
so  on  this,  your  wedding  night  I  " 

"  Of  course,  my  dear.  I  never  supposed  such  things  to  be 
really  as  I  called  them,  or  as  they  may  have  been  represented 
by  others.  But  every  one  has  some  hobby  or  other,  and  I 
have  mine.  I  sometimes  become  excited  to  such  a  degree 
that,  no  doubt,  I  am  capable  of  imagining  any  thing.  And 
that  is  my  felicity,  which  I  should  be  sorry  to  have  destroyed. 
In  childhood  our  toy  horses,  and  men  and  beasts,  are  real 
flesh  and  blood  in  our  estimation.  In  age,  we  are  only  chil 
dren  of  a  larger  growth,  and  as  long  as  our  infatuations  do 
not  injure  others,  I  think  they  might  be  regarded  as  allowable 


ANOTHER    DESPATCH.  109 

and  justifiable.  One  of  the  good  effects,  my  dear,  of  the  hal 
lucination  attributed  to  me,  was  the  accidental  discovery  of 
one  I  deemed  capable  of  sympathy  and  disposed  to  defend  my 
innocent  motives  whenever  they  might  be  assailed.  I  need 
not  name  her." 

"  I  will  defend  you — you  may  rely  upon  it,"  said  his 
spouse,  with  some  misgivings  as  to  the  extent  she  might  pro 
ceed  with  safety  in  taking  possession  of  the  reins.  It  flashed 
upon  her  understanding,  that  in  the  event  of  a  rupture,  she 
might  possibly  be  expelled  from  her  magnificent  home,  and 
therefore  it  might  be  prudent  to  infuse  a  particle  more  of  con 
ciliation  in  her  preliminary  measures.  There  were  many 
methods  of  reducing  husbands  to  subjection;  but  if  all  of 
them  should  fail,  there  could  be  no  foe  sufficiently  potential  to 
take  from  her  the  respectable  name  of  Winkle,  and  of  confer 
ring  the  odious  one  of  Gusset  upon  her  again. 

The  meditations  of  the  aspiring  bride  were  put  to  flight 
by  a  sudden  flash,  more  vivid  than  the  light  of  the  wax  candles, 
and  which  was  succeeded  by  a  tremendous  explosion  of  artil 
lery.  A  great  many  slight  screams  were  heard — the  dancers 
paused  in  mid  career,  and  the  musicians  let  fall  their  instru 
ments.  The  bride  sprang  up,  pale,  and  quivering  with  vexa 
tion. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  "Winkle !  "  said  she,  "  you  promised  there  should 
be  none  of  this." 

"  I  did,  indeed,  my  dear — and  I  am  one  who  keeps  his 
word.  I  must  know  the  meaning  of  it.  Blore  shall  be  called 
to  an  account.  Unless  he  can  show  that  it  is  one  of  the  anni 
versaries  we  have  been  in  the  habit  of " 

"  Oh,  if  you  can  excuse  him  on  such  a  pretext  as  that,  he 
will  not  be  punished ;  for  I  have  heard  it  said  that  Bona 
parte  fought  bloody  battles  on  every  day  of  the  summer 
months." 

"  And  if  he  fought,  of  course  he  won,"  replied  Napoleon 
Winkle. 

Bill  Dizzle  glided  in  and  placed  another  despatch  in  the 
hand  of  Napoleon. 

"  Dizzle,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle  reproachfully.  "  I  told  you  to 
bring  no  more  papers  here  to-night." 

"  How  can  I  help  it,  mam  ?  They'd  shoot  me  if  I  didn't 
obey  orders." 

"  It  was  a  mistake,"  said  Mr.  Winkle.     "  Sergeant  Blore, 


110  THE   WINKLES. 

you  know,  has  only  one  eye,  and  he  says  the  calendar  was 
blotted.  He  begs  pardon.  It  is  granted.  The  great  battle 
was  not  fought  on  this  day — neither  did  it  result  in  such  a 
manner  as  to  call  for  commemoration.  Yet  I  forgive  him." 

"  What  great  battle  ?  "  asked  several. 

"  Waterloo !  And  the  sergeant  must  have  been  indulging 
excessively  in  strong  potations,  to  forget  how  that  struggle 
terminated,  since  he  lost  two  of  his  limbs  and  an  eye  on  the 
occasion.  But  he  writes  me  the  cause  of  the  apparent  loud- 
ness  of  the  report  was  the  pointing  of  the  guns  in  this  direc 
tion." 

"  Are  they  aiming  the  cannons  at  us  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Crudle5 
in  great  alarm. 

"  There  were  no  balls  in  them,  madam.  They  fire  blank 
cartridges  on  such  occasions." 

"  Walter,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  "  won't  you  oblige  me  by  re 
questing  the  sergeant  to  commit  no  more  such  mistakes  to* 
night?" 

"  With  pleasure,"  responded  the  young  gentleman,  who 
was  happy  to  have  an  excuse  for  being  absent.  And  in  truth 
the  discharge  of  the  guns  had  been  in  pursuance  of  his  instruc 
tions. 

Towards  midnight  the  guests  dispersed  to  their  respective 
homes,  the  Arums  and  Crudles  inviting  Parke  and  Snobson 
into  their  coaches. 

Lucy  was  despatched  in  Mr.  Roland's  carriage,  which  her 
new  aunt  had  procured  for  that  purpose,  as  her  own  was  too 
heavy  to  be  driven  quickly,  and  she  had  promised  her  sister 
to  send  Lucy  home  that  night. 

Old  John  Dowly  and  Edmund  Lowe  were  the  last  to  de 
part  ;  the  one  in  his  old-fashioned  gig,  and  the  other  on  foot, 
he  being  a  famous  walker. 

Then  the  house  was  carefully  closed  under  the  directions 
of  Mrs.  Griselda  Winkle,  who  now  assumed  the  reins  in  earn 
est,  and  informed  the  domestics,  male  and  female,  and  parti' 
cularly  the  latter,  and  in  the  presence  of  her  assenting  lord, 
that  every  command  she  issued  was  to  be  implicitly  obeyed. 
The  housekeeper  and  the  cook  looked  rebellion,  but  made  no 
opposition.  They  knew  that  Griselda  was  not  an  inexperi 
enced  timid  miss,  for  she  had  long  kept  a  house  of  her  own, 
and  was  familiar  with  the  use  of  bolts  and  bars.  And  when 
the  doors  were  made  fast,  she  undertook  to  allot  apartments 


A    NIGHT    ADVENTURE.  Ill 

for  the  various  lodgers,  having  a  most  extraordinarily  accurate 
comprehension  of  the  plan  and  capacity  of  the  fine  old  man 
sion.  The  females  were  sent  to  the  most  distant  chambers, 
while  Walter's  apartment  on  the  second  floor  was  only  sepa 
rated  from  her  own  by  the  corridor  that  ran  between.  The 
doors  were  opposite.  Sergeant  Blore  occupied  a  small  room 
at  the  head  of  the  stairs,  communicating  with  Walter's  by  a 
door  in  the  thin  partition.  He  had  long  occupied  this  room, 
as  it  was  convenient  to  his  chief,  and  Mr.  Winkle  had  inti 
mated  a  desire  that  he  should  continue  to  sleep  there. 

Finally  the  key  was  turned  in  the  door  opposite  to  Wal 
ter's,  and  all  was  still.  Not  even  a  retiring  step  was  heard, 
The  only  sound  that  arose  on  the  ear  was  the  ticking  of  the 
great  high  clock  in  the  hall  below,  which  seemed  to  be  more 
distinctly  heard  at  every  successive  swing  of  the  pendulum. 

Walter,  after  lying  awake  some  fifteen  minutes,  arose  softly, 
opened  his  door,  and  descended  the  stairway  in  his  stocking 
feet.  He  proceeded  to  the  rear  door  of  the  hall,  which  he 
opened  noiselessly.  He  then  beckoned  his  confederates  under 
the  spreading  chestnut  tree.  Bill  Dizzle  came  first,  and  was 
followed  by  a  dozen  others,  bearing  muskets,  whose  burnished 
barrels  glittered  in  the  moonlight.  But  not  a  footfall  was  heard. 
All  had  divested  themselves  of  their  shoes.  The  door  was 
carefully  fastened  after  them,  and  they  proceeded  in  single 
file  up  the  great  stairway,  stepping  softly  after  their  leader. 
When  turning  at  the  head  of  the  first  flight,  the  rays  of  the 
moon  streaming  through  the  broad  crescent-shaped  window 
fell  upon  them,  giving  them  the  appearance  of  a  spectral  pla 
toon  traversing  some  haunted  castle.  Something  resembling 
a  superstitious  awe  was  felt  by  Walter  as  he  paused  and  looked 
down  upon  the  silent  party.  He  was  not,  however,  to  be  de 
terred  by  any  such  consideration ;  and  continued  to  ascend  until 
he  reached  the  narrow  door  leading  out  upon  the  roof.  This 
was  raised  without  difficulty,  and  the  whole  party  emerged 
again  into  the  open  air. 

The  roof  was  nearly  flat,  and  the  eaves  were  surmounted  by 
a  balustrade,  which  gave  the  building  a  castellated  aspect 
when  viewed  from  a  distance. 

Walter  posted  his  men  in  a  line  directly  over  the  chamber 
occupied  by  his  uncle  and  aunt,  and  made  them  all  sit  down. 
He  then  suspended  a  cord  from  the  roof  over  the  window  of  his 
own  room,  the  upper  end  being  attached  to  Dizzle's  wrist.  By 


112  THE   WINKLES. 

this  means  signals  were  to  be  given.  Walter  then  hastened 
back  to  his  room  and  secured  the  lower  end  of  the  cord.  Af 
ter  the  completion  of  these  preparations,  he  opened  the  door 
in  the  partition,  and  reported  every  thing  to  the  old  sergeant, 
who  had  impatiently  awaited  him,  with  his  great  eye  blinking 
in  the  moonlight.  It  had  been  with  difficulty  that  Walter 
prevented  the  old  mutilated  warrior  from  leading  the  party  in 
person.  It  was  obvious  that  his  wooden  leg  not  only  rendered 
him  incapable  of  scaling  walls,  but  made  it  impossible  for  him 
to  advance  or  retire  without  producing  sounds  incompatible 
with  any  plan  of  secrecy. 

"  Have  they  wooden  rammers  ?  "  asked  Blore. 

"  Yes." 

"  And  their  breeches  padded  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  And  instructions  not  to  let  any  burning  wads  fall  before 
the  windows  in  front  ?  " 

"  Every  thing  has  been  done  as  you  directed." 

"  Then  creep  out  and  listen  if  your  uncle  is  asleep.  If  he 
sleeps,  he  snores.  He  always  does." 

"  I  heard  him  snoring  before  I  came  to  you." 

"  Very  well,  give  the  signal,  and  then  jump  into  your  bed. 
But  don't  you  snore.  They  might  suspect  something." 

Walter  pulled  the  string.  The  next  moment  the  twelve 
muskets  were  fired  in  admirable  order,  making  but  a  single  re 
port,  and  that  a  terrific  one,  the  echoes  and  reverberations  of 
which  could  be  heard  for  many  moments  afterwards  among  the 
distant  hills. 

"  Ha-ah  !  wa-ah  !  "  screamed  Griselda,  whose  lids  had  not 
yet  been  visited  by  slumber,  in  consequence  of  the  distressing 
nasal  sounds  so  impolitely  vented  by  her  lord.  But  when  the 
appalling  report  overhead  rent  her  tympanums,  she  sprang 
up  and  screamed  with  a  desperate  violence,  sufficient  almost  to 
awaken  the  dead. 

"  Bless  me !  what's  all  this  ?  "  asked  Mr.  Winkle,  starting  up. 

'•  Oh  !  they're  shooting  all  round  the  house  !  Faugh  !  I'm 
suffocated  with  the  smoke  !  "  It  being  warm,  the  upper  sashes 
of  the  windows  had  been  lowered  to  admit  the  fresh  air. 

"  Sergeant  Blore  !  what  does  this  mean  ?  "  cried  Mr.  Win 
kle,  fully  aroused  by  the  smell  of  gunpowder,  whch  he  knew 
could  not  be  the  effects  of  a  dream,  or  the  creation  of  a  lively 
imagination.  "  Blore,  I  say  !  D your  eye  !  "  continued 


A    MIDNIGHT    SALUTE.  113 

Winkle,  running  across  the  chamber  in  his  gown,  "  I'll  court- 
martial  you !  Get  in  bed  again,  madam.  I'll  return  as  soon 
as  I  find  out  the  leader  of  this  party.  If  Blore  is  not  in  his 
bed,  he  is  guilty.  Honor  or  no  honor — I'll  give  them  a  les 
son  !  I  can't  find  my  slippers.  Insubordination  and  disobedi 
ence  !  The  legs  of  my  drawers  are  twisted.  I'll  have  them  all 
drummed  out  of  my  service  !  Here's  your  night-cap,  madam. 
Blore  !  Blore,  I  say  !  "  continued  the  exasperated  command 
er,  striding  across  the  corridor,  and  bursting  open  the  door 
of  the  sergeant's  chamber. 

"  Who  comes  there  ?  Halt,  or  I  fire  !  "  cried  the  sergeant, 
and  at  the  same  time  cocking  a  pistol,  which  could  be  distinct 
ly  heard  by  the  intruder. 

"  It's  your  general,  Blore.  Don't  kill  him  on  his  wedding 
night.  I  thought  you  were  the  leader  of  a  storming  party 
that  won't  permit  Mrs.  Winkle  to  enjoy  any  repose.  Have  you 
been  up,  Blore  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,  upon  the  word  of  a  soldier." 

"  Did  you  not  just  now  hear  the  report  of  musketry  under 
the  very  walls  of  the  house  ?  " 

"  No,  sir  ;   you  must  have  been  dreaming  of  battles." 

"  No,  Blore.  Besides,  our  chamber  is  filled  with  the  smoke." 

"  Imagination." 

"  I  tell  you  no  !  Griselda  heard  it,  and  is  now  almost 
smothered  with  the  smell  of  burnt  powder." 

"  It  may  be  the  devil's  breath.  I  think  he  is  an  admirer 
of  hers." 

"  Irreverent  monster  !  How  dare  you  speak  in  that  man 
ner  of  my  spouse  !  "  Uttering  these  indignant  words,  the  com 
mander  closed  the  door  violently,  and  returned  to  his  own 
chamber.  After  reconnoitering  the  ground  from  the  windows, 
and  finding  no  symptoms  of  animation,  he  rejoined  his  spouse, 
assuring  her  that  the  enemy  had  fled,  and  would  not  be  likely 
to  disturb  them  again. 

Griselda,  in  tears,  vented  a  great  many  reproaches,  and 
succeeded  in  obtaining  a  promise  that  certain  reforms  should 
be  instituted  in  the  household. 

Then  profound  silence  again  ensued,  which  was,  however, 
soon  interrupted  by  the  snoring  of  Napoleon,  a  sound  for  which 
Walter  was  impatiently  listening. 

Again  the  signal  was  given,  and  another  volley  ensued, 
more  startling  than  the  first.  Walter  leaped  into  his  bed. 


114  THE   WINKLES. 

Blore  began  to  snore.  The  bride  renewed  her  screams,  and 
the  heavy  body  of  the  groom  was  distinctly  heard  in  its  descent 
to  the  floor.  Seizing  a  brace  of  pistols,  Mr.  Winkle  rushed  to 
the  window,  and  discharged  them  through  the  clouds  of  smoke 
at  whatever  objects  might  be  standing  below,  for  the  earth  it- 
self  was  invisible. 

"  I  am  firing  balls ! "  said  he.  "  It  will  not  be  child's  play  if 
any  one  comes  in  range.  Where  is  my  sword  ?  "  he  contin 
ued,  rushing  to  the  corner  where  the  weapon  invariably  hung. 
'•  Now,  I'll  see  who  it  is  !  "  He  ran  out  of  the  chamber,  and 
once  more  entered  the  sergeant's  room. 

"  Who  goes  there  ?  "  cried  the  sergeant. 

"  I !  it  is  Napoleon  !  The  house  is  beset !  My  sword  is 
drawn,  and  shall  not  be  returned  to  its  scabbard  until  my  ene 
mies  are  subdued.  Follow  me  !  "  He  turned  about  and  de 
scended  the  broad  stairway,  while  Griselda  called  upon  him  in 
vain  to  return.  He  rushed  out  into  the  yard  as  soon  as  he  could 
open  the  door,  by  which  time  the  sergeant  had  joined  him,  and 
they  searched  in  every  direction  for  the  invaders.  The  sword 
was  thrust  into  every  bush,  and  Blore  was  ordered  to  fire 
his  pistols  at  every  tree.  But  no  enemy  could  be  found,  al 
though  the  smoke  of  the  recent  discharges  descended  from  the 
roof  and  rolled  in  volumes  over  the  lawn. 

Meantime  a  suspicion  crossed  the  mind  of  Griselda,  that 
Walter  might  be  the  contriver  of  the  mischief,  and  she  made 
no  scruple  of  satisfying  herself  on  that  point  in  a  very  direct 
manner.  She  ran  into  his  chamber,  and  never  paused  until  she 
stood  beside  his  bed. 

"  Are  you  here,  Walter  ?  "  she  asked,  although,  at  the  time, 
she  held  him  firmly  by  the  wrist. 

"  Of  course  I  am,"  was  the  reply.  "  But  what  are  you  do 
ing  here  ?  " 

"  Oh !  had  I  known  I  was  to  suffer  thus,"  she  exclaimed 
hysterically, Ci  I  would  not  have  married  your  uncle  !  To  think 
I  should  be  so  insulted  and  frightened  the  first  night  of  my 
married  life !  What  shall  I  do,  dear  Walter  ! " 

"  Go  to  bed  !  " 

"  Your  uncle  has  gone  out  to  hunt  the  villains,  and  I  am 
frightened  half  to  death." 

"  What  is  the  matter  ?     What  frightens  you  ?  " 

"  Did  you  not  hear  it  ?  They  have  been  firing  a  hundred 
guns  under  our  windows." 


WHO  GOES   THERE?  115 

"  They  have  ?     I  must  have  been  asleep.     Who  did  it  ?  " 

"  No  one  knows.  There  !  didn't  you  hear  that  ?  It  is  Ser 
geant  Blore's  pistols  Somebody  will  be  shot !  " 

"  I'll  get  up  and  s$e  what  it's  all  about.  Go  out,  Gusset, 
till  I  dress." 

"  Don't  call  me  Gusset,  Walter." 

"  Very  well.     But  I  must  get  up." 

"  Do,  Walter,"  said  Griselda,  retiring,  "  and  rouse  all  the 
people  about  the  house.  Find  out  the  names  of  the  ringleaders} 
and  I'll  answer  for  it,  they  will  not  frighten  us  another 
time." 

Walter  manifested  great  zeal  in  his  endeavors  to  dis 
cover  the  guilty  party.  Every  one  was  roused ;  and  by  the 
time  his  uncle  and  the  sergeant  returned  from  their  fruit 
less  search  without,  every  apartment  within  had  been  explored, 
but  to  no  purpose. 

But  before  attempting  again  to  seek  the  repose  so  impera 
tively  demanded  after  such  unreasonable  interruptions,  a  new 
idea  occurred  to  Mrs.  Winkle,  and  the  proposition  she  made 
obtained  the  hearty  approbation  of  her  lord.  This  was  to 
bring  the  bull-dog  from  the  garrison,  and  to  turn  the  whole 
pack  of  hounds  loose  on  the  lawn.  The  order  was  issued,  and 
immediately  executed  ;  and  as  the  bull-dog  was  really  a  very 
dangerous  animal,  the  chief  solaced  himself  with  the  belief 
that  the  house  could  not  be  again  approached  with  impunity 
by  his  tormentors. 

Quiet  being  again  restored  under  such  favorable  auspices, 
and  one  or  two  blunderbusses  having  been  ordered  into  Napo 
leon's  room  from  the  armory,  the  bride  again  retired  to  her 
canopied  couch — and  was  just  falling  into  an  oblivious  slumber, 
when  Walter  gave  the  signal,  and  another  volley  was  fired  ! 

The  bridegroom  tumbled  out  of  bed,  and  running  to  the 
nearest  window,  fired  the  blunderbuss  at  random,  which  took 
effect  among  the  pack  of  hounds  below,  and  such  a  squalling 
and  howling  ensued  as  never  before  assailed  Griselda's  ears. 
She  screamed,  and  tore  her  dishevelled  hair,  while  her  lord 
gave  vent  to  volley  after  volley  of  fierce  maledictions.  Again 
he  rushed  into  the  sergeant's  room,  into  which,  as  into  all  the 
rest,  the  smoke  had  by  this  time  penetrated,  and  again  his  ears 
were  saluted  with  the  interrogation, 

«  Who  goes  there  ?  " 

They  descended   to  the   lawn,  the  chief  with  his   drawn 


116  THE    WINKLES. 

sword,  and  the  sergeant  with  his  pistols.  No  less  than  four 
of  the  hounds  lay  wounded  and  howling  on  the  green  sward. 
They  were  despatched  for  the  sake  of  peace.  But  they  made 
no  discovery  of  the  offenders. 

And  Griselda  ran  into  Walter's  room  a  second  time,  and 
implored  him,  if  he  were  concerned  in  the  annoyance,  to  cease 
for  her  sake,  and  for  his  own  sake  in  the  future. 

"  Do  you  not  see  I  have  been  lying  quietly  in  my  bed  ?  " 
said  he.  "  I  am  almost  determined  to  get  up  and  go  home  !  " 

"  I  wish  you  would,  and  take  me  with  you  !  "  said  the 
weeping  bride.  "  They  have  made  no  discovery,"  said  she. 
"  I  hear  them  fastening  the  hall  door  again.  I  will  sit  up 
the  rest  of  the  night  and  watch.  What  string  is  this,  Wal 
ter  ?  "  she  continued,  having  espied  the  cord  that  hung  down 
from  the  balustrade  and  entered  the  window. 

"  What  string  ?  Oh,  that's  nothing  !  Let  it  alone.  Don't 
touch  it!  It  is  a  part  of  a  bird's  nest  above." 

"  I  won't  have  birds'  nests  on  the  house.  Let  them  build 
in  the  trees  !  "  Saying  this  she  pulled  the  cord  violently,  and 
the  next  moment  a  volley,  more  stunning  than  any  that  had 
preceded  it,  rent  the  air.  Poor  Griselda  fell  fainting  in  the 
arms  of  Walter,  who  bore  her  into  her  own  room,  and  laid  her 
on  her  bed,  where  he  left  her.  As  he  returned  to  the  corridor 
he  perceived  his  uncle,  followed  by  the  sergeant,  re-descending 
the  stairway  with  all  the  expedition  in  their  power,  evidently 
impressed  with  the  belief  that  the  intruders  would  now  stand 
revealed  before  them.  But  the  commander  was  certainly  dis 
appointed,  and  he  retraced  his  steps,  expressing  his  belief  that 
his  house  was  infested  by  the  ghosts  of  soldiers  slain  in 
battle. 

"  That  may  satisfy  you,"  said  his  recovered  spouse,  incen 
sed  at  being  left  alone  in  her  swoon,  "  but  not  me.  I  don't 
believe  in  such  things  at  all.  It  is  a  contrivance  to  mortify 
and  vex  me,  and  I'll  find  it  out.  Let  them  fire  away.  The}' 
don't  hurt  us.  I'm  not  alarmed  now.  There  will  be  an  end 
of  it  in  the  morning.  But  I  want  you  to  promise  that  when  I 
have  detected  and  exposed  the  villains3  they  shall  never  come 
about  the  house  again." 

This  was  readily  granted,  and  soon  after  the  overwrought 
Napoleon's  snore  began  once  more  to  be  heard.  Walter  was 
listening  in  the  corridor ;  but  now  Griselda,  who  had  risen, 
was  on  the  alert,  and  nerved  to  brave  any  thing  that  phantoms 


THE   OFFENDER    DISCOVERED.  117 

or  flesh  and  blood  might  do.  She  glided  to  the  door,  and  with 
her  ear  to  the  key-hole  distinguished  the  breathing  of  the  young 
man.  She  heard  him  retire  to  his  own  room,  and  she  followed 
him  softly.  It  was  just  when  he  extended  his  hand  to  seize 
the  cord,  that  his  arm  was  grasped  by  his  aunt.  He  turned 
in  dismay,  and  gazed  at  her. 

"I've  caught  you,  Walter!  I  understand  it  now.  I 
thought  the  sound  came  from  above.  It  was  a  wicked  contri 
vance.  What  have  I  done  to  deserve  this  ?  " 

"  Oh,  it  was  only  a  little  sport.  Don't  tell  uncle  Winkle, 
and  you  shall  not  be  disturbed  any  more." 

"  I  shall  make  no  promises,  unless  you  promise — swear — 
no — no  matter.  I  have  you  in  my  power,  now.  Beware ! 
You  may  escape  until  the  next  offence.  But  the  villains  shall 
be  banished  from  my  sight.  See  !  the  day  has  broken,  and 
the  sun  about  to  rise.  I  will  awaken  your  uncle,  and  show 
him  who  dared  to  disturb  his  peace." 

"  No  !  aunt — dear  aunt " 

"  It  is  too  late.  You  may  escape,  but  not  the  rascals  on 
the  roof.  I  only  wish  the  foolish  sergeant  had  been  among 
them." 

She  hastened  to  put  her  threat  in  execution,  and  assisted 
her  lord  in  a  hasty  adjustment  of  his  toilet. 

The  offending  party — or  rather  the  instruments  of  the  con 
trivers  of  the  plot — were  discovered,  and  made  the  victims  of 
Griselda's  vengeance.  They  were  ordered  down,  and  forbid 
den  to  approach  the  house  again  under  penalty  of  dismissal 
from  the  service. 

Bill  Dizzle,  however,  escaped  identification  by  an  acci 
dental  discharge  of  his  musket,  which  completely  blackened 
his  face. 

It  was,  after  all,  a  great  triumph  for  the  mistress  of  thev 
establishment,  as  it  afforded  her  an  opportunity  of  making 
many  demands  of  her  lord,  to  accomplish  which  might,  other 
wise,  have  required  much  ingenuity  and  long  suffering. 


118  THE   WINKLES. 

CHAP  TEE    XII. 

A  MOONLIGHT  ADVENTURE,  AND  SOME  OF  THE  CONSEQUENCES. 

ALTHOUGH  Lucy  had  listened  to  so  many  proposals  of  a 
nature  calculated  to  produce  an  exaltation  of  spirits,  yet,  as  we 
have  seen,  she  was  the  unresisting  victim  of  a  sad  depression 
during  the  progress  of  the  festivities.  When  the  time  was  an 
nounced  for  her  departure,  a  scene  of  contention  between  the 
coachmen  of  the  Arums  and  the  Crudles,  for  precedence,  occur 
red  in  front  of  the  portico,  and  within  her  view,  while  the  car 
riage  which  was  to  convey  her  to  the  village  was  kept  in  waiting. 
She  felt  no  resentment,  however,  and  could  not  endure  any 
additional  mortification.  The  tumult  of  her  sensations,  and 
the  whirl  of  her  recently  startled  thoughts,  had  not  sufficient 
ly  subsided,  for  her  attention  to  be  arrested  by  the  scene  of 
strife  she  witnessed  ;  and  the  imperturbable  submission  of  her 
own  coachman,  prevented  him  from  taking  advantage  of  the 
opportunity  afforded  of  departing  with  his  charge,  while  the 
point  in  dispute  between  the  rival  whips  was  undergoing  the 
process  of  adjustment. 

Her  aunt  stood  upon  one  side,  and  Walter  on  the  other. 
Lowe  appeared  when  the  Arums  and  the  Crudles  drove  off, 
and  assisted  her  up  the  carriage  steps.  He  whispered,  that 
although  he  would  return  on  foot,  he  thought  he  might  be  able 
to  keep  in  view  of  her,  and  act  in  the  capacity  of  a  guard. 
This  was  after  Walter  had  intimated  that  if  he  were  in  Lowe's 
place  he  would  be  Lucy's  companion  inside  ;  but  the  intima 
tion  had  not  been  approved  by  Griselda.  The  distance  was 
short,  and  the  moon  shone  with  great  splendor. 

Mr.  Dowly  turned  his  slow  pacing  horse  to  the  right  and 
pursued  his  way  directly  towards  his  own  isolated  mansion. 
Lowe  bounded  forward  in  pursuit  of  Lucy's  carriage.  But 
he  was  not  able  to  overtake  it.  The  driver,  hitherto  so  stu 
pidly  immobile,  upon  seeing  the  pedestrian  cracked  his  whip, 
dashed  several  hundred  yards  ahead,  and  suddenly  halted. 
Had  Lowe  been  something  nearer  the  object  of  his  interest, 
undoubtedly  his  heart  had  been  thrilled  to  its  centre.  As  it 
was,  he  imagined  that  cries  had  been  uttered. 


ANOTHER    PROPOSAL.  119 

No  sooner  did  the  carriage  pause  than  a  man  stepped  from 
behind  a  huge  sycamore  tree,  and  pulled  open  the  door.  He 
sprang  in,  and  the  horses  were  again  driven  at  a  rapid  pace. 

"  Mr.  Roland  !  What  is  meant  by  this  conduct  ?  "  cried 
Lucy,  striving  to  be  calm,  or  rather  to  repress  her  rising  fears, 
as  if  she  could  not  be  convinced  that  all  her  presence  of  mind 
and  physical  strength  would  soon  be  called  in  requisition. 

"  That  I  adore  you,  Lucy  !  Do  not  be  alarmed,  my  beau 
tiful  bird.  My  apparent  rudeness  has  for  its  excuse  the  dis 
traction  produced  by  your  maddening  charms  !  We  use  strat 
agems  to  entrap  the  sweet  birds  we  treat  so  tenderly.  Be 
assured  that  no  harm  is  intended.  I  listened  to  the  jeers 
of  the  Arums,  the  exultations  of  the  Crudles,  the  depreci 
ating  remarks  of  every  body,  upon  your  destitute  condition, 
and  I  resolved  to  rescue  you  from  such  a  humiliating  predica 
ment " 

"  Mr.  Roland  !  "  said  Lucy,  freeing  the  hand  he  had  seiz 
ed,  "  you  confess,  then,  that  this  rude  and  ungentlemanly  con 
duct  was  deliberately  planned." 

"  For  your  good — for  your  benefit,  as  well  as  mine.  I 
love  you  to  madness — that  is  my  excuse.  Let  your  beauty 
plead  for  me,  as  Ann's  did  for  Richard " 

"  He  was  a  villain !  Heaven  forbid  that  you  should  be 
one,  too  !  Sir  !  if  you  hope  to  be  forgiven — if  you  desire  to 
be  admitted  again  into  my  presence — go — I  beseech  you,  leave 
me  instantly  ! " 

"  Will  you  promise  to  receive  me  as  a  lover — an  humble 
adoring  lover?  " 

"  I  promise  nothing.  I  never  have  encouraged  your  ad 
dresses." 

"  I  cannot  leave  you  without  some  pledge  upon  which  to 
rest  my  hopes.  I  cannot  live  without  you.  And  why  not  be 
mistress  of  all  I  possess — and  now  ?  All  I  am — all  I  have, 
shall  be  yours.  The  Arums  and  Crudles  shall  triumph 
over  you  no  more.  Your  mother  shall  be  independent.  Be 
mine  to  night,  and  to-morrow  your  own  hands  shall  consign  to 
the  flames  the  mortgage  which  encumbers  your  mother's 
homestead." 

"  Leave  me,  sir,  before  it  be  too  late  to  retract  or  to  repair 
the  insult  you  have  offered  me.  Yours  I  never  can  be.  I 
would  rather  subsist  on  the  crumbs  that  fall  from  the  tables 
of  the  Arums  and  Crudles,  than  to  share  your  wealth,  en- 


120  THE   WINKLES. 

cumbered  with  your  hateful  presence  !  Leave  me  before  we 
reach  my  mother's  door,  or  I  will  call  assistance " 

"  Do  not  believe,  my  charming  girl,  that  I  am  capable  of 
permitting  any  such  folly.  Your  unequalled  beauty,  and  my 
wild  and  passionate  love,  must  be  my  justification." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  Do  you  intend  to  prevent  me  from 
going  to  my  mother  ?  " 

"  I  will  take  you  to  a  better  home.  You  shall  be  the 
mistress  of  my  house,  command  my  servants,  hold  my 
purse " 

"  Let  me  go  !  "  cried  the  trembling  girl,  springing  towards 
the  carriage  door. 

"  No.  It  is  useless  for  the  lovely  bird  to  struggle,"  said 
he,  forcibly  withholding  her.  "  Hear  me — listen  to  reason.  I 
do  not  desire  to  take  advantage  of  your  helpless  condition. 
I  will  prove  my  sincerity.  I  have  a  preacher  in  readiness,  who 
shall  unite  us  in  holy  wedlock.  It  will  not  detain  you  five 
minutes.  Then,  if  you  will  pledge  me  that  our  secret  shall 
be  kept  until  the  proper  time  for  divulging  it,  you  may  depart 
immediately,  and  no  one  will  be  the  wiser,  until  we  choose  to 
inform  them.  You  shall  take  the  mortgage  with  you,  and  my 
check  for  any  sum  you  may  name." 

"  Villain  !  Unhand  me  !  You  will  have  to  answer  for 
this  !  It  is  base— it  is  cowardly  !  " 

"  Lucy,  do  not  spurn  my  love !  The  highest  born,  the 
most  accomplished,  the  most  wealthy  ladies  in  the  country, 
have  striven  to  secure  my  heart  and  hand.  I  love  you — you 
alone,  and  cannot  exist  without  you.  Do  not  speak  of  ven 
geance,  for,  distracted  by  love  of  you,  I  have  become  danger 
ous.  If  you  have  any  affection  for  your  brother,  do  not  betray 
him  into  perilous  undertakings.  If  he  assails  me,  he  may 
fall — without  you,  I  do  not  care  to  live.  I  am  desperate  !  " 

"  Let  me  depart !  I  ask  no  more  !  You  shall  not  be  ex 
posed.  But  if  you  detain  me  longer  you  will  be  overtaken  by 
one  who  will  quickly  avenge  me  !  " 

"  Who  ?  Ah,  Lowe  !  I  cannot  see  your  blushes — but  I 
feel  your  throbbing  arteries  !  You  love  him  !  That  is  the 
secret.  A  poor,  pitiful,  insignificant  rival !  Let  him  beware  ! 
If  you  would  save  your  brother  and  friend  from  my  vengeance 
— if  you  would  save  your  own  character  from  stain  -  for  who 
will  believe  you  did  not  go  to  my  house  of  your  own  accord  ? 
— let  the  parson  I  have  provided  perform  the  marriage  cere* 


A    SNAEE.  121 

mony.  You  shall  then  fly  to  your  mother's  roof  before  your 
absence  creates  alarm — and  our  secret  will  be  in  our  own 
keeping.  No  scandal  will  be  uttered,  no  blood  will  be  spilt." 

"  Merciful  heaven  !  "  cried  Lucy.  "  And  am  I  thus  deli 
vered  into  the  snare  of  an  implacable  demon  !  Oh,  my  aunt, 
surely  you  were  not  capable  of  participating  in  this  diabolical 
scheme !  " 

"  Your  new  aunt  is  as  much  a  fool  in  her  way  as  your  uncle 
is  in  his.  She  was  not  trusted  with  my  secret.  It  is  in  the 
keeping  only  of  you  and  I,  and  the  preacher,  who  is  discreet 
and  may  be  depended  upon.  Consent,  Lucy,  without  more 
ado,  and  all  will  be  well.  No  mortal  ever  loved  with  such 
vehemence  as  I  do.  I  would  sacrifice  fortune,  honor,  life  it 
self,  rather  than  forego " 

"  Villain  ! "  cried  Lucy,  spurning  his  hand,  "  I  will  listen  no 
more  !  Leave  me,  or  suffer  me  to  depart !  I  would  rather 
be  in  my  grave,  than  dwell  in  your  presence  an  hour  !  " 

"  The  carriage  stops.  We  are  at  home,  Lucy,"  said  Ro 
land,  throwing  open  the  door.  They  were  in  front  of  his 
house. 

"  I  will  not  go  into  your  house — hateful,  dishonorable  man  ! 
Coachman  !  "  she  continued,  in  a  loud  voice,  u  I  command  you 
to  drive  me  home,  to  my  mother's  house  !  " 

"  Oh,  my  love,"  said  Roland,  with  a  smile  of  derision  half 
betrayed  by  the  rays  of  the  moon  resting  on  his  profile,  "  the 
coachman  has  had  his  orders.  He  knows  his  duty.  He  will 
obey  you  when  yonder  preacher,  awaiting  our  arrival,  has  ut 
tered  a  few  words  over  our  joined  hands." 

"  Never  !  "  cried  Lucy. 

"  Be  reasonable,  my  charming  bride.  Every  ear  will  be 
deaf  to  your  cries.  It  will  be  but  breath  expended  in  vain. 
Let  me  assist  you.  I  will  carry  you  in  my  arms,  so  that  your 
feet  shall  not  touch  the  dew." 

"  Mercy  !  Help  !  "  cried  the  poor  girl,  and  fainted  in  the 
arms  of  the  villain,  who  forced  her  from  the  carriage.  But 
at  that  moment  he  felt  the  sharp  teeth  of  Dew  grasping  his 
leg. 

"  Begone  !  "  he  said,  endeavoring  to  shake  the  animal  off. 
"  The  internal  dog  is  tearing  my  flesh !  "  he  continued,  placing 
the  inanimate  burden  on  the  grass,  and  turning  ferociously 
upon  his  tormentor.  Dew  relinquished  his  hold,  and  barked 
fiercely,  but  avoided  the  hands  extended  to  grasp  him,  by  re- 

6 


122  THE  WINKLES. 

treating  into  a  thicket  of  briers  near  the  road  side.  Roland 
hurled  a  stone  at  him,  without  effect,  and  turned  towards 
Lucy,  who  was  recovering.  She  leaned  on  her  elbow,  and 
gazed  round  in  bewilderment. 

"Drive  off!"  cried  Roland,  to  the  coachman,  who  obeyed 
with  alacrity. 

"  Off!  off!  Do  not  approach  me  ! "  cried  Lucy,  seeing  the 
monster  approach,  followed  by  the  faithful  Dew,  who  again 
seized  him. 

With  a  fearful  malediction,  Roland  once  more  turned  upon 
his  pertinacious  foe,  and  with  a  determination  to  take  his  life. 
He  was  smarting  under  the  infliction  of  his  teeth,  and  furious 
at  the  thought  of  being  balked  by  so  unlooked-for  and  ap 
parently  so  insignificant  an  impediment.  Therefore  he  rushed 
upon  the  animal  with  desperate  energy,  regardless  of  the 
briery  covert  in  which  he  took  shelter.  Dew  uttered  several 
cries  as  he  was  torn  by  the  thorns,  but  still  eluded  his  enemy. 
Roland,  intent  upon  the  destruction  of  the  animal,  continued 
the  assault,  unmindful  for  the  moment  of  his  reviving  cap 
tive. 

Lucy  did  not  suffer  the  precious  moments  to  pass  unim 
proved.  She  started  up  and  ran  into  a  neighboring  grove, 
which  concealed  her  white  dress.  Under  shelter  of  the  de 
scending  boughs  of  a  spreading  cedar-tree,  she  paused  for 
breath,  and  with  her  trembling  hands  sought  to  still  the  throb- 
bings  of  her  panting  breast.  Unseen  herself,  she  could  yet 
behold  Roland  striving  to  kill  her  faithful  dog  with  a  stake 
he  had  snatched  from  the  fence  in  front  of  the  lawn.  Dew 
nevertheless  effected  his  escape,  and  returned  to  the  spot 
where  his  mistress  had  been  lying.  Roland,  upon  seeing  the 
bird  had  flown,  uttered  the  most  furious  oaths  and  threats. 
But  in  his'  impatience  to  extricate  himself  from  the  briery 
thicket,  he  was  tripped  up  by  a  vine  that  grew  among  the 
bushes,  and  fell  headlong  to  the  ground. 

Dew  joined  his  niistre.?s.  and  they  plunged  deeper  into  the 
woods.  Lucy  knew  not  whither  they  were  going,  but  was 
happy  in  the  thought  of  escaping  an  enemy  whose  presence 
was  a  greater  calamity  than  any  other  that  could  possibly  be 
fall  her. 

Erelong  the  flying  girl  discovered  a  narrow  path,  partially 
illuminated  by  the  rays  of  the  moon  straggling  through  the 
branches  of  the  trees.  She  redoubled  her  speed,  for  she  could 


ANXIOUS   MOMENT.  123 

hear  Roland  calling  aloud  to  his  confederate  (the  pretended 
preacher),  to  assist  him  in  the  search  for  the  fugitive.  Soon 
the  voice  ceased  to  be  heard,  and  Lucy's  spirits  began  to  re 
vive.  Dew  ran  along  before  her,  evincing  by  his  large  intel 
ligent  eyes,  and  the  shaking  of  his  tail,  his  congratulations 
and  happiness  upon  the  escape  of  his  mistress  from  the  imme 
diate  clutches  of  her  cruel  persecutor.  But  he  had  sufficient 
sagacity  to  confine  his  manifestations  of  joy  to  the  mute  exhi 
bitions  described.  The  slightest  bark  might  have  destroyed 
her. 

After  traversing  the  path  several  hundred  yards,  Lucy 
was  induced  to  pause  upon  coming  in  view  of  a  fence  which 
bounded  the  woods.  Beyond  were  fields  and  meadows,  and 
here  and  there  could  be  distinguished  a  farm  house,  its  inmates 
seemingly  steeped  in  profound  repose,  while  she,  who  gazed 
upon  the  silent  scene,  might  conjecture  in  vain  why  she  should 
be  doomed  to  be  a  midnight  wanderer  in  unfrequented  paths, 
and  wholly  unconscious  of  the  direction  she  should  pursue  to 
avoid  the  impending  danger.  Wearied,  and  wounded  by  the 
bushes  which  had  often  opposed  her  progress,  she  sat  down  on 
the  trunk  of  a  fallen  tree,  and  wept  in  silence.  As  she  turned 
her  pale  face  in  every  direction,  and  saw  no  animate  object 
but  her  spaniel  which  crouched  at  her  feet,  and  heard  no 
sounds  but  those  of  the  whippoorwill  and  the  katydid,  it  more 
than  once  occurred  to  her  that  she  might  be  in  a  dream.  She 
rubbed  her  eyes  with  her  lily  hands,  and  looked  up  at  the 
stars — '•  No  !  no  ! "  said  she,  in  low  silvery  tones,  "  it  is  not  a 
dream.  Would  it  were  !  "  She  covered  her  face,  and  falling 
down  on  her  knees,  uttered  an  humble  petition  to  heaven 
that  she  might  be  speedily  rescued  from  her  unpleasant  con 
dition. 

A  sound  in  the  path  she  had  traversed  attracted  her.  and 
the  next  moment  a  rabbit  bounded  out  and  sped  past.  Dew 
rose  up,  but  did  not  pursue  it.  He  snuffed  the  air  in  the 
direction  whence  it  came,  and  uttered  a  low  growl,  while  the 
hair  rose  on  his  back.  Lucy  thought  she  heard  a  movement 
among  the  bushes  ;  but  was  not  certain.  Her  heart  palpitated 
audibly,  and  painfully.  Then  she  felt  certain  she  could  detect 
the  low  sounds  of  whispers  in  the  dark  path  behind.  She 
arose — but  knew  not  where  to  fly.  In  the  fields  were  no  hid 
ing  places ;  in  the  woods  she  would  encounter  her  persecutor. 
Again  !  It  was  the  low  murmur  of  a  human  voice  !  She  could 


124  THE    WINKLES. 

not  be  mistaken ;  and  Dew_growled  more  fiercely  than  ever, 
and  was  in  the  act  of  springing  towards  the  foe. 

At  that  moment  approaching  wheels  were  heard,  and  Lucy 
perceived  that  a  road  ran  along  the  outer  side  of  the  fence. 
Hope  lent  her  strength,  and  she  bounded  over  the  high  fence 
as  the  gig  of  good  old  John  Dowly  drove  up.  The  gentle 
horse  paused  of  his  own  accord,  snorted  aloud,  and  thrust  for 
ward  his  ears,  but  did  not  attempt  to  run  away. 

"  Who  are  you  ?  "  asked  John  Dowly,  staring  at  Lucy  as 
if  beholding  an  apparition. 

"  Save  me  !  Save  me  !     Oh,  Mr.  Dowly  I  "  cried  she. 

"  I  will !  Poor  thing  !  Who  is  it  ?  "  responded  he,  as  he 
assisted  her  into  the  gig.  She  fainted  upon  his  breast,  after 
feebly  saying,  "  Take  me  home." 

The  dog  barked  fiercely,  and  words  of  disappointment  and 
rage  could  be  heard  in  the  woods. 

"  Merciful  powers  !  "  exclaimed  the  old  man,  upon  driving 
into  the  unobstructed  moonlightrand  recognizing  the  face  of 
Lucy,  who  began  to  recover.  "  My  poor,  lovely  child  !  how 
does  it  happen  that  I  find  you  thus,  and  alone  ?  But  do  not 
attempt  to  speak,  before  you  have  regained  your  strength.  I 
will  take  you  home.  The  next  road  we  cross  leads  to  town. 
You  are  safe,  now.  Don't  be  distressed.  Old  John  Dowly 
would  lose  his  head  before  a  hair  of  yours  should  be  in 
jured." 

"  Bless  you,  sir  !  " — said  Lucy.  "  May  heaven  bless  you  ! 
You  have  saved  me.  Another  moment,  and  I  should  have 
been  in  his  power  !  " 

"  In  whose  power,  my  child  ?  But  I  need  not  ask,  since 
I  know  too  well  the  diabolical  proprietor  of  these  lands." 
Saying  this,  the  old  gentleman  whipped  his  horse  into  a  brisk 
trot,  and  turning  down  the  next  road,  seemed  to  be  intent  on 
reaching  the  village  as  quickly  as  possible. 

But  before  they  reached  the  village,  Lucy  had  summoned 
sufficient  strength  and  resolution  to  relate  every  thing  that  had 
transpired.  The  old  gentleman  sympathized  with  her,  wept 
with  her,  but  counselled  her  to  tell  no  one  else  but  her  mother, 
who  would  doubtless  be  governed  by  prudential  considerations. 
Roland  was  an  artful  and  dangerous  character ;  and  it  would 
be  better  to  avoid  him  than  to  contend  against  him.  He  was 
surrounded  by  creatures  of  desperate  character,  whose  greatest 
delight  was  in  the  consummation  of  evil  deeds. 


SAFE   ARRIVAL   AT    HOHE.  125 

Lucy  listened  with  attention  ;  and  shivered  with  terror  at 
the  thought  of  involving  Walter,  or  any  one  dear  to  her,  in  a 
quarrel  with  the  bold  bad  man. 

Mr.  Dowly,  when  they  arrived  in  front  of  the  widow's 
mansion,  leapt  down  from  the  gig  almost  with  the  elasticity 
of  youth,  and  conducted  his  fair  charge  to  the  door.  Mrs. 
Winkle  had  been  long  expecting  the  return  of  Lucy,  and  on 
hearing  the  wheels,  hastened  to  the  door  herself,  for  Biddy  had 
been  sent  to  bed  at  the  usual  hour. 

"  How  pale  you  are,  Lucy  !  "  said  she,  when  the  lamp  re 
vealed  the  features  of  her  child.  "  What  has  happened  ? 
Who  came  with  you  ?  " 

"  I,  madam,"  said  the  old  gentleman,  whose  person  was 
disclosed  when  the  door  turned  wider. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Dowly  !  The  one,  of  all  others,  I  would  have 
chosen  to  conduct  her  home.  I  am  very  thankful,  sir,  for 
your  kind  attention.  I  am  fearful  though  it  has  put  you  to 
inconvenience.  It  is  very  late.  But  you  need  not  return — 
Walter  is  away.  Pray  come  in  and  occupy  his  chamber." 

"  No — no — I  thank  you,  my  dear  madam.  I  will  drive  to 
the  inn.  But  with  your  permission  I  will  call  in  the  morning 
and  take  breakfast  with  you.  Good  night.  Good  night," 
continued  the  old  man,  retiring. 

When  the  door  was  made  fast,  Lucy  fell  into  her  mother's 
arms  and  wept  bitterly,  and  yet  with  feelings  of  thankfulness 
that  she  was  once  more  in  safety  under  the  roof  of  her  pa 
rent. 

The  tale  was  soon  told,  and  was  listened  to  without  the 
widow's  usual  merriment.  She  embraced  her  child  repeated 
ly,  long  incapable  of  utterance,  and  caressed  the  faithful 
spaniel,  who  evinced  unbounded  joy. 

"  Mr.  Dowly  is  right,  Lucy,"  at  length  said  the  widow, 
with  seriousness.  "  He  has  ever  shown  a  sincere  interest  in  the 
welfare  of  my  family.  He  is  experienced  in  the  affairs  of  the 
world,  and  can  foresee  evils  which  those  of  a  less  deliberate 
circumspection  might  only  feel  If  Walter  knew  what  has 
occurred,  who  could  restrain  him  ?  And  there  are  others 
beside  who  might  seek  to  punish  the  villain,  and  might  fall  in 
the  attempt.  All  we  can  do  with  safety  is  to  avoid  any  spe 
cies  of  contact  with  him  in  future." 

"  But,  dear  mother,"  said  Lucy,  u  we  are,  as  he  said,  very 
poor;  and  he  holds  the  mortgage  on  our  house." 


126  THE   WINKLES. 

"  True.  I  will  write  to  my  brother  to  pay  it.  Yet  I  dis 
like  making  such  an  application.  I  am  fearful  we  have  not 
understood  G-usset's  true  character.  I  will  mention  the  busi 
ness  when  Napoleon  visits  us  the  next  time.  If  Roland 
should  call  for  the  interest,  I  will  pay  him  with  the  money  the 
Dibbles  have  deposited  in  bank.  You  must  not  be  seen  by 
him — I  shall  not  fear  to  meet  him.  He  is  rich  and  influential, 
and  might  have  been  respected  as  a  rejected  suitor ;  but  to 
say  that  one  of  his  age  is  capable  of  conceiving  so  violent  a 
passion  as  to  be  driven  involuntarily  into  such  an  excess  of 
outrage — no — no  !  I  can  have  no  patience  with  him  !  He 
must  be  a  villain.  But  it  may  not  be  prudent  to  tell  him  so. 
He  might  declare,  and  even  .prove,  by  some  of  his  profligate 
creatures,  that  you  accompanied  him  to  his  house  volun 
tarily  !  " 

After  Lucy  had  retired  to  her  chamber,  she  was  impelled 
by  some  mysterious  impulse  to  cast  her  eyes  in  the  direction 
of  Lowe's  cottage  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  street.  The 
young  man's  chamber  was  still  lighted,  and  his  shadow  on  the 
wall  could  be  discerned.  He  moved  backwards  and  forwards 
with  folded  arms  and  drooping  head.  Why  did  he  keep  such 
late  vigils  ?  was  the  query  the  distressed  girl  propounded  "to 
herself. 

Lowe  continued  his  solitary  promenade  until  startled  at  a 
late  hour  by  the  report  of  musketry,  which  came  booming  on 
the  still  air  from  the  country  mansion  of  Mr.  Winkle.  He 
had  likewise  observed  the  pause  of  the  carriage  which  con 
veyed  Lucy  from  the  mansion,  and  beheld  Roland  get  into  it. 
He  had  no  doubt  it  was  Roland.  But  whether  or  not  the 
proceeding  had  the  connivance  and  sanction  of  Lucy,  he  was 
^unable  to  determine.  If  so,  then  he  had  been  grievously  de- 
'ceived  in  her  character,  and  he  felt  that  his  fate  would  be  an 
unhappy  one.  But  had  he  ever  seen  any  thing  in  her  conduct, 
or  heard  any  thing  in  relation  to  her  character,  which  might 
warrant  a  supposition  that  she  entertained  a  partiality  for  that 
bad  man  ?  No.  All  had  been  just  the  reverse.  And  yet 
there  could  be  no  doubt  of  what  he  had  seen.  There  could 
be  no  denying  the  fact  which  he  had  beheld  that  night  with 
his  own  eyes.  Such  were  his  thoughts.  "  Oh ! "  cried  he, 
clasping  his  forehead,  "  if  she  be  not  pure,  where,  where  is 
purity  to  be  found  on  earth  !  But  may  not  she  still  be  so  ? 
Might  not  he  have  entered  the  carriage  without  her  consent. 


PREPARATIONS    FOR    A.    DUEL.  127 

and  in  spite  of  her  objections  and  opposition  ?  Ay,  but  then 
to  accompany  him — or  suffer  herself  to  be  driven  elsewhere 
than  to  her  parents'  mansion — and  at  that  late  hour  of  the 
night !  I  am  not  certain  I  heard  her  screams.  And  would 
she  not  have  uttered  them  loudly  if  he  had  forced  her  to  ac 
company  him  in  another  direction  ?  True,  she  is  not  one  of 
those  falsely  delicate,  mincingly-sensitive  creatures,  who  cry 
out  at  the  buzzing  of  a  fly,  and  she  might  not  have  immediate 
ly  known  they  diverged  from  the  proper  direction.  But 
would  he,  bold  and  wicked  as  he  is,  have  resorted  to  such  a 
measure  in  the  vicinity  of  so  many  returning  guests  ?  Oh, 
Lucy  !  if  you  have  been  too  weak  to  resist  his  blandishments, 
farewell — farewell  for  ever  !  We  must  never  meet  again.  But 
I  will  know,  yes,  know — not  merely  suspect — your  complicity 
in  this  act,  before  I  regard  you  as  fallen.  But  how  shall  I 
know  it?  From  whom  obtain  the  information?  Ay,  himself! 
Yes,  Roland — whatever  your  lips  may  utter,  your  face,  your 
conduct  under  my  gaze,  shall  reveal  enough  for  my  com 
prehension.  And  if  you  alone  are  guilty,  beware  of  her 
avenger ! " 

The  young  man  turned  aside  and  threw  himself  on  his 
couch.  A  train  of  cars  at  that  moment  paused  before  the 
inn,  and  once  the  lover  conceived  the  idea  of  rushing  into 
them  and  abandoning  the  place  for  ever.  He  was  withheld 
by  the  hope  that,  after  all,  Lucy's  conduct  might  not  prove 
to  be  culpable.  Should  that  hope  be  fallacious,  the  next  night 
he  would  take  his  final  departure. 

He  arose  the  next  morning  unrefreshed,  after  a  sleepless 
night.  While  tasting  the  coffee  which  had  been  brought  in 
by  Mrs.  Edwards,  his  attention  was  attracted  by  one  of  Ro 
land's  servants  who  galloped  up  to  the  door  of  Mrs.  Winkle's 
house.  He  saw  him  deliver  a  letter,  which  he  did  not  doubt 
related  to  the  occurrence  of  the  preceding  night.  Soon  after, 
he  ascertained  from  his  cook,  who  had  been  in  his  neighbor's 
kitchen,  that  Lucy  had  arrived  at  home  late  in  the  night,  and 
was  now  quite  ill. 

Supposing  Roland  would  be  in  the  village  as  usual  that 
morning,  and  would  come  by  the  road  he  was  accustomed  to 
traverse,  Lowe  determined  to  meet  him.  Placing  a  brace  of 
pistols  in  a  small  green  bag,  he  descended  to  the  street  and 
walked  briskly  away  from  the  village.  He  had  not  gone  more 
than  a  mile  before  he  saw  the  one  he  was  in  quest  of. 


128  THE   WINKLES. 

Roland  approached  alone,  leisurely  riding  his  blooded 
Bleed.  Lowe  paused  beside  a  large  willow  tree  that  overhung 
the  brook  on  the  road  side,  and  putting  down  the  bag,  folded 
his  arms  calmly  on  his  breast,  and  awaited  the  arrival  of  the 
author  of  his  unhappiness. 

As  Roland  drew  near  a  supercilious  frown  gathered  on  his 
brow,  and  his  ruddy  complexion  assumed  a  deeper  color.  He 
did  not  design  to  utter  any  salutation,  and  was  riding  past 
after  an  equivocal  nod,  when  Lowe  advanced  a  step,  and  sig 
nified  his  desire  to  confer  with  him. 

"  Do  you  wish  me  to  stop  ? "  asked  Roland,  slightly  draw 
ing  the  rein. 

u  I  do,  sir,"  was  the  reply. 

«  Well— what  do  you  want  ?  " 

"  I  desire  to  know  if  you  did  not  enter  Miss  "Winkle's  car 
riage  last  night,  when  she  was  returning  home." 

"  The  deuce  you  do !  No,  sir — I  entered  my  own  car 
riage." 

"  True,  it  was  your  carriage-     But  that  is  a  subterfuge." 

li  A  subterfuge  !  Sir,  do  you  know  who  you  are  speaking 
to  ?"  demanded  Roland,  in  choler. 

"  Perhaps  not  distinctly.  But  I  am  desirous  of  knowing. 
Be  calm,  sir ;  at  least  until  I  obtain  the  information  I  seek. 
Then  your  fury  may  have  vent." 

"  What  information  do  you  seek  ?  By  what  right  do  you 
seek  any  of  me  ?  Have  you  heard  any  thing  in  relation  to  the 
matter  you  mentioned  just  now  ?  " 

"  No,  sir  ;  not  a  word.     But  I  saw  it." 

"  Saw  it  ?  Then  what  further  would  you  be  pleased  to 
know  ? " 

"  Precisely  in  what  capacity  you  entered  the  carriage. 
Whether  as  an  acceptable  companion,  or  in  opposition  to  the 
lady's  will.  You  will  much  oblige  me  by  answering  frankly 
and  truly." 

"  I  shall  do  no  such  thing,  sir." 

"  Then  I  shall  be  happy  to  suppose  it  was  not  in  accord 
ance  with  the  lady's  wishes." 

"  Suppose  what  you  please.  I  care  not.  But  as  the  lady 
herself  has  not,  as  I  infer,  made  the  matter  known,  and  as  you 
were  the  only  witness  of  what  transpired,  if  the  occurrence 
should  be  made  public,  I  shall  not  be  at  a  loss  to  know  who 


A      COWARD.  129 

divulged  the  secret.     I  desire  that  it  be  kept  a  secret,  for 
several  reasons,  and  I  warn  you  not  to  mention  it,  or >" 

"  What  ? ' 

"  You  will  incur  my  vengeance." 

"  I  will  not  refer  to  it — unless  it  be  to  the  lady  herself. 
But,  sir,  I  beseech  you  tell  me  whether  or  not  the  meeting 
was  in  pursuance  of  an  appointment." 

"  You  have  already  supposed  it  was  not — let  that  suffice. 
I  will  not  be  interrogated.  Who  are  you  ?  What  are  you 
doing  in  the  village  ?  By  what  right  do  you  aspire  to  be  the 
champion  of  Miss  Winkle  ?  " 

"  I  am  a  man,  sir — -a  free  man  in  a  free  country.  It  is  not 
necessary  to  dwell  upon  my  means  of  living,  so  long  as  I  owe 
no  one,  and  ask  no  alms  of  any  body.  In  regard  to  your  last 
question,  as  we  are  alone,  and  as  I  seek  information  from  you 
upon  which  my  happiness  or  misery  may  depend — know  that 
I  have  conceived  a  deep  and  pure  affection  for  that  young 
lady » 

"  Ha  !  ha  !     The  secret's  out !  " 

"  Sir !  you  cannot  be  a  lover,  and  laugh  at  such  an  an 
nouncement.  Therefore  she  must  be  innocent,  and  you  a  vil 
lain  !  " 

"  What !  Do  you  dare—"  cried  Roland,  raising  his 
whip. 

"  Dismount,  sir,  and  you  shall  have  satisfaction,"  said 
Lowe,  stepping  back. 

"  I  will  dismount  and  punish  you  !  "  said  Roland,  leaping 
from  his  horse,  and  supposing  the  threat  might  be  easily  exe 
cuted,  as  he  was  a  larger  and  stronger  man  than  Lowe. 

"  Throw  your  whip  away,  and  meet  me  as  a  gentleman 
should,"  said  Lowe,  stooping  down  and  drawing  forth  his  pis 
tols.  Taking  one  in  each  hand  he  presented  the  breeches. 

"  You  are  armed.  I  did  not  know  that,"  said  Roland,  pale, 
and  pausing. 

"  Take  your  choice,  sir." 

"  No,  sir.     I  am  not  to  be  waylaid  in  this  manner.  I  will 
have  you  arrested  as  a  highwayman." 
"  Are  you  a  coward,  too  ?  " 

"  Coward  !  because  I  will  not  exchange  shots  with  a  vaga 
bond?" 

"  Sir,  I  am  a  gentleman,  better  born,  and  better  bred  than 
yourself,"  continued  Lowe,  advancing.  "  Take  your  choice, 

6* 


130  THE   WINKLES. 

and  fire  as  soon  as  you  please.  I  will  give  you  that  advan 
tage.  I  am  no  duellist — but  desperate.  I  would  rather  die 
than  know  Lucy  to  be  false,  and " 

"  I  will  not,"  said  Roland,  trembling.  "  I  will  not  take 
either.  You  may  murder  me — but  yonder  is  a  witness.'5  He 
pointed  to  a  solitary  pedestrian  at  some  distance  who  was  ap 
proaching. 

"  I  am  no  murderer — but  you  are  a  craven  and  a  villain. 
Cease  your  designs  upon  that  young  lady,  or  dread  my  ven 
geance.  We  will  meet  again.  Go." 

But  before  the  last  words  were  uttered,  Roland  was  mounted 
and  spurring  towards  the  village.  When  he  was  dashing  across 
one  of  the  slight  bridges  which  span  the  sloughs  through  which 
the  water  from  the  river  flowed  at  high  tide,  he  was  thrown  by 
a  sudden  side-spring  of  his  horse,  and  fell  sprawling  in  the 
centre  of  the  hard  road. 

Bill  Dizzle,  aroused  by  the  clatter  of  hoofs  had  suddenly 
risen  up  among  the  spatter  docks,  with  a  huge  frog  transfixed 
and  kicking  in  expiring  agonies  on  his  spear.  His  presence 
in  the  slough  was  no  unusual  apparition  to  man  or  beast  ;  but 
as  he  had  not  yet  washed  the  black  stains  of  burnt  powder 
from  his  face,  the  horse  had  failed  to  recognize  him,  and  per 
haps  supposed  him  to  be  the  devil  himself  rising  to  the  surface 
of  the  earth.  Hence  his  affright. 

"  Blazes !  "  cried  Bill,  wading  out  of  the  scum-covered 
water.  "  Who  is  it?  There  he  lays  as  dead  as  a  frog  !  "  He 
approached  the  stunned  and  inanimate  form,  and  stood  over  it 
in  silent  amazement,  not  knowing  exactly  what  he  ought  to 
do,  but  strongly  impressed  with  the  desire  to  accomplish  some 
thing  or  other.  So,  happening  to  glance  towards  the  horse, 
which  now  stood  in  the  vicinity  snorting  and  trembling,  he 
ran  to  him,  and  taking  the  reins,  tied  him  to  the  fence  on  the 
road  side.  That  done,  he  scarcely  knew  what  to  do  next.  He 
returned  to  the  fallen  rider,  and  again  stood  over  him  in  silent 
contemplation,  until  startled  by  the  sound  of  approaching 
wheels.  Fortunately  it  was  the  carriage  of  Dr.  Prangle.  The 
doctor,  upon  seeing  that  some  one  lay  in  the  dust,  and  doubt 
less  required, his  services,  did  not  wait  for  a  special  summons, 
but  descended  immediately  and  opened  a  vein. 

"How  is  this?"  exclaimed  the  doctor,  after  seeing  that 
the  blood  began  to  flow.  "  How  did  it  happen  that  Mr.  Ro 
land,  the  best  horseman  in  the  county,  was  thrown?  " 


A    FALL.  131 

"  His  critter  shied  when  I  riz  up  in  the  water  lilies  "  said 
Bill  Dizzle. 

"  And  no  wonder  !  "  exclaimed  the  doctor,  gazing  at  Bill. 
"It  was  enough  to  frighten  the  d — 1  himself!  So — '"'he 
continued,  examining  his  patient,  "limbs  all  sound — no  frac 
ture — animation  returning — a  groan — good  sign — stunning 
concussion  though — few  bruises — that's  all — soon  recover— 
short  case." 

"  Dr.  Prangle,  what  is  the  matter  ?  "  asked  Roland,  recover 
ing  his  speech,  and  seeing  the  blood  flow  from  his  arm. 

"  You  have  been  thrown  from  your  horse,  and  may  be 
seriously  injured  internally.  You  must  be  kept  quiet — take 
anodynes,  and  lie  still,  in  bed.  Here,  you  frightful  frog- 
catcher,  help  me  to  lift  him  into  my  carriage.  I  will  take  you 
to  my  house " 

"  No,"  said  Roland—"  take  me  to  the  inn." 

"  Very  good.  But  you  cannot  lie  there  so  composedly  as 
at  my  house." 

He  was  conveyed  to  the  inn  without  delay,  while  Bill 
mounted  the  still  snorting  horse  and  followed  the  carriage. 

Roland,  upon  being  put  to  bed,  smiled  at  the  anxious  soli 
citude  of  the  doctor,  and  whispered  the  innkeeper— one  of  his 
tenants — that  he  was  not  much  injured,  and  would  be  able  to 
sit  up  as  soon  as  Prangle  left  him.  And  no  sooner  had  the 
doctor  taken  his  leave,  with  injunctions  for  his  patient  to  re 
main  in  a  state  of  perfect  composure,  and  promising  to  return 
within  an  hour,  than  Roland  sat  up  in  bed,  and  vented  a 
volley  of  curses  on  the  head  of  the  astonished  Dizzle.  Bill 
retreated  in  consternation  from  his  presence. 

"  Send  for  David  Deal,"  said  Roland,  when  Dizzle  had 
disappeared.  Deal  was  an  enterprising  Quaker,  and  considered 
favorable  to  the  election  of  Roland  to  Congress,  on  account 
of  sundry  moral  reform  which  the  Babbleton  candidate  was 
pledged  to  advocate. 

"  Friend  Ralph,  I  am  sorry  to  see  thee  confined  to  thy 
bed,"  said  David  Deal,  who  happened  to  be  near,  and  was 
ushered  into  the  presence  of  the  invalid. 

"  It  is  nothing,"  said  Roland.  "  Merely  stunned  by  a  fall 
from  my  horse.  If  it  were  not  for  fear  of  offending  the  doc 
tor,  and  losing  his  vote,  I  would  not  remain  here  an  hour. 
David,"  he  continued,  when  they  were  alone,  "  do  you  know 
the  character  and  pursuit  of  your  tenant  in street  ?  " 


132  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Thee  means  neighbor  Lowe  ?  " 

"  Yes.  What  is  his  trade,  or  profession,  or  pursuit,  by 
which  he  earns  a  subsistence  ?  " 

"  Thee  knows  quite  as  much  as  I  do,  or  as  any  body 
does." 

"  Does  he  pay  his  rent  ?  " 

"  He  pays  in  advance.  Thee  my  be  sure  he  pays  me,  or  I 
would  not  let  him  stay." 

"  The  deuce  !  " 

"  Friend  .Ralph,  I  do  no  wrong  in  securing  what  is  justly 
due  to  me.  And  I  hope  you  will  not  urge  the  payment  of 
the  note  of  mine  thee  holds,  if  I  pay  thee  the  interest  punc 
tually." 

"  But  does  not  this  fellow  owe  some  one  in  the  village  ?  " 

"  I  think  not.  I  have  taken  the  liberty,  as  I  thought  it 
not  improper,  to  inquire  a  little  into  his  transactions.  The 
shopkeeper,  the  butcher,  the  baker,  and  even  the  milkman,  all 
say  he  pays  them  down,  and  seems  to  have  cash  enough  to 
answer  his  purposes.  Thee  knows  he  don't  live  extravagantly, 
and  his  expenses  cannot  be  very  great.  But  friend  Ralph, 
what  does  thee  say  concerning  my  note  ?" 

"  Confound  your  note — I  don't  want  money  !  " 

"  I  am  much  obliged  to  thee — for  it  is  very  difficult  to  ob 
tain  funds  at  a  reasonable  interest ;  and  it  is  generous  and 
liberal  in  thee  to  indulge  thy  friend  in  such  times  as  these.  I 
am  sorry  I  cannot  give  thee  any  information  concerning  friend 
Edmund.  All  I  know  is  that  he  has  many  books,  and  is  seen 
to  do  nothing  but  read  and  write,  and  sometimes  indulge  in 
the  abominable  amusement  of  whist,  and  in  the  idle  sport  of 
fishing  and  gunning.  He  is  also  very  intimate  with  Edithx 
and  seems  to  have  an  attachment  for  her  daughter  Lucy " 

"  The  impudent  puppy  !  "  said  Roland. 

"  If  thee  thinks  so,  the  women  don't.  Edith  owes  thee  a 
large  sum  of  money,  and  it  is  said  she  is  very  poor.  I  am 
sorry  to  hear  it — for  she  has  always  been  a  good  neighbor.  I 
hope  she  may  be  able  to  pay  thee  thy  interest " 

"  The  mortgage  shall  be  foreclosed,  and  the  property 
sold." 

"  If  it  must  be  so,  will  thee  be  a  bidder  for  the  lot  ?  " 

"  No.     I  have  enough  real  estate." 

"  Then  if  thee  would  be  satisfied  with  my  bond,  I  would 
like  to  be  the  purchaser,  for  a  dozen  good  houses  might  be 


THE   COLLEGE   BRED   SON.  133 

erected  on  the  front  part  of  the  ground  and  rented  for  three 
hundred  dollars  each.  If  it  must  be  sold,  and  no  one  will 
bid  more  than  myself,  I  could  not  be  justly  blamed  for  be 
coming  the  owner,  although  I  should  be  sorry  for  Edith.  I 
see  such  things  are  unpleasant  to  thee,  and  will  change  the 
subject.  Thy  friends  will  have  a  large  meeting  next  week, 
and  are  determined  to  make  a  strong  rally  in  thy  favor.  I 
hope  thee  will  be  able  to  address  them." 

« I  will  be  able." 

"  Thee  will  be  supported  by  the  reformers.  It  is  high  time 
the  evil  practices  of  the  people  were  amended.  But,  as  the 
meeting  is  open  for  all,  they  say  thy  enemies  will  have  their 
speakers  also." 

"  Who  will  they  have  to  reply  to  me  ?  " 

"  Walter  Winkle— the  college  bred  son  of  Edith." 

"He!" 

u  They  say  so.  But  thee  knows  he  is  a  wild  rattling  youth, 
without  experience." 

"  He  is  over  twenty-one  years  of  age.  Of  course  he  will 
vote  for  Plastic,  my  competitor.  Well,  I'll  see  if  he  cannot 
be  humbled.  Who  proposed  this  matter  of  getting  up  a 
speaker  to  answer  me  ?  " 

"  I  learn  it  was  Colonel  Oakdale,  who  thee  knows  is  a  can 
didate  for  the  State  Senate,  and  is,  they  say,  to  be  a  candidate 
for  a  seat  in  the  Senate  of  the  United  Sates." 

"The  mischief!" 

"  That  is  milder  than " 

"  The  d— 1 !  » 

"  Yea,  verily.  I  bid  you  good  day,  friend  Ralph,  and  I 
hope  thee  will  soon  be  well." 

David  Deal,  not  without  some  misgivings  of  the  morality 
of  the  candidate  of  the  reformers,  withdrew  about  his  busi 
ness,  which  was,  it  must  not  be  denied,  the  art  and  mystery  of 
money-making. 


134  THE   WINKLES. 


CHAPTEK    XIII. 

LUCY    DETEEMINES    TO   FLY— AND   WILL   NOT   TELL   HEE   LOVER 
WHITHEK. 

LUCY,  who  had  complained  of  being  unwell  at  the  usual  hour 
for  breakfast,  upon  learning  that  a  letter  had  been  received 
from  Roland,  arose  and  descended  to  the  sitting-room,  where 
her  mother  was  perusing  the  long  and  passionate  communi 
cation. 

"  Lucy,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  as  her  daughter  sat  down  at 
her  side,  "  Roland  writes  like  a  lover.  He  declares  upon  his 
honor -" 

"  Which  amounts  to  nothing,  for  he  has  none,"  interrupt 
ed  Lucy. 

"  That  may  be.  But  he  says  his  love  grew  so  uncontrol 
lable  that  he  was  not  aware  of  the  gross  impropriety  of  his 
conduct,  until  after  your  escape,  when  his  own  condemnation 
of  himself,  was  as  bitter  as  any  reproaches  it  would  be  possi 
ble  for  any  one  else  to  utter.  He  says  he  is  penitent,  and 
will  cheerfully  undergo  any  suffering  and  pay  any  penalty  we 
may  impose.  He  implores  our  forgiveness,  and  entreats  that 
the  occurrence  may  never  be  referred  to  again." 

"  I  will  not  mention  it." 

"  I  think  it  should  not  be  known.  The  Arums  and  Cru- 
dles  would  hint  that  you  had  not  been  abducted  against  vour 
will." 

"  That  would  be  terrible,"  replied  Lucy,  smiling.  "  I 
learned  from  Walter  last  night  that  they  abducted  his  two 
friends,  almost  forcibly.  I  hope  that  is  Walter  ringing." 

"Who  is  it,  Biddy?"  asked  Mrs.  Winkle,  when  the  girl 
appeared. 

"  Dill  Bizzle,  mam." 

"  Biddy,"  said  Lucy,  "  I  wish  you  would  learn  to  call  his 
name  correctly.  It  is  Bill  Dizzle." 

"  Yes,  miss." 

"  Let  him  come  in,  if  he  desires  it,"  said  the  widow ;  and 
a  moment  after  Bill  made  his  appearance,  his  face  still  un 
washed. 

"  Mercy  on  us  !  "  exclaimed  Lucy. 


LUCY    DETERMINES    TO    FLY.  135 

"  Don't  be  frightened,  like  the  horse,"  said  the  frog- 
catcher.  "  It's  only  the  powder.  Didn't  you  hear  us  last 
night?  She's  in  a  mighty  stew  about  it,  and  she's  vanished 
all  the  soldiers  from  the  house- a'ready." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  "  asked  the  widow.  Bill  explained. 
But  he  had  the  tact  to  suppress  the  part  Walter  enacted. 

"  I  fear  your  uncle,"  said  the  widow,  turning  to  her  daugh 
ter,  "  has  got  a  mistress  at  last.  Who  would  have  thought  the 
humble  Gusset  capable  of  seizing  the  reins  so  boldly,  and 
holding  them  so  firmly  ?  If  we  desire  a  continuance  of  my 
brother's  favors,  I  fear  we  will  have  to  pay  court  to  his  wife." 

"  I  fear  the  worst,"  said  Lucy. 

"But  what  have  you  to  tell  us,  Bill?"  demanded  the 
widow. 

"  Only  that  Mr.  Roland  has  been  thrown  by  his  horse, 
and " 

"  Killed?  "  asked  Lucy,  quickly. 

Bill  related  the  whole  affair  and  then  departed. 

"  Did  you  desire  to  hear  of  his  death  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Winkle, 
laughing  heartily. 

"  No,  mother.  But  it  would  afford  me  a  feeling  of  secu 
rity  to  learn  that  he  was  disabled  from  perpetrating  any  species 
of  mischief.  If  he  recovers  soon,  I  hope  you  will  permit  me 
to  spend  a  portion  of  my  time  with  my  aunt." 

"  You  know,  child,  that  your  aunt  would  not  have  you, 
after  disobeying  her  injunction,  and  attending  the  wadding." 

"  I  do  not  mean  Aunt  Wilsome ;  but  Aunt  Flora,  in  New 
York." 

"  My  sister  Flora !  Why  she  lives  alone.  She  keeps  but 
one  servant — and  I  am  told  her  front  door  is  not  opened  once 
a  month.  She  would  never  visit  me,  nor  invite  any  of  the 
family  to  her  house,  for  fear  of  the  expense.  She  is  in  per 
petual  dread  of  going  to  the  poor-house  !  And  I  don't  know 
why,  for  she  had  not  less  than  thirty  or  forty  thousand  dollars 
from  my  father's  estate.  I  think  such  a  project  impractica 
ble." 

"  You  know,  mother,  the  last  time  we  called  on  her,  when 
passing  through  the  city,  she  seemed  to  take  a  fancy  to  me." 

"  Yes,  she  said  she  would  like  to  enjoy  your  company,  if 
it  would  not  render  you  miserable  to  be  cooped  up  in  her  poor 
establishment." 

"  And  that  is  just  what  I  desire — the  utter  seclusion,  I 


136  THE   WINKLES. 

mean.  I  will  read  novels  for  her  from  morning  till  night,  and 
will  "be  the  more  contented  from  a  knowledge  that  visitors 
cannot  intrude  upon  my  privacy.  Indeed,  mother,  I  am 
wretched  in  the  vicinity  of  that  bad  man." 

"  Bad,  I  fear  he  is.  Among  all  his  explanations  and 
promises,  I  do  not  remember  a  word  about  honorable  mar 
riage." 

"  True,  mother — but  even  the  thought  of  that  would  be 
misery  to  me.  He  mentioned  it  to  me.  And  I  am  sure  I 
heard  his  pretended  clergyman  utter  some  foul  oaths.  Pray 
do  permit  me  to  write  to  Aunt  Flora ! " 

"  Oh,  you  may  write  ;  and  you  may  go  to  her,  if  she  de 
sires  it,  and  will  make  you  comfortable." 

Lucy  lost  not  a  moment  in  commencing  a  long  letter  to 
her  aunt.  Fortunately  she  had  acquired  an  insight  into  her 
character,  during  the  brief  visit  referred  to.  Her  aunt's  sole 
pleasure  in  life  was  novel-reading,  and  the  work  she  most  ad 
mired,  and  which  indeed  proved  she  was  not  deficient  in  criti 
cal  acumen,  was  "  The  Children  of  the  Abbey."  Hence  it 
was  not  difficult  for  Lucy  to  excite  her  relative's  interest  by 
depicting  her  own  wrongs  and  woes  in  the  light  of  those  of 
poor  Amanda.  And  Roland's  character  and  his  persecutions 
were  not  dissimilar  to  Colonel  Belgrade's.  Lowe  was  another 
Mortimer.  Without  the  necessity  of  revealing  any  real 
names,  Lucy  had  ample  materials  to  affect  the  sensibilities  of 
her  aunt ;  and  she  was  not  incompetent  to  the  task  of  group 
ing  her  characters  in  the  most  imposing  attitude. 

Having  finished  her  letter  and  sent  it  to  the  post-office, 
Lucy  felt  relieved  of  the  burden  of  painful  apprehension 
which  had  oppressed  her.  Her  spirits  were  recovered,  her 
headache  gone,  and  she  sallied  forth  in  the  garden,  singing 
one  of  the  pathetic  songs  she  loved.  Old  Dibble  and  his  son 
Davy  plucked  for  her  the  most  beautiful  and  fragrant  roses, 
and  took  delight  in  exhibiting  their  growing  crops,  the  nests 
of  the  orioles,  etc. 

After  lingering  some  minutes  with  the  Dibbles,  who  wero 
always  cheered  by  her  smiles,  as  their  vegetables  were  by  the 
rays  of  the  sun,  Lucy  strolled  to  the  extreme  boundary  of  the 
ground,  where  a  row  of  willows  overhung  the  cool  bright  wa 
ters  of  the  running  brook.  There  she  sat  on  a  rustic  seat  in 
the  shade,  where  she  had  passed  so  many  happy  hours  of  her 
childhood,  and  where  she  had  often  consumed  the  fleeting  mo- 


YOU    FRIGHTENED    ME.  137 

ments  with  Lowe,  from  whom  she  felt  she  was  now  about  to  be 
separated,  perhaps  for  ever. 

She  continued  her  low  song,  uttering  in  the  pauses  many 
a  deep  sigh,  while  the  heaving  of  her  bosom  attested  the  sin 
cerity  and  depth  of  the  feelings  she  expressed.  It  was  dur 
ing  one  of  those  pauses,  when  endeavoring  to  recollect  some 
of  the  words  which  had  escaped  her  memory,  that  she  was 
startled  by  the  disturbed  flight  of  several  birds  whose  wings 
fanned  her  cheeks,  so  close  had  been  their  confiding  prox 
imity.  Upon  turning,  the  object  of  her  thoughts  stood  before 
her,  pale,  sad  and  desponding. 

"  Mr.  Lowe  !     You  frightened  me,  as  well  as  the  birds." 

"  The  birds  have  taken  wing  and  flown  away.  I  trust  you 
will  not  be  so  cruel  as  to  follow  their  example.  And  yet  I 
never  deceived  or  injured  them." 

"  Then  why  should  they  fly?" 

"  They  know  the  power  of  man — the  most  insidious,  wick 
ed,  fearful  animal  that  was  ever  created." 

"  You  speak  that  almost  savagely." 

"  Sometimes  I  have  the  feelings  of  a  savage  !  " 

"  Mercy  !  you  frighten  me  !  But  I,  too,  expect  to  fly.  In 
a  few  days  it  is  probable  these  old  familiar  haunts  will  be  de 
serted  by  their  mistress.  9  I  came  hither  even  now  to  take  my 
leave  of  them." 

"Is  it  so  ?     And  you  go  voluntarily  ?  " 

"  Eagerly !     It  will  be  at  my  own  earnest  solicitation." 

"  Lucy,  there  is  a  seriousness  in  your  manner.  Will  you- 
not  be  candid  with  the  unhappy  being  who  adores  you,  and  say 
ivhy  you  desire  to  go?  " 

"  Spare  me — I  would  not  breathe  the  reason.  My  mother 
only  knows  it." 

"  But  you  will  be  accompanied  by  some  one  ?  And  you 
will  not  travel  far  ?  " 

"  By  Walter.  It  will  not  be  known  where  I  shall  be  so 
journing." 

"  Mystery  !  I  would  it  were  not  so.  But  Walter  accom 
panies  you?  " 

"Certainly." 

"  And  it  will  be  desirable  to  have  your  friends  ignorant  of 
the  place  of  your  abode?  I  am  sorry  for  it." 

"  There  may  be  reasons  why  they  should  not  know  it. 
Oh,  Mr.  Lowe,  do  not  question  me  further.  Do  not  seek  to 


138  THE   WINKLES. 

know  why  I  would  withdraw  from  my  friends  for  a  season. 
I  go  to  avoid  a  great  misery  which  threatens  me  here.  Let 
that  suffice." 

"  Lucy,  we  are  now  similarly  situated.  I  have  my  mys 
tery,  and  you  have  yours." 

"  And  if  yours  were  removed — how  often  have  I  said — but 
no — not  now  !  yet  mine  might  vanish,  if  yours  were  dispelled. 
Mr.  Lowe,  I  have  already  avowed  too  much.  I  should  have 
kept  locked  in  my  own  breast  the — the  partiality  I  felt.  But 
I  have  retained  sufficient  resolution  never  to  take  the  irrevo 
cable  step  you  proposed,  without  my  mother's  hearty  concur 
rence.  And  yet  it  would  seem  that  my  secret  should  not  be 
withheld  from  you.  I  have  the  impulse  to  disclose  it,  and 
would  do  so  were  it  not  for  the  fear  it  might  imperil  your 
safety.  No  such  motion  can  withhold  you  from  disclosing 

yours.  Between  friends — between  those  who there  should 

be  no  secrets  unrevealed,  mysteries  unexplained.  But  let  us 
part  in  peace,  and  await  the  time  when  there  shall  be  no 
necessity  for  any  more  reserve.  I  doubt  not  you  are  justified 
in  concealing  what  you  are  so  reluctant  to  impart.  Then, 
Oh,  doubt  not  me  !  " 

"  Ah,  Lucy  !  I  understand  it  all.  Your  secret  is  known 
to  me.  The  danger  you  apprehen4  is  past.  We  met  this 
morning.  He  is  both  a  villain  and  a  coward  ! " 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  What  am  I  to  understand  by  your 
words  ?  " 

"  That  I  know  every  thing,  up  to  the  time  the  carriage 
diverged  from  the  road  it  had  been  traversing.  I  saw  him 
enter  it.  Then  I  saw  no  more,  until  I  met  him  this  morning 
and  he  refused  to  fight  me.  Look  not  so  ghastly.  It  is  not 
the  subject  of  conversation,  nor  will  it  be.  I  was  following 
your  carriage,  and  beheld  him  enter  it." 

"  Cruel — cruel  Edmund  !  You  would  not  attempt  a  res 
cue,  supposing  it  possible  I  might  be  a  willing  captive  ! " 

"  I  was  not  mounted." 

"No  matter!  I  was  the  victim  of  your  ungenerous  suspi 
cions  !  If  it  had  been  a  sister — a  wife — there  had  been  wings  to 
your  feet !  No  horses  could  have  escaped  your  pursuit.  Be  it 
so  !  But  learn  that  you  did  me  great  injustice.  It  was  Roland 
— the  monster  above  all  others  whom  I  most  dread  and  despise. 
I  can  only  say  I  escaped  from  him  by  means  of  the  interposi 
tion  of  my  faithful  uog.  I  go  to  avoid  his  persecutions.  That 


BLAZES  !      IT'S    A    WHOPPER.  139 

is  my  secret.  Let  it  suffice.  You  say  you  witnessed  his  in 
trusion — and  although  you  did  not  interpose  in  my  behalf,  yet 
you  sought  an  explanation  of  him,  and  offered  him  combat. 
You  have  an  acknowledgment  of  my  gratitude,  although  I 
could  not  have  wished  to  see  you  imperil  your  life  on  my  ac 
count.  Farewell.  He  will  not  be  likely  to  divulge  his  own 
baseness,  and  there  can  be  no  reason  why  you  should  disclose 
the  unhappy  predicament  in  which  I  was  involved  for  a  brief 
interval." 

"  Stay,  Lucy  !  One  moment  more  !  "  cried  Edmund,  seek 
ing  to  detain  her. 

"  No,  sir  !  I  will  say  no  more.  And  I  must  labor  under 
the  painful  apprehension  that  what  I  have  already  uttered, 
may  not  be  credited  by  you,  since  my  truth  was  doubted 
once." 

Just  at  that  moment  a  tremendous  plunge  in  the  bushes 
on  the  margin  of  the  brook,  followed  by  a  great  splash,  ar 
rested  the  attention  of  Lowe,  and  accelerated  the  retreating 
steps  of  Lucy. 

"  Blazes  !  But  it's  a  whopper  ! "  said  Bill  Dizzle,  rising  up, 
with  a  great  frog  struggling  in  the  agonies  of  death  on  the 
point  of  his  spear.  "  Mr.  Lowe,  Mr.  Lowe  !  "  he  continued, 
"  I  followed  him  more  nor  a  quarter  o'  a  mile.  See  what 
lovely  eyes  he's  got !  " 

Lowe,  frowning,  strode  away,  laboring  under  the  painful  con 
viction  that  he  had  both  wronged  and  offended  Lucy.  She  had 
left  him  almost  in  anger,  certainly  in  affliction  from  the  thought 
that  he  could  be  capable  of  doubting  the  propriety  of  her 
conduct.  And  she  had  not,  and  perhaps  would  not,  inform 
him  of  the  place  of  her  future  abode. 

"  Mr.  Lowe,"  persisted  Dizzle,  following  him,  "  I  came  to 
hunt  you,  when  I  found  the  frog.  I  come  to  tell  you  all 
about  Mr.  Roland's  being  flung  by  his  horse " 

"  Hah  ! "  exclaimed  Lowe,  his  ear  attracted  by  the  name  of 
Roland.  He  listened  attentively  to  Dizzle's  narration,  and 
was  then  moving  forward  again  without  uttering  any  remark 
on  the  occurrence,  when  Dizzle  proceeded  to  add  the  substance 
of  what  he  overheard  in  the  conversation  between  Roland  and 
the  Quaker,  for  he  had  lingered  near  the  door. 

"  No  matter.  I  fear  him  not,"  said  Lowe  ;  "  but  I  thank 
you,  Bill.  Do  not  let  that  base  creature  lead  you  into  evil 
practices." 


140  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I'll  try  not,  sir  ;  but  I'm  bound  to  vote  for  him." 

li  Why  are  you  bound  to  vote  for  him  ?  I  supposed  it  was 
only  in  monarchical  governments  where  landlords  exercised 
such  control  over  their  tenants.  This  is  a  land  of  liberty,  and 
he  is  a  democrat." 

"  All  I  know  is,  if  I  don't  vote  for  him,  my  sister  will  be 
turned  out  of  her  cabin.  She  told  me  so  herself.  But  I  don't 
like  the  way  he  talked  to-day." 

"  It  matters  not — to  me,"  said  Lowe,  turning  aside,  and 
leaping  across  the  brook,  leaving  Dizzle  to  stare  after  him,  and 
at  his  frog,  alternately. 

The  unhappy  man  shut  himself  up  in  his  chamber,  a  prey 
to  many  painful  meditations.  But,  resolved  to  rend  asunder 
the  cloud  which  enveloped  him,  he  started  up  after  sitting  for 
more  than  an  hour  in  deep  reflection,  and  crossed  over  to  Mrs. 
Winkle's  mansion  to  seek  another  interview  with  Lucy.  Hav 
ing  obtained  admittance  into  the  hall,  he  learned  from  Biddy 
Boggle  that  her  "  missus  "  was  engaged  with  a  Mr.  Parke,  a 
friend  of  Walter's.  And  in  confirmation  of  the  statement, 
he  heard  Lucy's  voice,  repeating  the  song  which  had  produced 
such  a  sensation  at  her  uncle's  party.  Passing  by  the  parlor 
door,  he  sought  Mrs.  Winkle,  whom  he  found  in  her  usual  sit 
ting-room.  She  received  him  with  her  accustomed  smile. 

"  Sit  down,  Mr.  Lowe.  Lucy  has  informed  me  of  your 
interview  at  the  brook,  and  that  you  are  acquainted  with  the 
fact  of  her  having  been  captured  by  the  enemy  last  night." 

"  It  is  really  so.  madam.  And  I  came  here  to  entreat  her 
pardon  for  the  obtuseness — I  will  not  call  it  doubt — which 
restrained  me  from  making  an  attempt  to  rescue  her.  Most 
humbly  do  I  beg  her  pardon ;  and  you  will  please  inform  her 
of  my  contrition,  and  humble  petition  to  be  forgiven,  if  she 
should  persist  in  prolonging  my  banishment  from,  her  pre 
sence." 

"  Certainly,  sir — and  I  can,  besides,  assure  her  that  there 
was  a  serious  earnestness  in  your  aspect  and  manner.  But 
Lucy  intends  to  banish  herself." 

"  And  she  has  declined  imparting  to  me  the  place  chosen 
for  her  seclusion.  Perhaps  you  will  be  kind  enough  to  inform 
me?" 

"  No.  I  must  not  interfere.  She  may  have  good  and 
sufficient  reasons  for  declining.  You  have  had  your  mystery 
— now  she  has  hers.  There  should  be  none  on  either  side — 


FAIR    PLAY.  141 

but  one  will  counterpoise  the  other.  Love's  comedy  of  strata 
gems  !  I  must  not  interpose  to  disarrange  your  plots — only 
I  can  warn  you  that  woman's  wit  is  the  keenest.  Lucy  and  I 
have  a  perfect  understanding  with  each  other.  She  is  never 
to  marry  without  my  concurrence,  and  I  am  never  to  attempt 
to  impose  on  her  any  choice  of  mine,  contrary  to  her  wishes. 
But  I  may  say,  so  far  as  we  can  see  and  know,  that  is,  if  there 
be  nothing  hidden  to  create  obstacles — it  is  my  opinion  that 
Mr.  Lowe,  if  he  should  resolutely  continue  the  pursuit,  may 
win  the  race.  But  Mr.  Lowe  must  choose  his  own  time  to 
make  the  requisite  explanations,  and  Miss  Lucy  must  enjoy 
the  same  privilege.  That  is  fair,  in  love.  Well?  Who's 
there  ?  "  she  continued,  addressing  Biddy,  who  appeared  at 
the  door. 

"  Biz— Diz— Dill  Bizzle,  mam." 

"  Here,  Biddy,  give  him  this  note.  It  is  for  Walter.  Tell 
him  to  be  sure  and  see  him." 

"  Yes,  mam." 

"  Walter  has  forgotten  the  friends  who  accompanied  him 
from  the  city." 

"  And  Lucy,  I  presume,  is  entertaining  one  of  them  during 
her  brother's  absence." 

"  True.  It  is  a  sister's  duty.  And  if  he  should  fall  iu 
love,  it  will  be  no  fault  of  hers." 

"  You  mean  if  he  should  not"  said  Lowe,  smiling  faintly. 

"  Poets  and  novelists  would  persuade  the  world  that  such 
is  the  character  of  the  sex.  It  has  been  a  wonder  to  me,  if 
they  possessed  such  an  accurate  knowledge  of  our  dispositions, 
why  they  are  not  generally  more  fortunate  in  the  selections 
they  make  themselves.  But  is  not  Lucy  free  ?  " 

"  Oh,  certainly." 

"  Then,  until  the  irrevocable  words  are  spoken,  take  a 
woman's  advice  and  eschew  jealousy.  And,  really,  if  Lucy 
should  fortunately  meet  any  one  preferable  to  yourself  in  her 
estimation,  she  must  be  at  liberty  to  embrace  him — I  mean  to 
listen  to  his  offer,  to  hear  his  account  of  himself,  etc." 

"Oh,  yes!" 

"  Well,  why  sigh  about  it  ?  But  for  the  purpose  of  miti 
gating  your  despair,  I  suppose  I  may  be  permitted  to  say  that 
the  place  which  has  been  selected  for  Lucy's  abode,  is  not  one 
where  it  is  at  all  probable  she  will  meet  many  strangers." 

"  It  is  a  relief  to  know  that,"  said  Lowe.     "  I  suppose,  Mrs. 


142  THE   WINKLES. 

Winkle,"  he  added,  when  rising  to  depart,  "  Lucy  informed 
you  that  I  had  sought  a  meeting  with  Roland,  and  that  the 
result  merely  exposed  his  pusillanimity.  He  threatened  to 
denounce  me  as  a  highwayman.  I  do  not  fear  it.  Nor  do 
I  fear  he  will  seek  to  injure  Lucy's  character.  Hence  the  oc 
currence  of  last  night  may  be  easily  suppressed." 

!i  Roland  has  written  me  an  apologizing  letter.  He  admits 
his  madness — but  says  it  is  the  result  of  love." 

"  Preserve  his  letter.  He  is  a  villain.  His  conduct  made 
me  forget  myself  and  offer  him  combat.  I  do  not  think  I 
could  again  be  provoked  to  repeat  such  an  indiscretion,  and  I 
fear  my  conduct  on  that  occasion  is  not  approved  by  Lucy. 
Nothing  short  of  defending  her  honor,  could  induce  me  to  en 
gage  in  mortal  strife  with  an  enemy,  in  a  country  where  there 
are  laws  to  vindicate  the  injured."  Lowe  departed. 


CHAPTER    XIY. 


THE  BEIDE  TAKING  POSSESSION-MISS  WILSOME  WINKLE  EESOLYE8 
TO    MAEEY. 

WALTER,  after  the  amusements  of  the  night,  slept  rather  later 
than  usual ;  and  upon  making  his  appearance  in  the  breakfast 
room,  he  learned  that  his  uncle  and  aunt  had  taken  their  re 
past  an  hour  before.  But  the  thoughtful  Grriselda  had  kept 
his  coffee  hot. 

It  was  just  when  his  breakfast  was  finished,  that  Walter 
espied  outside  of  a  window  about  half  of  the  weather-beaten 
and  war-worn  face  of  Sergeant  Blore.  His  eye  was  rolling  in 
great  excitement,  and  he  secretly  beckoned  the  young  man  to 
approach. 

When  Walter  joined  the  sergeant,  the  latter  led  him  into 
a  sentry  box  in  the  vicinity,  and  cautioned  him  not  to  speak 
loudly,  or  make  any  noise  that  might  attract  attention. 

"  What  is  it  ?  "  asked  Walter,  in  a  whisper. 

"  The  emperor  has  almost  abdicated,"  said  Blore,  in  dis 
tressful  accents,  while  his  eye  was  moistened  with  a  tear, 


A    CAPITULATION.  143 

"  They  call  it  a  treaty — but  it  is  an  abdication.     I  was  com 
pelled  to  sign  as  a  witness." 

"  What  is  all  this  ?     What  have  you  signed  ?  " 

"  A  capitulation  !  "  continued  Blore — "  the  most  humiliat 
ing  and  disgraceful  terms  !  " 

"  Explain,  sergeant,  explain." 

After  many  lamentations,  the  sergeant  informed  Walter 
that  his  uncle  had  been  attacked  early  in  the  morning,  by  the 
housekeeper  and  cook,  and  had  fallen  back  discomfited  on  his 
wife,  who  undertook  to  afford  him  security  and  protection  on 
certain  conditions,  which  had  been  agreed  to,  written  down, 
and  signed.  They  were  substantially  as  follows :  Mrs.  Winkle 
was  to  have  the  purse — Mr.  Winkle  the  sword.  In  all  civil 
affairs,  she  was  to  be  supreme — in  all  military  matters  he  to 
be  the  head.  And  in  pursuance  of  this  convention,  the  keys 
of  the  treasury  were  placed  in  the  custody  of  Mrs.  Winkle, 
who  could  at  any  time  discharge  the  garrison,  by  withholding 
the  pay  and  rations  !  The  sergeant,  however,  foreseeing  the 
possibility  of  such  a  contingency,  and  with  a  single  eye  to  his 
own  interests,  had  caused  an  article  to  be  inserted,  that  his 
name  should  be  retained  on  the  pension  list  during  the  con 
tinuance  of  his  mortal  life. 

"  Three  cheers  for  Gusset !  "  said  Walter. 

"  No  !  Hush ! "  said  Blore,  placing  his  hand  on  the  young 
man's  mouth.  "  She  might  take  umbrage,  and  I  tell  you  she 
is  the  absolute  mistress  of  the  establishment.  She  will  be  a 
tyrant — another  Catharine.  I  know  a  vixen  when  I  see  her. 
Let  me  tell  you  a  secret.  I  was  married  once,  and  thought 
some  time  or  other  to  marry  again — but  I  won't !  No !  I 
would  rather  lose  the  rest  of  my  limbs.  You  know  Mrs.  Ed 
wards  ?  " 

"  Lowe's  scolding  old  housekeeper  ?  " 

"  She !  That  she  wolf !  I  intended  to  marry  her,  as  a 
sort  of  companion  for  your  uncle's  spouse.  My  first  wife  was 
a  scold — a  tigress.  Mrs.  Edwards  loved  frogs,  and  as  our 
tastes  were  alike,  I  thought  we  might  agree  together.  I  paid 
her  a  visit,  and  what  do  you  think  ?  " 

"  I  think  it  a  wonder  she  didn't  bite  off  your  nose.  But 
I  believe  she  has  no  teeth.  Didn't  she  explode  like  a 
bomb?" 

«  No — she  screamed,  and  tried  to  throw  her  arms  around 
me!" 


144  THE   WINKLES. 

"  What — the  first  visit  ?  " 

"  She  had  seen  me  a  thousand  times  before  !  Mrs.  Ed 
wards,"  continued  the  sergeant,  in  a  very  low  whisper,  "  was 
Mrs.  Blore ! " 

"  Your  own  wife  ?  " 

"  True — as  I  was  at  Waterloo  !  I  thought  her  dead — and 
as  my  Maker  can  witness,  I  hoped  so.  She  thought  the  same 
of  me,  and  I  have  no  doubt,  hoped  the  same.  One  half  of  me 
was  shot  away,  and  I  was  reported  dead.  She  married  again, 
and  her  second  husband  was  drowned,  instead  of  hanged." 

l'  I  would  have  given  something  to  have  been  present  at 
the  meeting,"  said  Walter. 

"  Oh,  I  fell  down  and  begged  for  quarter,  which  she 
granted,  on  condition  of  a  certain  indemnity " 

"  Wherefore  ?  You  were  going  to  marry  her  as  Mrs.  Ed 
wards — why  not  take  her  as  your  own  wife  ?  " 

"  I  would  rather  go  to  the  d — 1  at  once  !  There  was  always 
a  h — 1  in  my  quarters  when  we  lived  together.  But  I  don't 
want  to  pay  the  money  I  promised.  She  has  no  right  to  it. 
I  want  you  to  get  me  the  opinion  of  a  lawyer.  You  needn't 
mention  names.  I  have  the  money.  For  forty  years  I  have 
spent  nothing,  and  have  been  laying  up  all  the  time.  All  I 
have  I  will  give  to  you " 

"To  me,  sergeant  ?  " 

"  Yes,  to  you — and  you  will  need  it,  for  your  aunt  here 
will  stop  supplies  from  your  uncle's  chest — if  you  will  only 
keep  me  out  of  the  clutches  of  that  she  d — 1 !  " 

"  I'll  send  her  to  the  penitentiary  for  bigamy,  if  you  have 
no  objection." 

"  Objection  ?  It  would  be  the  most  glorious  news  since 
the  emperor's  escape  from  Elba  !  " 

"  But  you  shall  keep  your  money.  I  will  not  have  it. 
Enough  of  these  family  affairs.  I  want  to  try  my  uncle,  I 
hope  he  may  be  reformed,  for  the  doctors  say  an  excessive  in 
dulgence  in  such  hallucinations  may  terminate  in  confirmed 
insanity.  I  am  curious  to  know  to  what  extent  he  can  be 
influenced  by  his  wife.  Have  you  had  the  mortar  I  sent  up 
put  in  the  boat?" 

"  Yes,  and  the  bombs,  too.  All  is  ready.  Shall  we  make 
the  bull  bellow?" 

"  Yes.     But  how  can  you  do  that  ?  " 


DAYS  OF  GLORY  OVER.  145 

"  By  shaking  a  piece  of  red  flannel  on  one  side  of  the 
Channel." 

11  Then  go  about  it.  I  will  be  with  my  uncle  in  his  cabi 
net  when  the  messenger  arrives." 

When  Walter  joined  his  uncle,  the  latter  was  finishing  the 
perusal  of  Alison's  account  of  the  camp  at  Boulogne.  He 
closed  the  book  with  a  sigh,  and  said : 

'k  I  fear  the  days  of  glory  are  over.  What  a  spectacle  it 
must  have  been  to  see  such  an  array  of  military  strength 
assembled  in  view  of  the  cliffs  of  England !  And  the  pro 
found  dissimulation  of  that  unequalled  genius  !  No  one  sus 
pecting  the  point  where  the  blow  would  fall !  All  supposing 
it  was  really  his  intention  to  imitate  Caesar  in  a  descent  upon 
the  coast ! " 

"  His  was  undoubtedly  the  greatest  genius  the  world  ever 
produced,"  said  Walter. 

"  True,  Walter ;  and  I  have  often  sat  upon  my  horse  and 
fancied  I  saw  how  his  victories  were  won,  and  enjoyed  his 
triumphs.  But  I  fear  I  have  indulged  too  much  in  such  mere 
fancies.  Griselda  says  so — and  she  says,  moreover,  the  people 
insinuate  that  my  mind  is  partially  deranged.  It  is  not  so. 
Nevertheless,  my  own  people  act  sometimes  as  if  I  were  an 
idiot,  and  would  suffer  any  indignity.  Think  of  their  rude 
ness  last  night !  My  wedding  night !  But  your  aunt  shall 
punish  them  as  they  deserve.  She  is  a  sensible  woman, 
Walter ;  be  kind  to  her.  I  have  placed  great  power  in  her 
hands." 

"  She  and  I  were  always  good  friends,  uncle.  But,  sir, 
have  you  seen  the  mortar  I  sent  you  ?  " 

"  Not  yet ;  I  ordered  it  to  be  put  in  the  gunboat  cruising 
in  the  Channel,  and  did  intend  to  go  on  board  before  break 
fast.  But  you  know  how  I  was  disturbed  last  night,  and  I 
slept  later  this  morning  than  usual.  Griselda,  though,  was 
up  before  the  lark,  and  wheedled  me  out  of  my  purpose. 
What  brought  you  here  ?  "  he  continued,  addressing  Blore:s 
messenger,  who  came  bowing  into  the  room. 

u  The  bull  is  bellowing,  sir,  with  his  face  towards  the 
camp,  and  he's  pawing  up  the  ground,  and  lashing  about  with 
his  tail." 

"  I'll  go  !  Tell  Blore  to  man  the  gunboat.  Come,  Walter, 
we'll  have  you  along,  to  witness  the  performance  of  the  mor- 


146  THE    WINKLES. 

tar.     We'll  have  a  cruise  in  the  Channel,  and  a  few  shots  at 
John  Bull." 

Walter  followed  his  uncle  into  the  orchard,  and  in  the  di 
rection  of  the  camp  of  Boulogne.  When  they  entered  the 
garrison,  they  were  hailed  by  enthusiastic  huzzas,  and  Walter 
saw  the  red  flannel  (it  was  a  shirt)  which  had  exasperated  the 
bull,  thrust  quickly  under  a  gun. 

The  provocation  removed,  Johnny  returned  quietly  to  his 
browsing,  notwithstanding  the  presence  of  his  chiefest  enemy. 
Then  the  old  commander  and  Walter,  followed  by  the  allotted 
crew,  entered  the  gunboat,  in  which  the  mortar  had  been 
placed,  and  began  to  cruise  in  the  Channel.  Every  now  and 
then  the  mortar  was  discharged,  throwing  wooden  balls  which 
had  been  picked  up  in  dilapidated  ten-pin  alleys.  They  were 
watched  in  their  courses,  and  marked  where  they  fell,  to  be 
used  again.  Walter  and  the  sergeant  had  likewise  prepared 
some  bags  of  sand,  with  powder  and  fuses,  to  explode  in  the 
air. 

Thus  they  amused  themselves,  until  the  gunner,  neglecting 
to  elevate  the  piece  sufficiently,  one  of  the  balls  taking  a 
horizontal  direction,  struck  the  orchard  fence  at  a  weak  point 
and  prostrated  it.  Immediately  the  whole  herd  of  cows  and 
giddy  heifers  passed  through  the  breach  and  ran  down  to  the 
margin  of  the  water,  while  the  old  bull,  on  the  opposite  side 
of  the  Channel,  lifted  his  head  and  muttered  something  deep 
and  low,  which  they  seemed  to  understand,  although  it  was 
incomprehensible  to  the  men.  But  they  were  soon  made  to 
understand  the  meaning  of  such  communication,  for  the  cattle, 
after  slaking  their  thirst,  plunged  forward  and  swam  over  to 
the  green  island. 

"  Treason  !  "  cried  Napoleon — "  they  are  going  over  to  the 
enemy  !  Fire  at  the  bull,  and  row  ahead  of  the  deserters  1 " 

He  was  obeyed.  A  sand-bag  bomb  exploded  over  the 
head  of  Johnny,  but  did  not  seem  to  intimidate  him.  He 
ran  into  the  water  and  drove  back  the  boat,  the  oarsmen  de 
clining  a  collision  with  him,  and  enabled  the  cows  and  heifers 
to  land  without  further  opposition ;  and  when  upon  his  terri 
tory  they  evinced  much  joy  by  playful  gambols  and  fantastic 
feats  of  agility. 

In  vain  did  the  men  endeavor  to  effect  a  landing  at  the 
various  accessible  points.  No  sooner  did  they  approach  the 
soil,  than  the  bull  charged  them,  and  drove  them  back  into  the 


AN   OLD   ENEMY.  147 

waves.  Once  he  succeeded  in  getting  one  of  his  feet  in  the 
boat,  and  came  near  sinking  it.  At  another  time  he  tore  off  a 
portion  of  the  gunwale  with  his  horn,  and  caused  such  a  body 
of  water  to  flow  in,  that  the  powder  was  spoilt,  and  of  course 
the  gun  was  silenced.  Then  the  men  were  ordered  to  with 
draw  from  the  hostile  coast. 

But  the  enemy,  not  satisfied  with  repelling  the  assailants, 
pursued  them  in  terror.  The  blood  of  the  bull  was  up.  He 
plunged  forward  with  the  determination  to  annihilate  his 
tormentors. 

"  Row  !  row  !  "  cried  Napoleon,  "  or  we  shall  be  drowned." 

The  oarsmen  required  no  peremptory  order  to  exert  them 
selves.  The  case  was  an  urgent  one,  and  they  had  quite  as 
much  at  stake  as  their  commander.  They  plied  themselves, 
therefore,  with  all  their  powers  of  propulsion,  and  steered  for 
the  battery,  from  which  discharges  were  fired  in  quick  succes 
sion  at  the  undaunted  pursuers. 

"  Put  in  ball !  fire  metal ! "  cried  Napoleon.  But  they 
had  no  balls,  fortunately,  for  they  might  have  shattered  the 
boat  to  atoms,  and  involved  friends  and  foes  in  one  common 
fate.  As  it  was,  the  burning  wadding  of  the  cannon  fell  in 
the  boat,  and  would  certainly  have  ignited  the  powder,  and 
blown  them  up,  had  it  not  been  dissolved  in  the  water. 

At  length,  when  the  boat  approached  the  muzzles  of  the 
guns,  the  bull  curved  gracefully  round  and  swam  back  to  the 
cows  and  heifers,  and  just  as  they  began  to  exhibit  symptoms 
of  a  disposition  to  follow  him. 

When  the  discomfited  party  sprang  out  upon  land,  Wal 
ter  was  met  by  the  faithful  messenger,  Bill  Dizzle,  and  re 
ceived  the  note  sent  by  his  mother.  He  stepped  apart  to 
peruse  it,  while  his  uncle  fell  asleep  reclining  against  the  root 
of  an  apple  tree,  so  completely  had  he  been  overcome  by  ex 
haustion. 

Meantime  Mrs.  G-riselda  Winkle  had  not  been  idle.  After 
the  departure  of  her  lord,  she  sent  for  the  housekeeper,  to  at 
tend  her  in  a  sort  of  royal  progress  through  the  apartments. 

"  Mercy  on  me  !  "  she  exclaimed,  when  the  door  of  the  ser 
geant's  room  was  thrown  open.  "  Why  this  looks  like  a  prison- 
room,  Mrs.  Acrid  !  " 

"  Good  enough  for  the  old  owl,"  was  the  reply. 
"  But  not  good  housekeeping,  Mrs.  Acrid.     I  have  been 
accustomed  to  see  my  rooms  kept  clean  and  sweet " 


148  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Sweet !  I  don't  know  how  you'd  go  about  making  that 
old  beast's  room  sweet.  I  have  to  hold  my  nose  every  time  I 
come  into  it.  You  might  as  well  talk  about  making- a  skunk's 
bed  sweet." 

"  Mrs.  Acrid,  we  will  confer  more  particularly  about  that 
presently,"  said  Griselda,  proceeding  next  to  the  chamber 
Walter  had  occupied.  "  Bless  me  !  "  she  continued,  u  the  bed 
has  not  yet  been  made  up." 

"  Nobody  will  want  it  before  night.  There  is  no  need  for 
being  in  a  hurry,"  was  the  reply  of  the  sullen  housekeeper. 

"  Worse  still !  "  cried  Griselda,  when  they  entered  the 
chamber  she  had  occupied  herself.  "  Every  thing  just  as  I 
left  it !  The  bed  not  made — the  floor  not  swept — the  basins 
and  jugs  not  emptied " 

"  Certainly  they  ain't,  mam  !  That's  what  I  was  talking 
to  Mr.  Winkle  about  this  morning." 

"  You  were  talking  to  him  about  it  ?  " 

"  To  be  sure.  I  wanted  to  know  if  you  wasn't  to  keep 
your  own  room  in  order." 

"  And  what  did  he  say  ?  " 

"  He  said  he'd  speak  to  you." 

"  He  did." 


the 
out 
house  twenty  years." 

"Mrs.  Acrid!" 

<fc  Well,  mam  !  " 

"  What  do  you  suppose  will  be  you  duties  hereafter  ?  " 

"  Duties  !  I've  always  done  what  I  pleased,  and  when  it 
was  convenient,  and  I  never  had  such  sour  looks  before.  If 
any  change  is  to  be  made,  Jam  the  one  to  make  it.  I  will 
leave.  I  gave  him  warning  this  morning.  My  month's  up 
to-morrow." 

"  There  will  be  a  change,  Mrs.  Acrid.  When  servants 
hire  themselves  for  wages,  they  must  perform  their  duties — " 

"  Servants  !  "  screamed  Mrs.  Acrid,  throwing  up  her 
hands. 

"  Servants  !  "  echoed  the  mulatto  cook,  who  had  been  watch 
ing  and  listening. 

'^Certainly — servants.  Are  not  wages  paid  you  for  per 
forming  certain  services  ?  " 


A    BOW    AMONG    THE    "  HELP."  149 

ic  I  never  before  heard  any  body  in  this  house  called  a  ser 
vant  !  "  said  the  housekeeper. 

"  Nor  I  nother  !  /  won't  be  called  one  !  "  said  the  cook, 
exhibiting  her  bust  a  moment,  propped  by  her  arms  akimbo, 
and  then  disappearing,  and  retreating  towards  the  kitchen, 
slamming  all  the  doors  after  her. 

"  Who  was  that  ? r  demanded  the  pale  imperturbable 
Griselda. 

"  The  cook.  But  she'll  cook  no  more  in  this  house,  if  she's 
to  be  called  a  servant.  If  you  want  her  to  stay,  you'd  better 
take  back  your  words,  and  apologize.  I  won't  stay  either,  if 
you  don't  apologize  to  me.  Nobody  will  stay  to  be  called  a 
servant,  by  one  who  was  onoe  an  apprentice,  and  afterwards  a 
milliner,  who  done  her  own  cleaning,  and  emptying  and  filling  ! 
You  should  recollect  that,  mam,  if  you  want  to  live  pleasantly 
in  this  house." 

"  Mrs.  Acrid,"  said  Griselda,  her  white  lips  quivering,  and 
at  the  same  time  holding  her  purse  with  difficulty  in  her  trem 
bling  hand — "  what  wages  do  you  receive  ?  " 

u  I  get  compensation,  mam — sometimes  they  call  it  salary. 
The  last  time  I  threatened  to  leave,  Mr.  Winkle  put  it  up 
from  eight  to  ten  dollars  a  month.  He  soon  found  he  couldn't 
do  without  me  !  " 

"  Here  are  ten  dollars  Pack  up  your  things  and  be  off 
as  soon  as  you  can  !  " 

"  Me  !  I— I—I'll  see  you  in  Jericho  first !  " 
"  No  impudence  !  You  have  your  wages.     Go  !  Mr.  Buck, 
the  constable,  is  below  awaiting  my  orders.     If  you  make  any 
disturbance,  or  refuse  to  obey,  I  will  have  you  arrested  and 
sent  to  prison." 

"  Me  ?  sent  to  prison  ?  " 

"  Yes,  you — for  stealing  your  master's  spoons.  The  rob 
bery  last  year  has  been  traced  to  you,  instead  of  the  soldiers. 
Do  you  recollect  a  certain^Abraham  Laban,  a  Jew  ?  " 

"  Lord  :ave  mercy  on  me  !  "  cried  Mrs.  Acrid,  falling  down 
on  her  knees.  "  Oh,  mam,  have  pity  on  a  poor  old  helpless 
woman,  and  save  her  from  disgrace  !  " 

':  If  you  depart  peaceably,  you  shall  not  be  molested. 
You  have  stolen  enough  since  you  have  been  here  to  keep  you 
from  want.  Go,  and  enjoy  it  if  you  can.  In  fifteen  minutes 
you  must  be  out  of  the  house — and  mind  !  if  you  carry  away 


150  THE   WINKLES. 

any  thing  not  your  own,  you  shall  answer  for  all  your  thefts, 
There  is  an  eye  upon  you.     You  are  watched." 

Then  Griselda  descended  to  the  kitchen,  where  she  found 
the  cook  tossing  the  pots  and  pans  about  in  most  reckless  con 
fusion. 

"  Well,  cook,"  said  she,  smiling  sardonically,  "  I  have 
finished  with  the  housekeeper.  I  must  now  have  an  under 
standing  with  you." 

"  That's  not  my  name  !  "  said  the  cook,  whirling  round  and 
facing  Griselda  with  a  fierceness  designed  for  intimidation. 

"  What  is  your  name  ?  " 

"  Amanda  Ann." 

"  Very  well.  But  why  do  you  keep  the  kitchen  in  such 
bad  order  ?  The  floor  is  covered  with  litter  and  filthy  rags, 
and  none  of  the  vessels  are  clean.  All  the  tin  is  rusty  and 


"  La,  mam,  nobody  has  a  right  to  come  in  the  kitchen  to 
criticise  things  !  Who  ever  heard  of  the  like  !  I'm  mistress 
here  —  and  if  I'm  to  be  interfered  with,  I'll  pack  up  my  duds 
and  leave—  that's  what  I'll  do  !  " 

<:  I'm  mistress  over  all  —  all  the  rest  are  my  servants." 
"  I'm  nobody's  servant  !  I'd  starve  first.  I've  cooked 
in  the  richest  families  in  the  city,  and  have  never  been  called 
a  servant.  And  what's  more,  the  ladies  of  the  houses  —  and 
they  were  ladies,  too  —  never  came  meddling  with  my  business. 
I  won't  stand  it  !  You  may  get  somebody  else  that  will  —  but 
I  won't  !  " 

"  How  much  is  due  you  ?  " 

"  Two  months.  You  needn't  turn  up  your  nose  at  them 
frogs  -  " 

"  Throw  them  away.     I  will  have  no  more  frogs  cooked. 
If  Blore  won't  eat  chickens,  he  may  fast." 
<(  I  shall  do  no  such  thing  !  " 

"  I  will,  then  !  "  and  Griselda,  snatched  up  the  tongs  and 
cast  the  frogs  into  the  slop  barrel.  "  Here  are  your  wages," 
she  continued.  tl  You  must  leave  immediately.  After  hear 
ing  your  impudence,  and  ruining  the  condition  of  things  in 
this  place,  I  would  not  for  the  world  eat  a  dinner  of  your 
cooking." 

"  My  cooking  !  You  !  You,  who  have  lived  on  potato  pair 
ings  and  tripe  !  " 

"  Go  !  Mr.  Buck  the  constable  is  waiting  in  the  next  room, 


A   CHANGE   OF    SERVANTS.  151 

If  you  do  not  depart  quietly,  I  will  make  him  arrest  you  for 
stealing  your  master's  chickens.  You  can  no  longer  sell  the 
poultry,  and  subsist  the  rest  on  frogs,  Mr.  Buck  says  you 
have  been  sending  him  chickens  and  butter  for  several  years — 
and  he  thought  Mr.  Winkle  had  the  money,  I  could  send 
you  to  the  penitentiary," 

"  I  beg  pardon,  mam !  Don't  have  me  taken  up,  if  you 
please  !  I'll  do  any  thing  you  want  me  !  " 

"  Then  leave  the  premises  in  ten  minutes." 

Griselda  had  no  Mr.  Buck  in  the  next  room ;  but  she  had 
held  several  conferences  with  that  astute  functionary  before 
her  marriage,  and  had  obtained  valuable  information  from 
him.  He  had  been  her  next  door  neighbor,  and  promised  very 
readily  to  become  an  auxiliary.  He  was  from  the  land  of 
steady  habits  and  the  clime  of  keen  perceptions.  The  bride's 
antecedents  he  would  know  nothing  about,  if  her  future  could 
be  made  advantageous  to  himself.  But  if  there  was  no  Mr. 
Buck  in  the  next  room,  there  was  a  housekeeper  and  a  cook 
of  Griselda' s  own  choosing,  whom  she  had  provided  for  such  a 
contingency  as  had  just  happened.  She  now  joined  them  and 
related  what  had  occurred,  to  their  infinite  satisfaction.  And 
when  the  old  domestics  had  departed,  with  their  trunks  pre 
ceding  them  in  a  cart,  the  creatures  of  the  mistress  emerged 
from  their  hiding-place  in  great  glee,  and  entered  with 
alacrity  upon  the  discharge  of  their  duties. 

Then  Griselda  retired  to  her  chamber  and  arrayed  herself 
in  one  of  the  splendid  and  costly  dresses  she  had  secretly  .pro 
vided  for  such  an  occasion.  Little  did  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle 
suppose,  when  she  slighted  the  retired  milliner,  in  the  fashion 
able  street  of  Philadelphia,  that  the  pale  creature,  humble 
and  obscure  as  she  seemed,  was  at  that  moment  meditating  one 
of  the  most  lofty  triumphs  of  woman's  ambition.  Long  before 
that  day  had  the  quiet  milliner  designed  to  become  the  bride 
of  Napoleon  Winkle.  She  had  studied  his  character,  and  as 
certained  that  the  accomplishment  of  such  a  project  was  easily 
practicable.  Therefore,  having  every  thing  in  readiness,  the 
demure  Gusset,  when  so  unceremoniously  dismissed,  as  she  in 
terpreted  it,  from  the  mansion  of  the  rich  and  aristocratic  old 
maid,  walked  deliberately  forth,  with  the  firm  purpose  of  hav 
ing  the  wedding  consummated  without  further  delay.  And  it 
was  a  matter  of  secret  exultation  that  she  was  enabled  to  settle 


152  THE    WINKLES. 

the  matter  definitively  the  very  next  day,  and  that,  too,  almost 
in  the  presence  of  the  high-bred  Wilsome. 

Of  course  the  retired  milliner  had  not  forgotten  any  of  the 
requisite  adornments  of  the  bride.  It  had  been  her  vocation 
to  furnish  the  most  beautiful  habiliments  for  others,  and  there 
could  be  no  reason  why  she  should  not  provide  fitting  apparel 
for  herself.  Hence,  not  only  her  wedding  garments,  but  her 
second  and  third  day  dresses,  were  all  in  readiness  before  the 
time  was  settled  for  the  nuptials. 

When  Griselda  descended  to  the  hall,  she  was  met  by  her 
husband  and  Walter. 

"  My  beautiful  bride  !  "  exclaimed  Napoleon,  "  I  must  have 
a  salute  at  parting,  for  I  see  the  coach  is  awaiting  you." 

"  How  you  are  bespattered  with  mud !  "  said  Griselda, 
after  receiving  the  kiss,  and  glancing  at  the  soiled  exterior  of 
her  lord. 

"  The  infernal  Eng — no — my  dear,  the  bull.  He  attempted 
to  eifect  a  landing,  for  the  purpose  of  storming  the  batteries 
and  spiking  our  cannon — but — but  did  not  succeed.  When 
will  you  return?  " 

"  To  dinner,  at  four  o'clock.  I  must  hasten  to  explain  to 
our  friends  why  you  have  deemed  it  proper  to  dispense  with 
the  ordinary  etiquette " 

"  Do.  Say  it  was  my  will — and  that  I  preferred  the  so 
ciety  of  my  wife  to  a  mob  of  other  people's  wives  and  daugh 
ters.  Will  you  not  take  Walter  with  you?  He  has  been 
sent  for  by  his  mother,  and  must  go,  I  suppose,  although  I 
shall  miss  him." 

The  chief  then  bowed  with  dignity,  and  strode  into  his 
cabinet,  while  Walter  conducted  his  aunt  to  the  carriage,  which 
he  was  surprised  to  find  had  been  furbished  up  exceedingly. 
The  horses,  four  blacks,  were  in  glittering  harness,  and  the 
coachman  wore  a  hatband  of  gold  lace,  and  large  silver  buttons 
on  his  coat. 

"  This  is  comfortable,  Gus "  began  Walter. 

"  Gusset  no  more,  Walter,"  replied  she  quickly,  placing  her 
magnificent  fan  against  his  lips.  "  But  it  is  comfortable,  as  I 
intended  it  should  be.  I  will  be  comfortable  and  happy  the 
balance  of  my  days.  And  all  those  who  have  sneered  at  the 
humble  Gusset,  because  she  was  once  a  milliner,  shall  see  and 
feel  my  importance." 

"  Don't  put  on  airs,  Gusset — when  we  are  alone,  you  must 


GUSSET    IN    HER    TRUE    COLORS.  153 

allow  me  to  call  you  by  your  old  familiar  name.  But  don't 
hold  your  head  too  high  in  Aunt  Wilsome's  presence,  or  my 
mother's.  The  fortune  uncle  Napoleon  has,  you  know,  came 
from  my  grandfather,  and  should  not  be  used  as  a  means  of 
piquing  any  of  the  family.  We  were  of  the  aristocracy,  Gus 
set,  and  you  know  that  you  can  have  no  such  claims  to  con 
sideration." 

"  I  am  as  good  as  most  of  the  proud  people  of  Babbleton. 
They  made  their  fortunes  in  the  shop,  or  their  parents  did 
before  them.  Fortune  is  every  thing,  as  I  have  observed  all 
my  life.  And  now  my  fortune  is  made." 

"  Very  true.  But  you  should  be  kind,  charitable,  and 
generous  ;  and  not  make  use  of  the  power  you  derive  from  my 
uncle,  to  resent  affronts  given  to  the  milliner." 

"  I  am  old  enough  to  know  my  duty,  and  shall  have  the 
resolution  to  perform  it.  I  would  be  pleased  to  have  the 
friendship  of  my  husband's  family  ;  but  I  can  scarce  hope  for 
it.  Your  uncle  loves  you  as  a  son,  and  you  have  always  been 
a  pet  of  mine.  You  could  do  nothing  to  offend  him,  irrecon 
cilably,  and  I  would  bear  much  from  you.  Yet,  Walter,  let 
me  warn  you  not  to 'join  my  enemies  in  their  enterprises 
against  me.  Be  my  friend,  and  you  will  reap  advantages  from 
it.  You  may  lose  the  friendship  of  your  proud  aunt  in  the 
city,  but  you  will  have  mine.  And  rely  upon  it,  as  your 
enemy,  you  would  have  more  to  fear  from  me  than  her.  Re 
collect  that  you  are  poor " 

"  Say  no  more  about  that !  "  replied  Walter,  angrily.  "I 
have  been  thinking  several  times  of  the  consequences  of  this 
marriage,  and  am  just  beginning  to  realize  them.  I  have  been 
too  thoughtless.  Why  did  you  wish  to  marry  my  uncle? 
You,  an  old  maid,  and  he  an  old  man !  If  I  had  had  my  wits 
about  me,  I  should  have  prevented  it !  " 

"  You  might  have  prevented  it.  You  are  the  only  one 
who  could  have  prevented  it.  But  my  wit  was  the  most  avail 
able.  Let  us  now  understand  each  other,  and  act  in  concert. 
I  know  your  power  with  your  uncle,  and  you  know  mine.  You 
might  produce  discord,  but  hardly  a  separation.  I  might  pro 
cure  your  banishment,  but  it  would  alienate  the  affection  of 
my  husband." 

"  There  need  be  no  difficulty.  You  have  only  to  be  kind 
and  respectful  to  our  family.  My  mother  always  liked  you — 
but  she  never  dreamed  you  ambitious  or  vindictive.  There 


154  THE   WINKLES. 

will  be  no  change  in  us,  unless  there  is  in  you.  But  you 
must  not  restrain  my  uncle  unreasonably — that  is,  you  must 
not  seek  to  balk  his  good  intentions  towards  his  family. 
Act  thus,  and  you  may  be  happy,  and  we  contented." 

"  It  will  be  a  hard  task.  However,  I  shall  not  be  the  first 
to  commence  hostilities.  But  I  will  put  up  with  nothing  from 
the  rest,  that  I  can  put  down." 

"  A  pun,  Gusset.  But  here  we  are,  entering  the  town, 
with  the  whole  population  staring  at  us.  Where  will  you 
stop  first  ? — at  our  house  ?  " 

"  No.  At  the  Arums.  Mrs.  Arum  was  at  your  uncle's 
mansion — your  mother  did  not  come." 

«  The  deuce  !  " 

"  It  is  not  to  resent  your  mother's  absence — but  to  gratify 
the  Arums.  Before  we  part,  Walter,  I  have  one  thing  fur 
ther  to  say.  Previous  to  my  marriage,  Mr.  Roland  did 
every  thing  he  could  to  accomplish  my  wishes.  In  return,  I 
never  omitted  an  opportunity  of  recommending  him  to  Lucy. 
Whatever  may  occur  between  them  hereafter,  always  remem 
ber  I  had  in  view  nothing  but  what  I  deemed  an  honorable 
and  advantageous  match.  I  used  Roland  as  one  of  my  instru 
ments,  while  he  vainly  supposed  I  was  an  instrument  of  his. 
I  believe  now,  that  he  has  no  idea  of  matrimony  ;  and  if 
what  I  have  heard  be  true,  he  is  a  bad  man — a  dangerous 
man — and  I  feel  it  my  duty  to  warn  you  against  him.  Lucy 
needs  no  warning,  for  she  always  disliked  him.  I  shall  cut 
him.  and  defy  his  worst.  He  may  say  he  helped  to  make  the 
match — but  I  shall  laugh  at  the  boast,  knowing  it  will  never 
reach  the  ears  of  your  uncle." 

Walter  then  sprang  out  and  hastened  to  his  mother's  man 
sion,  while  the  proud  dame  descended  in  all  her  glory  at  the 
door  of  the  Arums,  which  was  thrown  open  to  receive  her. 
Mrs.  Arum  embraced  the  now  great  lady.  A  week  before, 
she  would  not  have  been  seen  speaking  to  her  in  public. 
Her  daughters  were  entertaining  Mr.  Snobson  with  all  their 
might  at  the  piano,  playing  and  singing,  while  Mr.  S.  leaned 
upon  the  corner  of  the  instrument  in  a  trance. 

But  all  of  them  surrounded  Mrs.  Griselda  in  the  parlor, 
and  uttered  felicitations.  Mr.  Snobson  inquired  after  Miss 
Lucy,  who,  he  said,  had  created  quite  a  sensation  with  her 
voice,  and  might  do  well  on  the  stage.  If  she  had  any  dispo 
sition  to  make  a  fortune  in  that  way,  he  thought  he  had  influ- 


TRIUMPHANT   PROCESSION.  155 

ence  sufficient  to  procure   her  an  engagement,   and   interest 
enough  with  the  press  to  secure  her  a  fine  reception. 

"  Do  you  mean  Lucy  Winkle  ?  ''  asked  Griselda.  who  still 
entertained  the  most  friendly  feelings  for  her  husband's 
niece. 

"  I  heard  she  was  poor,  and  I  thought  it  a  pity  for  one  of 
her  thrilling  powers  of  voice  to  remain  in  obscurity.  She  is 
not  so  perfect  as  some  I  know  in  her  performance,"  he  con 
tinued,  with  a  significant  glance  at  the  pleased  sisters ;  "  but 
she  sings  with  effect.  It  is  a  pity  she  is  not  in  society." 

Griselda  made  no  reply  to  the  coxcomb,  but  answered  the 
shower  of  questions  asked  by  the  admiring  ladies,  who  were 
in  high  delight  upon  learning  that  the  bride  had  done  them 
the  honor  to  pay  them  the  first  visit.  After  mutually  ex 
hausting  their  vocabulary  of  endearing  epithets,  Griselda 
arose,  and  was  assisted  into  her  coach  by  no  less  an  attendant 
than  Mr.  Snobson  himself,  amidst  the  admiring  gaze  of  the 
people  in  the  street,  and  the  sarcasms  of  the  neighbors  peep 
ing  from  the  windows.  The  parentage  and  wealth  of  Snobson 
being  already  known  in  the  village,  it  was  no  small  distinction 
for  the  retired  milliner  to  be  waited  on  by  him. 

The  next  place  at  which  the  coach  stopped  was  in  front  of 
the  Crudle  mansion.  Here,  too,  a  rapturous  greeting  was 
received  by  the  bride.  The  old  lady  and  her  daughters,  who 
had  been  expecting  the  visitor,  ran  down  the  marble  steps  and 
assisted  Griselda  to  descend,  while  Mr.  Fibber,  whose  shop 
was  in  the  vicinity,  held  open  the  door  of  the  coach.  Fibber 
had  once  refused  to  credit  Gusset  for  a  few  yards  of  dimity — 
but  this  was  Mrs.  Winkle,  the  spouse  of  one  of  the  largest 
landed  proprietors  in  the  country. 

"  We've  been  playing  all  the  morning  for  Mr.  Parke," 
said  Miss  Susan,  when  they  were  seated  in  the  parlor. 

"  We  think  him  a  delightful  young  gentleman,"  said  Miss 
Sally. 

"  He's  altogether  of  a  different  cast  from  Snobson,"  said 
Mrs.  Crudle  ;  "  for  I've  heard  my  husband  say  that  old  Snob- 
son,  the  father  of  this  young  man,  used  to  run  about  the 
streets  shaving  the  paper  of  merchants  for  the  capitalists,  and 
received  a  commission  for  performing  the  dirty  work."  Snob- 
gon  had  neglected  the  Crudles. 

"  I  thought  Virginia  Oakdale  would  have  been  at  your 
delicious  party,"  said  Miss  Susan. 


156  THE    WINKLES. 

"  I  begged  her  to  come  up,'r  said  Griselda ;  "  but  I  did  not 
hint  what  was  going  to  happen." 

"  Oh,  then  she  wasn't  invited  !"  said  Miss  Sally,  tossing 
her  curls  aside.  "  But  do  you  think  she  is  to  be  married  to 
Walter  Winkle,  now  ?  " 

"  I  did  not  know  they  were  ever  engaged,"  said  Griselda, 
suggestively. 

"  Nobody  knew  it,"  said  the  other ;  "  but  every  body  sus 
pected  it.  Of  course  it  can't  take  place  now,  since  he  has  no 
prospect  of  a  fortune." 

"  And  then,  poor  Lucy,"  said  her  sister,  "  what  will  become 
of  her  ?  Mr.  Roland,  I  am  sure,  never  had  any  serious  inten 
tion  of  marrying  her.  And  as  for  the  stranger,  Mr.  Lowe,  I 
hope  she  won't  be  fool  enough  to  throw  herself  away  on  one 
who  may  be,  for  what  any  body  knows  to  the  contrary,  a  refu 
gee  from  justice." 

"  Fugitive,  my  child."  said  her  mother. 

Griselda  really  possessed  a  superior  mind  to  the  rich  par- 
venues  who  had  long  looked  down  upon  her  with  disdain,  and 
she  was  not  slow  to  perceive,  being  now  elevated  to  their  level 
in  the  estimation  of  the  world,  that  no  difficult  task  would  be 
imposed  on  her  in  the  maintenance  of  her  new  position. 

She  drove  next  to  the  widow  Winkle's,  and  was  received 
in  the  usual  manner.  There  may  have  been  more  than  usual 
interest  evinced  in  her  reception,  but  there  was  no  bustle,  no 
parade,  no  adulation. 

Colonel  Oakdale  and  young  Parke  were  in  the  parlor,  and 
they  uttered  their  congratulations  without  irony,  and  without 
the  warmth  of  expression  which  seeks  to  win  the  favor  of  a 
great  personage.  Griselda  now  felt  that  she  was  in  the  pre 
sence  of  her  superiors,  and  sought  to  make  no  display.  She 
even  looked  with  pain,  at  the  fine  clothes  she  wore,  and  which 
had  so  completely  dazzled  the  Arums  and  the  Crudles.  No 
one  asked  her  the  price  paid  for  her  jewels,  no  one  lauded  the 
imposing  ostentation  of  her  equipage. 

On  the  contrary,  when  Walter  came  in  from  the  post-office 
with  a  letter  in  his  hand,  the  bride  ceased  to  share  the  atten 
tion  of  the  company. 

"  Why  do  you  smile,  Walter  ?  "  asked  the  widow,  seeing 
her  son  was  amused. 

"  I  have  a  letter  from  Aunt  Wilsome — a  characteristic  one, 
and  that,  you  know,  would  make  any  body  laugh." 


ANOTHER    MARRIAGE    DEBATED.  157 

"  I  hope  it  contains  no  secrets,"  said  the  colonel,  "  so  that 
I  may  have  the  pleasure  of  hearing  it  read." 

"  But  it  does,  though,"  said  Walter,  "  and  must  not  be 
read  in  public,  at  least  a  portion  of  it." 

Griselda,  supposing  that  her  wedding  would  be  referred  to 
in  no  flattering  terms  by  the  old  maid,  cast  an  imploring  look 
at  Walter,  who  understood  its  meaning. 

"  Since  it  has  become  fashionable  for  old  bucks  of  my 
years  to  marry,"  said  the  colonel,  winking  at  Griselda,"  I 
think  I  must  fall  in  too.  And  I  don't  know  a  better  match 
for  me  than  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle." 

After  the  laughter  which  followed  the  serious  expressions 
of  the  colonel,  while  delivering  his  speech,  had  subsided, 
Walter  remarked  that  he  was  very  sorry  the  colonel  had  not 
announced  his  intention  a  few  days  sooner. 

"  Why  so,  sir  ?"  demanded  the  colonel.  "  Is  your  aunt 
so  beset  with  admirers  that  a  few  days  sooner  or  later  can 
make  any  difference  in  one's  prospects  ?  " 

"  I  am  sorry  to  say  they  can.  My  aunt  has  selected 
another." 

"  Walter  !  "  cried  his  mother  and  sister. 

"  It  is  true.  She  is  to  be  married ;  she  says  so  herself, 
and  does  not  impose  secrecy  on  me." 

After  this  announcement  Griselda  departed,  and  was  con 
ducted  to  the  carriage  by  the  gallant  colonel,  who,  however, 
returned  to  speak  with  Walter. 

"  Are  you  really  serious?  "  he  asked,  on  re-entering,  and 
seeing  the  widow  and  Lucy  eagerly  perusing  the  letter. 

"  Never  more  so  in  my  life,  I  assure  you.  And  now  that 
my  other  aunt  has  left  us,  perhaps  my  mother  will  not  object 
to  having  the  letter  read  aloud  for  the  entertainment  of  the 
company." 

"  By  no  means,  Walter,"  said  the  widow.  "  But  it  is 
true,  sir;  she  announces  her  purpose  of  marrying." 

"  I  am  sorry  for  it  upon  my  life,"  said  the  colonel,  "  for  I 
hoped  her  fortune  without  obstruction  or  encumbrance  would 
descend  to  Walter  and  his  sister.  Surely  the  old  folks  are  as 
mad  as  Napoleon  Winkle's  bull.  When  do  you  visit  the  city, 
Walter  ?  » 

"  To-morrow,  sir." 

"  Then  bring  home  Virginia.  Tell  her  I  am  getting  fret 
ful,  living  alone.  And  remember  to  prepare  your  speech  for 


158  THE  WINKLES. 

the  great  meeting.  I  will  have  all  the  rich  men  of  the 
county  there,  and  we'll  see  if  we  can't  surfeit  these  fierce  re 
formers.  Good  day." 

After  the  colonel  had  departed  the  widow  and  Lucy  retired 
for  a  brief  space  to  peruse  the  letter  more  carefully.  It  was 
truly  a  characteristic  one.  "Isolated,"  she  said,  "from  all 
family  connections,  influences  and  endearments,  by  the  late 
ill-assorted  and  most  disgraceful  match,  which  I  alone  de 
nounced,  there  is  no  other  alternative  but  for  me  to  establish 
new  connections,  and  to  seek  other  associates,  who  will  better 
appreciate  the  importance  of  family  standing,  and  more  rigidly 
conform  to  the  rules  and  requirements  of  good  society.  I 
shall  therefore  turn  my  back  upon  all  my  kindred,  and  cease 
to  know  any  of  those  who  approved  or  sanctioned  my  brother's 
foolish  marriage  with  that  impudent  hussy.  My  deceased 
brother,  your  noble  father,  had,  I  think,  the  largest  share  of 
my  father's  fortune,  and  I  suppose  your  mother  is  amply  pro 
vided  with  money — although  I  don't  pretend  to  know  any 
thing  about  such  matters.  I  can't  tell  what  I  possess  myself, 
and  never  bother  my  head  about  it.  I  suppose  if  one  has  a 
fortune,  and  don't  throw  it  away,  it  still  remains.  I  have 
not  thrown  mine  away,  and  never  will.  If  your  mother  has 
dissipated  hers,  she  was  a  fool  for  it,  and  should  suffer  for  her 
folly.  I  hope  the  impudent  Gusset  will  scatter  her  fraudu 
lently  acquired  fortune,  and  so  lead  my  silly  brother  Napoleon 
to  repentance.  I  hope  she  will  lead  him  by  the  nose. 

"  If  I  see  so  plainly  the  imprudence  of  such  disgraceful 
matches  in  others,  you  may  suppose  I  shall  be  careful  to  avoid 
falling  into  the  like  silly  practices  myself.  It  is  true  I  intend 
to  marry.  My  nuptials  will  be  celebrated  some  time  during 
the  present  year.  But  the  man  of  my  choice  will  be  a  gentle 
man  of  distinction — a  genius  of  celebrity.  You  know  him, 
Walter — Mr.  Pollen,  the  poet.  If  he  is  poor — if  he  has  been 
sometimes,  as  you  informed  me,  without  a  shirt — that  is  no 
disgrace.  How  was  it  with  Chatterton,  Defoe,  and  even 
Milton  himself?  And  what  lady  in  the  world  would  not 
have  been  honored  by  being  the  wife  of  a  Chatterton,  a  Defoe, 
a  Milton  1  Shame  upon  the  ladies  who  permitted  them  to 
languish  in  poverty !  I  will  set  an  example  for  the  wealthy 
ladies  to  follow  hereafter.  Genius  is  the  very  highest  kind  of 
aristocracy,  because  it  cannot  be  conferred  by  mortal  man,  nor 
taken  away  even  by  the  detracting  tongue  of  women.  Fare- 


A   LETTER    FROM   WILSOME.  159 

well,  Present  my  adieus  to  your  mother  and  Lucy.  We 
will  not  meet  again,  unless  it  be  accidentally,  and  then  it  is 
probable  there  will  be  no  recognition  on  my  part,  and  I  desire 
there  shall  be  none  on  yours.  You  may  say  to  Mr.  Lowe  that 
a  visit  from  him  would  be  agreeable  to  me  I  believe  him  to 
be  a  gentleman,  and  would  have  no  objections  to  his  society, 
if  he  could  answer  one  or  two  questions  satisfactorily.  You 
may  say  to  him  that  although  I  am  resolved  to  marry,  I  don't 
expect  to  feel  what  the  silly  girls  call  a  romantic  passion  for 
any  man.  I  don't  believe  in  any  such  nonsense.  I  want  a 
partner  at  whist  as  much  as  any  thing  else. 

"  And  now,  I  care  nothing  for  what  the  world  may  say.  I 
despise  the  world,  as  a  Christian  should. 

"  Your  Aunt, 

lt  WILSOME  WINKLE. 

"  P.  S.  I  have,  since  writing  the  above,  received  one  of  the 
most  beseeching  letters  I  ever  read  in  my  life  from  Ralf  Ro 
land.  He  begs  me  to  conciliate  Lucy  in  his  behalf.  Roland 
is  rich,  and  may  be  a  congressman.  What  does  Lucy  want  ? 
Tell  her  J  approve  the  match.  It  is  true  Roland's  father 
came  dangling  around  me  when  I  was  a  simpering  miss,  and  I 
believe  my  father  kicked  him  out  of  doors,  for  some  nonsense 
or  other,  I  never  knew  exactly  what,  and  was  too  young  to 
understand  the  meaning  at  the  time.  But  he  was  a  fine  per 
sonable  man,  and  rich — and  I  am  sure  your  grandfather  must 
have  been  difficult  to  please.  It  it  true  Roland  was  a  rake — 
but  any  wife  of  spirit  ought  to  be  able  to  correct  that.  It  is 
besides  a  vice  peculiar  to  the  aristocracy.  Tell  Lucy,  if  she 
will  be  sociable  with  Roland,  and  hear  my  speeches  in  his 
favor,  she  may  come  to  my  house  and  remain  as  a  favored 
niece  until  her  decision  is  formed.  If  she  marries  Roland, 
she  will  afterwards  have  access  to  my  society.  If  not,  she 
can  return  and  be  henceforth  a  stranger. 

"  Farewell, 

"W.  W. 

"  P.  P.  S.  While  writing  the  last  line,  a  decayed  tooth  in 
my  under  jaw  broke  off,  and  all  the  rest  fell  out.  You  see 
how  they  blotted  the  paper.  I  must  go  to  the  dentist  and 
have  the  root  extracted — and  I  must  not  go  alone.  Come 


160  THE  WINKLES. 

down  immediately,  Walter,  and  accompany  me.     You  will  be 
my  guest  as  formerly  until  I  am  done  with  you. 

"  W.  W." 

Mrs.  Winkle  laughed  heartily  at  the  letter,  while  Lucy 
was  vexed  and  thoughtful. 

In  the  parlor,  George  Parke  was  entertaining  Walter  with 
an  account  of  Snobson's  dereliction,  which  was  in  part  owing 
to  the  deteriorating  insinuations  of  the  Arums  and  Crudles. 

"  Lucy  won't  grieve.  She  saw  to  the  bottom  of  his  shal 
low  pate  at  a  glance,"  said  Walter.  "  But  if  he  repeats  any 
of  the  slanders  of  the  Arums " 

"  He  will  be  careful  not  to  do  that,"  said  Parke,  "  for  he 
is  continually  hoping  you  will  not  take  offence,  and  begging 
me  to  explain  and  apologize  for  him.  But  he  is  high  in  favor 
with  the  sisters.  In  their  eagerness  to  captivate  him,  I  saw 
them  pouting  and  making  mouths  at  each  other.  No  doubt 
when  alone  they  pull  each  other's  hair.  Poor  Snobson  !  they'll 
sing  him  and  talk  him  to  death ;  and  if  they  should  require 
any  assistance  their  mother  will  aid  them.  I  don't  think  he 
can  escape." 

"  I  hope  not,"  said  Walter,  seriously.  "  But  how  did  the 
Crudles  serve  you  ?  " 

"  Oh,  they  found  out  that  my  grandfather  was  Vice  Presi 
dent  of  the  United  States,  and  my  father  a  Senator  in  Con 
gress,  and  they  seemed  to  be  enchanted.  I  was  perfumed 
with  their  curls,  dazzled  with  their  diamonds,  and  ravished 
with  the  beauty  of  the  worked  borders  of  their  petticoats,  of 
which  I  had  continued  glimpses.  They  know  exactly  when  I 
will  graduate,  and  having  unwittingly  told  them  my  age  upon 
entering  college,  they  have  calculated  how  old  I  will  be  when 
I  leave  it." 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !    Poor  fellow  !  " 

"  I  can't  decide  which  is  the  most  agreeable ;  and  you 
know  I  can't  have  them  both,  unless  I  join  the  Mormons. 
Oh,  you  would  laugh  to  hear  them  ridicule  the  Snobsons ! 
Their  own  pa,  they  say,  is  vastly  richer  than  the  broker,  and 
will  some  day  do  nothing  but  live  on  the  interest  of  his  money. 
Poor  creatures  !  They  need  not  fear  but  they  can  have  hus 
bands.  Their  attractions  will  secure  them  lovers.  I  hope 
they  may  find  honest  men,  who  will  take  care  of  the  wealth 
their  enterprising  father  amassed  in  the  shop." 


IN    THE   MIDST    OF    A   QUABKEL.  161 

Walter's  mother  and  sister  interrupted  the  conversation 
at  this  point.  And  in  reply  to  an  inquiry  from  the  former, 
Walter  announced  his  determination  to  visit  the  city  that 
evening — not  so  much,  as  he  confessed,  to  oblige  his  aunt,  as 
to  comply  with  the  order  of  Colonel  Oakdale.  And  both  he 
and  George  Parke  set  out  for  the  city  in  the  late  boat. 


CHAPTER    XV. 

WALTEE'S  CUEIOUb  QTJAEEEL  WITH  VIEGINIA— A  STEOLL  WITH  THE 
POET— THE  JEW-LOVE  AND  LAUGHTEE— THE  DENTIST. 

UPON  reaching  the  city  Walter  and  his  young  friend  proceeded 
first  to  the  residence  of  Dr.  Nitre,  as  the  most  attractive 
point,  and  not  doubting  that  Miss  Wilsonie  would  remain  in 
tact  until  the  former  should  find  it  convenient  to  wait  upon 
her.  The  latter  had  determined  to  depart  in  the  evening  train 
for  the  college,  where  he  learned  there  were  letters  awaiting 
him,  and  he  desired  to  pay  his  respects  to  the  young  ladies 
before  setting  out.  And  Walter  wished  his  attendance  so 
that  Julia  might  be  entertained  while  he  conferred  with  Vir 
ginia,  whose  failure  to  write  him  as  usual,  and  as  had  been 
agreed  upon  between  them,  rendered  him  apprehensive  that 
something  injurious  to  his  interests  had  occurred  during  his 
absence. 

When  they  were  ushered  into  the  parlor,  they  found  only 
the  doctor  and  his  good  lady,  who  had  just  been  engaged  in 
one  of  those  little  episodes  in  married  life,  called  family  quar 
rels,  which  will  still  happen  occasionally  in  the  best  regulated 
establishments. 

"  Oh,  I'm  glad  to  see  you  !  "  cried  Mrs.  Nitre.  Your  ar 
rival  is  most  opportune." 

"  Hush,  madam  !  "  said  the  doctor,  aside,  after  heartily 
shaking  the  hands  of  the  young  men. 

"  No — no,  doctor,"  continued  she,  "  I  want  the  young 
gentlemen  to  know  what  a  singular,  selfish,  abstracted  man 
you  are." 

"  Deuce  take  her  !  "  whispered  Walter,  "  she's  abusing  her 
husband  again  before  her  guests  !  " 


162  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Just  think  of  it !  "  said  she — "  Here  we  have  had  Vir 
ginia,  I  don't  know  how  long,  and  no  party — no  visitors  !  And 
Dr.  Nitre's  practice  worth  five  thousand  dollars  per  annum  i 
No  one  visits  us.  No  respect  is  paid  to  our  niece,  and  simply 
because  the  doctor  won't  encourage  people  to  come." 

"  My  dear,  I  forget  every  thing  else  when  treating  my 
patients." 

11  That's  it !  he  confesses  his  culpable  neglect.  Don't  you 
think  it  a  great  shame,  Walter  ?  " 

"  No,  upon  my  word  !  I  am  not  at  all  sorry  to  hear  Vir 
ginia  has  been  secluded  from  society." 

"  I'll  tell  her !  But  you  agree  with  me,  don't  you  Mr. 
Parke?" 

"  Most  certainly,  madam." 

"  I  thought  so  !  Now,  Dr.  Nitre— well !  he's  gone  !  "  The 
doctor  had  slipped  away,  winking  at  Walter. 

"  May  we  not  have  the  pleasure  of  seeing  the  ladies  ?  " 
asked  Walter.  "  I  hope  they  are  at  home." 

"  Oh  yes.  Of  course  they  are  at  home.  They  would 
never  be  guilty  of  paying  the  first  visit !  Did  you  come  in 
your  aunt's  carriage.  If  so  we'll  have  a  nice  moonlight  drive, 
and  make  the  doctor  take  his  tea  alone.  No  ?  I'm  sorry  for 
it.  But  we  shall  have  a  promenade.  I'll  send  down  the  girls 
immediately." 

Shortly  after  Mrs.  Nitre's  departure  Virginia  and  Julia 
appeared — the  latter  in  gay  spirits — the  other  rather  grave. 
But  as  had  been  agreed  upon  between  the  young  men,  Julia's 
attention  was  at  this  time  engrossed  by  the  southern  student, 
and  Walter  succeeded  in  detaching  Virginia  from  her  cousin. 

"  I  have  not  received  a  letter  since  we  parted,"  said  Wal 
ter,  in  a  low  voice. 

"  For  the  reason  that  it  was  not  written,"  was  replied 
promptly,  if  not  pettishly. 

"  But  was  there  any  good  reason  for  not  writting  ?  I  am 
sure  I  wrote  twice.  I  hope  they  were  received." 

"  They  were  received,  sir.  Here  they  are,  unopened." 
And  she  placed  them  in  his  hand. 

"  Virginia  !     What  have  I  done  to  deserve  this  ?  " 

"Enough." 

"  And  will  you  not  tell  me  ?  " 

"  Have  you  not  been  in  the  habit  of  exhibiting  my  letters, 
and  even  giving  them  away  ?  " 


A    MYSTERY.  163 

"  No !  Upon  my  soul,  I  have  never  been  guilty  of  any 
such  baseness." 

"  I  suppose  it  would  be  denied.  But  what  is  a  mere  de 
nial " 

"I'll  swear  to  it " 

"  No — don't !  Pause.  I  say  what  is  a  denial,  or  even  an 
oath,  against  the  evidence  of  one's  own  eyes  ?  " 

"  Your  own  eyes  !  Virginia         " 

"  Call  me  Miss  Oakdale,  Mr.  Winkle." 

"  If  any  other  person's  eyes  were  to  bear  such  testimony, 
I  would  pronounce  them  false,  perfidious,  perjured " 

"  Stop,  sir  !  We'll  see.  Another  person's  eyes  shall  bear 
witness  with  mine.  I  suppose  you  will  believe  your  own  eyes. 
Here,"  she  continued,  drawing  another  letter  from  her  pocket 
— "'here  is  one  of  my  letters,  which  I  received  from  the  hands 
of  a  certain  young  lady,  with  whom  I  am  informed  you  have 
but  a  slight  acquaintance.  Do  you  recognize  it  ?  " 

Walter  gazed  in  utter  astonishment  at  the  familiar  super 
scription. 

"  I  would  forswear  my  own  eyes,"  said  he,  "  if  they  alone 
beheld  it.  But,  Virginia " 

"  Miss  Oakdale,  Mr.  Winkle,"  she  interposed. 

"  But  there  is  some  mystery  here,  which  must  be  explained. 
I  never,  so  help  me  Heaven,  gave  that  letter  to  any  young  lady, 
or  to  any  one  else.  I  thought  it  was  locked  up  at  home " 

"  Oh  yes  !  And  you  asserted  that  they  were  kept  next  to 
your  heart !  " 

"  It  must  have  been  so  !  It  must  have  dropped  from  my 
breast." 

"  Then  it  was  time  to  cease  writing  to  so  careless  a  cor 
respondent.  But  there  is  no  proof  that  you  lost  it ;  and  you 
must  pardon  me  for  demanding  a  satisfactory  explanation.  I 
had  it  from  the  hands  of  a  young  lady  who  came  for  the  pur 
pose  of  returning  it  to  me.  I  did  not  know  her.  She  did 
not  stay  to  be  interrogated.  That  is  all  I  know.  You  should 
know  the  rest." 

u  I  know  no  more  of  that  young  lady,  or  'how  she  obtained 
the  letter,  unless  she  picked  it  up  in  the  street — or  robbed  my 
escritoire — than — than •" 

"  Whom  ?  you  are  at  a  loss  for  a  figure  of  speech.  But 
no  matter.  You  will  have  an  abundance  of  leisure  to  investi- 


164  THE   WINKLES. 

gate  the  subject.  In  the  mean  time  write  me  no  more  letters, 
but  return  those  received  from  me." 

"  Are  you  serious,  Virginia  ?  ?) 

"  Miss  Oakdale,  Mr.  Winkle ;  I  am,  and  if  you  do  not  obey 
me,  I  will  never  speak  to  you  again." 

11  You  will  let  me  have  them  again,  if  the  unlucky  appear 
ance  of  this  one  be  satisfactorily  accounted  for  ?  " 

"  I  promise  nothing.  Then  I  shall  not  be  obnoxious  to 
the  charge  of  falsehood.  Expect  nothing,  and  you  cannot  be 
unpleasantly  disappointed.  Be  satisfied  that  I  permit  you  to 
attempt  a  vindication." 

"  But  in  the  mean  time " 

"  All  is  suspended." 

"  But  your  father  directed  me  to  conduct  you  home." 

"  He  shall  be  obeyed.     When  do  we  set  out  ?  " 

"  I  can't  say,  until  I  see  my  aunt  who  sent  for  me." 

"  If  she  sent  for  you,  why  did  you  come  here  first  ?  " 

"  I  loved  you  more  than  my  duty " 

"  I  believed  you  once." 

"  And  I  wanted  an  explanation  of  the  cause  why  you  had 
not  written." 

"  You  have  it.  Now  go.  I  will  explain  to  my  aunt.  She 
takes  it  for  granted  you  will  remain,  and  will  insist  upon  it  if 
she  sees  you  again.  When  you  are  ready  to  return  to  Babble- 
ton  call  for  me — not  before." 

"  Walter,"  said  Parke,  rising,  and  looking  at  his  watch, 
"  I  must  go,  or  the  cars  will  leave  me.  I  will,  if  possible,  run 
down  to  the  village  next  week  to  hear  your  speech." 

"  And  /  should  like  to  hear  it,"  said  Julia,  exchanging 
glances  with  Parke. 

"  You  are  to  return  with  me,  you  know,"  said  Virginia, 
"  and  aunt  is  to  spend  a  week  at  Cape  May." 

The  young  gentlemen  departed,  one  for  the  depot,  the  other 
for  the  Winkle  mansion. 

Walter  was  admitted  just  as  his  aunt  and  her  affianced, 
Mr.  Pollen,  were  siting  down  to  tea.  His  aunt,  dressed  in  her 
usual  fantastical  style,  applauded  his  promptitude  of  obe 
dience,  and  said  she  had  not  expected  his  arrival  before  the 
next  morning.  But  she  was  glad  to  see  so  ready  a  response 
to  her  summons.  Pollen  greeted  his  young  friend  very  cordially, 
and  thanked  him  for  the  loan  of  his  shirt,  adding  that  he  was 
now  provided  with  an  abundance  of  his  own.  He  then  repeat- 


THE  AUTHOR'S  FATE.  165 

ed  to  Miss  Wilsome,  the  particulars  of  their  nocturnal  adven 
ture  at  the  Jew's  den,  at  which  she  laughed  very  heartily. 

"  Such  incidents  in  the  lives  of  men  of  genius,"  said  Wil- 
some,  "  are  the  most  interesting  portions  of  their  history.  And 
I  shall  insist  upon  having  your  biography,  dictated  by  your 
self.  I  will  hire  an  amanuensis  for  that  purpose." 

Pollen  bowed  in  grateful  acknowledgment,  and  really  con 
sidered  the  words  she  had  spoken,  when  he  thought  of  the  posi 
tion  and  the  wealth  of  the  person  uttering  them,  as  one  of  the 
most  felicitous  speeches  which  had  ever  been  addressed  to  him, 
and  if  such  a  thing  had  been  possible,  he  would  doubtless  have 
fallen  in  love  with  her. 

"  Employ  me,  aunt,"  said  Walter.  "  I  am  idle,  and  want 
(something  to  do.  Indeed  I  must  do  something  to  make  a 
living." 

"  To  make  a  living  !  Your  father's  fortune  was  ample. 
He  couldn't  take  it  with  him.  Pooh — nonsense — the  Win 
kles  are  rich.  Nevertheless,  if  you  should  be  competent,  and 
would  undertake  the  task " 

"  I  will  answer  for  my  ability  to  do  him  justice,"  said 
Walter — "  and  my  lively  and  discriminating  aunt  shall  figure 
advantageously  in  the  work.  Oh,  you  shall  be  handed  down 
to  posterity !  " 

"  And  she  shall  be  !  "  said  Pollen,  his  fine  pale  face  beam 
ing  with  animation.  "  Authors  are  generally  poor,  They 
live  in  poverty,  and  die  in  destitution.  Then  the  literary 
scavengers  pick  their  rags  from  the  gutter,  and  thousands 
with  more  dollars  than  brains  are  startled  at  the  tale  of 
their  indigence  and  suffering,  and  lament  they  had  not  met  with 
and  relieved  them,  and  thus  linked  their  names  with  immor 
tality.  They  too,  die — they  must  die — and  I  fear  they  are 
d d.  But  they  are  not  remembered  by  the  next  genera 
tion,  while  the  works  of  the  starved,  the  contemned,  the  insult 
ed  poet,  are  decked  in  gilt  morocco,  and  placed  upon  the  gor 
geous  centre-tables  of  the  rich  and  the  fashionable !  Yes, 
Miss  Winkle,  your  name,  as  one  of  the  discerning  few,  will 
not  be  swallowed  up  in  the  dark  jaws  of  unrelenting  oblivi 
on.  They  may  call  you  eccentric,  imprudent,  mad,  if  they 
please,  but  you  possessed  the  noble  generosity,  the  divine 
impulse  of  charity,  to  relieve  the  distress  of  one  whose  works 
have  been  pronounced  the  emanations  of  genius.  No,  madam  ! 
In  future  years,  whenever  the  name  of  Harold  Pollen  is 


166  THE   WINKLES. 

mentioned,  yours  will  be  referred  to  as  the  angel  in  human 
form  who  rescued  him  from  destruction.  Recollect  what 
was  said  of  Homer : — 

"  'Seven  Grecian  cities  strove  for  Homer  dead, 

Through  which  the  living  Homer  begged  his  bread.'  " 

Walter  watched  his  aunt  closely.  There  was  a  twinkle  of 
the  eye  which  portended  a  tear,  and  he  had  often  heard  it  said 
that  she  was  incapable  of  shedding  one.  She  lifted  her  hand 
kerchief  with  the  utmost  care,  and  applied  it  slightly  to  the 
lower  lash,  and  above  the  paint.  But  the  spasmodic  quiver 
satisfied  him  that  she  was  not  devoid  of  noble  emotions. 

"  That  speech,"  said  Walter,  "  shall  be  interpolated  in  the 
book." 

"  I  see  you  are  laughing  at  me,  Walter  ! "  said  his  aunt. 
"  So,  for  fear  that  some  of  your  own  nonsense  may  be  added, 
I  shall  look  over  the  proof-sheets  myself." 

"  Why,  aunt,  I  understand  they  are  to  be  his  posthumous 
memoirs ;  and  you  can  have  no  reasonable  expectation  of  sur 
viving  him." 

"She  may,"  said  Pollen;  "it  would  be  no  unreasonable 
expectation.  I  have  seen  my  end.  It  is  not  in  the  distant 
future." 

"  Pooh  !  Nonsense  !  Change  the  subject,"  said  Miss 
Wilsome.  "  How  dare  you  start  such  a  dismal  topic,  Walter  ? 
Sip  your  tea  sir,  and  then  if  nothing  else  occurs,  we  will  have 
a  rubber." 

"  Not  to-night,  aunt.  Mr.  Pollen  and  I  have  an  appoint 
ment " 

"  So  we  have,"  said  the  poet,  quickly.  "  But  we  will  en 
deavor  to  be  back  in  time  for  a  game." 

u  If  you  have  an  appointment,  it  must  be  kept,"  said  Miss 
Wilsome,  "  and  I  presume  it  is  not  my  privilege  to  demand 
the  nature  of  it,  or  to  suggest  that  it  might  be  postponed." 

"It  might  be  postponed,"  said  Walter,  "if  I  were  not 
compelled  to  return  to  Babbleton  before  another  night." 

"  Why  are  you  compelled  to  return  ?  "  asked  his  aunt. 

"  Because  I  promised  Col.  Oakdale  to  conduct  Virginia 
home  to-morrow,  if  you  did  not  see  proper  to  detain  me 
longer." 

"  Perhaps  I  will  see  proper  to  do  so.     So  you  may  be  here 


167 

another  night,  if  I  desiro  it.  But  you  will  not  tako  Virginia 
back  with  you." 

"Why,  aunt?" 

"  I  won't  tell  you — just  now.  I  may,  if  you  return  in 
time.  Oh  it  was  a  fine  adventure.  T  found  it  out,  sir  !  Take 
care  of  your  hair,  when  you  meet  Virginia.  I  warn  you 
against  her  talons.  I  could  dispel  the  mystery,  however,  and 
enable  you  to  explain  satisfactorily.  But  if  she  laughed  as 
heartily  as  I  have  done,  there  might  be  danger  of  a  rupture 
of  a  blood-vessel." 

"  Aunt !  "  said  Walter,  «  I  will  remain,  if " 

"  Go  about  your  business !  I  don't  believe  you  have  any 
other  engagement  than  a  desire  to  smoke  a  cigar.  Go — and 
make  haste  back." 

Pollen  and  Walter  departed  immediately,  the  latter  won 
dering  what  adventure  and  mystery  his  aunt  had  referred  to, 
and  if  it  had  any  connection  with  the  origin  of  Virginia's  dis 
pleasure. 

"  Do  not  be  cast  down,"  said  Pollen,  supposing  Walter's 
abstraction  to  proceed  from  the  change  in  his  prospects  since 
the  marriage  of  his  uncle.  "  Your  aunt  has  informed  me  of 
the  ridiculous  choice  of  your  uncle,  and  of  her  displeasure,  and 
determination  to  cast  off  every  member  of  her  family  who 
failed  to  take  umbrage  at  it.  She  has  even  expressed  an 
intention  to  marry ;  and  if  such  a  thing  should  ever  hap 
pen " 

"  Should  ever  happen !  "  exclaimed  Walter,  in  amazement. 
"  Do  you  not  know  it  will  happen?  " 

"  I  ?  Certainly  not.  All  I  know  about  it  is,  that  she  has 
expressed  such  a  purpose  several  times.  I  was  silent.  I  did 
not  choose  to  manifest  any  dissent  from  such  an  idea,  though 
I  thought  it  strange,  since  she  has  taken  me  into  her  favor, 
that  she  never  intimated  who  was  to  be  the  happy  man." 

"  Is  it  possible  ?  " 

"  It  is  as  I  tell  you.     Do  you  know  him?  " 

"  Thou  art  the  man !  "  said  Walter,  placing  his  hand  on 
the  poet's  shoulder. 

"Me?     No.     It  is  a  mistake." 

"  It  is  no  mistake.  She  has  informed  me  of  it  herself.  It 
is  strange,  however,  that  she  should  have  withheld  the  infor 
mation  from  you — you,  who  must  certainly  be  as  deeply  inter 
ested  in  the  matter  as  any  one.  But  you  know  the  manner 


168  THE   WINKLES. 

of  my  imperious  aunt.  You  have  been  complacent  in  every 
thing  else,  and  to  oppose  her  will  in  this,  is  what  she  has  not 
conceived  to  be  possible." 

"  She  shall  soon  be  undeceived,  then !  Had  I  not  be&n 
blind  and  stupid,  I  might  have  suspected  something  of  the  sort 
was  meant !  But  who  could  have  supposed  that  one  old 
enough  to  be  my  mother — one,  no  matter  !  Return  with  me, 
until  I  open  her  eyes.  Marry  your  aunt,  and  defraud  the 
proper  heir  !  I  would  rather  starve  in  the  street !  No,  no. 
I  have  observed  the  injustice  and  misery  of  such  alliances,  and 
will  never  be  guilty  of  that  which  I  have  condemned  in  others. 
Let  us  return  1 " 

'  "  No !  "  said   Walter — "  do   not  yet   undeceive  her.     It 
might  kill  her  ;  or  it  might  make  her  your  enemy." 

''  Is  it  true  there  is  no  such  thing  as  disinterested  friend 
ship  on  earth  ?  I  thought  she  had  selected  me  as  the  object 
of  her  bounty,  because  she  believed  I  had  merit,  and  because 
the  rest  of  mankind  had  combined  to  sink  me  with  their  neg 
lect.  I  deemed  her  brave  in  opposing  the  world,  and  nobly 
generous  in  assuming  an  object  of  odium,  one  with  whom  no 
human  being  sympathized,  from  despair  and  destruction. 
After  all,  her  motive  was  merely  to  obtain  a  husband  !  " 

u  Men  and  women  were  made  to  marry,"  said  Walter. 
"  There  was  no  harm  in  that." 

"  But  women  were  not  designed  to  marry  their  grandsons  ! 
However,  it  was  never  my  design  to  be  a  permanent  pen 
sioner.  I  hoped  to  repay  her  favors,  and  hope  so  still.  I  am 
in  her  debt.  She  has  satisfied  my  creditors ;  clothed  and  fed 
me.  I  owe  her  so  many  dollars,  and  perhaps  some  gratitude. 
Thank  Heaven,  hope  is  not  extinct  in  my  bosom,  or  else  an  im 
penetrable  darkness  would  prevail.  I  have  two  volumes  ready 
for  the  press,  and  a  single  one  ere  this  has  repaired  a  man's 
fortune  and  made  him  an  undying  name.  My  name  has  been 
won.  No  earthly  power  can  annihilate  it.  And  if  only  one 
or  two  of  the  daily  papers  would  say  what  they  honestly  think 
of  the  merits  of  my  works,  there  would  be  purchasers  enough 
to  lift  me  above  the  reach  of  the  talons  of  want.  If  such  a 
thing  should  happen,  I  will  reimburse  your  aunt " 

"  No — you  will  do  no  such  thing,"  said  Walter.  "  She 
would  not  receive  your  money.  She  would  deny  that  she  ever 
expended  any  for  your  benefit.  No  doubt  she  has  forgotten 
all  about  it.  She  is  not  mercenary — but  she  is  Wilsome.  If 


A   VISIT    TO    THE   JEW.  169 

you  break  with  her,  she  will  abuse  you — but  she  will  never  al 
lude  to  any  advances  of  money.  On  the  contrary,  if  the  rup 
ture  be  not  so  violent  as  to  make  her  forget  she  has  a  purse,  it 
is  quite  likely  that  after  denouncing  you,  she  will  share  it  with 
you,  and  then  dismiss  you  with  her  curse." 

"  I  would  rather  have  one's  curses,  for  dissatisfaction  with 
my  person,  my  manners,  my  mere  caprices — and  if  it  be  a  lux 
ury  I  have  long  enjoyed  it — than  bear  the  scorpion  stings  of 
just  reproaches — reproaches  for  having  perpetrated  a  decep 
tion  ;  or  for  having  failed  to  recognize  the  claims  of  a  son  of 

genius,  who  perished  from  neglect,  for " 

"  Pardon  me  for  interrupting  you,  But  whither  do  we 
go?" 

"  Fate  has  led  us  towards  the  den  of  Abraham  Laban.  the 
Jew." 

"  And  we  will  enter  and  try  our  fortunes.  We  may  know 
whether  there  be  any  good  thing  in  store  for  us,  from  his  anx 
iety  to  rob  us  of  the  greater  portion  of  it.  If  he  be  not 
disposed  to  treat  with  us — then,  indeed,  the  prospect  is  gloomy. 
But  Pollen,  in  regard  to  this  curious  aunt  of  mine,  will  you 
listen  to  reason  ?  " 
"  Yes— a  little." 

"  Then  do  not  break  with  her  abruptly.  Do  not  absolutely 
decline  her  offers.  Postpone  the  time  of  separation,  if  you 
cannot  wed  her,  and  must  separate.  She  is  enormously  rich, 
and  does  not  spend  one  tenth  of  her  income.  It  could  not 
be  better  bestowed  than  on  you.  Both  gold  and  genius  are 
given  by  our  Maker,  and  the  one  should  be  subservient  to  the 
other.  She  may  abuse  you  when  you  part,  revile  you  when 
severed,  but  will  never  cease  to  luxuriate  in  the  remembrance 
that  she  once  entertained  a  poet  under  her  roof.  And  the 
more  she  expends  on  you  the  happier  will  she  be.  It  will  be 
the  most  sensible  expenditure  she  could  make,  and  afford  her 
the  most  satisfaction  when  she  reflects  upon  it  afterwards. 
She  will  never  reckon  the  amount  expended,  and  therefore  my 
advice  is  that  you  do  not  neglect  the  present  opportunity  of 
partaking  of  her  liberality.  Undoubtedly  she  will  resent 
your  abandonment  of  her  ;  but  rely  upon  it,  she  will  never 
permit  any  one  else  to  censure  you.  I  know  her  well.  On 
the  contrary  she  will  denounce  all  her  rich  friends  for  not 
dividing  their  fortunes  with  you." 

"  Walter !  you  almost  persuade  me  to  marry  her.     For 

8 


170  THE   WINKLES. 

my  own  part,  I  might  be  contented  to  do  so ;  but  the  world, 
posterity,  would  attribute  unworthy  motives — and — I  will 
not  do  it !  That  is  my  irreversible  decision.  But  I  will  not 
break  with  her  abruptly." 

"  Enough.  Now  let  us  enter  the  Hebrew's  infernal  re 
gions." 

They  were  admitted  by  the  ministering  young  girl  the  Jew 
employed  in  the  capacity  of  door-keeper,  that  she  might  seem 
to  have  an  honest  occupation. 

Abraham  now  bestowed  the  most  of  his  cordiality  on  the 
poet,  to  his  infinite  surprise. 

"  We  come  to  have  our  fortunes  told,"  said  Walter,  occu 
pying,  unbidden,  a  chair. 

"  Told  down,  I  suppose,"  said  the  Jew.  "  It  is  the  way 
with  all.  It  is  astonishing  that  so  many  hundreds  rely  upon 
me  for  fortunes,  and  at  the  same  time  condemn  me  for  my 
gains.  Yet,  how  could  I  furnish  so  many  with  money,  if  I 
did  not  derive  it  from  others  ?  If  I  did  not  reap  profits,  my 
purse  would  soon  be  exhausted,  and  then  the  Jew  could  assist 
no  one.  Blind,  ungrateful  fools  !  " 

"  And  that's  as  true  as  any  speech  Shylock  ever  made. 
But  Abraham,  you  were  disposed  a  short  time  since  to  ad 
vance  me  money  on  my  bond." 

"  A  short  time  since.  Well,  I  was.  But  a  short  time 
after  makes  a  great  difference.  At  two  o'clock  a  man  is  rich 
— at  three  a  bankrupt.  Your  uncle  marries.  His  wife  will 
become  his  heir  in  the  will  she  will  cause  him  to  sign.  Your 
bond  would  be  worthless." 

"  Nevertheless,  Abraham,  you  will  acknowledge  your  pre 
science  was  at  fault.  •  You  might  have  been  a  loser  by  the 
operation." 

"I  acknowledge  no  such  thing." 

"You  do  not?" 

"  No.     I  would  have  forbidden  the  bans." 

"  And  what  good  would  that  have  done  1 " 

"  I  mean  that  the  wedding  would  not  have  taken  place, 
unless  it  was  a  match  decreed  by  the  Jesuits.  I  rarely  fail  in 
my  calculations.  There  would  have  been  abundant  means  of 
preventing  the  marriage." 

"  I  wish  you  had  done  so." 

"  It  is  too  late,  now.  It  might  have  been  better  for  us 
both,  if  you  had  borrowed  money  on  your  bond.  I  would 


THE    POET    ASTONISHED. 

have  been  a  gainer,  and  would  have  been  abused — by  the 
Christians.  But  why  should  not  you  and  I  enjoy  your  uncle's 
treasure  as  well  as  Gusset  1  Ha,  ha,  ha !  The  Jew  has  as 
much  right  to  pick  up  gold  as  another  person.  And  in  this 
instance  he  would  have  served  the  rightful  heir.  But  no  more. 
That  account  is  closed." 

"  And  mine  was  never  opened,"  said  Pollen. 

"  The  time  had  not  yet  arrived,"  said  the  Jew,  with  a  most 
conciliating  smile. 

"  It  had,  though !  "  said  the  poet.  "  You  declined  to 
treat  for  my  poem.  Since  then,  it  has  realized  me  some — 
some " 

"  Four  hundred  and  twenty-five  dollars,"  said  the  Jew. 

"  How  the  d — 1  did  you  know  ?  "  asked  Pollen,  quickly, 
for  the  computation  was  just. 

"  No  matter.  It  is  my  business  to  know.  I  will  not  ex 
plain  the  means.  To  me  the  manuscript  would  have  been 
worthless.  Hence  you  see  the  importance  of  placing  your 
productions  in  the  proper  hands.  Every  thing  depends  upon 
the  disposition  and  influence  of  the  party  you  deal  with. 
Now,  we  may  negotiate  if  you  are  so  disposed." 

"  Since  you  know  every  thing,  my  merits,  my  possessions 
and  expectations,  please  name  the  utmost  sum  I  may  command, 
the  terms  to  be  dictated  by  yourself." 

"  I  have  calculated  it.     Ten  thousand  dollars." 

"  You  take  my  breath  !  " 

"  Do  you  take  the  money,"  said  Walter. 

"  Out  of  your  pocket  ?  "  asked  the  Jew. 

"  My  pocket  ? "  said  "Walter,  involuntarily  thrusting  his 
hand  in  it.  Oh,  yes.  He  is  quite  welcome  to  all  he  can  find 
there." 

;<  Your  terms  ?  "  demanded  Pollen. 

"  Two  bonds.  One  for  fifteen  thousand  dollars,  due  at  the 
expiration  of  twelve  months " 

"Without  interest?" 

"  With  interest  from  date — the  legal  interest,  six  per 
cent." 

«  Merciful  Jew  !  " 

"  No.  Mercy,  friendship,  gratitude,  are  idle  terms  in  mat 
ters  of  business.  The  merchants  denounce  us  for  charging 
four  per  cent,  a  month  for  our  money,  when  they  design  to 
realize  eight  per  cent  on  it,  and  sometimes  succeed." 


172  THE   WINKLES. 

"  How  is  that  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  Why,  with  fifty  thousand  dollars,  they  sell  to  the  amount 
of  half-a-million.  If  they  get  ten  per  cent,  profit  on  their 
sales,  they  receive  eight  per  cent,  per  month  on  the  capital  in 
vested.  And  yet  they  curse  us,  call  us  usurers,  and  pass 
laws  to  prevent  us,  if  possible,  but  which  is  not  possible,  from 
reaping  more  than  six  per  cent,  on  our  investments ! " 

"  With  the  ten  thousand,  then,  I  might  make  twenty,  and 
could  afford  to  pay  the  bonus  of  five.  I  think  I  shall  embrace 
the  offer,"  said  the  poet. 

"  But  the  other  bond,"  said  the  Jew. 

"  I  forgot  that.  What  is  it  like  ?  Not  a  pound  of  flesh,  I 
hope,  Jew  ?  " 

"  No — but  the  whole  heart.  You  must  bind  yourself  to 
marry  your  young  friend's  aunt  within  five  days,  and  you  shall 
have  my  check  payable  the  day  after." 

"  I'd  see  you first !  I  would  rather  marry  the  pretty 

girl  you  keep  to  admit  customers  taken  in  by  you." 

"  I  have  no  more  to  say,"  replied  the  Jew,  flushed  with 
anger.  "  But  I  warn  you  not  to  attempt  to  hold  any  conver 
sation  with  that  girl !  You  can  have  no  business  with  her. 
Good  night,  gentlemen." 

The  young  men,  thus  summarily  dismissed,  revenged 
themselves  by  exchanging  significant  glances  with  the  girl  who 
unbarred  the  door  for  them,  and  who  did  not  seem  to  be  of 
fended  at  the  liberty  they  had  taken. 

Walter,  who  was  impatient  for  the  solution  of  the  mystery 
in  which  he  was  so  unconsciously  involved,  prevailed  on  the 
poet  to  return  to  the  Winkle  mansion. 

"  I  thought  you  would  soon  return,"  said  the  pleased  old 
lady,  when  they  entered  the  brilliantly  illuminated  parlor. 
"  One  felt  an  irresistible  curiosity  to  know  my  secret ;  and  the 
other  always  finds  my  poor  house  sufficiently  attractive." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  Pollen,  "  a  home  fit  for  a  prince ;  but  I 
am  merely  a  poet." 

"  But  nevertheless  as  welcome  as  a  prince,"  said  Wilsome, 
with  a  most  gracious  smile. 

"  Now,  aunt !  "  said  Walter. 

"  Wait  till  one  of  the  Points  comes  in.  I  have  sent  for 
Clara — the  mischievous  one." 

"  The  Points  !  "  exclaimed  Walter,  recollecting  the  adven 
ture  of  the  night  when  he  entered  the  Professor's  house  by 


WHO  SQUEEZED    MY    HAND  ?  173 

mistake.     "  Pray  don't  send  for  her,  aunt,"  said  Walter.     "  I 
have  special  reasons  for  it." 

"  And  I  have  stronger  ones  for  doing  what  I  wish.  She  will 
make  a  fourth  at  whist.  Pooh !  you  don't  know  her.  She 
won't  recognize  you — she  did  not  know  Mr.  Pollen.  You  will 
find  her  a  pretty,  piquant,  delightful  little  creature ;  and  if 
Virginia  should  discard  you,  she  will  serve  for  your  next  love. 
On  such  conditions  you  may  have  access  here,  and  seats  at  my 
table.  Here  she  is! ':  And  sure  enough  the  lively  and  hand 
some  Clara  glided  into  the  room,  and  Walter  was  introduced 
to  her.  When  bowing,  and  lifting  her  eyes,  she  affected  to 
start,  as  if  surprised. 

"Don't  be  alarmed,"  said  Miss  Wilsome,  "he  is  no  bur 
glar." 

"  Burglar,  aunt !  " 

"  Yes,  burglar.  Oh,  you  don't  know  how  heartily  we  have 
laughed  at  that  odd  mistake  of  yours  !  " 

"  All's  known,  then  !  "  said  Walter.  "  I  begged  your  fa 
ther  not  to  divulge  it,"  he  continued,  addressing  Clara,  who 
had  taken  possession  of  a  seat  at  his  elbow. 

"  He  did  not  intend  to  divulge  it.  But  he  talks  in  his 
sleep,  and  my  mother,  woman-like,  you  know,  could  not  rest 
until  she  had  possession  of  his  secret." 

"  And  you,  may  I  not  venture  to  say,  could  not  rost  until 
you  obtained  it  from  her  ?  " 

"  You  may  venture  to  say  so !  And  had  I  no  right  to 
know  who  it  was  that  had  invaded  my  chamber?  " 

"  True.     But  I  hope  you  have  forgiven  me." 

"I  suppose  so.  But  you  must  be  careful  how  you  commit 
such  mistakes.  I  should  like  to  know  who  squeezed  my 
hand." 

"  It  was  not  me  ?     Probably  George " 

"  Who  ?  I  would  like  to  know." 

"  I  must  not  tell." 

"It  was  George  Parke,  since  both  Walter  and  Harold 
have  denied  it,"  said  Wilsome. 

"  You  ought  not  to  expose  George,  my  good  aunt,"  said 
Walter. 

"  After  exposing  himself  in  a  lady's  bed-chamber,  he  need 
not  fear  any  exposure  of  mine.  It  is  all  explained,  now ;  and 
so  we  will  have  our  game.  Rose,  bring  the  cards." 

"  Iss,  mem,"  said  Rose,  obeying  promptly. 


174  THE   WINKLES. 

"  There  is  something  else,  aunt,  you  were  to  elucidate," 
said  Walter,  reverting  to  the  displeasure  of  Virginia. 

"  The  letter — I  forgot  the  letter.  It  was  found  in  the 
flour  barrel." 

"  Found  in  the  flour  barrel !  "  exclaimed  Walter. 

"  Found  in  the  flour  barrel !  "  repeated  Clara,  in  a  mock 
solemnity  of  tone. 

"  A  floury  epistle,"  said  Pollen. 

"  No  one  read  it,  however,"  said  Clara.  "  We  agreed 
among  ourselves  that  its  contents  should  be  sacred.  We 
merely  looked  at  the  signature,  so  that  we  could  return  it  to 
the  writer." 

"  That  was  wrong,"  said  Walter  ;  "it  should  have  been  re 
turned  to  me,  the  owner." 

"  I  know  it,  and  I  said  so,  but " 

"  J  determined  it  should  be  delivered  to  Virginia.  Blame 
me,  Walter,"  said  his  aunt.  "  I  did  it  for  my  amusement, 
but  under  a  promise  that  all  should  be  satisfactorily  explained. 
I  knew  Virginia  could  be  easily  appeased.  Sit  still,  sir  ;  never 
mind  your  hat.3' 

'•  Your  letter  did  not  fare  so  well,"  continued  Clara,  ad 
dressing  Pollen. 

"  Mine  ?  I  am  not  aware  of  having  lost  any." 

"  It  was  no  great  loss,  I  fancy.  But  it  is  certain  that 
when  you  threw  your  hat  on  my  bed,  a  letter  fell  out  of  it." 

"  Indeed  !  Let  me  remember.  I  believe  I  did  receive  a 
note  that  day  from  my — tailor !  I  hope  you  sent  it  back  to 
the  writer.  I  shall  not  be  offended." 

"  Here  it  is,"  said  Clara,  who  had  slyly  received  it  from 
Miss  Wilsonie. 

"  Paid  !  Receipted !  My  dear  Miss,  you  may  have  all  my 
letters  !  "  said  Pollen,  who  knew  perfectly  well  who  had  paid 
the  bill. 

"  Agreed,"  said  Clara.  "  But  I  cannot  consent  to  receive 
them  in  the  same  manner,  and  at  the  same  time  and  place." 

"  My  dear  aunt,"  said  Walter,  rising,  "  do  permit  me  to 
run  down  to  Dr.  Nitre's " 

"  Are  you  unwell  ?  "  asked  Clara. 

"Pooh,  child,  she  won't  die  before  morning,5'  replied  his 
aunt,  shuffling  the  cards.  "  And  I'm  sure  she's  in  bed  by  this 
time,  and  perhaps  asleep,  and  dreaming  of  you.  The  habit  is 
fixed  upon  her — the  abominable  habit  of  retiring  early,  and 


AN    EXPLANATION.  1*75 

early  rising,  which  she  got  from  her  father.  He  is  out  every 
morning  before  the  sun  is  up,  cruelly  destroying  the  woodcock, 
or  killing  the  trout,  which  he  finds  in  a  small  brook — a  fish, 
Mr.  Pollen,  not  much  longer  than  your  finger." 

"  And  what  is  your  hour,  aunt,  for  retiring  ?  " 

"  None  in  particular — but  always  after  midnight.  And  I 
rise  in  the  same  way,  any  time  after  nine.  Bring  your  mate. 
I  am  paired." 

They  played  until  the  game  palled  on  their  hands,  for  the 
victory,  if  it  could  be  termed  a  victory  when  there  was  no  con 
test,  was  invariably  on  the  side  of  Wilsome  and  the  poet. 

"  You  must  be  deeply  in  love,  Walter,"  said  his  aunt.  "  I 
never  knew  you  to  play  so  badly.  It  must  be  an  affection  of 
the  heart  which  has  obtused  your  head." 

"  It  would  follow,  then,"  said  Pollen,  "  that  where  the  in 
tellect  is  clear,  there  is  no  affection  of  the  heart." 

Wilsome  threw  a  glance  of  surprise  at  the  poet,  and  felt 
that  her  shaft  had  rebounded. 

"  Let  him  defend  himself,"  said  she. 

"  No.     I  yield,"  said  Walter. 

"  Then  take  the  captive  with  you,"  said  his  aunt,  to  Clara, 
who  was  departing. 

"  I  will,"  was  the  response,  "  but  I  will  not  admit  him 
within  the  door." 

"  Oh,  he  finds  access  without  your  permission,"  said  Pol 
len,  bowing,  and  withdrawing. 

The  next  morning  Walter  hastened  to  the  mansion  of 
Doctor  Nitre,  and  met  the  doctor  himself  on  the  marble  steps. 

"  I  am  glad  to  meet  you  here,  my  young  friend,"  said  the 
doctor,  "  and  was,  indeed,  just  going  to  your  aunt's  to  see  you. 
I  have  learned  the  cause  of  Virginia's  umbrage — indeed  I 
knew  it  yesterday,  for  it  was  confided  to  me  by  Professor  Point 
— and  I  should  have  informed  you  of  it,  but  I  knew  there  was 
no  danger  of  a  serious  estrangement,  and " 

"  I  knew  all  about  it,  doctor,"  said  Walter,  impatient  to 
enter.  "  If  your  conscience  acquits  you,  for  prolonging  Vir 
ginia's  pain,  I  am  sure  I  do." 

"  But  you  have  had  your  revenge,  sir  !  I  have  been  pun 
ished.  Your  abrupt  departure  last  evening  was  attributed  by 
Mrs.  Nitre,  to  some  misconduct  of  mine ;  I  believe  it  was  for 
leaving  you  to  visit  some  poor  languishing  patient ;  and  I  as 
sure  you,  in  the  strictest  confidence,  that  I  endured  the 


176  THE   WINKLES. 

severest  curtain  lecture  last  night  I  ever  listened  to  in  all 
my  life." 

"  I  am  sorry  to  hear  it,  doctor." 

"  And  I  am  glad  to  find  a  sympathizer.  Mrs.  Nitre  has 
been  in  an  ill  humor  ever  since.  But  the  clouds  will  blow 
away,  and  the  sun  shine  forth  again,  when  she  sees  you.  Good 
bye — and  good  luck  to  you." 

Walter  rang  and  was  admitted.  But  before  the  servant 
had  an  opportunity  to  announce  his  name  to  Mrs.  Nitre,  he 
espied  Virginia  gliding  into  the  parlor,  and  immediately  joined 
her.  She  still  wore  a  serious  aspect,  and  there  were  visible 
traces  of  recent  discomposure. 

But  when  the  lover  made  a  full  confession  of  his  night's 
frolic ;  of  the  encounter  with  the  poet ;  the  Jew's  interview 
with  the  fortune  hunters ;  the  death  of  the  monkey,  and  the 
adventure  in  the  professor's  house,  the  gloom  vanished  from 
the  young  lady's  brow,  and  was  succeeded  by  hearty  and 
hilarious  laughter. 

"  In  the  name  of  wonder  what  is  the  matter  with  the 
girl ! "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Nitre,  running  in.  Virginia  was 
speechless  from  her  cachinatory  convulsions. 

"  Only  diverted  at  a  little  confession  I  have  been  making," 
said  Walter. 

"  Oh,  you  are  here,  my  dear  friend  !  The  stupid  servant ! 
I  will  discharge  her !  Not  to  inform  me  you  had  called. 
And — bless  me  !  I  am  in  dishabille  !  "  she  added,  glancing  at 
her  morning  wrapper  and  quickly  vanishing.  Before  she 
returned,  Walter  had  made  his  peace  with  Virginia,  and  de 
parted. 

When  he  appeared  again  before  his  aunt,  she  could  not 
avoid  observing  the  change  in  his  spirits  and  appearance ;  and 
she  listened  with  satisfaction  to  his  narration  of  the  proceed 
ings  at  his  uncle's  mansion  after  the  dispersion  of  the  wedding 
guests.  Being  greatly  diverted  at  the  annoyance  of  Gusset, 
on  whom,  when  her  name  was  mentioned,  she  never  failed  to 
bestow  a  broadside  of  opprobrious  epithets,  she  approved  the 
conduct  of  Walter,  and  desired  him  to  say  to  Sergeant  Blore, 
that  whenever  he  visited  the  city,  her  house  would  be  open  for 
his  reception,  and  might  be  freely  considered  as  his  head 
quarters.  But  she  condemned  Walter  for  riding  in  the  coach 
with  the  "  impudent  hussy,"  and  intimated  that  if  he  had 
quarrelled  with  her  outright  she  might  have  become  reconciled 


IT   TAKES  TWO   TO   MAKE   A   MATCH.  177 

to  him,  and  indeed  might  have  deferred  her  own  wedding  to 
some  distant  period. 

"  When  is  it  to  take  place,  aunt  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  I  have  not  fixed  the  day — but  soon." 

"  Is  he  impatient  ?  " 

"  He  ?  He  don't  know  any  thing  about  it  yet !  "  was  th*. 
prompt  reply. 

"  That  is  most  extraordinary,"  said  Walter.  "  I  always 
thought  it  required  two  to  make  a  match,  unless,  indeed,  one 
may  substitute  a  dummy." 

"  None  of  your  nonsense.  A  dummy  husband  might  be 
very  convenient,  though,  under  certain  circumstances  !  But 
mine  shall  be  a  man  of  genius ;  one  looked  up  to  by  the  world 
with  admiration ;  one  who  can  reply  to  the  impertinences  of 
frivolous  tongues,  in  Greek ;  one  who,  when  lifted  above  the 
fangs  of  poverty,  and  the  sneers  of  tradespeople,  will  be  uni 
versally  respected ;  and  who  will  have  justice  done  him  by 
the  press  of  the  country,  when  it  is  known  he  is  independent 
of  their  aid  in  the  procurement  of  a  subsistence.  Surely  I, 
who  can  accomplish  all  these  things  for  him,  have  the  right  to 
name  the  day  and  condition,  and  he  must  have  too  much  dis 
cernment  to  throw  any  obstacles  in  the  way." 

"  I  suppose  so,  aunt ;  but  I  don't  know.  I  have  heard  it 
said  that  Pollen  once  lost  a  fortune  by  refusing  to  yield  to  the 
caprices  of  a  woman." 

"  He  did — he  told  me  so  himself.  But  has  he  not  suf 
fered  for  his  folly  ?  Would  he  be  likely  to  repeat  such  an 
indiscretion,  with  all  his  experience  of  the  evils  of  abject 
destitution ;  I  don't  fear  it.  But  come— let  us  go  to  the  den 
tist." 

They  drove  to  the  gorgeously  upholstered  shop  of  the 
tooth-filer,  and  were  ushered  into  a  saloon  hung  round  with 
second-hand  mirrors  bought  at  Moses's  haberdashery,  and 
were  invited  to  recline  on  the  red  cushions  of  the  sofas. 

"  I  shall  do  no  such  thing,"  said  Wilsome  to  the  maid. 
"  I  am  never  kept  waiting  any  where.  Tell  Mr.  Enamel  that 
Miss  Wilsome  Winkle  desires  to  have  his  attention  imme 
diately."  % 

"  Mr.  Enamel,  miss,"  said  the  fine  servant  maid,  "  is  in 
New  York,  and  will  not  return  before  evening.  But  Mr.  Foil, 
his  friend  from  New  York,  and  the  fashionable  dentist  of  that 
city,  is  here  to-day  to  operate  for  him." 

8* 


178  THE   WINKLES. 

"  He  don't  operate  on  me  !  Mr.  Foil,  indeed  !  No.  My 
mouth  is  not  open  to  every  body  !  Tell  Mr.  Enamel,  when 
he  returns,  to  bring  his  instruments  to  my  house,  and  perform 
the  operation  there.  If  he  fails,  I  shall  look  for  a  more  grate 
ful  dentist.  I  first  saw  this  Enamel,'1  she  continued  to  Walter, 
as  they  returned  home,  "  several  years  ago,  in  church,  when 
all  the  wealth  he  possessed  was  a  fine  suit  of  clothes,  and  a 
handsome  face.  The  congregation  was  large  and  rich,  which 
of  course  was  the  reason  he  joined  them,  and  I  aided  him  in 
extending  his  acquaintance.  The  minister  recommended  him 
to  me,  and  I  believe  his  large  family  to  this  day  pay  nothing 
for  the  dentist's  services ;  and  so  Enamel's  business  increased 
most  wonderfully.  He  has  made  a  fortune,  however,  and  is 
less  accommodating  than  he  used  to  be.  But  he  shall  accom 
modate  me." 

"  Aunt,"  said  Walter,  "  do  you  suppose  there  was  any 
agreement  between  the  minister  and  the  dentist  ?  " 

"  Perhaps  none  specified.  But  like  another  class,  so  much 
abused,  there  are  some  clergymen  the  merest  deadheads,  who 
make  merchandise  of  religion.  While  denouncing  the  mer 
cenary  spirit  of  the  age,  their  own  edifices,  which  they  call 
churches,  are  the  marts  for  the  sale  of  all  sorts  of  wares, 
and  you  never  fail  to  hear  the  rattle  of  money  in  them.  It 
would  almost  seem  as  if  they  bartered  salvation  for  silver, 
and  begged  in  the  name  of  the  Lord." 

"  And  that  might  be  construed  as  taking  the  name  of  the 
Lord  in  vain " 

"  True,  Walter.  For  sometimes,  I  doubt  not,  they  beg 
in  vain.  If  Enamel  disappoints  me,  to-morrow  we  will  go  to 
New  York." 

"  To  New  York,  aunt  ?  " 

"  Certainly.  Do  not  people  go  there  every  day  ?  There 
is  nothing  wonderful  in  it.  Yes,  I  will  go  there,  and  be  ope 
rated  on  by  some  one  who  shall  not  learn  my  name,  and  where 
I  dwell.  I  have  my  reasons  for  it." 

"  Then  I  should  not  be  able  to  return  to  Babbleton  to 
day." 
.  "  Of  course  not." 

"  And  if  Enamel  comes,  I  shall  not  be  permitted  to  spend 
the  evening  at  Dr.  Nitre's." 

"  No.  You  are  subject  to  my  orders.  But  if  you  desire 
it,  Virginia  and  Julia  shall  both  come  to  my  house." 


NATURE'S  HANDIWORK.  179 

"  I  do  desire  it,  aunt." 

Virginia  and  Julia  were  sent  for  immediately,  and  they 
dined  at  the  Winkle  mansion.  In  the  evening  a  splendid 
equipage  drove  up  to  the  door,  and  Dr.  Enamel  descended, 
and  was  conducted  to  the  chamber  which  had  been  prepared 
for  him,  and  where  he  was  soon  after  joined  by  Miss  Wilsome 
and  Walter. 

Here  Walter  learned,  for  the  first  time,  that  his  aunt's 
beautiful  teeth  he  had  been  accustomed  to  admire,  were  all 
false,  and  that  the  roots  of  the  one  to  be  extracted,  were  the 
last  remains  of  nature's  handiwork.  When  her  teeth  were  re 
moved,  Miss  Wilsome's  lips  fell  in,  and  her  voice  was  sepul 
chral. 

"  If  it  gives  you  too  much  pain,"  said  Enamel,  when  pre 
paring  to  incise  the  gum,  "  you  had  better  take  a  little  ether. 
I  have  brought  a  bottle  for  that  purpose." 

"  Throw  it  out  of  the  window  !  "  said  the  old  lady,  now 
looking  very  old  indeed.  "  I  will  have  none  of  it.  I  shall 
never  place  myself  in  a  condition  to  have  my  throat  cut,  and 
be  a  mere  silent  spectator,  without  the  ability  to  resist.  True, 
Walter  is  here,  and  would  revenge  me.  Still,  I  won't  relin 
quish  my  own  powers  of  resistance.  Do  your  work  as  quickly 
as  possible — I  will  bear  the  pain." 

She  bore  it  like  a  heroine.  She  did  not  even  wince  under 
the  infliction.  But  the  root  adhered  so  tenaciously  to  its 
socket,  that  all  the  strength  of  Enamel  was  exerted  to  extract 
it.  And  in  the  struggle,  he  placed  one  of  his  hands  on  the 
head  of  his  patient,  and  by  an  unlucky  movement,  the  whole 
mass  of  dark  glistening  hair,  which  had  often  elicited  the  ad 
miration  of  Walter,  slipped  aside  and  fell  to  the  floor,  leaving 
his  aunt's  head  as  bald,  and  almost  as  smooth  and  white  as  an 

egg- 

"  Give  me  my  hair  !  "  she  cried,  starting  up,  and  ejecting 
the  blood  which  followed  the  extraction  of  the  root  of  the 
tooth. 

"  How  is  this?  "  demanded  Walter,  rising,  and  assuming  a 
menacing  attitude,  for  at  first  he  supposed  the  dentist  had  by 
some  process  or  other  deprived  his  aunt  of  her  natural  adorn 
ment. 

"  It  is  only  her  wig,"  whispered  Enamel.  "  She  has  been 
bald  fifteen  years." 

"  Wilsome  replaced  the  hair,  adjusting  it  before  a  mirror 


180  THE  WINKLES. 

speechless  with  indignation,  for  Pollen  had  passed  by  the  dooi 
•which  had  been  neglectfully  left  open.  Then  she  replaced 
her  teeth,  without  uttering  a  word. 

"  I  am  sorry  the  accident  happened,"  said  Enamel. 

"  You  should  have  remembered  that  it  happened  once 
before,"  replied  Wilsome,  after  a  long  silence.  "It  is  not 
pleasant  to  be  exposed  thus,  in  the  presence  of  witnesses. 
True,  one  is  my  nephew — but  he  knew  nothing  about  it.  And 
Pollen  must  be  passing,  just  at  that  moment !  " 

"  He  was  in  a  revery,  aunt,"  said  Walter,  "  and  incapable 
of  observing  external  objects." 

"  I  hope  so,"  said  she.  "  That  is  all,  sir,"  she  continued 
to  Enamel.  "  To-morrow  send  me  your  bill,  and  I  will  sign 
a  check.  You  know  I  will  not  permit  my  name  to  go  on  a 
dentist's  books." 

Enamel  bowed  and  withdrew,  and  the  next  minute  his 
coach  was  heard  rolling  away. 

As  Walter  and  his  aunt  proceeded  towards  the  parlor, 
where  the  young  ladies  were  engaged  in  some  boisterous  enter 
tainment,  many  solemn  injunctions  of  inviolable  secrecy  were 
imposed.  The  old  lady  declared,  in  the  event  of  his  betraying 
her,  the  estrangement  which  she  had  already  decreed,  would 
be  changed  to  bitter  enmity,  without  the  benefit  of  truce,  or 
an  interlude  of  special  friendly  meeting,  during  the  remainder 
of  their  lives. 

When  they  appeared  in  the  parlor,  it  was  ascertained  that 
the  poet  had  truly  fallen  into  one  of  his  fits  of  abstraction,  and 
wandered  away  in  the  street,  muttering  incoherently,  some 
thing  upon  the  subject  of  impartial  criticism.  Wilsome  seemed 
annoyed.  But  Walter  and  Virginia  realized  a  happy  uncon 
sciousness  of  the  vexations  to  which  mortality  is  liable. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

FLIGHT  OP  LUCY  FBOM  HEE  LOVEES— JOHN  DOWLT'S  VISIT  TO  THE 
WIDOW— BLOEE'S  LETTEE. 

AT  the  village  Roland  attempted  in  vain  to  obtain  an  inter 
view  with  Lucy.     Repeatedly  the  effort  was  made  ;  and  when 


A   PKOMISE.  181 

he  withdrew  the  last  time,  defeated  and  chagrined,  and  with 
malignant  impulses  struggling  in  his  breast,  he  was  met  by 
Lowe — his  despised  rival — who  was  approaching  the  mansion. 
Lowe,  always  pale,  but  never  more  self-possessed,  diminished 
his  pace,  and  looking  his  enemy  steadily  in  the  eye,  smiled 
derisively.  Roland,  disconcerted,  and  trembling  with  fear, 
cast  down  his  eyes  and  strode  past  without  uttering  a  word. 

Lowe  was  admitted,  and  a  few  moments  after  Lucy  ap 
peared  before  him,  and  occupied  a  seat  at  his  side.  And  she 
began  the  conversation. 

"  Mr.  Lowe,"  said  she,  u  I  chanced  to  see  your  meeting 
with  Roland  in  the  street.  You  seemed  prepared  for  a  ren 
contre.  There  was  defiance  on  your  lip,  and  vengeance  in 
your  heart." 

"  He  is  a  coward— therefore  I  cannot  attack  him." 

"  He  is  dangerous,  though  cowardly,  as  you  say.  I  would 
not,  for  the  world,  have  any  blood  spilled  on  my  account. 
Will  you,  for  my  sake,  forbear?  " 

"  Certainly.  I  never  could  desire  to  do  him  injury,  except 
in  my  own  defence,  or  yours." 

"  I  shall  withdraw  from  a  place  where  it  is  necessary  to 
have  a  defender.  Will  you  promise,  during  my  absence,  not 
to  come  in  hostile  collision  with  Roland  ?  " 

"  Most  willingly,  especially  if  the  desire  is  at  all  prompted 
by  a  motive  to  save  me  from  the  effects  of  his  evil  machina 
tions." 

"  I  would  save  you  from  his  vengeance,  which  is  not  often 
balked  in  the  victimization  of  its  object.  I  would  save  him, 
too,  from  the  consequences  of  your  enmity.  And  I  would  save 
myself  from  the  heart-rending  reflection,  that  I  had  been  the 
innocent  cause  of  strife,  and  wounds,  and  perhaps  death.  Oh, 
promise  me  that  you  will  not  have  any  conflict  with  him  !  " 

"  I  do  promise,  Lucy,  as  I  said,  unless  it  be  unavoidable." 

"  It  may  be  avoided,  sir,  if  you  will  it — for  you  know  the 
truth  of  the  old  proverb,  where  ever  there  is  a  will  there  is  a 
way." 

"  I  fear  the  proverb  is  not  true.  I  have  the  will,  for  in 
stance,  to  make  you  mine,  now  and  for  ever.  I  see  you  trem 
ble.  Fear  not — I  will  not  importune  you  further,  until  it  is 
fairly  ascertained  if  there  be  no  other  way  to  remove  the  im 
pediment.  But  I  have  a  most  vehement  will  to  know  the 


182  THE   WINKLES. 

place  you  have  selected  for  your  seclusion.  Now,  where  is 
the  way  ?  " 

"  You  jest  with  me,"  said  Lucy,  smiling  ;  "  and  in  truth 
I  am  glad  to  see  your  spirits  reviving ;  for  I  had  learned  you 
were  in  a  melancholy  mood." 

"  In  your  presence,  dear  Lucy,  my  gloom  and  despondency 
vanish,  like  vapors  before  the  sun." 

"  If  you  deem  such  fine  nattering  speeches  the  way,  you 
are  mistaken." 

"  I  did  not — I  did  not.  It  was  uttered  involuntarily,  and 
for  my  own  gratification.  It  is  an  enjoyment,  Lucy,  for  me 
to  utter  the  truthful  sentiments  of  my  heart  in  your  presence. 
But  the  way — why  may  I  not  learn  the  way  ?  " 

"  For  the  reason  I  alleged.  The  decree  cannot  be  recalled, 
until  there  may  be  no  longer  any  reason  for  its  enforcement. 
Still  there  may  be  a  way,  if  there  be  a  will — that  is,  if  the 
will  be  true  and  faithful,  and  constant " 

"  Until  when  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  tell.  I  know  not.  You  know  what  we  would 
learn,  but  will  not  tell.  Let  that  suffice." 

"  It  must,  perforce.     We  are  interrupted." 

Biddy  Boggle,  who  had  admitted  some  one  into  the  hall, 
stood  at  the  door  of  the  parlor. 

"  Who  is  it,  Biddy  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  Dill  Bizzle,"  said  she. 

"  What  does  he  want  ?  " 

"  He  says — no — I  beg  pardon — I  meant  to  say  Bill — Biz 
zle — this  time.  He  says  there's  a  female  woman — he  said  it 
mam — has  a  letter  for  you,  from  your  aunt." 

"  Show  her  into  the  other  room,  Biddy,  and  bring  me  the 
letter,"  said  Lucy,  in  some  trepidation,  for  she  believed  the 
messenger  came  from  her  aunt  in  New  York.  And  so  it 
proved ;  and  a  bright  flush  spread  over  her  face,  when  she 
glanced  at  the  well-known  peculiarity  of  her  aunt's  cali- 
graphy. 

"  I  will  call  again,  if  permitted,  this  evening,"  said  Lowe, 
rising.  "  May  I  do  so  ?  " 

"  Certainly,"  said  Lucy,  half  unconsciously,  and  she  pro 
ceeded  to  tear  open  the  envelope  as  Lowe  retired. 

While  Lucy  was  perusing  the  letter,  the  bearer  of  it,  Miss 
Edith  McCrabbed,  a  thin,  pale,  hoop-nosed  old  maid,  was  con 
ducted  into  the  sitting-room,  where  she  was  recognized,  by  the 


THE   FLIGHT   OF   LUCY.  183 

widow,  as  the  only  domestic,  or  rather  companion,  of  her  sister 
Flora.  She  was  greeted  in  a  familiar  and  friendly  manner, 
but  she  declined  taking  the  seat  tendered  her,  or  removing 
her  bonnet. 

"  Surely  you  do  not  intend  to  return  to-day  ?  "  said  Mrs. 
Winkle. 

"  Surely  I  do  !  "  said  Miss  McCrabbed  ;  "  and  the  con 
ductor  said  the  train  for  New  York  would  be  here  in  fifteen 
minutes." 

"  Why,  did  you  not  say  you  came  for  Lucy  ?  " 

"  Yes,  mawdam,  and  I  hope  she'll  be  ready." 

"To-day?" 

"  Yes,  inawdam.     The  letter  explains  it  all." 

Just  then  Lucy  came  in  with  the  letter.  She  hastened  to 
bestow  some  friendly  salutations  on  Miss  McCrabbed,  and  then 
placing  the  letter  in  the  hands  of  her  mother,  exclaimed :  "  I 
will  be  ready  !  I  am  rejoiced  it  is  so.  Do  not  object,  mother. 
We  will  avoid  the  many  unpleasant  anticipations  that  would 
otherwise  afflict  us  before  parting.  Read  it,  dear  mother, 
while  I  prepare  my  trunk.  Biddy,  tell  Bill  Dizzle  to  stay  a 
few  minutes.  Say  I  shall  want  him  to  carry  Miss  Me  Crab- 
bed's  trunk  to  the  depot." 

Lucy  disappeared  before  her  mother  could  reply.  The 
letter  ran  thus  : — 

"  MY  DEAR  NIECE  : — I  send  my  Edith  for  you,  and  I  de 
sire  that  you  will  return  with  her,  by  the  evening  mail.  She 
is  discreet,  and  no  one  knows  her  in  Babbleton.  By  accom 
panying  her,  your  persecutor  will  not  be  able  to  trace  you  to 
your  asylum.  Wear  a  thick  veil,  so  that  he  may  not  recog 
nize  your  features  when  you  go  to  the  cars.  You  may  safely 
confide  in  Edith.  She  has  been  my  confidant  for  many  years, 
as  your  mother  knows.  She  was  personally  acquainted  with 
the  Great  Unknown — Sir  Walter — and  is  familiar  with  the 
plots  and  stratagems  of  villains.  She  reads  for  me  every 
night,  and  has  a  romantic  and  literary  disposition.  Since  I 
received  your  dear  pathetic  letter,  I  have  been  going  over  the 
'  Children  of  the  Abbey'  again,  and  find  my  eyes  continually 
suffused  with  the  miseries  of  poor  Amanda.  My  dear  child  ! 
You  remind  me  of  her  so  much,  that  I  am  painfully  impatient 
to  clasp  you  to  my  heart !  Do  not  delay  a  moment.  My 


184  THE   WINKLES. 

love  to  sister  Edith.     Tell  her  not  to  insist  on  my  Edith  hav 
ing  any  refreshments,  for  she  never  takes  any. 

"  Your  own  aunt, 

"  FLORA  BLOUNT. 

"  P.  S. — Do  not  forget  your  purse,  or  any  jewels  of  value. 
You  know  I  am  very  poor,  and  we  never  know  what  vicissi 
tudes  may  be  in  reserve  for  us. 

"  FLORA." 

Bill  Dizzle  glided  through  the  hall  with  a  trunk  on  his 
shoulder,  as  the  first  whistle  of  the  approaching  train  was 
heard  ;  and  the  next  moment  Lucy  ran  in  and  threw  her  arms 
around  her  mother's  neck.  "  Farewell,  dear  mother  !  "  cried 
she.  "  It  is  best  to  go  thus — to  part  now — but  we  will  write 
daily — and  if  I  do  not  return  soon,  you  can  come  to  me.  I 
will  induce  my  aunt  to  make  every  thing  convenient  for  the 
visit.  Never  fear  !  I  never  yet  strove  in  vain  to  please.  I 
will  convince  her  that  she  is  not  poor — for  I  believe  she  is 
rich — and  are  you  not  her  only  sister  ?  Farewell,  dear,  dear 
mother ! " 

A  moment  after,  being  released  from  her  mother's  embrace, 
Lucy  was  crossing  the  street  with  Edith  McCrabbed,  and  when 
the  train  paused,  the  two  were  just  at  the  steps,  and  ascended 
into  the  car  without  being  recognized,  or  attracting  the  slight 
est  notice  from  the  crowd  that  stood  in  the  vicinity. 

When  comfortably  seated,  and  just  as  the  cars  were  starting 
away,  Lucy  beheld  Roland  gazing  at  some  ladies  sitting  a  few 
feet  in  front  of  her.  She  turned  her  head  quickly  away,  and 
trembled  lest  she  might  be  discovered.  But  as  the  train 
moved  off,  she  became  satisfied  she  had  escaped  his  observa 
tion,  and  once  more  breathed  freely. 

Mrs.  Winkle  laughed  and  wept  alternately.  The  letter 
from  her  sister,  the  Scotch  messenger,  the  trunk  hurried  away 
on  Dizzle's  shoulder,  and  Lucy's  promptitude  of  action,  were 
irresistible  sources  of  amusement.  But  then  the  reality,  the 
sad  reality,  that  Lucy  was  gone,  and  that  she  was  left  alone 
for  an  indefinite  period,  with  perhaps  an  enemy  awaiting  a 
favorable  opportunity  to  aim  a  blow  at  the  small  remnant  of 
her  fortune ;  and  with  nlany  malicious  persons  around,  ever 
ready  to  rejoice  at  her  calamity,  produced,  at  every  ebb  of  her 
spirits,  a  flood  of  tears. 

It  was  while  her  spirits  were  thus  ebbing  and  flowing,  that 


SHE   IS   PURSUED.  185 

Lowe  again  entered,  anticipating  the  hour  appointed  for  his 
return ;  for  he  had  learned  from  Bill  Dizzle  that  Lucy  had  de 
parted,  but  in  what  direction  Bill  was  unable  to  say,  for  he 
had  been  called  away  from  the  depot  after  putting  down  the 
trunk,  and  there  were  no  less  than  three  trains  with  passengers 
to  leave  in  the  next  few  minutes  for  as  many  different  places. 
"  Is  it  true,"  cried  Lowe,  "  that  Lucy  has  left  us  ?  " 
"  True,  indeed.     You  men  would  not  let  her  rest,  and  so 
she  resolved  to  escape." 

"  But  she  appointed  an  hour  for  me  to  come  hither  this 
very  evening." 

"  Then  come.  Or  rather  stay.  I  hope  she  did  not  promise 
to  be  here  herself?  " 

"  I  understood  her  so." 

"  You  must  have  misunderstood  her  ;  she  never  deceives. 
But  she  has  a  spice  of  humor,  and  knew  the  house  would  be 
open  to  receive  you.  Laugh  at  it,  Mr.  Lowe,  and  confess  that 
the  men  do  not  possess  all  the  spirit  vouchsafed  poor  humanity. 
I  have  laughed  until  tears  came  to  my  relief." 

"  But  is  it  prudent,  Mrs.  Winkle,  to  permit  Lucy  to  depart 
unattended,  and  perhaps  to  remain  for  days  or  weeks,  where 
no  one  interested  in  her  welfare  will  watch  over  her,  and  be 
ready  to  defend  her  from  insult,  if  any  should  be  offered  ?  You 
know  she  is  irresistibly  lovely." 

"  I  know  the  gentlemen  are  in  the  habit  of  saying  go.  But 
be  not  uneasy.  Her  safety  will  be  guarded  by  others,  and  I 
have  confidence  in  her  own  sense  of  duty  and  strength  of  pur 
pose.  Why,  did  she  not  fly  the  danger  here  ?  I  assure  you 
her  departure  was  a  suggestion  of  her  own.  I  have  no  fears 
for  Lucy." 

"  And  you  will  not  tell  me  where  she  has  gone  ?  " 
"  No.     She  did  not  authorize  me  to  do  so." 
u  Very  well.     I  am  then  at  liberty  to  find  out,  if  I  can. 
Permit  me  to  take  my  leave.    In  half  an  hour  I  must  be  seated 
in  the  down  train." 

As  Lowe  said  this,  he  looked  to  find  some  indication  in 
Mrs.  Winkle's  features  of  the  truth  of  his  conjecture.  He  had 
heard  Dizzle  say  the  letter  was  from  Lucy's  aunt,  and  although 
he  was  aware  that  Miss  Wilsome  had  decreed  the  banishment 
of  the  widow's  family,  yet  he  had  never  heard  of  the  existence 
of  another  aunt.  Therefore  he  hastened  to  the  cars  when  they 


186  THE   WINKLES. 

paused  at  the  depot,  and  set  off  for  Philadelphia  in  pursuit 
of  Lucy. 

Roland  saw  him  depart  from  his  room  at  the  inn,  a  cbavuli-i 
which  he  often  occupied  expressly  for  the  purpose  of  gazing  at 
the  ladies.  When  the  train  was  in  motion,  he  started  up,  and 
resolved  to  make  another  attempt  to  see  Lucy,  and  even  pro 
pose  to  marry  her  in  church,  if  no  other  mode  remained  to 
make  her  his,  and  thus  snatch  her  from  his  hated  rival. 

"  Mrs.  Winkle,"  said  he,  when  admitted,  "  I  am  come  in  a 
fit  of  desperation." 

"  Oh  Lud ! "  said  she,  "  I  hope  there  is  no  danger  of  being 
killed  by  you!" 

"  You  misunderstand  me.  I  am  come  once  more  to  beg  an 
interview  with  Lucy.  And  I  am  prepared  to  say  that  I  will 
wed  her  in  open  day,  and  in  the  church.  My  heart,  my  hand, 
my  fortune  are  all  laid  at  her  feet." 

"  Generous  sir  !  You  are  too  liberal !  I  will  not  inquire 
what  boon  it  was  you  have  hitherto  been  willing  to  bestow 
upon  my  poor  child.  Suffice  it  that  your  all  is  tendered  at 
last." 

"  You  seem  to  mock  me.  Will  you  procure  me  an  inter 
view?" 

«  How  can  I  ?  " 

"  Command  her  to  appear  in  your  presence.    She  will  obey." 

"  She  cannot," 

"Cannot?" 

"  She  is  not  here.     She  is  gone." 

"Gone?    Where?" 

"  That  I  cannot  tell." 

"  Cannot  tell !  "  exclaimed  Roland  furiously,  and  rising.  "/ 
can  !  She  has  eloped,  and  I  know  with  whom  !  Madam,  you 
could  not  have  consented  to  it.  If  so,  where  was  the  necessity  ? 
I  saw  her  seducer  depart  in  the  cars  for  Philadelphia.  Good 
day,  madam.  I  will  pursue  them  !  I  have  agents  in  the  city, 
madam,  who  will  soon  find  them,  and  Lucy  shall  be  restored. 
Good  day,  madam  !  I  will  spend  ten  thousand  dollars  rather 
than  that  vagabond  shall  have  her.  The  vagabond  is  your 
handsome  pale-faced  Lowe,  madam — a  villain,  madam ! " 

Fortunately  Roland  did  not  look  behind  when  rushing  out, 
else  he  would  have  beheld  the  merry  widow  dangerously  agi 
tated  with  excessive  laughter.  The  idea  that  Lucy's  admirers 


A    VISIT.  187 

were  pursuing  in  one  direction,  when  she  was  flying  in  another 
and  an  opposite  one,  was  irresistibly  diverting. 

Roland  stamped  in  front  of  the  inn  with  his  watch  in  his 
hand,  resolved  if  the  next  down  train  should  be  a  minute  be 
hind  its  time,  to  make  those  who  were  to  blame  suffer  for  it. 
He  was  a  large  stockholder.  But  this  time,  as  if  aU  the 
doomed  victims  of  his  ill-nature  were  to  elude  his  grasp,  the 
train  arrived  a  minute  before  the  time,  and  there  was  yet  no 
opportunity  to  vent  his  accumulated  wrath.  He  sprang  in, 
and  was  soon  rattled  into  the  city. 

Meantime,  as  the  shades  of  evening  fell  upon  the  peaceful 
village,  and  the  mocking-bird  began  his  song  with  the  rising 
of  the  moon,  unconscious  that  she  who  had  never  failed  to  ac 
knowledge  the  tuneful  salutation  was  away,  an  old-fashioned 
spring-shaft  gig  stopped  in  front  of  the  inn,  and  an  old- 
fashioned  gentleman,  in  an  old-fashioned  coat  and  hat,  de 
scended  to  the  ground.  After  giving  the  reins  to  the  ostler, 
and  charging  him  particularly  to  take  good  care  of  his  ancient 
horse,  the  old  gentleman  turned  away  and  proceeded  deliber 
ately  to  the  widow's  mansion. 

"  I  am  very,  very  glad  to  see  you,  Mr.  Dowly  !  "  exclaimed 
Mrs.  Winkle,  when  the  old  gentleman  was  ushered  into  her 
presence.  "  You  could  not  have  selected  a  better  time  to 
accept  my  invitation  to  tea,"  she  continued,  shaking  his  hand 
heartily,  "  for  I  am  quite  alone  and  require  the  company  of  a 
true  friend." 

"  My  Maker  knows  I  am  your  true  friend.  I  will  laugh 
with  you,  or  weep  with  you,  and  even  die " 

"  With  me,  or  for  me  ?  "  asked  the  widow. 

"  Upon  my  word  I  don't  know  which  would  be  the  most 
proper.  They  are  the  words  I  should  have  spoken  when  young 
— but  I  was  stupid — yet  honest  and  true — yes,  true  and  hon 
est,  Edith." 

"  I  am  sure  of  it.  And  if  you  had  spoken  your  senti 
ments  boldly,  I  do  not  know but  all  that  is  past,  buried 

a  quarter  of  a  century  ago.  Sit  opposite.  Bring  in  the  tea, 
Biddy.  Let  me  make  it.  How  has  it  happened,  Mr.  Dowly, 
that  of  all  the  evenings  in  the  world,  you  should  have  selected 
this,  when  I  most  desired  a  social  companion,  to  pay  me  the 
often-deferred  visit  ?  " 

"  I  knew  you  were  alone." 

«  You  did  ?     How  did  you  learn  that  ?  " 


188  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Every  body  knows  it.  It  is  already  the  talk  of  the  town 
and  the  country.  I  heard  them  speaking  of  it  in  the  bar 
room." 

"  Of  what?" 

"  Of  the  poor  child's  elopement.  But  I  first  learned  it  of 
Dizzle,  who  came  to  my  house." 

"  Lucy's  elopement !  " 

"  Yes.     But  be  comforted.     Roland  is  a  bad  man " 

"  Do  they  say  she  ran  away  with  him  ?  " 

"  No,  no.  But  he  told  every  one  he  met,  that  she  had  run 
away  with  Lowe,  the  vagabond,  as  he  called  him  ;  and  declared 
he  would  bring  her  back,  and  have  her  lover  locked  up  in  pri 
son.  Then  I  ventured  to  come  hither,  hoping  I  might  be  able 
to  afford  you  some  little  consolation ;  and  to  repeat  the  Chris 
tian  precepts,  which  alone  can  impart  comfort  in  trouble. 
But  you  are  not  cast  down " 

"  No !  Ha,  ha,  ha !  What  a  world !  Oh,  how  happy 
the  Arums  and  Crudles,  and  Snobsons  must  be  !  How  they 
exult,  and  pity  the  disgraced,  poverty-stricken  Winkles  !  And 
why  should  not  I  laugh  too  ?  Oh,  that  they  could  see  me  ! 
I've  spilt  my  tea.  More  hot  water,  Biddy." 

"  Do  not  be  so  much  disturbed,  my  dear  madam,"  said 
Dowly,  looking  in  alarm  upon  the  spasmodic  symptoms  of 
the  widow. 

"  Disturbed,  Mr.  Dowly  ?  I  beg,  I  earnestly  entreat  you 
will  believe  me,  when  I  say,  that  whilst  the  envious  gossips  are 
exulting,  or  supposing  they  are  exulting  over  my  calamity,  I 
enjoy  some  of  the  happiest  moments  of  my  life,  and  would 
fain  have  them  witness  my  felicity." 

"Felicity,  Mrs.  Winkle?" 

"  That  may  be  rather  too  strong  a  word ;  but  I  don't  know 
another  that  would  answer  better.  Mr.  Dowly,  Lucy  has  not 
eloped  with  any  one  !  " 

"  I  thank  my  Maker  !  Oh,  I  thank  my  blessed  Maker  for 
it !  Laugh  on.  I  will  laugh  with  you — for  I  do  love  that 
dear  child  as  much  as  her  parent  can,  and  I  hope  you  will  per 
mit  me  to  say  so." 

"  And  it  was  when  you  supposed  me  overwhelmed  with 
mortification  and  irremediable  distress — abandoned  and  dis 
honored  by  my  own  child,  and  reviled  and  scoffed  at  by  my 
neighbors — that  you  came  to  comfort  me,  to  say  that  you  were 
still  my  friend — that  you  loved  my  dear  departed  daughter ; 


A   DECLARATION.  189 

to  offer  consolation — to — Oh,  Mr.  Dowly,  let  my  tears  have 
free  vent.  May  God  bless  you  !  " 

"  Do  not  weep,  dear  lady  !  If  it  had  been  really  as  they 
suppose,  and  as  some  of  them  might  have  had  the  wickedness 
to  desire,  still,  believe  me,  John  Dowly  would  have  never 
forsaken  the  Edith  that  once  and  always  so  completely  pos 
sessed  his  heart." 

"They  are  not  the  tears  of  weeping,  Mr.  Dowly.  They 
proceed  from  joy — joy,  that  there  exists  one  pure  and  noble 
being  in  the  world,  and  that  being  my  friend.  If  it  were  not 
utterly  too  late  in  the  afternoon  of  our  lives,  this  hand  of 
mine  should  be  yours,  as  the  only  recompense  I  could  offer." 

':  I  am  happy !  To  hear  you  say  so,  is  worth  more  than 
worlds  to  me !  My  dreams  are  realized.  In  them  I  have 
heard  you  utter  similar  words,  and  they  are  like  the  memories 
of  blessed  youth.  All  I  ask  is  that  I  may  not  be  considered 
bold  and  intrusive  in  my  eager  friendship,  and  in  the  tender 
of  my  services.  Only  permit  me  to  think  of  the  past,  to 
dream  on,  and  talk  of  the  sunny  days  when  we  were  young 
together,  and  I  shall  desire  no  more  exquisite  happiness  in 
this  life.  Permit  this,  and  whatever  I  possess  is  yours  and 
your  children's  to  command." 

"  Thank  you,  thank  you,  Mr.  Dowly.  Any  little,  or  great 
incident  of  the  past  that  you  can  remember,  or  feeling,  or 
word,  or  scene,  that  may  be  recalled,  you  may  refer  to  without 
hesitation.  It  will  be  a  pleasure  to  me.  Although  I  certainly 
loved  my  husband  dearly,  yet  John  Dowly  was  always  near 
my  heart,  and  its  portals  were  never  closed  against  him.  I 
always  loved  him  to  the  full  extent  that  duty  permitted ;  and 
my  estimate  of  his  character  was  not  erroneous.  I  have  no 
doubt  that  what  your  good  heart  prompts,  your  hand  would 
execute  to  the  utmost,  if  your  means  were  only  equal  to  your 
will." 

"  My  means — you,  too,  suppose  I  am  poor.  Every  body 
thinks  so  but  Abraham  Laban,  and  he  would  not  tell  any 
thing  to  the  contrary,  for  fear  it  might  interfere  with  some  of 
his  contemplated  operations." 

"  I  am  sure  I  shall  be  rejoiced  to  learn  it  is  not  so,"  said 
%rs.  Winkle. 

"  I  have  my  poor  old  house,  and  my  few  barren  acres.  I 
raise  no  great  crops,  and  contrive  to  pay  my  taxes.  That's 
all  the  people  know,"  continued  the  old  man  smiling,  and  his 


190  THE   WINKLES. 

lustrous  dark  eyes  evincing  the  satisfaction  he  felt.  "  And  I 
wear  an  old-fashioned  coat  and  hat,  which  attract  the  attention 
of  the  people  on  the  boat,  for  I  often  see  them  gazing  at  me." 

"  I'm  sure  they  look  very  genteel,  Mr.  Dowly,'5  said  the 
widow. 

"  They  are  without  lint  or  stain.  I  take  great  care  of 
them.  And  why  do  you  suppose  I  take  such  great  care  of 
these  old  things  ?  I'll  tell  you.  They  remind  me  of  the 
past,  and  they  make  the  years  roll  by  imperceptibly.  They 
keep  fresh  in  my  memory  the  associations  I  like  to  dwell  upon. 
My  old  brown  coat  once  sported  in  its  button-hole  a  beautiful 
flower  dropped  from  your  fair  hand — I  have  it  still  in  my  old 
Bible  ! " 

"  I  don't  remember  it,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  smiling. 

"  But  I  do.     It  was  at  a  gay  party  at  General  C 's. 

You  sat  upon  the  balcony  in  the  moonlight,  and  Winkle  was 
with  you.  You  uttered  a  lament  for  the  loss  of  the  flower.  I 
was  below,  and  seized  it,  and  hid  it  in  my  bosom. " 

"  Why,  Mr.  Dowly,  now  I  do  remember  it.  It  fell  just 
when  Mr.  Winkle  was  proposing " 

"  I  thought  so  at  the  time.  But  that  made  no  difference. 
I  resolved  to  preserve  the  beautiful  blossom,  not  for  any  su 
perior  sweetness  of  its  own,  but  for  the  sake  of  the  hand  which 
had  clasped,  and  in  memory  of  the  lips  that  had  pressed  it. 
Thus  old  objects  remind  me  of  the  happy  past,  when  the  world 
to  my  youthful  eyes  was  illuminated  with  a  heavenly  bright 
ness.  And  believe  me,  that  no  thought  of  censure  crossed 
my  mind — nor  any  inclination  to  blame  you  for  preferring  ano 
ther,  ever  arose  in  my  breast !  " 

"  I  am  sure  of  it." 

"  Yes,  you  may  be  sure  of  it.  Although  you  were  anoth 
er's  in  reality,  in  my  dreams  you  were  mine ;  and  as  I  slept 
one  half  my  time,  I  am  indebted  to  you  for  all  the  happiness 
I  have  enjoyed." 

"  Mercy  on  me,  Mr.  Dowly !     I  was  not  aware  of  all  that !  " 

"  And  the  old  objects  I  have  preserved  remind  me  of  those 
blissful  years  with  which  they  were  associated.  But  the 
people  think  I  am  poor,  and  unable  to  procure  other  clothing ! 
Edith,  when  we  were  young,  I  had  sufficient  fortune  to  aspire, 
if  my  heart  had  not  been  faint,  even  to  your  hand.  Upon 
your  marriage,  I  retired  from  business  and  lived  in  seclusion, 


INQUIRIES   AFTER   LUOT.  191 

where  I  now  dwell.  And  if  I  have  not  spent  any  thing  since 
that  day,  what  do  you  think  has  become  of  my  fortune  ?  " 

"  I  am  sure  I  hope  you  have  it  still." 

"  I  have.  But  it  has  grown  larger  as  I  have  grown  older. 
I  have  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  watch  the  securities  I  held, 
collect  the  interest  and  compound  it.  And  why  have  I  done 
so  ?  I  am  without  kindred.  But  there  are  those  I  love,  and 
they  will  need  it.  They  shall  have  it !  " 

"  You  become  enthusiastic,  Mr.  Dowly.  Can  it  be  possi 
ble  you  moan  me — my  family  ?  " 

"  Who  else  ?  Have  I  loved  any  others  ?  Have  others 
treated  the  supposed  poor  old  John  Dowly  with  respect? 
No  !  The  ability  to  bestow  it  on  you,  and  when,  too,  cir 
cumstances  have  made  it  acceptable,  is  my  chief  delight  in 
this  world.  I  would  have  aided  your  honorable  husband,  if 
he  had  appRfed  to  me  ;  but  I  had  not  the  presumption  to  ten 
der  him  any  assistance.  He  must  have  known  I  had  fortune. 
But  no  matter ;  I  have  waited  for  an  opportunity,  and  have 
not  waited  in  vain.  When  Roland  became  possessed  of  the 
mortgage  on  this  property,  I  knew  his  object,  and  resolved  to 
defeat  him.  He  thinks  me  poor — and  he  must  not  be  unde 
ceived.  He  is  a  bad  man,  and  I  desire  to  have  no  strife  with 
him.  He  knows  I  rescued  Lucy  from  his  grasp,  but  he  thinks 
I  have  not  been  informed  of  his  design.  But  Lucy!  We 
have  forgotten  her.  Bless  my  life !  I  never  was  so  beguiled 
before  !  It  has  been  my  intention  at  every  pause  to  ask  where 
the  dear  child  has  gone.  I  know  why  she  sought  another 
asylum,  and  would  fain  learn  the  place  of  her  abode,  if  ic  be 
not  improper  to  desire  it." 

"  Not  at  all.     She  is  by  this  time  with  her  aunt  Flora." 

"  Bless  me !     Is  slie  living  yet  ?  and  unmarried  ?" 

"  Living  and  unmarried.  She  never  could  find  a  mate 
sufficiently  heroical  and  romantic  to  captivate  her  heart.  She 
rejected  many." 

"  I  know  she  did !  She  would  have  rejected  me.  After 
you  were  wedded,  I  determined  to  seek  her  hand.  She 
seemed  to  suspect  my  intention,  and  took  the  first  opportunity 
to  nip  my  hope  in  the  bud.  It  was  fortunate,  for  I  could 
never  have  loved  her." 

"  She  has  never  loved  any  one  but  the  heroes  of  her  nov 
els;  and  those  she  will  never  cease  to  adore." 

"  Does  she  read  novels  yet  ?  " 


192  THE  WINKLES. 

"  Incessantly.  And  although  residing  in  the  most  public 
place  in  a  great  city,  she  lives  in  utter  seclusion.  Lucy  could 
not  have  found  a  better  abode." 

"  I'm  glad  to  hear  it.     I'm  glad  it's  so." 

"  And  just  to  think  that  both  Lowe  and  Roland  are 
searching  for  her  in  Philadelphia !  It  is  laughable." 

"It  is  so ;  and  I  shall  laugh  heartily  at  it.  But  Roland. 
I  have  a  nice  little  stratagem  for  him.  You  must  consent  to 
it.  He  will  be  beaten  at  the  election.  Walter  is  to  make  a 
speech  against  his  party,  and  Lucy  has  rejected  his  addresses 
with  scorn.  His  thirst  for  vengeance  will  be  uncontrollable, 
and  he  will  endeavor  to  distress  you  by  foreclosing  the  mort 
gage." 

"  And  you  will  not  permit  us  to  be  thrust  into  the 
street  ?  " 

"  I  would  be  thrust  into  the  river  first,  with  a  millstone 
tied  to  my  neck.  When  the  money  is  demanded,  merely  say 
you  have  it  not " 

"  But  Dibble  says  I  have  enough  in  bank  to  pay  the  in 
terest." 

"  The  interest — but  he  will  demand  the  principal.  Let 
him  proceed.  The  trifling  costs  will  be  of  no  moment.  Let 
him  sell " 

"  Mercy  on  me  !     Sell  my  house  ?  " 

"  Yes — but  you  shall  be  the  purchaser,  no  matter  who 
may  bid  against  you.  I  will  be  near  to  sign  a  check  for  the 
amount.  Then  the  property  will  be  yours  and  unincumbered, 
and  Roland's  rage  will  consume  him.  The  Arums  and  Cru- 
dles  will  be  the  victims  of  chagrin.  None  will  know  whence 
the  money  comes — but  they  might,  if  you  used  my  check !  I 
will  bring  the  money,  and  you  shall  have  it  in  your  purse. 
They  will  be  astonished,  you  relieved,  and  John  Dowly  the 
happiest  man  in  the  world." 

"  I  am  not  sure  that  Walter  would  sanction  the  arrange 
ment.  He  is  a  little  fastidious  on  such  delicate  points.  But 
you  will  then  hold  the  mortgage  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  it  will  be  surrendered  to  you,  and  you  can  de 
posit  it  in  my  keeping." 

"  I  see  no  objections " 

"  No — do  not  conjure  up  any,  unless  you  desire  to  make 
me  miserable." 

At  this  stage  of  the  conversation,  Biddy  appeared,  and 


A  LETTER  FROM  THE  SERGEANT.        193 

without  being  questioned  by  her  mistress,  announced  "  Dill 
Bizzle." 

He  was,  as  ever,  promptly  admitted,  and  said  lie  bore  a 
letter  from  Sergeant  Blore  for  Walter.  The  widow  took  pos 
session  of  it,  and  Bill  retired  immediately.  The  letter  not 
being  sealed,  Mrs.  Winkle  assumed  the  liberty  of  reading  it. 
It  ran  as  follows : 

"  Dear  Sir :  Excuse  my  bad  writing,  for  you  know  I  write 
with  my  left  hand,  and  hold  the  paper  down  with  my  right 
stump.  I  saw  Col.  Oakdale  to-day,  and  he  said  you  would  be 
home  to-night,  therefore  I  write. 

"  I  want  to  see  you  as  soon  as  convenient.  The  enemy 
has  begun  operations,  and  violated  the  capitulations.  My 
garrison  holds  out  yet,  but  we  are  in  distress,  and  if  not  soon 
relieved,  we  must  surrender,  expecting  no  quarter.  The 
enemy " 

"  Pardon  my  interruption,"  said  Mr.  Dowly,  but  do  you 
know  what  is  meant  by  the  enemy  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  the  widow ;  "  my  brother's  wife,  the  new 
Mrs.  Winkle.  [Reading]  The  enemy  has  almost  made  your 
uncle  a  prisoner  in  his  own  house.  His  cheeks  are  paler,  and 
his  eyes  bloodshotten.  The  intention  is  to  make  him  abdi 
cate.  I  know  it  is.  At  the  same  time,  the  she-wolf  pretends 
to  be  so  affectionate,  that  he  cannot  speak  a  harsh  word  to 
her.  But  she  fills  all  his  time,  and  talks  so  much,  that  he 
can  say  nothing.  There  is  foul  play  in  the  wind,  I  know. 
She  has  convinced  him  there  is  danger  in  war,  and  that  he  is 
liable  to  be  killed  by  the  Bull.  She  wants  him  to  make  his 
will — which  I  call  an  abdication ;  and  if  he  abdicates  in  her 
favor,  she'll  not  care  a  grape-shot  how  soon  he  does  die.  In 
deed,  she  might  help  him  off — like  the  infernal  tigress  Catha 
rine  of  Russia  did  her  husband.  So  you  see  the  danger  is 
very  great.  But  I  am  not  idle.  Every  time  the  red-haired 
Scotch  lawyer  Bawson  comes  out  of  her  closet,  I  lead  him 
into  mine ;  and  as  he  is  a  Scotchman,  and  as  I  offer  two  dol 
lars  where  she  offers  one,  I  may  gain  the  victory,  as  Richelieu 
used  to  do.  He  has  agreed,  if  ordered  by  your  uncle  to  draw 
up  a  will,  to  insert  your  name.  The  she  devil,  like  all  women 
who  are  tyrants,  don't  know  a  will  from  a  deed,  and  is  a  per 
fect  fool  in  business  transactions.  But  I  pity  the  commander. 

"  Have  you  seen  a  lawyer  for  me  about  my  own  entangle- 


194  THE   WINKLES. 

ment?  Bawson  says  I  have  the  advantage  of  her.  She's 
been  married  twice,  and  I  only  once.  But  I  doubt  it.  She 
was  married  to  men,  and  I  to  a  woman.  It  makes  all  the  dif 
ference  in  the  world.  No  matter.  If  she  declares  war,  I 
must  defend  myself  to  the  last  extremity — and  I  won't  pay 
any  indemnity.  Reconnoitre  the  old  catamount  for  me  before 
you  leave  town.  Come  to  the  garrison  through  the  orchard. 
The  Bull  keeps  all  the  cattle  yet. 

"  Your  faithful  old  soldier,  TH.  BLORE." 

This  despatch  afforded  the  old  couple  an  ample  topic  for 
the  remainder  of  the  evening ;  and  when  they  rose  from  the 
tea-table,  it  was  striking  eleven  o'clock.  The  old  gentleman, 
after  declaring  the  hours  just  spent  were  among  the  happiest 
of  his  life,  and  receiving  an  assurance  from  the  widow  that  her 
lonely  condition  had  been  assuaged  by  his  presence,  departed 
for  the  inn,  and  calling  for  his  old  horse,  drove  slowly  home 
ward  by  moonlight  in  a  delightful  re  very. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

WILSOME  WINKLE  DISMISSES  THE  POET— EOLAND  MEETS  LOWE  AND 
THE  ACTOE,  BUT  NOT  LUCY. 

WALTER'S  visit  to  his  aunt  was  capriciously  prolonged,  under 
the  belief  that  his  presence  was  the  means  of  procuring  her  a 
larger  share  of  the  poet's  company,  and  additional  rubbers  at 
whist.  But  the  moment  the  attraction  of  her  nephew  seemed 
to  cease  in  its  effect  on  Pollen,  she  dismissed  him.  It  oc 
curred  on  the  very  day  that  Lucy  departed  from  Babbleton, 
and  the  young  man  and  Virginia  were  espied  passing  through 
the  village  in  an  open  carriage,  having  landed  from  the  boat 
just  when  Roland  had  taken  his  seat  in  the  cars.  He  cast  a 
fierce  glance  at  the  happy  pair,  and  secretly  resolved  to  balk 
their  purposes  ;  for  it  seemed  to  be  his  ruling  passion  to  mar 
the  happiness  of  others,  as  if  by  that  means  he  could  realize 
a  greater  share  himself.  Walter,  not  observing  him,  urged 
forward  the  horses,  and  never  paused  until  he  reached  the 
hospitable  mansion  of  the  colonel,  where  he  remained  all 


THE   POET    DISMISSED.  195 

night  for  the  purpose  of  shooting  woodcock  early  the  next 
morning. 

At  the  Winkle  mansion  in  the  city,  a  succession  of  novel 
events  followed  the  departure  of  Walter. 

When  her  nephew  rose  from  the  dinner  table,  Pollen  was 
requested  by  Miss  Wilsome  to  remain,  and  was  invited  to 
drink  wine  wittr  her.  For  some  time  the  poet  had  abstained 
from  the  use  of  such  stimulants,  under  the  persuasion  that 
they  were  uniformly  pernicious  to  one  of  his  excitable  tem 
perament  ;  and  Wilsome  had  once  applauded  his  resolution, 
for  she  was  not  ignorant  of  his  infirmity.  But  now  the  time 
had  arrived  for  him  to  propose  ;  and  as  he  had  evinced  no  dis 
position  to  bring  matters  to  a  crisis,  she  determined  to  stimu 
late  him  a  little.  But  in  vain.  He  only  spouted  Greek,  and 
lamented  over  his  lost  one  in  heaven.  He  abused  the  critics, 
and  denounced  the  publishers.  The  Jews  were  likewise  the 
objects  of  his  anathemas.  Then  he  lived  in  the  future,  and 
anticipated  the  time  when  all  who  had  neglected  him,  or 
wronged  him,  would  be  the  victims  of  remorse.  The  popular 
authors  of  the  day,  who  monopolized  the  favors  of  the  public 
press,  would  sink  in  oblivion,  and  the  works  of  men  of  genius 
rise  to  set  no  more.  He  was  deaf  to  the  suggestions  of  his 
entertainer,  and  finally  arose  from  the  table,  and  with  folded 
arms  and  muttering  lips,  strode  through  the  hall  and  out  into 
the  street. 

The  old  lady  did  not  faint,  or  turn  pale,  or  become  vio 
lently  agitated.  Her  heart  was  proof  against  all  such  effects 
of  disappointment.  If  she  had  ever  loved  truly  and  dearly, 
it  must  have  been  at  so  remote  a  period,  she  had  forgotten  it 
herself;  and  her  heart  was  now  quite  impervious  to  tender 
emotions,  when  meditating  the  details  of  a  matrimonial  ar 
rangement.  But  all  her  feelings  were  not  callous.  Time 
cannot  wholly  conquer  the  impulses  of  resentment  in  the 
breasts  of  old  women.  There  are  some  passions  as  indestructi 
ble  as  the  immortal  mind — the  evil  as  well  as  the  good.  But 
Miss  Wilsoine  was  not  naturally  malignant ;  and  she  possessed 
a  certain  hereditary  magnanimity,  which  mingled  with,  and 
sometimes  overcame  her  resentments. 

"  Rose,"  said  she,  when  the  maid  answered  the  silver  bell. 

"Iss,  mem." 

"  When  Mr.  Pollen  comes  again,  say  I  am  not  at  home." 

"Iss,  mem." 


196  THE   WINKLES. 

"  When  he  calls  the  second  time,  say  I  am  engaged." 

"Iss,  mem." 

"  The  third  time  he  comes,  say  I  desire  he  will  leave  his 
address,  so  that  I  can  send  him  a  note.  The  fellow  may  not 
have  money  enough  to  buy  a  dinner ;  but  he  dines  here  no 
more.  I  will  not  be  scandalized  for  nothing." 

"  Iss,  mem." 

"  Hold  your  tongue,  and  go  about  your  business  !  G-o  to 
the  door.  Some  one  is  ringing  now.  If  it  be  Pollen,  do  as  I 
ordered  you." 

« Iss,  mem." 

"  Well,  who  is  it  ?  A  card  !  Did  I  not  say  he  must  call 
three  times  before  you  took  his  card  ?  Stay !  It  is  Mr. 
Lowe  !  and  at  this  hour  !  Admit  him — perhaps  he  has  not 
dined.  Bring  him  here.  He  shall  take  the  poet's  wine,  and 
perhaps " 

She  was  interrupted  by  the  entrance  of  Lowe,  whom  she 
greeted  with  much  cordiality,  and  then  compelled  him  to  oc 
cupy  a  seat  at  the  table. 

"  Now,  what's  the  news  ?  Mind,  you  are  to  say  nothing 
in  relation  to  the  disgraceful  affairs  of  my  brother." 

"  But  I  must  be  permitted  to  refer  to  your  niece.  I  sup 
pose  she  is  here  ?  " 

"  Here  ?     Not  she  ! " 

"  Not  here  ?  " 

"  No,  sir.  I  have  said  it,  and  it  used  to  be  a  saying,  that 
a  Winkle  always  spolfe  the  truth.  But  the  poor  poet,  Pollen 
— ha,  ha,  ha ! — asserted  that  a  good  reason  might  be  alleged 
for  the  utterance  of  a  certain  quantity  of  falsehoods,  and  what 
do  you  suppose  it  is  ?  " 

"  I  am  sure  I  cannot  conjecture." 

"  Why,  it  is  that  truth  is  too  precious  a  commodity  to  be 
lavishly  expended ! " 

"  And  so  is  money.  Therefore,  like  other  poets,  he  may 
not  always  be  prepared  to  pay  his  debts." 

"  Excellent.  I  shall  prefer  you  to  the  poet.  Be  my 
guest,  and  we  will  have  a  whist  party." 

"  Excuse  me — until  I  can  hear  something  of  Lucy." 

"  Lucy  !     Is  she  really  not  at  home  ?  " 

"  She  left  home  suddenly  to-day,  and  would  not  permit  it 
to  be  known  whither  she  was  going." 

"  Not  even  her  mother  ?  " 


THE   TRUTH.  197 

"  I  believe  her  mother  does  know ;  but  she  refuses  to  tell 
me." 

"  Why  should  she  tell  you  ?     Are  you  in  love  with  her  ?  " 

"  I  confess  I  am  !  " 

"  Then,  I  presume  she  reciprocates  the  affection." 

"  And  runs  away?" 

11  Certainly.  The  women  are  enigmas,  and  understand 
each  other.  If  the  men  knew  us  as  well  as  we  do  ourselves, 
there  would  be  no  hope  for  us.  But,  fortunately,  we  can  keep 
our  own  secrets.  She  had  a  sufficient  reason  for  going,  de 
pend  upon  it.  You  have  your  mystery,  and  she  has  hers. 
She  is  safe — with  some  schoolmate,  perhaps.  No  Winkle 
ever  committed  an  impropriety,  and  none  ever  will.  I  except 
my  brother  ;  but  he  is  a  man,  and  men,  you  know,  can  commit 
them  with  impunity." 

"  I  am  glad  you  feel  no  uneasiness  on  account  of  the  ab 
sence  of  your  niece." 

"  Uneasiness  !  Why  should  I,  while  her  mother  is  calm  ? 
But  take  my  advice,  and  cease  to  pursue  that  silly  girl.  She 
is  pretty,  I  admit ;  virtuous,  I  know ;  accomplished,  as  all 
may  see ;  but  she  will  be  an  expensive  wife,  and  her  lord 
should  have  an  ample  treasury,  which  I  presume  you  have  not. 
Besides,  I  had  intended  her  for  another,"  continued  Wilsome, 
fondling  the  great  white  cat,  which  she  had  taught  to  occupy 
a  seat  at  the  table. 

"Another?" 

"  Yes — a  rich  man.     I  mean  Roland." 

"  Madam,"  said  Lowe,  sternly,  "  Roland  is  a  villain !  " 

"Is  this  jealousy?" 

"  No,  Miss  Wilsome,  it  is  the  truth.  I  will,  confidentially, 
relate  to  you  the  circumstance  which  proves  it."  He  did  so. 

"  If  I  thought,  sir,  you  possessed  the  wicked  nature  of 
your  master,"  said  Wilsome,  pulling  the  cat's  ear,  "  I  would 
have  you  drowned  this  night !  Oh,  the  monster  !  To  make 
such  an  attempt  upon  a  Winkle !  Walter  shall  cut  his 
ears  off!" 

"  No  ;  Lucy  forbade  any  one  molesting  him.  I  met  him, 
and  branded  him  with  the  name  of  coward.  Lucy  learned 
this  shortly  afterwards,  and  exacted  a  promise  that  I  would 
have  no  deadly  conflict  with  him.  And  she  does  not  wish  her 
brother  to  know  any  thing  of  the  occurrence." 

"  It  is  an  affair,  then,  in  which  I  shall  not  meddle.     But 


198  THE    WINKLES. 

I  shall  revoke  my  invitation  to  Roland  to  visit  the  mansion. 
You  shall  be  welcome,  always ;  but  still,  I  would  have  you 
abandon  the  pursuit  of  my  niece.  She  is  in  safety — you  may 
rely  upon  it ;  and  if  she  has  resolved  not  to  be  found,  you 
will  not  succeed  in  your  endeavors.  Remain  with  me." 

"  I  will  do  so  cheerfully,  for  the  present,  and  have  taken 
lodgings  for  several  days  at  my  hotel.  I  have  a  little  mis 
chief  in  contemplation  against  some  of  the  rich  enemies  of 
Lucy  in  Babbleton,  which,  with  your  assistance,  may  be  con 
summated  without  difficulty.  We  shall  have  to  employ  the 
milliners  and  mantuamakers." 

"  Willingly.  I  can  command  them  all !  There's  the  bell ! 
Who  is  it,  Rose?" 

"Mr.  Roland,  mem." 

"  Roland ! " 

"  I  pray  you  see  him,"  said  Lowe. 

"  Take  him  into  the  front  parlor." 

"Iss,  mem." 

"  Mr.  Lowe,  do  you  go  into  the  rear  one ;  but  remain  out 
of  sight." 

It  was  done  as  she  desired. 

"  Miss  Wilsome,"  said  Roland,  not  seeming  to  observe  the 
old  maid's  stiff,  frigid  nod,  "  I  come  in  great  concern,  to  ask 
if  your  niece  is  at  your  house." 

"  She  is  not;  and  I  do  not  know  where  she  is." 

"  Then  she  is  lost — ruined  !  " 

"  How  is  she  ruined  ?  " 

"  Her  character  is  gone  for  ever  !  " 

"  That  is  impossible,  sir  ;  therefore,  it  is  false  !  " 

"  You  are  mistaken.     She  has  eloped !  " 

"  Eloped !  Do  you  know  who  you  are  speaking  about  ? 
Who  you  are  speaking  to  ? 

"  You  may  rely  upon  what  I  say.  You  think  it  impossi 
ble  for  one  of  her  character  to  take  such  a  desperate  step. 
But  it  is  true.  She  has  eloped  with  an  idle,  good-for-nothing 
vagabond what's  that  ?  " 

"  Achee !  Achee  !  "  sneezed  Lowe. 

"  A  friend  of  mine,  who  is  as  deaf  as  a  post.  He  cannot 
hear  you.  But  if  he  could,  I  should  not  fear  any  damage  to 
Lucy's  character  from  your  calumnies." 

"  Calumnies ! " 

«  Achee ! " 


A    SNEEZE.  199 

"  Who  is  it  ?     I've  heard  that  sneeze  at  Babbleton." 

"  Never  mind  the  sneeze.  I  say  calumnies.  Lucy  is  in 
capable  of  doing  any  thing  to  compromise  her  character,  and 
I  will  not  believe  a  word  of  it.  But  why  are  you  so  deeply 
interested  ?  " 

"  Me  ?     You  know  I  love  her  !  " 

"  Ay,  as  the  wolf  does  the  lamb !  "  Lowe  had  also  in 
formed  her  of  Roland's  beguilement  of  the  player's  daughter. 
He  had  it  from  Walter. 

"  I  would  marry  her." 

"  You  would  ? "  said  Wilsome,  half  abstracted  by  an 
amusing  thought  which  flashed  upon  her  mind.  "  Perhaps 
the  girl  may  be  in  the  city,  and  may  be  found.  My  coach 
man  can  ascertain.  Sit  down,  and  look  over  the  paper.  Ex 
cuse  me  for  a  few  minutes.  But  if  I  produce  her  within  the 
next  half  hour,  you  will  pledge  yourself  to  wed  her  ?  " 

"  Yes — that  is — certainly,  if — if  she  is " 

"  If  she  will  have  you — say  that,"  and  Wilsome  hastened 
away,  through  the  hall,  leaving  Lowe,  who  had  been  suffering 
from  the  effects  of  a  recent  cold,  and  was  remarked  to  sneeze 
very  peculiarly,  still  occupying  his  position  in  the  rear  parlor, 
the  folding-doors  being  nearly  closed. 

At  the  expiration  of  a  brief  space  of  time  the  mischievous 
old  maid  reappeared,  and  soon  after  a  loud  ring  was  heard  at 
the  street  door. 

"  Is  it  Lucy  ?  "  asked  Roland,  his  features  relaxing. 

"  You  shall  see." 

"  Mr.  Glass !  "  cried  Snapper,  throwing  open  the  door,  and 
ushering  in  the  actor. 

"  Mr.  Roland,"  said  the  actor,  "  where  is  my  daughter  ? 
Tell  me  where  my  poor  child  is,  and  I  will  forgive  the  rest." 

"  I  have  not  the  custody  of  your  daughter.  Go,  sir ;  you 
are  mistaken.  I  pity  your  distresses,  and  am  willing  to  re 
lieve  them.  Here  is  a  bank  note.  You  are  in  error.  Your 
daughter  is  not  in  my  possession." 

"Poor  Delia!"  said  Glass,  taking  the  money,  however; 
"  I  fear  she  is  lost  for  ever.  You  know  Mr.  Roland " 

"  I  do  not ;  I  tell  you  no  !  Leave  me,  now,  and  I  will 
call  and  see  if  we  cannot  find  her." 

"  I  thought  you  were  seeking  for  Lucy,"  observed  Wil 
some. 

"  Is  she  another  one  whom  he  has  enticed  away  from  the 
parental  roof  ?  "  asked  Glass. 


200  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I  entice  no  one.     Leave  us,  Glass.     I  know  an  idle  fel 
low  who  has  probably " 

"  Achee  !  "  sneezed  Lowe. 

"  Permit  me,"  said  Roland  to  Wilsome,  "  to  throw  open 
that  door." 

"  You  have  my  permission,  sir;  and  I  hope  my  friend  in 
the  next  room  will  not  be  annoyed." 

"  He !  "  exclaimed  Roland,  upon  beholding  Lowe,  who 
arose  and  came  forward  with  a  deliberate  step. 

"  Is  this  your  deaf  friend  ?  "  asked  Roland,  casting  a  re 
proachful  look  at  Wilsome. 

"  My  hearing  is  not  very  acute,"  said  Lowe,  "  since  my 
exposure  in  the  night  air,  at  the  country  residence  of  Mr. 
Napoleon  Winkle." 

"  I  trust  you  will  soon  recover,"  said  Roland,  deeming 
there  was  no  danger  of  a  personal  assault  on  such  an  occasion. 

"  My  nerves  are  not  at  all  affected,"  replied  Lowe,  with  a 
steady  gaze. 

"  But  who  is  the  idle  fellow  you  alluded  to?"  asked  Glass. 

"  Yes,  let  us  know  who  you  mean,"  added  Wilsome. 

"  There  are  many  such  persons  as  the  one  I  alluded  to," 
said  Roland,  evasively.  "  But,  Miss  Wilsome,  it  does  appear 
that  you  were  not  ignorant  of  the  elopement  of  your  niece. 
I  presume  she  is  here,  and  that  she  is  protected  by  you.  It 
is  enough ! " 

"  It  is  enough,  sir,  that  you  should  be  content,"  remarked 
Lowe,  in  distinct  tones.  "  Miss  Lucy  has  not  eloped  with 
any  one.  It  is  an  unfounded  imputation.  And  if  such  a  re 
port  has  been  put  in  circulation,  it  is  a  base  calumny  ,•  and  I 
would  willingly  undertake  to  maintain  what  I  say  in  the  pres 
ence  of  its  slanderous  author." 

"  I  have  no  particular  concern  in  the  matter.     I " 

"  Stop,  Mr.  Roland,"  said  Wilsome ;  "  did  you  not  say 
you  would  marry  Lucy  ?  " 

"  No  matter  what  I  said  !  I  see  a  plot  has  been  concert 
ed  here  for  your  amusement,  and  I  trust  it  will  be  enjoyed 
while  it  may.  Come,  Glass,  I'll  go  home  with  you." 

"  No,  sir ! "  replied  the  indignant  actor.  "  You  have 
already  made  my  hearth  desolate." 

"  Fool !  If  that  is  your  gratitude,  give  me  back  the 
money." 

"  You  owe  me  a  thousand  times  more  than  your  purse  can 


AN  ACTOR'S  PURSE.  201 

P*iy.    You  have  stolen  my  daughter,  and  my  good  name.     My 
purse  is  mere  trash " 

"  Very  true,  Glass,  very  true.  Very  good !  Good  day, 
Glass."  ' 

And  Roland  rushed  away. 

"  He's  gone,"  said  Glass,  unfolding  the  bank  note  and 
reading  the  denomination.  "  He  made  a  mistake,  I  am  sure. 
He  had  two  notes,  and  gave  me  the  wrong  one.  I  don't  know 
whether  I  ought  to  keep  this  ?  " 

"  Why  not  ?  "  asked  Wilsome. 

"  This  is  more  than  he  intended  to  give.  This  is  a  hun 
dred  dollar  note — the  other  was  a  ten.  He  intended  to  give 
me  the  other." 

"  No  matter,"  said  Lowe,  "  he  can  afford  it.  And  no 
doubt  you  will  find  use  for  it." 

"  True,  sir;  we  are  all  poor — I  mean  the  actors." 

"  I  have  often  heard  that  said,"  remarked  Wilsome,  "  but 
could  never  understand  why  it  should  be  so." 

"  It  is  quite  easy  to  account  for  it,"  said  Glass.  "  Our 
salaries  are  small,  and  our  expenditures  are  large.  And  such 
as  myself,  who  am  an  American,  the  poorest  of  all." 

"  And  does  it  follow  because  you  are  an  American  ? " 
asked  Lowe,  with  interest. 

"  It  does.  The  managers  and  treasurers  are  Englishmen, 
and  favor  their  own  countrymen." 

"  But  the  audiences  are  Americans." 

"  True.  But  what  of  that?  They  don't  know  the  Eng 
lish  actors  from  the  native  born ;  and  they  don't  often  see  the 
managers  on  the  boards.  They  are  generally  the  most  uncon 
scionable  tyrants  in  the  world ;  and  if  the  people  only  knew 
them,  they  would  not  patronize  them.  But  just  now  we  are 
on  half  salaries.  The  great  singers  at  the  other  house  have 
carried  the  city,  and  our  establishment  has  ceased  to  be  the 
fashionable  resort.  The  gratification  about  the  matter  is, 
that  the  British  who  oppress  the  Americans  are  themselves 
sometimes  overcharged  by  the  Germans,  the  Italians,  and 
French  artists.  Just  now  the  good  people  would  rather  pay 
five  dollars  to  hear  a  German  sing,  than  to  witness  a  British 
play.  American  plays  cannot  be  brought  on  the  stage.  My 
friend  Pollen  has  been  attempting  it  for  two  years." 
"  That  is  very  extraordinary,"  said  Lowe. 
"  But  it  is  true,"  said  the  actor.  "  The  only  hope  for  an 
9* 


202  THE    WINKLES. 

American  poet,  is  to  study  the  indecencies  of  British  society, 
and  introduce  lords  and  ladies  in  his  play." 

"  You  are  very  severe  on  my  country " 

"  What !  are  you  an  Englishman,  Mr.  Lowe  ?  "  asked  Miss 
Wilsome. 

"  I  must  confess  it  was  my  fortune  to  be  born  in  merry  Old 
England.  Nevertheless,  I  must  acknowledge  there  is  much 
justice  in  my  friend's  remarks.  But  the  way  to  be  redressed, 
Mr.  G-lass,  is  to  carry  the  war  into  Africa.  I  have  seen  you 
on  the  stage,  and  like  your  simple,  natural  style  of  acting ; 
and  I  have  also  seen  your  daughter,  whom  I  believe  to  be  ca 
pable  of  eminent  success.  Take  her  to  London " 

"To  London,  sir?" 

"  Yes,  to  London.  Be  kind  enough  to  furnish  me  with 
your  address,  and  I  will  inclose  you  a  letter  for  a  friend  of 
mine  in  England,  who  will  be  found  able,  and  I  doubt  not 
entirely  willing,  to  put  you  in  the  way  of  making  a  fortune." 

"  Sir,  you  speak  like  one  in  earnest,  and  one  who  may  have 
the  ability  of  performing  what  he  promises.  Here  is  my 
card,  sir;  and  I  shall  be  happy  to  see  you  at  my  humble 
abode." 

"  I  will  take  an  occasion  to  call,  sir,"  said  Lowe.  Glass 
then  departed,  with  a  lighter  spirit,  and  a  heavier  purse,  than 
when  he  entered. 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

THE  ARUMS  AND  CRUDLES  GO  TO  CHURCH  IN  THEIR  FINE  DRESSES, 
AND  ARE  ECLIPSED  BY  PATTY  OTAN. 

IT  was  Sunday,  a  bright,  beautiful,  inspiring  day  ;  and  every 
body  in  the  village  not  belonging  to  the  other  denominations, 
seemed  determined  to  attend  the  services  in  the  ancient  church, 
of  which  Mr.  Amble  was  the  rector,  and  in  which  the  Winkles 
had  worshipped  their  Maker  for  many  generations.  Lowe  had 
visited  the  widow  for  the  purpose  of  accompanying  her  to 
church,  and  to  confound  the  gossips  who  were  industriously 
circulating  the  report  of  his  elopement  with  Lucy.  Amused, 
rather  than  annoyed  at  the  creduity  and  uncharitableness  of 


DISPLAY    OF    DRESSES   AT   CHURCH.  203 

the  people,  he  had  secluded  himself  since  his  return  from  the 
city,  and  had  seized  an  opportunity  when  no  idle  gazers  were 
in  the  street,  to  cross  over  to  the  widow's  cottage. 

Walter  was  in  high  spirits.  His  mother  had  made  known 
to  him  his  sister's  desire  to  have  the  place  of  her  temporary 
abode  kept  a  profound  secret,  and  he  had  promised  not  to 
divulge  it.  But  he  was  ignorant  of  the  cause  of  her  flight, 
and  could  only  conjecture  that  it  grew  out  of  a  desire  to  defer 
coming  to  a  decision  on  the  various  matrimonial  proposals  which 
he  doubted  not  had  been  made  her.  Lowe  had  even  ven 
tured  to  inform  him,  that  the  mysterious  disappearance  of  his 
'sister  had  given  rise  to  a  rumov  of  an  elopement ;  at  which 
Walter  laughed  very  heartily,  and  begged  his  friend  not  to 
contradict  it. 

If  one  could  have  seen  the  hearts,  and  read  the  inclina 
tions  of  the  members  of  Mr.  Amble's  congregation  that  morn 
ing,  it  is  quite  possible  he  would  have  found  a  large  proportion 
of  them  entertaining  a  desire  to  witness  the  humiliation  of 
the  occupants  of  the  conspicuous  pew  of  the  Winkles.  Some 
were  merely  curious  ;  but  more  were  exultant. 

They  determined  to  go  to  church  at  an  earlier  time  than 
usual  that  morning,  to  see  the  remnant  of  the  proud  Winkle 
family  enter  after  themselves,  and  proceed  in  dejected  proces 
sion  to  the  old  pew.  Besides,  nearly  every  member  of  the 
congregation  had  to  pass  Mrs.  Winkle's  door  on  tha  way  to 
church ;  and  their  triumphant  smiles,  and  felicitous  glances 
might  be  seen  and  comprehended  by  any  of  the  family  hap 
pening  to  be  looking  out  of  the  windows.  The  Arums  and 
Crudles  in  particular,  who  had  been  disappointed  the  preced 
ing  Sunday  in  the  exhibition  of  their  fine  dresses  and  new 
bonnets,  to  a  large  audience,  in  consequence  of  a  threatening 
cloud — which,  however,  had  not  deterred  them  from  walking 
to  church,  although  it  had  driven  the  curious  gazers  from  the 
street — were  now  resolved  to  make  a  crushing  parade  of  their 
earthly  habiliments.  Their  faces  were  wreathed  in  smiles,  as 
if  an  unwonted  happiness  had  been  reserved  for  them  that 
morning.  They  were  now  the  undisputed  belles  of  the  vil 
lage,  and  the  Winkles  could  never  again  "  look  down "  on 
them,  unless  it  were  from  their  hiding-places. 

It  is  not,  perhaps,  a  singular  idiosiyncrasy  of  our  nature 
to  become  more  condescending  and  complaisant  to  those  be 
neath  us  in  the  social  scale,  after  we  have  levelled  in  the  dust 


204  THE    WINKLES. 

all  who  have  long  towered  above  us.  It  was  so  with  the 
Arums  and  Crudles.  All  little  rivalries  and  jealousies  that 
had  existed  between  them  were  immediately  reconciled  upon 
the  announcement  of  the  elopement,  and  uniting  their  forces, 
they  visited  in  turn  every  acquaintance  they  had  in  the  village, 
for  the  purpose  of  spreading  the  joyful  tidings.  Many  of 
their  own  sex,  who  had  aspired  to  be  their  rivals  in  beauty  and 
accomplishments,  in  the  absence  of  wealth,  and  who  had  often 
incurred  their  enmity,  were  now  familiarly  accosted,  and  the 
news  proclaimed  to  them.  Even  the  shopkeepers'  daughters, 
and  some  few  of  the  mechanics'  wives,  were  informed  by  the 
friendly  belles  of  the  horrible  occurrence.  And  when  they 
ceased  the  round  of  visits — and  such  incessant  visiting  had 
never  been  known  before  in  Babbleton — they  stood  on  their 
marble  steps,  or  promenaded  in  front  of  their  houses,  and  im 
parted  the  glad  tidings  to  any  familiar  pedestrians. 

At  the  ringing  of  the  first  bell  a  hundred  doors  flew  open 
simultaneously,  and  the  street  leading  past  the  widow's  door 
to  the  church,  was  filled  with  men  and  women — mostly  women. 
The  Arums  led  the  procession,  followed  by  the  Crudles. 
They  flaunted  the  magnificent  apparel,  and  the  fantastic 
fashions,  which  had  been  ostentatiously  but  vainly  displayed 
on  the  Sunday  before,  but  which  had  not  escaped  the  particu 
lar  attention  of  Lowe,  as  will  be  seen  immediately. 

And  Lowe,  and  Walter,  and  even  the  merry  widow,  were 
now  delighted  spectators.  They  were  peeping  through  the 
Venetian  blinds,  themselves  unseen. 

On  swept  the  leaders  of  fashion — and  Patty  O'Pan  flirted 
out  into  the  street,  and,  accompanied  by  Bill  Dizzle,  swept 
after  them.  Her  advent  was  announced  by  a  universal  out 
burst  of  laughter.  The  children,  in  particular,  could  not  be 
restrained.  Her  dress  was  precisely  similar  to  the  costly 
ones  of  the  Arums,  and  her  bonnet  and  ribbons,  and  feathers 
and  flowers,  exactly  the  kind  worn  by  the  Crudles.  Bill 
walked  the  curb,  deeming  it  next  to  profanation  to  approach 
within  six  feet  of  such  a  gorgeous  creation.  He  was  dressed 
in  his  "  Sunday  best,"  and  strove  with  all  his  might  to  mani 
fest,  by  his  carriage  and  gestures,  his  great  admiration  of 
Patty. 

The  Arums  and  Crudles  gazed  behind  in  amazement,  and 
irrepressible  anger,  which  was  the  signal  for  a  louder  outburst 
of  merriment  than  ever.  And  then,  discomfited,  and  agitated 


PATTY    O'PAN    OUTSHINE^  THEM    ALL.  205 

with  shame  and  mortification,  they  hastened  to  escape  the 
odious  comparison  by  vanishing  out  of  public  view.  But  even 
the  church  did  not  screen  them,  for  Patty  and  Dizzle  had  ob 
tained  permission  to  occupy  Mr.  Dowly's  pew,  in  full  view  of 
the  congregation,  and  just  across  the  aisle  from  the  Arums. 
There  was  a  buzz  among  the  women  ;  some  angry  looks ;  and 
many  merry  faces.  Lowe  and  Miss  Wilsome  had  done  their 
work  well ;  and  the  habiliments  of  the  rich  parvenus  were  so 
striking,  and  the  imitation  of  Patty  O'Pan  so  perfect  and 
conspicuous,  that  the  comparison  was  inevitable.  Nor,  indeed, 
did  Patty  have  just  cause  to  shrink  from  the  scrutiny  :  for 
nature  had  bestowed  on  her  a  finer  form  than  any  of  her  con 
temptuous  rivals  could  boast.  But  that  did  not  prevent  ma 
lignant  whispers  from  circulating.  She  was  every  thing  that 
was  vile,  and  her  master  a  monster  of  evil.  Of  course,  no 
girl  could  earn  in  an  honest  way  enough  money  to  indulge 
such  extravagancies ;  and  the  brazen  impudence  of  such  an 
exposure,  and  in  a  Christian  church,  was  too  abominable  to 
be  borne.  Such  were  the  thoughts  of  the  indignant  Mrs. 
Arum,  and  she  wrote  them  down  with  her  pencil  on  a  card, 
and  sent  it  to  Mr.  Amble  by  the  sexton. 

"  Good  heavens  ! "  exclaimed  the  minister,  upon  reading 
the  note.  "  What  is  to  be  done  ?  The  church  will  lose  the 
contributions  of  the  Arums  and  Cradles,  if  she  is  not  re 
moved  !  What  shall  I  do  ?  Go,  sexton,  and  tell  this  Patty 
O'Pan  the  pew  she  is  in  belongs  to  Mr.  Dowly,  who  may  ar 
rive  at  any  moment." 

The  sexton,  after  a  short  absence,  reappeared  before  the 
anxious  minister  in  the  vestry  room. 

"  She  says  she  knows  whose  pew  it  is,  sir  ;  and  that  she 
applied  for  permission  to  occupy  it,  and  obtained  it.  And 
she  told  me  to  mind  my  business,  and  not  meddle  with  her 
affairs,  sir." 

"  What  shall  be  done  ?  "  continued  Amble,  wringing  his 
hands.  "  Old  John  Dowly,  poor  as  he  is,  gives  as  much  to 
the  church  as  any  other  man  !  Do  try  and  get  that  Dizzle  boy 
out." 

"  He  shook  his  fist  at  me,  sir  ! " 

"  He  did  ?  I'll  pound  them  in  my  sermon  !  The  pew 
shall  be  made  a  hot  place  for  them ;  and  I'll  contrive  to 
please  the  Arums  and  Crudles.  Here,  take  these  few  lines 
to  Mrs.  Arum.  To  think  this  Patty's  paramour  once  read 


206  tHE   WINKLES. 

the  service  in  my  church  !  And  that  the  Winkles,  who  built 
the  church  originally,  have  disgraced  themselves !  " 

Another  sensation  was  produced  by  the  arrival  of  Mrs. 
Griselda  Winkle's  equipage.  She  descended  in  great  state, 
alone,  being  unattended  by  her  lord,  who  was  never  a  regular 
attendant  at  church,  though  a  regular  contributor  to  its  trea 
sury.  She  floated  in,  richly  dressed,  and  sparkling  with  jewels. 
After  bowing  to  the  Arums  and  Crudles,  and  returning  the 
smiles  of  others,  she  was  startled  upon  taking  possession  of 
her  pew,  at  the  appearance  of  Patty  O'Pan  and  Bill  Dizzle,  in 
her  immediate  vicinity.  Bill  could  stand  it  no  longer,  and  in 
obedience  to  a  look  from  the  imperious  bride,  whose  meaning 
did  not  admit  of  misconstruction,  the  frog-catcher  slunk  quiet 
ly  out  of  the  church,  without  even  attracting  the  notice  of 
Patty,  so  accomplished  was  he  in  the  art  of  creeping  about 
unobserved. 

A  few  moments  sufficed  for  one  of  the  Arums  to  glide 
into  Grriselda's  pew,  and  impart  to  her  the  news.  The  aston 
ished  bride  glanced  at  the  vacant  Winkle  pew,  and  then  ele 
vated  her  eyes  in  a  sort  of  half  exultant  and  half  commiserat 
ing  astonishment.  She  then  frowned  very  fiercely  at  Patty, 
to  whose  splendid  dress  Miss  Arum  had  next  directed  her 
attention.  But  Patty  was  better  nerved  than  Dizzle,  and 
thrust  out  her  nether  lip,  in  open  defiance  of  the  proud  milliner. 
She  even  pointed  significantly  at  her  bonnet,  meaning,  perhaps, 
that  Griselda  herself  was  nothing  better  than  a  milliner. 

Matters  remained  thus  until  every  pew  was  occupied  but 
the  one  where  Lucy  used  to  sit.  No  one  ventured  to  go  into 
it !  But,  just  in  time  to  avoid  being  too  late  to  hear  the  first 
verses  read,  the  widow  Winkle  appeared  at  the  door  with  her 
usual  merry  smile.  And  she  was  attended  by  Lowe  and  Wal 
ter.  They  stepped  forward  deliberately,  and  occupied  the 
vacant  pew  towards  which  so  many  glances  had  been  cast. 
There  was  a  silence,  a  sudden  hush  in  the  congregation,  which 
the  appearance  of  the  minister  had  never  produced.  And  this 
no  one  knew  better  than  Mr.  Amble  himself,  who  stood  silent, 
or  stupefied,  gazing  at  the  widow's  party,  and  particularly  at 
Lowe,  as  if  doubtful  of  his  identity.  And  many  others  did  the 
same,  wondering  if,  after  what  they  had  heard,  it  could  pos 
sibly  be  Mr.  Lowe  himself.  It  seemed  so.  The  Arums  and 
Crudles  could  not  deny  it — and  they  ceased  to  cast  their 
exultant  glances  about,  and  checked  their  significant  smiles. 


A   DULL    SERMON.  207 

Indeed,  from  the  apparent  elongation  of  their  chins,  one  might 
have  supposed  their  pleasantries  had  been  abruptly  annihilated 
by  some  unlooked-for  vexation. 

The  sermon  was  a  dull  one,  for  Mr.  Amble  was  obliged  to 
deviate  from  the  subject  he  had  selected  with  a  view  of  in 
directly  referring  to  the  recent  occurrence,  which  had  been  the 
topic  of  his  parishioners.  He  saw  that  there  was  some  mistake 
in  the  matter ;  and  there  could  hardly  be  any  foundation  for 
the  report  which  implicated  Mr.  Lowe,  since  he  had  accom 
panied  Lucy's  mother  to  church.  Nor  did  Mrs.  Winkle's  and 
Walter's  placid  countenances  indicate  that  Lucy  had  taken 
any  step  calculated  to  plunge  them  in  misery. 

After  the  sermon,  Griselda  hastened  out  of  the  church  and 
ordered  the  coachman  to  drive  her  home  without  delay.  She 
was  too  wise  to  be  identified  with  any  of  the  parties  until  she 
could  know  precisely  the  true  state  of  affairs. 

The  Arums  and  Crudles  were  again  subjected  to  the  mor 
tification  of  having  to  share  the  admiration  of  the  public  with 
Patty  O'Pan.  And  that  the  cause  of  their  annoyance  might 
not  be  absent  from  their  sight,  Patty  chose,  this  time,  to  keep 
immediately  in  front  of  them,  still  attended  by  Dizzle  at  an 
awfully  respectful  distance  from  her  elbow. 

The  Arums  and  Crudles  did  not  attend  the  afternoon 
services,  but  remained  at  home  venting  their  censures  on  the 
sexton,  Lowe,  Dowly,  and  even  on  Mr.  Amble  himself,  as  if 
it  had  been  his  duty  to  keep  such  cattle  as  Patty  O'Pan  in 
their  proper  places. 

But  in  the  afternoon  Col.  Oakdale's  carriage  drove  up  to 
the  church-yard  gate,  and  Walter  had  the  satisfaction  of  seeing 
Virginia  descend  from  it.  He  had  stepped  forward  to  assist 
her  in  alighting,  but  was  anticipated  by  Roland,  who  had  ac 
companied  her  and  her  father  from  the  country.  Walter 
shook  hands  as  usual  with  Roland,  being  still  profoundly 
ignorant  of  his  wicked  machinations. 

The  colonel,  after  his  daughter  and  Roland  had  entered  the 
door,  plucked  Walter  aside,  and  encouraged  him  to  persevere 
in  his  design  of  aiming  a  fatal  blow  at  the  fanatical  reformers, 
at  the  great  meeting  to  be  held  at  the  court-house  in  Babble- 
ton  on  the  following  night.  The  colonel  owed  Roland  some 
$10,000,  and  although  they  were  opposed  to  each  other  in 
politics,  of  course  friendly  personal  relations  had  always  sub 
sisted  between  them.  And  if  the  colonel  himself  did  not 


208  THE   WINKLES. 

choose  to  come  in  conflict  with  his  creditor  on  the  stump,  he 
had  no  hesitation  in  stimulating  others  to  do  so.  Besides,  it 
was  supposed  he  aspired  to  a  seat  in  the  U.  S.  Senate,  and  the 
choice  was  to  be  made  at  the  next  session  of  the  legislature. 
Walter  promised  to  do  his  utmost ;  and  the  fact  that  Roland 
had  monopolized  the  attention  of  Virginia,  was  not  calculated 
to  produce  an  abandonment  of  his  purpose. 


CHAPTER   XIX. 

PREACHING    OF   THE   POET  — SNOBSON'S   RAPTURE   WITH   HIS 
SWEETHEART. 

IT  was  on  Monday,  in  the  afternoon,  and  at  night  Walter  was 
to  make  his  maiden  speech  before  a  thousand  auditors.  He 
sat  beside  his  mother  near  the  parlor  window,  gazing  thought 
fully  into  the  street. 

"  I  am  glad,  Walter,"  said  his  parent,  referring  to  the 
subject  upon  which  they  had  been  conversing,  "  that  your 
brave  heart  is  not  appalled  at  the  picture  I  .have  drawn." 

"  It  will  only  stimulate  me  to  greater  efforts,  mother.  I 
see,  now,  the  necessity  of  exertion  to  supply  the  deficiencies 
of  fortune.  My  uncle,  and  even  Aunt  Wilsomc,  might  be 
applied  to  successfully ;  but  it  would  be  repugnant  to  my  feel 
ings  to  demand  assistance  from  either  of  them.  Gusset  will 
endeavor  to  secure  my  uncle's  fortune  for  herself,  and  my 
aunt  will  marry ;  indeed,  as  I  have  told  you,  she  would  have 
been  married  before  this,  if  my  friend  had  not  been  devoid  of 
the  mercenary  spirit  which  appears  to  have  actuated  Griselda. 
The  future,  truly,  seems  to  be  dark  enough.  I  cannot  hope 
to  obtain  Col.  Oakdale's  consent  to  wed  Virginia.  I  am  poor, 
and  his  estate  encumbered ;  and  besides,  his  creditor,  Roland, 
the  wealthy  Roland,  is  in  all  probability  a  rival  suitor.  But 
I  will  not  despair.  Never  fear  that.  I  will,  perhaps,  be 
more  thoughtful,  and  more  observant  of  opportunities  to  make 
my  way  in  the  world  than  formerly ;  but  I  shall  continue  to 
be  merry,  nevertheless.  I  inherited  it  from  you,  mother,  and 
a  more  valuable  heritage  could  not  have  been  bequeathed  me." 


THE   POET'S    SHIRT.  209 

"  Yes.  A  merry  heart  is  more  likely  to  achieve  success 
than  a  despondent  one." 

"  I  wish  you  could  be  present  to-night !  Burning  thoughts 
are  flitting  through  my  brain.  I  feel  that  I  shall  make  an 
impression  on  my  hearers.  No  immediate  benefit  may  result 
from  it ;  but  it  will  serve  to  convince  you  that  my  education 
was  not  in  vain,  and  that  depressing  circumstances  can  never 
subdue  my  spirit !  " 

"  I  have  high  hopes  of  you,  Walter.  And  I  shall  believe 
that  whatever  may  be  uttered  by  you  to-night  will  come  from 
the  heart." 

"  It  will,  mother.  I  have  long  felt  an  urgent  desire  for  an 
opportunity  to  aid  in  the  annihilation  of  false  projects,  started 
by  the  demagogues  to  captivate  the  unreflecting  understand 
ings  of  the  multitude.  To-night  it  will  be  afforded  me.  I 
care  not  who  may  be  offended>af  I  be  the  advocate  of  Truth, 
and  the  enemy  of  fanatics  and  fools.  If  Roland  takes  offence, 
Colonel  Oakdale  will  be  pleased.  So  in  point  of  interest, 
even, — which,  however,  I  should  not  regard, — I  can  have 
nothing  to  fear." 

"  '  Be  just,  and  fear  not,'  you  know,  is  the  recommendation 
of  your  favorite  poet.  But  do  not '  set  down  aught  in  malice.'  " 

u  I  am  no  man's  enemy.  See  !  yonder  comes  my  friend 
Pollen!  Mother,  you  know  him.  We  will  entertain  him. 
He  comes  this  way.  His  hat  is  old — it  was  new  but  yester 
day — and  his  coat  is  soiled  and  buttoned  up  to  the  neck,  as 
when  I  first  met  him.  He  is  in  distress,  mother;  and  he 
might  have  been  rich,  but  for  his  disinterested  sense  of  pro 
priety.  Pollen  !  how  do  you  do,  old  fellow?  " 

"  Not  very  well,  in  purse  and  stomach,  if  you  would  have 
the  truth ;  and  nothing  else  can  be  extorted  from  me.  May 
I  come  in  ?  " 

"  The  door  is  open  ;  if  not,  break  it  down,  or  come  through 
the  window." 

The  poet  had  most  cordial  salutations  from  both  the 
mother  and  the  son.  His  hunger  was  satisfied,  and  he  was 
furnished  with  the  same  shirt  of  Walter's  he  had  worn  on  a 
former  occasion,  and  which  its  owner  had  declared  should 
never  be  used  by  any  one  else. 

"  Oh  that  I  were  an  apostle,  or  other  accredited  ambassa 
dor  of  the  Most  High !  "  said  the  poet,  upon  occupying  a 


210  THE   WINKLES. 

cliair  at  the  parlor  window,  and  gazing  at  the  people  passing 
from  the  boat. 

"  Why,  Pollen  ?  "  demanded  Walter. 

"  I  would  go  into  the  street,  and  erect  another  altar  to  the 
unknown  God,  and  worship  there.  This  generation  of  fools 
have  forgotten  their  Maker,  and  bow  only  to  the  golden  calf. 
Some  think  themselves  honest  and  religious — and  so  did  the 
silly  worshippers  of  the  false  god.  But  they  had  Moses  and 
Aaron  to  denounce  their  idol ;  whilst  many  of  our  monitors 
never  fail  to  share  the  treasure,  and  beg  for  more  !  The  great 
Creator  made  the  gold  ;  and  if  they  worship  the  metal,  instead 
of  its  author,  it  follows  that  the  true  God  must  be  unknown. 
Therefore,  I  would  erect  another  altar  to  the  unknown  God." 

"  Go  on,  Pollen,"  said  Walter ;  "  let  your  ideas  flow  freely 
under  the  inspiration  of  the  hour.  I  may  avail  myself  of 
some  of  them  to-night." 

"  Money,  money !  We  see  the  image  of  human  faces  on 
the  coins  and  on  the  bank-bills.  Wherefore  ?  But  I  can  see 
money  in  men's  faces  !  Poetry  is  seen  in  the  frensied  eye ; 
heroism  in  the  calm  lip  and  lofty  brow ;  love  in  the  languish 
ing  gaze ;  hatred  in  the  frown,  and  pleasure  in  the  smile ;  and 
as  plainly  as  these  are  perceptible,  I  can  distinguish  the  base 
image  of  the  dollar  in  the  faces  of  nearly  all.  I  see  approach 
ing  now  a  millionnaire.  His  face  is  very  familiar.  See  his 
harsh  gesticulation,  and  his  rapidly  moving  lips.  Would  you 
not  know  his  thoughts  ?  I  can  read  them." 

"  Read  them,"  said  Walter. 

"  He  supposes  himself  to  have  been  the  most  miserable 
man  among  the  passengers  on  the  boat.  He  is  a  usurer,  and 
a  speculator.  Yesterday,  if  he  had  made  a  certain  invest 
ment,  when  the  opportunity  offered,  his  income  would  have 
been  greater  than  that  of  any  man  in  the  city.  Now,  the  in 
comes  of  two  or  three  surpass  his,  and  he  is  truly  miserable. 
But,  fortunately,  he  has  not  the  pride  nor  the  happiness  of 
the  poor  merchant  following  him.  The  merchant,  although 
wielding  thousands  of  money  not  belonging  to  him,  is  believed 
here  to  be  wealthy.  To  undeceive  them,  would  be  destruc 
tion.  In  the  city  he  expended  $6,000  per  annum — here,  only 
$2,000,  and  still  maintains  a  better  style  than  most  of  his 
neighbors.  Hence  his  happiness.  Next  comes  a  broker's 
clerk,  who  will  tell  you  all  about  the  banks,  and  the  sum  total 
of  his  disbursements  yesterday.  On  a  moderate  salary,  he 


MONEY,    THE    GOLDEN    GOD.  211 

makes  a  better  show,  and  is  more  respected  than  his  landlord. 
The  next  in  order,  the  shopkeepers  and  the  mechanics — are 
more  genteel  in  costume  than  the  millionnaire.  Their  superi 
ority  consists  in  the  fact  that  they  chance  to  have  semi-rural 
residences;  while  others  of  their  class,  less  fortunate  than 
themselves,  are  compelled  to  drag  out  a  monotonous  life  in 
the  city — ever  languishing  at  their  counters  and  benches. 
But  money,  more  or  less,  is  distinguishable  in  the  faces  of 
all.  Where  there  is  none,  all  is  blank,  or  dark  and  gloomy. 
No — I  see  a  few  exceptions." 

"  The  Quakers  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  No,  sir,  no  !  I  see,  too,  the  approaching  group  of  meek 
and  pious  Friends.  I  have  seen  them  often.  Money  has 
made  its  deepest  indentures  on  the  faces  of  most  of  them. 
On  the  boat,  or  in  the  cars,  their  thoughts  and  words  refer 
exclusively  to  the  golden  god.  Buying  and  selling — the 
prices  of  commodities — the  profits  or  losses  on  certain  opera 
tions — the  eagerness  to  acquire,  the  fear  to  lose ;  such  are 
their  topics  !  Religious,  yet  regardless  of  the  decalogue ; 
meek  and  inoffensive,  yet  practising  usury ;  philanthropists, 
yet  contemning  all  laws,  human  and  divine,  which  do  not  ac 
cord  with  the  secret  promptings  in  their  own  breasts." 

"  You  say  nothing  of  the  ladies,"  remarked  Walter. 

"  It  were  best  to  say  nothing.  Pictures — mere  pictures. 
The  good  are  in  Heaven !  I  know  one  who  is  there !  No 
matter.  Yonder  doll  will  toss  her  head,  and  tell  you  her 
father  is  a  banker.  She  need  say  no  more.  Worshippers 
will  cast  themselves  at  her  feet, — I  mean  such  as  have  a  less 
share  of  the  golden  calf  than  herself.  But  yonder  comes  one 
who  has  more,  and  he  ceases  to  worship  her  and  turns  away." 

"  Snobson  ! "  exclaimed  Walter,  seeing  the  young  man  ap 
proaching  alone.  "  But  your  exceptions,  Pollen,  who  are 
they?" 

"  The  contented  farmer,  or  student,  or  the  gardener,  who 
delights  in  the  perfect  productions  of  nature " 

«  Such  is  Dibble  !  " 

"  No  matter.  He  is  deservedly  happy.  The  teacher,  who 
is  contented  with  a  moderate  salary ;  the  calm  philosopher ; 
the  innocent  theorist ;  the  man  of  imagination,  who  builds 
castles  in  the  air,  and  inhabits  them  himself,  provided  he  has 
a  substantial  larder ;  all  who  exercise  the  nobler  impulses  of 
the  heart,  enfranchised  from  the  restraints  imposed  bv  the 


212  THE  WINKLES. 

golden  calf.  And  such  can  only  be  the  case  in  rural  districts, 
where  the  air  is  uncontaminated.  In  the  city,  incessant 
money -making  must  ever  prevent  the  people  from  meditating 
on  loftier  subjects.  Thus,  you  see  the  difference  between 
town  and  country.  Snobson  is  coming  here." 

"  Yes  ;  come  in,  Snobson  !  "  cried  Walter.  "  Don't  hesi 
tate.  Pollen  and  I  are  alone." 

"  I'm  glad  of  it,"  said  Snobson,  joining  them.  "  I  want 
to  tell  you  how  I've  been  made  a  fool  of." 

"  Oh,  you  need  not  tell  us  that !  "  said  Walter. 

"  Have  you  heard  it  already  ?  No — it  would  be  impossi 
ble.  But  before  I  begin — it's  all  a  lie,  ain't  it,  about  your 
sister  eloping  with  Mr.  Lowe  ?  I  know  it  is,  for  I  just  now 
saw  Mr.  Lowe  enter  his  own  door.  The  Arums  and  Crudles, 
I  suspect,  raised  the  report." 

"  Why,  Snobson  !  how  does  it  happen  that  you  are  so  sav 
age  on  the  Arums  and  Crudles  ? " 

"  I'll  tell  you  all  about  it.  I  was  completely  taken  in, 
and  fascinated,  before  I  had  time  to  think." 

"  The  artful  nymphs  !  "  said  Pollen. 

"  You  may  say  so — but  they  were  outwitted  at  last,  as  you 
shall  hear.  I  was  bewildered  with  their  playing,  their  sing 
ing,  and  their  dressing.  Don't  they  dress  !  And  when  they 
flirted  their  pretty  little  feet,  I  could  not  help,  accidentally 
you  know,  seeing  the  magnificent  borders  of  their  petticoats  ! 
Parke  was  cooler  than  me.  He  don't  mind  such  things.  But 
I  was  carried  by  storm,  as  Sergeant  Blore  says.  I  was  in  a 
quandary.  I  didn't  know  which  to  have.  They  settled  it, 
however.  After  a  little  hair-pulling  in  the  next  room,  the 
victorious  one,  the  youngest,  came  to  me,  and  waited  until  I 
proposed.  I  was  snapped  up,  and  the  matter  was  laid  before 
our  parents,  who  were  perfectly  willing,  provided  the  condi 
tions  and  terms  could  be  made  to  suit  them.  What  do  you 
think  our  fathers  proposed  ?  " 

"  Dollars,"  said  Pollen. 

"  You  are  not  far  wrong.  My  father  authorized  me  to  say 
to  Mr.  Arum  that  my  allowance  of  five  hundred  dollars  per 
annum  would  be  continued,  and  that  my  wife  would  be  intro 
duced  into  the  society  his  family  frequented — which  is  better 
than  that  she  has  been  accustomed  to." 

"  And  what  did  her  father  propose  ?  "  asked  Walter. 


POLLEN'S  SPEECH  ENDED.  2~U 

"  Why,  to  defray  one  half  the  expense  of  furnishing  j 
house  for  us  !  " 

u  And  you  were  to  live  on  love  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  No— dollars  !  "  said  Pollen. 

"  Yes  ;  and  they  were  to  come  all  from  one  side.  He  re 
quired  my  father  to  make  me  a  partner  in  the  hanking-house 
with  a  capital  of  fifty  thousand  dollars,  and  to  introduce  mj 
wife  and  all  his  family  to  our  friends  !  The  expense  of  living 
was  to  be  defrayed  by  my  share  of  the  profits,  and  he  was  tc 
have  one  expensive  daughter  off  his  hands !  That's  whal 
my  father  says.  So,  seeing  I  would  have  nothing  more  thac 
my  five  hundred  dollars — except  the  wife  and  the  house — I 
backed  out.  It  is  too  small  a  sum  for  two,  and  you  know  I 
have  my  boarding  and  lodging  for  nothing  while  single.  I'll 
stay  single,  till  one  or  the  other  of  the  old  governors  drops 

«  But  what  did  the  lady  say  ?  "  asked  Walter. 
"  She  was  as  willing  as  myself  to  be  off,  because  she  had 
expected  a  large  fortune  all  at  once." 
Tea  was  now  announced. 


CHAPTER    XX. 

A  KEFOKM  MEETING,  AND  WALTER'S  SPEECH— BLOKE'S  ESCAPE  FROM 
HIS  WIFE. 

THE  court-house  was  illuminated  with  gas  and  filled  with  peo 
ple.  The  poor  had  been  brought  thither  by  the  friends  of 
Roland,  and  the  rich  had  come  for  the  purpose  of  hearing  the 
son  of  their  late  friend,  Mr.  Winkle,  who  had  been  their  re 
spected  representative  in  Congress. 

Roland,  at  the  conclusion  of  his  speech,  remarked  that  he 
had  understood  he  was  to  be  followed  and  replied  to  by  his 
youthful  friend,  who  volunteered  to  address  the  people  in  be 
half  of  Mr.  Plastic,  his  opponent.  He  requested  that  he 
might  have  a  patient  hearing,  if  for  no  other  reason,  as  a  mark 
of  respect  for  the  memory  of  his  father,  who  had  served  his 
country  well.  But,  at  the  same  time,  it  should  be  remembered 


214  THE   WINKLES. 

that  his  lamented  father  had  never  been  known  to  interpose 
any  obstacles  to  the  wholesome  reforms  demanded  by  his  con 
stituents  ;  and  there  could  be  no  doubt,  if  he  were  still  alive, 
and  present  on  that  occasion,  he  would  be  found  on  the  side  of 
the  people,  and  in  opposition  to  his  own  son. 

Walter  rose  up  with  a  composed  countenance,  and  thanked 
his  more  experienced  friend  for  his  handsome  introduction  of 
the  son  of  his  father ;  and  the  first  sentence,  uttered  with  a 
peculiar  sort  of  gravity,  produced  a  burst  of  laughter,  which 
was  not  at  all  relished  by  Roland. 

"  Fellow-citizens,"  continued  Walter,  "  I  have  listened,  as 
you  did,  in  silence  and  astonishment  to  the  intimation  of  the 
speaker,  that  the  son  of  my  father  was  inimical  to  wholesome 
reforms.  I  deny  it ! "  Great  applause  followed  his  denial. 
"  On  the  opium  question,  I  am  prepared  to  denounce  all  who 
indulge  in  the  excessive  use  of  the  drug.  And  as  our  courts 
have  decided  that,  the  legislature  have  the  power  to  prohibit 
its  use  as  a  mere  stimulant,  without  the  prescription  of  a  phy 
sician,  I  have  not  one  word  to  utter  in  opposition  to  such  a 
law,  although  I  cannot  see  precisely  how  my  friend  can  serve 
his  prohibitory  friends  in  Congress,  further  than  to  pledge 
himself  to  abstain  from  the  use  of  the  narcotic  poison  during 
his  abode  in  the  federal  city." 

"  Sir  ! "  exclaimed  Roland,  "  I  do  not  use  the  drug  at 
all." 

"  Neither  does  the  son  of  my  father,"  said  Walter,  amidst 
much  laughter  from  the  rich  side  of  his  audience.  "  I  am 
prepared  to  denounce  it.  Its  evils  are  monstrous  and  incal 
culable  ;  and  I  am  informed  by  a  friend  on  my  left,  a  gentle 
man  whose  name  is  not  unknown  to  American  or  English  ad 
mirers  of  genius " 

"  Especially  the  English,"  said  Pollen ;  "  a  prophet  is  not 
without  honor,  save  in  his  own  country." 

"  True.  I  am  informed,  I  say,  that  some  of  the  brightest 
intellects  that  have  illuminated  the  woild  by  their  works,  have 
been  prematurely  darkened,  and  ultimately  destroyed,  by  the 
pernicious  stimulant.  Such  was  the  case  with  Coleridge  and 
De  Quincey — men,  whose  names  can  never  die.  To  such  an 
extent  did  Coleridge  indulge,  that  the  cost  of  the  drug  con 
sumed  by  him  amounted  to  seven  hundred  dollars  annu 
ally  ! » 

"  Huzza  ! "   cried  the  zealous  prohibitionists  ;  "  he  is  not 


WALTER'S  SPEECH.  215 

against  us !  Roland  was  mistaken !  "  Roland  in  truth  was 
puzzled. 

"  Against  you?  "  continued  Walter — "  No  !  So  far  from 
it,  I  am  for  reforming  or  abolishing  every  evil  which  afflicts 
our  race.  And  if  the  law  can  reach  one  of  them,  I  contend 
it  may  be  applied  to  all." 

"  Certainly  !  "  cried  the  zealous  prohibitionists. 

"  Well,  then  ;  I  hold  in  my  hand  a  statement  made  by 
some  of  our  most  eminent  medical  professors,  declaring  that 
the  wearing  of  thin  shoes  causes  more  diseases  and  death, 
than  the  use  of  opium." 

"  Prohibit  them  ! "  cried  a  great  many. 

"  And,  next  to  thin-soled  shoes,  the  abominable  practice 
of  tight-lacing  produces  thousands  of  fatal  cases  of  consump 
tion." 

"Abolish  it !  Make  it  unlawful  for  the  women  to  be 
squeezed  by  any  thing  else  than  our  arms  !  "  cried  the  multi 
tude. 

"  Such  a  law  would,  at  least,"  said  Walter,  "  be  constitu 
tional." 

"  Good  !  "  said  Pollen,  amid  hearty  laughter. 

"  But  if  we  have  the  power  to  prohibit  such  evils  as  I  have 
enumerated,  surely  we  possess  the  authority  to  reform  the 
whole  catalogue.  Have  we  not  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  was  the  almost  unanimous  response. 

"  Well,  then,  I  will  tell  you  what  is  the  greatest  evil  suf 
fered  by  man.  It  causes  honest  hearts  to  break,  widows  and 
helpless  children  to  languish  in  hopeless  misery ;  the  good 
man  to  weep ;  the  philosopher  to  complain ;  the  poet  to  shiver ; 
the  watch- dog  to  howl " 

"  What  is  it  ?     Down  with  it !  "  cried  many. 

"  It  robs  the  virgin  of  her  only  priceless  jewel ;  the  noblest 
citizen  of  his  honor  ;  the  honest  laborer  of  his  rest " 

"  What  the  d 1  is  it  ?  "  cried  a  hundred  shoemakers,  and 

as  many  laborers  on  the  railroad. 

"  It  causes  men  to  steal,  to  murder,  to  commit  suicide,  and 
finally  ingulfs  them  in  eternal  perdition.  It  is  POVERTY  ! " 

"  Down  with  it !  down  with  it !  "  cried  all  but  the  rich, 
who  were  silent. 

"  This  parent  of  evils,"  continued  Walter,  "  may  be  re 
moved  as  well  as  the  rest,  and  on  the  same  principle.  I  pro 
pose,  therefore,  that  the  organization  of  Reformers  append  to 


216  THE   WINKLES. 

their  catalogue  of  measures  the  following  resolutions.  First : 
After  the  expiration  of  twelve  months,  it  shall  not  be  lawful 
for  any  man  to  possess  over  half  a  million  of  dollars,  and  the 
overplus  shall  go  into  the  public  treasury  to  educate,  feed,  and 
clothe  the  poor." 

This  was  rapturously  applauded  by  all  but  two  or  three, 
who  frowned  indignantly. 

"  Second,"  continued  "Walter—"  At  the  end  of  the  second 
year,  no  individual  shall  possess  over  one  hundred  thousand 
dollars — the  surplus  to  be  applied  as  aforesaid." 

This  likewise  was  approved  by  nearly  all  present. 

"  At  the  end  of  the  third  year,  no  person  shall  have  over 
ten  thousand  dollars." 

A  vast  majority  sanctioned  this,  and  Walter  was  hailed  as 
the  greatest  of  all  reformers. 

"  At  the  end  of  the  fourth,  no  one  shall  possess  more  than 
one  thousand  dollars ;  but  those  who  have  contributed  to  the 
treasury,  shall  be  permitted  to  draw  upon  it  for  the  amount 
of  their  expenses,  of  whatever  kind,  incident  to  an  economical 
and  wholesome  system  of  living." 

"  Huzza  !  "  cried  a  majority,  but  not  more  than  a  majority ; 
while  the  rest  manifested  their  disapprobation  by  hisses. 

"  After  that,"  continued  Walter,  "  no  man  shall  possess 
over  five  hundred  dollars " 

Here  his  voice  was  lost  in  the  storm  of  hisses  and  groans 
that  issued  from  all  parts  of  the  house ;  the  opponents  of  any 
further  reform  being  evidently  in  the  majority. 

"  That's  going  a  little  too  far,"  said  a  carpenter.  "  We, 
who  go  with  our  sleeves  rolled  up,  have,  many  of  us,  more 
than  that  sum  already,  and  we  expect  to  increase  it." 

"  No,  my  friends,"  said  Walter  with  sudden  impetuosity, 
u  let  us  not  stop  short  of  a  thorough  reform.  Let  us  eradi 
cate  the  evils  which  have  cursed  every  community  in  almost 
every  age  and  country.  Let  us  be  Christians  in  reality ;  let 
us  abolish  individual  titles — let  us  give  up  all  into  a  common 
treasury,  and  live  in  social  equality,  like  a  vast  harmonious 
family,  and  be  henceforth  truly  brothers  I  " 

"  That's  d d  nonsense  !  "  said  the  carpenter,  the  shoe 
makers,  and  the  railroad  laborers.  "  He  would  have  us  mess 
with  the  niggers  ! "  The  quakers  fled  away  disgusted.  In 
short,  the  condemnation  of  the  resolutions  was  nearly  unani- 
mous. 


CONCLUSION    OF    THE    SPEECH.  21? 

"  Be  patient,  fellow-citizens,"  cried  Walter,  with  earnest 
enthusiasm,  "  until  you  have  heard  me  through.  I  rejoice  in 
the  manifestations  I  have  witnessed " 

"  We  have  condemned  you,"  said  a  voice. 

"  No,  sir ;  it  was  announced  that  my  speech  was  to  be  in 
opposition  to  the  extravagant  projects  of  the  fanatical  reform- 
ers ;  and  I  think  it  has  not  been  without  its  effect !  " 

"  Listen  !  "  shouted  the  people.  "He  was  not  in  earnest ! 
He  is  not  in  favor  of  any  such  nonsense  !  " 

"  No,  fellow-citizens,  I  am  not  in  favor  of  any  such  mad 
schemes  of  reform.  If  all  were  equal  in  wealth  and  influence 
to-day,  it  would  not  be  so  to-morrow.  Grod  made  men  with 
unequal  powers,  as  the  mountains  and  trees  are  of  unequal 
dimensions.  And  he  who  attempts  to  extirpate  evil  from 
the  world,  must  become  greater  than  the  one  who  permitted 
it  to  exist,  before  he  can  expect  to  achieve  success.  Let  our 
preachers  and  moral  teachers  denounce  the  vices  they  would 
suppress,  and  persuade  such  men  as  they  can,  to  abandon 
them,  .for  their  own  good,  here  and  hereafter,  as  a  matter  of 
conviction  and  duty  :  but  let  them  beware,  that  they  do  not 
erect  an  inquisition  which  will  torture  themselves !  Human 
laws  cannot  prevent  men  from  destroying  themselves,  and 

foing  to  hell,  if  they  see  proper.  Like  the  Jacobins  of 
Vance,  the  silly  reformers  in  our  country,  if  they  possessed 
the  power,  would,  after  destroying  the  fabric  of  liberty,  and 
overthrowing  the  foundations  of  society,  prey  upon  themselves. 
The  same  principle  which  would  prevent  a  man  from  keeping 
opium  in  his  house,  would  prohibit  a  rich  man  from  possessing 
over  a  million  of  dollars,  and  a  poor  one  from  having  more 
than  fifty." 

"  It's  all  a  humbug,  I  believe  !  "  said  the  carpenter. 
"  It  is  worse  than  that !  "  said  Walter.  "  For  some  of 
our  preachers  are  becoming  politicians,  while  the  devil  is 
driving  away  their  flocks.  Reform  lectures  are  delivered  by 
the  lazy  itinerants,  who  levy  contributions;  and  books  are 
published  in  the  name  of  piety,  and  a  pure  morality,  for  a 
certain  profit  in  money.  The  designing  authors  are  pa 
tronized  by  the  preachers,  as  moral  teachers  and  laborers 
in  a  holy  cause  !  thus  making  merchandise  of  religion,  and 
presumptuously  using  the  name  of  their  Maker  in  vain  !  Hy 
pocrites  !  who  wear  a  mask  of  godliness  for  the  purpose  of 
making  money  !  " 
10 


218  THE    WINKLES. 

Colonel  Oakdale,  at  the  conclusion  of  Walter's  speech,  ran 
to  him,  and  folded  him  in  his  arms.  Great  enthusiasm  per 
vaded  the  entire  assembly,  and  Roland  was  hooted  out  as  a 
demagogue. 

Walter,  Pollen,  and  even  Snobson,  who  turned  pale  and 
begged  in  vain  to  be  excused,  were  carried  amid  shouts  of 
applause  on  the  shoulders  of  the  people  to  the  widow  Winkle's 
mansion. 

Old  Mr.  Dowly,  who  had  been  at  the  court-house,  and 
heard  every  thing,  had  preceded  the  uproarious  crowd  to  the 
widow's,  and  prepared  her  for  their  reception ;  and  when  the 
young  gentlemen  descended  from  the  shoulders  of  their  sup 
porters,  they  were  smilingly  met  by  the  happy  American  ma 
tron. 

"  Walter,  my  son,"  said  she,  after  the  echoes  of  the  last 
round  of  cheers  had  died  away,  "  I  fear  you  have  damaged  the 
prospects  of  the  reformers,  and  made  Mr.  Roland  your  enemy 
for  life." 

"  '  Be  just  and  fear  not,'  you  know,  mother.  But  I  con 
sidered  him  my  enemy  before." 

"  Why  so  ?  "  asked  both  the  widow  and  old  John  Dowly. 

"  Because  he  has  been  endeavoring  to  supplant  me  at  the 
Colonel's,"  said  Walter,  in  a  low  tone.  "  I  did  hope  Greorge 
Parke  would  be  there  to  watch  him.  But  he  is  in  the  city  with 
Julia  Nitre." 

It  was  warm,  and  as  the  party  sat  before  the  open  windows, 
they  were  startled,  from  time  to  time,  by  the  voice  of  Lowe's 
housekeeper,  who  seemed  to  be  searching  for  some  one  in  the 
street,  although  the  darkness  was  intense. 

"  Hit  his  hutterly  himpossible  for  you  to  hezcape  me  ! 
Whare  hare  you  ?  You  needn't  try  to  ide  !  I  know  hevery 
air  hof  your  ead !  Stand  still,  I  say,  hor  I'll  skin  you  alive 
when  I  catch  you.  Why  don't  you  speak,  hand  let  me  know 
where  you  hare  ?  " 

"  That  is  poor  old  Mrs.  Edwards,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 
"  Who  can  she  be  playing  hide-and-seek  with  ?  " 

Walter,  who  had  discerned  a  singular  thumping  on  the 
hard  ground,  and  along  the  fence,  during  the  speech  of  Mrs. 
Edwards,  began  to  suspect  who  it  was  the  pertinacious  woman 
was  pursuing.  And  sure  enough,  the  next  moment  the  head 
of  Sergeant  Blore  was  lifted  slowly  above  the  sill  of  the  win 
dow,  and  within  a  few  inches  of  him. 


A  SUFFERER  AT  WATERLOO.          219 

"  It's  me.  Don't  give  the  alarm,"  whispered  Blore. 
"  She's  in  chase  of  me,  and  if  I'm  taken,  she'll  show  me  no 
quarter.  I  was  afraid  to  ring.  Here  she  comes  !  Help  me 
in !  "  The  window  was  low,  and  by  dint  of  much  struggling, 
and  with  the  assistance  of  Walter,  the  old  war-worn  veteran 
succeeded  in  making  a  lodgment  in  the  parlor. 

"  I  must  take  my  leave,  now,"  said  Snobson.  "  I  hear  the 
cars.  Good  evening,  Mrs.  Winkle.  I  did  hope  to  have  the 
pleasure  of  being  entertained  by  Miss  Lucy,  and  I  am  sorry 
she  is  away  on  a  visit.  Please  give  my  respects  to  her  when 
she  comes  home.  Father  says  if  the  Arums  had  only  the 
standing  of  the  Winkles — but  no  matter — good  night." 

"  He's  an  irreclaimable  puppy !  "  said  Pollen,  as  Snobson 
withdrew  hastily.  "  He  talk  of  being  entertained,  and  about 
the  high  circles  !  Why,  I  have  heard  his  grandfather  was  a 
porter  on  the  wharf,  and  rolled  about  the  sugar  hogsheads  in 
his  shirt-sleeves." 

"  I  received  your  letter,  sergeant,"  said  Walter,  "  and 
must  apologize  for  not  answering  it.  But  you  know  I  had  to 
prepare  my  speech." 

"  I  know — I  know  ;  and  a  famous  good  one  it  was.  You 
gave  the  Jacobins  a  first-rate  lashing." 

"  Sergeant,"  said  Pollen,  "  how  is  it  that  you  are  a 
Frenchman  in  every  thing  but  your  nativity  ?  Are  you  an 
American,  or  an  Englishman  ?  " 

"  An  American,  sir.  My  father  was  a  sea-captain,  and 
accompanied  Napoleon  to  Egypt.  I  was  with  him,  and  ran 
away  to  follow  the  fortunes  of  the  great  general.  I  was  hid 
two  days  in  the  pyramids,  sir." 

"  That  is  a  solution  of  the  mystery.  And  I  am  told  you 
were  among  the  sufferers  at  Waterloo." 

"  I  lost  some  of  my  limbs  there,  sir ;  but  I  always  thought 
I  had  been  extremely  lucky,  sir,  by  my  losses  there,  until 
lately." 

"  The  sergeant,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle,  "  thought  he  had  lost 
Mrs.  Blore  in  that  engagement." 

"  I  curse  my  evil  stars,"  said  Blore,  "  that  she  escaped. 
She  is  Hinglish,  sir,  as  you  might  have  known,  if  you  had 
been  listening  a  while  ago." 

"  Oh,  it  was  her  I  heard  in  the  street  ?  " 

"  Where's  my  usband  ?     His  he  hat  your  ouse,  Mrs.  Win- 


220  THE   WINKLES. 

kle  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Edwards,  standing  out  in  the  middle  of  the 
street. 

"  Hist !     Don't  betray  me,  madam  !  "  said  the  sergeant. 

"Which  one  of  your  husbands,  Mrs.  Edwards?"  asked 
Walter. 

"  My  first  usband." 

"  If  your  first  husband  be  living,"  continued  Walter,  "  I 
would  advise  you  not  to  confess  it.  You  may  be  liable  to 
prosecution  for  bigamy,  and  you  know  the  penalty." 

This  was  succeeded  by  a  long  silence,  and  no  doubt  the 
old  woman  had  retreated  in  alarm. 

"  Thank  you,  Walter  !  "  said  Blore.  "  I  won't  forget  this 
good  service.  A  discharge  from  your  battery  has  effectually 
repulsed  her.  But  I  want  to  tell  you  the  condition  of  the 
siege  at  your  uncle's." 

"  What  is  the  matter  there,  sergeant  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Win 
kle.  "  You  need  not  hesitate  to  speak — all  here  are  my 
brother's  friends." 

"  Why,  you  see,  madam,  we  were  making  preparations  to 
have  the  battle  of  Waterloo  over  again,  when  she — I  mean 
the  commander's  spouse — countermanded  it,  and  would  not 
consent  to  the  engagement,  unless  the  general  would  first 
make  his  will.  That  was  no  unreasonable  thing  in  itself,  and 
he  was  perfectly  willing  to,  if  it  could  be  done  without  giv 
ing  her  cause  of  offence.  You  know,  madam,  he  never  gives 
offence  to  any  one,  and  especially  to  the  ladies.  And  some 
how  or  othe'r  his  diplomatic  wife  has  wheedled  him  most 
amazingly,  so  that  he  cannot  resist  her  will.  And  when  Tier 
will  was  made  known,  there  was  nothing  for  it  but  to  embrace 
it  in  his  will,  although  he  said,  and  every  one  knew  it  before, 
that  he  loved  Walter  as  his  own  son  and  heir.  So  I  got  Baw- 
son,  the  Scotch  lawyer,  to  join  the  conference,  and  propose  a 
compromise,  or  modification  of  the  articles,  so  that  Walter 
should  not  be  left  out  entirely." 

"  Very  kind  of  you,  sergeant,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle.  "  And 
what  did  Bawson  suggest  ?  " 

"  That,  in  the  event  of  the  commander's  death,  all  the  per 
sonal  estate,  of  whatever  kind,  should  go  to  Walter,  and  the 
real  estate  to  his  spouse." 

"  That  was  a  Scotch  stratagem ! "  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 
"  For  I  suppose  he  knew,  that  in  the  event  of  my  brother's 


NAPOLEON'S  WILL  DISCUSSED.  221 

decease,  without  children  of  his  own,  the  real  estate,  by  virtue 
of  Mr.  Winkle's  father's  will,  must  descend  to  my  children." 

"  And  so,"  continued  the  sergeant,  in  great  glee,  "  the 
catamount  would  be  cut  out  altogether !  Yes,  Bawson  knew 
it — but  the  smart  woman  don't  know  any  more  about  such 
matters  than  one  of  Bill  Dizzle's  frogs." 

"  I  will  not  be  a  party  to  any  such  deception,"  said  Wal 
ter.  "  If  he  were  to  execute  such  a  will,  and  there  should  be 
an  heir  afterwards,  it  would  be  a  fraud  to  possess  the  estate." 

"  You  are  the  soul  of  honor,  Walter  !  "  said  the  sergeant. 
"  But  you  know  that  woman  stormed  the  garrison  to  get  at  the 
military  chest — and  she  has  no  just  title  to  any  part  of  the 
treasures.  You  needn't  have  any  thing  to  do  with  it,  though. 
Only  be  silent.  She  keeps  the  will  locked  up,  and  I  think  as 
soon  as  it  is  signed  and  witnessed,  she'll  not  care  a  bayonet 
how  quick  your  uncle  is  killed.  He  knows  all  about  the  mat 
ter  of  the  reversion,  and  is  delighted  at  the  idea  of  cheating 
the  stinging  witch.  I  believe  he  would  be  willing  to  die,  just 
to  witness  her  disappointment,  if  he  could  be  certain  he  would 
have  the  power  of  seeing  it." 

"  What,  has  he  caught  a  Tartar  ?  "  asked  Pollen. 

"  I  believe  he  has,"  said  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"Believe?  Gad,  he  knows  it!"  said  Blore.  "She 
don't  scold  him,  as  my  wife  did  me — and  of  course  she  don't 
strike  him ;  but  there  is  such  a  terror  in  her  frown,  such  a 
misery  in  her  cold  looks,  that  he  would  submit  to  any  thing 
rather  than  offend  her.  By  some  infernal  spell  or  other,  she 
has  conquered  him  !  If  she  but  cracks  her  finger,  he  runs  up 
to  her  like  a  cowed  spaniel — if  she  puckers  up  her  thin  lips, 
he  will  abandon  any  resolve.  Oh,  it  is  a  monstrous  tyranny !  " 

"  She  must  possess  some  supernatural  power,"  said  Pollen. 

"  She  has  the  devil  at  her  beck,  sir ! "  said  Blore.  "  Even 
the  chickens,  the  bull,  and  the  bull-dog,  run  away  from  her." 

"  No  wonder,  then,"  said  Walter,  "  my  poor  uncle  is  obe 
dient  !  But  is  it  not  strange,  sergeant,  that  any  brave  man 
should  be  so  craven  as  to  submit  to  the  constraint  of  a  mere 


woman 


9  " 


"  It  is  so  ! ' 

"  Then  why  do  you  fear  Mrs.  Edwards,  or  Mrs.  Blore,  as 
she  now  may  be  called  ?  " 

"  She's  a  h — llcat !     She's  not  a  woman — nor  is  your  uncle's 


222  THE    WINKLES. 

spouse  a  mere  woman !  Lord  bless  you !  wait  till  you  arc 
lashed  to  an  ill-natured,  keen-sighted,  iron-nerved " 

"  Oh,  I  shall  profit  by  your  example,  sergeant,  and  keep 
out  of  their  clutches." 

"  Do.     But  shall  your  uncle  sign  ?  " 

"  He  must  do  as  he  pleases.     I  shall  be  content." 

"  Very  well.  That's  all  he  wished  me  to  ascertain.  And 
when  the  preparations  are  completed,  he  desires  you  to  wit 
ness  the  Waterloo  field  of  battle.  He  means  to  show  how  the 
battle  might  have  been  won ;  and  he'll  want  your  assistance, 
and  your  friend  will  be  welcome,  too.  Good  night.  I  will 
scale  the  rear  wall." 

But  the  sergeant  was  commanded  by  the  widow  to  remain, 
deeming  it  out  of  the  question  for  him  to  attempt  to  return  on 
so  dark  a  night.  He  consented  to  remain  till  the  first  dawn 
of  light  in  the  morning,  hoping  to  escape  the  vigilant  eyes  of 
his  watchful  enemy. 

Walter  and  Pollen,  the  latter  expressing  a  desire  to  visit 
Napoleon  Winkle's  country  mansion,  proposed  to  return  with  him 
in  the  morning  as  an  escort.  This  assured  the  sergeant  of  his 
safety,  and  he  expressed  his  gratitude  in  the  language  of  ear 
nestness.  And  after  receiving  the  assurance  of  Mrs.  Winkle, 
that  it  would  be  quite  impossible  for  his  dreaded  wife  to  mo 
lest  him  in  his  new  quarters,  he  retired  to  the  chamber  in  the 
attic,  which  had  been  allotted  him. 

But  he  had  not  been  long  absent,  before  he  rushed  down 
stairs  again,  as  fast  as  his  wooden  leg  would  permit,  declaring 
that  his  wife,  or  some  other  infernal  woman  was  in  his  room. 
Mrs.  Winkle  laughed  heartily  at  the  sergeant's  narration  of 
what  he  had  seen  by  the  light  of  the  newly  risen  moon.  She 
assured  him  it  was  only  one  of  Biddy's  gowns,  hanging  near 
the  bed.  It  was  removed ;  and  then  the  sergeant  closed  his 
eyes  with  a  sense  of  security. 


223 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

LOWE,  WALTER,  AND  POLLEN  PAT  A  VISIT  TO  GPJSELDA.     THE  BAT 
TLE  OF  WATERLOO  FOUGHT  OVER  AGAIN  BY  NAPOLEON  WINKLE. 

GRISELDA  only  awaited  the  impending  execution  of  the  will 
for  a  perfect  realization  of  her  ambitious  projects.  For  the 
present  her  own  will  was  paramount,  "but  she  desired  the  con 
summation  of  a  provision  for  the  future. 

Already,  and  in  anticipation  of  the  position  and  power, 
to  which,  from  the  first  dawn  of  her  good  fortune,  she  plainly 
perceived  she  must  arrive,  she  had  consulted  the  best  author 
ities  in  style  and  fashion,  as  to  the  mode  of  living  and  manners 
to  be  observed,  by  one  in  her  enviable  station.  Of  course, 
every  thing  was  British  and  European,  First,  researches  were 
made  in  her  genealogical  line,  and  it  was  found  that  one  of 
her  ancestors,  two  or  three  generations  removed,  had  been  a 
captain.  He  had  been  called  Captain — whether  it  was  in  the 
militia,  or  on  a  ferry  boat,  or  in  the  night  watch,  made  no  dif 
ference — she  was  the  descendant  of  Captain  Gusset;  and  as 
dead  men  tell  no  tales,  she  might  say  what  she  pleased  in  re 
gard  to  his  gallant  exploits,  without  danger  of  contradiction. 

Her  pedigree  established,  all  other  impediments  vanished. 
British  novels  taught  her  the  mode  of  luxurious  living,  and 
the  etiquette  to  be  observed  by  a  lady  of  her  affluence.  And 
besides,  there  were  American  writers — though  foppish,  fash 
ionable — who  had  obtained  access  to  the  aristocratic  circles 
of  British  society,  and  whose  published  volumes  described 
the  domestic  habits  of  lords  and  ladies.  From  such  sources 
Griselda  learned  when  to  retire,  when  to  rise,  what  to  eat, 
how  to  dress,  and  other  small  particulars  of  an  aristocratic 
establishment.  That  it  was  desirable  the  fashions  of  Europe 
should  prevail  in  our  country,  would  be  inferred  from  the  fact 
that  government  did  nothing  for  the  encouragement  of  teach 
ers  of  an  indigenous  growth,  while  the  foreign  authors,  de 
frauded  of  their  property,  nevertheless  had  their  sentiments 
expanded  throughout  the  Republic,  involving  the  readers  in 
no  further  expense  than  the  mere  cost  of  paper  and  printing. 
And  Griselda  was  only  one  among  the  millions  who  imbibed 
a  relish  for  the  effeminate  and  free  enjoyments  of  life,  such  as 


224  THE    WINKLES. 

some  of  the  British  novelists  demonstrated  as  being  in  vogue 
in  the  vicinity  of  Grosvenor  Square,  and  other  noted  places 
in  the  west  end  of  London. 

It  was,  therefore,  with  feelings  of  most  exquisite  delight, 
that  Griselda  beheld  Walter  and  his  two  friends  approaching 
the  mansion.  Lowe,  although  the  subject  of  dark  suspicions, 
and  sometimes  of  conjectures  of  an  opposite  character,  was 
certainly  a  mysterious  personage — but  against  whom  nothing 
could  with  certainty  be  alleged.  He  was  young  and  hand 
some — accomplished  and  generous ;  and  these  more  than  suf 
ficed,  as  Griselda  learned  from  the  practice  in  Harley  street, 
Cavendish  square,  for  his  reception  in  the  boudoirs  of  the 
most  distinguished  American  ladies.  Pollen  was  a  poet,  and 
in  all  ages  and  countries,  but  ours,  the  poets  were  freely  ad 
mitted  into  the  best  society.  And  Griselda  resolved  to  con 
tribute  her  mite,  in  condemnation  and  ridicule  of  every  thing 
merely  American.  She  had  learned  from  Walter,  that  Pollen 
was  read  and  approved  in  England  ;  and  that  if  he  had  but 
the  means  to  defray  his  expenses  thither,  he  would  be  imme 
diately  caressed  by  the  Sutherlands,  the  Stanhopes,  the 
Spences,  the  .Beauforts,  etc.  Walter,  himself,  when  he  chose 
to  be  smiled  upon  by  her,  had  always  been  a  sort  of  privileged 
pet  of  the  retired  milliner. 

Refreshing  her  memory  of  similar  visits  in  the  fashionable 
novels,  Griselda  conformed  to  them  as  nearly  as  possible  in 
the  reception  of  the  young  gentlemen ;  and  they  soon  had 
reason  to  be  convinced  they  were  heartily  welcome  to  the  hos 
pitalities  of  the  mansion. 

"  It  was  kind  in  you,  Walter,"  said  Griselda,  when  they 
were  seated,  "  to  think  of  your  languishing  friend,  in  her  deep 

seclusion.  I  have  just  been  reading  one  of  Mr. 's  tales 

of  the  country  enjoyments  in  England,  and  wondering  why  we 
did  not  imitate  such  pleasant  examples.  There  is  nothing  to 
prevent  it.  We  have  here  all  the  means  of  similar  delights. 
Let  us  improve  them.  Promise  me,  all  of  you,  that  you  will 
be  my  guests  for  a  week  or  a  fortnight,  at  the  very  least,  and 
I  will  devise  means  for  your  amusement." 

'•  What  have  you  to  say,  Pollen  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  I  shall  be  perfectly  willing  to  remain  until  driven  hence. 
You  know  I  have  no  fixed  home — no  regular  employment — 
and  if  Mrs.  Winkle  will  permit  me  to  enjoy  myself  in  my 


THE    POET    IN    THE    SEVENTH    HEAVEN.  225 

own  way  when  the  fit  comes  on — and  you  can   explain  what 
that  means — I  shall  be  honored  by  her  entertainment." 

"  No  explanation  is  necessary,"  said  she.  "  This  is  Liberty 
Hall.  Do  as  you  please.  Command  what  you  desire,  and 
consider  every  thing  your  own.  If  a  fit  of  composition,  such 
as  used  to  seize  upon  Lord  Byron,  should  take  possession  of 
you,  depend  upon  it,  you  shall  not  be  disturbed.  I  should 
like,  above  all  things,  to  read  a  poem  in  print,  which  had  been 
written  in  my  house." 

"  Very  considerate,  truly,"  said  Lowe.  "  If  the  poet  does 
not  now  consider  himself  invested  with  the  freedom  of  the 
place,  he  can  have  no  appreciation  of  handsome  receptions." 

"  I  thank  you,  Mr.  Lowe,  for  your  kind  remark,"  said 
Griselda ;  "  and  I  really  wish  you  would  spend  a  large  portion 
of  your  time  at  the  mansion,  during  the  absence  of " 

"  Who  ?  "  asked  Pollen.     «  The  lord  of  the  estate  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no  !  A  certain  young  lady,  who  has  mysteriously 
disappeared,"  replied  Griselda. 

"  Do,  sir,"  said  Pollen.  "  The  walks  about  the  premises 
are  silent  and  romantic,  and  adapted  to  passionate  musing.  I 
shall  enjoy  them.  Oh,  the  joyous  air,  perfumed  with  roses  ! 
and  the  carollings  of  happy  birds  !  I  must  rush  out  in  their 
midst.  Who  will  accompany  me  ?  Who  will  follow  ?  Ex 
cuse  me !  "  and  he  darted  through  one  of  the  long  windows 
descending  to  the  floor,  and  crossing  the  lawn,  disappeared  be 
hind  a  hedge  of  altheas. 

Walter,  leaving  Lowe  with  his  aunt,  sought  his  uncle  in 
the  library.  He  was  in  the  midst  of  charts  and  papers,  with 
pen  in  hand,  making  a  diagram  of  the  field  of  Waterloo. 

"  Come  to  my  arms,  my  boy  ! "  he  cried,  embracing  his 
nephew,  and  evincing  the  real  delight  his  presence  afforded. 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  you  so  happy,  uncle,  and  that  you  have 
resumed  your  cherished  employments." 

"  Sit  down.  Wait  a  moment,"  said  the  old  gentleman, 
tripping  lightly  across  to  the  door,  which  he  locked.  "  I  am 
free,  now,"  he  continued,  in  a  low  voice.  "  How  I  became  en 
tangled  in  the  silken  meshes  of  matrimony,  we  will  not  dwell 
upon ;  suflBce  it,  that  I  was  bound  hand  and  foot,  but  now  am 
free.  I  kept  a  subtle  poison  about  my  person,  to  take  in  the 
last  extremity ;  but  that  Scotch  lawyer,  Bawson,  and  our 
Blore,  have  extricated  me  from  the  clutches  of  her  Machia- 
velian  diplomacy." 
10* 


226  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Could  you  not  have  ruptured  the  silken  cord,  uncle  ?  " 

"  No,  not  at  all.  She  made  no  hostile  demonstration,  but 
assumed  at  the  beginning  the  attitude  of  superiority,  and  had 
the  power  to  withhold  or  grant  any  thing,  as  I  might  concili 
ate  or  exasperate  her.  It  is  a  mystery  to  you.  But  wait  till 
a  woman  is  appended  to  your  neck  !  You  will  then  find  that 
whatever  is  yours,  is  hers,  and  that  she  may  insidiously  obtain 
the  arbitrary  direction  of  the  whole." 

"  I  should  declare  war,  uncle,  and  turn  her  out  of  doors  !  " 

"  "War  against  a  woman  ?  No,  sir  !  All  domestic  wounds 
should  be  healed  on  the  hearth-stone.  But  we  have  over 
reached  her  in  diplomacy.  Every  thing  is  signed  in  the  form 
the  sergeant  described  to  you.  Bawson  has  been  paid  and 
dismissed  and  your  aunt  has  the  document  safely  locked  up 
in  the  iron  chest  with  the  plate — your  plate,  Walter.  Ha, 
ha,  ha  !  If  I  could  only  witness  her  chagrin  and  disappoint 
ment,  upon  the  discovery  that  she  was  outwitted  and  over 
reached  in  the  partition  of  my  effects,  I  would  swallow  the 
strychnine  to-day.  Ha!  ha!  ha!  Blore  is  another  Talley 
rand!" 

"  I  hope  you  may  not  be  induced  to  commit  an  injustice, 
uncle.  If  there  should  be  an  heir " 

"  Hist !  "  said  his  uncle,  placing  his  lips  to  the  ear  of  his 
nephew,  and  whispering.  "  Rely  upon  it,"  he  continued, 
"  and  be  at  ease.  I  shall  do  no  wrong.  But  I  mean  to  enjoy 
my  enfranchisement." 

The  repeated  reference  to  his  regained  liberty,  amused 
Walter,  particularly  when  he  observed  so  much  caution  and 
secrecy  in  his  communications. 

"  If  you  have  been  really  enfranchised,  uncle,"  said  Wal 
ter,  "  why  do  you  remain  in  your  cabinet  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  am  just  planning  the  campaign  of  the  hundred 
days.  I  find  fault  with  Napoleon's  last  operations,  and  I 
mean  to  demonstrate  how  his  final  calamity  might  have  been 
averted.  He  should  have  first  dislodged  the  British  with 
bombs.  Your  mortar  was  the  article  I  stood  most  in  need  of. 
I  thank  you  for  it,  Walter.  Rely  upon  my  gratitude." 

"  I  suppose,  sir,  you  will  not  have  to  encounter  any  opposi 
tion  from  my  aunt  before  entering  upon  this  final  campaign. " 

"  Bless  you,  no !  she  seems  to  co-operate  with  alacrity, 
and  promises  herself  much  enjoyment.  Since  the  signing  of 
the  treaty,  there  is  a  great  change  in  her  aspect.  She  says 


GUSSET    OVERREACHED.  227 

the  crops  being  all  laid  by,  I  may  command  the  men  in  the 
territories  ;  and  Blore  says  they  are  eager  for  the  fray.  But 
between  us,  Walter,"  he  added,  in  a  whisper,  "  this  concession 
on  her  part  is  attributable  to  the  provision  made  for  her  in 
the  event  of  my  death ;  and  I  should  not  be  surprised  if  she 
allowed  me  the  utmost  opportunity  of  being  killed.  Ha,  ha, 
ha  1  And  the  silly  woman  thinking  all  the  time  she  would  be 
my  successor  in  the  government !  " 

"  I  must  own,  uncle,  that  were  I  in  your  stead,  I  should 
hardly  be  diverted  at  the  contemplation  of  such  an  event." 

"  Pooh,  boy,  let  danger  fear  us ;  then  it  ceases  to  be  dan 
ger.  That  was  Csesar's  motto.  But  who  accompanied  you  ? 
I  saw  two  others  approach." 

"Walter  told  him,  and  was  pleased  to  learn  that  his  friends 
<vould  prove  acceptable  guests  to  the  lord  as  well  as  the  lady 
af  the  mansion,  and  his  uncle  immediately  proposed  repairing 
with  him  to  the  parlor,  which  was  done  ;  and  Lowe  had  the 
satisfaction  of  enjoying  a  cordial  reception.  The  old  gentle 
man  even  united  with  Griselda  in  demanding  a  prolonged  so 
journ  from  the  party,  and  pledged  himself  to  contribute  his 
best  efforts  to  render  them  comfortable. 

He  was  listened  to  in  good  humor  by  his  spouse  ;  and  both 
to  manifest  her  approbation  of  his  courtesy,  and  to  convince 
her  guests  that  he  was  in  the  possession  of  perfect  freedom, 
she  requested  him  and  Walter  to  go  in  search  of  the  poet,  that 
the  honors  of  a  cordial  welcome  might  be  repeated  by  the 
master  (as  she  said)  of  the  house. 

As  the  host  conducted  his  nephew  over  the  grounds,  he  ex 
plained  the  advantages  of  the  different  positions  and  salient 
points  in  a  military  point  of  view,  and  indicated  the  campaign 
he  had  selected  for  his  grand  Waterloo  exhibition.  It  was 
an  extensive  pasture,  where  vast  flocks  of  sheep  were  grazing, 
and  was  traversed  in  the  centre  by  the  trout  brook  that  mean 
dered  along  Mrs.  Winkle's  premises  in  the  village.  On  either 
side  of  the  brook  there  was  a  gradual  ascent,  and  behind  the 
brow  of  the  hill  on  the  right  hand,  it  was  to  be  supposed  that 
Wellington  and  his  army  sought  a  shelter. 

"I  will  show  you  how  the  red-coats  might  have  been  routed 
from  their  hiding  places,"  said  the  enthusiast.  "  But  yonder 
is  your  friend,  whom  we  have  been  seeking." 

"  Yes,  uncle,  and  he  is  in  one  of  his  poetical  moods,  peo 
pling  the  hills  with  the  creatures  of  his  imagination." 


228  THE   WINKLES. 

"A  poet  might  easily  fancy  this  the  field  of  Waterloo,  and 
behold  every  movement  of  the  contending  armies.  Do  not 
interrupt  him.  He  may  be  enjoying  the  combat." 

"  Not  he,"  said  Walter.  "  He  would  never  dream  of  that 
renowned  conflict  while  gazing  upon  this  lovely  scene." 

Pollen  reclined  on  the  hillside,  in  the  shade  of  a  hawthorn, 
and  surrounded  by  sheep.  His  propped  head  had  the  motion 
of  one  improvising  to  imaginary  shepherdesses,  and  his  eye. 
dilated  in  abstraction,  failed  to  distinguish  any  substantial 
objects. 

As  Walter  and  his  uncle  approached,  they  observed  that 
a  large  ram,  who  had  been  watching  the  poet  for  some  time, 
now  became  convinced  that  the  oscillations  of  his  head  could 
be  meant  for  nothing  less  than  a  banter  to  single  combat ;  and 
disdaining  to  require  odds  against  an  invader  of  his  territory, 
the  leader  of  the  flock,  after  stepping  backward  a  few  paces 
to  acquire  sufficient  impetus  in  the  assault,  aimed  a  furious 
blow,  which,  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  capacious  hat  of  the 
poet,  ascending  high  above  his  head,  might  have  put  an  end 
to  all  his  musings.  Nevertheless,  Pollen  was  slightly  stunned, 
and  rolled  over  on  his  face. 

"  Are  you  hurt  ?  "  asked  Walter,  running  forward  and  lifting 
up  his  friend. 

"  I  know  not,"  said  Pollen.  "  Was  it  an  accident  ?  Who 
threw  the  stone  ?  " 

"  Stone  ?  "  iterated  the  old  commander.  "  It  was  no  stone. 
It  was  yonder  Saxon ;  and  he  shall  be  restricted  in  his  terri 
tory,  if  he  persists  in  committing  such  wanton  aggressions. 
Rely  upon  that.  I  believe  I  have  the  honor  of  shaking  the 
hand  of  Mr.  Pollen,  the  poet,"  continued  the  old  gentleman, 
"  and  I  wish  to  unite  with  my  spouse  in  a  proper  reception  of 
the  friend  of  our  nephew.  You  will  oblige  us,  Mr.  Pollen, 
by  protracting  your  stay  with  us  to  the  utmost  limits  of  your 
convenience." 

"  It  will  afford  me  great  pleasure,  sir,  to  gratify  your 
wishes,  and  to  contribute  to  the  general  enjoyment.  But  I 
trust  I  shall  not  be  fated  to  encounter  many  such  Saxons  as 
this  in  my  rambles." 

"  No.     He  is  an  impudent  fellow,  and  shall  be  arrested." 

"  Oh,  don't  punish  him  on  my  account,"  said  the  poet. 
"  They  call  me  hard-headed,  and  I  doubt  not  he  feels  the 
effects  of  his  temerity." 


A   REVIEW.  229 

As  they  passed  through  the  orchard,  the  poet,  who  lin 
gered  a  few  paces  in  the  rear,  was  assaulted  by  a  turkey- 
cock,  who  brushed  the  ground  with  his  wings,  and  strutted  up 
to  him. 

"  I  presume,"  said  the  poet,  repulsing  the  charge,  and 
listening  to  the  gobble  of  his  discomfited  assailant,  "  that  he 
is  a,  Mussulman." 

"I  think  so,"  said  Walter;  "and  I  believe  the  boar  in 
habiting  the  woods  over  yonder  to  the  north,  is  in  the  habit  of 
making  incursions  on  his  territories.  But  I  think  my  uncle's 
most  formidable  enemy  is  John  Bull,  whom  you  may  see  be 
yond  the  marshes." 

"  I  perceive  what  you  are  leading  to,  Walter,"  said  his 
uncle,  in  good  humor,  "  but  I  care  not  who  hears  it.  Mr. 
Pollen.  I  had  an  adventure  —  a  perilous  one  —  with  my 
neighbor  over  yonder,  which,  perhaps,  may  not  have  reached 
your  ears." 

"  I  have  not  heard  it,  sir,"  said  the  poet. 

"  I  cannot  narrate  the  occurrence  so  graphically  as  Mr. 
Lowe,  who  witnessed  it,  and,  indeed,  participated  in  the 
combat.  He  will  relate  the  affair  to  you  when  we  return. 
How  now,  Blore?"  continued  the  commander,  being  con 
fronted  by  the  sergeant,  who  stood  under  the  spreading  apple- 
tree. 

"  If  it  please  your  honor,"  said  the  sergeant,  touching  his 
cap,  "  the  men  would  take  it  as  a  great  favor  to  be  permitted 
to  parade  on  the  lawn,  and  for  you  to  review  them  there." 

"  Too  hot,  too  hot,  and  I'm  too  fat,  sergeant,  but  you 
may  drill  them." 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  Blore,  with  another  military  salute ;  and 
turning  away,  he  marched  towards  the  garrison  at  Boulogne. 

In  due  time  the  dinner  was  announced,  and  a  magnificent 
repast  it  was,  for  the  mistress  of  the  house,  always  fruitful  in 
resources,  even  in  her  days  of  indigence,  was  now  possessed 
of  ample  material  to  have  feasted  a  score  of  lords. 

The  host,  upon  re-entering  the  parlor  had  fallen  into  a 
most  interesting  conversation  with  Lowe,  who  had  incidentally, 
in  discussing  the  merits  of  the  British  at  Waterloo,  made  the 
remark  that  it  had  been  a  mournful  day  for  his  family,  inas 
much  as  his  father  had  fallen  on  that  fatal  field. 

Griselda  had  attracted  the  particular  attention  of  Pollen, 
by  some  premeditated  compliment  on  the  merits  of  a  certain 


230  THE   WINKLES, 

poem ;  and  not  being  able  to  quote  it  from  memory,  she  was 
nevertheless  enabled  to  turn  to  the  page,  and  thus  demon 
strate  to  the  poet  the  fact  that  his  name  had  not  been  un 
known  at  the  mansion  previous  to  his  visit  thither.  So,  when 
they  arose  to  proceed  to  the  dining-room,  she  was  escorted 
by  the  poet,  and  it  was  the  first  time  in  her  life  she  had  ever 
taken  a  gentleman's  arm  when  proceeding  to  the  dining-room. 
But  such  was  the  fashionable  custom,  and  Walter  looked  in 
vain  to  discover  any  signs  of  embarrassment  in  his  newly 
elevated  aunt ;  and  he  was  by  no  means  piqued  to  find  her 
not  deficient  in  the  etiquette  of  the  table.  It  was  at  his 
suggestion  that  Griselda  purchased  the  book,  and  placed  it  on 
her  centre-table ;  and  he  had  the  satisfaction  to  learn  that 
the  Arums  and  Crudles  had  followed  her  example. 

And  in  this  manner,  if  we  may  be  allowed  a  brief  digres 
sion,  were  the  Vicar  of  Wakefield,  and  "Miss  Grurney's  first 
novel,  rescued  from  oblivion.  A  few  wealthy  admirers 
brought  them  into  notice  by  their  honest  commendations,  or, 
perhaps,  they  might  have  been  lost  for  ever  to  the  world.  On 
the  slightest  incidents  sometimes  depend  the  most  momentous 
results. 

The  poet,  therefore — for  Griselda  had  perused  his  volumes 
with  interest  and  pleasure — found  an  attentive  listener,  and 
the  conversation,  always  brilliant  when  he  was  in  the  vein, 
became  lively  and  contagious  at  the  table.  Walter,  alone, 
seemed  isolated,  and  could  only  fire  a  random  shot  occasion 
ally.  But  he  had  contrived  a  stratagem  in  concert  with 
Sergeant  Blore,  which  he  did  not  doubt  would  afford  some 
amusement :  and  not  knowing  precisely  when  the  expected 
announcement  would  be  made,  and  having  a  voracious  appe 
tite,  he  discussed  the  viands  heartily  while  the  rest  enjoyed 
their  conversation. 

"And  so  your  father  fought  and  fell  on  the  field  of 
Waterloo  ?  "  said  Mr.  N.  Winkle  to  Lowe. 

"  He  did,"  was  the  laconic  reply. 

"  On  which  side,  Lowe?"  asked  Walter. 

"  On  the  side  of  his  country." 

"  You  are  not,  I  think,  a  Frenchman ;  nor  did  I  know 
before  that  you  were  not  an  American.  But  no  matter," 
added  Walter,  with  a  kind  smile,  "a  man's  a  man  for  a' 
that." 


THE    FATE   OF    LITERARY    AMBITION.  231 

"  I  do  not  remember  the  name  in  the  lists,"  said  Mr. 
Winkle,  "  but,  perhaps,  he  was  not  a  commissioned  officer." 

"  But  he  was,"  said  Lowe.  "  The  British  officers,  how 
ever,  often  have  many  names,  and  the  one  by  which  my  father 
was  designated  differed  from  mine." 

"  No  matter  for  the  name.  The  British  fought  like 
heroes ;  and  whatever  was  the  grade  of  your  father,  his  deeds 
on  that  day  deserve  a  monument." 

"  He  was  a  colonel,  and  has  a  monument."  Lowe's  voice 
fell,  and  he  seemed  to  make  a  confidential  communication  to 
his  entertainer. 

"  It  must  be  the  most  delightful  of  pursuits,"  said  Griselda 
to  Pollen ;  "  and  the  author  should  be  the  happiest  of 
mortals." 

"He  should  be,  undoubtedly,"  said  the  poet;  "but  he  is 
the  most  miserable  !  " 

"Why  is  it  so?" 

"  Because,  in  every  instance  where  there  is  genius,  or 
superior  merit,  the  author  is  the  victim  of  the  tricks  of  the 
trade,  or  the  malignity  of  the  envious,  or  of  a  combination  of 
critics  whom  he  has  failed  to  conciliate.  By  some  means  or 
other,  the  door  of  the  temple  is  barred  against  him,  and  blind 
fortune  is  cajoled  from  his  path." 

"  Truly,  I  was  not  aware  of  it,"  said  Griselda,  manifesting 
much  interest  in  the  subject. 

"  And  that  is  not  all,"  continued  the  poet.  "  The  failure 
to  achieve  success  might  be  borne  by  men  of  genius,  with 
equanimity.  They  find  enjoyment  in  the  worlds  of  their  own 
creation.  But  they  are  often  doomed  to  languish  in  neglect, 
and  behold  others,  infinitely  their  inferiors  in  every  respect, 
win  both  fame  and  fortune.  That  is  the  source  of  their 
greatest  unhappiness.  They  feel,  they  know,  that  when  their 
ephemeral  rivals  shall  be  forgotten ;  when  the  turf  shall  cover 
their  persecutors  and  enemies ;  when  the  purifications  in  the 
lapse  of  time  shall  have  dissipated  the  foul  vapors  that  ob 
scured  the  stars  ;  and — I  shrill  not  pursue  the  subject.  Why 
should  I  ?  What  boots  this  consciousness  of  a  literary  resur 
rection  ?  It  is  madness !  It  is  h — 11 !  It  is  this  which 
constitutes  our  misery  !  The  plaudits  of  future  generations 
cannot  reach  us  in  the  grave — our  fleshless  skulls  cannot  be 
conscious  of  the  sounds  of  praise  !  And  those  who  withheld 
from  us  a  substantial  reward  whhile  living — and  who  mocked 


232  THE    WINKLES. 

at  our  calamity — will  be  buried  too  deeply  in  oblivion  to  be 
branded  as  oppressors.  Their  names  will  have  been  utterly 
forgotten." 

At  this  juncture,  and  when  "Walter  had  completely  dined, 
the  company  were  startled  by  the  precipitate  entrance  of  Bill 
Dizzle,  with  open  mouth  and  protruding  eyes. 

"  Well  ?  well  ?  "  said  Mr.  Winkle,  dropping  his  knife  and 
fork,  and  leaning  back  in  his  chair. 

"  The  water  was  down,"  said  Bill,  u  and  I  was  arter  a 
snapping-turtle  in  the  spatter  docks " 

"Well?     Goon." 

"  I  heard  a  great  splash  behind  me " 

"  Go  on  !  " 

"  And  the  tarnation  British  John  Bull  was  arter  me,  and 
the  whole  drove  of  cows  and  heifers  was  following  him.  I 
split  for  the  shore,  and  they  splashed  arter  me.  I  got  out  and 
run,  and  they  run  arter  me — into  the  meadow  and  out  into 
the  pasture — and  there  the  Saxony  ram  met  me  and  gave  me 
a  tremendous  butt !  " 

"  What?  are  they  in  the  pasture?"  cried  the  old  gentle 
man,  rising.  "  Sound  the  alarm  !  Where's  Blore  ?  " 

"  He  sent  me  here,  while  he  aims  the  cannon.  But  all  the 
cattle  are  now  licking  some  salt  they  found  on  the  ground." 
This  had  been  Walter's  work. 

"  An  invasion  !  I'll  mount !  "  said  Mr.  Winkle. 

"  Hear  me  !  "  said  Griselda,  rising,  while  Mr.  W.'s  arm  was 
still  upraised.  "  You  are  soon  to  have  the  Waterloo  battle 
over  again,  are  you  not  ?  " 

"  Yes,  my  dear,  you  consented  to  it,"  said  her  lord. 

"  Very  well.  You  must  have  the  British  on  the  field  be 
fore  you  can  engage  with  them ;  and  they  must  come  upon  the 
continent  before  they  can  reach  the  field.  Let  them  remain 
where  they  are,  until  your  preparations  are  completed." 

"  Certainly,"  said  her  lord,  lowering  his  arm.  "  Yes,  let 
them  remain,"  he  continued,  resuming  his  seat.  "  To-morrow 
we  will  give  them  battle." 

"  I  hope,  however,"  said  Griselda,  uyou  will  not  injure 
the  poor  animals." 

"  The  bull  must  be  separated  from  the  rest,"  said  Mr. 
Winkle. 

"Why?  I  don't  believe  he  has  harmed  any  of  them,  or 
they  would  not  have  followed  him  to  the  salt.  Besides,  have 


A    SECOND    WATERLOO.  233 

they  not  been  on  the  island  with  him  for  several  days  ?  I  do 
not  think  the  poor  fellow  deserves  the  punishment  you  have 
been  meditating." 

"  Did  he  not  toss  me  into  the  ditch  ?  "  asked  the  old  man. 

"  And  I  thought  it  was  a  frog  as  big  as  a  ox,"  said 
Dizzle. 

"  But  you  had  fired  on  him.  To-morrow,  or  whenever  you 
encounter  him  again,  remember  that  he  is  no  coward,"  said 
Griselda,  smiling. 

"  I  will  remember  his  conduct  on  the  former  occasion  !  " 
said  the  commander. 

Walter's  anticipation  of  a  boisterous  episode  was  not  real 
ized.  Griselda  had  the  power  of  controlling  his  uncle,  and 
calming  his  military  frenzy. 

The  next  day,  however,  both  sides  of  the  great  pasture 
were  lined  with  men  and  boys.  Here  and  there  an  old  cannon 
of  small  calibre  was  pointed  from  the  opposing  extremities  of 
the  field  towards  the  centre.  Another  mortar  had  been  pro 
cured  from  the  city,  so  that  the  contending  armies  might  be 
upon  an  equal  footing.  Altogether,  some  fifty  old  muskets 
and  fowling-pieces  were  collected ;  but  the  men  were  forbid 
den  the  use  of  lead.  The  mortar,  to  be  directed  by  Napoleon 
in  person,  was  to  throw  its  wooden  balls ;  and  the  British  be 
yond  the  crest  of  the  opposite  hill,  were  to  watch  them,  and  of 
course  avoid  them.  The  one  which  was  to  reply  to  it,  was  to 
be  aimed  by  Walter  ;  but  he  was  not  to  be  permitted  to  throw 
back  the  balls,  as  his  uncle,  not  so  acute  of  vision  as  himself, 
might  not  be  able  to  elude  them.  He  could  reply  only  with 
wrapped  paper  balls,  with  just  a  sufficient  weight  of  sand  to 
project  them  across  the  field. 

The  old  gentleman  was  mounted  on  his  champing  steed, 
and  seemed  to  scan  the  armies  through  his  glass,  with  the  in 
terest  and  energy  of  a  general  upon  the  eve  of  a  momentous 
conflict. 

Griselda,  attended  by  the  poet,  occupied  a  position  at  a 
short  distance  from  the  scene  of  the  impending  struggle,  and 
out  of  range  of  the  missiles,  where  she  could  witness  all  the 
transactions  of  the  day. 

The  signal  was  given  for  the  attack,  and  the  cannon  on 
the  old  commander's  side  of  the  field  were  discharged,  which 
threw  the  flocks  of  sheep  and  cattle,  occupying  the  intermedi 
ate  space  between  the  contending  parties,  into  considerable 


234  THE   WINKLES. 

confusion.  The  enemy  not  replying,  being  ensconced  behind 
the  brow  of  the  opposite  hill,  Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle  ordered 
his  engineer  to  throw  some  bombs  in  their  midst.  But  the 
engineer,  pro  forma,  not  being  skilled  either  in  mathematics 
or  mechanics,  had  omitted  to  point  the  mortar  at  a  sufficient 
elevation,  and  hence  the  wooden  ball  was  projected  in  a  hori 
zontal  direction ;  and  tending  downward  by  its  own  specific 
gravity,  fell  among  the  sheep.  It  struck  the  large  ram  on  the 
tail,  as  that  member  happened  to  be  momentarily  elevated, 
and  broke  it.  The  poor  animal  baa-ed  in  pain,  and  ran  away 
towards  the  crest  of  the  hill  occupied  by  the  British,  and  was 
followed  by  all  the  silly  flock. 

"  Now's  your  time,  Blore  ! "  cried  Napoleon.  "  Charge 
them  at  the  head  of  your  column,  under  cover  of  the  cloud  of 
dust  raised  by  the  sheep." 

Blore  drew  his  sword  and  led  the  attack,  followed  by  a 
score  of  men,  and  preceded  by  the  sheep.  The  enemy  had 
not  discharged  the  first  gun  yet,  and  some  of  the  novices  fol 
lowing  Blore,  expressed  a  belief  that  they  were  either  killed, 
or  had  taken  to  flight. 

But  just  when  the  old  ram  and  his  party  had  reached 
within  a  few  paces  of  the  crest,  Lowe,  who  was  with  Walter, 
cried  out,  lt  Up,  and  at  them ! "  which  was  followed  by  the 
sudden  uprising  of  twenty  men  and  boys,  and  a  rattling  dis 
charge  of  all  their  pieces  that  would  go  off. 

The  sheep,  utterly  astonished,  and  hopelessly  panic-stricken, 
turned  and  fled,  still  following  their  leader,  who  had  been 
completely  blinded  by  the  discharge  of  a  fowling-piece.  With 
his  eyes  closed  and  his  face  blackened,  the  old  ram,  in  the 
desperation  of  his  retrograde  movement,  fell  upon  Blore  and 
his  advancing  column.  All  was  in  confusion — leaping,  tum 
bling,  rolling.  The  men  were  overthrown  by  the  sheep.  The 
sheep,  imitating  the  motions  of  their  blind  leader,  who,  sup 
posing  obstructions  were  besetting  every  foot  of  the  way,  at 
each  alternate  spring  leaped  high  in  the  air,  as  if  clearing  the 
bayonet  of  a  soldier.  It  was  irresistibly  diverting  to  see  the 
whole  flock  leaping  up  continually  when  there  was  nothing  to 
leap  over  ;  they  followed  the  example  of  their  blind  captain, 
doubtless  supposing  he  had  a  good  reason  for  what  he  did. 

The  attacking  party,  under  Blore,  was  completely  over 
thrown.  Rolling  over  each  other,  and  the  sheep  bounding 
over  all,  while  the  enemy  continued  to  pour  upon  them  an  in- 


235 

cessant  tempest  of  cannon  and  musketry,  they  scampered 
away  in  all  directions,  pale  and  covered  with  dust.  The  sheep, 
still  following  their  blind  leader,  rushed  among  the  cattle 
under  a  clump  of  hawthorns,  near  the  brook,  about  midway 
between  the  armies.  The  old  bull,  bellowing  and  throwing 
up  the  earth  with  -his  feet,  commenced  an  assault  on  the 
fugitives.  The  poor  creatures  were  tossed  up  like  the  balls 
of  a  juggler.  Two  or  three  at  a  time  were  poised  in  the  air. 
They  bleated  distressfully.  The  bull  bellowed,  the  cows  lowed, 
the  pigs  squealed,  the  geese  squalled,  and  the  cannon  thun 
dered. 

Blore  was  the  last  of  the  assaulting  party  that  returned. 
Whether  it  was  attributable  to  his  surpassing  contempt  of 
danger,  or  the  difficulty  of  traversing  the  field  with  his  wooden 
leg,  no  one  seemed  curious  to  know. 

"  That  was  a  bad  business,  Blore,"  said  Napoleon.  "  I  am 
ashamed  of  you." 

"  It  was  not  possible  to  do  more,  sir,"  said  the  sergeant 
deprecatingly  ;  "  we  charged  up  to  their  guns " 

"  Why  didn't  you  spike  them  ?  " 

"  Because  they  had  reserved  their  fire,  and  then  discharged 
their  pieces  in  our  faces,  sir  ;  and  when  the  smoke  cleared 
away,  we  had  not  a  man  on  his  feet,  sir.  Every  one  had  fallen, 
sir  ! " 

"  Yery  well,  Blore.  Rally  the  men,  and  form  another 
assaulting  column.  Have  them  in  readiness  out  of  range  of 
the  enemy's  guns.  I  will  pour  another  shower  of  shells  among 
the  rascals  ensconced  behind  the  crest  of  the  hill." 

The  mortar  was  worked  with  surprising  energy,  and  the 
balls  were  now  thrown  in  the  right  direction,  and  gave  employ 
ment  to  Walter  and  Lowe,  and  their  party,  in  watching  and 
eluding  them. 

But  the  one  of  all  others  the  most  severely  exercised,  was 
Bill  Dizzle.  He  was  mounted  on  a  wild  colt,  carrying  a  large 
basket  in  his  hand.  It  was  his  duty  to  watch  the  wooden 
balls  when  they  fell,  and  return  them  to  the  battery  from 
which  they  had  been  thrown,  to  be  used  again.  Thus  was  he 
kept  flying  from  one  side  of  the  field  to  the  other. 

The  cannon  and  mortars  were  discharged  incessantly. 
The  ground  was  canopied  with  smoke,  and  the  pasture  really 
smelt  like  a  field  of  battle. 

Walter  and  Lowe  aimed  to  blow  up  the  old  gentleman's 


236  THE    WINKLES. 

ammunition  wagon,  standing  in  the  vicinity  of  his  mortar- 
By  inserting  more  sand  in  their  paper  balls,  and  by  experi 
menting  with  their  charges  of  powder,  they  were  enabled  to 
calculate  with  some  accuracy  where  their  burning  missives 
might  be  made  to  fall ;  and  soon  it  required  the  constant 
attention  of  several  men  to  extinguish  the  sparks  that  wero 
scattered  in  the  near  vicinity  of  the  powder. 

During  all  this  time  the  bull  was  tossing  the  sheep  about, 
and  trampling  on  the  pigs  and  geese,  while  several  dogs,  be 
longing  to  the  neighboring  farms,  were  barking  at  his  heels. 

"  Bring  up  your  reserves  !  "  cried  Napoleon.  "  We  have 
silenced  their  guns.  March  in  the  shape  of  a  wedge,  or  a 
triangular  flock  of  wild  geese,  and  penetrate  to  their  rear. 
Let  nothing  arrest  your  progress  this  time." 

Blore  advanced  at  the  head  of  his  geese  to  execute  the 
command,  under  cover  of  the  batteries,  and  avoiding  the 
ground  occupied  by  the  cattle.  When  they  had  ascended  the 
opposite  hill  nearly  to  the  summit,  the  fire  from  the  swivels 
and  the  mortar  ceased,  for  fear  of  injuring  friend  as  well  as 
enemy.  An  ominous  silence  prevailed  in  the  ranks  of  the 
assaulted  party,  which  lay  concealed  behind  the  crest  of  the 
hill. 

"  Now,  lads  !  "  cried  Blore,  when  within  a  few  paces  of 
the  crouching  enemy,  "  remember  there  is  no  lead  in  their 
cartridges  ;  and,  for  the  honor  of  our  commander,  and  in  re 
venge  for  being  run  over  by  the  sheep,  let  us  seize  their  guns, 
and  drive  them  from  the  field.  Down  with  your  bayonets  ! 
Charge  !  " 

Then  Walter  and  Lowe,  with  all  their  men,  rose  up  and 
poured  a  volley  in  their  faces.  If  they  did  not  have  lead  in 
their  guns,  stifl  they  peppered  their  assailants ;  for  an  ounce 
of  pulverized  pepper  had  been  inserted  in  every  cartridge. 

"  Fury  !  "  cried  Blore.  "  What  the  d 1's  this  ?  Never 

mind  it,  soldiers  !  Shut  your  eyes  and  rush  upon  them !  " 

But  it  so  happened  that  each  one,  and  the  sergeant  among 
the  rest,  had  involuntarily  faced  about  upon  being  peppered  ; 
and  now,  in  the  supposed  execution  of  the  valorous  command, 
the  whole  party  charged  in  the  opposite  direction,  amid  the 
shouts  of  the  enemy  and  the  loud  laughter  of  the  hundreds  of 
spectators,  who  had  been  attracted  to  the  scene  by  the  con 
tinuous  discharges  of  guns. 

"  On,  soldiers,  on  !  "  cried  Blore.  slashing  the  air  with  his 


STAND    BY    YOUR    GUNS !  237 

sword,  and  urging  his  blinded  column  down  the  hill,  uncon 
sciously  retreating  before  the  enemy,  and  yet  under  the  sup 
position  that  they  had  surmounted  the  crest  of  the  ravine  and 
were  descending  on  the  opposite  side. 

In  vain  did  Napoleon  shout  to  them  to  return  to  the 
assault.  No  order  could  be  distinguished  in  the  confused 
roar  of  mingled  sounds.  In  vain  was  Dizzle  despatched  over 
the  field  with  a  written  order.  The  sergeant  could  not  open 
his  eye  to  read  it ;  and  in  reply  to  Dizzle's  repetition  of  the 
order  which  had  been  uttered  by  the  commander-in-chief, 
Blorc  only  urged  his  men  the  more  furiously  downward. 
When  they  reached  the  brook,  they  fell  headlong  in  it.  They 
scrambled  out  unhurt,  wondering  they  had  never  observed  the 
stream  before  in  the  rear  of  the  enemy's  position.  But  now 
the  line  was  broken,  and  the  discomfited  party  were  irretriev 
ably  scattered  in  different  directions,  and  about  one  half  of 
them  were  made  prisoners  and  conducted  to  the  rear  of  the 
hostile  army. 

"  Blore  !  It's  me — it's  your  general !  "  cried  Napoleon, 
riding  up  to  his  second  in  command,  regardless  of  the  balls  of 
burning  paper  that  whizzed  by  his  head ;  Walter  and  Lowe 
having  renewed  the  fire  from  their  batteries.  "  What  is  the 
matter,  Blore  ?  Why  have  you  returned  in  this  manner  ?  " 

"  I  can't  tell,  sir,"  said  the  sergeant,  rubbing  his  eye,  and 
obtaining  a  partial  view  of  the  disastrous  posture  of  affairs. 
u  It's  some  new  invention,  sir,  that  Walter  never  told  me 
about.  They  are  always  getting  up  something  new  to  surprise 
the  old  folks.  Every  one  of  us,  sir,  made  stone  blind  !  We 
thought  we  were  in  the  enemy's  camp  when  we  tumbled  into 
the  water.  It  could  not  be  helped,  sir.  But  the  water  has 
washed  away  some  'of  the  infernal  powder  !  " 

"Rally  them  once  more,  Blore.  Bring  up  the  old  guard. 
We  must  take  their  battery,  and  then  the  battle  will  be  won. 
Stand  by  your  guns  !  See  to  the  mortar  !  "  cried  Napoleon, 
in  great  excitement,  seeing  the  bull  approaching,  followed  by 
the  cows  and  sheep. 

A  burning  ball  from  the  enemy's  mortar,  had  lodged  upon 
one  of  the  horns  of  the  bull,  and  the  smoke  and  pain  from  the 
sparks  had  exasperated  him  to  such  a  degree,  that  he  resolved 
to  storm  one  of  the  batteries  himself.  That  of  Napoleon  being 
the  nearest,  he  charged  boldly  upon  it.  The  mortar  was  de 
pressed  as  he  approached,  and  fired  when  he  was  within  a  few 


238  THE    WINKLES. 

paces  of  it.  It  took  effect  upon  his  massy  forehead,  and  was 
shivered  to  splinters.  But  Johnny  was  stunned,  and  brought 
to  his  knees.  He  shook  his  head  in  pain,  closed  his  eyes,  and 
snorted  aloud.  However,  before  the  mortar  could  be  re 
charged,  he  had  recovered  his  feet.  He  had  no  thought  of 
retreating.  On  the  contrary,  amid  the  shouts  and  yells  of  the 
spectators,  he  returned  to  the  charge,  and  bellowing  most  fu 
riously,  with  his  head  down  and  his  tail  erect,  rushed  upon 
the  mortar  and  dislodged  it.  The  men  that  had  served  it 
were  overthrown  and  put  to  flight.  Napoleon  himself  at 
tempted  to  stand  his  ground,  and  slashed  away  with  his  sword. 
But  his  horse  became  ungovernable,  and  fled  away,  followed 
by  the  bull,  who  kept  his  eye  upon  the  well-known  red  sash. 

"Tout  a  present  c'est  fail!  Sauvons-nous!"  said  Pollen, 
when  the  flying  chief  paused  near  the  platform  where  the  poet 
and  Griselda  were  seated. 

"  No,  sir — no  !  It  is  my  sash  he  wants,  and  he  shall  have 
it,"  said  Napoleon,  reining  in  his  steed,  and  detaching  the  silken 
trophy  from  his  body,  which  he  threw  upon  the  ground.  He 
then  wheeled  away,  and  returned  by  a  circuitous  route  to  the 
battery,  and  was  received  with  cheers,  while  the  bull  was 
ploughing  up  the  earth  under  the  sash. 

"What  ridiculous  nonsense  for  men  to  engage  in,"  said 
Griselda.  "  It  might  do  for  children.  I  am  weary  of  it. 
Let  us  return  to  the  mansion." 

"Presently,"  said  the  poet.  "Walter  has  something  else 
in  reserve.  He  may  cure  his  uncle  of  his  military  distemper." 

"  His  uncle  will  be  killed  in  some  of  these  mad  enterprises. 
I  look  for  nothing  else,  and  am  prepared  for  it.  What  are 
they  doing  now  ?" 

Griselda  observed  that  the  mortar  directed  by  Walter  and 
Lowe  had  ceased  to  throw  paper  balls,  and  they  were  doing  exe 
cution  with  another  sort  of  missile,  of  a  more  consistent  sub 
stance.  These  were  pumpkins,  which  had  been  obtained  from 
a  neighboring  field,  and  one  of  them  had  burst  upon  the  head 
of  the  bull,  and  blinded  him.  The  furious  animal,  not  able 
to  see  from  whence  this  last  assault  proceeded,  was  at  length 
stricken  with  terror,  and  ran  away.  He  never  paused  until 
he  had  regained  his  own  territory  on  the  island.  The  rest 
of  the  cattle  were  scattered  in  divers  directions,  lowing  pit- 
cously.  The  sheep  lay  panting  under  the  hawthorns. 

"  There  goes  another,"  said  Pollen.     "Let  us  watch  it." 


A    SQUASH.  239 

It  made  a  handsome  curve,  and  came  down  squash,  on  the  bald 
head  of  Napoleon,  overwhelming  him  with  the  seeds  and  other 
soft  contents  of  the  fruit. 

"  Astonishing  !  "  said  Griselda.  "  I  thought  any  thing  fall 
ing  from  such  a  height  on  one's  head,  would  produce  instant 
death.  But  he  does  not  seem  to  be  at  all  injured  by  it." 

If  he  was  not  injured,  he  was  blinded  for  a  time,  and 
ceased  to  take  any  note  of  the  progress  of  the  battle.  Ob 
serving  this,  Lowe  and  Walter  ordered  a  charge,  and  in  turn 
assaulted  their  opponents  at  the  point  of  the  bayonet.  The 
guns  and  the  mortar  were  carried  ;  and  to  crown  the  victory, 
both  Napoleon  and  the  sergeant  were  made  prisoners. 

Thus  ended  the  day's  sports,  which  were  followed  by  a 
sumptuous  repast,  which  had  been  ordered  by  Griselda. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

SENSIBLE  CALCULATIONS  OF  THE  GIELS— A  DEAD  EAT. 

THE  sojourn  of  the  young  gentlemen  at  the  Winkle  mansion 
in  the  country  was  continued  for  more  than  a  week,  and 
Griselda  did  every  thing  in  her  power  to  make  the  time  pass 
agreeably.  She  had  invited  the  eldest  of  the  Arum  and 
Crudle  sisters  to  her  house,  hoping  by  this  means  to  increase 
the  pleasures  of  her  guests.  And  the  heiresses  had  accepted 
the  invitation,  for  it  was  not  often  they  could  meet  with  such 
intellectual  society  as  might  be  anticipated  on  such  an  occa 
sion.  They  could  have  no  idea  that  Walter  and  Lowe  had 
ever  heard  of  their  detracting  remarks ;  and  they  were  not 
averse  to  the  re-establishment  of  friendly  relations  with  them, 
as  the  common  guests  of  the  now  rich  and  fashionable  Gri 
selda.  It  was  true  that  the  mystery  of  Lucy's  absence  had 
never  been  satisfactorily  solved ;  but  it  could  be  no  source  of 
discontent  to  the  young  ladies,  that  one  so  universally  admired 
remained  away.  That  Lowe  had  not  eloped  with  her,  was 
certainly  a  demonstrable  fact,  and  his  presence  was  an  obvious 
refutation  of  the  slander  which  had  been  circulated  by  Roland. 
Besides,  the  apparent  friendly  terms  which  still  subsisted  be 
tween  Walter  and  his  uncle,  might  be  an  indication  that  the 


240  THE   WINKLES. 

young  man's  prospects  for  the  future  were .  not  entirely  de 
stroyed. 

As  for  Griselda  herself,  her  conduct  since  her  marriage 
had  been  marked  and  commended  by  the  Arums  and  Crudles. 
She  had  cut  all  her  poor  acquaintances  except  such  as  might 
be  of  immediate  use,  and  had  sought  the  intimacy  of  the  rich 
or  the  fashionable. 

But  although  the  girls  were  quite  delighted  with  the  com 
pany  of  the  young  gentlemen,  and  exerted  their  powers  of 
fascination  to  enthrall  them,  yet  it  might  have  been  easily 
perceptible  that  they  had  no  design  of  forming  a  matrimonial 
entanglement  with  the  precipitancy  which  had  characterized 
the  case  of  young  Snobson,  whose  father  was  so  exceedingly 
wealthy.  In  their  thoughts,  and  even  in  their  conversation, 
when  alone,  the  merits  and  pecuniary  prospects  of  the  young 
men  were  freely  discussed.  Walter  might  prove  worth  catching 
some  day,  and  their  bearing  towards  him  was  to  be  governed  in 
view  of  such  a  contingency.  Lowe  was  a  mystery,  and  most 
young  ladies  are  fond  of  mysteries.  If  no  one  knew  any  thing 
about  him,  how  was  it  to  be  ascertained  that  he  might  not 
really  be  the  possessor  of  an  ample  fortune  ?  He  was  certainly 
handsome  and  accomplished,  and  seemed  to  be  familiar  with 
the  manners  and  habits  of  the  most  aristocratic  circles.  It 
was  prudent,  therefore,  to  maintain  friendly  relations  with  him 
in  reference  to  any  developments  which  might  be  exhibited  in 
the  future.  But  as  for  the  poor  poet,  his  was  a  hopeless  pre 
dicament.  No  one  of  his  unlucky  avocation  -had  ever  been 
known,  so  far  as  the  information  of  the  Arums  and  Crudles 
extended,  to  win  distinction  and  influence  in  society  based 
upon  the  only  foundation  of  which  they  had  any  conception — 
viz.,  fortune.  But  he  had  access  to  the  wealthiest  families, 
and  he  might  immortalize  a  young  lady's  name  in  a  poem,  and 
hence  they  condescended  to  be  amiable,  and  to  amuse  them 
selves  by  their  praises  of  his  genius.  But  if  he  had  possessed 
the  genius  of  a  Shakspeare,  and  had  been  devoid  of  fortune, 
not  one  of  the  Arums  or  the  Crudles  could  have  entertained 
for  a  moment  the  idea  of  marrying  him.  But  Griselda,  on 
the  other  hand,  although  irrevocably  disposed  of  in  matrimony, 
made  unceasing  efforts  to  gratify  his  vanity.  This,  she  learned 
from  British  novels,  and  from  American  writers  who  imitated 
the  European  authors,  was  the  practice  of  the  high  bred  and 
aristocratic  ladies  of  England.  In  truth,  so  affectionately  did 


THE   SUCCESSFUL   CANDIDATES.  241 

she  sympathize  with  him  in  his  real  or  imaginary  wrongs,  and 
in  the  often-expressed  desire  to  possess  the  pecuniary  ability 
to  conduct  a  magazine  under  his  own  control,  that  she  insisted 
upon  his  becoming  her  debtor  for  a  sum  sufficient  to  defray 
the  expenses  of  the  first  number  of  the  periodical.  Pollen, 
as  may  be  supposed,  readily  acceded  to  the  request. 

"  Meantime  the  election  had  taken  place,  and  Roland  had 
been  defeated,  as  was  predicted  by  John  Dowly.  Mr.  Plastic 
the  opposing  candidate  was  returned  by  a  large  majority,  and 
he  had  the  candor  to  acknowledge  his  obligations  to  Walter, 
whom  he  sought  at  his  uncle's  mansion.  He  not  only  owned 
that  he  was  indebted  to  the  young  man  for  his  election,  but 
declared  his  purpose  to  serve  him  when  he  arrived  at  the  federal 
city.  Colonel  Oakdale  was  elected  a  member  of  the  State  legis 
lature,  and  his  subsequent  election  to  a  seat  in  the  United 
States  Senate  was  deemed  highly  probable. 

Roland  bore  his  disappointment  and  chagrin  with  an  as 
sumed  equanimity  of  temper,  but  with  a  secret  determination 
to  be  revenged  on  the  author  of  his  defeat.  He  had  reason  to 
believe  that  Walter  had  been  long  enamored  of  Virginia, 
Colonel  Oakdale's  daughter,  and  he  could  not  avoid  a  supposi 
tion  that  the  partiality  was  reciprocal.  But  a  desire  to  ex 
empt  the  lady  from  unhappiness,  was  not  so  powerful  a  motive 
in  his  breast  as  the  inclination  to  punish  the  young  man ; 
therefore  he  resolved  to  put  his  scheme  in  immediate  execu 
tion. 

It  was  while  Walter  still  remained  at  the  Winkle  mansion, 
that  Roland  made  one  of  his  formal  visits  to  the  colonel's 
residence.  If  the  colonel  at  first  regarded  his  visitor  with 
dread  and  apprehension — for  it  occurred  to  him  that  he  might 
demand  the  payment  of  the  debt  of  ten  thousand  dollars  under 
the  sting  of  his  political  disappointment — he  was  soon  unde 
ceived  ;  and  upon  observing  that  the  attention  of  his  guest  was 
bestowed  almost  entirely  as  usual  upon  his  daughter,  he  mani 
fested  his  delight  in  every  conceivable  way,  and  assured  Ro 
land  that  no  one  could  be  a  more  welcome  suitor  than  himself. 
To  manifest  his.  approbation,  and  his  confidence  in  the  unsuc 
cessful  candidate,  the  colonel  proposed  to  sally  forth  alone  in 
quest  of  woodcock,  his  favorite  game.  Roland  made  not  the 
slightest  objection,  and  impatiently  awaited  his  departure. 

One  of  the  colonel's  most  remarkable  peculiarities  was  a 
passion  for  the  fresh  air  of  heaven ;  and  hence  his  desire  to 

11 


242  THE  WINKLES. 

be  in  the  woods  and  fields  as  much  as  possible.  And  if  he 
was  delighted  to  be  out  in  the  wholesome  atmosphere  where 
he  could  enjoy  the  perfumes  of  blossoms,  it  followed  very  na 
turally  that  he  had  a  nose  peculiarly  sensitive  to  unpleasant 
odors.  On  the  very  morning  of  the  arrival  of  Roland  at 
Oakdale  Hall,  the  colonel  imagined  that  something  offensive 
and  deleterious  was  concealed  about  the  house,  which  sent  a 
disagreeable  effluvium  into  most  of  the  apartments.  He  had 
on  his  velvet  hunting  coat,  and  held  his  gun  in  his  hand,  when 
the  stench  became  so  great,  that  he  paused,  and  ordered  every 
one  in  the  house  to  seek  the  cause  of  the  insufferable  annoy 
ance.  It  had  not  been  discovered,  however,  before  the  depar 
ture  of  the  colonel. 

The  colonel,  by  a  natural  conjuncture  of  ideas,  while 
striding  over  his  grounds,  and  meditating  on  the  importance 
of  securing  an  ample  provision  for  his  daughter,  bethought 
him  of  his  young  protege,  Walter  Winkle,  and  of  the  many 
instances  of  his  manifestations  of  approval  of  the  intimacy 
that  subsisted  between  him  and  Virginia.  Now,  if  Roland 
had  any  serious  idea  of  a  matrimonial  alliance  with  his  family — 
a  political  one  was  out  of  the  question,  and  the  colonel  would 
have  perished  at  the  stake  before  violating  a  principle — it  was 
plain  that  no  such  purpose  ought  to  be  entertained  by  Walter. 
He  despised  Roland's  politics ;  he  approved  Walter's  princi 
ples.  But  the  one  was  rich  and  the  other  poor ;  and  Walter, 
as  a  rational  creature,  and  as  the  friend  of  Virginia,  would 
see  at  once  the  benefit  the  young  lady  would  derive  by  a  re 
jection  of  his  hand  and  an  acceptance  of  Roland's.  The  col 
onel,  accustomed  to  see  his  views  instantly  adopted  by  all  within 
the  sphere  of  his  influence,  did  not  deem  it  necessary  to  conjec 
ture  what  might  be  the  opinion  of  his  daughter  on  the  subject. 
But  he  determined  to  confer  frankly  with  Walter ;  and  for 
that  purpose  he  directed  his  steps  toward  the  Winkle  man 
sion. 

Walter  was  lounging  in  the  portico  when  he  saw  the  colonel 
approach  with  his  dog  and  gun.  He  started  up  with  symptoms 
of  delight,  for  he  was  growing  weary  of  his  aunt's  hospitalities. 
Pollen  had  gone  to  the  city  to  issue  the  first  number  of  his 
magazine ;  Lowe  was  spending  most  of  the  pleasant  hours  of  the 
day  creeping  alone,  or  with  Bill  Dizzle,  through  the  bushes  on 
the  margin  of  the  brook,  in  pursuit  of  the  trout ;  Napoleon  was 
planning  new  campaigns ;  and  the  Arums  and  Crudles  were 


A  DAY'S  SHOOTING.  243 

detailing  the  enjoyments  they  anticipated  the  next  winter  in 
the  fashionable  circles  of  New  York,  whither  their  parents 
had  agreed,  for  the  first  time,  to  permit  them  to  sojourn  for  a 
brief  season,  in  imitation  of  certain  belles  whose  fortunes  had 
been  inherited. 

"  Get  a  gun  and  come  along  with  me,  Walter,"  said  the 
colonel. 

"  Willingly,"  replied  Walter.  "  But  come  in  and  have  a 
glass  of  water,  while  I  am  selecting  a  gun." 

"  Yes,  Colonel  Oakdale  !  "  cried  Griselda, "  come  in.  Bring 
ice  water.  Sit  down,  colonel.  You  know  my  guests." 

"To  be  sure  I  do.  They  are  famous  throughout  the 
country." 

"  Oh,  la,  Colonel  Oakdale,"  said  the  young  ladies,  "  what  a 
flatterer ! " 

"  Not  I.  Curse  the  water — that  is.  the  water  alone — " 
said  the  colonel,  to  the  servant.  "  Bring  the  brandy.  I 
know  the  law  don't  allow  me  to  drink  it — but  am  I  not  a  law 
maker?" 

"  And  a  law  breaker,"  added  Miss  Arum,  laughing  heartily 
at  the  joke. 

"  Yes,"  replied  the  colonel,  drinking,  "  and  a  law  breaker. 
It  proves  what  I  have  always  said,  that  nothing  could  be  more 
demoralizing  than  to  enact  laws  which  will  not  be  observed. 
It  breeds  a  habit  of  violating  the  statutes,  and  the  ultimate 
consequences  may  be  more  calamitous  than  the  reformers  are 
aware  of." 

"  No  doubt  you  are  perfectly  right,"  said  Griselda.  "  But 
colonel,  why  has  not  Virginia  been  to  see  me  ?  " 

"  Oh,  she  is  coming  soon !  She  would  have  been  here 
several  days  ago,  but  hesitated,  because  several  unmarried 
gentlemen  were  among  your  guests  ;  and  she  thought  it  might 
be  supposed  by  some  she  was  husband  hunting." 

"  I  should  be  sorry  if  any  one  supposed  that  was  my  ob 
ject  ! "  said  Miss  Arum. 

"  And  it  would  be  a  false  supposition  if  applied  to  me  !  " 
said  Miss  Crudle. 

"  I'm  ready,  colonel,"  said  Walter,  coming  in  with  a  gun 
slung  on  his  back. 

"  Very  well,"  said  the  colonel,  rising.  "  But,"  he  con 
tinued  in  a  low  voice  to  Griselda,  "  are  you  not  annoyed  by 
dead  rats  ?  At  my  house  the  stench  is  insufferable.  It  seems 


244  THE   WINKLES. 

to  me  I  have  smelt  something  of  the  kind  since  I  have  been 
here.  I  can't  imagine  what  could  have  killed  them  at  so  many 
different  places,  and  at  the  same  time." 

"  I  do  think  I  can  perceive  it  now,"  said  Grriselda. 

"  I  do,  very  distinctly,"  said  Walter.  "  Has  any  poison 
been  thrown  about  ?  " 

"  No  !  certainly  none  that  I  know  of,"  said  his  aunt. 

"  It  grows  stronger  and  stronger,"  said  the  colonel. 
"  Come,  Walter;  we  will  leave  the  ladies  to  smell  it  out." 

And  when  the  gentlemen  departed,  the  ladies  loudly  mani 
fested  their  horror  of  the  disagreeable  odor,  which  was  really 
painfully  disagreeable.  But  they  vainly  sought  the  cause 
of  it. 

"  I  believe,"  said  the  colonel,  leading  the  way  through  the 
orchard,  "  your  dead  rat  must  be  a  larger  one  than  mine.  I 
can  smell  it  yet.  We  must  get  terriers,  and  not  poison  them. 
Walter !  "  he  continued,  placing  his  hand  on  the  young  man's 
shoulder,  "  what  do  you  suppose  I  have  been  thinking  about 
all  day?" 

"  The  first  speech  you  will  deliver  in  the  U.  S.  Senate." 

"  No — though  I  think  I  shall  make  one  there — a  good, 
honest,  American  speech." 

"  Then  I  cannot  conjecture  what  it  is,  unless  it  be  how  to 
pay  the  $10,000  you  owe  Roland,  the  disappointed  candidate." 

"  That  is  pretty  close  shooting.  You  came  near  the  mark 
there.  Guess  again." 

"  Perhaps  you  have  been  thinking  that  when  you  arrive  in 
Washington,  you  may  prevail  on  the  President  to  appoint  me 
secretary  of  legation  at  London." 

"  Eh  ?  No,  I  didn't  think  of  that  ;  but  I  should  have 
done  it.  I  will  do  it,  Walter  !  Your  ideas  have  been  caught 
up  and  spread  all  over  the  State.  The  President  must  give 
you  the  appointment,  if  he  wishes  to  gratify  me.  You  have 
my  word  that  the  appointment  shall  be  conferred  on  you,  if 
my  influence  will  suffice.  You  know  my  word  is  never  lightly 
uttered,  and  my  promises  never  forgotten.  I  may  fall  out 
with  you,  and  even  hate  you,  if  such  a  thing  were  possible — 
or  you  might  hate  me,  which  would  be  a  more  reasonable  thing 
— still,  I  would  urge  the  justice  of  your  claims  with  none  the 
less  zeal  and  pertinacity." 

"  I  am  sure  of  it,  sir.  And  truly  such  an  office  would  be 
extremely  gratifying  to  me.  You  know  I  am  poor,  sir,  and 


I   HAVE    A   DAUGHTER.  245 

young ;  and  I  might  derive  benefit  from  such  an  appointment, 
before  I  marry  and  become  permanently  settled." 

"  True. — Look  out !  I  missed  him  !  "  said  the  colonel, 
seeing  the  cock  he  firod  at  enter  an  impenetrable  grove  of 
cedars.  "  Marriage,  in  your  present  condition,  is  out  of  the 
question,  unless  you  could  make  up  your  mind  to  take  one  of 
the  Arums  or  Crudles." 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha !  I  shall  desire  something  more  than  the 
prospect  of  a  share  of  an  estate  on  the  death  of  my  wife's 
father." 

u  I  didn't  suppose  they  would  suit  you.  You  deserve  a 
better  fate." 

"  Be  that  as  it  may,  I  hope  a  better  fate  is  in  reserve  for 
me." 

"  I  hope  so — I  hope  so — and  I  shall  always  hope  so,  even 
if  we  should  become  enemies.  And  even  in  that  event,  as  I 
said  before,  I  am  resolved  to  get  you  the  appointment." 

"  Enemies  !  Why  do  you  repeat  that  word,  colonel  ?  Such 
a  contingency  is  not  at  all  supposable.  We  have  never  dif 
fered  about  any  thing  in  our  lives." 

"  I  know  it — and  hence  I  fear,  if  we  should  differ  hereafter 
the  rupture  will  be  a  violent  and  irremediable  one." 

"  Colonel,  such  a  case  is  not  probable.  We  can  never  fall 
out,  I  am  quite  sure." 

"  We'll  see.  I'll  try  you.  But  I  tremble  almost ;  for  I 
love  you,  Walter.  I  have  a  daughter,  you  know." 

"Yes,  I  know  it." 

"  You  dog,  you,  I  am  sure  you  do  !  She  is  a  dutiful  girl, 
a  handsome  girl,  a  spirited  girl,  a " 

"  Colonel,  you  needn't  repeat  the  catalogue  of  her  good  qua 
lities  to  me.  I  know  them  as  well  as  you  do — perhaps  better. 
If " 

"No  ifs.  It's  no  such  thing.  You  are  mistaken.  An 
swer  me,  briefly  :  Have  I  not  always  encouraged  the  intimate 
friendship  which  subsisted  between  you  and  Virginia  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  True.  But  did  I  ever  say  you  should  have  my  consent  to 
marry  her  ?  Turn  your  face  away  like  I  do,  and  answer  me." 

"  No,  colonel,  I  must  admit  that." 

"  True.  But  has  there  not  been  reason  to  suppose  you  looked 
forward  to  such  a  consummation,  and  that  you  desired  it  ?" 

"  I  cannot  deny  it." 


246  TIIK    WINKLES. 

"  Now  wo  come  to  the  point !  Then,  if  I  should  withhold 
1113  consent,  would  you  not  fall  out  with  me — despise  me — be 
come  my  ninny  ?  " 

"No!  No,  ,sir,  no!  You  would  be  only  exercising  a 
right  which  every  parent  .should  possess.  So  far  from  being 
olleiidrd,  sir,  I  should  attribute  your  eoiiducl  lo  a  laudable 
desire  to  secure  (In-  li:i ppiness  of  your  child.  I  um  without 
fortune,  yinir  r.l.-ilei,,  I  K  now,  eiieu  111 1  icred  \\  i  t  h  debt;  and 
\our  motive  would  bo  to  uvert  (lie  evils  of  an  incompetoncy 
— to— 

"  You  are  a  noble  boy,  Walter  !  "  said  the  colonel,  embra 
cing  him.  ".Faugh  I  I  .still  smell  that  infernal  rat!  Then  we 
vr.mY  fall  out.  You  iinder.staml  my  condition  thoroughly. 
Hut — but — suppose  I  were  to  proiuoto  a  match  with  one  of 
lary.  r  possessions?  " 

"I  have  already  said  I  shall  seek  something  besides  for 
tune  when  I " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  im"Mi-i/t)ti — but  Virginia." 

"  Virginia  V" 

-    fei,  Virginia." 

"  \' ir^inia  inan-y  a  r'n-li  man  V  " 

"  Yes  !      \Vhy  I  lie  deuce  are  you  so  much  astonished  at  it?" 

"  Oh,  if  .s7/r  were  so  disposed " 

"  Of  course  it^  could  never  lake  place  without  her  consent. 
I'm  I.  if  she  w<-re  lo  consent  to  such  a  thing,  in  obedience  to  my 
re(|iiest,  would  you  have  ;i  rnplure  with  mo  ?  " 

"  No,  sir  !  If  she  consented  to  it,  1  should  luiVO  110  re- 
proaches  to  utter  !  M  replied  \Valter,  sadly. 

"She  would  ha\e  to  consent  to  it,  before  it  could  take 
pl:iee.  You  don't  suppose  me  capable  of  cutHjtff/hig  my 
daughter  to  \ved  an\  one  repugnant  to  her?  " 

"  No,  sir;  1  do  not  suppose  any  thing  of  the  sort.  And 
1  admit  a  father,  and  an  only  surviving  parent,  should  have 
the  po\\er  of  preventing  a  marriage  which  is  displeasing  to 
him." 

"  Wh\,  we  understand  one  another  perfectly!  llcmcmbcr 
1  ha\e  no  right  to  force  Virginia  to  marry  against  her  will, — 
and  she  has  no  right  to  wed  without,  my  consent.  That  is  rea 
sonable,  and  1  shall  agree  to  it.  If  she  opposes  my  will,  I 
shall  have  the  advantage  of  her." 

"  How  so,  sir  ?  " 


A    RAT.  247 

"  Why,  she  may  die  an  old  maid — and  I  have  no  disposi 
tion  to  marry  again." 

"  Very  true.  But  in  the  mean  time,  I  hope  I  shall  not  be 
forbidden  her  company  ?  " 

"  No.  That  would  be  mean  and  tyrannical.  Hang  me  if 
I  haven't  brought  you  to  my  house,  without  knowing  where  I 
was  going — and  yonder  is  Dash  setting  a  bird  a  mile  off!  No 
matter,  Walter ;  since  we  have  agreed  not  to  disagree.  But 
I  haven't  told  you  who  it  is  I  have  my  eye  upon " 

"  You  are  looking  at  the  dog,  sir  !  " 

"  You  are  a  sly,  sarcastic  rogue  !  I  suspect  that  had  a 
double  meaning.  But  he  is  with  Virginia  now." 

"  Who  ? » 

«  Roland." 

"  Roland  !  Oh,  very  well,  sir.  He  is  rich.  He  is  fond 
of  the  society  of  ladies.  I  have  not  a  word  to  say,  sir,  why 
he  should  not  be  the  man.  I  will  not  say  a  word  to  injure 
him,  sir.  Let  him  propose.  Let  him  do  his  best.  You  have 
said  you  will  not  constrain  her " 

"  Yes,  I  have  said  it — and  that's  enough.  You  shall 
not  be  turned  out  of  doors ;  don't  apprehend  any  thing  of  the 
kind.  But  don't  quarrel  with  him.  Calm  your  excite 
ment " 

"Am  I  excited?" 

"  Do  flashes  of  lightning  indicate  a  cloud?  But  you 
can't  see  your  own  face.  Come  in.  There's  the  cursed  rat 
again !  I'll  find  it,  or  tear  the  house  down.  Oh,  I'll  lead 
you  into  the  parlor,  since  you  are  so  pale." 

And  when  they  entered,  if  the  colonel  had  cast  his  eyes 
toward  his  daughter's  face,  he  might  have  seen  more  flashes. 
Doubtless,  Roland  had  been  urging  his  suit;  but  from  the 
manner  in  which  Virginia  greeted  Walter,  that  young  gentle 
man  felt  assured  his  rival  was  not  likely  to  succeed  imme 
diately. 

"  Don't  you  smell  a  rat?  "  asked  the  colonel,  sitting  besido 
Roland. 

"  I  certainly  do  perceive  a  disagreeable  odor,  colonel, 
since  you  mention  it;  but  I  have  not  observed  it  before." 

"  That  proves  you  have  been  agreeably  entertained  ;  for  I 
smelt  it  before  I  went  forth  with  my  gun,  and  before  your  ar 
rival.  Here,  Tom  !  Dick  !  Harry  !  Susan  !  Nell !  Come  and 


248  THE   WINKLES. 

remove  the  bushes  from  the  fireplace.  Look  under  the  sofas 
and  the  sideboard.  Tear  up  the  floor.  The  cursed  rat  is  in 
this  room,  or  near  it,  I'm  sure,  and  it  must  be  found,  or  I'll 
burn  down  the  house !  "  The  servants  came  in,  and  looked 
every  where  in  vain. 

"  Massa,"  said  Tom,  an  emancipated  slave  from  the  Old 
Dominion,  "  it's  nigh  you.  I  can  scent  like  a  dog,  and  I  track 
it  to  you." 

<J  Track  it  to  me,  you  infernal  fool !    What  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"  I'll  'splain,  massa.  You  killed  one  woodcock  last 
week " 

"  Yes,  last  week;  and  I  have  not  killed  any  since." 

"  That's  de  truf,  massa  !     Did  massa  eat  'im?  " 

"  No  !  Cook,  why  didn't  you  serve  up  the  cock  I  killed 
last  week  ?  " 

"  I  nebber  seed  it." 

«  Never " 

"  Stop,  stop,  massa  !  "  said  Tom.  "  I'll  'splain.  My  nose 
is  right.  Don't  be  'fended,  massa,"  he  continued,  inserting 
his  hand  into  one  of  the  pockets  of  the  colonel's  hunting-coat, 
and  pulling  out  the  woodcock,  in  an  advanced  state  of  decom 
position.  The  truth  was,  the  colonel  had  never  taken  the 
bird  from  his  pocket ;  and  although  he  recollected  the  fine  shot 
which  brought  him  down,  he  had  forgotten  every  thing  else. 
He  rushed  out  of  the  room  and  threw  off  his  coat,  while  Vir 
ginia  and  her  rival  suitors  were  convulsed  with  laughter. 

When  the  colonel  returned,  in  another  dress,  he  perceived 
his  daughter  at  the  piano,  and  a  suitor  on  each  side  of  her. 
Virginia,  like  most  of  her  sex,  seemed  amused  at  the  assidui 
ties  of  the  rivals  ;  but  could  not  restrain  her  merriment  when, 
ever  and  anon,  the  thought  of  the  rat  recurred  to  her. 

"  Sing  something  sad  and  pensive,  Virginia,"  said  her 
father. 

"  Yes,  father,"  said  the  laughing  girl;  "and  I  will  thank 
you  for  deciding  what  it  shall  be.  These  gentlemen  have 
been  naming  the  songs  they  are  partial  to.  and  they  are  so 
dissimilar,  I  know  not  which  to  oblige,  fearing  to  offend  the 
other.  But  if  I  can  please  you,  I  care  not  who  may  be  dis 
pleased." 

"  That's  a  good  daughter.    Sing  me,  then,  a  Scotch  song." 

She  did  so,  and  was  assisted  by  Walter. 


A   SONG.  249 

Sailor.  When  lightning  parts  the  thunder-cloud 

That  blackens  all  the  sea, 
And  tempests  sough  through  sail  and  shroud, 
Even  then  I  think  on  thee,  Mary. 

Shepherdess.  I  wrap  me  in  that  keepsake  plaid, 
And  lie  doun  'mang  the  snaw ; 
While  frozen  are  the  tears  I  shed 
For  him  that's  far  awa',  Willy  1 

Sailor.  We  sail  past  mony  a  bonny  isle, 

Wi'  maids  the  shores  are  thrang ; 
Before  my  ee  there's  but  ae  smile, 
Within  my  ear  ae  sang,  Mary. 

Shepherdess.  In  kirk,  on  every  Sabbath  day, 
For  ane  on  the  great  deep 
Unto  my  God  I  humbly  pray — 
And  as  I  pray,  I  weep,  Willy. 

Sailor.  The  sands  are  bright  wi'  golden  shells, 

The  groves  wi'  blossoms  fair; 
And  I  think  upon  the  heather-bells 
That  deck  thy  glossy  hair,  Mary. 

Shepherdess.  I  read  thy  letters  sent  from  far, 
And  aft  I  kiss  thy  name, 
And  ask  my  Maker,  frae  the  war 
If  ever  thou'lt  come  name,  Willy. 

Sailor.  What  though  your  father's  hut  be  lown 

Aneath  the  green-hill  side  ? 
The  ship  that  Willy  sails  in,  blown 
Like  chaff  by  wind  and  tide,  Mary  ? 

Shepherdess.  Oh !  weel  I  ken  the  raging  sea, 
And  a'  the  steadfast  land, 
Are  held,  wi'  specks  like  thee  and  me, 
In  the  hollow  of  his  hand,  Willy. 

Sailor.  He  sees  thee  sitting  on  the  brae, 

Me  hanging  on  the  mast ; 
And  o'er  us  baith,  in  dew  or  spray, 
His  saving  shield  is  cast,  Mary. 

"  Good  !  good  !  Walter,"  said  the  colonel.     "  Where  did 

you  learn  to  sing  so  well  ?     It  is  a  good  song.     You  should 

learn  to  sing,  Roland.     It  is  a  fine  accomplishment.     Thank 

you,  Virginia ;  I  do  not  regret  the  expense  of  your  music, 

11* 


250  THE  WINKLES. 

although  it  does  sometimes  start  a  tear.  Excuse  me,  my 
friends ;  I  have  an  irresistible  desire  for  a  lonely,  contempla 
tive  walk." 

"  Walter,"  said  Virginia,  when  the  colonel  had  departed, 
"  my  father  will  never  again  refer  to  your  adventure  in  the 
city,  for  fear  you  will  retaliate  with  the  tale  of  the  rat." 

"  I  will  retaliate  with  that  tale  if  he  does.  I  will  detail 
it  and  retail  it,  as  often  as  he  refers  to  my  adventure." 

.    "  May  I  have  the  slightest  hint  of  the  nature  of  the  ad 
venture  ?  "  asked  Roland. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  Virginia ;  "  he  can't  retaliate  on  me.  You 
will  not  be  offended  ? "  she  continued,  addressing  Walter, 
archly. 

"  No,  not  at  all — if  you  tell  every  thing  ;  what  was  found 
in  the  barrel,  and  all." 

"  No,  you  must  tell  it." 

cc  Another  time  will  answer,"  said  Roland,  with  an  air  of 
indifference ;  and  shortly  after  he  took  his  leave — having  first, 
in  a  whisper,  besought  Virginia  not  to  betray  any  of  his 
secrets. 

He  was  met  by  the  colonel  on  the  lawn,  and  a  long  conver 
sation  ensued  between  them,  and  in  view  of  the  parlor  window, 
in  the  recess  of  which  stood  Virginia  and  Walter. 

"  What  was  it  he  whispered,  if  I  may  be  so  bold  ?  "  said 
Walter. 

«  You  saw " 

« I  did." 

"  What,  a  whisper  ?  What  did  it  look  like  ?  But,  really, 
I  have  a  great  secret — one  that  will  make  you  exceedingly 
pale  when  you  hear  it.  Your  hair  will  stand  up,  and  perhaps 
turn  gray.  Do  you  think  you  can  bear  to  hear  it  now  ?  or 
would  it  not  be  better  to  prepare  you  for  the  disclosure,  by  a 
little  tantalizing  suspense  ?  " 

" I  will  forestall  you.  I  know  it  already;  and,  perhaps, 
more  of  it  than  you  do.  He  is  a  suitor  for  your  hand,  and 
your  father  has  sanctioned  his  pretensions." 

"  And  so  my  father  has  made  a  speech  to  you,  too  ?  Well, 
the  agony  of  the  first  interview  with  my  proposed  husband 
is  over." 

"  Virginia !  tell  me — won't  you  tell  me  what  passed  be 
tween  you  before  I  came  in  ?  What  did  he  propose  ?  What 
did  you  say  ?  " 


AN   OFFER   OF    MARRIAGE.  251 

0 

"  He  proposed  to  marry  me." 

"  And  what  did  you  say  ?  n 
'  I  was  silent." 

"  Silent  ?  Heavens,  Virginia  !  did  you  not  know  how  he 
would  interpret  your  silence  ?  He  will  consider  you  irrevo 
cably  bound  to  him !  Why  did  you  not  speak  ?  " 

"  I  could  not  trust  myself.  I  did  not  like  to  give  vent  to 
an  outburst  of  anger,  and  it  would  have  been  highly  improper 
to  laugh  outright — both  of  which  inclinations  seized  me  al 
ternately." 

"  But  what  did  you  think  of  him?  " 

"  I  thought  he  was  a  fool !  To  suppose  that  a  desire  to 
possess  his  wealth  could  induce,  or  the  fear  of  his  vengeance 
constrain  me  to  lend  a  favorable  ear  to  his  audacious " 

«  I'll "  began  Walter,  starting  forward. 

"  No  you  won't !  He  had  a  right  to  say  what  he  did ;  and 
unless  you  promise  not  to  have  a  quarrel  with  him,  I  may  ac 
cept  him." 

u  I  promise,"  said  Walter,  resuming  his  position  at  her 
side.  "  Now  you  will  not  accept  him?  " 

"  No,  I  will  not." 

"  But  if  your  father  desires  it  ?  " 

"  He  will  not  desire  it,  if  it  be  repugnant  to  my  inclina 
tion — which  it  is,  and  ever  will  be.  I  said  I  made  no  reply 
to  Roland.  I  did  not;  your  arrival  interrupted  the  interview. 
But  a  reply  was  burning  on  my  tongue  !  I  intended  to  say — 
but  it  would  have  displeased  my  father,  and  I  am  glad  I  did. 
not  utter  it." 

"  What  was  it  ?  Pray,  let  me  hear  what  it  was  you  in 
tended  to  say." 

"  That  I  would  rather  wed  Bill  Dizzle,  or  the  greenest 
frog  he  ever  caught,  than  you  ! " 

"Me?" 

"  Ralph  Roland !  " 

"  Brave,  noble,  lovely  Virginia  !  " 

"  Oh,  I  know  that;  you've  told  me  so  twenty  times,  and 
— I  almost  believe  you  think  and  feel  what  you  say." 

"I  do ;  and  I  say  the  truth !  But  we — I  mean  I — am 
poor— 

"  We  are  both  very  young,  and  can  wait " 

"  And  you  will  truly  and  faithfully " 

"What?" 


252  THE   WINKLES. 

• 

"  Wait  for  me  ?  Yes — I  see  it  in  your  eye !  I  will 
achieve  fortune  !  I  will  return  rich  !  " 

"  Then  you  will  leave  me  ?  " 

"  I  must — for  a  time.  But  you  will  be  beset  by  this  man 
— middle-aged  as  he  is  ;  importuned  by  your  father ;  implored 
by  your  friends,  to  yield — to  forget — to  abandon  me  !  " 

"  My  father  will  not  attempt  any  constraint." 

"  No  ;  he  promised  me  that,  and  he  will  not  disregard  his 
word." 

"  And  so  you  extorted  that  promise  from  him  ?  He  de 
clared  the  same  to  me,  before  I  could  be  prevailed  upon  to 
permit  Roland  to  approach  me  with  his  ridiculous  pretensions. 
I  have  agreed  to  see  him  whenever  he  comes,  and  to  give  him 
an  opportunity  to  win  me,  if  he  has  the  ability." 

"  You  have  agreed  to  that?  " 

"  Certainly  ;  but  you  know  he  has  not  the  ability.  I  shall 
amuse  myself  at  his  expense." 

"  Virginia,  beware  of  the  arts  of  that  man  !  " 

"  Art  has  nothing  to  do  with  it ;  it  is  nature.  One  Winkle 
to  a  thousand  Rolands  !  " 

"  My  glorious  Virginia  !     I " 

"  Stop  !  Be  careful !  You  forget  that  your  gestures  may 
be  observed,  and  then  you  may  be  banished  before  the  time 
fixed  upon  by  yourself  for  your  departure.  One,  two,  three, 
four — will  it  be  four  ?  " 

"Four  what?" 

"  Years.  Yes,  I  think  so.  But  I  will  be  true.  Be  you 
the  same  ! " 

"  If  I  should  not  be,  may- " 

"  No  solemn  pledges — no  oaths.  If  you  meet  with  one 
you  like  better  than  Virginia,  take  her.  I  will  wait  and  see. 
Here  comes  my  father." 

Walter  was  loved  almost  as  much  by  the  colonel  as  by  his 
daughter;  and  hence,  although  Roland  had  just  intimated  a 
wish  that  his  youthful  rival,  destitute  as  he  was,  might  not  be 
so  freely  entertained  as  formerly,  yet  was  Walter,  in  accord 
ance  with  the  colonel's  custom,  pressed  to  remain  at  the  man 
sion  the  remainder  of  the  day.  And  the  invitation  was  so 
earnestly  given,  and  so  sweetly  seconded  by  the  glances  of 
Virginia,  that  the  young  man  felt  incapable  of  tearing  himself 
away. 


SEEKING    OFFICE.  253 


CHAPTEK   XXIII. 

WALTEK  TAKES  LEAVE  OF  HIS  AUNT— THE  WIDOW  WINKLE'S  HOUSE 
SOLD  OVEK  HEE  HEAD. 

IT  was  winter.  The  Arums  and  Crudles  had  extorted  suffi 
cient  money  from  their  parents,  to  defray  the  expenses  of  a 
two  months'  residence  in  New  York.  They  stopped  a  whole 
day  at  a  fashionable  hotel,  that  their  names  might  be  an 
nounced  in  the  newspapers ;  afterwards  they  moved  to  a  fash 
ionable  up-town  boarding-house.  They  had  no  relations  in 
the  city  but  some  poor  cousins — and  the  Arums  and  Crudles 
likewise,  were  cousins — whom  they  had  long  since  ceased  to 
associate  with  on  familiar  terms.  The  father  of  their  New 
York  cousins,  was  a  small  tradesman  ;  he  kept  a  shop,  and  sold 
ladies'  shoes.  Mr.  Poke  was  poor  ;  and  of  course  he  did  not 
even  have  the  custom  of  his  wealthy  relations  from  Babbleton, 
much  less  their  social  visits. 

Congress  having  assembled,  Walter  resolved  to  try  his 
fortune  at  Washington,  whither  Mr.  Plastic  had  written  in  his 
behalf  to  the  President ;  and  there  seemed  some  prospect  of 
success ;  at  least  such  was  the  purport  of  one  of  the  replies 
signed  by  the  President's  private  secretary. 

Lowe  accompanied  Walter  as  far  as  Philadelphia,  hoping 
to  learn  something  definite  in  relation  to  the  abode  of  Lucy, 
whose  absence  had  become  insupportable.  Walter,  however, 
was  pledged  to  secrecy,  so  long  as  Lowe's  secret  remained  un 
explained.  Such  was  Lucy's  peremptory  command. 

The  young  men  rung  at  the  door  of  the  Winkle  mansion, 
and  were  instantly  admitted  by  Rose.  Being  conducted  into 
the  parlor,  they  were  immediately  joined  by  Miss  Wilsome, 
dressed  in  her  superb  style,  and  in  readiness  for  the  enjoyment 
of  the  gayest  society. 

"  Mr.  Lowe  !  "  cried  she..    "  My  dear  friend,  I  am  glad  to 

see  you.     Why  have  you  neglected  me  ?     Who  is  that  1 "  she 

asked,  pointing  to  Walter,  who  sat  at  the  other  end  of  the  sofa. 

";'It  is  Walter,  your  nephew,"  said  Lowe,  wondering  why 

Walter  did  not  answer  the  question  himself. 

"  Walter  ?  Oh,  that  disobedient  boy !  I  don't  know  him. 


254  THE   WINKLES. 

You  may   take  your  leave,  sir,"    said  she,  addressing  her 
nephew,  "  and  remain  away  until  I  send  for  you." 

"I  called  merely  to  pay  my  duty,  aunt,  and  take  my  leave," 
said  Walter,  rising.  "  I  am,  perhaps,  on  the  very  eve  of  leav 
ing  the  United  States,  never  to  return." 

"  Sit  down,  sir !  "  she  cried,  in  a  startling  voice.  "  Ex 
plain  the  meaning  of  your  words.  Why  should  you  leave 
your  country  ?  " 

"  My  mother  is  poor " 

"  Nonsense !  It  is  not  so — it  cannot  be  so,  with  the  for 
tune  my  brother  inherited,  and  the  handsome  dowry  possessed 
by  herself.'  It  is  impossible.  But  what  could  you  do 
abroad?" 

"  If  I  go,  it  will  be  in  the  capacity  of  a  diplomatic  agent. 
I  hope  to  obtain  an  appointment  of  that  character  from  the 
President,  and  am  now  on  my  way  to  Washington  with  letters 
of  introduction  and  recommendation." 

"  Burn  them,  and  go  home  !  That  is  my  advice.  A  Win 
kle  to  stoop  to  that !  An  office-seeker  !  Do  you  not  know  it 
is  derogatory  to  your  character  to  hold  office  under  the  pres 
ent  executive,  or  under  any  of  them,  elected  as  he  was  ?  No, 
sir !  Let  the  Irish  and  German  grog-shop  keepers  have  the 
offices  !  If  they  can  make  Presidents,  they  can  fill  the  subor 
dinate  posts.  Will  you  burn  your  papers  ? ': 

"  I  cannot,  aunt ;  I  am  pledged " 

"  Very  well.  Farewell,  then.  I  have  heard  it  said  you 
should  have  been  bred  to  some  useful  pursuit — but  I  never 
supposed  you  could  take  up  such  a  low  trade  as  the  politician's. 
You'll  die  a  beggar.  Mind  that.  Your  uncle  will  have  an 
heir  to  cut  you  off  from  the  reversion — provided  Gusset  finds 
out  her  husband  has  but  a  life  estate  in  the  lands.  She  can 
manage  it — the  Lord  knows  how — I  don't.  But  she  would 
produce  one.  Your  father  squandered  money  and  lost  repu 
tation  in  office.  But  he  was  elected  by  the  people,  not  ap 
pointed  by  any  of  your  Irish  Presidents.  If  he  died  poor, 
which  I  cannot  believe,  you  may  be  sure  he  lost  his  fortune  in 
politics." 

"  Aunt,"  said  Walter,  "  I  have  nothing  to  lose." 

"  Nothing  to  lose  ?  You  are  a  Winkle !  You  have,  a 
name,  and  I  suppose  a  character  to  lose.  Go  along  about  yo'ur 
foolish  business !  You  may  stay,  however,  till  after  dinner, 


WINKLE   TAKES   LEAVE   OF   WILSOME.  255 

if  you  will  take  dummy  and  play  against  Mr.   Lowe  and  my 
self." 

"  I  should  be  delighted,'  said  Lowe,  rising,  "  to  make  one ; 
but  I  have  an  engagement  an  hour  hence,  which  I  am  bound 
in  honor  not  to  neglect.  I  came,  Miss  Wilsome,  once  more  to 
entreat  you  to  tell  me,  if  you  can,  where  I  may  find  your 
niece " 

"  My  niece  !  Gone  into  politics,  I  suppose,  or  some  other 
disreputable " 

"  Disreputable,  madam  !  " 

"  I  mean  taken  up  some  disgraceful  employment  or  other. 
Such  as  teaching  music,  or  laboring  in  some  way  to  make  a 
living,  when  I  am  absolutely  certain  her  father  possessed  an 
ample  fortune.  Oh,  you  needn't  look  so  disconsolate,  if  you 
really  love  the  girl.  She  is  handsome  enough,  and  I  will  an 
swer  with  my  life  for  her  propriety  of  conduct." 

"  You  know  not  where  she  is  ?  " 

"  I  do  not." 

"  Then  she  is  not  in  the  city?  " 

"  No,  I  think  not.  Nor  in  New  York,  either,  although 
she  has  an  aunt  there,  too." 

'•She  has?" 

"  Yes,  she  has.     But  she  could  never  live  with  her." 

"  Her  name?  " 

"  Flora  Blount — a  fat  creature,  who  lives  on  novels,  while  a 
keen-eyed  Scotch  woman,  her  companion,  a  Miss  McCrabbed, 
steals  her  money." 

"  Lucy  is  there — I  am  sure  !  "  said  Lowe. 

"  And  I  am  sure  she  is  not.  Miss  McCrabbed  would  not 
permit  it.  She  would  make  the  house — and  a  fine  old  man 
sion  it  is — too  uncomfortable — unless,  indeed,  Lucy  had  the 
art  to  quote  some  of  Flora's  favorite  passages  from  the  English 
novels,  and  make  them  apply  to  her  case.  But  then,  I  don't 
think  a  Winkle  would  stoop  to  contend  with  a  Scotch  woman." 

"  She  is  there,"  continued  Lowe. 

"  If  she  is,  she's  safe.  Therefore  you  can  play  with  per 
fect  composure." 

Lowe  thought  differently,  although  he  did  not  say  so.  He 
departed  to  keep  his  appointment,  promising,  however,  to  re 
turn  if  he  remained  in  the  city. 

"  Aunt,"  said  Walter,  rising,  "  I  must  go,  too.     Farewell." 
"  I  won't  take  your  hand,  if  you  are  going  to  dabble  in 


256  THE   WINKLES. 

filthy  politics.     After  the  expulsion  of  foreigners  from  office, 
gentlemen,  and  Americans  may  succeed  to  the  government." 

"  Can  you  tell  me  any  thing  about  Pollen,  aunt?  I  have 
sought  him  in  vain." 

"  Yes ;  he  left  the  city  last  week.     He  is  in  New  York, 
and  I  hope  he  will  fall  in  with  your  Aunt  Blount." 

"  She  would  have  to  feed  on  something  more  substantial 
than  fashionable  British  novels  to  entertain  him.  But  I  am 
sorry  his  magazine  was  a  failure.  The  first  number — and  it 
was  the  last — was  really  magnificent." 

"  Of  course  it  was.  He  has  more  genius  than  all  the 
tribe  of  his  persecutors  combined.  But  it  was  his  own  fault 
he  failed.  He  sent  me  the  magazine,  and  I  was  pleased  with 
it,  and  sent  for  him.  He  came ;  and  what  do  you  suppose  he 
said  to  me  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  guess.     He  is  different  from  other  men." 

"  He's  a  fool !  He  told  me  that  Gusset,  the  stitching 
milliner,  had  loaned  him  the  money  to  begin  his  publication ! 
And  he  said  he  had  no  doubt  she  would  loan  him  as  much 
more  as  he  wanted." 

"  Then  he  was  mistaken." 

"  Certainly  he  was !  What  better  could  he  expect  from 
her,  a  low-bred  milliner  !  She  patronizing  a  man  of  genius  !  " 

"  She  showed  me  his  letter,  a  grateful  acknowledg 
ment " 

"  Grateful,  indeed !  I  don't  believe  it.  He  is  incapable 
of  gratitude.  All  geniuses  are  forgetful  of  favors." 

"  However,  his  thanks  expressed  in  that  way  did  not 
please  her.  She  was  disappointed  with  the  magazine " 

"  How  could  she  appreciate  its  merits  ?  She  knows  no 
thing  of  literature." 

tk  But  she  could  have  read  her  own  praises  in  poetry  or 
prose,  and  there  was  nothing  of  the  sort  in  it." 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  Gusset  wanting  to  be  flattered  in  print ! 
Fool  as  he  is,  Pollen  has  too  much  sense  to  be  guilty  of  any 
such  absurdity." 

"  She  therefore  returned  the  magazine,  and  refused  to 
loan  him  more  money.  She  went  further,  and  sent  him  a 
bill,  and  a  dun  for  what  she  had  already  advanced." 

"  The  milliner  !  A  bill !  A  dun  !  Just  like  her  !  She 
knows  how  to  receipt  a  bill  for  a  bonnet.  It  is  part  of  her 
trade.  The  idea  of  sending  a  bill  to  a  poet !  Oh,  Walter, 


GENEROSITY.  257 

you  see  what  it  is  to  have  to  do  with  vulgar  people  !  But  I 
wish  Pollen  had  shown  me  her  letter.  Ho  was  a  fool  for  not 
doing  so.  I  might  have  made  his  fortune.  But  I  was  in 
censed.  Printers,  papermakers,  and  others,  came  to  me  to 
know  if  he  was  responsible,  and  all  that.  I  had  them  turned 
out  of  doors  without  a  word  of  reply.  If  I  had  known  Gusset's 
conduct,  I  should  have  paid  their  bills ;  and  I  might  have 
caused  the  magazine  to  be  read  and  patronized  in  good  circles. 
But  the  fool  was  inflexible.  The  enterprise  failed,  inevitably. 
Then  a  bill  came  to  mo  for  the  price  of  the  number  I  had 
received." 

"  Is  it  possible  ?     I  did  not  think  Pollen " 

"  Oh,  necessity  knows  no  law,  they  say,  and  the  messenger 
said  Pollen  was  in  distress,  and  wanted  the  means  of  going  to 
New  York,  where  he  had  a  prospect  of  obtaining  employment 
as  a  sub-editor,  or  something  of  that  sort." 

"  Then  I  am  sure  you  paid  the  bill." 

"  I  threw  the  bill  in  the  fire,  and  sent  him  a  check  for 
fifty  dollars,  with  a  message  to  leavo  the  city  as  quick  as 
possible." 

"  That  was  noble  in  you,  aunt." 

"  It  was  different  from  Gusset's  conduct.  And  now,  since 
you  are  taking  your  final  leave  of  me,  for  I  shall  have  nothing 
more  to  do  with  you  when  lost  in  politics,  here  is  a  check, 
that  you  may  not  starve  in  the  streets.  No  thanks — not  a 
word,  or  I  will  throw  it  in  the  fire  !  There  !  Away  with  you, 
now  !  "  Walter  thrust  the  check  in  his  pocket  without  read 
ing  it,  and  hastened  away, 

Lowe  did  not  return  to  the  Winkle  mansion,  and  it  is 
doubtful  whether  Miss  Wilsome  was  able  to  make  up  the 
partners  for  her  game  that  day.  As  for  Lucy's  lover,  im 
pressed  with  the  belief  that  the  one  he  sought,  and  from 
whom  he  could  not  endure  a  longer  separation,  was  sojourning 
with  her  novel-reading  aunt,  he  lost  no  time  in  taking  passage 
for  New  York. 

At  Babbleton,  there  was  an  occurrence,  a  few  days  after 
the  departure  of  Walter,  which  must  be  noted  in  this  true 
and  faithful  history.  Roland,  as  if  it  might  console  him  for 
his  defeat  and  disappointment,  had  foreclosed  the  mortgage 
on  Mrs.  Winkle's  property,  and  advertised  it  for  sale.  At 
every  corner  of  the  village,  at  the  inns,  on  the  fences,  and  on 


258  THE   WINKLES. 

the  trees,  were  printed  handbills,  announcing  the  sale  of  the 
widow's  house  and  ground. 

And  the  wretch  still  had  the  impudence  to  visit  the  widow, 
and  attempt  to  justify  his  conduct  under  the  plea  of  necessity. 
He  said  he  owed  many  debts,  and  could  collect  nothing  except 
by  process  of  law.  Yet  he  never  omitted  to  hint,  that  if 
Lucy  would  favor  his  addresses,  the  claim  should  be  cancelled, 
and  he  would  either  sell  a  portion  of  his  own  property  to 
realize  the  sum  he  stood  in  need  of,  or  else  bring  suit  against 
other  persons  indebted  to  him. 

Mrs.  Winkle,  most  unaccountably  to  Roland,  far  from 
deprecating  his  proceedings  against  her,  besought  him  to 
spare  the  others.  This  incensed  him  very  much,  and  it  was 
with  great  difficulty  he  could  suppress  the  malignity  which 
consumed  him,  although  it  was  his  policy  to  avoid  an  irrecon 
cilable  rupture,  as  he  still  hoped  that  circumstances  might 
yet  throw  Lucy  within  his  grasp.  Therefore  at  every  inter 
view  with  the  widow,  he  sighed  and  groaned,  and  uttered  pro 
testations  of  his  constant  affection  for  her  daughter,  and 
lamentations  that  stern  necessity  compelled  him  to  foreclose 
the  mortgage. 

Virginia  amused  herself  at  the  expense  of  her  suitor,  and 
would  not  deign  to  make  a  definite  reply  to  his  urgent  en 
treaties  to  be  informed  of  his  future  fate.  But  he  knew  the 
spirit  of  the  girl,  and  could  build  no  expectation  of  success 
upon  any  of  his  own  allurements,  or  stratagems,  such  as  he 
had  employed  for  the  destruction  of  Lucy  and  others.  His 
only  hope  rested  upon  the  influence  of  her  father ;  but  upon 
that,  as  we  have  seen,  he  was  likely  to  rely  in  vain.  In  seek 
ing  to  consummate  an  advantageous  alliance,  Col.  Oakdale 
was  incapable  of  meditating  a  sacrifice  of  his  daughter's  hap 
piness  ;  of  knowingly  entertaining  for  a  moment  the  preten 
sions  of  a  man  wholly  unworthy  of  being  connected  with  his 
family.  Honorable  himself,  he  was  likely  to  be  the  last  to 
attribute  disreputable  motives  to  another. 

On  the  day  of  sale  there  was  a  large  crowd  assembled  in 
front  of  the  widow's  premises. 

Roland  stood  at  the  sheriff's  elbow,  with  a  recently-formed 
intention  to  buy  the  property  himself;  and,  as  his  tenants, 
he  doubted  not  Lucy  and  her  mother  would  evince  a  more 
tractable  spirit  than  they  had  hitherto  manifested. 

Bawson,  the  Scotch  lawyer,  was  there  to  bid  in  the  name 


THE  SHERIFF'S  SALE.  259 

of  Napoleon  Winkle.  This  had  been  arranged  by  Griselda, 
who  was,  as  she  congratulated  herself,  to  fall  heir  to  all  the 
real  estate  of  her  husband,  when  his  mortal  career  should  be 
ended.  The  lawyer  was  not  authorized,  however,  to  bid  more 
than  two  or  three  thousand  dollars,  which  Griselda  thought 
would  be  quite  as  much  as  the  property  would  bring  at  auction. 
She  felt  confident  that  Bawson's  bid  would  be  the  highest, 
and  that  henceforth  her  old  friend  and  protector,  now  fallen 
into  the  disgrace  of  poverty,  would  be  her  tenant. 

David  Deal,  the  Quaker  landlord,  was  there,  prepared  to 
•purchase  the  property  at  half  its  value,  if  no  one  bid  higher. 
Supposing  the  messuage  would  be  sacrificed,  and  that  he  would 
be  the  purchaser,  he  had  taken  the  precaution  to  prevent  any 
odium  that  might  be  attached  to  such  a  purchase,  by  assuring 
his  friends,  if  he  should  buy  the  property  at  a  low  figure,  it 
would  be  because  no  one  else  would  bid  higher  ;  and  as  a  man 
could  not  bid  against  himself,  and  as  the  purchaser  must 
always  be  the  highest  bidder,  he  ought  never  to  be  blamed  for 
receiving  double  the  value  of  his  money,  at  a  public  sale. 

John  Dowly  stood  with  folded  arms  in  the  crowd  assembled 
in  front  of  the  premises.  He  was  a  silent  spectator,  looking 
on  with  a  sorrowful  countenance.  Many  wondered  what  busi 
ness  lie  could  have  at  the  sale  ;  and  some  uttered  jests  at  his 
expense,  and  within  his  hearing. 

The  widow  sat  in  her  parlor  with  a  placid  countenance. 
The  window  was  hoisted,  .so  that  she  could  answer  any  inquiries 
respecting  the  conveniences  of  the  establishment. 

The  sheriff  read  aloud  his  authority  to  sell,  and  afterwards 
a  particular  description  of  the  property.  Then  the  house  was 
put  up  for  sale.  Davy  Deal  bid  $500. 

"  Five  hundred  dollars  !  "  cried  the  auctioneer ;  "  just  one 
eighth  of  the  amount  of  the  mortgage,  and  not  one  sixteenth 
of  the  value  of  the  property  !  " 

"  Thee  knows  I  can't  buy  it  if  any  one  else  bids  more," 
said  Davy. 

"  One  thousand  dollars,"  said  Mr.  Arum. 

"  Two  thousand,"  said  Mr.  Crudle. 

a  I'm  done,"  said  David ;  and  he  walked  away. 

"  Twenty-two  hundred,"  said  Bawson. 

"  Twenty-five  hundred,"  said  Roland. 

"  Twenty-five  hundred — twenty-five  hundred — two  thou 
sand  five  hundred — going — going " 


260  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Stop  !  stop  !  you  —  infernal  scoundrel !  If  you  sell 
it  before  I  get  there,  I'll  blow  your  brains  out !  "  This  was 
uttered  by  Sergeant  Blore,  who  approached  as  fast  as  possible, 
thumping  the  frozen  ground  at  every  step  with  his  wooden 
leg.  "Here,"  he  continued,  stumbling  up  to  the  sheriff,  and 
placing  in  his  hand  an  old  handkerchief,  in  which  were  wrapped 
gold  and  silver  coins,  and  rolls  of  city  six  per  cent,  bonds — 
"  Count  them,  I  say;  I  bid  that  much." 

"  You  had  better  not  interfere  in  this  matter,"  said 
Roland. 

"  Not  interfere  ?  Isn't  it  a  public  sale  ?  I  bid  that—I 
don't  know  exactly  how  much — but  if  he  takes  another  bid 
before  he  cries  mine,  I'll  pistol  him,  if  I  hang  for  it  the  next 
hour.  Not  interfere  !  Mr.  Roland  I " 

"  Well,  sir — what  do  you  want  with  me  ?  " 

"  You  are  a  rascal,  sir  !    That's  all !  " 

"What?    What?" 

"  You  heard  me,  and  so  did  all  the  people.  Ask  them. 
You  know  where  I  can  be  found.  I  shall  expect  to  hear  from 
you.  Sheriff,  you  can't  count  it  on  your  arm.  Put  it  down 
on  the  ground.  I'll  see  in  a  minute  how  much  my  bid  is." 
The  old  sergeant  sat  down,  and  spread  open  the  handkerchief 
between  his  legs.  Having  placed  a  small  pistol  on  one  corner 
of  the  handkerchief,  he  proceeded  to  count  the  money.  Before 
this  was  accomplished,  and  just  when  Roland  had  satisfied 
himself  the  sum  was  less  than  the  amount  of  his  own  bid,  old 
Dibble,  Mrs.  Winkle's  gardener,  came  running  from  the  bank 
with  a  hatfull  of  money — silver  and  gold,  and  small  bills 
mingled — which  he  poured  out  beside  the  sergeant's  treasure. 

"  There,"  said  he  "  count  that,  too.  Bid  it  all,  sergeant. 
I'll  stand  by  you.  He  is  a  rascal.  Never  fear." 

"  Fear  ?     I'm  not  afraid  of  the  devil !  " 

"  Hit's  a  scandal  hand  a  himposition  for  one's  usband  to 
squander  hany  thing  hin  that  manner,"  said  Mrs.  Edwards, 
from  an  upper  window  of  Lowe's  house.  "  Let  me  get  hat 
im,"  she  continued,  slamming  down  the  window,  and  disap 
pearing  from  view. 

"  Take  care  of  it,  Dibble  !  "  said  the  sergeant.  "  Don't 
let  her  touch  a  penny.  Swear  it's  all  your  own.  I'm  off  !  " 
And  the  poor  old  sergeant  scampered  away  with  a  sort  of  hop- 
step-and-a-jump  motion,  and  was  soon  out  of  view,  followed  by 
Mrs.  Edwards,  whom  he  distanced,  however. 


THE   WIDOW'S   BID.  261 

"  Twenty-six  hundred  dollars  ! "  cried  the  sheriff,  when 
Dibble  completed  the  count. 

"  Twenty-seven  hundred,"  said  Roland,  whose  face  was 
still  burning  with  the  rage  excited  by  the  sergeant. 

"  Four  thousand,"  said  the  widow,  from  the  window. 

"  That's  the  amount  of  the  mortgage,"  said  the  sheriff ; 
"  and  if  you  have  the  money,  and  enough  besides  to  pay  the 
costs,  &c.,  I  shan't  take  another  bid." 

"  She  has  no  money,"  said  Roland,  in  the  sheriff's  ear ; 
"  if  so,  she  could  have  paid  the  debt.  Don't  take  her  bid." 

"  I  must.  She  may  have  the  money.  I  rather  think  she 
has,"  he  continued,  espying  a  roll  of  bank  notes  partially  ex 
posed  in  the  widow's  hand. 

"  You  are  mistaken.  Else  why  did  she  permit  the  pro 
perty  to  be  advertised?  " 

"  She  may  have  had  reasons  for  it.  I've  known  such  things 
to  take  place.  She  may  have  wished  to  see  who  were  her 
friends,  or  whether  you  really  had  the  cruelty  to  sell  her  house 
over  her  head.  It  will  tell  against  you  at  the  next  election, 
if  you're  a  candidate." 

"  Proceed,"  said  Roland.  "  Discharge  your  duty.  I 
suppose  you  can  sympathize  with  any  one  after  your  com 
missions  are  secured." 

"  It's  a  free  country,  sir,  and  I  can  do  as  I  please  about  this 
matter.  It's  the  first  time  I  ever  cried  off  the  home  of  the  widow 
of  a  member  of  Congress,  and  I  hope  it  may  be  the  last.  But  her 
bid  shall  have  it,  and  if  she  has  not  got  the  money,  I'll  join  with 
old  Dibble  and  the  sergeant  and  make  it  up.  "  Going — going — 
Gone.  Too  late,  sir,"  he  said,  when  Roland  bid  five  hundred 
more. 

Mrs.  Winkle  was  attracted  by  a  stamping  in  the  hall. 

"  Who  is  it,  Biddy  ?  "  she  asked,  when  the  girl  entered. 

«  Dill  Bizzle." 

"  Show  him  in.  What's  the  matter,  Bill  ?  "  she  continued, 
seeing  the  frog-catcher  panting  with  excitement. 

11 1 — I  beg  pardon,  mam — but  I  hearn  they  was  going  to 
sell  you  out  of  house  and  home,  and  so  I  went  to  the  city  ear 
ly,  and  seed  Miss  Wilsome,  mam." 

"  Is  it  possible  ?  " 

u  Yes,  mam,  and  she'll  be  here  in  a  minute.  She  told  me 
to  run  on  before  and  stop  the  sale  till  she  come.  Yonder  she 
is,"  continued  Bill,  looking  out  of  the  window. 


262  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Stop  the  sale  !  "  said  Wilsome,  in  a  harsher  voice  than 
usual.  "  Where's  the  monster  ?  Oh,  there  you  are,  you  vil 
lain,"  she  continued,  approaching  Roland,  who,  however,  re 
treated  with  all  possible  expedition. 

"  The  sale  is  over,  madam,"  said  the  sheriff. 

"  Over  ?  Monstrous  !  Why  didn't  you  wait  till  I  ar 
rived  ?  " 

"  I  did  not  know  you  were  coming." 

"  Not  know  I  was  coming  ?  Ridiculous  !  Who  bought 
it?" 

"  The  widow  herself,  madam — and  she  has  placed  the  mo 
ney  in  my  hands.  It  is  in  large  bills,  and  is  perfectly  correct." 

"  Then  that  idiot,  Bill  Dizzle,  has  led  me  a  wild-goose 
chase.  I  broke  up  a  whist  party,  and  signed  half  a  dozen 
checks  for  nothing." 

"  Come  in,  sister,"  said  the  widow. 

"  No  !  I  wont !  I've  been  made  a  fool  of.  True,  the  idiot 
said  you  didn't  know  he  came  to  me.  That's  the  reason  I  de 
termined  to  come.  Now  I  find  there  is  nothing  for  me  to 
do — and  I  had  made  up  a  party  of  four,  and  dummy  was  not 
needed.  It  was  a  wild-goose  chase  !  I'll  go  back  in  the  down 
train.  I  hear  the  whistle."  and  turning  away  abruptly,  she 
strode  towards  the  depot.  And  it  was  observed  that  when  she 
approached  the  crowd  of  passengers  waiting  on  the  platform, 
Roland,  who  had  been  standing  among  them,  pulled  down  his 
hat  and  strode  off  in  another  direction. 

Before  the  crowd  dispersed,  three  hearty  cheers  were  giv 
en  for  the  widow,  and  as  many  groans  for  Roland. 

John  Dowly  was  invited  in,  and  constrained  to  stay  to 
dinner.  The  sergeant  made  his  appearance  in  the  kitchen, 
having  scaled  the  wall  in  the  rear,  being  assisted  by  the  Dib 
bles,  father  and  son. 

The  widow  quite  as  merry  as  ever  she  was  in  the  height 
of  prosperity,  thanked  her  kind  friends  with  tears  in  her 
eyes,  but  with  a  brave  heart  and  smiling  lips.  Even  poor  Bill 
Dizzle,  almost  annihilated  under  the  frown  of  Wilsome,  was 
reassured  by  the  grateful  widow,  who  appreciated  his  gene 
rous  motive. 


NEW    YORK    DURING    THE    REVOLUTION.  263 


CHAPTEK  XXIV. 

MISS  FLORA  BLOND'S  MANSION  IN  NEW  YOKK— LUCY  UNMASKS  THE 
SCOTCH  EDITH-  THE  MILNORS— THE  BLUE  CARRIAGE. 

THE  mansion  in  New  York,  occupied  and  owned  by  Miss 
Flora  Blount,  was  situated  near  the  Battery,  and  was,  half 
a  century  before,  considered  one  of  the  most  stately  and  desi 
rable  residences  in  the  city.  It  had  been  the  scene  of  many 
gorgeous  displays  during  the  Revolution,  and  when  Washing 
ton  was  shivering  among  the  snows  of  the  Highlands.  Its 
halls  and  spacious  chambers  had  resounded  with  British  rev 
elry,  while  the  stifled  groans  of  the  suffering  Americans,  ex 
posed  to  the  inclemencies  of  a  stormy  winter,  rose  in  effectual 
appeals  to  the  great  Arbiter  of  human  affairs ;  and  it  was  de 
creed  that  Sir  Harry  Clinton  should  ultimately  relinquish  not 
only  his  comfortable  quarters,  but  the  city  itself,  and  the  en 
tire  country,  to  their  proper  owners.  All  this,  however,  had 
transpired  years  before  the  characters  in  this  history  were 
born. 

But  the  mansion  itself  had  not  changed.  Since  the  death 
of  Maj.  Blount,  and  the  school  days  of  Edith  and  Flora,  the 
house  had  not  been  repaired.  There  had  been  no  paint  be 
stowed  on  the  doors,  the  window  shutters,  or  the  iron  railing 
in  front.  There  it  stood  just  as  it  had  done  in  the  old  colo 
nial  days,  a  specimen  of  British  architecture,  and  of  the  olden- 
time  ideas  of  comfort.  Dust  had  accumulated  on  the  sills, 
above  the  windows,  and  in  every  place  it  was  possible  to  find  a 
lodgment ;  and  the  spaces  between  the  windows  and  the  cor 
nices  were  festooned  with  cobwebs,  just  as  many  of  the  old 
houses  are  in  Parke  street,  London,  and  which  are  often  occu 
pied  by  the  nobility. 

Within,  however,  the  scene  was  different  from  the  interior 
of  the  Grosvenor  square  residences.  The  last  occupant  of  the 
Blount  mansion  seemed  to  have  made  no  effort,  or  did  not 
possess  the  pecuniary  ability,  to  vie  in  magnificence  of  furni 
ture,  with  the  proud  dames  of  the  fashionable  west  end  of 
London.  Within  and  without  the  scene  was  the  same.  Neg 
lect  or  dilapidation  was  observable  wherever  the  eye  might 


264  THE    WINKLES. 

rest.  The  old  lion-headed  knocker  remained  on  the  door ;  a 
great  glass  globule,  containing  the  oil-fed  lamp,  was  still  sus 
pended  in  the  hall ;  in  the  parlors  were  retained  the  old  high- 
backed  chairs,  the  carving  worn  smooth,  and  the  wood  turned 
black  with  age,  as  was  the  case  with  all  the  furniture ;  and 
the  carpets,  once  luxurious  and  beautiful,  were  now  thread 
bare,  with  their  figures  nearly  obliterated.  There  were,  how 
ever,  mirrors,  and  fine  paintings,  which  had  not  deteriorated, 
except  in  the  frames,  from  which  the  gilt  had  long  since  dis 
appeared. 

The  old  fire-places  remained  as  they  were  originally  built, 
and  no  gas-pipes  had  invaded  the  premises.  A  pump  was  in 
the  rear  yard,  from  whose  spout  Andre,  and  Agnew,  and 
Howe  had  quaffed  the  flowing  water.  The  spirit  of  in 
novation  had  passed  harmlessly  over  the  old  "Blount  home 
stead,  and  for  some  unexplained  purpose,  the  last  of  the 
name  was  permitted  to  escape  the  predominant  mania  of  the 
times. 

Like  many  other  ladios,  Miss  Flora  Blount,  having  survived 
the  last  decade  of  half  a  century,  had  neither  talent  nor  taste 
for  business.  But  she  had  enjoyments,  and  so  long  as  she 
might  not  be  molested  in  the  indulgence  of  them,  she  was  quite 
willing  the  burden  of  the  management  of  her  pecuniary  affairs 
should  be  borne  by  another.  And  in  her  case,  the  one  which 
had  been  supplied  by  chance,  was  eminently  adapted  to  the 
purpose,  both  of  relieving  her  principal  of  the  cares  of  provid 
ing  the  ways  and  means  in  an  economical  establishment,  and 
of  providing  for  herself.  This  individual  was  the  one  already 
introduced  to  the  reader — Miss  Edith  McCrabbed.  She  had 
been  recommended  by  one  of  Flora's  literary  acquaintances, 
when  travelling  abroad,  and  had  been  met  with  in  Edinburgh. 
She  was  the  niece  of  an  old  lady  of  decayed  fortune,  who  was 
under  the  necessity  of  letting  lodgings  in  a  house  she  held  on 
a  long  lease  in  Duke  street,  and  with  whom  had  sojourned  oc 
casionally,  Sir  Walter  Scott,  James  Hogg,  Jno.  Wilson,  and 
other  worthies  famous  in  the  world  of  letters.  Miss  Edith,  al 
though  she  had  acted  in  the  capacity  of  a  sort  of  upper  ser 
vant  to  her  aunt,  had  nevertheless  enjoyed  the  acquaintance  of 
the  lodgers,  and  became  familiar  with  many  anecdotes  relating 
to  their  professional  pursuits,  etc.  And  she  had  read  their 
works,  particularly  those  of  Scott,  and  of  the  other  writers  of  fic 
tion,  and  could  readily  sympathize  with  Flora  in  her  appreci- 


A    CHANGE.  265 

ation  of  romantic  characters.  She  was  a  treasure,  such  as  Flo 
ra  had  often  sighed  to  possess ;  and  Edith  soon  perceived  that 
her  lot  had  been  cast  with  one  exactly  suited  to  her  taste  and 
purposes. 

By  an  almost  imperceptible  process,  Edith  obtained  the  ex 
clusive  direction  of  the  affairs  of  her  confiding  employer,  and 
finally  managed  them  in  such  a  manner  that  the  least  possible 
amount  of  the  miseries  of  life  should  be  endured  by  either  of 
them,  while  the  greatest  possible  sum  of  profit  should  be  rea 
lized  for  herself.  One  after  another  the  servants  had  been 
dismissed,  and  Scotch  substitutes  were  temporarily  introduced 
to  perform  the  indispensable  duties  periodically  occurring. 
Last  of  all  the  cook  had  been  dispensed  with,  and  a  contract 
entered  into  with  a  Scotch -restaurateur  to  furnish  the  table. 
By  degrees  the  guests  entertained  at  Flora's  board  became 
diminished  in  number,  she  could  not  tell  how  or  why ;  and 
finally  they  ceased  altogether  to  enjoy  her  hospitality,  such  at 
least  as  involved  any  expense.  Upon  the  first  symptoms  of 
dissatisfaction  at  such  a  result  of  the  system  of  economy  in 
troduced  by  her  friend — she  never  called  her  otherwise — Edith 
exhibited  a  statement  of  the  income  and  expenditures  of  the 
establishment,  and  thus  silenced  all  objections. 

And  now  the  only  guests  that  the  circumstances  of  Flora 
permitted  her  to  entertain  at  the  social  hearth,  or  otherwise, 
were  the  few  surviving  old  maids  or  gay  matrons  who  had 
been  her  contemporaries  in  girlhood,  and  still  remembered  the 
importance  and  high  standing  of  the  Blount  family  in  former 
days.  These  ancient  friends,  themselves  mostly  aristocratic  in 
their  antecedents,  and  generally  wealthy,  from  the  increase  in 
value  of  old  estates  remaining  in  their  families,  which  appre 
ciation  their  husbands,  sons,  or  brothers,  had  the  acuteness  to 
perceive,  and  to  avail  themselves  of,  still  called  at  the  Blount 
mansion,  and  enjoyed  the  rhapsodies  of  Flora  over  the  last 
British  novel.  They  came  in  their  own  coaches,  while  the  eco 
nomical  administration  of  Edith  required  their  visits  to  be  re 
turned  in  omnibuses. 

The  table  was  set  in  tBe  breakfast  room,  before  a  diminu 
tive  fire  feebly  blazang  on  the  hearth ;  at  one  corner  of  which 
was  seated  Lucy  Winkle,  in  an  old  leather-covered  arm-chair ; 
at  the  other  Edith  McCrabbed,  enveloped  in  a  thick  shawl, 
occupied  a  low  stool. 

"  I  am  shivering  with  the  cold,"  said   Lucy,  putting  down 

12 


266  THE  WINKLES. 

the  paper  she  had  been  reading,  and  placing  on  the  fire  a  small 
piece  of  wood.  She  then  endeavored  to  assist  its  ignition  by 
means  of  the  bellows. 

"  Pardon  me,  Miss  Lucy,"  said  Miss  McCrabbed,  "  but  I 
must  warn  you  against  any  useless  extravagance,  if  you  would 
not  see  your  aunt  brought  to  absolute  destitution.  If  that  wood 
should  burn  as  freely  as  you  desire,  it  would  be  consumed  be 
fore  your  aunt  comes  down.  She  will  be  late  this  morning. 
You  know  it  was  midnight  when  she  left  the  opera  ;  and  after 
she  got  to  bed  I  read  the  piece  to  her  in  the  English  transla 
tion,  which  was  not  finished  until  three  o'clock  this  morning 
— for  the  affecting  scenes  had  to  be  repeated  three  or  four 
times " 

"  That  was  not  contrary  to  her  habit,  Miss  McCrabbed," 
said  Lucy,  puffing  away  with  the  bellows — "  but  I  don't  see 
why  we  should  not  be  comfortable.  I  am  sure  my  aunt  would 
be  grieved  to  think  we  had  been  suffering.  There  ;  it  is  burn 
ing  now." 

<:  It  would  almost  break  her  heart !  Never,  I  beg  of  you, 
insinuate  such  a  thing  in  her  presence.  You  know  how  deli 
cate  her  nerves  are,  arid  tender  her  sensibilities.  It  would  be 
cruel  to  wound  her  susceptible  feelings." 

"  True,  indeed.  But  still  it  seems  to  me  that  it  would 
be  cruel  to  ourselves  to  suffer  from  cold  for  the  want  of  a 
little  wood.  The  boy,  Mcllhenny,  when  he  comes  again,  ought 
to  fill  the  box." 

"  You  know  I  am  willing  to  do  any  thing.  I  have  no  pride. 
It  is  not  that  I  object  to  going  into  the  cellar  myself.  No, 
indeed.  There  is  no  sort  of  labor  or  drudgery  I  am  afraid  of 
putting  my  hands  to.  But  I  am  afraid  of  putting  them  too 
often  and  too  deeply  into  your  aunt's  purse.  Wood  is  eight 
dollars  per  cord,  and  they  charge  two  for  sawing  and  piling  it 
in  the  cellar." 

"  Well  ?  Is  not  my  aunt's  income  sufficient  ?  " 

"  Sufficient !  If  it  had  not  been  for  my  economy — my 
Scotch  economy,  as  some  of  the  extravagant  friends  of  your 
aunt  sneeringly  call  it — this  house  would  have  been  sold  over 
our  heads  long  ago." 

"  Is  it  possible  ?  Why,  does  not  my  aunt  own  another 
house  ?  " 

"  Yes — that  is  the  old  store  in  Broadway — and  it  alone  sup- 


THE    STATE   OF   THE    FINANCES.  267 

plies  the  means  of  subsistence.     She  has  lived  upon  the  rent 
of  it  these  thirty  years." 

"  What  sum  does  it  rent  for,  Miss  McCrabbed  ?  " 

"  It  would  be  difficult  to  say,"  said  Miss  McCrabbed,  petu 
lantly.  "  The  taxes  increase  every  year,  and  must  be  paid  out 
of  the  next  quarter's  rent,  which  does  not  fall  due  for  a  week 
yet.  Then  there  are  a  hundred  dollars  for  repairing  the  roof, 
and  other  items — over  five  hundred  dollars  in  all." 

"I  am  sorry  to  hear  it.  I  am  sure  it  will  require  a  large 
portion  of  the  quarter's  rent  to  pay  the  taxes  and  repairs." 

"  You  may  be  quite  sure  of  that.  But  if  it  was  all ! 
Only  glance  your  eye  at  the  bundle  of  bills  on  the  side  table. 
The  restaurateur's  bill  is  another  hundred,  and  the  booksel 
ler's  as  much  more  ;  and  there  are  twenty  smaller  bills,  and 
all  must  be  paid  on  the  first  of  the  month.  It  is  my  duty  to 
show  these  bills  to  your  aunt ;  but  she  never  shocks  her  nerves 
by  undoing  them  and  looking  at  the  disgusting  figures.  And 
when  they  are  paid,  she  won't  even  examine  the  receipts.  I 
am  astonished  that  a  young  lady  of  your  delicacy,"  continued 
Miss  McCrabbed,  as  Lucy  approached  the  table  and  untied 
the  papers,  "  can  have  the  patience  and  moral  courage,  or  rather 
the  hardihood,  to  read  the  items  ;  and  particularly  such  items 
as  some  of  them  contain.  I  would  not  look  at  them,  Miss 
Winkle.  The  cabinetmaker  has  put  down  so  much  for  mend 
ing  an  old  piano  leg,  and  repairing  a  sofa  bottom  ;  and  his 
charges  are  outrageous — but  must  be  paid." 

"  But  how  much  per  quarter  does  my  aunt  receive  for  the 
store  ?  "  repeated  Lucy,  whose  quick  eye  soon  comprehended 
the  rather  startling  sum  total  of  the  demands  to  be  met  at  the 
end  of  the  month,  then  on  the  eve  of  expiring. 

"  Oh,  it  was  rented  by  your  aunt  herself,  before  I  left  Scot 
land,  to  the  Messrs.  Milnor  &  Co. ;  you  can  ask  her.  I  have, 
it  is  true,  collected  the  rent  for  many  years,  and  paid  all  the 
bills." 

"  Then  you  know  exactly  the  amount  of  her  income  and 
expenditures  ?  " 

';  How  curious  you  are  !  If  some  of  your  aunt's  acquaint 
ances  were  to  hear  you,  they  wouldn't  hint  any  more  that 
poor  Edith  was  laying  plans  to  fall  heir  to  Miss  Flora's  for 
tune,  such  as  it  is." 

"  My  object,  Miss  McCrabbed,  is  to  learn  if  my  sojourn 
here  is  a  burden  that  ought  not  to  be  imposed  on  my  aunt." 


268  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I  am  sure  of  it,  if  any  extravagance  is  indulged.  You 
must  not  be  offended  at  my  plain  speech,  which  means  nothing. 
You  may  rely  upon  it,  your  kind  aunt  never  knows  what  she 
can  afford,  or  what  she  has  to  pay  with,  but  from  me.  Be 
economical,  as  I  am,  and  don't  startle  her  by  any  allusions  to 
her  pecuniary  affairs,  and  the  expense  of  your  living  shall 
never  enter  her  mind.  You  may  rely  upon  me  for  that." 

Lucy  mused  in  silence,  while  pretending  to  resume  the 
perusal  of  the  paper,  and  Miss  McCrabbed,  turning  away  her 
face,  employed  herself  in  separating  the  sticks  of  wood  in  such 
a  manner  as  to  prevent  them  from  being  too  quickly  consumed. 

Miss  Flora  Blount  came  down  at  length,  holding  a  volume 
in  her  hand.  There  were  traces  of  tears  on  her  cheeks,  evi 
dences  of  the  power  of  the  gifted  novelist. 

Miss  Flora's  age  has  been  already  hinted  at  sufficiently 
near.  But,  being  fat,  and  somewhat  rotund  in  outline,  she 
bore  her  years  very  lightly,  and  still  preserved  a  fulness  of 
cheek,  and  smoothness  of  skin,  not  often  possessed  by  others 
twenty  years  her  junior.  And  her  hair  was  still  of  a  glossy 
blackness,  which  was  sufficiently  indicative  of  the  fact  that 
her  sensitive  nerves  had  not  been  often  assailed  by  the  miser 
able  shocks  incident  to  age.  Poor  as  her  Scotch  companion 
represented  her,  it  was  nevertheless  quite  evident  that  appre 
hensions  of  future  destitution  and  misery  had  not  been  per 
mitted  to  prey  too  deeply  upon  her  tender  life.  Inroads  of 
that  nature  upon  her  spirits,  might  have  caused  an  investiga 
tion,  and  the  adoption  of  a  new  system  of  finance. 

"  My  dear  Lucy,"  said  Flora,  "  why  do  you  neglect  your 
toast?  Is  not  the  coffee  good ?" 

"  Excellent,  dear  aunt — it  is  always  good.  But,  for 
some  cause,  and  I  am  sure  I  cannot  describe  it,  my  appetite 
does  not  appear  to  be  so  voracious  this  morning  as  usual." 

"  You  alarm  me  !  Edith,  what  do  you  suppose  it  is  ? 
You  can  always  tell  what  ails  me,  and  find  a  remedy.  I  wish 
you  would  learn  the  habits  and  wants  of  Lucy.  She  must 
not  grow  melancholy,  or  I  shall  be  very  unhappy." 

"  She  has  been  allowing  her  mind  to  dwell  upon  pecuniary 
matters,  and  dull  affairs  of  business,"  said  Miss  McCrabbed. 

"  Oh,  don't  do  that,  my  dear  child — it  will  spoil  your  face 
If  I  had  undertaken  to  manage  my  own  business,  no  doubt  I 
should  have  been  in  the  grave  long  ago.  I  owe  my  life  to 
Edith.  Dr.  McGab  has  told  me  so  a  hundred  times.  And 


HOUSEKEEPING   PLANS.  269 

he  assures  me  I  shall  never  go  to  the  poor-house,  so  long  as 
his  countrywoman  can  be  induced  to  stay  with  me.  You  must 
give  me  at  least  a  ten  years'  notice,  Edith,  before  you  leave, 
so  that  I  may  put  my  house  in  order,  for  I  shall  not  survive 
your  loss.  Don't  shed  tears,  dear  Edith,  or  I  shall  be  un 
nerved.  I  am  sure  you  won't  desert  me.  But  if  Lucy  would 
get  you  to  think  for  her  on  the  subject  of  her  mother's  affairs. 
I  am  certain  you  would  be  able  to  devise  a  plan  by  which  my 
poor  sister  might  live  in  comfort  on  the  little  estate  she  has 
remaining." 

'•  I  would  do  so  with  pleasure,"  said  Miss  McCrabbed,  "  if 
it  were  not  that  Miss  Lucy  has  a  brother.  The  men  think 
our  sex  should  not  meddle  with  matters  of  business.  They 
deem  us  incapable  of  such  duties.  But — bless  me,  how  loud 
somebody  rings !  Excuse  me — it  must  be  the  postman." 
And  she  arose  and  went  to  the  street  door. 

"  She  was  mistaken,  aunt,"  said  Lucy.  "  I  was  not  dwell 
ing  upon  my  dear  mother's  affairs  at  all — but  upon  yours." 

"  Mine  ?  Oh,  leave  that  to  Edith.  She  understands 
every  thing,  and  her  face  is  already  spoiled  by  the  cares  of 
business." 

"  But  I  am  afraid  my  living  with  you  will  add  too  much 
to  your  expenses." 

"  Not  so  !  You  will  soon  get  accustomed  to  Edith's  ways. 
She'll  find  the  means  of  paying  the  bills.  See  what  a  number 
of  them  she  has  placed  on  the  table  for  my  inspection.  The 
honest  creature  really  supposes  I  may  some  time  or  other  be 
disposed  to  examine  them  !  " 

"  I  have  been  examining  some  of  them,  aunt ;  and  I  wish 
you  would  permit  me  to  go  and  settle  them  for  you." 

"  Have  you  no  aversion  for  such  things,  my  dear  Lucy  ?" 

"  Not  the  least.  I  have  been  accustomed  to  paying  my 
mother's  bills,  when  Walter  was  absent." 

"  If  you  could  relieve  poor  Edith — for  she  has  run  herself 
down  to  a  mere  shadow — but  then  she  would  not  consent  to  it. 
She  don't  mind  trouble.  If  she  had  not  dissuaded  me  from 
having  "Walter  along  with  you,  he  might  have  attended  to 
such  things — but,  really,  she  convinced  me  there  was  no  cham 
ber  fit  to  lodge  him,  without  additional  furniture  were  pur 
chased  ;  and  there  was  no  money  to  spare." 

"  Aunt  Flora,  can  you  tell  me  the  exact  sum  you  derive 
from  the  rent  of  the  store?  " 


270  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Not  exactly — but  Edith  knows.  I  leased  it  for  $2,000 
per  annum,  many  years  ago.  The  lease  has  been  renewed 
every  three  years,  Edith  having  my  authority  to  let  it.  I 
have  not  seen  Mr.  Milnor  for  a  great  while,  nor  been  in  the 
store  since  it  was  altered,  and  the  marble  front  added.  I 
suppose  the  expense  was  taken  out  of  the  rent ;  but  I  don't 
know;  and  I  have  an  utter  aversion  to  bills  and  figures." 

"  I  have  never  known  which  store  it  was,  aunt :  and  I 
should  like  to  see  it  when  I  pass  up  the  street.  Do  you  know 
the  number  ?  " 

"  I  declare  I  don't  remember.  But  you  can  find  it  by  look 
ing  in  the  directory  at  the  apothecaries'." 

"  I  will  do  so.  I  understand  all  these  bills  are  due,  aunt ; 
and  Edith  told  me  they  couldn't  be  paid  until  the  next  quar 
ter's  rent  fell  due.  Suppose  I  try  my  hand  at  this  business 
for  you?" 

"  If  you  have  any  taste  for  it,  child,  and  will  not  let  Edith 
know  any  thing  about  it,  I  am  sure  I  can  have  no  objection. 
You  know  Dr.  McGab  said  you  ought  to  walk  at  least  two 
hours  every  day." 

"  I  think  so,  and  I  was  always  fond  of  walking.  But  I 
dislike  going  alone.  Will  you  not  go  with  me  ?  The  doctor 
&aid  you  ought  to  walk  to  avoid  a  plethora  with  which  you 
are  threatened." 

"  I  am  too  indolent.  T  don't  care  what  the  doctor  says. 
My  health  is  nearly  always  good.  But  what  is  the  matter 
with  Edith  ?  Do  you  not  hear  her  sobbing  ?  " 

« I  do,  indeed." 

Edith  entered  the  room  with  an  open  letter  in  her  hand, 
and  tears  were  streaming  over  her  sallow  cheeks. 

"  I'm  ruined  !  "  said  she ;  "  all  my  savings  and  earnings  for 
ten  years  are  gone  !  " 

"  Why,  what  do  you  mean  ?  You  frighten  me,  Edith  !  " 
said  Miss  Blount. 

"  Oh,  my  dear  Miss  Flora,  bear  with  me,  and  don't  suffer 
your  dear  nerves  to  be  unhinged.  It  is  all  my  loss  ;  you  are 
fortunately  no  sufferer.  Read  it,  Miss  Blount — read  the 
terrible  letter.  But  I  beg  you  will  be  composed  !  " 

It  was  a  letter  from  Mr.  McCrabbed,  her  brother  in  Phila 
delphia,  informing  her  that  the  money  remitted  him  had  been 
placed  in  the  hands  of  a  clergyman  of  their  country  for  in 
vestment,  and  had  been  lost  by  his  failure. 


LUCY'S   ADVENTURES   IN    NEW    YORK.  271 

"  Edith ! "  exclaimed  Miss  Blount,  "  you  know  I  have 
a  horror  of  figures.  But  I  have  never  paid  you  any  wages 
yet,  as  I  intended  to  provide  for  you  in  my  will,  if  you  sur 
vived  me.  How,  on  earth,  then,  could  you  have  lost  $3,000 
by  this  dishonest  countryman  of  yours,  and  a  clergyman,  too  ? 
I  am  sure  you  had  no  money  when  you  left  Scotland,  for  I  re 
mitted  the  funds  to  pay  your  passage.  But  never  mind,  poor 
thing — see  how  she  weeps — any  other  time  will  do  to  explain. 
I  hate  such  things.  G-o  into  your  room  and  become  com 
posed." 

Edith  made  her  escape,  her  usually  pale  face  glowing 
with  rage — for,  acute  as  she  was,  she  had  inadvertently  made 
an  exposure  of  her  gains  which  had  not  been  at  all  necessary. 

"  Does  it  not  seem  to  you,  aunt,  that  there  is  something 
very  extraordinary  in  this  discovery?  " 

"  I  confess  it  seems  inexplicable,  Lucy.  But  I  have  a 
great  repugnance  to  such  things.  I  am  in  a  tremor  now, 
and  can  hear  the  palpitations  of  my  heart.  I  must  lie  down. 
You  can  go,  Lucy,  and  have  your  walk.  Edith  will  not  think 
of  the  bills  any  more  to-day ;  and  if  you  could  contrive  to 
have  them  paid  by  the  Milnors,  I  am  sure  it  would  save  Edith 
a  deal  of  trouble." 

Lucy  soon  after  descended  the  dingy  marble  steps,  and 
passing  through  the  old  iron  gate  which  creaked  on  its  hinges, 
and  required  all  her  strength  to  open,  joined  the  ever-moving 
throng  of  pedestrians  flowing  into  the  great  thoroughfare  of 
the  city.  Wrapped  in  her  furs,  and  radiant  with  health,  the 
fine  form  and  handsome  face  of  Lucy  could  not  fail  to  attract 
attention  in  any  city ;  but  in  New  York  the  curious  glances 
were  really  oppressive.  Nevertheless  she  was  a  brave  girl, 
and  had  resolved  to  rescue  her  aunt  from  what  she  believed 
to  be  an  iniquitous  thraldom. 

Glancing  over  the  bills  in  her  hand  as  she  walked  along, 
she  was  struck  with  the  fact  that  a  majority  of  her  aunt's 
creditors  were  Macs,  and  Cummingses,  and  Campbells ;  for 
it  had  never  occurred  to  her  before,  that  the  foreigners  who 
flourish  in  our  country,  when  once  they  obtain  a  foothold,  are 
extremely  clannish ;  and  proscribing  the  natives,  bestow  their 
patronage  on  their  own  countrymen. 

She  called  on  several  of  the  mechanics  and  tradespeople, 
and  exhibiting  their  bills  inquired  if  they  did  not  seem  a 
little  exorbitant,  remarking  that  she  should  obtain  a  list  of 


272  THE    WINKLES. 

prices  from  others  so  as  to  enable  her  aunt  to  institute  a 
comparison.  In  every  instance  there  was  an  abatement  of 
some  twenty  per  cent.,  and  she  was  informed  that  a  similar 
reduction  had  always  been  made  at  the  solicitation  of  Miss 
Me  Crabbed,  although  the  bills  were  receipted  in  full  as  they 
were  made  out  and  presented. 

Promising  to  attend  to  the  settlement  of  their  demands, 
Lucy  proceeded  next  to  the  apothecary's,  to  ascertain  the 
address  of  the  Messrs.  Milnor,  her  aunt's  tenants.  As  she 
was  entering  the  shop,  she  beheld  Miss  Bell  Arum  and  Miss 
Susan  Crudle  standing  near  one  of  the  counters,  and  luxu 
riating  in  a  draught  of  soda  water.  She  did  not  speak  to 
them.  She  did  no't  know  whether  they  could  recognize  her 
features  through  her  veil,  which  was  down ;  and  she  did  not 
desire  to  renew  her  acquaintance  with  them  unless  quite  cer 
tain  she  had  been  recognized.  At  all  events,  if  they  desired 
to  hold  any  conversation  with  her,  they  should  be  the  first  to 
speak.  While  she  was  looking  into  the  directory,  the  young 
ladies  withdrew,  but  not  without  casting  several  glances  in 
her  direction.  She  felt  rather  relieved  than  annoyed  that 
they  had  purposely  avoided  a  recognition,  or  had  not  observed 
her  particularly. 

But  a  moment  after  she  was  appalled  at  beholding  Roland 
descending  from  a  blue  carriage  near  the  apothecary's  shop 
and  he  was  waving  a  salute  to  the  Misses  Arum  and  Crudle, 
on  the  opposite  side  of  the  street.  While  his  attention  was 
attracted  in  that  direction,  Lucy  hastily  mingled  with  a 
party  of  ladies  and  gentlemen  passing  briskly  along,  and  thus 
escaped  his  observation. 

The  store  occupied  by  the  Messrs.  Milnor  &  Co.  was 
found  without  difficulty.  It  was  one  of  the  most  imposing 
business  edifices  in  the  street,  and  the  firm  of  Milnor  &  Co. 
was  one  of  the  most  reputable  in  the  country.  The  senior 
partner  was  a  millionnaire,  and  had  accumulated  his  gigantic 
fortune  in  that  location.  He  was  an  importer,  and  one  of  the 
partners  of  the  house  constantly  resided  in  Europe.  It  was 
the  business  of  the  establishment  to  fill  the  orders  of  lesser 
merchants,  who  again  sold  to  the  consumer. 

Lucy  with  difficulty  pushed  open  the  great  glass  door 
between  the  marble  columns,  and  entered  with  a  timid  step, 
for  she  immediately  perceived  that  it  must  be  an  unusual 
thing  for  ladies  to  enter  an  establishment  where  the  merchan- 


SHE    VISITS    MR.    MILNOR.  273 

dise  was  only  disposed  of  by  the  entire  piece,  or  package,  and 
where  nothing  was  to  be  seen  on  the  counters  but  sample* 
and  pattern  cards.  There  were  some  ten  or  a  dozen  well- 
dressed  young  men  standing  about  in  various  directions,  ex 
hibiting  samples  to  their  customers ;  but  no  ladies  were 
present. 

The  appearance  of  Lucy  attracting  the  attention  of  the 
young  men,  which  it  could  not  fail  to  do,  there  was  some 
whispering,  and  a  great  many  intelligent  and  curious  glances 
exchanged  between  the  salesmen.  Soon  one  of  them  ap 
proached,  and  with  the  utmost  politeness  and  an  ingenuous 
face,  begged  to  be  permitted  to  know  the  nature  of  the  young 
lady's  demand. 

"  I  desire  to  see  Mr.  Milnor,"  said  Lucy. 

"  My  father  is  in  the  office,  and  I  will  conduct  you  to  him 
with  pleasure,"  said  the  young  gentleman. 

Reassured  by  the  announcement  that  the  young  gentle 
man  was  the  son  of  the  principal  of  the  firm,  Lucy  followed 
without  hesitation,  and  they  passed  through  another  large 
glass  door  and  entered  a  spacious  office,  handsomely  carpeted, 
and  containing  sofas,  mahogany  chairs,  and  several  fine  paint 
ings,  and  divers  magnificent  prints,  by  the  best  artists. 

"  Father,  here  is  a  young  lady  who  desires  to  speak  with 
you  on  business,"  said  Henry  Milnor,  and  at  the  same  time 
placing  a  chair  for  Lucy.  After  which  he  withdrew. 

The  father  was  a  tall  handsome  man,  with  beautiful  silver- 
gray  hair,  an  erect  form,  and  a  placid  eye.  He  arose  immedi 
ately  from  the  table  where  he  had  been  writing,  with  a  smile 
on  his  lip,  and  said  he  would  be  happy  to  receive  the  commands 
of  the  lady. 

"  I  called,  sir,"  said  Lucy,  "  with  a  message  from  my  aunt, 
Miss  Flora  Blount " 

"  Miss  Flora  Blount !  And  you  are  her  niece  !  I  am 
very,  very  happy  to  see  you,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Milnor,  proffering 
his  hand  to  Lucy,  and  in  such  a  cordial,  parental  manner,  it 
was  impossible  to  think  of  refusing  it.  "  Why,  my  dear  Miss," 
he  continued,  sitting  down  in  one  of  the  luxuriously  cushioned 
chairs,  "  you  can  hardly  be  aware  of  the  delight  I  experience 
on  meeting  one  of  the  family  of  that  lady.  Here  have  I 
been  some  twenty  or  thirty  years  her  tenant — and  have  really 
made  my  fortune  on  her  premises,  and  yet  have  never  had  the 
pleasure  of  beholding  her,  or  any  of  her  kindred,  more  than 

12* 


274  THE   WINKLES. 

once  or  twice.  It  is  true  she  has  had  a  punctual  representa* 
tive,  a  business-like  agent,  as  the  Scotch  people  generally  are  ; 
but  I  have  repeatedly  wished  to  meet  with  my  landlady  her 
self,  and  could  never  venture  to  call  at  her  dwelling." 

"  I  am  sure  my  aunt  will  be  rejoiced  to  hear  of  your  pros 
perity." 

"  No  doubt — everybody  is.  It  is  the  universal  practice. 
Would  to  heaven  it  were  as  common  a  thing  to  sympathize 
with  the  unfortunate!  And  perhaps  your  aunt  would  have 
done  so.  No  doubt  of  it.  But  I  should  be  happy  to  have 
known  her  more  familiarly.  She  has  an  important  estate  in 
my  custody,  and  I  might  impart  information  and  advice  in  re 
lation  to  it,  of  some  value  to  her." 

"  I  have  not  the  least  doubt  of  it,  sir,"  replied  Lucy,  "  and 
I  regret  exceedingly  that  my  aunt  should  have  so  great  a  re 
pugnance  for  the  details  of  matters  so  deeply  involving  her 
interest.  I  am  sure  if  she  would  avail  herself  of  your  coun 
sels,  there  could  hardly  be  any  necessity  for  the  adoption  of 
so  rigid  a  system  of  economy  in  her  household " 

"  Rigid  economy !  and  in  her  household  ! "  exclaimed 
Mr.  Milnor,  in  unaffected  astonishment.  "  My  dear  Miss 
Blount " 

"  Miss  Winkle,  if  you  please,  sir." 

"  True — true — her  sister  married  a  Winkle,  and  you  are 
her  daughter.  Then,  my  dear  Miss  Winkle,  what  you  have 
just  spoken  fills  me  with  amazement.  Your  aunt  has  no  one 
to  support  but  herself — she  is  certainly  rich — and  yet  having 
to  use  economy !  And  with  such  a  keen-sighted  Scotch 
agent " 

"  That  agent,  sir  I  may  impart  my  suspicions  to  you 
in  confidence." 

"  Most  assuredly." 

"  Then  during  the  few  months  I  have  dwelt  with  my  aunt, 
I  think  I  have  ascertained  that  her  agent,  Miss  McCrabbed, 
has  acted  improperly,  very  improperly,  sir " 

"  Speak  on,  Miss  Winkle — you  need  not  hesitate  to  disclose 
any  thing  of  that  nature  to  me." 

"  I  believe,  sir,  she  has  acted  dishonestly,  and  defrauded 
my  aunt."  Lucy  then  described  the  mode  of  her  aunt's  living, 
the  matter  of  the  bills,  and  the  contents  of  the  letter  McCrab 
bed  had  received  from  Philadelphia,  and  which  had  been  so 
injudiciously  exhibited. 


DISCLOSURES.  275 

<c  She  is  a  rogue — no  doubt.  But  she  understands  business. 
No  real  estate  agent  in  tho  city  could  have  managed  this  pro 
perty  better.  I  have  expended  ten  thousand  dollars  on  it,  and 
still  paid  a  heavy  rent " 

"  Pardon  me,  sir — but  may  I  inquire  how  much  my  aunt, 
or  rather  Miss  McCrabbed,  has  been  receiving  from  you?  " 

li  Six  months  ago  the  improvements  and  alterations  were 
paid  for,  as  per  agreement,  and  the  rent,  according  to  the 
terms  stipulated  by  Miss  McCrabbed,  remained,  until  that 
time,  precisely  what  it  was  originally,  $2,000.  But  since 
then,  Miss  Winkle,  it  has  been  materially  increased,  for  it  is 
a  large  lot,  and  in  one  of  the  best  situations.  In  short,  since 
the  time  specified,  I  am  to  pay  for  all  repairs,  for  insurance, 
the  taxes " 

"  The  repairs,  sir  ?  " 

"  Yes,  it  is  so  in  the  bond,  and  I  was  under  the  necessity 
of  signing  it." 

"The  taxes  too?1' 

"  Yes,  truly.  They  are  paid.  I  have  the  receipt  here,  a 
month  old." 

"  Then  my  aunt  has  been  most  egregiously  imposed  on, 
for  Miss  McCrabbed  told  me  this  morning  she  would  have  to 
pay  the  taxes  out  of  the  next  quarter's  rent !  And  after  de 
fraying  all  these  expenses,  my  aunt  is  still  to  have  $2,000 
per  annum  ?  " 

"  Two  thousand  ?  Yes,  and  four  added  to  it.  She  is  to 
receive  $6,000,  Miss  Winkle ;  and  I  must  say  it  is  not  an  ex 
travagant  rent  for  a  property  which  would  sell  for  $100,000." 

"  Is  it  possible  ?  Then  my  poor  aunt  need  not  be  dis 
tressed " 

"  Distressed  ?  She  is  rich  !  Tell  her  I  say  so  !  And  the 
lot  she  lives  on  would  bring  $50,000  !  Just  to  suppose  any 
one,  and  especially  a  single  lady,  whose  income  might  be  some 
$10,000  per  annum,  fearing  to  be  distressed!  " 

"  Unfortunately,"  said  Lucy,  smiling,  "  the  ^ladies  are  not 
generally  very  skilful  in  the  management  of  business.  I  mean 
the  America  ladies.  But  still,  I  fear  it  will  be  no  easy  mat 
ter  to  convince  my  aunt  of  the  culpability  of  Miss  McCrab 
bed,  who  has  so  long  enjoyed  her  confidence." 

"  And  abused  it,"  said  Mr.  Milnor.  "  Such  proteges  con 
trive  to  make  themselves  agreeable,  and  often  indispensable, 
and  then  pillage  their  benefactors  without  stint." 


276  THE    WINKLES. 

"  I  fear,  sir,  my  aunt  has  been  a  victim  ;  but  fortunately 
not  to  the  extent  she  might  have  been  if  these  developments 
had  been  postponed  a  few  years  longer.  But  really  I  had  for 
gotten  my  aunt's  message.  She  desired  to  ascertain  whether 
you  would  oblige  her  by  anticipating  the  day  of  the  next  pay 
ment — or  rather  advance  her  a  sufficient  sum  to  discharge 
these  demands." 

"  With  twenty  per  cent,  off,  you  know.  Most  assuredly  ! 
She  shall  have  a  check  for  $1,500  and " 

"  Oh,  I  beg  pardon,  sir !  It  has  just  flashed  across  my 
mind,  that  inasmuch  as  you  have  never  seen  me  before " 

"  No,  no,  no  !  I  know  what  you  would  say.  I  knew  your 
mother.  You  have  her  face  exactly,  and  a  most  beautiful — I 
beg  your  pardon  !  But  you  are  taller  than  she  was " 

"  Still,  Mr.  Milnor,  you  must  permit  me  to  have  my  own 
way  in  this  matter.  I  have  reasons  for  it.  And  I  assure  you 
it  would  be  a  great  favor  if  you  would  bring  the  checks  your 
self  to  my  aunt's  house,  and  take  her  receipt.  And  you  may 
perhaps  be  disposed  to  substantiate  what  I  mean  to  tell  her  in 
relation  to  the  conduct  of  Miss  McCrabbed." 

"  Then  leave  the  bills  with  me,  Miss  Winkle.  I  will  first 
cause  them  to  be  paid.  My  son  shall  attend  to  it  himself — 
and — perhaps,  if  my  engagements  prevent  me  from  going  to 
your  aunt's  house,  Henry  might  answer  the  purpose  ?  " 

"  If  he  knew  the  circumstances " 

"  He  shall  know  them,  and  also  my  opinion  in  the  case. 
Your  aunt  will  find  him  an  intelligent  boy — although  he  has 
resided  abroad  half  of  his  life.  Henry !  "  he  continued, 
opening  the  figured  glass  door,  and  admitting  his  son — '•  this 
is  Miss  Winkle,  the  niece  of  Miss  Flora  Blount.  You  will 
conduct  her  to  your  mother's  carriage,  if  it  is  still  standing  on 
the  opposite  side  of  the  street,  and  order  the  coachman  to 
drive  to  her  aunt's  house — that  is  if  it  be  her  purpose  to  re 
turn  directly  home — and  if  not,  direct  him  to  go  whithersoev 
er  she  pleases." 

"  By  no  means  !  But  I  thank  you  !  "  said  Lucy,  smiling, 
and  slightly  blushing,  as  the  tall  handsome  figure  of  the 
young  man  bowed  before  her.  "  I  shall  prefer  to  walk.  In 
the  village  where  my  mother  dwells,  I  have  been  accustomed 
to  much  walking,  and  m}'  physician  says  it  is  necessary." 

_The  young  man,  however,  conducted  her  with  deferential 
politeness  into  the  street,  assuring  her  repeatedly  that  his 


A    DISHONEST   WOMAN.  277 

mother  would  iiot  return  to  the  carriage  for  an  hour,  and  per 
haps  two,  as  she  was  sitting  to  an  artist  in  the  opposite  build 
ing.  Lucy,  however,  did  not  yield  to  his  entreaties,  but  sig 
nified  her  gratitude  for  his  kind  attentions. 

Again,  when  arrived  in  view  of  her  aunt's  dwelling  the  ha 
ted  blue  carriage  of  Roland  met  her  view.  It  was  just  start 
ing  away  from  in  front  of  her  aunt's  door,  and  she  did  not 
doubt  now,  that  Miss  McCrabbed  was  capable  of  plotting  with 
her  persecutor  against  her  peace.  The  blue  carriage  had  been 
seen  in  front  of  the  house  almost  every  day ;  and  Miss  Mc 
Crabbed  had  in  all  probability  informed  Roland  of  her  place 
of  abode.  She  had  certainly  mentioned  his  name  more  than 
once  in  her  presence,  and  in  terms  of  praise,  which  she  recol 
lected  with  a  painful  distinctness.  She  was  now  somewhat 
relieved  on  seeing  the  carriage  move  off  in  an  opposite  direc 
tion,  so  that  she  did  not  have  to  meet  it  when  approaching  the 
dwelling. 

The  door  was  opened  by  Miss  McCrabbed,  who  suddenly 
seized  Lucy's  arm,  when  it  closed. 

"  Give  me  the  bills !  "  cried  she.  "  Why  did  you  take 
them  ?  Did  I  not  say  you  must  never  meddle  with  my  busi 
ness  ?  You  shall  leave  here,  or  I  will !  And  we'll  see  who 
your  aunt  will  be  the  most  willing  to  part  with  !  " 

"  I  have  not  got  the  bills.  But  they  are  paid  by  this 
time.  Release  my  arm  !  " 

<•  I  will  not !     The  bills— who  is  to  pay  them  ?  " 

"  No  matter.     Release  my  arm  ! " 

"  I  will  not." 

"  You  shall !  "  said  Lucy,  burning  with  indignation,  and 
hurling  the  slight  form  of  the  enraged  woman  away  from  her. 
Lucy  was  young  and  strong,  and  McCrabbed  was  thrown  in 
contact  with  the  wall,  and  slightly  stunned  by  the  collision.  ' 

"  Wretch  !  "  cried  she,  recovering,  "  Til  be  revenged !  " 

"  Dishonest  woman  !  "  said  Lucy,  "  your  frauds  have  been 
discovered  !  The  money  remitted  your  brother  did  not  be 
long  to  you.  There  will  be  a  gentleman  here  presently  to  en 
lighten  my  aunt  in  regard  to  your  sordid  practices.  Justice 
at  last  must  always  overtake  the  transgressor." 

Without  pausing  to  mark  the  effect  of  her  words,  Lucy 
hastened  into  the  parlor,  where  she  found  her  aunt  re-peru 
sing  certain  chapters  of  the  "  Children  of  the  Abbey,"  perhaps 
for  the  fiftieth  time. 


278  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Lucy !  "  said  Miss,  Flora,  with  a  deep  sigh,  "  do  you 
think. there  really  ever  existed  such  a  wretch  as  the  Marquis  of 
Rosline's  housekeeper  ?  " 

"  Indeed  I  do,  my  dear  aunt ;  there  are  many  such  who 
would  appropriate  to  themselves  the  money  intrusted  with 
them  for  the  benefit  of  others,  and  who  would  not  hesitate  to 
introduce  such  villains  as  Belgrave " 

«  Oh,  horrible  !  " 

"  Dear  aunt,  my  persecutor,  Roland,  has  found  out  my 
place  of  abode  ;  and  I  am  sure  it  must  have  been  by  means  of 
treachery.  The  blue  carriage,  which  has  been  so  often  no 
ticed  by  us,  belongs  to  him." 

"  Is  it  possible  ?  Why  I  saw  the  coachman  speaking  to 
Edith  a  little  while  ago  !  How  did  she  know  any  thing  about 
Roland  ?  "  ^ 

"It  is  impossible  for  me  to  say.  But  you  know  she  has 
frequently  mentioned  his  great  wealth,  and  his  honestlove,  &c." 

"  True.     What  could  have  been  her  meaning  ?  " 

"  She  is  one  of  the  Rosline  housekeepers." 

<:  Lucy  !     Surely  you  do  not  think  so  !  " 

"  I  surely  do.  Listen  to  me,  aunt."  She  then  detailed 
all  she  knew  in  relation  to  the  speculations  of  McCrabbed. 

"  Listen  to  my  heart  beating  !  Oh,  my  dear  Lucy,  what 
shall  I  do  !  You  will  not  desert  me,  will  you  ?  " 

"  Certainly  not,  if  you  dismiss  McCrabbed." 

"  She  shan't  stay  an  hour,  if  she  has  been  guilty  of  these 
things,  even  if  it  breaks  my  heart !  But  how  shall  I  manage 
without  her ! " 

"  I  will  undertake  to  see  that  nothing  shall  be  wanting," 
said  Lucy.  "  Mr.  Milnor  will  send  one  or  two  of  his  servants 
until  you  can  procure  proper  ones  of  your  own.  Remember 
you  are  rich,  aunt,  rick" 

"  True,  I  had  forgotten  it.  Why,  Lucy,  I  shall  be  able 
"  to  keep  a  coach  of  my  own  !  " 

"  To  be  sure  you  will.  I  hear  the  bell — it  is  Mr.  Milnor,  no 
doubt.  Again!  Why  don't  Edith  open  the  door?  /will  do  it." 

When  Lucy  threw  open  the  door,  she  was  startled  by  the 
appearance  of  Mr.  Henry  Milnor,  when  she  had  been  expect 
ing  his  father.  Without  delay,  however,  she  conducted  him 
into  the  parlor,  and  introduced  him  to  her  aunt.  He  deliver 
ed  the  bills  he  had  paid,  and  showed  where  twenty  per  cent 
of  the  amount  had  been  deducted.  And  he  confirmed  what 


ASTOUNDING    REVELATIONS.  279 

Lucy  had  said  in  regard  to  the  misrepresentations  of  Miss 
McCrabbed.  The  taxes  and  repairs  he  assured  Miss  Blount 
were  to  be  paid,  and  really  had  already  been  paid  by  his  father  ; 
and  besides,  he  was  to  make  her  the  quarterly  payment  of 
fifteen  hundred  dollars.  That  sum  he  was  now  prepared  to 
place  in  her  hands,  the  amount  of  the  bills  he  had  just  dis 
charged  deducted. 

"  Edith  never  informed  me  of  this !  "  said  Miss  Flora. 
"  And  is  it  possible  I  have  been  so  egregiously  deceived  by 
one  in  whom  I  placed  such  unlimited  confidence  ?  " 

Mr.  Henry  Milnor  said  he  had  no  doubt  of  it,  and  Lucy 
repeated  her  convictions  of  the  treachery  and  ingratitude  of 
the  Scotch  minion. 

Mr.  Milnor,  before  departing,  informed  Miss  Flora,  that 
his  father  had  authorized  him  to  say  he  would  be  happy  to 
become  the  purchaser  of  the  property  in  Broadway,  at  the 
price  named  to  her  niece. 

"  And  what  was  that,  Lucy?  "  asked  Miss  Blount. 

"I  believe  it  was  $100,000." 

"  That  was  the  amount,"  said  young  Milnor. 

"  Can  it  be  possible  ?  "  cried  Miss  Blount.  "  Why,  it  was 
valued  at  just  $20,000  when  it  came  into  my  possession ;  and 
this  house  and  lot  at  $10,000." 

"  My  father,"  continued  young  Milnor,  "  says  this  property 
would  sell  for  $50,000." 

"  Really,  I  never  supposed  such  prices  could  be  obtained. 
But  this  is  the  old  family  mansion,  and  I  could  never  think  of 
selling  it.  The  other  was  purchased  by  my  father  of  some 
one  who  owed  him,  and  was  never  occupied  by  any  of  the 
family.  But  I  never  sold  any  thing  in  my  life.  I  wonder 
what  Edith " 

"Edith,  aunt!" 

"  I  forgot,  child  !  Edith  is  fallen.  But  what  would  you 
advise,  Lucy  ?  " 

"  I  think  I  would  not  sell  it,  aunt,  since  it  brings  you  an 
ample  income." 

"  My  niece  would  not  like  to  sell  it,  sir,  and  I  have  no 
doubt  her  notion  is  a  very  correct  one." 

Mr.  Milnor  rose  to  depart.  But  before  taking  his  leave, 
said  he  had  been  charged  by  his  father  to  make  a  tender  of 
his  services,  and  to  beg  that  Miss  Blount,  or  any  member  of 
her  family,  would  never  hesitate  to  apply  to  him  for  counsel, 


280  THE   WINKLES. 

or  for  any  assistance,  should  it  be  desirable  to  make  use  of  a 
friend.  And,  while  bowing  gracefully,  the  young  gentleman 
added  his  own  solicitations  to  those  of  his  father,  remarking 
that  it  would  make  him  happy  to  be  enabled  to  render  any 
species  of  service. 

He  was  thanked  very  earnestly  by  both  the  ladies,  and 
charged  with  kind  acknowledgments  to  his  father,  of  whom, 
Lucy  remarked,  she  had  determined  to  ask  a  favor  that  day, 
if  it  had  been  convenient  for  him  to  appear  in  person. 

The  young  gentleman  lingering  on  the  threshold,  as  if 
bound  by  an  irresistible  fascination,  assured  her  he  would  use 
his  utmost  endeavors  to  accomplish  whatever  might  have  been 
requested  of  his  father.  After  some  hesitation  and  blushing, 
Lucy  mentioned  her  aunt's  destitution  of  servants;  and  in 
timated  that  inasmuch  as  Miss  McCrabbed  had  been  detected 
in  one  moral  delinquency,  she  was  fearful  it  might  not  be  safe 
to  trust  her  any  farther.  In  short,  her  aunt  and  herself  might 
not  be  able  to  partake  of  any  food  of  Edith's  preparing  or 
procuring,  with  the  confidence  necessary  to  their  ease  and, 
perhaps,  their  health.  She  had  intended,  therefore,  to  ask  the 
favor  of  him  to  permit  one  of  his  servants  to  stay  at  her  aunt's 
dwelling,  until  she  could  procure  one  or  more  of  her  own. 
The  young  man  bowed  again,  and  assured  Lucy  there  would 
be  no  difficulty  in  obtaining  his  mother's  assent  to  the  ar 
rangement  ;  and  he  asked  and  obtained  permission  to  call 
again  that  very  evening. 

After  the  departure  of  Mr.  Henry  Milnor,  Miss  Flora 
Blount,  bracing  her  nerves  for  a  stormy  interview  with  Miss 
McCrabbed,  proceeded  to  the  usual  sitting-room,  where  the 
greater  portion  of  her  housekeeper's  time  was  spent,  accompa 
nied  by  Lucy,  who,  impressed  with  the  belief  that  Roland  had 
received  intelligence  from  the  treacherous  Edith,  resolved  to 
encourage  and  support  her  aunt  in  the  trying  scene  which  she 
supposed  was  about  to  be  enacted. 

But  no  McCrabbed  was  there ;  nor  was  she  to  be  found  in 
any  part  of  the  house,  and  every  room  in  it  was  searched  in  vain. 
Undoubtedly  she  had  fled,  under  the  supposition  that  her  offen 
ces  might  subject  her  to  the  pains  and  penalties  of  the  law, 
and  not  knowing  the  difference  between  the  practice  of  our 
government  and  that  of  Great  Britain.  The  idea  of  transpor 
tation  filled  her  with  terror.  And  so,  after  overhearing  the  con 
versation  in  the  parlor,  she  had  noiselessly  brought  down  her 


THE  HOUSEKEEPER'S  ESCAPE.       281 

trunk,  and  summoning  her  boy  Mcllhenny,  who  preceded  her 
to  the  depot,  set  off  for  Philadelphia  to  join  her  brother,  and 
seek  an  asylum  under  his  protection. 


CH APTEK  XXV. 

THE  BLUE  CAKEIAGE— LETTERS  FROM  BABBLETON  AND  PHILADEL 
PHIA.    MRS.  LAUREL'S  VISIT. 

IN  a  few  weeks  Miss  Flora  Blount's  mansion  assumed  a  new 
appearance,  without  and  within.  The  painter  and  paper- 
hanger  had  been  employed ;  a  furnace  diffused  its  warmth 
throughout  the  house,  and  gas  illuminated  the  halls  and  par 
lors.  Two  excellent  servants,  which  had  been  recommended  by 
the  Milnors,  were  substituted  for  the  false  Edith,  and  Miss 
Flora  readily  expressed  her  opinion  that  the  new  system  was 
less  shocking  to  her  nerves  than  tfre  old. 

Bnt  Lucy's  nerves  became  more  and  more  affected  as  she 
daily  beheld  Roland's  blue  carriage  standing  within  a  con 
venient  distance  of  the  door,  as  if  in  waiting  for  her.  Her 
aunt  was  disposed  to  regard  the  circumstance  as  a  romantic 
incident,  and  really  believed  the  man  was  mad  in  love,  and 
could  not  restrain  himself  from  pursuing  her  niece.  But  as 
she  watched  the  carriage  from  behind  her  curtains,  she  won 
dered  why  Roland  himself  was  not  visible  as  often  as  his 
coachman.  More  than  half  the  time  the  vehicle  was  entirely 
empty.  What  a  mystery  !  But  the  mysteries  of  bad  men 
are  mostly  fraught  with  evil. 

For  more  than  a  week  after  Lowe  had  discovered  the  place 
of  Lucy's  abode,  he  had  been  restrained  from  seeking  an  in 
terview  by  the  ominous  presence  of  that  carriage.  Lucy,  her 
self  unseen,  had  observed  him  passing  with  his  eyes  sadly 
fixed  upon  Roland's  equipage  ! 

Finally  his  passion  had  overleaped  all  restraints,  and  he 
had  sought  and  obtained  an  interview  with  the  object  of  his 
affection.  But  unfortunately  neither  of  them  had  referred  to 
the  subject  of  the  blue  carriage.  Lucy  had  forgotten  such  an 
annoyance  in  the  presence  of  Lowe ;  and  Lowe,  though  it  was 
never  absent  from  his  mind,  could  not  find  -sufficient  resolu- 


282  THE   WINKLES. 

tion  to  demand  an  explanation.  But  his  face  was  pale,  and 
his  voice  often  tremulous,  as  if  his  heart  were  a  prey  to  some 
hidden  anguish  which  he  durst  not  disclose. 

Lucy,  attributing  his  melancholy  to  quite  a  different  cause 
from  the  true  one — seeing  the  badge  of  mourning  on  his  hat — 
in  vain  expended  her  sympathy,  and  sought  by  her  conversa 
tion  and  manner  to  manifest  her  concern.  His  sadness  could 
not  be  dispelled,  nor  the  rising  tear  always  repressed.  And 
yet  scarcely  a  day  was  now  suffered  to  pass,  during  which  he 
did  not  spend  more  or  less  of  his  time  at  the  old  mansion; 
but  it  was  generally  in  the  company  of  other  visitors,  for  a 
great  change  had  taken  place  in  the  social  habits  of  the  in 
mates  of  the  house,  and  there  was  scarcely  an  hour  that  some 
one  did  not  call. 

The  famous  Mrs.  Laurel,  after  a  lapse  of  twenty  years,  had 
renewed  her  intimacy  with  Miss  Blount.  Mrs.  Laurel  had 
then  her  sixth  husband,  and  was  enormously  rich.  Originally 
her  position  in  society  was  good,  and  she  was  a  schoolmate  of 
the  Blounts.  But  her  father  becoming  bankrupt,  she  mar 
ried  one  of  the  clerks  in  his  office,  and  ran  off  to  New  Orleans, 
where  an  epidemic  soon  made  her  a  widow,  at  the  age  of 
seventeen.  Being  still  poor,  she  accepted  the  hand  of  a 
planter  of  middle  age,  who  was  killed  the  next  week  in  a  duel, 
but  not  before  bestowing  his  fortune  on  her.  She  was  now 
rich,  and  had  learned  the  value  of  riches ;  and  as  she  married 
in  succession  three  other  wealthy  husbands  in  the  South,  all  of 
whom  in  the  course  of  twenty  years  were  peacefully  slumbering 
in  the  oblivious  grave,  while  the  favored  widow,  although  past 
the  flush  of  youth,  still  retained  much  of  her  original  beauty, 
she  returned  to  New  York,  and  became  the  wife  of  Mr. 
Laurel,  an  eminent  bibliomaniac,  a  famous  traveller,  a  mil- 
lionnaire,  and  the  entertainer  of  distinguished  foreigners. 
Therefore  Mrs.  Laurel  was  famous.  But  she  had  peculiari 
ties  of  her  own  which  would  have  made  her  distinguished 
aside  from  the  celebrity  of  her  husband.  And  one  of  these 
was  her  incessant  talking — others  in  her  company  rarely  being 
able  to  utter  more  than  simple  monosyllables.  And  it  was 
remarkable  that  the  subject  of  her  interminable  speeches  was 
generally  the  difficulty  she  had  in  the  management  of  her 
servants.  Almost  every  time  she  "rode  out"  she  was  in 
quest  of  a  cook,  or  chambermaid,  or  waiter.  She  had  been 
so  long  accustomed  to  slaves  in  the  South,  that  it  seemed  she 


THE    VISITORS.  283 

could  never  become  habituated  to  the  habits  of  northern 
domestics.  And  it  was  upon  one  of  those  voyages  of  disco 
very  that  she  had  accidentally  met  with  Miss  Blount,  and 
renewed  the  acquaintance,  and  subsequently,  after  inquiries, 
and  finding  her  old  schoolmate  possessed  sufficient  fortune, 
she  resolved  to  re-establish  the  termsxof  intimacy  which  had 
in  early  times  subsisted  between  the  families.  She  was  like 
wise  powerfully  stimulated  to  this  end  from  a  desire  to  ex 
hibit  the  surpassing  beauty  of  Lucy  at  her  magnificent 
mansion. 

The  Milnors,  too,  were  frequent  visitors  to  Miss  Blount 
and  her  niece,  and  an  intercourse  of  the  most  agreeable  cha 
racter  sprang  from  the  accidental  visit  of  Lucy  to  the  store 
in  Broadway.  But  this,  however,  was  not  unattended  with 
misgivings  on  the  part  of  Lucy,  who  soon  began  to  apprehend 
that  Henry  Milnor,  from  his  assiduous  attentions,  might  seek 
to  make  a  tender  impression  on  her  heart,  which  she  deemed 
to  be  already  sufficiently  impressed  by  the  image  of  another. 

Pollen,  too,  had  more  than  once  called  upon  Lucy  and 
her  aunt,  at  the  request  of  Walter,  with  whom  he  corre 
sponded.  The  poet  again  possessed  a  shirt  of  his  own,  and 
otherwise  exhibited  a  genteel  exterior.  He  was  in  the  employ 
of  a  brother  poet,  more  favored  by  fortune,  and  earned  a  sub 
sistence  in  the  capacity  of  a  regular  contributor  to  the  columns 
of  a  literary  periodical.  Nevertheless,  whether  in  indigence 
or  prosperity,  Pollen  seemed  destined  to  be  always  the  pro 
tegee  of  some  lady  of  more  mature  years  than  himself;  and 
now,  of  all  the  gentlemen  that  formed  the  agreeable  society 
at  the  Blount  Mansion,  none  enjoyed  so  large  a  share  of  the 
regard  and  esteem  of  Flora,  as  the  reckless,  intractable,  and 
often  rude  poet.  There  was  an  irresistible  attraction  in  his 
writings,  imparted  by  his  extraordinary  genius,  which,  in 
Flora's  opinion,  made  amends  for  his  singular  eccentricities. 
She  admired  his  works,  and  thence  her  sympathy  extended 
to  the  author  and  the  man.  It  is  strange  that  women  should 
have  a  desire  to  possess  that  which  is  avowedly  unattainable. 
The  declaration  of  a  poet  that  his  heart  has  been  long  buried 
in  the  grave  of  some  beautiful  being  exclusively  worshipped 
and  for  ever  lost,  have  never  yet  discouraged  others  of 
the  sex,  who  have  survived,  from  meditating  their  capture. 
Such  being  the  result  of  Lucy's  observation,  it  was  not  with 
out  some  amusing  anticipations  that  she  witnessed  the  zeal  of 


284  THE    WINKLES. 

her  poor  aunt  in  the  endeavor  to  make  a  favorable  impression 
on  the  poet.  For  to  her  acute  vision  it  was  apparent  that 
Pollen  had  never  earnestly  conceived  the  idea  of  again  enter 
ing  into  the  bonds  of  wedlock,  and  above  all  for  the  mere 
purpose  of  obtaining  a  home  and  an  independence  which 
could  not  otherwise  be  realized.  Walter  had  informed  her  of 
his  conduct  towards  her  aunt  in  Philadelphia,  as  well  as  of 
his  rupture  with  Griselda ;  and  as  there  was  no  reason  to  sup 
pose  her  Aunt  Flora's  happiness  might  be  sacrificed  by  any 
caprice  of  the  poet,  the  growing  intimacy  did  not  give  rise  to 
any  very  serious  apprehensions. 

One  afternoon  when  Lucy  was  sitting  with  her  aunt  in 
the  room  recently  converted  into  a  library,  and  in  which  were 
collected  the  thousands  of  novels  which  had  hitherto  been 
lying  in  disorder  in  all  parts  of  the  house,  the  postman  sent 
in  two  letters,  one  for  the  aunt,  and  the  other  for  the  niece. 

"  Here  is  news  from  Babbleton,"  said  Lucy,  and  narrated 
in  my  dear  mother's  merry  vein.  Listen,  aunt : — "  Griselda 
still  keeps  my  poor  brother  a  close  prisoner,  while  she  dashes 
about  in  her  coach  and  four.  But  she  has  cut  all  her  poor 
acquaintances,  and  of  course  I  am  blotted  out  of  her  books. 
She  passes  without  calling,  and  without  knowing  how  heartily 
I  laugh  at  the  ridiculous  figure  she  makes.  But  she  patron 
ized  our  minister,  Mr.  Amble,  and  that  is  a  charitable  expen 
diture,  because  the  money  will  certainly  reach  the  poor  of 
the  parish.  Mr.  A.  you  know,  has  either  nine  or  thirteen  (I 
forget  which)  children  of  his  own,  and  they  must  be  pro 
vided  for.  I  suppose  it  is  because  I  could  render  no 
assistance,  that  he  has  not  called  on  me  lately — not,  I  believe, 
since  my  house  was  sold.  Perhaps  he  did  not  hear  I  was  the 
purchaser  *  *  *  Still  I  think  Roland  is  love  mad.  But  his 
passion  is  two-fold.  He  has  laid  regular  siege  to  Virginia 
Oakdale,  who  is  my  guest,  and  opens  his  batteries  once  or 
twice  every  week,  and  then  disappears  most  mysteriously.  I 
presume  he  occupies  his  blue  carriage  on  the  alternate  days. 
Virginia  never  refuses  to  see  him ;  but  the  spirited  girl  laughs 
at  his  pretensions,  and  banters  him  in  such  a  mocking  manner 
that  he  must  soon  despair  of  making  any  progress.  Why  do 
you  not  treat  him  in  the  same  way  ?  Or  why  do  you  not 
marry  him,  and  then  have  your  revenge  ?  It  is  so  absurd  to 
see  men  of  fortune  running  after  the  girls,  and  vainly  teasing 
them  for  a  smile.  Marry  them,  and  they  will  run  the  other 


A    LETTER.  285 

way.  Walter  is  still  at  Washington,  and  has  not  yet  received 
his  appointment.  I  believe  he  has  ceased  writing  to  Virginia. 
What  does  it  mean?  More  tomfoolery?  Lowe  has  been 
absent  some  time — and  I  suppose  you  have  seen  him.  Re 
member  !  *  We  had  an  exciting  scene  in  the  street  the 
other  day.  Sergeant  Blore,  when  stumping  on  his  way  to 
see  me,  was  seized  by  Mrs.  Edwards.  She  demanded  his 
money — and  he  cried  murder  !  He  tripped  her  up  with  his 
wooden  leg  and  made  his  escape.  But  it  seems  he  sprained 
her  ankle,  and  she  has  since  threatened  to  bring  "  an  haction  " 
against  him  for  "  hassault  "  and  battery !  You  see  how 
husbands  are  served !  Bill  Dizzle  gallants  Patty  O'Pan  to 
church  every  Sunday.  I  wrote  you  how  Patty  mortally 
affronted  the  Arums  and  Crudles.  She  kept  up  till  Bill 
and  Susan  beat  a  retreat.  It  has  been  a  mystery  to  me 
how  the  impudent  hussy  obtained  the  means  to  perpetrate 
such  an  annoyance.  Some  of  her  finery  must  have  cost  a 
great  deal  of  money,  and  no  one  ever  supposed  Lowe  pos 
sessed  a  superabundance  of  it.  By  the  way,  I  forgot  to 
mention  that  Bell  Arum  has  written  home  a  precious  budget 
of  news,  which  her  mother,  as  usual,  has  published  to  all 
her  acquaintances.  She  says  she  saw  you  examining  the 
register,  and  that  you  were  in  the  habit  of  wandering 
about  alone  and  unprotected.  She  says  Mr.  Lowe  is  likewise 
in  the  city  ;  and  if  her  ma  would  put  that  and  that  together, 
she  would  know  as  much  as  the  writer,  no  doubt !  And  she 
says  they  have  an  invitation  to  the  aristocratic  Mrs.  Laurel's 
parties,  and  that  some  of  the  British  nobility  of  the  highest  rank 
are  expected  over  this  winter.  But  (she  says)  if  L.  W.  and 
Mr.  L.  are  to  be  met  there,  she  is  determined  to  expose  them. 
"  Your  poor  old  Mother, 

"  E.  WINKLE. 

"  P.  S.  I  see  our  old  friend  John  Dowly  every  week. 
Bless  his  good  soul !  He  sends  a  mountain  of  love.  What  a 
pity  we  grow  old  !  " 

The  letter  received  by  Flora  was  from  Miss  Wilsome 
Winkle,  and  ran  as  follows  :  "  My  impudent  nephew  Walter, 
who  will  persist  in  writing  me,  notwithstanding  I  have  cast 
him  off  for  sanctioning  his  uncle's  marriage  with  that  vulgar 
bonnet-maker  (I  forget  her  name),  informs  me  that  Mr.  Pollen, 
the  silly  poet  who  abandoned  my  hospitality  to  borrow  a  few 


286  THE   WINKLES. 

dirty  dollars  of  the  milliner,  is  now  working  himself  to  death 
in  New  York  to  earn  a  scanty  living,  which  he  might  have  had 
for  nothing  by  remaining  here  and  behaving  himself.  He  is  a 
fool — just  like  other  poets  who  have  genius,  and  therefore  he 
ought  not  to  be  permitted  to  kill  himself.  Enclosed  I  send  a 
check  for  a  trifling  sum  payable  to  bearer,  which,  perhaps,  with 
delicate  management  you  may  induce  him  to  make  use  of  for 
his  own  benefit.  Perhaps  he  needs  some  new  shirts.  I  have 
seen  him  twice  without  any — and  I  believe  he  has  one  of 
Walter's  yet.  Speaking  of  checks  and  of  Walter,  I  gave  my 
cast-off  nephew  one  when  he  was  on  his  way  to  that  Babylo 
nian  rendezvous  of  demagogues,  which,  for  some  reason — or 
rather  for  the  want  of  reason — he  did  not  use.  I  suppose  he 
gave  it  to  some  fool  or  other  poorer  than  himself.  But  the 
cashier  of  the  bank  did  not  pay  the  money.  There  needed 
Walter's  name  on  it,  he  said,  written  with  his  own  hand,  as  it 
was  drawn  to  his  order,  or  something  of  the  sort,  which  I  did 
not  understand,  and  did  not  choose  to  inquire  about.  Walter 
says  Lucy  is  with  you.  Tell  her  I  have  five  letters  from 
Ralph  Roland  begging  me  to  intercede  for  him.  I  believe  him 
a  knave — but  if  he  writes  me  again  I  shall  also  believe  him  in 
earnest,  and  that  the  rascal  is  absolutely  in  love.  It  would 
be  a  better  match  than  her  uncle's,  which  she  attended. 
"  Enough  in  all  conscience. 

"  WILSOME  WINKLE. 

"  P.  S.  I  have  a  letter  of  invitation  from  that  Bluebeard  of 
a  woman,  Mrs.  Laurel,  to  attend  her  parties  this  winter.  Be 
fore  I  signify  my  acceptance,  I  should  like  if  possible  to  learn 
whether  or  not  there  will  be  a  room  exclusively  for  whist.  On 
no  other  conditions  will  T  go — and  you  may  tell  her  so. 

«  W.  W." 

Miss  Blount,  after  joining  Lucy  in  a  hearty  laugh  at  the 
contents  of  the  letter  from  Babbleton,  did  not  seem  disposed 
to  be  so  mirthful  over  the  communication  from  Philadelphia. 

"  I  have  no  doubt,"  said  Miss  Blount,  "  that  the  poet  can 
be  quite  as  agreeably  entertained  in  New  York  as  in  Philadel 
phia.  And  I  don't  see  why  Wilsome  should  be  sending  her 
checks  after  him.  I  have  contributed  fifty  dollars  myself  to 
enable  him  to  commence  the  publication  of  a  new  paper, 
which  is  to  be  entirely  under  his  control,  is  to  contain  every 
thing  he  writes,  and  he  is  to  write  what  he  pleases.  I  have 


SECRET    SORROW.  287 

no  doubt  he  will  succeed.     I  shall  bespeak  Mrs.  Laurel's  in 
fluence,  and  you  must  be  a  subscriber,  Lucy " 

"  Certainly,  aunt.  But  what  do  you  think  of  my  persecu 
tor,  Roland?" 

"  He  is  either  the  best  lover  or  the  worst  man  in  the 
world." 

"  But  which  of  the  two  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  say.  But  I  am  sure  he  has  not  a  particle  of 
the  poet's  genius." 

"  But  some  of  his  foolishness  ?  " 

"  Wilsome  is  a  strange  creature.  To  call  the  author  of 
a  fool !  It  is  too  bad." 

"  But  what  are  we  to  do  about  Mrs.  Laurel's  parties  ? 
Bell  Arum -" 

"  Oh,  never  mind  her — she  is  merely  one  of  the  Kilcorbans 
— an  upstart,  dazzled  with  the  glitter  of  her  own  jewels,  be 
cause  she  has  not  always  been  accustomed  to  them.  Mrs. 
Laurel  must  have  the  poet  there.  I  am  sorry  her  husband 
does  not  have  a  more  favorble  opinion  of  American  writers." 

"  I  am  sure,  aunt,  that  until  recently  you  could  hardly  be 
induced  to  read  an  American  book." 

"  I  confess  it,  child.  But  what  was  the  reason  ?  The 
critics  I  relied  on  in  making  my  selections,  scarcely  ever  no 
ticed  American  novels.  All  their  praises  were  bestowed  upon 
foreign  productions.  Mr.  Pollen  drew  my  attention  to  the 
subject,  and  I  am  sure  I  can  never  be  sufficiently  grateful  for 
it.  Our  writers  are  quite  as  interesting  as  any  others. 
What  an  inexhaustible  treasure  of  enjoyment  there  is  in  store 
for  us !  " 

"  The  L,  alluded  to  by  Miss  Arum,  is  doubtless  Mr. 
Lowe." 

"  And  I  like  him  very  much.  Mr.  Pollen  says  he  is  the 
best  educated  gentleman  he  has  met  with  since  he  left  college, 
But  he  is  too  melancholy." 

"  He  may  have  some  secret  sorrow,  aunt." 

"  Then  why  don't  he  make  you  his  confidant  ?  Mr.  Pollen 
has  explained  to  me  the  amount  of  his  suffering,  induced  by 
the  injustice  or  neglect  of  the  critics.  But  he  shall  be  a  critic 
in  his  turn ;  and  then  those  who  would  not  do  him  the  justice 
to  judge  him  fairly,  may  require  favors  at  his  hands  !  But  he 
will  be  just,  impartial — independent  and  fearless." 

The  bell  was  heard,  followed  by  a  rustling  of  silk,  and 


288  THE   WINKLES. 

the  next  moment  the  vivacious  Mrs.  Laurel  was  sailing  into 
the  room. 

"  No  ceremony,  my  dear  Blount — no  perturbation,  my 
sweet  Winkle !  I  have  called  but  for  a  moment.  I  must 
rattle  through  twenty  streets,  until  I  can  find  a  character " 

"  Character,  Mrs.  Laurel  ?  "asked  Lucy. 

"  Yes,  character,  my  pretty  child.  A  character  for  my 
new  chamber  maid.  The  last  one  had  no  character — and  she 
didn't  deserve  one,  for  she  was  worthless.  What  do  you 
think  ?  She  had  the  impudence  to  change  her  dress  and  fix 
her  hair,  before  appearing  in  the  presence  of  Mr.  Laurel  in 
his  library !  The  impudent  hussy — setting  her  cap  for  my 
husband,  and  before  my  very  eyes !  I  drove  her  away,  and 
carried  in  the  foot-bath  myself.  And  now  I  have  a  pock 
marked  English  woman,  who  uses  the  h  in  saying  air,  and 
leaves  it  out  in  saying  horse.  But  I  don't  mind  that,  if  she's 
honest ;  and  I  am  now  going  the  rounds  to  inquire  about  her 
character.  There  never  was  such  a  place  for  servants !  I 
shall  lose  my  cook  next.  The  kitchen  don't  suit  her.  The 
range  is  not  to  her  liking,  and  the  pots  are  too  thick  and 
heavy.  I  am  aggravated  almost  to  death,  by  my  servants.  I 
pay  them  about  double  wages,  and  it  only  seems  to  make 
them  worse.  How  do  you  manage  yours,  Flora  ?  " 

"  Me  ?     Oh,  I  never  meddle  with  them." 

"  And  do  they  stay  and  perform  their  duty  ?  " 

"  I  believe  so,"  said  Flora. 

"  They  behave  very  well,"  said  Lucy. 

"  You  are  the  most  lucky  person  in  the  world,  and  I  am 
the  most  unfortunate.  I  called  just  to  say  you  must  not  for 
the  world  stay  away  from  my  first  night.  It  will  be  a  grand 
affair.  The  Countess  and  the  young  Earl  will  be  there.  Mr. 
Laurel  knew  the  old  Earl,  and  often  dined  at  his  house  in 
town,  Harley  street,  Cavendish  square,  and  hence  he  is  an  old 
acquaintance  of  the  Countess's." 

"  What  Countess  and  Earl  ?"  asked  Flora. 

"  Haven't  you  heard  ?  It's  all  in  the  papers.  The  most  ro 
mantic  thing  in  the  world.  The  old  Earl  of  Hilton  was  killed  in 
Napoleon's  wars,  and  left  two  sons.  The  eldest,  and  the  one 
who  succeeded  him,  was  dissipated,  wild,  and  trifling.  The 
younger  was  just  the  reverse  in  every  thing,  and  therefore  he 
was  despised  by  the  new  lord.  Hunting  together  one  day,  the 
Earl's  horse  took  fright  and  threw  him.  He  was  stunned  and 


THE    EARL   INVITED.  289 

insensible  a  long  time,  but  his  brother  succeeded  in  bearing  him 
to  the  castle,  where  he  was  surrounded  by  his  vile  crew,  who 
charged  the  young  man  with  having  contrived  some  plan  to 
frighten  the  horse,  so  that  his  brother  might  be  killed,  and  he 
succeed  him.  The  earl  himself  was  induced  to  express  the 
same  opinion,  and  the  younger  brother,  turning  away  with  tears 
in  his  eyes,  resolved  they  should  never  have  another  opportu 
nity  to  bring  a  similar  accusation  against  him.  So  he  sped  to 
London,  and  taking  leave  of  his  mother,  from  whom  he  had  a 
moderate  income,  his  elder  brother  never  having  granted  him 
any  thing,  he  came  to  this  country." 

"  To  this  country  ?  "  repeated  Flora. 

"  Yes,  to  the  United  States.  That  was  several  years  ago. 
Most  of  his  time  has  been  spent  on  the  plains,  for  he  was  ex 
ceedingly  fond  of  wild  adventure.  But  he  assumed  another 
name — I  am  so  forgetful  I  can't  recollect  it — but  no  matter. 
Well,  his  brother  was  killed  by  his  horse  at  last  in  some  sort 
of  a  break-neck  race — I  don't  remember  what  they  call  it — 
but  it  can  hardly  be  desirable  sport.  So  the  younger  brother 
is  now  the  Earl  of  Hilton,  and  the  countess,  his  mother,  is 
to  arrive  in  the  next  steamer,  and  will  be  my  guest." 

"  Where  is  the  earl  ?  "  asked  Miss  Blount. 

"  Oh,  he  is  somewhere  in  the  city.  Mr.  Laurel  has  seen 
him.  But  he  is  still  incognito.  All  his  letters  from  his 
mother,  for  several  years  past,  have  been  directed  to  Mr. 
Laurel.  They  will  both  be  there,  you  may  rely  upon  it.  And 
I  must  cpllect  a  party  of  genteel  Americans  to  show  to  the 
countess.  The  earl,  by  this  time,  has  seen  all  sorts  of 
people." 

"  You  must  have  my  friend,  the  poet,  there,"  said  Miss 
Blount. 

"  Pollen  ?  Mr.  Laurel  says  his  poetry  is  tolerable.  If  I 
could  be  sure  he  wouldn't  get  drunk " 

"  Drunk,  Mrs.  Laurel !  " 

"  Don't  you  know  a  glass  of  wine  sometimes  intoxicates  or 
maddens  him  ?  " 

"  No  !     Bless  me,  is  it  so  ?  " 

"  It  is,  indeed.  But  I'll  send  him  a  note.  I  have  only 
ninety  names  yet.  There  must  be  a  hundred.  Oh  !  I  forgot 
to  tell  you  how  Mr.  Laurel  served  me.  He  declares  I  have 
seen  and  conversed  with  this  young  nobleman  twenty  times 
without  knowing  it ;  and  that  he  has  frequently  dined  with 
13 


290  THE  WINKLES. 

us  !  Did  ever  any  other  husband  keep  such  secrets  from  his 
•wife  ?  They  wouldn't  trust  me  !  I'll  be  revenged  on  the 
earl  when  the  mask  is  removed." 

"  And  you  don't  know  him  yet  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  No,  upon  my  word  !  Mr.  Laurel,  you  know,  has  the  gout, 
and  never  leaves  the  house — so  I  don't  see  any  of  his  friends, 
but  those  who  visit  him,  and " 

"  But  can't  you  guess  ?  "  continued  Lucy.  "  It  seems  to 
me  if  he  had  dined  at  my  table " 

"  Oh,  bless  you,  sweet  soul !  we  have  dozens  to  dinner 
every  day.  Mr.  Laurel  cannot  enjoy  his  dinner  without  com 
pany.  I  might  as  well  attempt  to  recollect  all  I  saw  in  the 
street  last  Monday,  as  to  go  over  the  list  of  our  dining  guests. 
There  are  always  covers  for  twelve.  I'll  see  about  this  poet 
of  yours,  my  dear  Blount.  You  know  there  is  a  committee 
of  ladies  to  be  consulted.  If  he  only  had  wealth  it  would  go 
far  in  his  favor.  Wealth  is  indispensable  now.  But  genius 
ought  to  atone  for  the  want  of  it,  as  well  as  naval  caps  and 
duels.  He  shall  have  my  vote.  Good  day  !  " 

And,  not  permitting  a  reply,  the  loquacious  matron  de 
parted. 

Immediately  Miss  Blount  sought  for  the  paper  containing 
the  story  of  the  incognito  nobleman,  and  found  it  to  corre 
spond  very  nearly  with  the  narration  of  Mrs.  Laurel,  whose 
husband,  indeed,  had  written  it  for  the  journal. 

Presently  another  visitor  was  announced,  and  shown  into 
the  parlor.  This  was  Mr.  Quince  McCrabbed,  the  brother  of 
Edith. 

"  Mercy  on  me  !  "  exclaimed  Flora  ;  "  he's  come  to  talk 
about  Edith — perhaps  with  a  message  and  reproaches  from 
her.  If  so,  I  shall  not  be  able  to  compose  myself  for  the  opera. 
My  nerves  will  be  all  unstrung." 

"  Let  me  see  him,  aunt,"  said  Lucy. 

"  If  you  please,  child  ;  and  you  know  as  much  about  the 
matter  as  I  do.  Only  send  him  away  as  quickly  as  possible, 
and  tell  him  never  to  shock  my  nerves  again." 

"  Never  fear,  aunt,"  said  Lucy,  as  she  withdrew  with  a 
resolute  step. 

"  Mr.  McCrabbed,  I  believe  ?  "  said  Lucy,  upon  entering 
the  parlor,  and  confronting  the  wrinkled,  jaundice-faced 
Scotchman. 

"  I  am  the  brother  of  Edith  McCrabbed,"  said  he  ;  "  and 


THE  DEFAULTER'S  BROTHER.       291 

I  have  called,  at  her  request,  to  see  Miss  Blount  about  her 
salary.  I  suppose  you  are  Miss  Blount's  niece,  and  the  one 
who  supplanted  Edith.  Edith  says  she  has  never  been  paid 
for  her  services,  and  has  signed  no  receipts " 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir ;  but  she  signed  a  great  many,  of 
which  my  aunt  was  never  informed  until  recently." 

"  That  has  nothing  to  do  with  my  business  here.  I  came 
to  collect  the  salary  of  my  sister,  and  if  there  are  any  items 
by  way  of  offset,  they  may  be  deducted." 

"  Then  I  presume  the  three  thousand  dollars  she  sent  you 
may  be  deducted  first." 

"  Three  hundred,  miss." 

"  No;  three  thousand.     We  saw  the  letter." 

"  You  must  have  looked  at  it  carelessly.  It  is  a  mistake. 
Edith  kept  the  letter  ?  " 

"  No,  sir  ;  a  good  Providence  caused  her  to  leave  it  when 
she  absconded." 

"  Indeed  !  "  McCrabbed  had  feared  it ;  but  still  hoped 
his  sister  might  have  lost  the  letter  elsewhere.  "  Will  you 
be  kind  enough  to  permit  me  to  see  it,  miss,  that  I  may  show 
you  it  was  written  down  three  hundred  instead  of  three  thou 
sand  ?  " 

"  I  am  sorry  the  opportunity  to  do  so  cannot  be  afforded 
you.  Mr.  Milnor,  who  is  now  my  aunt's  agent,  has  possession 
of  it,  as  well  as  other  papers  in  relation  to  your  sister's 
frauds » 

"  Frauds,  miss  ?     Such  language  is  actionable  !  " 

"  Frauds — if  pilfering  and  robbing  be  frauds.  Mr.  Milnor 
has  already  ascertained  that  your  sister  defrauded  my  aunt  to 
the  amount  of  $7,000 ;  and  he  supposes  the  sum  will  be 
greatly  increased  by  future  developments.  Your  sister  is  in 
Philadelphia,  I  suppose  ?  " 

"  Yes — no — she — good  day,  miss,"  said  the  terrified 
Scotchman,  hastily  departing. 

"  How  can  you  appear  so  calm,  my  dear  child,"  said 
Flora,  when  Lucy  rejoined  her,  "  after  an  interview  with  that 
vile  woman's  brother  ?  " 

"  My  nerves  are  made  of  wire,  as  Mr.  Lowe  says,"  replied 
Lucy.  "  But  Mr.  Milnor  had  anticipated  something  of  the 
sort,  and  furnished  me  with  matter  for  a  threatening  speech, 
which  soon  put  him  to  flight." 


292  THE   WINKLES. 


CHAPTER   XXVI. 

MISS  FLOE  A  BLOUNT  AND  LUCY  GO  TO  THE  OPERA,  AND  RETURN  IN 
THE  BLUE  CARRIAGE— DR.  McGAB  PROPOSES. 

AT  the  hour  appointed,  quite  a  fine  hired  carriage  was  at  the 
door  of  the  Blount  mansion.  This  was  Lucy's  suggestion ; 
for  she  did  not  think  her  aunt  quite  rich  enough  to  keep  an 
equipage  of  her  own,  and  she  did  not  suppose  such  an  estab 
lishment  was  necessary  to  maintain  a  good  position  in  society. 
They  were  born  in  £  good  circle,  and  hence  they  belonged  to 
the  "  privileged  class,"  as  it  was  termed  by  the  envious  parve- 
nues.  But  they  had  a  front  seat  at  the  opera ;  which,  how 
ever,  was  more  for  their  own  enjoyment,  than  for  the  purpose 
of  making  a  display. 

Nevertheless,  they  did  make  an  unrivalled  display.  Most 
beautiful  at  all  times,  Lucy  was  perfectly  enchanting  in  the 
full  glare  of  the  chandeliers.  A  thousand  eyes  rested  on  her, 
and  inquiries  in  regard  to  the  "  perfect  angel,"  were  whispered 
in  all  parts  of  the  house. 

Mr.  Pollen  occupied  a  seat  between  Lucy  and  her  aunt ; 
and,  being  in  the  vein,  entertained  them  with  judicious  criti 
cisms  on  the  comparative  merits  of  the  performers. 

"  That  pale  girl,"  said  he,  "  in  the  chorus,  has  a  finer  voice 
than  the  prima  donna.  Listen !  But  she  is  an  American, 
and  is  paid  but  five  dollars  a  week.  If  they  had  her  in  Paris 
a  couple  of  years,  by  changing  her  name  so  as  to  make  it  ter 
minate  with  an  i,  she  might  earn  $500  a  night ;  and  that,  too, 
in  her  own  country,  provided  the  place  of  her  nativity  were 
kept  a  profound  secret." 

"  Mr.  Pollen,  do  you  not  hate  your  own  country?  "  asked 
Lucy. 

"  I  hate  its  errors  and  blemishes." 

"  But  is  it  not  the  same,  and  has  it  not  always  been  the 
same,  with  other  countries  ?  You  know  a  prophet  is  not  with 
out  honor,  except  in  his  own  country." 

"  True ;  but  should  we  not  profit  by  the  errors  of  other 
nations  ?  The  people  of  our  great  country  should  despise  the 
servile  practices  of  European  nations." 

"  Nevertheless,"  continued  Lucy,  "  we  sometimes  have  our 
revenge." 


THE    OPERA.  293 

"  Yes ! "  said  Miss  Blount,  having  recovered  from  a 
paroxysm  of  ecstasy,  into  which  she  had  been  thrown  by  the 
finale  of  the  first  act ;  "  for  the  London  Times,  brought  by 
the  steamer  to-day,  is  filled  with  praises  of  an  American 
actress — a  Miss  Delia  Glass." 

"  I  saw  the  eulogiums,"  said  Pollen.  "  Her  fortune  is 
made.  And  if  you  had  looked  among  the  advertisements,  you 
would  have  seen  a  bookseller's  announcement  of  an  illustrated 
edition  of  my  works.  What  publisher  here  would  have  un 
dertaken  such  an  enterprise  ?  None,  not  one.  I  have  tried 
them  all.  But  I  shall  not  derive  a  particle  of  pecuniary  ad 
vantage  from  the  publication — not  one  cent.  It  is  a  retalia 
tory  measure.  Our  members  of  Congress,  better  capable  of 
appreciating  the  value  of  dollars,  and  the  votes  of  paper- 
makers  and  bookbinders,  than  the  brains  of  authors,  have  re 
fused  to  foster  a  national  literature ;  and  in  consequence  the 
country  is  inundated  with  republications  of  European  books, 
whose  authors  can  derive  no  compensation  from  our  pub 
lishers." 

"  But,  being  indorsed  by  the  British  critics,"  said  Lucy, 
"  your  countrymen  will  now  recognize  your  pretensions:  and 
acknowledge  your  merit." 

"  Oh,  yes,  in  time.  And  they  will  ultimately  purchase  my 
works.  But  then  I  will  be  in  my  grave.  Too  late  !  too  late  ! 
Excuse  me."  The  poet  hastily  withdrew,  quivering  with  an 
excessive  agitation. 

"  He'll  be  back  soon,"  said  Miss  Blount.  "  But,  my  dear 
Lucy,  I  hope  you  will  in  future  avoid  that  subject.  It  always 
produces  an  uncontrollable  excitement.  The  poor  poet  has 
been  the  victim  of  the  critics." 

"  I  will  remember,  aunt.  I  wonder  what  can  be  the  reason 
Mr.  Lowe  has  never  looked  in  this  direction  ? "  continued 
Lucy,  observing  that  her  aunt  was  regarding  the  young  gen 
tleman,  who  stood  near  the  orchestra. 

"  I  cannot  conjecture,"  said  Flora.  "  I  have  been  striving 
for  some  time  to  catch  his  eye,  but  in  vain.  And  yet  he  is 
constantly  casting  his  glances  above  us.  Who  can  he  see 
there  ?  " 

The  aunt  and  niece  turned  involuntarily,  and  beheld  the 
face  of  Roland  behind  them.  He  was  standing  near  the  door, 
in  the  next  box  to  them.  He  bowed  to  Lucy,  but  she  did  not 
return  it.  Lowe,  who  had  seen  only  the  motion  of  Roland, 


294  THE    WINKLES. 

turned  his  eyes  away,  and  gazed  at  the  Misses  Arum  and 
Crudle,  in  an  opposite  box. 

Lucy  was  pained  at  the  occurrence,  and  turned  her  face 
aside  in  sadness. 

"  Who  is  that  man?  "  asked  Miss  Blount. 

u  Roland,"  was  the  faint  reply. 

"  So  it  is  !  I  should  have  known  him,  as  often  as  I  have 
seen  him  recently  in  the  blue  carriage.  But  he  is  more  hand 
somely  dressed  than  usual,  and  is  quite  a  fine-looking  man  for 
one  of  his  age.  "Well,  well,  he's  gone.  Cheer  up,  my  child. 
There  is  no  danger  here.  Can  you  tell  me  who  are  those 
impudently  bejewelled  girls  over  yonder,  with  their  glasses 
continually  pointed  at  us  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  Lucy,  recovering  from  her  dejection. 
"  They  are  the  belles  of  Babbleton.  The  representatives  of 
all  the  Arums  and  Crudles — rich  and " 

"  Fools  !  as  your  Aunt  Wilsome  would  say.  I  do  believe 
they  are  talking  scandal  about  us,  and  to  all  the  eager  young 
gentlemen  fluttering  around  them.  Did  you  ever  see  such 
airs — such  affectation  ?  " 

"  I  suppose  they  have  been  saying,  they  disliked  the  idea 
of  attending  Mrs.  Laurel's  parties,  if  we  are  to  be  there." 

"  No  doubt  they  will  tell  everybody — for  everybody  seems 
to  have  access  to  them — that  Mrs.  Laurel  has  sent  them  notes 
of  invitation.  But  here  comes  my  poet,  radiant  with  smiles." 

This  was  true.  Pollen  resumed  his  seat  in  high  spirits, 
and  announced  that  he  had  just  met  a  bookseller  in  the  lobby, 
who  made  him  a  flattering  proposition.  Lucy  intimated  that 
the  British  appreciation  of  his  merit  had  probably  incited  the 
bookseller  to  make  the  offer ;  and  the  poet  did  not  doubt  the 
truth  of  her  conjecture. 

At  the  end  of  the  next  act,  Pollen,  in  the  exuberance  of 
his  gay  humor,  poured  an  incessant  volley  of  words  into  the 
ear  of  Miss  Blount,  and  of  course  he  had  an  attentive  listener. 
And  Lucy,  apparently  neglected,  and  looking  in  vain  for  the 
one  who  had  monopolized  her  thoughts,  was  conscious  of  a 
slight  movement  behind,  and  the  next  moment  was  surprised 
by  the  voice  of  Lowe,  who  calmly  took  possession  of  an  unoc 
cupied  seat  on  her  left.  In  vain  she  strove  to  arrest  the 
scarlet  flood  which  rushed  into  her  cheeks,  and  spread  over 
her  temples  and  forehead. 


EXPLANATIONS.  295 

"  I  saw  Roland  bow  to  you  to-night,"  said  Lowe,  in  a  half 
whisper. 

"  He  did,"  was  the  reply. 

K  You  could  not  forbid  it ;  you  could  not  prevent  him " 

"  No,  no,  I  could  not.  I  turned  away  from  his  gaze  as 
quickly  as  I  could.  But  why  do  you  still  mention  his  name  ? 
After  the  occurrence  on  the  night  of  my  uncle's — you  know 
perfectly  well  what  I  allude  to — it  would  be  doing  me  great 
injustice  to  suppose  I  could  pardon  his  conduct,  or  admit  him 
again,  voluntarily,  into  my  presence." 

"  He  must  be  the  most  mendacious  man  that  ever  existed  ! 
Do  you  know  he  has  reported  at  one  of  the  clubs  he  attends, 
that  you  have  obtained  his  permission  to  use  his  carriage  as 
your  own  ?  " 

"  No ;  I  did  not  know  he  had  slandered  me  thus.  His 
carriage !  Oh,  Mr.  Lowe,  I  have  desired  to  mention  the  sub 
ject  of  his  carriage  to  you.  but  could  never  have  the  resolution 
to  say  what  I  so  anxiously  wished.  And  this  is  not  the  place. 
Will  you  not  accompany  us  home  after  the  opera  ?  " 

"  I  cannot.  I  am  sorry  I  am  otherwise  engaged.  I  came 
with  a  lady,  now  in  one  of  the  private  boxes " 

"  I  will  not  ask  who  she  is,"  said  Lucy,  "  nor  seek  to  know 
if  she  gazes  at  you,  or  watches  your  steps,  or " 

"  Oh,  Lucy,  do  not  attempt  a  retaliation.  My  heart  is 
only  for  you.  You  may  break  it " 

«  I  break  it ! " 

"  You  may  crush  it,  and  then  it  can  never  be  offered  to 
another.  Henceforth,  it  can  be  of  no  value  to  any  one." 

"  Why  will  you  distress  me  thus  ?  Oh,  Edmund !  if  you 
but  knew  the  misery  you  inflict  by  such  unjust  suspicions  ;  if 
you  would  but  hear  me,  and  believe  my  words,  which  are 
true — and  would  be  equally  as  frank  and  confiding " 

"  To-morrow  I  will  see  you.  And — and  soon — very  soon, 
there  will  be  an  end  to  my  mystery,  which  has  been  only  a 

source  of  unhappiness — an  inevitable but  the  curtain  rises, 

and  I  must  hasten  back  to  my  companion — who,  by  the  way, 
Lucy,  is  quite  as  old  as  your  mother.  Adieu." 

After  Lowe  left  her,  Lucy,  instead  of  beholding  Roland, 
had  the  pleasure  to  see  Henry  Milnor  approach,  and  occupy 
the  seat  at  her  elbow.  He  remained  until  the  bell  rang  for 
the  final  act ;  and  he  sought  by  every  means  in  his  power  to 
dispel  the  slight  cloud  of  gloom  which  he  thought  might  be 


296  THE   WINKLES. 

discerned  on  the  fair  brow  of  Lucy.  And  it  was  measurably 
dispersed  by  his  fascinating  powers  of  conversation.  He 
pointed  out  the  lions  and  the  most  distinguished  belles  of  the 
city  to  her,  and  related  many  innocent  anecdotes  of  them, 
which  interested  his  fair  listener. 

"  But  I  have  not  the  happiness  to  be  acquainted  with  all 
the  belles  of  Babbleton,"  said  he,  directing  her  attention  to 
wards  the  opposite  box,  where  Bell  Arum  and  Susan  Crudle 
were  apparently  straining  their  eyes  to  catch  every  attitude  and 
motion  of  the  occupants  of  the  box  in  which  he  was  sitting. 

"  I  supposed,"  said  Lucy,  "  by  this  time  the  ladies  opposite 
would  have  been  known  by  all  the  gentlemen — I  mean  the 
fashionable  gentlemen." 

"  And  why,  pray  ?  " 

"  Because  they  are  reputed  to  be  rich.  But  you  are  not 
a  fashionable  gentleman.  You  told  me  so  yourself.  Their 
names,  then " 

"  Oh,  I  know  their  names,"  said  Milnor. 

"  That  was  all  I  meant,"  continued  Lucy.  "  I  could  not 
suppose  all  the  gentlemen  had  cultivated  their  acquaintance. 
Such  an  attempt  would  not  allow  the  poor  belles  sufficient  time 
to  take  their  food." 

"  And  they  would  incontinently  perish." 

"  That  is  malicious.  But  they  have  been  telling  tales,  as 
Mr.  Lowe  informs  me.  He  says  they  have  given  the  history 
of  my  family  to  their  eager  auditors.  Do  you  know  any  of 
the  delighted  young  gentlemen  who  seem  to  be  their  worship 
pers." 

"  I  know  the  names  and  occupations  of  several  of  them — 
and  I  think  it  probable  they  have  mentioned  my  name,  if  the 
young  ladies  are  at  all  inquisitive." 

"  Inquisitive  !  Let  your  shafts  fall  exclusively  on  the 
ruder  sex." 

"  Very  well.     One  of  their  admirers  is  a  hair  dyer " 

"  A  what  ?  " 

"  He  certainly  keeps  a  little  shop,  in  which  a  liquid  hair 
dye  is  sold.  The  tall  one,  with  the  large  diamond  pin,  and 
the  enormous  seal.  The  fat  one  is  a  sample  clerk  in  a  British 
commission  house.  He  was  in  the  store  the  day  you  came, 
striving  to  sell  us  a  package  of  lawns.  The  one  with  the 
moustache,  is  a  music  teacher,  I  believe.  I  know  he  belongs 
to  a  band  hired  by  picnic  parties,  and  by  steamboats  that  go 


WHO    WERE    AT    THE   OPERA.  297 

on  excursions  of  pleasure.  But  he  is  unobtrusive  and  gentle* 
manly  in  his  demeanor ;  and  doubtless  entitled  to  make  a  for 
tune  by  marrying,  if  any  heiress  should  see  proper  to  have 
him.  The  modest  young  man  sitting  behind  the  ladies,  is  a 
very  respectable  scrivener.  His  father  was  an  eminent  lawyer, 
but  unfortunate  in  his  speculations.  He  is  likewise  preparing 
for  the  bar,  and  no  doubt  will  deserve,  and  achieve  success. 
I  don't  think  he  will  marry  a  fortune,  from  the  fact  that  his 
rivals  have  the  knack  of  saying  more  smart  things  than  him 
self.  I  suppose  the  full-chested  beau,  with  his  thumbs  in  his 
vest  holes,  and  whose  voice  can  sometimes  be  distinguished  at 
this  distance,  and  whose  laughter  is  heard  all  over  the  house, 
will  win  a  prize.  He  is  the  son  of  an  auctioneer,  of  some 
fortune.  There  are  two  members  of  the  press  just  entering — 
but  the  curtain  rises.  Adieu  !  " 

At  the  end  of  the  performance,  a  shower  of  bouquets  alighted 
upon  the  stage.  Many  of  them  were  thrown  from  the  box 
of  the  heiresses — and  as  many  were  retained  by  the  belles,  for 
their  own  gratification,  being  the  tributes  of  one  of  their  ad 
mirers,  whose  father  was  a  fashionable  horticulturist. 

When  Lucy  and  her  aunt  were  conducted  by  Pollen  along 
the  densely  thronged  lobby  towards  the  door  opening  on  the 
street,  they  were  followed  by  Lowe,  who  was  attending  the 
elderly  lady  which  had  been  alluded  to  by  him.  She  was 
very  fair,  and  quite  as  fat  as  Miss  Blount ;  and  Lucy  could 
not  avoid  hearing  her  expressions  of  admiration,  when,  upon 
turning  her  head,  the  lady  had  obtained  a  view  of  her  features. 
No  doubt,  thought  she,  Lowe  had  been  speaking  of  her  to  his 
companion,  and  the  supposition  was  not  a  painful  one. 

Arrived  at  the  great  steps  in  front  of  the  theatre,  there 
was  some  difficulty  in  finding  their  carriage.  At  length  they 
were  accosted  by  a  small  boy,  who  asked  if  their  names  were 
not  Blount.  Miss  Flora  answered  in  the  affirmative. 

"  Then  here's  your  carriage,"  said  the  boy.  "  The  driver 
can't  leave  the  horses  in  this  jam."  And  it  was  a  jam.  Car 
riages  were  interlocked,  and  the  people  were  struggling  in 
every  direction. 

As  Pollen  pushed  through  the  dense  crowd,  following  the 
boy,  Lucy  beheld  Roland  a  few  paces  in  advance,  and  a  chill 
ran  through  her  veins.  But  now  they  had  reached  the  car 
riage,  the  door  of  which  was  held  open  by  the  accommodating 
lad. 

13* 


298  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Here,  my  lad,"  said  Flora,  putting  a  shilling  in  his  hand. 

"  Thank'ee,  mum,"  said  he. 

As  Lucy  stepped  in,  she  east  a  look  behind,  and  was 
startled  to  observe  Lowe,  standing  on  one  of  the  steps  in  the 
vicinity.  The  rays  of  the  lamp  fell  upon  his  face,  and  she 
saw  he  was  deathly  pale.  And  as  she  vanished,  he  clasped  his 
forehead  with  his  hand,  and  turned  away,  just  when  the  driver 
cracked  his  whip.  The  horses  moved  off  briskly,  while  Pollen 
was  with  great  glee  informing  Miss  Flora  that  his  portfolio 
contained  a  sufficient  quantity  of  manuscripts  to  make  a  vol 
ume  of  the  size  demanded  by  the  bookseller;  and  that  he 
anticipated  decided  success,  from  the  fact  that  he  had  written 
much  of  it  in  great  distress  of  mind,  and  when  out  of  favor 
with  the  world.  He  said  that  most  of  the  great  productions 
had  been  written  under  similar  circumstances,  which  seemed 
to  have  caused  an  unusual  concentration  of  mind  on  the  sub 
jects  treated,  and  a  more  perfect  abstraction  from  other  ob 
jects  and  influences. 

Lucy  remained  silent,  and  lost  in  unpleasant  surmises, 
until  the  carriage  stopped  at  her  aunt's  door.  Then,  upon 
descending  to  the  pavement,  it  was  discovered  that  they  had 
been  taken  home  in  Roland's  blue  carriage  !  The  lamp  near 
which  they  alighted  revealed  the  mistake  they  had  made  ;  and 
Flora  and  Pollen  laughed  very  heartily  at  the  occurrence.  It 
was  different  with  poor  Lucy.  She  knew  it  was  no  inadvert 
ence.  She  felt  an  agony  at  her  heart,  and  clung  to  Pollen  for 
support.  Lowe  had  seen  her  enter  the  carriage,  which  he 
knew  to  be  Roland's.  That  was  the  explanation  of  his  de 
spairing  pallor  and  extraordinary  gesture  on  the  steps  of  the 
theatre.  How,  then,  could  she  explain,  the  next  morning  ? 
Would  he  call  upon  her,  according  to  the  appointment,  after 
what  he  had  witnessed  ? 

The  carriage  drove  off,  and  the  one  that  had  taken  them 
to  the  theatre  arrived  in  great  haste. 

"  It  was  not  my  fault,  madam,"  said  the  coachman.  "  They 
pushed  me  away  from  the  front.  I  was  hunting  you,  and  saw 
you  just  when  you  was  stepping  up.  I  hallooed,  but  you 
couldn't  hear  me  in  the  crowd.  It  wasn't  my  fault.  But 
there  was  some  foul  play.  I'll  see  who  did  it ! " 

"  Never  mind,  John,"  said  Miss  Flora.  "  It  was  only  an 
amusing  adventure.  Don't  get  into  a  quarrel  with  any  one 
on  account  of  it." 


THE    DOCTOR.  299 

"  Aunt,"  said  Lucy,  in  an  earnest  tone,  "  pray  let  us  go  in. 
I  am  ill." 

They  entered  the  house  immediately.  Upon  beholding 
her  niece,  Flora  exclaimed  in  alarm,  that  the  dear  girl  was 
fainting,  and  caught  her  in  her  arms. 

"  No,  aunt,"  said  Lucy,  feebly ;  "  I  am  not  fainting.  But 
I  am  not  well.  Pray  conduct  me  to  my  room." 

"  Mr.  Pollen  !  "  cried  Flora,  "  please  go  for  the  doctor — 
Dr.  McGab ! " 

"  No,  aunt !  I  will  be  better,  soon.  But  if  not,  do  not 
send  for  him,  if  you  have  no  one  else's  recommendation  but 
Miss  McCrabbed's." 

"  Oh,  he  is  a  good  physician." 

"I  am  better,  aunt.  I  shall  not  require  a  doctor,  I 
hope." 

But  she  did  seem  to  require  one  the  next  day.  After  a 
restless  night,  she  arose  in  the  morning  with  a  violent  head 
ache.  And  when  the  hour  appointed  by  Lowe  to  see  her  had 
passed,  and  no  communication  from  him  had  been  received 
explaining  the  cause  of  his  failure  to  attend,  she  seemed  so 
much  worse,  that  her  aunt  was  alarmed,  and  again  entreat 
ed  her  to  let  Dr.  McGab  be  sent  for.  Lucy,  not  deeming  it 
a  case  wherein  the  Esculapian  might  be  usefully  employed, 
still  resisted.  Her  aunt  then  became  very  miserable  herself. 
Lucy,  she  was  quite  sure,  was  very  ill,  or  would  be  soon,  and 
she  feared  she  would  be  disappointed  in  the  exhibition  of  her 
beautiful  niece  at  the  great  party,  where  a  living  countess  and 
a  real  lord  would  be  present.  Such  apprehensions  shocked 
her  nerves  to  such  a  degree,  that  she  was  under  the  necessity 
of  calling  in  the  doctor  for  her  own  benefit. 

Dr.  McGab  was  a  tall  gentleman,  with  red  hair,  and  an 
intellectual  face,  said  by  some  to  resemble  Thomas  Jefferson's. 
His  practice  was  pretty  extensive,  and  as  he  possessed  one  of 
the  essential  characteristics  of  his  country — an  almost  miracu 
lous  economy — he  was  growing  wealthy.  His  income  might 
increase — his  expenditures  never. 

The  doctor  entered  the  parlor  where  Lucy  was  sitting 
alone. 

"  Grood  morning,  Miss  Winkle,"  said  he,  sitting  down  be 
side  her  on  the  sofa.  <c  I  am  sorry  to  see  you  looking  so 
badly.  A  little  nervous  excitement,  perhaps ;  your  aunt  is  a 


300  THE   WINKLES. 

victim  to  it.  I  hope  it  is  not  hereditary.  I  hope  not,  truly, 
truly,  truly." 

Lucy  smiled  at  his  earnestness  of  manner,  and  his  habit 
ual  repetition  of  the  final  word  of  his  sentences. 

"  No,  doctor,"  said  she,  "  I  think  not." 

"  But  you  don't  look  well,  not  well,  not  well." 

"  A  headache,  merely.     It  was  my  aunt " 

"  I  know.  My  professional  visit  is  to  her.  I  will  see  her 
when  she  is  ready.  She  must  put  on  a  ribbon,  or  something 
of  tho  sort,  before  I  can  be  admitted.  The  ladies  are  all 
alike.  The  doctor  must  be  delayed  for  some  adjustment  of 
costume  or  furniture,  even  in  cases  of  imminent  danger.  All 
alike,  alike,  alike." 

"  I  am  sure,  doctor,  you  ought  to  be  flattered  by  it,"  re 
plied  Lucy. 

"  I  am — when  the  delay  is  not  too  long — and  it  cannot  be 
in  this  instance,  instance.  But  the  door  opens  for  me,  and  I 
may  go  up,  now,  now.  I  will  leave  my  gloves  with  you,  you, 
you,"  continued  the  doctor,  striding  away. 

He  found  Miss  Flora  prostrated  by  the  severest  attack  she 
had  ever  experienced,  and  really  requiring  his  aid.  After 
writing  a  prescription,  and  leaving  particular  directions  for  her 
to  remain  as  nearly  as  possible  immovable,  he  returned  to  the 
parlor. 

"  How  is  my  aunt,  doctor  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  The  attack  is  severe,  severe.  She  must  not  be  startled 
— not  disturbed.  I  have  sent  for  the  medicine.  She  orders 
me  to  see  you.  Your  pulse,  pulse,"  he  continued,  taking  the 
wrist  of  Lucy  in  his  hand. 

"  I  hope  my  case  will  not  require  medicine,  doctor,"  said 
she. 

"  No.  But  it  is  not  right — not  right.  Your  tongue, 
tongue.  Nothing,  nothing.  Good  constitution — some  little 
excitement.  No  medicine — no  medicine." 

"  I  am  glad  to  hear  it,  doctor." 

"  So  am  I — so  am  I.  Be  well  to-morrow,  or  next  day — * 
next  day.  McCrabbed  gone,  eh  ?  Bad  woman." 

"  She  was  indeed,  doctor." 

"  Sorry  for  it,  sorry  for  it.  Countrywoman  of  mine, 
mine.  But  better  as  it  is.  Miss  Blount's  own  niece,  heir, 
heir,  heir." 

"  Pray   release   my   wrist,   doctor,"    said    Lucy^   almost 


301 

alarmed  at  the  violence  of  the  grasp  with  which  the  doctor 
held  it. 

"  Certainly,"  said  the  doctor,  releasing  her  wrist,  but  re 
taining  her  hand,  and  sliding  down  on  his  knee ;  "  Miss 
Winkle,"  he  continued,  "  I  am  a  bachelor.  Not  old — not  old. 
I  love  you,  have  loved  you,  ever  since  I  saw  you  first,  first, 
first " 

<:  Dr.  McGab  ! " 

"  Seriously,  seriously,  seriously.  Upon  my  honor,  honor, 
honor.  Is  there  hope,  hope,  hope  ?  " 

"  I  fear  not,  doctor  !  "  said  Lucy,  springing  up,  and  with 
difficulty  preserving  her  gravity  of  countenance. 

"  Say  hope,  hope,  hope  !  "  continued  the  doctor,  still  rest 
ing  on  one  knee. 

"  I  cannot  I  must  not  deceive  you.  I  fear  it  is  a  des 
perate  case,"  she  added,  turning  away,  and  holding  her  hand 
kerchief  to  her  mouth. 

"  Think  of  it,  think  of  it,"  said  the  doctor,  rising.  "  Pause 
— reflect — no  hasty  prognosis — um — the  profession !  Dream 
on  it,  dream  on  it.  See  you  again,  again,  again,"  continued 
he,  withdrawing. 

"  There  are  your  gloves,  doctor,"  said  Lucy. 

"  True — nervous  myself,  myself,  myself,"  he  kept  repeat 
ing,  until  he  passed  out  of  the  hall  door  and  disappeared  in 
the  street. 

Then  Lucy  threw  herself  down  on  the  sofa,  and  in  spite  of 
all  her  endeavors  to  the  contrary,  gave  vent  to  a  prolonged 
fit  of  laughter.  And  when  this  subsided,  she  was  surprised 
to  find  her  head  had  ceased  to  pain  her.  The  doctor  had  cer 
tainly  effected  a  cure. 

It  was,  perhaps,  fortunate  that  Lucy's  spirits  had  made 
such  a  rebound.  The  depression  which  had  afflicted  her,  if 
not  dispelled,  would  have  rendered  her  incapable  of  bearing 
with  fortitude  that  which  was  to  follow.  For,  not  many  min 
utes  after  the  departure  of  Dr.  McGab,  and  when  she  was 
sitting  beside  her  aunt,  a  letter  was  placed  in  her  hand  by  a 
servant,  who  said  the  bearer  did  not  await  a  reply.  Lucy 
knew  the  writing — but  steeled  her  heart  to  bear  with  equa 
nimity  whatever  might  be  traced  by  her  suspicious  lover — for 
in  that  light  she  could  not  avoid  regarding  him — while  at  the 
same  time  she  could  not  deny  that  he  had  ample  cause  to  be 
filled  with  doubt  and  apprehension.  Yet  she  felt  that  she 


302  THE  WINKLES. 

could  not  quite  forgive  him  for  entertaining  a  mistrust,  which 
would  have  instantly  vanished  if  his  decision  had  been  delayed 
until  he  had  obtained  an  explanation. 

"  Read  the  letter,  child."  said  Miss  Flora.  "  I  am  much 
better,  since  your  color  has  returned.  What  a  strange  thing 
is  sympathy !  It  seems  to  me  the  relief  you  have  obtained  has 
likewise  relieved  me,  in  a  great  degree." 

"  I  wish,  aunt,"  said  Lucy,  "  you  were  sufficiently  recov 
ered  to  hear  me  with  composure — before  I  break  the  seal  of 
this  letter." 

"  Who  is  it  from  ?  I  am  composed,  now.  What  would 
you  say  ?  " 

"  Oh,  it  is  a  long  tale — a " 

"Love  tale?" 

«  Yes." 

"  Then  I  can  hear  it !  "  said  Flora,  rising  on  her  elbow. 
"Such  tales  never  shock  my  nerves;  on  the  contrary,  they 
tranquillize  me.  It  will  cure  me,  Lucy.  I  desire  you  will 
proceed." 

Lucy  related  every  thing  which  had  occurred  between  her 
self  and  Lowe,  up  to  the  moment  when  she  saw  him  strike  his 
forehead,  as  she  unconsciously  entered  the  blue  carriage. 

"  It  is  a  romance  !  "  said  her  aunt,  rising.  "  You  see  it 
has  nearly  cured  me,  I  will  rise  and  sit  by  the  fire.  But 
who  is  Mr.  Lowe  ?  " 

"  I   know  not — but  I  suspect "  said    Lucy,  and   she 

would  say  no  more. 

"  He  seems  to  be  a  gentleman,"  said  her  aunt. 

"  Oh,  yes." 

Head  his  letter,  Lucy.  No  doubt  he  reproaches  you. 
If  he  does,  what  will  you  do  ?  Make  up  your  mind  for  the 
worst,  and  then •" 

"  I  think  I  shall  not  faint,  aunt — nor  even  turn  pale.  He 
should  have  seen  me — should  have  heard  me.  I  will  read  it 
aloud — and  withhold  nothing  from  you." 

"  That  is  a  dear  child,"  said  Flora,  kissing  her. 
The  letter  was  as  follows :  "  Our  eyes  met  as  you  were 
entering  Roland's  carriage,  The  wound  which  I  experienced 
then,  I  fear  can  never  be  healed.  After  beholding  what  I 
did,  of  course  you  could  not  be  prepared  to  see  me  to-day. 
Oh,  Lucy  !  you  will  never  meet  with  a  truer  heart  than  mine  ! 
No  one  will  ever  adore  you  as  I  have  done — as  I  still  do— 


THE   DESPAIRING    LOVER.  303 

for  I  cannot  forbear  to  love  you,  deeply  wounded  as  I  am.  I 
write  incoherently,  in  unison  with  the  confused  ebullition  of 
my  feelings.  And  is  such  to  be  the  termination  of  my  happy 
dream  ?  My  mystery  was  upon  the  eve  of  a  solution — I  was 
about  to  vindicate  my  pretensions  in  open  day,  challenging 
the  whole  world  to  suggest  any  good  reason  why  you  should 
not  be  mine — mine  irrevocably.  But — how  bitterly  have  I 
been  disappointed  ! — I  will  not  say  deceived — for  reproaches 
were  useless.  Farewell !  This  is  the  last  line  you  will  ever 
receive  from  LOWE." 

Lucy  was  not  violently  agitated,  nor  excessively  pale ;  but 
she  uttered  a  low  sigh,  and  felt  an  oppression  at  her  heart. 

"  Do  not  believe  him,  Lucy.  He  loves  you  dearly,"  said 
her  aunt,  "  and  will  never  abandon  the  pursuit  until  you  dis 
card  him." 

"  That  he  supposes  I  have  already  done,"  said  Lucy,  sadly 
smiling  through  the  glittering  tears  which  relieved  her.  "  But 
he  should  have  seen  me.  and  heard  me.  One  word  of  expla 
nation  would  have  been  sufficient." 

"  Pshaw  !  Lucy,  have  you  not  read  novels  enough  to  know 
there  can  be  no  true  and  passionate  affection,  without  these 
ruptures,  and  farewells,  and  despairs  ?  I  would  never  marry, 
unless  my  lover  had  first  proved  the  strength  of  his  affection 
by  just  such  extravagant  paroxysms.  Depend  upon  it,  he  will 
again  throw  himself  at  your  feet.  But  who  is  he?  What 
mystery  does  he  allude  to  ?  " 

"  You  know  as  much  as  I  do,  aunt." 

"  Then  we  must  both  know  more,  before  I  shall  consent  to 
a  reconciliation." 

"  I  fear  the  rupture  is  past  healing,  aunt.  But  he  has 
done  me  injustice.  He  gave  me  no  opportunity  to  explain 
my  apparent  inconstancy.  Ah — here  is  his  number,  beneath 
his  name-^-done  in  pencil  mark — an  after  thought !  " 

"  He  believes  you  will  write  him." 

"  Possibly.  But  I  will  not.  No,  aunt ;  he  has  been  pre 
cipitate.  I  know  his  conduct  may  be  attributed  to  the  ardor 
of  his  affection — but  still  I  cannot  submit  to  act  the  humilia 
ting  part  of  a  petitioner,  and  plead  my  own  justification." 

"  Spoken  like  a  Blount,  and  a  Winkle  !  Will  he  be  at  the 
great  party  ?  " 

"  I  do  not  know.     But  I  think  it  probable." 


304  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I  hope  so.  We  will  meet  him  there.  You  must  be  firm 
and  independent." 

"  I  fear  I  shall  be  too  dull  to  go,  aunt.  And  I  am  sure, 
from  what  the  doctor  said,  it  will  not  be  prudent  for  you  to  be 
there." 

"  Dr.  McGab  is  sometimes  mistaken,  though  he  does  un 
derstand  my  constitution  better  than  I  do  myself.  We  must 
go.  At  least  you  must.  Ah !  I  am  sinking  again.  Why, 
why  did  the  doctor  have  the  cruelty  to  say  such  dreadful 
things ! " 

Lucy  led  her  aunt  to  her  couch,  and  administered  another 
anodyne,  according  to  the  physician's  directions. 


CHAPTEK    XXVII. 

THE  LOED  AND  LADY  AT  THE  GRAND  PARTY— A  CHALLENGE- THE 
BLUE  CARRIAGE—THE  DUEL. 

IT  was  the  grand  night  of  the  season,  and  Mrs.  Laurel  was  in 
her  glory.  Her  fine  mansion  was  overflowing  with  the  fashion, 
and  aristocracy,  and  wealth,  and  talents  of  the  city.  Dancing, 
singing,  laughing,  scandal,  and  all  the  train  of  enjoyments 
possible  on  such  an  occasion,  characterized  the  entertainment. 

Miss  Flora  Blount  was  confined  to  her  couch,  with  just 
sufficient  strength  to  turn  over  the  leaves  of  the  last  American 
novel,  which  had  been  recommended  by  Pollen.  The  poet 
had  the  honor  of  conducting  Lucy  to  Mrs.  Laurel's,  in  obedi 
ence  to  the  peremptory  command  of  Flora,  who  would  not  lis 
ten  to  Lucy's  reasons  for  desiring  to  stay  at  home,  Miss 
Wilsome  Winkle  had  signified  her  intention  of  being  present. 
But  in  a  subsequent  note  she  stated  that  a  whist  party  had 
been  formed  in  Philadelphia,  to  meet  at  her  own  house  on  the 
night  of  Mrs.  Laurel's  reception,  and  hence  she  could  not 
come. 

The  Arum  and  Crudle  belles  were  there,  but  not  accom 
panied  by  the  fluttering  dandies  that  had  surrounded  them  at 
the  theatre.  Not  one  of  them  had  been  deemed  of  sufficient 
elevation  in  society  to  be  invited  thither.  But  the  girls  en 
listed,  or  rather  impressed  into  their  service,  a  dilapidated  old 


THE   PARTY.  305 

colonel,  boarding  at  the  same  house.  He  made  every  objec 
tion  in  his  power,  even  exhibiting  the  stump  of  the  arm  which 
had  been  carried  away  by  a  cannon  ball,  alleging  the  impossi 
bility  of  leading  two  regiments  into  action — but  to  no  purpose. 
Miss  Crudle  said  she  would  be  contented  with  the  stump,  and 
endeavor  to  conceal  his  deficiency  of  limb.  Of  course  he  put 
on  his  regimentals,  and  the  girls  were  exceedingly  proud  of 
their  military  conductor,  who  was,  however,  an  ill-natured  and 
snappish  specimen  of  his  profession,  and  would  not  allow  them 
to  make  any  disparaging  remarks  on  the  poet  and  Lucy, 
whom  he  said  were  the  finest  looking  persons  in  the  saloons. 
But  when  the  Babbleton  misses  had  made  the  rounds  of  the 
mansion,  and  exhibited  their  jewels  and  the  colonel's  buttons 
to  every  body,  they  contrived  to  engage  the  attention  of  Ro 
land,  who,  most  singularly,  did  not  now  seem  to  desire  to  ap 
proach  Lucy,  or  to  annoy  her  with  his  attentions.  On  the 
contrary,  he  listened  with  pleasure  to  the  detracting  observa 
tions  of  Miss  Arum,  on  Lucy's  dress,  her  carriage,  her  com 
plexion,  and  her  very  equivocal  intimacy  with  Lowe,  who  was 
again  supposed  to  be  a  forger,  or  something  of  the  sort.  And 
he  not  only  participated  in  the  laughter  at  the  expense  of 
their  village  neighbor,  as  he  called  Lucy,  but  added  many 
items  of  deteriorating  scandal  himself,  which,  being  compre 
hended  by  the  quick  ear  of  Col.  Ball,  that  gentleman  immedi 
ately  abandoned  his  gossiping  companions.  He  then  sought 
for  Pollen.  He  found  him  just  when  Lucy  was  taken  posses 
sion  of  by  Mrs.  Laurel,  who  was  to  introduce  her  to  her  par 
ticular  female  friends,  and  first  among  them  was  the  countess, 
whose  appearance  was  every  moment  expected. 

"  I  have  not  the  pleasure  of  being  acquainted  with  you, " 
said  the  colonel  to  the  poet,  "  but  hope  I  shall  enjoy  the  hap 
piness  of  being  your  friend." 

"  My  name  is  Pollen " 

"  The  poet !     Oh,  I  know  you  very  well." 

"  You  were  once  my  commander,  Colonel  Ball.  I  was  a 
cadet " 

"  True,  true !  I  am  happy  to  meet  with  you  on  this 
occasion,  and  I  am  glad  you  have  won  distinction.  Perhaps, 
after  all,  the  pen  is  as  well  as  the  sword — but  yet  the  sword 
is  indispensable.  We  are  both  poorly  paid — but  no  matter. 
We  can  have  the  satisfaction  of  chastising  our  enemies.  Eh, 
Pollen  ?  » 


306  THE   WINKLES. 

"  They  do  say  my  criticisms  are  written  with  a  stiletto.  I 
do  not  wonder  at  it.  They  have  enraged  me  by  their  injus 
tice,  and  when  I  have  an  opportunity,  I  cannot  restrain  my 
arm.  If  they  will  goad  the  porcupine,  let  them  beware  of  his 
quills !  » 

"  Well  said,  Pollen.  And  now,  do  you  know  that  you 
have  an  enemy  in  this  house  ?  " 

"  An  enemy  ?  Say  twenty.  There  are  a  score  of  critics 
and  publishers  present  who  sneer  at  my  pretensions  as  an  au 
thor — merely  because  I  am  an  American." 

"  Pooh — nonsense— what  difference  does  it  make,  in  the 
republic  of  letters,  where  a  writer  was  born  ?  Or  a  gen 
eral  ?  Bonaparte  was  a  native  of  Corsica,  a  contemptible 
island.  No,  sir ;  I  can  tell  you  the  reason  why  your  name  is 
not  in  every  paper,  and  your  books  in  every  library." 

"  Then  you  will  much  oblige  me." 

"  I  will,  sir.  You  have  true  merit,  and  relying  upon  that, 
you  have  not  conciliated  the  censors  of  American  litera 
ture  by  cringing  to  them,  or  by  purchasing  their  praises. 
It  was  so  with  Shakspeare,  and  Milton,  and  Pope,  sir  ;  with  De 
foe,  Fielding  and  Smollett.  None  of  them  were  sufficiently 
reverenced  while  they  lived.  Their  thrifty  neighbors,  the 
tradesmen,  who  made  fortunes  by  their  cunning  indus 
try,  or  by  dishonest  practices,  looked  upon  those  great  immor 
tals  with  indifference  or  contempt,  and  some  of  them  suffered 
for  bread  and  raiment,  sir.  But  they  were  fools,  sir,  for  neg 
lecting  their  own  interests,  while  providing  instruction  and 
entertainment  for  future  generations,  who  have  not  the 
power  of  throwing  them  a  crust.  And  I  am  a  fool,  sir,  for  fol 
lowing  their  example  and  yours.  If  I  had  spent  my  fur 
loughs  in  Washington,  and  danced  attendance  on  the  secreta 
ry,  and  loved  all  the  dogs  who  wore  the  President's  collar,  I 

might  have  been  a  general,  sir.  But  I  would  see  them 

first,  sir  ! — but  I  am  getting  warm,  and  these  rooms  are  too 
much  crowded.  Step  aside  with  me,"  he  continued,  in  a 
lower  voice.  And,  when  they  gained  a  recess  between  two  col 
umns  that  had  been  imported  from  Greece,  he  said;  "  Pollen, 
you  have  been  insulted  to-night,  and  you  must  shoot  the  ras 
cal." 

"  I  ?  oh,  that  is  nothing.  Some  one  condemning  my  writ 
ings.  I  would  rather  be  abused  than  entirely  neglected." 


INCIDENTS   OF   THE    BALL.  307 

"  No,  sir  :  I  don't  mean  that.  Do  you  know  yonder  red- 
faced  man  entertaining  the  Babbleton  girls  ?  " 

"  Roland  ?     Yes,  I  know  him." 

"  Roland — yes,  they  said  that  was  his  name,  but  I  did  not 
recognize  the  introduction.  He  has  slandered  the  beautiful 
creature  who  was  hanging  on  your  arm." 

"  Miss  Winkle  ?  " 

"  It  must  have  been  Miss  Winkle.  I  never  saw  her  be 
fore,  but  I  knew  her  mother.  She  was  a  belle,  and  this  lady  re 
minded  me  of  her.  Well,  sir,  those  Babbleton  dunces  and  Mr. 
Roland  are  making  very  disparaging  comments  on  her  appear 
ance  and  conduct.  The  females  can  say  what  they  like  with 
impunity,  but  the  male  must  be  called  to  an  account.  I  will 
see  him  in  your  behalf.  I  will  be  your  friend,  and  we  will 
settle  the  matter  early  in  the  morning  over  in  Jersey.1' 

"  Colonel,  I  do  not  wish  to  engage  in  any  such " 

"  Pooh  !  Nonsense  !  But  here  is  Mrs.  Laurel  calling 
for  you.  Go  with  her,  and  leave  the  rest  to  me." 

"  But,  Colonel  Ball — be  sure  and  let  me  see  you  first.  " 

"  You  shall — you  shall,"  cried  the  colonel,  vanishing  in  tho 
crowd. 

u  Come,  sir  "  said  Mrs.  Laurel,  "  you  are  my  prisoner,  un 
til  I  resign  you  to  the  countess,  who  is  at  the  other  end  of 
the  saloon.  Mr.  Laurel  is  limping  about  with  Lucy  on  his 
arm,  and  will  introduce  the  earl  when  he  shows  himself.  Did 
you  smell  the  gas  in  the  hall  ?  I  know  you  did.  My  new 
man  turned  the  gas  into  the  house,  and  the  heat  up  the 
chimney  !  Mr.  Pollen,  no  one  ever  had  such  trials  and  trou 
bles  as  myself  with  servants.  And  it  does  no  good  to  dis 
charge  them  and  employ  others.  They  are  all  alike,  and  get 
spoiled  directly.  But  here  we  are.  There's  her  ladyship. 
How  fat  and  and  fair  she  is.  As  soon  as  that  party  retires  I 
will  introduce  you.  Afterwards  you  must  keep  near  enough 
to  converse  with  her  when  she  turns  her  face  towards  you. 
And  you  need  not  be  particularly  nice  in  your  words.  She  is 
merely  a  well-bred  woman,  like  millions  of  your  countrywo 
men.  She  is  perfectly  enchanted  with  Lucy  Winkle,  and 
says  she  is  the  most  beautiful  creature  she  ever  beheld." 

Upon  being  introduced  to  the  countess,  Pollen  was  charm 
ed  to  learn  that  she  had  read  some  of  his  productions  in  her 
own  country,  and  that  they  were  attracting  attention — quite 


308  THE   WINKLES. 

as  much,  and  quite  as   deservedly,  she  intimated,  as  the  writ 
ings  of  contemporary  British  poets. 

It  was  a  great  triumph  for  Pollen  to  be  so  complimented 
by  the  lioness  of  the  evening,  and  to  be  detained  at  her  side, 
while  so  many  parties  of  ladies  and  gentlemen  were  advan 
cing  to  be  presented,  and  retiring  to  make  room  for  others. 
Among  the  rest  who  merely  received  a  bow,  a  smile  and  a 
monosyllable  from  her  ladyship,  were  the  Babbleton  belles, 
who  were  led  forward  by  Roland.  They  were  amazed  at  the 
undisguised  partiality  exhibited  by  her  ladyship  for  the  con 
versation  of  Pollen. 

Passing  on,  Miss  Arum  drew  the  attention  of  Miss 
Crudle  and  of  Roland  to  the  fact,  that  Mr.  Laurel  had  taken 
Lucy  Winkle  under  his  protection,  and  seemed  to  be  introdu 
cing  all  the  young  gentlemen  who  fell  in  his  way. 

"  He  is  deceived,"  said  Miss  Arum. 

u  And  he'll  soon  find  out  his  mistake,"  said  Miss  Crudle. 

"  That  he  shall !  "  rejoined  the  other.  "  I  will  tell  Mrs. 
Laurel,  myself,  of  the  suspicious  transactions  between  her 
and  Mr.  Lowe.  I  wonder  he  ain't  here  too." 

"  I  see  him  !  "  said  Roland,  who  was  tall  as  well  as  large, 
and  could  overlook  the  company.  "  He  is  coming  this  way, 
and  seems  to  be  surrounded  by  many  acquaintances.  Sup 
pose  we  withdraw  to  the  other  end  of  the  room." 

"  Oh,  no  !  "  said  Miss  Arum,  "  I  want  to  see  how  Lucy 
Winkle  can  have  the  audacity  to  hold  up  her  head  before 
him  in  such  a  place  as  this.  " 

"  And  I  want  to  see  how  he  will  look  when  he  meets  her," 
said  Miss  Crudle.  "  And  I  am  sure  Mrs.  Laurel  must  have 
been  imposed  on,  or  she  never  would  have  invited  him." 

"  Oh,  as  for  that,  he  might  do  well  enough  for  genteel 
company,  if  he  did  not  devote  all  his  time  and  attention  to 
that  proud  piece  of  poverty." 

"  If  you  will  remain,  ladies,"  said  Roland,  "  you  must  ex 
cuse  me,  I  must  seek  the  cold  air  on  the  balcony  to  cure  a 
slight  headache — but  we  will  meet  again.  And  yonder  comes 
the  colonel.  I  do  not  like  his  looks,  and  will  avoid  him.  He 
will  stand  by  you,  if  you  seize  his  arm,  until  I  return." 

Roland  disappeared  on  the  left,  and  the  colonel  emerged 
from  the  crowd  on  the  right,  and  was  instantly  seized  by  the 
young  ladies. 

"  Pinioned,  eh  ?  "  said  he.     "  Well,  I  must  submit." 


WHO   WAS    THE    LORD  ?  309 

"  Fie,  colonel,"  said  Miss  Arum,  "  of  course  you  must 
submit,  and  you  ought  to  do  so  with  a  better  grace." 

"  I  do  believe  he  was  frowning,"  said  Miss  Crudle.  "  But 
I  will  make  him  smile.  Yonder  comes  the  gentleman,  colonel," 
she  continued,  "  who  carried  Miss  Winkle's  heart  by  storm. 
It  does  not  appear,  however,  that  there  was  a  very  desperate 
resistance." 

"  Few  could  resist  his  approaches.  I  wish  he  would  approach 
us,  and  test  the  experiment.  You  know  him  ?  " 

"  Know  him !  certainly.  Mr.  Lowe  has  been  a  resident  of 
Babbleton  for  many  months;  and  with  the  exception  of  his 
conduct  to  Lucy  Winkle " 

"  What  the  deuce  is  all  this  about  ?  I  cannot  understand 
a  word  of  it.  Mr.  Lowe — and  residing  at  Babbleton — and 
conduct  so.  Do  you  mean  that  gentleman  accosting  Mr. 
Laurel  ?  Come  nearer  that  you  may  see  more  distinctly." 

"  Certainly,"  said  the  girls.     "  That  is  Mr  Lowe " 

"  No  such  thing !  "  cried  the  colonel. 

aMy  lord,"  said  Mr.  Laurel,  "  this  is  Miss  Winkle. 
Lucy,  this  is  the  Earl  of  Hilton." 

Lucy,  pale,  but  collected — for  she  had  recently  suspected 
such  would  be  the  denouement,  and  had  resolved  to  manifest 
no  extraordinary  emotion — bowed,  without  averting  her  eyes, 
and  yet  without  seeking  a  recognition.  His  lordship,  quite  as 
pale  as  herself,  and  with  traces  of  recent  grief  upon  his  face, 
lingered  a  moment  at  her  side,  and  whispered  something  in  her 
ear,  while  the  unconscious  crowd  gazed  in  admiration.  He 
then  joined  his  mother,  who  beckoned  him  away  for  the  pur 
pose  of  introducing  the  poet. 

"  I'm  trembling  all  over,  Susan !  "  said  Miss  Arum. 

"  I'm  petrified,  Bell !  "  said  Miss  Crudle. 

"  The  deuce  you  are  1  "  said  the  colonel.  "  I  thought  you 
were  both  better  soldiers.  What !  not  stand  the  fire  of  a 
lord's  eyes,  when  you  have  been  browbeating  a  colonel,  who, 
perhaps,  killed  a  dozen  noblemen  in  the  last  war  ?  " 

"  Who  even  dreamt  such  a  thing  possible !  "  said  Bell. 

"  What's  that  you  call  him?  "  asked  the  colonel.  "  He  is 
as  fine  a  looking  fellow  as  your  husband  will  be." 

''  I  am  amazed !  "  said  Susan. 

"It  is  a  wonder  you  are  not  stricken  dumb,"  said  the 
colonel.  "  But  yonder  is  my  man,"  he  continued,  seeing 
Roland  enter  from  the  balcony.  "Sit  on  this  sofa,  ladies, 


310  THE   WINKLES. 

and  excuse  me ;  I  have  a  matter  of  the  first  importance  to 
communicate  to  a  certain  person  on  the  other  side  of  the  room." 
And  he  hurried  across. 

"  And  he's  a  lord !  "  exclaimed  Miss  Arum. 

"  The  Earl  of  Hilton !  "  said  Miss  Crudle. 

"  And  has  been  living  all  this  time  in  Babbleton,  and  we 
not  to  know,  or  to  suspect  who  he  was !  " 

"  And  to  be  suspected  of  being  a  pickpocket,  a  counter 
feiter,  a  forger !  " 

"  An  adventurer,  that  we  thought  had  deceived  Lucy 
Winkle  I " 

"  Deceitful  wretch  !  She  has  deceived  us  all !  No  doubt 
she  knew  all  about  him !  " 

"  Mr.  Roland  didn't  know  he  was  a  lord  any  more  than 
the  rest  of  us,"  said  Miss  Arum. 

"  No,  he  did  not — and  he  thought  Lucy's  conduct  very 
disgraceful.  Yonder  he  is.  Let  us  go  to  him,  and  tell  him 
what  a  ridiculous  mistake  we  have  made." 

As  they  moved  away,  they  turned  their  eyes  aside  and  dis 
covered  the  earl,  who  had  escaped  from  his  mother,  standing 
beside  Lucy  in  a  dark  recess;  and  they  had  doubtless  been 
involuntary  listeners. 

"  I  have  been  bewildered,  Lucy — perhaps  deluded  by  the 
creations  of  my  own  imagination,"  said  Lord  Hilton.  "  Oh, 
assure  me  it  has  been  so !  Lift  me  from  my  miserable  abyss, 
and  I  shall  be  truly  happy  !  " 

"  My  lord,  I  know  not  what  to  say.  I  have  not  sought 
to  plunge  you  into  an  abyss  of  misery.  I  have  not  censured 
your  conduct ;  and  mine,  I  am  sure,  has  not  merited  your 
condemnation.  If  it  has,  however,  appeared  to  be  inexplica 
ble,  it  is  because  you  did  not  seek  to  comprehend  it ;  and  it 
did  not  become  me  to  solicit  your  attention  for  the  purpose  of 
imposing  upon  your  patience  any  tedious  and  unnecessary  ex 
planations." 

u  Tedious  and  unnecessary  explanations !  Oh,  Lucy,  do, 
not  term  them  so !  You  would  not,  I  am  sure,  if  you  knew 
what  a  cloud  of  woe  a  few  words  of  thine  would  dispel  from  my 
tortured  existence." 

"  No !  I  cannot  submit  to  assume  the  abasing  attitude  of 
a  humble  petitioner  to  be  heard  in  my  own  justification. 
Words  could  be  of  no  avail,  if  my  truth  were  doubted.  Strong 
in  the  consciousness  of  my  own  innocence,  however  much  the 


THE  COUNTESS,  THE  LORD  AND  LUCY.     311 

wicked  devices  of  another  may  have  caused  my  conduct  to  ap 
pear  capricious,  or  inconsistent,  I  am  content  to  abide  the  re 
sult,  with  a  firm  reliance  upon  the  protecting  hand  of  my  Ma 
ker.  I " 

"  The  countess,  my  mother,  approaches.  It  was  the  wicked 
device  of  Roland  !  It  must  have  been  so.  I  will  believe  it. 
Oh,  to-morrow,  Lucy,  let  me " 

"  Edmund !  Ah,  Miss  Winkle !  Mr.  Pollen  informs  me 
you  have  long  known  each  other.  Perhaps  Lord  Hilton,  if  his 
abode  in  this  country  were  prolonged,  might  be  in  danger  of 
becoming  Americanized." 

"  I  would  not  unwittingly  imperil  his  safety,  madam,"  said 
Lucy.  "And  if  I  may  judge  from  the  sentiments  *  I  have 
heard  him  repeatedly  express,  I  doubt  whether  a  longer  sojourn 
among  us  would  induce  him  to  relinquish  the  franchises  of  his 
native  land." 

"  She  speaks  truly,  madam.  The  force  of  education, 
and  old  associations,  may  not  easily  be  overcome  by  the  temp 
tations  of  a  new  country,  however  attractive  they  may  be." 

"  Still,  it  does  appear  to  me  that  there  are  dangerous  at 
tractions  here.  Yet  your  old  associations  must  be  peculiarly 
strong.  Miss  Winkle  cannot  be  aware  of  the  precise  nature 
of  the  inducement  which  tempts  you  to  return  to  your  own 
country  at  this  juncture  ;  and  which  alone  could  have  induced 
me  to  cross  the  stormy  ocean  to  hasten  your  departure,  and  ac 
company  you  back." 

"  I  cannot  be  aware  of  the  particular  object  of  a  sudden 
departure,  madam,"  said  Lucy;  "but  I  may  readily  perceive 
why  one  of  his  possessions  and  prospects,  would  naturally  be 
impatient  to  realize  the  advantages  of  the  position  which  awaits 
him." 

"  Oh,  that  no  doubt  is  very  correct  in  meaning;  but  the 
1  possessions  and  prospects,'  in  his  particular  case,  I  may  say, 
since  I  understand  an  honorable  friendship  has  subsisted  be 
tween  you,  depend,  perhaps,  to  a  very  considerable  extent,  upon 
the  celerity  of  his  movements,  and  upon  the  condition  of  his 
immediate  appearance  in  England." 

"  I  hope,  my  dear  mother,"  said  his  lordship,  with  some 
thing  resembling  vexation,  "  that  my  immediate  return  cannot 
be  so  urgently  demanded  as  your  words  would  seem  to 
imply." 

"  I  am  very  sure,"  said  Lucy,  with  decided  emphasis,  "that 


312  THE   WINKLES. 

neither  my  countrymen,  nor  countrywomen  would  desire  to  in 
terpose  any  obstacles  which  might  delay  his  lordship's  return 
to  his  native  land ;  and  particularly,  if  a  longer  absence  from 
his  country  might  produce  loss  of  fortune,  or  involve  sacrifices 
of  any  other  nature." 

At  that  moment  Pollen  appeared  at  Lucy's  side,  and  tak 
ing  his  arm,  she  was  hidden  from  the  view  of  Lord  Hilton  by 
the  parties  continually  surrounding  the  noble  guest.  As  the 
poet  strode  along  muttering  his  thoughts  as  usual,  for  the  flat 
teries  of  the  countess  had  lifted  him  into  the  world  of  revery, 
he  came  in  contact  with  Roland,  who  paused  suddenly  before 
him,  but  with  his  face  the  other  way.  Roland  was  confronted 
by  Colonel  Ball,  and  Lucy  could  not  avoid  listening  to  what 
passed  between  them. 

"  Mr.  Roland,"  said  the  colonel,  "will  you  furnish  me  with 
your  address  ?  " 

"  With  great  pleasure,"  replied  Roland,  presenting  his 
card. 

"  I  presume,"  continued  the  colonel,  "  you  can  have  no  diffi 
culty  in  conjecturing  my  object  in  soliciting  your  address  ?  " 

"  To  be  frank  with  you,"  said  Roland,  "  I  am  at  a  loss  to 
know  the  nature  of  your  business,  unless  you  want  to  borrow 
money.  I  have  a  sum  in  this  city  just  now  unemployed,  and 
may  be  able  to  accommodate  you." 

The  colonel  was  silent  for  several  moments.  If  they  had  been 
in  the  street,  no  doubt,  in  the  first  fermentation  of  his  wrath, 
he  would  have  aimed  a  blow  at  the  rich  civilian.  But,  while 
he  paused  he  reflected.  The  random  shot  had  not  missed  the 
mark.  The  colonel  was  a  borrower.  His  salary  did  not  suffice 
for  his  expenses,  and  he  was  always  in  debt.  So,  suppressing 
any  remnant  of  his  first  indignation,  he  resolved,  after  the 
duel,  if  Roland  behaved  well  in  the  field,  to  cultivate  his  ac 
quaintance. 

"  No — that  is  not  it,"  he  replied.  "  It  is  quite  a  different 
matter.  I  am  the  friend  of  Mr.  Pollen." 

"  I  am  very  glad  to  hear  it,"  said  Roland.  "  I  am  likewise 
the  poet's  friend." 

"  But  you  have  insulted  him — and  he  demands  satisfaction, 
to-morrow  morning,  at  Hoboken." 

"  Insulted  him !  No,  colonel — there  is  some  mistake  in 
the  matter." 

"  Mistake?     Pooh!     Suppose  there  should  be?     Why,  it 


A    DUEL    IN    PROSPECT.  313 

can  be  explained  on  the  field.  Mistake  or  no  mistake,  there 
can  be  no  explanation  after  the  challenge,  but  with  pistol  in 
hand.  You  will  be  there,  of  course,  accompanied  by  your 
friend." 

Roland  did  not  assent.  But  the  colonel  did  not  observe 
the  negative  shake  of  his  head,  or  stay  to  hear  his  objections. 
Roland,  being  just  then  met  by  the  Babbleton  belles,  diverged 
from  the  direction  he  had  been  pursuing,  when  Pollen  and 
Lucy  were  confronted  by  the  colonel. 

"  Well  met,  well  met !  "  said  the  colonel  to  the  poet,  whose 
eye  was  in  a  '  frenzy  rolling,'  and  who  had  not  comprehended 
the  matter  at  all.  "  All  is  arranged.  A  deal  of  trouble  will 
be  saved.  Remember,  at  Hoboken.  before  sunrise.  I  will 
take  my  case  of  pistols.  Adieu  till  then." 

u  Mr.  Pollen !  "  said  Lucy,  when  the  colonel  had  dis 
appeared. 

"  Ay — I  shall  go  to  London.  The  countess  has  promised 
to  defray  the  expense." 

"  But  this  duel,  Mr.  Pollen.  Surely  you  will  not 
fight  ?  " 

u  The  English  are  generous  in  their  patronage  of  authors. 
The  countess  enumerated — but  I  have  forgotten  how  many — 
those  who  have  pensions " 

u  But  why  did  you  challenge  Mr.  Roland  ?  Oh,  beware 
of  him  !  " 

"  They  may  let  loose  the  reins  of  fancy — and  dwell  in  an 
empyreal  atmosphere,  without  racking  their  brains  in  devising 
the  ways  and  means  of  discharging  a  bootmaker's  bill." 

"  But,  Mr.  Pollen  !  "  continued  Lucy,  shaking  his  arm. 

"  Who  patronizes  authors  here  ?  Who  pays  them  pen 
sions  ?  Not  even  the  rich  publishers  !  One  of  mine  refused 
to  speak  to  me  one  day  because  my  coat  was  rent,  and  he  had 
consumed  the  profits  of  my  book.  But  I  will  abandon  the 
country  !  I  will  go  !  I  will !  "  And  releasing  himself,  he 
abandoned  his  fair  charge,  and  rushed  out  of  the  house. 

Poor  Lucy  retreated  to  the  friendly  recess  which  had  be 
fore  sheltered  her  from  the  many  oppressive  glances  of  the 
guests,  who,  however,  only  gazed  in  admiration.  Here  she 
sat  alone,  a  prey  to  many  painful  emotions.  The  poet  had 
been  attacked  by  one  of  his  fits,  and  Lowe — or  rather  the  earl 
— had  disappeared.  Roland  was  near,  and  she  was  now  quite 
unattended !  Nor  was  this  all — for  upon  looking  round,  she 
14 


314  THE   WINKLES. 

discovered  the  Arum  and  Crudle  belles  seated  within  a  few 
paces  of  her,  and  Roland  conversing  with  them.  They  were 
moreover  looking  at  her,  and  their  whispers  could  sometimes 
be  heard.  "  Patience  on  a  monument,"  and  the  "  willow  tree," 
were  jeeringly  uttered,  while  Roland,  with  his  face  averted, 
seemed  to  enjoy  the  scene. 

Mr.  Henry  Milnor,  who  had  watched  every  movement  and 
expression  of  Lucy  during  the  evening,  but  had  forborne  to 
approach,  now  joined  her,  seeing  she  was  entirely  alone.  And 
this  caused  a  sensation  in  the  breasts  of  the  Misses  Arum  and 
Crudle.  Henry  had  been  introduced  to  them  at  an  early  hour 
by  the  colonel,  whose  real  object  was  to  be  relieved  of  the  duty 
of  conducting  them  home  ;  and  they,  upon  seeing  him  approach, 
supposed  of  course  themselves  to  be  the  object  of  attraction. 
But  their  disappointment  was  apparent  in  the  vexed  expression 
of  their  lips,  when  he  bowed  slightly,  and  passed  on  to  where 
Lucy  was  sitting. 

"  Miss  Winkle,"  said  he,  manifesting  his  lively  joy  on  tak 
ing  possession  of  a  seat  at  her  side,  "  I  am  happy  to  have  an 
opportunity  of  inquiring  if  it  be  true  that  Lord  Hilton  has 
been  residing  for  months  in  your  village  ?  " 

"  It  is  true.  But  he  was  known  only  as  Mr.  Edmund 
Lowe." 

"  Mr.  Laurel  says  his  name  his  Edward  Lowe  Dale.  You 
were  acquainted  with  him?" 

«  Oh  yes." 

"  His  manners  are  fine.  He  must  have  been  an  agreeable 
acquaintance." 

"  He  was,  indeed,"  said  Lucy,  in  a  slightly  agitated  voice, 
which  Milnor  perceived,  but  did  not  suspect  the  cause  of  it. 

"  The  countess,  I  learn  from  the  British  Secretary  of  Le 
gation — the  Mr.  Ponsonby,  with  the  light  hair  and  youthful 
face,  who  was  introduced  to  you  by  Mr.  Laurel — has  arranged 
a  great  match  for  him  in  England." 

"  Indeed  !  "  said  Lucy,  throwing  off  the  listlessness  which 
had  seemed  to  oppress  her.  "  And  do  the  mothers  in  England 
arrange  such  matters  for  their  sons  ?  " 

"  Just  as  our  mothers  do  here,  by  skill,  intrigue  and  strata 
gem.  But  I  am  told  the  young  lady  she  has  chosen  is  one  of 
the  most  beautiful  heiresses  in  the  kingdom." 

"  Did  you  hear  her  name  ?     But  why  need  I  ask  ?     I  could 


PAINFUL   INTELLIGENCE.  315 

never  have  heard  it — I,  a  commoner,  as  they  call  those  who 
inherit  no  title." 

'•  But  you  have  heard  it,  or  at  least  read  it  in  the  list  of 
the  queen's  noble  ladies  of  honor.  It  is  Lady  Stuart.  And 
they  say  she  has  royal  blood  in  her  veins.  I  learn  that  the 
late  Earl  of  Hilton,  the  present  earl's  brother,  left  the  estates 
somewhat  encumbered,  and  this  marriage  is  to  repair  the 
damaged  fortunes  of  the  house.  You  seem  to  be  ill,  Miss 
Winkle.  Can  I  be  of  any  service  ?  Shall  I  seek  Mr.  Pollen 
for  you?" 

"  I  thank  you.  But  it  would  be  useless  to  seek  him.  He 
is  in  one  of  his  reveries,  and  is  in  all  probability  standing  in 
the  midst  of  the  square  in  front  of  the  house,  gazing  at  the 
stars,  and  uttering  poetical  incantations.  I  will  thank  you, 
however,  Mr.  Milnor,  to  accompany  me  home.  I  am  not  well, 
and  would  return  to  my  aunt." 

"With  the  greatest  pleasure,"  said  Henry;  "but  as  I 
might  not  be  able  to  find  your  carriage,  with  your  permission 
I  will  use  my  mother's.  She  will  remain  at  least  an  hour 
yet." 

Lucy,  without  hesitation,  accompanied  Milnor  into  the  room, 
where  the  voluble  hostess  was  expatiating  on  the  trials  and 
troubles  of  American  housekeepers,  and  dwelling  particularly 
on  the  item  of  domestics.  Roland,  seeing  the  colonel  again  ap 
proaching  from  another  direction,  and  not  desiring  to  lose  sight 
of  Lucy,  endeavored  to  keep  in  view  of  her,  but  found  it  imprac 
ticable  to  do  so,  when  she  had  taken  her  leave  of  the  countess 
and  Mrs.  Laurel,  and  passed  into  the  cloaking  room.  But, 
having  heard  her  express  a  desire  to  depart  immediately,  and 
not  doubting  she  would  fall  into  the  trap  he  had  prepared,  he 
hastened  into  the  street,  and  walked  briskly  in  the  direction 
of  Miss  Flora's  mansion. 

Lord  Hilton  had  likewise  kept  Lucy  in  view,  himself  un 
seen.  And  he  had  also  comprehended  the  intentions  of 
Roland,  and  prepared  a  counter-plot  for  him.  Two  of  the 
countess's  most  intelligent  servants,  the  coachman  and  foot 
man,  were  his  confederates.  One  of  them  was  dressed  as 
much  like  Milnor  as  possible,  and  the  other  put  on  female 
apparel,  of  the  color  and  in  imitation  of  Lucy's  dress.  This 
couple,  when  Lucy  entered  the  cloaking  room,  and  after 
Roland  had  stepped  into  the  street,  and  signalled  his  man  of 
the  approach  of  the  party,  were  directed  to  descend  the  marble 


316  THE   WINKLES. 

steps.  When  Miss  Blount's  carriage  was  called  for,  Roland's 
blue  one  drove  up  to  the  curb  with  open  door,  and  the  dis 
guised  couple  stepped  into  it.  Immediately  the  sound  of  the 
whip  was  heard,  and  the  wheels  were  in  rapid  motion. 

The  sleepy  driver  of  Flora's  carriage  had  just  been  made 
acquainted  with  the  fact  that  he  had  been  called,  when  Milnor 
and  Lucy  appeared.  But  cursing  his  unlucky  stars,  he  drove 
off  furiously,  and  was  overturned  by  coming  in  collision  with 
an  omnibus  before  proceeding  a  hundred  paces. 

Mr.  Milnor  had  no  difficulty  in  finding  his  mother's  car 
riage,  in  which  he  placed  his  charge,  and  they  were  driven 
away  slowly  and  carefully. 

Meantime  the  blue  carriage  progressed  most  gloriously  ; 
and  when  it  overtook  and  passed  Roland,  who  was  pursuing 
the  same  direction,  the  driver  signified  that  all  was  well. 

Arrived  in  front  of  the  Blount  mansion,  Roland's  driver 
descended  and  threw  open  the  door.  But  instead  of  stepping 
out,  the  couple  inside,  in  pursuance  of  their  preconcerted 
agreement,  only  snored  aloud,  and  remained  perfectly  still. 

"  Wake  up,  in  there,  if  you  please,"  said  the  driver. 

A  double  snore  was  the  answer. 

"  Hallo  !  I  say  !  Somebody  must  'ave  put  opium  in  their 
wine  !  "  said  the  driver.  "  Come,"  he  continued,  thrusting  in 
his  hand  and  shaking  one  of  his  passengers — "  this  ain't  the 
blue  chamber  in  the  Red  Anchor !  Wake  up  and  go  to  bed, 
I  say !  " 

"  Go  about  your  business,"  said  the  inside  coachman,  "  or 
I'll  tickle  your  hears/' 

"  Tickle  my  hears — and  in  that  strange  voice  !  Come, 
captain,  you'll  have  to  interpret  that  for  me.  I  can't  under 
stand  it,  no  how." 

"  I'll  hindeavor  to  do  hit,"  said  the  countess's  coachman 
descending — the  footman  in  female  apparel  still  remaining 
inside. 

"  Hindeavor  to  do  hit !  What's  that  ?  Does  it  mean  to 
hit  me  ?  " 

"  Hit  does !  "  said  the  other,  and  at  the  same  time  dealing 
a  blow  upon  the  nose  of  Roland's  man,  which  laid  him  on  his 
back.  The  victor  then,  in  obedience  to  his  instructions,  im 
mediately  detached  the  horses  from  the  carriage,  and  fastened 
them  to  a  tree  that  stood  opposite  the  house. 

"  Now  I'll  have  my  fare,"  said  Roland's  man,  recovering, 


THE   WRONG   PASSENGERS.  317 

and  regaining  his  feet,  "  if  you  are  a  poet."  He  aimed  a  blow 
at  his  antagonist,  as  he  approached  him,  which  was  easily 
parried,  for  the  countess's  men  were  both  regular  bruisers, 
having  learned  the  "noble  art  of  self-defence,"  under  the 
most  approved  instructors  at  home.  Again  Roland's  man 
was  knocked  down  ;  and  the  punishment  was  repeated  as  often 
as  he  gained  his  feet,  until  Roland  himself  appeared  on  the 
field  of  action. 

"  What  does  this  mean  ? "  demanded  he.  "  Paddy,  where 
is  the  lady  ?  " 

"  In  the  carriage,  sir.  But  I'll  never  drive  her  home 
again  if  she  has  a  poet  with  her — no,  not  for  twenty  dollars. 
I'm  whipped,  sir.  I  acknowledge  the  corn.  Afcd  I  hope  you 
are  satisfied,  Mr.  Poet." 

"  Is  she  in  the  carriage  ? "  asked  Roland,  approaching 
the  door,  where  he  could  see  the  outline  of  the  supposed  lady. 
Then  ordering  his  man  to  get  the  horses  again  and  drive  to 
the  Red  Anchor,  he  bounded  in,  but  was  prevented  from 
closing  the  door  by  the  victor  outside,  who  forcibly  held  it 
open. 

"  My  adorable  Lucy,"  said  he,  "  you  see  that  fate  has 
decreed  you  mine." 

At  one  bound  the  pretended  woman  sprang  out.  Roland 
followed  quickly.  He  seized  his  prize  —  but  with  a  well- 
aimed  blow  the  disguised  footman  laid  him  in  the  gutter 
under  the  carriage, 

"  Fury  !  Who  did  that  ?  "  exclaimed  Roland,  scrambling 
up,  and  again  approaching  the  supposed  Lucy,  who  stood 
with  his  face  averted — but  turned  when  the  pursuer  placed 
his  hand  on  him,  and  again  prostrated  the  iniquitous  plotter. 

"  Fury  !  They  are  men !  "  cried  Roland,  rising  once  more 
while  the  blood  gushed  from  his  nose.  "  Drive  away  as  soon 
as  possible,  Paddy,"  he  continued,  removing  away  himself  with 
all  the  expedition  in  his  power,  and  followed  by  the  British 
bruisers,  who  laughed  heartily  at  his  expense. 

By  the  time  Paddy  had  replaced  the  horses  and  cracked 
his  whip,  Mr.  Milnor  and  Lucy  arrived.  They  descended  at 
the  door  without  uttering  a  word,  and  when  Lucy  entered  the 
mansion,  Milnor  bowed  in  silence  to  her  low  "  good  night," 
and  despondingly  re-entered  the  coach.  During  the  passage 
from  the  Laurel  mansion,  the  young  man  had  made  a  formal 
tender  of  his  heart  and  hand ;  and  although  they  had  been 


318  THE    WINKLES. 

respectfully,  but  firmly  declined,  yet  he  felt  that  the  first  had 
been  surrendered  for  ever,  and  could  never  be  reclaimed. 
Hence  he  was  truly  disheartened. 

It  seemed  that  wherever  Lucy  appeared,  she  was  destined 
to  lead  captive  the  hearts  of  others,  without  designing  it,  or 
without  being  conscious  of  the  mischief  her  beauty  wrought ; 
and  this  was  another  source  of  unhappiness,  for  she  would  not 
have  willingly  inflicted  pain  upon  others,  however  much  they 
might  distress  her  by  a  hopeless  pursuit  of  the  love  which 
could  be  possessed  only  by  the  one  who  had  long  since  won 
her  young  and  confiding  heart. 

The  next  morning  at  early  dawn,  Colonel  Ball  was  stand 
ing  on  the  margin  of  the  river,  at  Hoboken,  with  a  pistol-case 
in  his  hand,  and  impatiently  awaiting  the  arrival  of  his  prin 
cipal,  as  well  that  of  the  opposing  party.  An  invisible  reporter 
of  the  Herald,  who  had  mysteriously  obtained  an  intimation 
of  the  nature  of  the  enterprise  in  contemplation,  watched  the 
motions  of  the  colonel,  and,  like  him,  awaited  the  arrival  upon 
the  ground  of  the  remainder  of  the  dramatis  personse. 

The  colonel  whistled,  and  stamped  to  keep  himself  warm, 
for  it  was  a  bright  frosty  morning.  He  then  measured  the 
ground  with  a  most  scrupulous  impartiality,  and  tried  both 
positions  himself,  his  fancy  supplying  the  supposed  antagonist. 

"  Why  the  deuce  don't  they  come  ?  "  he  exclaimed,  petu 
lantly,  after  making  a  careful  reconnoissance  of  the  approaches, 
which  resulted  unsatisfactorily.  He  then  placed  the  case  on 
the  ground,  and  beat  his  hand  against  his  side  to  keep  it 
warm. 

"  Will  there  be  a  duel  this  morning  ?  "  asked  the  shivering 
reporter,  unable  any  longer  to  stand  his  ground  behind  the 
tree. 

<;  Where  the  deuce  did  you  come  from  ?  "  asked  the  colonel, 
staring  in  utter  astonishment  at  the  thickly-enveloped  reporter, 
who  was  a  corpulent  Englishman,  and  professed  to  be  familiar 
with  the  duello. 

"  From  behind  that  tree,  where  I  have  been  freezing  this 
half-hour,  and  could  endure  it  no  longer." 

u  And  why  were  you  standing  there  ?  " 

"  To  witness  the  duel." 

"  You  like  the  sport  ?  " 

"  Very  much.  I  have  witnessed  twenty  in  England,  and 
reported  them  all." 


HOW   TO    GET    UP    A    DUEL.  319 

"  Reported  them  ?     Are  you  a  reporter  ?  " 

"  Yes,  colonel,  and  I  will  do  you  justice.  You  may  read 
my  account  before  it  goes  to  press." 

"  And  you  know  who  I  am  ?  " 

«  Colonel  Ball.     You  shot  Mr.  M " 

"  A  mistake,  sir.  He  shot  me  ;  and  a  d  bad  shot  it 
was,  to  aim  at  my  body  and  strike  my  leg.  But  it  seems  we 
are  not  to  be  entertained  this  morning.  I  fear  the  parties  are 
not  men  of  honor." 

"  Cowards,  perhaps." 

"  Ay,  the  same  thing.  A  man  of  honor  cannot  be  a  coward 
— a  coward  cannot  be  a  m,an  of  honor — eh  ?  " 

"  I  agree  with  you,  colonel." 

"  You  are,  no  doubt,  a  man  of  honor  ?  " 

"  I  hope  so,  colonel." 

"  We'll  see.  Both  my  man  and  the  other  principal  are 
poltroons  ;  they  will  not  be  present.  But  I  must  smell  gun 
powder,  and  you  must  fight  me."  added  the  colonel,  taking  up 
the  brace  of  pistols. 

"  I  fight  you,  colonel  ?  " 

<:  Yes,  certainly.  You  will  not  require  me  to  insult  you. 
I  never  do  that  without  very  strong  provocation.  We'll  dis 
pense  with  it,  and  just  have  a  delightful  exchange  of  shots, 
and  then  return  together  to  the  city,  on  the  most  friendly 
terms  imaginable.  I  take  it  for  granted  you  will  not  report 
the  occurrence." 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha  !    you  are  facetious,  colonel." 

"  No,  upon  my  honor !  We  shall  have  an  exchange  of 
shots,  if  I  am  a  man  of  veracity.  There,  take  your  choice," 
continued  the  colonel,  advancing  with  the  pistols,  the  muzzles 
towards  himself. 

"  You  must  excuse  me,  colonel,"  said  the  reporter,  retreat 
ing  to  the  tree.  "  I  will  not  exchange  shots  with  you." 

"  You  shall,  by  Jupiter !  Here,  I  place  this  pistol  on  the 
ground  at  the  root  of  the  tree,  and  will  step  off  ten  paces.  At 
the  word  'fire,'  either  party  is  at  liberty  to  pull  trigger." 

"  I  will  not  take  it,  Colonel  Ball.  I  will  not  exchange 
shots  with  you.  We  have  no  quarrel." 

"  Oh,  are  you  waiting  for  that  ?  I  thought  an  insult 
might  be  dispensed  with  between  gentlemen.  Well,  you  are 
a  coward.  Now,  if  you  will  not  fire,  according  to  your  own 
admission,  you  cannot  be  a  man  of  honor." 


320  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I  will  not  exchange  shots  with  you." 

"  Nonsense  !  You  must  have  something  to  report.  Take 
up  the  pistol,  and  be  ready.  At  the  word  I  shall  fire.  One 
— two — three — Fire  !  "  But  the  colonel  did  not  fire.  The 
reporter  vanished  behind  the  tree,  and  there  was  no  mark  to 
shoot  at. 

The  colonel  walked  round  at  a  quick  step.  The  reporter 
peeped  from  behind,  without  exposing  his  head,  and  merely 
far  enough  to  see  the  colonel's  heel,  as  it  was  lifted  up  in  the 
pursuit.  Round  and  round  they  continued  to  go,  the  distance 
never  diminishing  between  them  ;  but  as  the  colonel's  round 
was  much  the  greatest  in  circumference,  it  might  be  supposed 
he  was  the  most  violently  exercised.  It  was  not  so,  however. 
For  the  roots  of  the  great  tree  ran  out  in  all  directions,  and  it 
required  a  considerable  degree  of  activity  to  pass  them  without 
stumbling,  and  such  an  accident  might  have  been  attended 
with  unpleasant  consequences.  Besides,  as  it  has  been  inti 
mated,  the  reporter  was  quite  fat  and  large,  and  it  was  requi 
site  to  use  every  precaution  to  keep  his  body  covered  by  the 
trunk  of  the  tree,  for  the  colonel  was  a  famous  shot.  The  re 
porter  therefore  was  compelled  to  maintain  nearly  a  horizontal 
position,  with  his  eye  upon  the  colonel's  heel,  and  his  face  out 
of  the  pistol's  range  ;  and  his  motion  was  required  to  be  regular 
and  incessant,  so  as  not  to  leave  his  rear  uncovered. 

They  continued  to  wind  round  the  tree  in  this  manner 
until  the  sun  had  risen.  Neither  of  them  now  were  conscious 
of  the  frosty  atmosphere.  The  reporter  panted,  and  his 
smoking  breath  was  expelled  in  great  clouds.  The  colonel 
turned  red  in  the  temples  and  behind  the  ears.  Evidently  the 
contest  was  approaching  a  termination,  although  no  blood  had 
yet  been  spilled.  At  length  a  small  part  of  the  reporter's 
coat  tail,  which  the  colonel  had  hitherto  seen  but  once  or 
twice,  became  steadily  visible,  and  seemed  to  grow  larger. 
The  colonel  fired,  and  a  button  fell.  Pie  then  paused,  and 
placing  the  pistol  under  the  stump  of  his  amputated  arm,  very 
deliberately  began  to  re-charge  it. 

"  Now  I  have  you  !  "  cried  the  reporter,  seizing  the  other 
pistol,  which  still  lay  near  the  root  of  the  tree,  and  advancing 
a  pace  or  two  towards  his  antagonist.  "  It  is  my  turn,  now  !  " 
he  continued,  levelling  the  weapon,  and  aiming  at  the  colonel's 
breast. 

"  Fire  away  !  "  said  the  colonel.     "  The  next  shot  is  yours, 


THE    REPORTER    MAGNANIMOUS. 

by  all  the  rules.  But  if  you  hit  the  mark,  be  sure  and  reDort 
it  correctly.  Remember  that.  And  be  quick  about  it,  or  I 
shall  soon  be  ready  for  another  chance." 

The  reporter,  seeing  that  the  colonel  was  ramming  down 
another  bullet,  and  believing  the  matter,  if  carried  any  further, 
might  not  result  without  injury,  fired  his  pistol  in  the  air,  and 
advanced  with  his  hand  extended,  which  the  colonel  could  not 
avoid  receiving. 

"  Very  well !  "  said  the  colonel;  "I  cannot  decline  your 
hand  after  sparing  my  life.  We  will  return  and  drink  a  bottle 
together.  But  be  sure  and  show  me  your  notes  before  you 
go  to  press." 

The  reporter  repeated  the  assurance  that  he  would  do  so, 
and  also  pledged  himself  never  again  to  volunteer  his  services 
on  a  similar  occasion. 

After  a  hearty  breakfast  with  the  reporter,  at  one  of  the 
restaurants,  the  colonel  sought  his  principal  at  the  office  of 

the ,  where  he  was  known  to  have  been  employed  in  the 

capacity  of  an  assistant  editor.  He  was  not  at  the  office  ;  but 
the  chief  editor  was  there,  and  with  whom  the  colonel  was 
very  well  acquainted. 

"  I  am  here  to  see  Mr.  Pollen,"  said  the  colonel. 

"  I  am  sorry  he  is  not  in,  colonel,"  said  the  editor. 

"  So  am  I.     But  perhaps  you  will  indorse  him." 

"  I  suppose  so.  I  see  whatever  he  writes  before  it  is 
printed,  and  I  must  be  responsible  for  it." 

"  I  don't  mean  that !  "  said  the  colonel. 

"  Oh,  I  think  I  know  what  you  mean.  His  debts !  I  pay 
him  a  salary,  which  he  disburses  as  he  pleases,  and  I  cannot 
assume  his  liabilities." 

"  I  don't  mean  that,  either/'  said  the  colonel.  "  I  was  his 
friend,  and  arranged  a  hostile  meeting  for  him.  He  was 
not  present  at  the  time  and  place  appointed,  and  he  must 
answer  it ! " 

"Is  it  possible?  Why  Pollen,  surely,  never  challenged 
any  one  to  mortal  combat !  I  am  astonished  to  hear  you  say 
so,  colonel.  But  if  he  did — that  is,  if  there  has  been  no  mis 
understanding  on  your  part — rely  upon  it,  he  is  innocent  of 
any  intention  to  practise  the  deception  you  complain  of.  You 
may  be  assured  the  whole  matter  escaped  his  memory ;  and 
ten  to  one,  if  he  were  to-day  to  meet  the  person  who  insulted 
him,  he  would  not  recollect  it ;  unless,  indeed,  the  offence  was 

14* 


322  THE   WINKLES. 

a  stricture  on  his  literary  merits,  and  then  he  would  neither 
forget  nor  forgive  him." 

"  No  ;  it  was  some  disparagement  of  a  young  lady  he  at 
tended  at  Mrs.  Laurel's  party." 

'•  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  Pollen  fighting  about  a  young  lady  !  The 
whole  thing  is  a  misconstruction,  colonel.  Pollen  never  takes 
any  interest  in  the  ladies.  I  suppose  he  would  not  permit  any 
one  under  his  charge  to  be  insulted,  but  he  would  not  seriously 
challenge  a  man  to  mortal  combat  for  words  lightly  spoken. 
Come  with  me.  We  will  find  him,  and  hear  what  he  has  to 
say  in  relation  to  the  matter.  Ten  to  one  he  has  forgotten  all 
about  it,"  and  such  truly,  was  the  case. 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

ROMANTIC  RECONCILIATION  OF  THE  LOVEKS. 

ALTHOUGH  Lucy  was  sensible  of  a  painful  dejection  following 
the  events  in  the  saloons  of  Mrs.  Laurel,  yet  her  forebodings 
were  not  unmixed  with  a  melancholy  pleasure,  when  she  re 
membered  the  pleading  looks  and  eloquent  words  of  her  lover. 
Filial  duty,  interest,  even  a  prior  engagement,  might  separate 
them  in  future ;  but  there  could  be  no  doubt  he  truly  loved 
her — that  no  one  else  could  ever  inspire  a  more  ardent  affec 
tion  in  his  breast  than  she  had  done.  He  might  go  beyond 
the  broad  ocean,  never  to  return ;  he  might  glitter  as  an  orna 
ment  in  the  lofty  circles  of  the  aristocracy,  to  which  he  be 
longed  ;  and  he  might  have  in  his  train  the  high-born  Lady 
Stuart,  and  be  the  lord  of  her  vast  possessions ;  yet,  something 
within  assured  Lucy  he  could  never  forget  her — he  could 
never  cease  to  dwell  upon  her  memory  with  sad  regret. 

And,  however  singular  it  may  appear  to  the  uninitiated, 
yet  such  reflections,  even  when  the  object  which  inspires 
them  is  lost  beyond  the  hope  of  recovery,  are  fraught  with 
soothing  consolations,  more  potent  in  enabling  the  sex  to  bear 
the  most  dreadful  of  all  deprivations,  than  any  other  equiva 
lents  the  world  can  offer.  It  is  the  conviction  that  they  have 
been  appreciated,  though  not  possessed  j  the  knowledge  that 


A    DISCUSSION. 

their  loss  will  be  lamented,  after  they  have  been  cast  away. 
Such  is  woman ! 

Lucy  never  slept  more  sweetly,  nor  dreamt  more  delight 
fully,  than  on  the  night  she  returned  from  the  Laurel  man 
sion.  And  the  next  morning  she  arose  quite  refreshed,  with 
cheeks  nearly  as  roseate  as  usual,  and  with  spirits  no  longer 
desponding ;  for  she  knew  that  if  it  was  the  decree  of  fortune 
she  should  be  separated  from  her  exalted  lover — but  whom 
she  was  proud  to  have  loved  as  the  untitled  Mr.  Lowe — the 
pang  of  parting  must  be  reciprocal. 

"  I  hope  you  are  better  this  morning,  dear  aunt,"  said 
Lucy,  the  next  day,  when  she  entered  Miss  Flora's  chamber. 

"  A  great  deal.  The  doctor  understands  my  system,  and 
his  remedies  never  fail.  You  must  sen.d  for  Dr.  McGab— 
but,  really,  Lucy !  "  continued  her  aunt,  gazing  at  her  niece, 
"you  look  as  well  as  ever  you  did." 

"  I  am  quite  well  this  morning,  aunt." 

'•'  I  was  fearful  the  excitement  last  night  would  unstring 
your  nerves.  They  must  be  better  than  mine.  You  are 
stronger  than  I  was  at  your  age.  But  tell  me  the  news.  Was 
Roland  there  ?  " 

"  He  was." 

"  How  did  Pollen  conduct  himself?  " 

"  He  is  now  the  favorite  of  the  countess,  and  you  must 
not  expect  him  longer  to  dance  attendance  here." 

'•'  I  am  sure  it  was  only  pity  for  his  distresses  that  I  felt 
for  him.  If  there  is  to  be  no  more  distress,  there  need  be  no 
more  pity.  But  instead  of  using  the  money  I  gave  him  in  the 
way  he  promised,  I  learn  from  his  tailor  he  paid  it  to  him, 
and  the  bill  is  not  yet  quite  settled  in  full.  I  will  pay  it, 
however.  How  did  the  countess  look  ?  " 

"  Fresh  and  blooming  as  yourself,  dear  aunt." 

"  As  myself!  But  they  say  there  is  really  some  resem 
blance  between  us.  And  the  earl  ?  " 

"  You  mean  Mr.  Lowe  ?  " 

" No— the  Lord  Hilton." 

"  You  know  him  very  well ;  the  earl  was  Mr.  Lowe. 
You  have  often  entertained  his  lordship  under  your  roof." 

"  Lucy !  is  that  so  ? "  exclaimed  Flora,  with  much  ani 
mation. 

"  It  is,  indeed,  aunt ;  and  for  several  days  I  had  suspected 
as  much." 


324  THE    WINKLES. 

"  What  a  romance  !  I  am  quite  well  now,  Lucy !  He 
spoke  to  you,  of  course  ?  " 

"  Of  course,  aunt,  and  begged  me  to  forgive  him." 

"  And  you  did  ?  " 

"  I  did  not !  That  is,  I  expressed  myself  precisely  as  I 
should  have  done  to  Mr.  Lowe." 

"  Brave  girl !  But  I  hope  the  difference  is  not  irrecon 
cilable.  Yet  you  did  well.  A  too  easy  yielding  often  ruins 
a  girl's  power  over  the  sterner  sex.  The  gratification  of  re 
pulsing  a  lord,  must  be  nearly  as  great  as  marrying  one  !  The 

greatest  triumph  I  ever  enjoyed,  was  the  rejection  of ; 

who,  you  know,  became  an  ambassador.  But  I  knew  he 
merely  wanted  my  little  fortune.  Lord  Hilton !  And  he 
won  your  little  heart  as  the  simple  Mr.  Lowe  !  " 

"  I  fancy,  aunt,"  replied  Lucy,  ''  he  lost  quite  as  much  as 
he  won  ! " 

u  Oh,  it  is  a  game  at  which  two  can  play  !  Such  a  ro 
mance  !  I  had  a  presentiment  of  something  of  the  sort,  when 
I  received  your  letter  from  Babbleton.  I  am  perfectly  well, 
Lucy.  Some  one  rings.  How  late  it  is.  I  will  be  down  in 
a  few  minutes.  Who  is  it  ?  "  she  continued,  to  the  servant. 
"  A  note  ?  For  you,  Lucy,  Read  it." 

It  was  from  Lord  Hilton,  urgently  begging  a  brief  inter 
view  on  a  matter  of  the  utmost  importance.  But  the  signa 
ture  was  "  Edmund." 

"  I  think  I  would  deny  him,  Lucy,"  said  Miss  Flora.  "It 
will  increase  his  eagerness.  Never  fear  but  he  will  persist 
until  he  accomplishes  his  purpose.  I  know  the  men  !  "  And 
yet  she  never  secured  one  herself,  with  all  her  knowledge. 
Whether  or  not  that  fact  had  any  influence  in  the  decision  of 
Lucy,  she  told  the  servant  to  say  she  would  attend  the  gen 
tleman. 

A  few  minutes  after,  Lucy  entered  the  parlor.  She  was 
struck  with  the  mournful  expression  of  Lord  Hilton's  counte 
nance,  and  immediately  changed  her  purpose  of  maintaining  a 
cold  and  resentful  demeanor. 

"  Lucy,"  said  he,  taking  her  unresisting  hand,  and  leading 
her  to  a  seat,  "  I  beg  you  will  hear  me  patiently  before  you 
reply.  It  is  my  duty  to  ask  forgiveness,  and  to  utter  expla 
nations.  All  I  crave  is  to  be  heard,  and  to  be  judged  accord 
ing  to  the  dictates  of  your  heart." 


EXPLANATIONS.  325 

"  Gro  on,  sir,  if  you  please.  But  there  is  nothing  to  forgive. 
I  have  not  censured  you." 

"  But  /  was  not  so  forbearing.  It  was  my  duty  to  ascer 
tain,  beyond  the  possibility  of  doubt,  and  by  other  means  than 
those  at  first  adopted,  if  there  were  any  just  grounds  for  the 
suspicion — and  it  pains  me  to  repeat  it — that  I  was  made  the 
victim  of  a  duplicity,  a  capricious  deception — so  inconsistent 
with  your  nature — so  different  from  all  the  former  actions  of 
your  life " 

"  You  will  oblige  me,"  said  Lucy,  "  by  putting  a  period 
to  these  self-reproaches." 

"  They  are  merited ;  for  my  obtuseness  and  stupidity  were 
unparalleled.  I  should  have  known,  after  the  vile  attempt  of 
Roland  on  that  memorable  night,  that  he  was  capable  of  any 
device — apt  to  perpetrate  any  scheme,  to  destroy  the  character 
of  the  one  who  indignantly  rejected  his  offers ;  or  to  be  insidi 
ously  revenged  on  the  one  who  had  defied  his  prowess  in  open 
day." 

"  Do  you  know  it  now  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  I  do.  And  I  came  hither  to  relate  the  manner  of  the 
discovery."  He  then  described  the  occurrence  of  the  pre 
ceding  evening,  and  told  her  he  had  employed  similar  agents 
to  those  which  had  been  used  by  Roland,  to  watch  his  move 
ments,  and  to  obtain  information  from  the  villain's  creatures. 

Lucy,  though  surprised,  betrayed  no  emotion.  Conscious 
of  her  own  rectitude,  she  never  yielded  to  the  apprehension 
that  she  might  be  seriously  involved  in  the  machinations  of 
others. 

"  And  now,"  continued  his  lordship,  "  can  you  forgive 
me?" 

"  Most  certainly,"  said  Lucy.  "  Be  assured  that  I  do  not 
harbor  a  particle  of  resentment." 

"  Oh,  then,"  cried  he,  seizing  her  hand,  "  I  shall  be  the 
happiest  of  mortals  !  " 

"  I  hope  so,  sir,"  said  she,  withdrawing  her  hand,  and 
rising.  "  I  am  sure  the  knowledge  that  Lord  Hilton  is  happy, 
after  all  the  privations  he  endured  in  a  foreign  land^will  be 
an  agreeable  reflection  to  his  friends,  who  kneijf  him  in  his 
exile ;  and  none  will  rejoice  more  heartily  than  myself — for  I 
was  his  sincere  friend  and " 

"  Lucy,  do  not  torture  me  thus  !  "  said  his  lordship,  de 
taining  her.  "  Oh,  believe  me,  when  I  declare  that  without 


326  THE    WINKLES. 

you,  I  should  be  the  most  miserable  creature  in  the  world 
You  say  I  am  forgiven.  Why,  then,  should  you  desire  to 
avoid  the  consummation  of  the  promise  you  made  me  ?  Why 
seek  to  be  estranged  from  the  one,  who,  enveloped  in  mystery, 
you  admitted  had  some  share  in  your  affections — and  who 
now  declares,  when  the  cloud  of  uncertainty  is  dispelled,  that 
his  whole  heart  is  yours,  and  that  his  happiness  in  this  world 
depends  upon  an  indissoluble  union  with  you.  You  knew  I 
was  a  native  of  a  distant  land,  and  that  I  never  sought  to 
become  a  citizen  of  your  country.  That  much  I  resolved  to 
disclose,  that  you  might  not  upbraid  me  for  a  disingenuous- 
ness  I  was  incapable  of  perpetrating." 

"  My  lord " 

"  Oh,  do  not  address  me  thus !  " 

"  Then,  Edmund,  be  assured  I  am  not  offended.  Believe 
that  my  regard  for  you,  frankly  admitted  when  I  did  not  know 
the  rank  you  were  destined  to  hold,  is  not  diminished " 

"  Noble,  generous  Lucy ! "  exclaimed  he,  pressing  her  to 
his  heart. 

"  Have  pity,  Edmund,"  said  she,  escaping  from  him,  and 
resuming  her  chair.  "  Let  us  realize  the  thought,  that  in  all 
probability  we  are  doomed  soon  to  part,  probably  to  meet  no 
more." 

"  No !  no  I  The  power  does  not  exist  which  can  sepa 
rate  us." 

"  Reason  will  resume  its  sway.  I  have  learned  from 
others — and  without  a  resort  to  interrogation — that  another 
claims  you — a  relation  of  your  own,  and  in  your  own  country, 
One  who  is  able  to  repair  the  injury  wrought  on  your  heredi 

tary  possessions  by  the  improvidence  of  the  late  earl and 

one  who  has  the  approbation  of  the  countess " 

"  Lucy  !  Let  me  explain  it.  It  is  true  my  mother  would 
have  me  espouse  the  Lady  Stuart.  But,  even  if  I  had  never 
met  with  you,  I  would  not  comply  with  my  mother's  wishes. 
Our  estates  are  contiguous,  but  our  hearts  are  wide  asunder. 
And  Lady  Stuart  is  my  senior  in  years,  and  would  not  deny 
that  her  heart  has  been  lavished  on  another.  Enough  of  her. 
But  I  have  letters  from  my  steward,  stating  that  the  heaviest 
claims  against  my  deceased  brother's  estate,  and  which  I  had 
agreed  to  discharge,  have  been  ascertained  to  be  fraudulent, 
and  there  is  no  obligation,  legal  or  moral,  to  pay  them.  My 
clear  rental  will  be  amply  sufficient  for  any  elegance  and 


THE    ENGAGEMENT.  327 

comfort  one  should  desire — and  particularly  one  who  has 
studied  so  many  lessons  of  economy  in  this  great  country — 
and  if  enough  for  your  comfort  and  elegance,  you  alone,  would 
suffice  for  my  happiness." 

"  This  is  rhapsody — reality  must  follow.  The  wife  of 
Lord  Hilton  should  be  of  noble  descent,  or  else  she  should 
not  dwell  in  a  land  of  hereditary  titles." 

"  Not  so.  In  England  the  wife  shares  the  husband's  sta 
tion,  and  is  elevated  to  his  rank  by  law  and  custom.  In 
America  the  lord  becomes  a  citizen.  Such  is  the  operation 
of  both  governments.  Mine  is  the  most  liberal  and  generous, 
and  hence  we  should  prefer  it.  You  will  agree  with  me, 
my  adorable  girl?  Let  your  brother  exult  in  his  native 
Americanism.  He  is  right.  Were  I  not  debarred  by  birth, 
I  would  be  of  his  party.  Nor  would  I  deprive  his  country 
of  a  vote  or  a  soldier.  But  politics,  in  your  glorious  Re 
public,  cannot  be  made  to  mingle  with  matrimony.  If  your 
foreign  husband  dwelt  in  America,  it  might  be  different — it 
might  seem  like  a  proscription  of  the  natives.  But  who 
would  censure  your  brother  if  he  were  to  wed  a  foreign  lady? 
She  could  exercise  no " 

"  You  are  talking  politics,"  said  Lucy,  smiling. 

"  And  you  have  no  political  objections  !  Forgive  me ;  but 
I  apprehend  some  obstacles  from  your  brother." 

"  My  brother  knows  my  utter  aversion  to  polities,"  con 
tinued  Lucy,  "  and  will  not  be  likely  to  attempt  an  inter 
ference  on  such  grounds.  But,  still,  there  would  be  difficulties. 
My  mother ' 

"  Shall  go  with  us." 

"  She  would  not  leave  her  old  mansion  to  reside  in 
Buckingham  palace." 

"  Then  we  will  come  to  her  once  every  year,  instead  of 
economizing  on  the  continent.  I  will  come  hither,  and  learn 
more  and  more  of  your  institutions.  And  when  I  return  to 
my  place  in  the  House  of  Lords,  I  will  be  the  better  able  to 
repel  the  calumnies  of  our  slanderous  scribblers.  For  the 
last  few  centuries  Great  Britain  has  culminated  above  all  the 
empires  that  preceded  her ;  but  she  is,  I  think,  to  be  succeed 
ed  and  surpassed  by  her  Transatlantic  offspring.  But 
Americans  must  rule  America,  as  the  British  have  ruled 
Great  Britain. 

"  Are  you  not  talking  politics  again  ?  "  asked  Lucy,  archly. 


328  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Perhaps  you  would  demonstrate  the  point  that  a  British 
lord  might,  however,  govern  an  American  lady?  " 

"  By  no  means  !  "  said  his  lordship,  taking  her  unresisting 
hand — «  for  a  lady  governs  all  the  lords  of  Great  Britain." 

The  conversation  was  interrupted  by  the  entrance  of  Miss 
Flora  Blount,  radiant  with  smiles. 

"  I  have  learned  all  about  your  romantic  disguises,"  said 
she. 

"  Not  all  of  them,  aunt,"  said  Lucy.  She  then  related 
the  account  of  the  chastisement  of  Roland  by  the  countess's 
coachman  and  footman. 

"  That  was  well  done,"  said  Flora,  "  and  the  punishment 
merited."  She  then  launched  on  the  ocean  of  romance,  enu 
merating  many  instances  of  lords  dwelling  in  foreign  lands, 
under  assumed  names,  and  concluded  by  intimating  to  Lord 
Hilton  that  she  should  not  be  surprised  if  he  were  to  be  made 
one  of  the  heroes  of  a  novel. 

His  lordship  admitted  the  possibility  of  such  a  thing; 
and  said  he  ought  not  be  astonished  at  it,  inasmuch  as  the 
affair  of  the  disguised  footman  and  coachman  with  Roland 
had  been  faithfully  chronicled.  He  then  exhibited  a  morning 
paper  containing  an  elaborate  version  of  the  occurrence ;  and 
while  Miss  Blount  was  striving  to  read  it  without  her  specta 
cles,  and  entirely  unconscious  of  the  fact,  that  the  sheet  was 
upside  down  in  her  hands,  his  lordship  bowed,  and  withdrew 
with  an  elastic  step  and  happy  countenance. 

During  the  day,  the  countess  and  Mrs.  Laurel  called  to 
inquire  after  the  health  of  Miss  Blount ;  and  both  were  ex 
ceedingly  complimentary  on  the  improved  appearance  of 
Lucy,  who  had  been  less  vivacious  than  usual  the  evening 
before.  She  did  not  explain  the  cause  of  the  change — but 
from  certain  phrases  made  use  of  by  the  visitors,  it  might 
have  been  inferred — and  which  was  really  the  case — that 
Lord  Hilton  had  communicated  something  of  a  peremptory 
character  to  his  mother. 

The  ladies  had  just  risen  to  depart  when  Col.  Ball  was 
announced.  When  the  door  closed  after  them,  the  colonel 
said  his  object  was  to  ascertain  the  place  where  he  would  be 
likely  to  meet  the  poet. 

"  Bless  your  life,  colonel,"  said  Miss  Flora,  "  I  was  about 
to  ask  you  the  same  question.  Until  to-day,  I  could  always 


A    MILITARY    SUITOR.  329 

rely  upon  seeing  him  here.  But  the  countess  has  captured 
him,  and  I  must  relinquish  my  claims." 

"  He  was  not  worth  retaining,  madam,"  said  the  colonel. 
He  then  detailed  the  inexcusable  pusillanimity  of  his  conduct, 
and  gave  the  particulars  of  his  wild-goose  chase,  as  he  called 
it,  to  Hoboken  ;  and  amused  Lucy  with  his  description  of  the 
encounter  with  the  reporter. 

"  And  it  was  all  on  your  account,  miss,"  added  the  colonel. 

"  I  am  much  indebted  to  you,  colonel." 

"  That's  nothing.  I  am  indebted  to  at  least  fifty.  But 
those  pranksome  girls — the  Babbleton  heiresses  at  our  board 
ing  house — have  been  telling  me  that  this  sprig  of  nobility — 
his  father  was  a  brave  man,  and  was  killed  magnificently  in 
battle — this  son  of  the  laughing  countess,  has  been  stealing 
away  the  hearts  of  our  American  girls,  and  that,  too,  under 
false  colors." 

"  Did  they  tell  you  that  ?  " 

"  Something  of  the  sort.  But  they  have  changed  their 
tune  since  Roland  had  his  drubbing,  which  I  will  tell  you 
about  another  time,  and  they  declare  you  are  worthy  of  a 
prince." 

u  I  am  much  obliged  to  them." 

"  I  doubt  it.  They  regret,  I  am  sure,  the  Earl  did  not 
lay  siege  to  their  own  slightly  defended  hearts — or  that  they 
did  not  ambush  for  his." 

"  That  is  unkind,  colonel." 

"  No.  It  is  the  truth.  But,  since  I  was  the  friend  of 
your  craven  protector  last  night,  and  was  ready  to  stand  in  his 
place  this  morning ;  and  since  this  disguised  stranger  turns 
out  to  be  a  great  lord,  who  will  no  doubt  desert  you — hang  me, 
if  an  old  soldier  can  avail  any  thing,  and  you  will  accept  his 
remaining  hand " 

"  Colonel  Ball !     What  are  you  driving  at?  ' 

"  What  am  I  driving  at  ?  I  am  aiming  point-blank  at 
matrimony,  rather  than  see  such  a  splendid  girl  go  unwedded. 
What  say  you  to  my  summons?  " 

"  I  must  decline — but  I  thank  you." 

"  If  you  decline,  I  will  not  attempt  a  storm — or  tempt  one, 
rather ;  for  if  you  were  to  comply,  I  should  be  the  prisoner. 
Well,  I  have  discharged  my  duty,  both  here  and  in  the  field. 
Farewell."  And  before  the  ladies  had  time  to  perceive  that 
the  old  warrior  was  quite  serious  in  his  proposition,  he  had 


330  THE   WINKLES. 

vanished.     But,  nevertheless,  their  laughter  could  not  be  re 
strained. 

The  Blount  mansion  now  became  a  very  fashionable  resort. 
The  old  walls,  ceilings,  fireplaces,  and  furniture  were  tolerated 
without  a  depreciating  comment,  after  it  was  ascertained  that 
the  earl  and  the  countess  were  frequent  visitors;  and  that 
Mrs.  Laurel  had  substituted  wax  candles  in  her  parlors,  for 
jets  of  gas. 

Roland  had  left  the  city  in  discomfiture  and  disgrace,  and 
his  blue  carriage  no  longer  impudently  waited  to  entrap  his 
victims.  Even  Bell  Arum  and  Susan  Crudle,  wrote  polite 
notes  to  Lucy  Winkle,  protesting  that  they  had  been  misled 
and  deceived  by  the  wicked  misrepresentations  of  Roland,  and 
beseeching  their  old  schoolmate  and  neighbor  to  forgive  them. 
Lucy  did  so  without  hesitation,  and  invited  them  to  her  aunt's 
mansion.  It  was  a  most  unaccountable  thing  to  Lucy  that 
they  had  escaped  the  evil  devices  of  Roland ;  or  rather  that 
he  formed  no  designs  against  them.  But  they  had  never  en 
tertained  any  apprehensions ;  and  if  he  had  proposed  matri 
mony,  they  were  both  in  readiness  to  accept  him. 

Admitted  to  the  Blount  mansion,  Bell  and  Susan  immedi 
ately  cut  the  acquaintance  of  their  boarding-house  associates. 
The  music  teacher,  the  dry  goods  clerk,  and  the  horticulturist 
were  dismissed.  Henceforth  their  company  was  to  be  com 
prised  of  the  real  aristocracy.  And  by  some  means  which 
was  never  explained,  George  Parke  had  obtained  an  intimation 
that  his  presence  in  the  city  would  be  agreeable  to  certain 

young  ladies  at  No.  — ,  square ;  and  as  it  was  vacation, 

he  repaired  thither,  and  became  an  occasional  attendant  at  the 
various  places  of  amusement.  Poor  fellow  !  He  too  had  in 
tended  to  propose  to  Lucy,  when  informed  by  Miss  Crudle 
that  she  was  already  engaged.  But  as  he  really  admired  her, 
he  found  some  satisfaction  in  occasionally  gaining  access  to 
her  presence  in  company  with  the  belles,  for  whom  he  found  it 
impossible  to  entertain  any  other  than  feelings  of  friendly  in 
difference.  From  New  York  he  ultimately  wandered  over  to 
Philadelphia,  where  he  became  seriously  fascinated  with  Julia 
Nitre. 

Lord  Hilton  having  resisted  the  entreaties  of  his  mother 
in  behalf  of  Lady  Stuart,  their  departure  from  the  United 
States  was  indefinitely  postponed.  They  were  the  objects  of 
so  many  flattering  attentions  on  the  part  of  the  republican 


WALTER   AT    WASHINGTON.  331 

aristocracy  of  the  great  metropolis,  that  they  were  induced  to 
pass  the  winter  among  them. 

About  this  time  all  Babbleton  was  in  a  state  of  excessive 
agitation.  Bell  and  Sue  were  writing  home  lengthy  letters 
every  day.  Lucy  Winkle  was  to  be  married  to  an  earl !  The 
countess,  his  mother,  would  certainly  be  in  Babbleton — and 
they  would  all  be  the  guests  of  the  Widow  Winkle !  No 
doubt  the  money  with  which  the  widow's  house  had  been  pur 
chased,  was  furnished  by  his  lordship !  The  widow's  house 
was  now  beset  with  friendly  visitors,  whilst  Mrs.  Grriselda 
ceased  to  be  tolerated  by  the  quality  of  the  village.  And  in 
revenge  for  this  she  staid  at  home  and  tormented  her  prisoner. 
But  Patty  O'Pan  appeared  no  more  in  her  Arum  and  Crudle 
costume,  and  her  offence  was  forgotten. 


CHAPTEK  XXIX. 

WALTER  GOES  TO  WASHINGTON— OFFICE-HUNTING— TIPPING. 

WHEN  Walter  had  taken  leave  of  his  Aunt  Wilsome,  carelessly 
placing  the  check  she  gave  him  in  an  outside  pocket  of  his 
overcoat,  he  hastened  to  the  hotel  to  join  Mr.  Plastic,  the 
member  of  Congress  from  his  district,  with  whom  he  was  to 
proceed  to  Washington. 

Mr.  Plastic,  like  many  other  members  newly  elected,  or 
just  re-elected,  without  having  been  blessed  with  an  inordi 
nate  share  of  intellect,  and  without  having  acquired  a  greater 
amount  of  information  than  a  majority  of  his  contemporaries, 
was  nevertheless  oppressed  with  a  superabundance  of  vanity, 
and  was  known  by  his  most  intimate  acquaintances  to  be  an 
egregious  egotist.  But  among  strangers,  in  the  reading  rooms 
and  parlors  of  the  hotels,  he  could  pass  for  a  great  man ;  and 
he  was  gratified  to  overhear  the  waiters  and  porters  say,  "  he's 
a  member  of  Congress ;  "  and  to  observe  the  guests  turn  and 
look  at  him,  as  he  promenaded  between  the  bar  and  the  hall 
door.  Without  any  other  qualifications  than  an  exceedingly 
numerous  and  influential  connection,  and  a  vast  amount  of 
wealth,  Mr.  Plastic  had  been  lifted  from  obscurity  by  Walter's 
father,  and  by  his  means  was  nominated  and  elected  to  the 


332  THE    WINKLES. 

legislature ;  and  after  Mr.  Winkle's  death  he  had  succeeded 
him  in  Congress. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Plastic,"  said  Walter,  when  they  were  seated 
in  the  car,  "  I  suppose  my  case  will  soon  be  decided.  I  am  a 
novice,  however,  and  it  may  be  well  to  have  an  interview  with 
Mrs.  Honoria  F.,  before  we  proceed  farther." 

"  Leave  it  to  me.  I  will  see  the  President  immediately 
after  our  arrival.  Mrs.  Fimblc,  I  know,  has  some  influence." 

u  And  that  may  be  obtained,  I  suppose?  " 

';  You  arc  a  wild  fellow  !  But  take  care  you  do  not  let 
any  of  your  light  remarks  reach  her  ears.  In  Washington 
every  word  spoken  is  heard,  and  if  it  can  be  used  to  injure 
any  one  it  will  be  repeated.  Mrs.  F.  is  thought  to  be  poten 
tial  at  Washington,  both  in  the  executive  departments,  and  in 
the  lobbies,  library,  and  committee  rooms  of  the  capitol.  But 
the  President  will  see  me.  I  have  been  freshly  indorsed  by 
my  people,  and  he  will  congratulate  me  on  my  victory  over 
Roland.  We  must  speak  lower.  They  are  staring  at  me." 

At  the  mention  of  his  triumph  over  Roland,  a  tall,  gray- 
haired  gentleman  sitting  in  front,  turned  round  and  bowed  to 
Plastic. 

"  How  do  you  do,  Mr.  Bell?  I  am  glad  to  see  you,  sir," 
said  Plastic.  "  I  have  been  delayed  in  making  my  appearance 
at  the  capitol  by  illness  in  my  family.  But  I  see  they  have 
put  me  at  the  head  of  a  committee." 

"  I  see  they  have,"  said  Mr.  Bell.  "  The  committee 
on " 

Plastic's  voice  had  been  sufficiently  loud  to  attract  gen 
eral  attention.  But  Mr.  Bell's  announcement  had  produced 
quite  a  commotion ;  for  a  majority  of  the  male  passengers 
were  either  office-seekers,  or  the  prosecutors  of  claims  before 
Congress. 

Walter  was  surprised  at  the  sensation  exhibited  in  front 
and  on  either  side  of  him.  He  then  turned  his  head  to  see 
what  had  been  the  effect  in  the  rear.  Immediately  behind 
him  sat  a  jovial  Irishman,  who  gave  him  a  wink,  and  an  intelli 
gent  smile,  which,  however,  Walter  was  unable  at  first  to  com 
prehend.  But  after  some  reflection,  and  a  few  more  exchanges 
of  glances,  he  recollected  having  seen  the  man  before,  and 
bowed  to  him. 

"  I  think  we  have  met  somewhere,"  said  Walter. 

"  You  may  say  that,  Mr.  Winkle,  and  tell  the  truth." 


THE    TWO    OFFICE-SEEKERS.  333 

"  Where  it  was,  or  when,  I  confess  I  do  not  remember. 
But  as  you  seem  to  know  my  name,  perhaps  you  will  tell  me 
yours." 

"  Patrick  McClusky,"  said  the  other,  in  a  low  voice. 

"  Oh.  I  recollect,  now,"  said  Walter,  in  a  whisper.  Patrick 
was  one  of  the  prisoners  at  the  station  on  the  night  of  Walter's 
capture  at  Professor  Point's.  He  was  the  keeper  of  an  oyster 
house,  and  had  somehow  got  mixed  up  in  a  row  at  the  bar, 
where  some  one  had  condemned  his  brandy.  Walter  only  re 
collected  his  name,  but  could  easily  recognize  his  voice,  for  he 
had  often  heard  him,  at  his  bar,  cry  out,  "  Boy,  stew !  "  "  mint 
julep,"  &c. 

"  See  Mrs,  Famble,"  said  Patrick,  «  that's  what  I  would 
recommind  to  ye." 

"  And  where  are  you  going,  Patrick  ?  " 

"  Afther  an  office,  too.  I  want  an  inspectorship.  But  I 
nadn't  see  the  Prisident,  nor  the  Secretary  nader.  Masthress 
Honoria  Famble  will  fax  my  business."  He  added  in  a-  low 
whisper — "  I'm  going  to  pay  her  a  faa  of  fafty  dollars  for  her 
sarvices." 

"  And  this  young  gentleman,"  said  Mr.  Bell,  addressing 
himself  indirectly  to  Walter,  "  you  say  is  the  son  of  my  old 
friend  Winkle?  Sir,"  he  continued,  shaking  Walter's  hand, 
"  your  father  was  one  of  the  most  independent  men  in  Con 
gress.  I  knew  him  well,  and  loved  him.  And  I  am  sorry  to 
learn  his  affairs  fell  into  such  embarrassment,  that  his  son  is 
under  the  necessity  of  taking  so  desperate  a  step  as  to  become 
an  office-seeker." 

"  I  hope,  sir,"  said  Walter,  u  the  step  will  not  be  so  dis 
agreeable.  If  I  am  not  mistaken,  you  have  recently  received 
an  appointment." 

"  Very  true.  My  fortune  having  been  ruined  by  one  I 
confided  in,  my  friends  demanded  an  office  for  me.  The  Pre 
sident  very  kindly  acceded  to  the  request,  and  my  name  was 
sent  into  the  Senate,  and  there  it  remains —and  I  fear  it  will 
remain,  unless  I  can  satisfactorily  divide  some  forty  minor 
salaries  within  my  gift  among  the  five  hundred  friends  of  the 
Senators.  It  is  a  problem  I  fear  which  cannot  be  solved — a 
price  I  cannot  pay  for  the  office.  I  regret  that  my  friends 
proposed  my  name ;  but  having  been  nominated,  I  must  defend 
my  character." 

"Defend  your  character,  Mr.  Bell?"  exclaimed  Walter, 


334  THE    WINKLES. 

"  I  have  heard  my  father  say  that  no  man  enjoyed  a  better 
reputation " 

"  It  may  have  been  so  during  his  life,  and  when  I  was  not 
an  applicant  for  office.  But  the  most  immaculate  character  is 
easily  tarnished,  when  hung  up  in  the  Senate  as  a  common 
mark  for  the  slanders  of  defeated  competitors,  and  their  hosts 
of  disappointed  dependents.  Rely  upon  it,  young  man,  if  you 
succeed  in  obtaining  the  nomination  you  seek,  that  every  act 
of  your  life  will  be  canvassed  in  the  Senate.  Your  college 
sprees,  your  midnight  rambles,  your  thoughtless  words,  your 
lightest  acts,  will  be  remembered.  But  these  will  be  the 
least  of  your  torments.  A  thousand  slanders  will  be  fabri 
cated " 

"  If  so,  the  authors  of  them  shall  answer  it ! " 

"  If  you  lose  your  temper  you  are  lost.  No.  Follow  my 
example.  Get  some  friend  to  furnish  a  list  of  the  charges — 
and  then  refute  them.  Leave  the  rest  to  Providence.  If 
you  be  rejected,  with  your  character  saved,  retire  from  the 
field,  and  congratulate  yourself  on  so  fortunate  an  escape." 

"  Go  to  Misthress  Famble,"  whispered  Patrick. 

"  Might  I  not  succeed,"  asked  Walter,  "  by  securing  the 
services  of  Mrs.  Eimble  ?  " 

"  Yes — by  conciliating  her,  you  might  succeed — but  it 
would  be  at  the  expense  of  your  honor.  I  am  determined  to 
defy  her  opposition,  since  I  learn  she  opposed  my  appoint 
ment."  Mr.  Bell  said  this  with  a  quivering  lip,  and  then 
turned  away  his  face. 

When  they  reached  Washington,  Walter  put  up  at  one  of 
the  principal  hotels,  where  his  friend  Plastic  had  previously 
engaged  a  suite  of  rooms,  in  conjunction  with  several  of  the 
members  from  his  State.  Walter  and  Mr.  Bell  obtained  lodg 
ings  in  the  same  room.  Mr.  Bell  threw  out  several  hints  to 
his  young  and  inexperienced  friend,  in  regard  to  the  expense 
of  living  in  Washington,  and  particularly  at  the  hotels.  But 
Walter,  not  doubting  his  appointment  would  soon  be  procured 
through  the  influence  of  Plastic,  had  no  apprehensions  that 
his  finances  would  be  exhausted  before  he  could  replenish  them 
from  the  public  treasury. 

"  Be  not  too  sure  of  that,"  said  his  aged  friend.  "  You 
may  have  to  dance  attendance  here  for  many  months.  Your 
friend  Plastic  is  not  omnipotent.  His  influence  is  not  so  great 
as  he  supposes.  It  is  true  he  has  a  vote,  and  that  the  adminis- 


PATRICK'S  LETTER  TO  WINKLE.  335 

tration  will  wish  to  secure — but  he  is  a  weak  man.  My 
advice  is,  that  you  look  for  cheap  lodgings,  and  count  your 
money." 

This  conversation  took  place  just  before  the  hour  of  retir 
ing  on  the  evening  of  their  arrival ;  and  Walter  involuntarily 
drew  out  his  purse  and  reckoned  his  gold  on  the  small  table 
before  the  fire. 

"  Here  are  one  hundred  and  ten  dollars,"  said  he,  in  gold. 
That  is  my  whole  fortune.  No  !  "  he  continued,  starting  up, 
and  searching  the  pockets  of  his  overcoat.  "  My  aunt  Winkle 
gave  me  a  check,  which  I  placed  among  my  letters.  Here  are 
the  letters,  but  I  don't  see  the  check." 

"  I  remember  seeing  your  papers  scattered  about  on  the 
floor  of  the  car,"  said  Mr.  Bell.  lt  I  hope  your  check  did  not 
fall  with  them." 

"  It  must  have  been  so.  Patrick  handed  them  to  me.  I 
hope  he  didn't  keep  my  check." 

"  Patrick  ?    What  Patrick  ?  " 

"Patrick  McClusky." 

"  A  great  scamp !  he  is  one  of  my  enemies.  He  applied 
to  me  for  a  clerkship— or  rather  demanded  it  in  an  epistle 
which  I  could  scarcely  read ;  the  grammar,  orthography  and 
chirography  all  being  detestable.  I  wrote  him  back  that  my 
subordinates  must  at  least  be  capable  of  discharging  the 
duties  assigned  them,  which  he  could  never  do,  judging  from 
the  epistolary  specimen  before  me.  The  rascal  then  sent  me 
an  impudent  reply,  saying  he  would  apply  to  my  c  batters.' 
No  doubt  he  stole  your  check.  For  what  amount  was  it  ?  " 

"  Upon  my  word  I  don't  know,  I  did  not  look  at  it." 

"  Then  you  can't  tell  where  it  was  payable,  or  whether  it 
was  drawn  to  order  or  bearer.  Write  immediately  to  your 
aunt,  and  have  the  payment  stopped.  But  what's  that  ?  " 

A  servant  entered  bearing  a  clumsily  folded  letter  super 
scribed  :  "  Tow  Mr.  Walther  Wankle  Esqr." 

"It  must  be  for  me,"  said  Walter.  "Put  it  on  the 
table.  I  will  look  at  it  when  I  have  searched  my  pockets 
once  more."  Not  finding  the  check,  he  opened  the  letter  and 
read  as  follows  :  "  Misther  Walther  Wankle,  Sir  —  I  have 
sane  Misthress  Famble  and  mi  busnes  is  faxd.  She  seed  you 
at  super  and  sez  she  wants  to  no  you.  She  ses  she  liks  yer 
lukes,  and  wud  like  to  sarve  you  but  ses  Misther  Famble  is 
beging  for  a  nother  man.  Don't  be  onasy  she  kin  do  mor  in 


336  THE   WINKLES. 

a  dozzin  husbins.     Pleaes  anser  this  and  lave  at  the  barr  for 
your  obeydant  sarvint 

"  PATRICK  McCLusKY." 

"  That  rascal  has  your  check  !  "  said  Mr.  Bell,  "  and  it  is 
payable  to  order.  He  wants  your  signature." 

"  From  the  looks  of  his  handwriting,"  said  Walter,  "  he 
would  hardly  be  able  to  make  a  fortune  by  forging  other 
people's  names.  But  here's  a  postscript."  He  then  read 
aloud  the  following :  "  P  s  misthress  famble  ses  thae  bell 
hung  up  in  the  senat  won't  wring  onles  she  puls  the  klaper 

"  P.  Mod." 

"  It  is  certain  I  shall  not  apply  to  Mrs.  Fimble,  at  all 
events,"  said  Mr.  Bell. 

(i  Is  it  true  she  has  such  influence  ?  "  asked  "Walter. 

"  It  may  be  so.  It  is  strongly  suspected.  Her  husband 
and  herself — it  is  said  they  are  man  and  wife,  but  no  one  ever 
heard  of  them  before  they  came  here — live  in  the  most  ex 
pensive  manner,  and  by  some  means  they  have  an  abundance 
of  moncj",  and  find  access  to  all  the  functionaries  of  the 
government.  It  is  a  mystery.  He  is  a  handsome  man,  his 
face  exhibiting  all  the  evidences  of  luxurious  living,  and  she 
is  certainly  one  of  the  most  beautiful  women  I  ever  beheld. 
They  sat  nearly  opposite  at  the  table " 

"  Was  that  Mrs.  Fimble  ? "  asked  Walter,  with  much 
interest. 

"  It  was.  And  the  Irishman,  I  doubt  not,  reported  her 
words  correctly,  although  his  pen  has  given  them  a  different 
pronunciation.  She  is  not  only  handsome,  as  you  are  ready 
to  admit,  but  she  is  accomplished  in  intrigue,  and  really 
charms  many  of  the  old  senators  by  the  fascinations  of  her 
conversation." 

"  Was  not  that  the  senator  from r-  at  her  side  ?  " 

"  It  was.  And  because  I  did  not  speak  to  the  lady,  she 
may  compel  him  to  vote  against  me.  I  care  not.  But  I 
warn  you  against  the  Fimbles,  unless  you  are  prepared  to  pay 
them  tribute." 

"  From  what  McClusky  says,  it  would  seem  the  lady  is 
favorably  disposed  towards  me." 

"  Beware  of  her  !  She  might,  however,  if  she  were  to  en 
tertain  a  partiality  for  you — and  I  should  not  be  surprised  at 
it,  seeing  your  form  and  address — facilitate  your  object.  But 


AN    INTERVIEW  WITH   THE    PRESIDENT.  337 

then,  I  doubt  if  you  would  choose  to  be  indebted  to  any  pet 
ticoat  influence  for  your  office." 

Walter  admitted  that  he  would  prefer  to  be  appointed  on 
the  ground  of  his  own  merit.  Nevertheless,  he  would  not 
banish  from  his  memory  the  image  of  the  beautiful  creature 
he  had  seen  at  the  supper-table.  And  he  retired  to  his  couch 
without  either  writing  to  his  aunt  or  answering  Paddy's 
letter. 

The  next  day  Mr.   Plastic   accompanied   Walter   to   the 

White    House.     The   >!.  C.  from obtained   admittance 

without  difficulty.  He  scarcely  deigned  to  bestow  a  passing 
glance  on  the  doorkeeper,  that  great  personage  whose  favor 
able  attention  so  many  others  strove  in  vain  to  win. 

Plastic  approached  the  President  with  the  utmost  famili 
arity  and  confidence,  and  presented  his  young  friend  almost  in 
tones  of  exultation. 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  you,  gentlemen,"  said  the  President. 
"  Sit  down.  Winkle  ?  Did  you  say  Winkle  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  Plastic,  while  Walter  was  amused  at  the 
President's  seeming  sincerity  of  manner. 

11  Why,  sir,"  said  the  President,  addressing  the  young 
man,  "  I  knew  your  father  well.  He  was  my  friend.  A  brave 
and  honorable  gentleman.  It  gives  me  pleasure  to  meet  the 
son  of  one  I  esteemed  so  highly ;  a  son,  no  doubt,  worthy  of 
so  true  a  sire." 

"  I  have  no  doubt,"  said  Plastic,  "  you  read  my  young 
friend's  speech  at  Babbleton.  It  was  terse,  concentrated, 
original,  and  effective.  It  contributed  much  to  secure  my 
election." 

"  Oh,  certainly  !  I  recollect  it  distinctly.  We  had  it 
before  the  cabinet,  and  it  was  pronounced  'the  boldest  and  best 
thing  that  had  occurred  during  the  canvass.  My  young  friend, 
the  administration  is  much  indebted  to  you  ;  and  it  will  afford 
me  pleasure  to  serve  you  in  any  way  in  my  power," 

Walter  bowed,  thinking  such  a  gesture  could  never  be 
more  appropriate  than  just  at  that  time. 

"  That  is  coining  to  the  point,  Mr.  President,"  said  Plas 
tic.  "  My  young  friend  desires  to  visit  England ;  and  Col. 
Oakdale,  who  you  know  will  certainly  be  chosen  senator  by 
the  Legislature  now  in  session,  and  myself,  have  agreed  to 
unite  in  asking  for  him  the  office  of  Secretary  of  Legation,  or 
Consul  at  London." 

15 


338  THE   WINKLES. 


l  —  let  me  see  —  I  do  not  know  that  they  have  been 
irrevocably  promised  to  others  ;  and  I  am  sure  no  one  can 
produce  better  claims.  Col.  Oakdale  and  yourself  are  en 
titled  to  demand  something  for  your  friend  ;  and,  besides,  my 
young  friend  has  claims  of  his  own,  both  on  account  of  his 
father's  services  and  his  own  merits." 

"  I  am  sure,  sir,"  said  Walter,  "  I  am  deeply  indebted  to 
you  for  your  kind  expressions." 

"  Kind  expressions  merely,  my  friend,"  said  the  President, 
w  are  not  deemed  of  much  value  here,  —  eh,  Plastic  ?  " 

"  No,  indeed,"  said  Plastic.  "  They  are  as  plenty  as 
blackberries,  and  as  cheap  as  Potomac  herrings.  You  will  be 
overwhelmed  with  them  in  this  city,  and  might  starve  on  them, 
if  the  President  were  not  truly  your  friend." 

"  True,  Plastic,"  said  his  excellency.  "  But  I  will  be  his 
friend,  both  on  account  of  his  fathers  services  and  his  own 
claims."  He  then  wrote  the  following  familiar  note  to  the 
Secretary  of  State—"  Mr.  Walter  Winkle,  the  son  of  an  old 
friend  from  -  ,  is  an  applicant  for  the  office  of  Secretary 
of  Legation  in  London.  I  wish  him  to  have  the  appoint 
ment  5  or  else  the  Consulate  at  the  same  place.  Let  me  know 
immediately  which  would  be  the  most  agreeable  and  advan 
tageous  position  ;  and  which  has  the  fewest  obstacles  in  the 
way." 

Walter  ran  his  eye  over  the  note  while  the  President  and 
Plastic  were  discussing  some  point  of  policy  in  reference  to 
the  business  before  the  House  of  Representatives.  Although 
he  was  not  sure  that  he  comprehended  the  last  line,  yet  he 
supposed  the  note  upon  the  whole  very  satisfactory. 

The  interview  with  the  President  being  ended,  Walter 
and  his  friend  proceeded  next  to  the  Department  of  State. 
After  some  little  delay,  just  sufficient  to  indicate  the  impor 
tance  of  the  chief  diplomatic  functionary,  they  were  admitted. 
The  eyes  of  the  secretary  dilated  when,  after  the  ceremony  of 
introduction  they  fell  upon  the  Presidential  seal  of  the  note 
produced  by  the  young  man;  and  his  brows  were  slightly 
contracted  when  he  perused  the  lines.  It  was  one  of  those 
cases  in  which  the  usual  preliminary  consultation  had  not  been 
had  with  the  head  of  the  department  —  in  which,  indeed,  a  stride 
had  been  made  over  the  secretary  by  the  applicant  and  his 
friend.  They  had,  nevertheless,  been  sent  down  to  him  by  the 
President  himself,  and  the  parties  were  to  be  convinced  mat- 


THE  SECRETARY  OF  STATE.          339 

ters  of  that  nature  and  magnitude  could  not  be  accomplished 
without  his  participation  in  the  work. 

After  a  silence  of  several  minutes,  the  secretary  remarked 
that  the  President's  request  should  be  complied  with;  and 
Walter  uttered  a  profusion  of  acknowledgments. 

"  It  will  certainly  be  a  pleasure  for  me  to  remove  any  of 
the  obstacles  the  President  alludes  to,"  said  the  secretary,  and 
then  added,  "  if  it  be  in  my  power  to  do  so." 

"  I  understand,"  said  the  young  man,  "  that  both  places  are 
vacant,  or  will  soon  be  so." 

"  That  is  very  true.  But  the  obstacles  do  not  lie  in  that 
direction.  There  is  never  any  difficulty  in  finding  or  making 
vacancies.  One  half  of  our  agents  abroad  are  utterly  incom 
petent,  and  the  other  moiety  are  unfaithful,  so  that  there  are 
always  a  sufficient  number  ripe  for  removal.  The  difficulty  is 
in  deciding  who  shall  succeed  them.  Among  the  many  appli 
cants,  it  is  a  very  embarrassing  Operation  to  determine  whose 
claims  are  the  strongest." 

"  I  hoped,"  said  Walter,  "  there  were  but  few  if  any  appli 
cations,  as  yet,  for  either  of  the  positions.  The  President  did 
not  intimate  there  were  any." 

"  He  did  not  mention  them,  but  the  obstacles  he  refers  to 
relate  to  other  applicants.  Mr.  Boozle,"  said  the  minister, 
addressing  his  private  secretary  in  the  next  room,  "  let  me  see 
the  number  of  applications  for  the  two  vacant  places  in  Lon 
don." 

A  moment  after  Mr.  Boozle  came  in,  preceded  by  a  mes 
senger  bearing  a  large  basket  filled  with  bundles  of  papers. 

"  I  did  not  desire  to  know  how  many  bushels,"  said  the 
great  diplomatic  functionary,  "but  the  number." 

"  These  are  the  applications  for  the  consulate,"  said  Boo 
zle.  "  They  number  seven  hundred.  There  are  two  baskets 
for  the  other,  numbering  a  thousand." 

"  That  is  all,  Boozle  ?  "  said  the  minister,  smiling  at  the 
dismay  of  Walter. 

"  But,"  said  Plastic  with  an  air  of  importance,  and  recol 
lecting  that  he  had  been  requested  by  the  President  to  oppose 
a  motion  in  the  House  for  the  production  of  a  certain  diplo 
matic  correspondence,  which  it  was  understood  the  secretary 
was  averse  to  having  made  public,  "  I  presume  the  claims  of 
my  friend  cannot  be  inferior  to  any." 

"  Unquestionably  not !     It  is  true  there  are  among  the  ap- 


340  THE    WINKLES. 

plicants  several  nephews  of  former  Presidents,  and,  indeed  a 
near  relative  of  the  present  incumbent,  and  many  sons  and 
nephews  of  ex-secretaries  and  senators.  But  you  know  our 
organ  has  condemned  nepotism,  and  therefore  we  are  commit 
ted  against  it.  Besides,  we  are  quite  secure  in  the  Senate, 
while  the  majority  in  the  House  is  less  reliable.  I  was  aston 
ished  to  see  the  motion  entertained  for  the  production  of  the 
Algerine  correspondence." 

"  Oh,  we'll  vote  it  down  to-day.  And  I  must  hasten  to 
the  capitol.  I  hope,  Mr.  Secretary,  there  will  be  no  delay  in 
this  business  of  my  young  friend." 

"  I  think  not.  I  will  immediately  send  the  information 
required  to  the  President.  I  shall  be  happy  to  see  you  again 
to-morrow,  Mr.  Winkle." 

Plastic  and  Walter  withdrew;  but  before  they  left  the 
building,  the  former  was  called  aside  by  Mr.  Boozle,  who  de 
sired  a  few  moments'  conversation  in  private. 

When  the  member  rejoined  his  young  friend,  it  was  with  a 
troubled  countenance,  real  or  affected.  "  Such  profligacy  !  " 
said  he  ;  "  such  monstrous  corruption,  was  never  heard  of  be 
fore,  and  surely  never  existed  in  any  other  government." 

"It  is  some  state  secret,  I  suppose,"  said  Walter,  u which 
none  but  officials  should  know." 

"  None  but  rogues,  it  seems  to  me,"  said  Plastic.  "  I  will 
tell  you  in  the  strictest  confidence,"  he  continued,  as  they  walked 
along.  "  Boozle  assures  me  that  both  places  have  been  already 
promised  to  the  proteges  of  two  members." 

"  By  the  President  ?  " 

"  I  suppose  so — certainly  by  the  secretary.  They  must 
have  forgotten  it  in  the  multiplicity  of  their  engagements." 

"  I  have  read  sqmewhere,"  said  Walter,  "  that  great  public 
functionaries  possess  the  faculty  of  forgetfulness.  I  hope  this 
Mr.  Boozle  will  not  take  it  upon  himself  to  remind  them  of 
their  former  promises ;  and  I  will  dance  attendance  upon  them 
so  incessantly  they  shall  not  be  able  to  forget  their  pledges  to 
me.  And  I  had  better  tip  this  private  secretary  in  the  manner 
described  by  Gil  Bias,  when  he  was  confidential  secretary  of 
the  Spanish  minister.  But  I  have  not  the  means.  I  might, 
however,  make  him  a  promise  you  know." 

"  You  have  read  to  some  purpose,  Walter,  and  I  think  you 
will  have  the  address  to  carry  your  point.  But  the  matter 


THE  WAY  APPOINTMENTS   ARE    OBTAINED.         341 

stands  thus  :  The  members  referred  to  make  politics  a  trade. 
You  understand  ?  " 

"  Perfectly,  I  think.  They  are  likewise  to  be  tipped.  But 
where  would  be  the  incumbent's  compensation." 

"  The  consulship  is  worth  $5,000  per  annum,  with  the 
perquisites,  which  can  be  realized  by  good  management." 

"  Well.  The  two  members  conciliated,  how  shall  we  dis 
pose  of  the  two  proteges  ?  Tip  them  too  ?  " 

"  Only  one  of  them  can  be  disappointed,  you  know." 

"  Exactly,  I  cannot  have  both  offices.  And  therefore  but  one 
of  the  members  will  have  to  be  tipped,  unless  you  take " 

"  Me  ?  Don't  suppose  any  thing  of  the  kind !  I  should  be 
offended  if  I  thought  you  capable  of  conceiving  such  an  idea. 
But  the  applicants  who  have  obtained  the  promises  had  agreed 
to  pay  the  members  ten  per  cent,  of  their  salaries,  fees  and 
perquisites ;  and  I  understand  they  have  already  advanced  cer 
tain  sums.  The  member  who  will  have  to  relinquish  the  ap 
pointment  procured  for  his  friend,  will  have  to  refund,  and 
that  would  be  inconvenient." 

"  Unless  I  reimbursed  the  amount." 

u  Precisely  so.     Are  you  prepared  to  do  it  ?  " 

"  But  the  one  that  had  the  promise  ?  How  will  they  dis 
pose  of  him  ?  " 

"  Boozle  says  that  can  be  managed.  A  previous  promise 
to  you,  which  had  been  forgotten.  Something  of  that  sort. 
But  are  you  prepared  to  furnish  Boozle  the  means  to  tip  the 
member  ?  " 

"  Will  he  furnish  me  the  name  of  the  member,  so  that  I 
can  treat  with  him  directly  ?  " 

"  I  think  not." 

"  Do  you  know  his  name  ?  " 

"  Yes — but  I  am  bound  in  honor  not  to  divulge  it." 

"  Will  you  not  see  him  for  me,  so  there  can  be  no  necessity 
for  the  interposition  of  Boozle  ?  " 

"  Yes.     I  will  undertake  to  pay  him  the  amount  you  send." 

"  I  shall  send  him  nothing." 

u  What  do  you  mean,  then  ?  " 

"  To  punish  him. 

''Punish  him?" 

11  Yes.     He's  a  scoundrel,  and  you  must  tell  me  his  name." 

"  I  shall  do  no  such  thing !  " 

"  Then  I  will  hold  you  responsible.     Good  day,  sir  !     The 


342  THE    WINKLES. 

only  way  in  which  I  can  be  conciliated  will  be  the  immediate 
notification  of  my  appointment.  You  can  now  test  the  extent 
of  your  influence." 

And  Walter  turned  away  from  the  astonished  member, 
boiling  with  indignation  and  anger,  and  resolved  at  the  instant 
to  make  a  public  exposure  of  the  corrupt  practices  of  the  trad 
ing  politicians.  But  before  he  reached  his  lodgings  he  had 
time  to  reflect  that  the  revelation  had  been  confidentially  made, 
and  that  it  would  be  out  of  his  power  to  avail  himself  of  it  in 
the  manner  he  at  first  intended. 

In  the  afternoon,  as  Walter  was  sitting  in  his  room  pon 
dering  over  the  events  of  the  morning,  he  was  startled  by  the 
abrupt  entrance  of  Mr.  Bell,  who  held  in  his  hand  a  large  en 
velope,  bearing  the  broad  seal  of  the  government. 

"  I  hope  you  have  your  commission,  sir,"  said  Walter. 

"  Yes — you  may  congratulate  me  on  my  victory,"  said  Mr. 
Bell ;  "  but  I  had  hard  fighting  for  it.  I  preferred  a  final  de 
cision  to  further  delay.  This  is  the  tenth  time  I  have  been 
to  Washington  on  this  business,  and  I  resolved  it  should  be 
the  last.  They  confirmed  me  by  a  majority  of  one,  and  that 
result  was  obtained  by  stratagem." 

"Stratagem?" 

"  I  had  to  enter  the  lists  against  Mrs.  Fimble,  and  "I  out- 
generalled  her.  My  friend  from  Virginia  conceived  the  idea, 
and  I  acted  by  his  advice.  When  the  Senate  was  about  to  go 
into  executive  session,  we  contrived  to  have  an  album  sent  to 

Mr.  for  his  autograph.     He  was  told  it  was  for  Mrs. 

Fimble,  who  was  about  to  leave  the  city.  He  wrote  his  nanie 
in  the  book,  and  then  followed  the  boy,  who  soon  eluded  him. 

Now  Mr. ,  like  many  others,  had  been  fascinated  by 

the  beauty  of  Mrs.  F.,  and  the  charms  of  her  conversation. 
Although  quite  seventy  years  old,  Mr.  took  such  de 
light  in  conducting  the  young  lady  to  the  levees  and  soirees, 
and  along  the  avenue,  that  he  could  not  bear  the  thought  of 
being  deprived  of  that  pleasure  so  abruptly,  and  so  he  resolved 
to  seek  an  interview,  and  know  the  reason  why  she  was  de 
parting  so  unceremoniously.  He  found  her  here,  in  her  suite 
of  apartments,  surrounded  by  the  wives  and  daughters  of  the 
functionaries  of  the  government,  and  I  need  not  tell  you  their 
surprise  was  mutual,  when  the  object  of  his  visit  had  been  ex 
plained,  which  did  not  occur  for  more  than  an  hour.  He  has 
tened  back  to  the  capitol,  but  the  Senate  had  adjourned  just 


WINKLE'S  HOPES  BUOYANT.       343 

as  he  descended  from  his  carriage.  My  friend  from  Virginia 
met  him,  and  taking  his  arm,  kept  his  attention  fixed  upon 
other  matters  of  public  importance,  until  I  had  time  to  pro 
cure  my  commission.  I  shall  leave  hy  the  next  train — and  I 
think  you  had  better  go  with  me.  You  shall  have  an  office  in 
the  city  in  my  department." 

"And  deprive  my  friend,  Patrick  McClusky?" 

"  Yes — all  the  paddies  in  the  world.  I  see  you  and  I  un 
derstand  each  other.  We  are  both  Know  Nothings,  and  we 
have  the  same  mission.  The  secretary  has  given  me  a  list  of 
names,  from  which  he  says  the  President  and  himself  desire 
me  to  select  three  fourths  of  my  subordinates.  One  third  of 
them  are  foreigners,  and  at  least  one  fourth  are  grog- sellers. 
I  shall  not  obey.  They  may  remove  me  from  office ;  but  I 
will  not  be  moved  from  my  determination.  If  one  is  to  be 
responsible  for  the  faithful  performance  of  the  duties  of  his  of 
fice,  he  ought  to  enjoy  the  privilege  of  selecting  honest  and 
capable  subordinates." 

"  I  agree  with  you,  most  heartily.  But  I  suppose  my  ap 
pointment  will  be  sent  in  to-day  or  to-morrow." 

Walter  then  related  the  substance  of  his  interview  with 
the  President  and  the  secretary.  But  Mr.  Bell  shook  his 
head  incredulously,  though  at  the  same  time  wishing  his  young 
friend  every  success.  He  could  not  forbear  telling  him,  how 
ever,  that  the  appointment  which  had  been  conferred  on  him 
had  previously  been  promised  another,  and  that  he  had  been 
surprised  when  he  heard  his  name  was  sent  up  to  the  Senate, 
"  There  is  many  a  slip,"  said  he,  "  between  the  cup  and  the 
lip ;  and  if  you  should  be  disappointed,  come  to  me.  But 
have  the  matter  brought  to  a  speedy  conclusion."  He  then 
took  leave  of  Walter,  as  it  was  near  the  time  when  the  next 
train  left  the  city.  He  promised  to  see  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle, 
and  learn  something  further  in  relation  to  the  lost  check,  not 
doubting  McClusky  knew  all  about  it.  If  it  had  been  pre 
sented  under  a  forged  indorsement,  the  exposure  of  the  rascal 
would  at  least  dispose  of  his  pretensions  for  office,  and  it  might 
be  the  means  of  putting  some  money  in  Walter's  purse. 

A  short  time  after  the  departure  of  Mr.  Bell,  Walter  was 
waited  on  by  Mr.  Boozle,  who  bore  him  the  comfortable  as 
surance  that  from  what  he  could  learn  at  the  White  House, 
and  at  the  Department,  it  was  settled  that  he  should  be  ap 
pointed  consul  to  London.  A  new  minister  was  to  go  to 


344  THE    WINKLES. 

England,  and  as  the  secretary  of  legation  was  a  sort  of  con 
fidential  clerk  to  the  plenipotentiary,  that  functionary  was 
usually  consulted,  and  the  selection  made  among  his  personal 
acquaintances.  For  that  reason  Walter  had  been  selected 
for  the  consulate.  Boozle  did  not  intimate  any  thing  about 
the  tipping  portion  of  the  negotiation ;  but  merely  congratu 
lated  his  young  friend  on  his  prompt  success. 


CHAPTER    XXX. 

WALTER    BECOMES  ACQUAINTED  WITH   HONORIA— XAVIER,  THE 
JESUIT  CHIEF— WALTER  RECEIVES  LETTERS  FROM  VIRGINIA. 

WALTER  called  the  next  day  at  the  Department,  but  could 
not  see  the  secretary;  he  was  with  the  President;  and  of 
course  the  President  could  not  be  seen  when  in  consultation 
with  the  cabinet  ministers.  But  he  saw  Mr.  Boozle,  who  as 
sured  him  that  his  appointment  was  a  settled  thing,  and  that 
he  need  not  give  himself  any  further  trouble  about  it. 

Walter  spent  the  remainder  of  the  day  at  the  capitol,  and 
was  not  at  all  annoyed  to  find  the  dark  lustrous  eyes  of  Mrs. 
Fimble,  who  sat  near  him  in  the  gallery  of  the  House,  fre 
quently  turned  in  his  direction.  He  was  quite  as  attractive 
as  a  gentleman,  as  his  sister  was  as  a  lady ;  and  he  was  not 
slow  to  attribute  the  glances  of  the  reigning  belle  to  his  supe 
rior  endowments.  Nor  was  he  the  less  flattered  when  he  saw 
an  almost  imperceptible  nod  was  sufficient  to  draw  the  most 
distinguished  members  in  the  Hall  to  her  side.  At  the  hotel, 
on  the  avenue,  in  short  wherever  they  met,  Walter  had  the 
satisfaction  to  observe  that  he  arrested  the  belle's  attention  ; 
and  it  was  not  remarkable  that  he  should  anxiously  desire  an 
opportunity  of  being  formally  introduced.  But  there  was  no 
one  present  who  could  render  that  service,  except  Plastic ;  and 
as  he  had  fallen  out  with  the  member  (for  which  he  now  con 
demned  himself),  he  exercised  his  wits  to  devise  some  other 
means  of  becoming  acquainted  with  the  lady,  and  fortune  fa 
vored  him ;  for  Honoria  herself,  upon  a  decision  taking  place 
on  some  interesting  question,  finding  her  company  of  honora- 
bles  suddenly  dispersed,  rose  up  and  moved  in  the  direction  of 


WINKLE'S  NEW  ACQUAINTANCE.      345 

the  winding  stairway.  As  she  was  passing  near  Walter,  she 
smiled,  and  calling  him  familiarly  by  his  name,  said  they 
ought  to  be  acquainted,  as  it  had  been  three  days  since  they 
were  dwelling  under  the  same  roof.  Walter  was  no  novice  in 
gallantry ;  and  so,  by  the  time  they  were  at  the  foot  of  the 
stairs,  no  one  could  have  supposed  they  had  not  been  long 
upon  terms  of  intimacy. 

They  avoided  the  gallant  old  senator,  who  stood  ready  to 
assist  the  lady  into  his  carriage,  by  passing  through  the 
grounds  on  the  west  side  of  the  capitol. 

"I  will  not  meet  him,"  said  Mrs.  Fimble,  "for  we  should 
quarrel.  He  suffered  Mr.  Bell  to  pass  the  Senate,  when  his 
vote  would  have  still  kept  him  hanging  there." 

"  But  I  understood  from  my  friend,  Mr.  Bell,"  said  Wal 
ter,  "  that  it  was  on  your  account  he  left  his  seat." 

"  An  old  politician  to  be  bamboozled  in  that  manner !  " 

"  Old  politicians,"  said  Walter,  "  as  I  learn  by  my  reading, 
as  well  as  experienced  generals,  have  been,  in  all  countries  and 
in  all  ages,  subject  to  the  caprices — or  rather  the  influences — 
of  the  divine  sex.  If  Antony  lost  an  empire  to  follow  an 

Egyptian  mistress,  surely  Mr. is  not  to  be  condemned  for 

a  merely  temporary  abandonment  of  his  seat  in  the  Senate,  to 
arrest  the  flight  of  a  much " 

"  Enough  !  I  know  what  you  would  say.  If  the  old  gen 
tleman  himself  had  pronounced  such  a  speech,  I  could  not 
have  withheld  my  forgiveness  ;  and  as  Mr.  Bell  is  your  friend, 
I  shall  not  harshly  reproach  him.  But  my  objection  to  Mr. 
Bell  was "  she  paused. 

"  May  I  know  what  it  was  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  I  have  understood  he  belonged  to  a  secret  order,  which 
would  disfranchise  foreigners  and  Catholics ;  and  I  am  a 
Catholic." 

Walter  averted  his  head  just  in  time  to  escape  the  range 
of  her  dark  eyes.  It  was  evidently  her  design  to  scrutinize 
his  features  closely  after  the  announcement  she  had  just  made, 
but  she  was  prevented. 

"  But  you  are  no  foreigner,  and  you  do  not  wish  to  exer 
cise  the  privilege  of  voting." 

"  Oh,  the  members  of  the  secret  order,  I  presume,  do  not 
war  against  the  women.  I  am  sure,  now,  if  you  were  one  of 
the  Know  Nothings,  I  should  not  be  apprehensive  of  any 
serious  results  arising  from  your  hostility.  But,"  she  con- 

15* 


346  THE   WINKLES. 

tinned,  with  her  magical  orbs  bearing  full  upon  him,  u  I  cannot 
avoid  manifesting  a  sympathy  for  the  members  of  our  church, 
foreign  and  native,  whose  privileges  and  welfare  are  menaced 
by  a  secret  organization,  whose  ramifications  extend  into 
every  locality,  and  whose  members  and  operations  are  known 
to  none  but  themselves." 

"  I  do  not  fear  them,"  said  Walter,  returning  the  searching 
glance  of  the  beautiful  lady.  "  I  do  not  fear  them — at  least, 
any  more  than  I  do  the  insidious  order  of  the  Jesuits ;  which, 
it  is  said,  aim  to  obtain  the  supreme  power  in  all  governments. 
I  know  not  whether  the  successors  of  Loyola,  Francis  Xavier 
and  Borgia,  admit  the  diviner  sex  into  their  counsels ;  but  the 
danger  must  be  very  great  if  they  do." 

"  And,  really,  one  might  suppose  you  regarded  me  as  one 
of  their  instruments  !  " 

"  If  that  were  the  case,  I  should  not  fear  their  machina 
tions.  It  could  not  be  their  purpose  to  inflict  evil ;  and  the 
new  order  of  Know  Nothings  would  soon  be  overthrown  by 
them,  unless  they  resorted  to  similar  means  for  the  purposes 
of  hostility  and  defence." 

"  A  capital  suggestion,  which  I  must  not  fail  to  repeat  to 
my  father  confessor.  But  then  the  enemy  might  improve 
upon  your  suggestion,  and  employ  instruments  like  yourself  to 
circumvent  the  fair  agents  of  the  Jesuits  !  What  then  ?  " 

"  What  then  ?  Why,  it  seems  to  me  I  would  like  to  turn 
propagandist.  Seriously,  though,  my  dear  madam,  I  am  a 
Protestant,  and  do  fear  the  Jesuits  more  than  the  Know 
Nothings.  Notwithstanding  the  protestations  of  the  Catholic 
converts  in  Congress,  or  rather  the  demagogues — such,  I  mean, 
as  once  boasted  of  their  Puritanical  descent,  but  who,  being 
very  low  originally,  never  could  descend  at  all — I  say,  not 
withstanding  their  solemn  assertions  to  the  contrary,  we  see 
by  every  arrival  from  abroad,  that  the  Jesuits  in  Italy  pro 
claim  an  absolute  monarchy  as  the  only  form  of  government 
sanctioned  by  their  faith ;  and  still  assert  that  the  Apostolic 
head  of  the  Church  is  superior  to  kings  in  temporal  au 
thority." 

"  I  will  answer  that  speech  another  time.  You  speak  like 
an  enemy,  but  do  not  look  like  one." 

<k  I  speak  in  defence  of  Protestantism  and  my  country — • 
and  to  my  countrywoman." 


THE   JESUITS.  347 

"  But  a  Catholic.  Remember  that.  You  shall  answer 
for  it ! " 

They  were  now  overtaken  on  the  avenue  by  the  carriage  of 
the  infatuated  old  senator,  and  Honoria  (he  used  only  that 
portion  of  Mrs.  F.'s  name)  was  constrained  to  abandon  her 
young  gallant,  who  had  already  excited  the  fear  and  envy  of 
more  than  one  official  aspirant. 

That  night  the  dark,  lustrous  eyes  of  Honoria  illumined 
the  dreams  of  Walter.  In  the  shifting  scenes  of  the  phantas 
magoria  that  filled  his  slumbers,  she  was  ever  present,  and 
always  in  the  attitude  of  striving  unceasingly  to  entice  him 
from  the  path  he  had  been  intent  upon  pursuing. 

And  while  he  sighed  upon  his  solitary  pillow,  the  doors 
leading  to  the  apartments  of  Honoria  were  stealthily  opened 
by  the  servants  of  the  Society  of  Jesus,  who  had  been  dis 
tributed  in  all  the  hotels,  and  the  modern  Father  Xavier  was 
noiselessly  admitted  into  the  presence  of  the  watchful  woman. 

"  Daughter  ! "  said  he,  sternly,  when  the  doors  were  closed 
behind  him,  and  he  stood  alone  before  the  prostrate  Honoria, 
who  sobbed  at  his  feet ;  "  you  have  been  neglectful  of  your 
duty,  and  thereby  inflicted  upon  the  sacred  cause  a  wound 
which  may  not  be  easily  healed." 

"  Oh,  father  !  "  said  she,  "  it  was  the  result  of  an  imposi 
tion  which  no  one  could  have  anticipated  !  " 

"  Every  thing  inimical  to  our  interests  which  can  possibly 
occur,  should  be  anticipated  and  provided  against.  Your 
eyes,  or  the  eyes  of  your  agents,  should  be  upon  every  move 
ment — their  ears  open  to  every  sound.  Where  were  your 
pages?' 

"  They  were  present,  but  did  not  suspect " 

"  Remove  them.  Substitute  others  whose  suspicions  never 
can  be  lulled.  This  man,  so  unnecessarily  approved  by  the 
Senate,  will  persecute  our  order  to  the  utmost ;  and  we  shall 
have  to  resort  to  the  extreme  limits  of  our  power,  to  enjoy  any 
portion  of  the  patronage  within  his  gift.  We  must  substitute 
other  men  for  the  present  applicants ;  and  to  enable  them  to 
stand  the  tests  which  will  no  doubt  be  applied,  they  must  be 
absolved  from  the  sin  of  falsehood,  for  the  sake  of  the  end, 
and  for  the  benefit  of  the  cause.  And  all  this,  in  consequence 
of  a  relaxation  of  vigilance  on  your  part." 

"  Forgive  me,  father !  You  shall  not  have  cause  to  cen 
sure  me  again." 


348  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Arise.  You  are  forgiven.  You  will  atone  for  the  past  ?  ' 
"  I  will  endeavor  to  do  so,  father,"  said  she,  rising,  and 
occupying  a  stool  at  the  feet  of  the  priest,  who  sat  in  a  large 
cushioned  chair.  "  I  will  strive  to  incense  the  President  and 
the  secretary  against  Mr.  Bell,  so  that  he  may  be  removed." 
"  No,  daughter.  It  will  not  avail.  You  might  easily 
have  him  dismissed ;  but  the  elimination  would  weaken  us, 
and  injure  our  cause  in  other  respects.  The  matter  has  been 
calmly  weighed,  and  he  must  remain,  unless  removed  without 
any  agency  of  ours:  There  is  other  work  for  you  to  accom 
plish.  One  half  the  offices  in  the  country,  and  more  than  a 
moiety  of  the  lucrative  contracts,  are  already  in  our  hands. 
We  have  the  highest  seat  in  the  Judiciary,  two  members  of 
the  Cabinet,  and  forty  thousand  subordinates  in  various  places. 
We  shall  elect  the  next  President." 

"  I  know  it,  father !  We  have  succeeded  completely  in 
gaining  over  to  our  cause,  and  quite  imperceptibly  to  himself, 
the  lion-hearted  orator  of  Virginia." 

"  Yes.  He  will  be  the  new  cceur  de  leon.  But  we  must 
likewise  have  our  sentinels  at  the  outposts.  Our  general,  who 
finds  the  minister  at  Paris  impregnable  and  impracticable, 
will  have  him  destroyed.  The  panic-stricken  champion  at 
London,  must  yield  his  position  to  one  of  firmer  nerves. 
These  are  the  objects  which  must  never  be  absent  from  your 
thoughts.  Remember,  they  are  of  paramount  importance. 
But  you  are  not  to  neglect  the  minor  appointments.  If  we 
cannot  have  the  plenipotentiaries,  we  must,  at  least,  secure 
their  secretaries,  and  as  many  of  the  consuls  as  possible." 

"  There  is  one,  father " 

"  About  to  be  appointed.  I  know  such  is  the  purpose.  It 
must  be  prevented  !  " 

"  Alas,  then,  he,  too,  is  an  enemy  !  " 

"  He  is  !  But  you  may  confine  him  with  the  silken  fetters 
of  your  blandishments.  Beware,  though,  that  he  does  not 
fetter  you !  If  he  should  conquer  your  heart,  you  will  be 
lost  for  ever — both  on  earth,  and  in  the  world  to  come.  He, 
too,  has  the  lion-heart ;  but  it  could  never  be  made  to  sub 
serve  our  purposes.  He  must  be  beguiled  by  your  arts — not 
suddenly  subdued,  His  family,  which  have  been  the  subjects 
of  our  particular  attention  for  years,  are  altogether  incorrigi 
ble.  His  father  was  reduced  to  poverty  by  our  means,  and 
yet  his  mother  is  incapable  of  grief;  and  his  portionless 


STARTLING    REVELATIONS.  349 

sister,  in  spite  of  the  literal  execution  of  our  commands  by 
Roland,  will  probably  become  a  British  peeress ;  nevertheless, 
she  will  be  removed  from  the  scene  of  our  gigantic  operations. 
His  aunt  in  New  York,  will  become  an  imbecile.  The  poison 
is  administered  in  the  guise  of  sentimental  novels.  His  aunt 
in  Philadelphia,  has  conceived,  under  our  tutelage,  an  absorb 
ing  passion  for  cards.  His  uncle  is  a  monamaniac,  in  the 
keeping  of  one  of  our  secret  converts,  who,  in  consideration  of 
the  marriage  we  stipulated,  is  to  convert  the  parish  minister 
to  our  faith,  under  a  dispensation  permitting  him  to  enjoy  the 
society  of  his  wife  and  children." 

"  And,  father,"  said  Honoria,  •"  it  was  true,  then,  as  the 
papers  said,  that  the  singular  speech  of  Walter  Winkle  de 
feated  the  election  of  our  candidate." 

"  It  was,  daughter.  But  it  is  not  to  be  regretted,  since 
Plastic  is  likely  to  become  a  convert.  Roland  durst  never 
disobey  or  betray  us  ;  but  he  has  grovelling  passions,  and  may 
be  destroyed  by  one  of  his  own  acts,  performed  without  our 
knowledge.  He  is,  without  knowing  it,  the  legal  husband  of 
a  poor  inoffensive  creature,  and  the  consequences  resulting 
from  his  rash  act,  may  involve  him  in  ruin.  He  is  watched 
by  a  Scotch  lawyer — a  Presbyterian — implacable  in  his  nature. 
But  as  to  this  young  man.  Secure  him  in  your  toils,  but  be 
ware  of  him.  Keep  him.  If  he  escapes,  he  will  become  the 
husband  of  a  senator's  daughter — I  mean  the  daughter  of  one 
who  will  be  a  senator,  and  whose  hostility  to  our  order  can 
never  be  mitigated." 

"  You  may  rely  upon  me,  father ! "  said  Honoria,  with 
flashing  eyes. 

"  I  think  so,  my  daughter.  Both  the  religious  devotee, 
and  the  woman,  will  be  arrayed  against  one  in  the  attitude 
of  a  rival.  But,  I  say  again,  beware  !  In  casting  your  blan 
dishments  around  him,  take  heed  you  be  not  yourself  en 
snared,  as  was  the  princess  of ,  who  expiated  her  crime 

in  the  damp  dungeon  of  Bohemia  !  But  you  have  permission 
to  distract  and  disarm  the  editor  of  the  Know  Nothing  Or 
gan.  The  end  is  to  be  accomplished.  You  may  use  the 
means,  with  all  the  circumspection  and  prudence  your  posi 
tion  may  seem  to  demand." 

"  It  shall  be  done,  father,  if  you  command  it,  and  if  it " 

"  I  do  command  it,  by  the  authority  vested  in  me  by  our 
general !  It  is  the  first  time  during  the  centuries  of  our  ex- 


350  THE   WINKLES. 

istence,  that  we  have  been  called  upon  to  contend  against  so 
powerful  an  enemy,  or  one  so  difficult  to  overthrow.  A  secret 
order  !  A  mysterious  organization  !  They  would  wrest  the 
weapons  from  our  hands.  In  desperate  cases  we  must  resort 
to  desperate  remedies.  We  had  all  things  in  readiness  to 
throw  off  the  mask,  when  the  devil  himself  presented  before 
us  this  masked  foe  !  We  must  overcome  both  the  powers  of 
earth  and  hell !  " 

"  The  holy  virgin  help  us  !  " 

"  Ay.  And  we  must  help  ourselves.  You  had  a  letter  from 
your  husband  to-day.  Our  agents  did  not  open  it.  You  will 
tell  me  the  contents." 

"  Willingly,  father.  He  says  the  profits  from  the  last 
contract  will  be  seventy-five  thousand  dollars.  But  that  five 
thousand  dollars  of  it  will  be  demanded  for  the  support  of 
the  press." 

"  The  editors  must  not  receive  it.  I  will  devise  the 
means  of  avoiding  so  useless  an  expenditure.  Such  writers 
as  he  refers  to  are  only  useful  when  entirely  dependent.  Bu 
Mr.  Finable  sighs  to  return.  Such  is  my  information  ;  and  ho 
would  hasten  the  execution  of  his  mission  by  the  employ 
ment  of  men  not  belonging  to  our  order.  Tell  him  my  eyes 
are  on  him,  and  that  his  most  secret  thoughts  and  desires  are 
known.  Say  that  he  may  not  indulge  the  hope  of  escape 
with  fortune — but  the  danger  is  great  that  the  beautiful  Ho- 
noria  may  speedily  be  called  a  widow." 

"  Oh,  Father  Xavier !" 

"  Murmur  not  at  the  decrees  of  our  general,  whatever 
they  may  be.  Does  not  he,  do  I  not  daily  make  sacrifices  that 
the  great  end  may  be  accomplished  ?  Did  not  the  great  Bor 
gia  renounce  a  throne,  wife  and  children  ?  Ignatius  every 
comfort,  and  Francis  life  itself  1  Read  your  books.  It  was 
not  for  the  enjoyment  of  a  boon  that,  you  were  nominally  be 
stowed  upon  him — and  it  was  never  regarded  as  a  boon  by 
you.  Start  not — you  see  I  know  every  thing.  He  may  live 
if  he  continues  obedient — and  you  shall  remain  here  if  your 
efforts  prove  successful."  Honoria  bowed,  and  the  Jesuit 
chief  departed. 


WALTER   EECEIVES  A   LETTER    FROM   HOME.       351 


C  H  A  P  T  E  K    XXX. 

WALTER'S    WONDERFUL    ADVENTURES    IN    WASHINGTON— THE 
POLITICAL  PANDEMONIUM. 

DAYS  flew  past,  and  yet  Walter  did  not 'obtain  his  commis 
sion.  The  papers  throughout  the  country  announced  the  ap 
pointment,  and  yet  it  had  not  been  sent  in  to  the  Senate. 
But  the  young  man's  patience  was  not  exhausted.  Honoria 
continued  to  amuse  him  by  day,  and  he  dreamt  of  her  at 
night. 

Nevertheless  there  were  others  who  desired  to  know  some 
thing  in  regard  to  the  state  of  his  affairs ;  and  among  those 
were  his  mother,  and  her  guest,  Virginia  Oakdale.  Walter 
had  written  to  his  mother  but  once  since  his  sojourn  in  Wash 
ington,  and  to  Virginia  not  at  all,  except  in  a  postscript  to  his 
mother's  letter.  And  now,  when  the  second  or  third  letter 
from  his  parent  was  placed  in  his  hands,  it  must  be  owned 
he  did  not  hasten  to  break  the  seal  with  the  same  intensity 
of  affection  he  had  experienced  upon  the  reception  of  the 
first.  She  wrote  thus  : — "  At  Babbleton  we  see  the  papers. 
From  them  we  learn  that  you  have  become  an  official  digni 
tary.  But  we  never  could  have  supposed,  your  exaltation 
would  make  you  forget  your  mother  and  your  friends  so  soon. 
We  thought  at  least  you  would  communicate  the  intelligence 
by  letter,  and  not  leave  us  to  learn  the  fact,  like  the  rest  of 
the  world,  through  the  newspapers.  Still  we  are  rejoiced  at 
your  success,  and  humbly  claim  the  privilege  of  tendering 
our  congratulations. 

"  Would  you  deign  to  read  the  news  here,  if  I  promise  not 
to  be  tedious  ?  Well,  I  promise.  The  mortgage  on  our  house 
and  grounds  has  been  paid.  Will  you  felicitate  me  on  that  ? 
You  must  not  ask  where  the  money  came  from,  for  that  is  a 
secret  upon  which  to  exercise  your  faculty  of  guessing.  But 
that  is  not  all.  Colonel  Oakdale's  debt  to  Roland  has  been 
paid.  That  must  be  news  for  you.  You  would  never  guess 
who  loaned  him  the  money,  and  I  will  tell  you,  so  that  you 
may  pour  out  your  gratitude  to  him  should  your  relations 
with  the  family  of  the  senator — we  have  just  heard  of  his  elec- 


352  THE   WINKLES. 

tion  by  the  Legislature — ever  become  more  ultimate  than 
they  have  been  hitherto.  It  was  John  Dowly,  whom  every 
one  supposed  to  be  in  indigent  circumstances.  Blessings  on 
my  old  beau. 

"  Your  uncle  Napoleon  is  in  a  sad  condition.  Gusset  has 
become  a  perfect  termagant,  and  I  cannot  pardon  her.  She 
keeps  him  pretty  closely  confined  to  the  library,  having  dis 
covered  that  your  grandfather's  will  vests  only  a  life  estate 
in  him  if  he  should  die  without  children ;  and  I  suppose  she 
has  but  slight  hopes  of  cutting  you  off  in  that  way.  Bawson,  the 
Scotch  lawyer,  is  in  frequent  consultations  with  her ;  but  Ser 
geant  Blore  assures  me  the  lawyer  has  been  feed  to  protect 
your  interests.  Your  uncle's  personal  estate  is  large,  and 
would,  I  believe,  in  the  event  of  no  will  being  made,  on  his 
demise,  go  to  his  widow.  The  will  he  signed,  no  doubt  was 
destroyed  by  Gusset,  when  she  learned — and  how  she  learned 
it  is  a  mystery — that  he  had  but  a  life  estate  in  the  land, 

"  The  poor  sergeant  never  comes  into  the  village  until  af 
ter  nightfall,  for  fear  of  meeting  Mrs.  Edwards.  She  beat 
him  up  in  his  quarters  last  week ;  but  he  pointed  a  great  gun, 
and  she  fled.  I  believe  he  would  have  fired.  He  declares  he 
will  never  be  taken  alive. 

"  Bill  Dizzle  still  brings  his  frogs  and  'turtles  '  to  Patty 
O'Pan,  and  they  eat  them  cosily  beside  the  kitchen  fire. 
Whether  they  have  been  married  or  not,  I  am  unable  to  say. 

"  I  suppose  you  correspond  with  Lucy,  and  have  learned 
that  your  Aunt  Blount's  Scotch  housekeeper  has  been  robbing 
her  for  many  years.  The  Arums  and  Crudles  receive  daily 
bulletins  from  New  York.  The  girls  boast  a  great  deal  of 
their  beaus  and  conquests.  Lowe  is  there ;  and  I  believe 
Roland  spends  a  portion  of  his  time  in  that  city. 

"  Now  I  think  you  have  all  the  news.  Virginia  may  ac 
company  her  father  to  Washington  in  a  few  weeks.  She  says 
she  has  no  word  or  message  to  send  you.  She  was  offended 
that  you  did  not  write.  The  lines  intended  for  her  perusal 
in  the  letter  I  received,  she  merely  glanced  at,  saying  she  dis 
liked  the  idea  of  prying  into  other  people's  letters.  If  you 
don't  write  her  immediately,  she  will  inevitably  believe  you 
have  fallen  a  victim  to  some  new  beauty.  Oh,  I  forgot  to 
say  your  highly  esteemed  friend,  Mr.  Snobson,  was  here  the 
other  day.  He  was  merely  passing,  he  said ;  and  so  I  did 
not  introduce  him  to  Virginia.  But  she  introduced  herself — 


ADVENTURE    AT    THE    HOTEL.  353 

the  little  hussy,  and  found  amusement  playing  with  the  poor 
fellow's  heart  as  a  kitten  does  with  a  mouse.  I  hear  nothing 
from  your  aunt  in  Philadelphia,  except  when  Dizzle  occasion 
ally  carries  her  a  brace  of  wild  ducks.  He  says  he  always 
finds  her  at  whist.  Come  home,  or  write  soon. 

"  Your  affectionate  mother, 

"  EDITH  WINKLE." 

Walter  snatched  up  a  pen  to  write  a  scolding  letter  to  Vir 
ginia,  but  threw  it  aside  as  he  heard  the  clock  strike  the  hour 
when  the  doors  of  the  Presidential  Palace  were  to  be  thrown 
open  for  the  reception  of  the  promiscuous  company  that  usually 
resorted  thither. 

As  he  surveyed  himself  in  the  glass,  the  thought  occurred 
to  him  that  it  was  exceedingly  absurd  to  witness  the  decrepit 
senator  of  seven  decades,  bearing  off  the  angelic  Honoria,  while 
he  was  under  the  necessity  of  proceeding  alone,  on  foot,  or 
riding  in  an  omnibus.  He  resolved  it  should  not  be ;  and  he 
quickly  put  in  execution  the  thought  that  flashed  across  his 
mind.  Knowing  the  senator  would  have  to  pass  his  door  be 
fore  descending  to  the  great  hall,  in  front  of  which  his  carriage 
was  in  waiting,  he  determined  to  arrest  his  progress.  He 
emptied  his  ink-bottle  on  some  waste  paper,  and  seizing  a  cord 
which  lay  under  his  bed,  sallied  out  into  the  corridor,  and  tied 
the  ends  to  two  chairs  standing  several  feet  apart.  The  satu 
rated  paper  was  carefully  placed  upon  the  floor,  and  then  he 
hastened  back  to  his  chamber. 

In  a  few  minutes  a  tremendous  racket  was  heard  among  the 
chairs,  with  which  in  the  darkness  the  senator  had  become  in 
extricably  entangled.  In  his  desperate  struggles  several  were 
crushed  to  atoms ;  but  the  cord  being  wound  round  his  legs, 
he  was  thrown  down  upon  the  floor.  Walter  seizing  his  lamp 
rushed  out,  and  found  the  old  gentleman  venting  curses  upon 
the  children  of  the  guests  who  had  been  playing  with  the  chairs 
during  the  day.  Walter  assisted  the  senator  to  rise,  and  con 
ducted  him  into  his  chamber. 

"  I  hope,  sir,  you  have  received  no  injury,"  said  the  young 
rogue. 

"Injury!  Look  at  my  vest!  It  was  white,  sir,  a  few 
minutes  since.  Now  look  at  it !  Look  at  my  hands  !  What 
the  devil  is  it  ?  Ink !  It's  on  my  cravat,  and  my  face ! " 
he  continued,  turning  to  Walter's  glass.  "  Those  mischievous 


354  THE   WINKLES. 

children !  children  at  a  hotel !  I'll  sue  the  landlord  for  damages  ! 
A  senator  to  be  tripped  up  in  this  manner  and  blackened 
with  ink !  It  will  require  a  week's  scrubbing  to  remove  the 
stains  !  The  infernal  children  !  " 

"  It  is  a  great  outrage,  sir  !  "  said  Walter. 

"  It  is,  my  young  friend.  And  I  am  glad  you  regard  it  in 
that  light.  If  any  of  my  mess  were  to  see  me  thus,  and  learn 
the  manner  of  my  fall,  they  would  give  vent  to  explosions  of 
laughter,  and  take  possession  of  my  carriage  and  Honoria  to 
gether.  They  shall  not  see  me.  You  sympathize  with  me 
gravely  and  sincerely,  and  Honoria  I  know  entertains  a  favor 
able  opinion  of  your  merit.  Go  to  her,  and  describe  my  mis 
hap,  but  in  such  a  way  that  nothing  ludicrous  shall  appear  in 
it.  Say  I  will  follow  if  I  succeed  in  removing  these  foul  blots 
from  my  hands  and  face.  Go,  my  young  friend.  The  carriage 
is  at  the  door,  and  the  lady  is  awaiting  me  in  the  parlor." 

Walter  did  not  linger.  Although  surprised,  Honoria  did 
not  appear  to  be  pained  to  learn  that  her  septuagenarian  beau 
was  rendered  incapable  of  accompanying  her  to  the  soiree.  In 
perfect  beauty  and  spirits,  and  flashing  with  diamonds,  she  ac 
cepted  the  arm  of  Walter  and  was  conducted  to  the  carriage, 
when  one  of  the  senator's  men,  who  had  been  sent  thither  for 
the  purpose,  held  open  the  door.  After  requesting  the  coachman 
to  drive  slowly,  Walter  followed  his  precious  charge  into  the 
carriage,  and  occupied  the  seat  at  her  side,  where  she  welcomed 
him  with  a  smile. 

"  Now,"  said  she,  in  a  low  tone,  as  they  moved  slowly 
away,  "  you  must  confess  that  you  had  some  agency  in  pro 
ducing  this  accident" 

"  You  were  the  cause  of  it,"  said  Walter. 

"  I  ?  Oh  I  understand  1  But  you  might  have  seriously 
injured  the  old  gentleman.  It  was  very,  very  naughty  of  you. 
But  as  you  say  I  was  the  cause  of  it,  I  must  forgive  you. 
And  I  must  not  betray  you,  or  you  would  never  have  his  vote 
on  your  nomination." 

"  Ah !  "  said  Walter,  "  it  seems  that  my  appointment  is 
never  to  be  sent  in." 

"  Why  do  they  delay  it  ?  " 

"  It  is  a  mystery — unless  it  may  be  accounted  for  in  the 
withdrawal  of  Plastic's  recommendation.  It  seems  that  I  gave 
him  offence.  But,  still,  the  President,  whom  I  have  seen  since 
then,  assures  me  my  claims,  on  account  of  his  friendship  for 


THE    TEMPTER.  355 

my  father,  and  my  own  merits — the  very  words  he  used — are 
quite  sufficient.  The  difficulty  must  lie  in  the  State  Depart 
ment — but  I  can  learn  nothing  from  the  secretary." 

"  What  does  he  say  ?  " 

"  He  tells  me  to  have  patience,  and  to  come  often  for  in 
structions  in  regard  to  the  duties.  I  am  daily  wasting  the 
precious  hours  over  international  law  and  a  confused  multipli 
city  of  treaty  stipulations,  perhaps  to  no  purpose.  I  have 
heard  of  one  gentleman,  relying  on  their  promises  of  an  ap 
pointment  to  France,  who  spent  several  months  in  learning 
the  French  verbs,  but  at  last  only  travelled  home  in  disgust." 

"  I  wish  I  could  aid  you — but  then  in  the  event  of  another 
such  accident  as  happened  this  evening,  what  should  I  do  ?  " 

"  Every  one  assures  me  your  aid  would  be  effectual. 
And  yet  I  confess  I  should  leave  the  city  with  reluctance. 
But  necessity  knows  no  law,  or  rather  yields  to  no  inclinations, 
and  whether  I  obtain  my  commission  or  not,  I  must  soon  take 
my  leave  of  you." 

"  Indeed !  Why  ?  Are  your  finances  low,  like  those  of 
most  of  the  hangers-on  at  the  capital." 

"  Yes,  truly.  I  think  I  should  have  abandoned  the  pursuit 
of  office  before  this,  if  there  had  been  no  other  attraction." 

"Again  I  am  the  cause!  Well,  it  is  incumbent  on  me 
to  replenish  your  purse.  Have  you  ever  visited  Aurini's 
saloon  ?  " 

"  The  gambling  hell  ?    No  !  " 

"  None  but  gentlemen  are  admitted — and  they  say  none 
but  the  rich  can  lose,  and  their  losses  are  enormous.  What 
becomes  of  the  money  is  a  mystery.  My  husband  has  been  there 
twice  since  we  came  to  Washington,  and  was  both  times  quite 
successful.  He  borrowed  this  ring  of  me,"  she  continued, 
taking  one  from  her  finger  and  placing  it  on  Walter's  hand, 
"  and  pledged  it  for  ten  dollars,  at  the  farthest  table  from  the 
door,  at  the  extreme  end  of  the  room.  He  won  invariably. 
Keep  the  ring  and  test  your  fortune." 

"J.  will  wear  the  ring,"  said  Walter. 

"If  you  do  not  use  it  in  the  manner  my  husband  did,"  said 
Honoria,  "  you  must  return  it  at  the  end  of  three  days.  My 
husband  may  return  ;  and  he  may  have  use  for  it.  He  deems 
it  a  charmed  ring.  The  carriage  stops.  We  are  at  the 
portico." 

They  descended  from  the  carriage,  and  were  swept  along 


356  THE    WINKLES. 

with  the  stream  of  human  beings  into  the  presence  of  the  chief 
Executive  of  the  nation,  who  strode  forward  to  meet  Honoria, 
with  whom  he  exchanged  most  cordial  salutations,  and  upon 
whom  he  bestowed  the  most  flattering  speeches.  He  told  her 
his  own  reign  was  over  for  the  night,  that  he  should  be 
eclipsed  by  a  brighter  luminary,  etc.  Then  turning  to  Walter, 
whose  hand  he  shook  very  heartily,  he  said  :  "  My  young 
friend,  you  have  the  most  potent  advocate  in  the  city.  I  shall 
have  to  invoke  your  influence  with  your  friend  to  induce 
her  to  exercise  her  power  over  the  legislators  for  the  consum 
mation  of  the  great  measures  of  the  government.  Whatever 
she  decrees  must  be  the  law." 

"  I  hope  she  will  have  pity,  then,  on  her  humble  servant," 
said  Walter. 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?"  she  asked,  as  they  emerged  from 
the  circle  round  the  President,  and  moved  away  towards  the 
great  east  room. 

li  Oh,  any  thing  or  nothing.  I  supposed  it  necessary  to 
make  some  response  to  the  President's  nonsense,  and  did  not 
know  exactly  what  I  was  uttering." 

"  I  saw  Father  Xavier  turn  his  piercing  eyes  towards  us. 
He  is  my  confessor.  Be  careful  what  you  say  in  his  hearing 
— and  remember  that  he  sees  and  hears  almost  every  thing.  " 

Walter  was  on  the  eve  of  uttering  a  sarcasm  on  the  priest, 
when  he  perceived  the  Jesuit  had  followed  them,  and  thought 
he  could  discover  a  tremor  in  the  fair  hand  that  lay  upon  his 
arm.  Honoria  sank  on  a  sofa,  and  Walter  was  beckoned  aside 
by  Mr.  Boozle.  The  priest  uttered  a  few  words  in  the  lady's 
ear  and  disappeared  in  the  crowd.  And  then  Honoria  was 
surrounded  by  a  number  of  worshippers.  The  high  official 
dignitaries  of  other  nations,  as  well  as  the  American,  vied  in 
their  adulations.  And  she  surprised  every  one  by  the  extent 
of  her  information.  She  knew  something  of  the  history  of 
every  man  of  mark  who  approached  her ;  of  their  objects, 
their  hopes,  their  fears ;  and  her  witty  repartees  often  con 
cealed  the  most  startling  allusions,  which,  however,  were-  only 
appreciated  by  those  for  whom  they  were  intended.  Sh'e  was 
familiar  with  the  details  of  every  intrigue  for  the  presidency, 
every  stratagem  to  destroy  the  prospects  of  the  most  prominent 
individuals,  and  every  secret  of  diplomacy.  She  knew  also 
the  designs  of  ambitious  mothers,  the  longings  and  aversions 
of  the  smiling  daughters ;  the  chances  of  expectants,  and  the 


AN    AMERICAN    DISQUALIFIED   FOR    OFFICE.        357 

impending  destruction  of  confident  incumbents.  No  wonder, 
then,  that  her  words  were  listened  to  with  the  reverence  of 
oracles  from  the  lips  of  a  pythoness ;  that  her  hostility  should 
be  deprecated,  and  her  favor  implored  by  all. 

Even  Walter,  from  her  supposed  partiality  for  him.  was 
overwhelmed  with  attentions  by  the  greedy  crew  of  minor 
office-seekers. 

"  Mr.  Winkle,"  said  Boozle,  leading  Walter  into  an  ob 
scure  recess,  "  every  body  is  asking  why  the  official  announce 
ment  of  your  confirmation  by  the  Senate  is  delayed." 

"  If  I  knew  the  proper  one  to  interrogate,"  said  Walter, 
I  would  like  to  ask  the  same  question  ;  I  presume,  however, 
my  name  has  not  yet  reached  the  Senate." 

"  No — not  yet.  Do  you  know  how  the  papers  which  havo 
been  announcing  your  appointment  obtained  the  information  ?" 

"  I  do  not.      I  suppose  they  had  it  from  the  Department." 

u  They  are  opposition  papers.  Such  premature  announce 
ments  do  no  good." 

u  I  had  no  agency  in  them.  You  will  please  say  as  much 
for  me  to  the  secretary.  Perhaps  something  of  this  kind  has 
caused  the  delay.  I  am  growing  very  impatient,  and  have  ex 
pended  my  money." 

"  I  am  sure  I  wish  you  had  thousands.  But  you  are  aware 
I  suppose  that  Mr.  Plastic  has  withdrawn ." 

"  I  anticipated  as  much.  He  is  a  man  of  no  weight,  of 
no  importance  whatever  except  in  his  own  estimation ;  and  be 
tween  us,  he  will  never  have  another  opportunity  to  misrepre 
sent  our  people." 

"  Besides,"  continued  the  imperturbable  Boozle,  "  some  ono 
has  informed  the  secretary  that  you  are  a  Native  American." 

"  I  was  not  born  in  Rome.  What  is  the  Secretary  himseli7 
but  a  native  ?  This  is  trifling  with  me  ;  if  such  difficulties  aro 
to  be  trumped  up  to  delay  or  defeat  my  appointment,  I  wil  I 
see  him  to-morrow,  and  know  exactly  what  I  am  to  expect." 

"  What  I  mean  is  that  it  is  intimated  you  are  a  Know 
Nothing.  It  is  true  men  of  all  parties  are  joining  that  secret 
order ;  but  the  organ  of  the  administration  having  taken 
ground  against  it,  the  K.  N's  are  to  be  henceforth  regarded  as 
our  enemies." 

"  That  may  be  the  policy  of  the  administration,  and  I 
shall  say  nothing  in  opposition  to  it.  I  shall  answer  no  ques- 


358  THE   WINKLES. 

tions — I  will  not  be  interrogated  by  any  man  living  in  regard 
to  such  things  as  concern  myself  alone." 

"  Don't  be  hasty.  I  have  not  said  the  secretary  believes 
the  intimation  well  founded " 

"  What  business  is  it  of  the  secretary's  to  believe  or  dis 
believe  any  thing  of  the  sort  concerning  me  ?  I  have  not 
changed  my  principles,  and  do  not  mean  to  change  them.  If 
I  have  sufficient  claims  and  qualifications  for  the  office  I  seek, 
let  him  and  the  President  decide  my  case  on  such  grounds 
alone  ! " 

"  No  doubt  they  will.  But  you  must  admit  they  have 
cause  to  deprecate  the  furious  assaults  daily  formed  in  the 
Know  Nothing  organ.  These  attacks  are  exceedingly  annoy 
ing.  " 

"No  question  of  it.  And  I  think  some  of  them  are  de 
served " 

"  Mr.  Winkle  !  " 

"  You  must  admit  too  many  foreigners  are  permitted  to 
exercise  control.  The  people  will  not  stand  it ;  and  the  ad 
ministration  ought  to  be  warned  in  time." 

"  I  agree  with  you,  to  some  extent.  But  then  the  sting 
ing  ridicule  the  editor  of  the  American  deals  in — the  unlimit 
ed  sarcasms  he  employs — see  !  there  he  is  now — and  he  has 
the  effrontery  to  come  here  with  his  great  blue  goggles  !" 

"  Oh,  my  dear  sir,  this  house  belongs  to  the  people  ;  and 
on  public  occasions  such  as  the  present,  the  President  has  no 
authority  to  exclude  friend  or  foe." 

"  Very  true.  But  still  it  would  be  a  meritorious  action 
to  rebuke  an  enemy  of  the  President " 

"  Undoubtedly  !     In  what  way  do  you  mean  ?" 

"  By  a  chivalrous  act — such  as  your  father  once  per 
formed." 

"  My  father  pulled  some  one's  ^nose  for  slandering  his 
friend." 

"  Yes,  and  that  silenced  and  subdued  the  calumniator. 
Well,  the  President  is  your  friend,  and  the  American,  as  he 
conceives,  slanders  him  daily.  If  you  were  to  make  it  a  per 
sonal  matter,  and " 

"  Get  shot  for  him,  he  would  bestow  the  appointment  on 
me  as  an  equivalent.  Is  that  it  ?  " 

"  Certainly  not !  No  man  was  ever  killed  in  Washington 
by  an  editor.  You  need  have  no  apprehension." 


WALTER   BECOMING   DISGUSTED.  359 

"  Apprehension  ?  I  do  not  understand  you.  Let  mo  havo 
a  just  quarrel — and  I  may  have  one — and  we'll  see  who'll  be 
troubled  with  apprehensions.  I  know  the  editor  of  the  Amer 
ican — and  I  am  satisfied  he  has  a  pacific  disposition.  Why 
the  deuce  don't  your  own  organ-man  resent  some  of  the 
charges  brought  against  the  President  and  himself?  " 

"  I  know  not.     But  will  we  see  you  to-morrow  ?  " 

"  Yes — for  the  last  time,  I  think,  unless  my  matter  be 
promptly  disposed  of." 

They  separated,  and  Walter  approached  as  near  as  he 
could  to  the  great  centre  of  attraction,  the  brilliantly  dia 
demed  Honoria.  She  was  flashing  her  glorious  eyes  at  the 
editor  of  the  American,  who  listened  enraptured  to  her  thrill 
ing  accents.  Walter  perceived  immediately  that  she  had 
some  design  upon  his  friend  ;  and  although  he  might  feel  some 
pricks  of  jealousy,  he  did  not  deem  it  expedient  to  attempt 
an  interposition.  The  editor,  though  evidently  charmed,  was 
not  embarrassed ;  and  when  the  promenade  was  resumed,  the 
queenly  Honoria  took  possession  of  his  arm. 

It  was  quite  late  when  the  discomfited  senator  appeared  : 
but  his  presence  sufficed  to  banish  Walter  from  the  side  of 
the  reigning  belle.  Not  so  with  the  editor  of  the  American. 
Satisfied  he  had  the  approbation  of  the  lady  herself,  all  the 
powers  of  the  government  were  unequal  to  the  task  of  ban 
ishing  him  from  her  presence ;  and  he  stood  at  the  door 
of  the  carriage  and  assisted  her  up  the  steps,  when  she  retired 
from  the  White  House,  although  the  senator  was  a  bitter 
opponent  of  his  party. 

Walter  returned  to  his  lodgings  on  foot,  having  declined 
the  faint  invitation  of  the  senator  to  occupy  a  seat  in  his  car 
riage.  He  found  two  letters  on  his  table.  The  first  he  opened 
was  from  Mr.  Bell,  requesting  him  to  transmit  the  letter  he 
had  received  from  Patrick  McClusky,  that  the  writing  on  the 
back  of  the  lost  check,  which  had  been  found,  might  be  com 
pared  with  it.  He  said  he  entertained  no  doubt  that  Paddy 
was  a  bungling  forger ;  and  although  he  might  not  be  able  to 
convict  him  of  the  offence,  still  he  could  frighten  him  off  the 
list  of  pertinacious  applicants  for  office.  His  aunt  declined 
replacing  the  check,  having  seen  the  announcement  of  his  ap 
pointment  to  a  lucrative  post,  and  supposing  him  to  be  in  no 
need  of  pecuniary  assistance. 

The  other  was  from  his  landlord,  enclosing  his  bill.     Wai- 


360  THE   WINKLES. 

ter  counted  the  few  coins  remaining  in  his  purse,  and  ascer 
tained  that  he  did  not  possess  one  fifth  the  amount  demanded. 
What  was  he  to  do  ?  His  eye  fell  upon  the  ring  which  Ho- 
noria  had  placed  on  his  finger.  He  gazed  at  it  long  in  deep 
abstraction,  and  was  only  awakened  from  his  lethargy  by  the 
returning  consciousness  that  he  was  unable  to  satisfy  his  host's 
demand.  Starting  up,  he  determined  to  go  to  Aurini's.  In 
all  his  life  he  had  never  won  or  lost  a  dollar  in  any  such  estab 
lishment  ;  and  certainly  nothing  less  than  the  instigation  of 
such  a  creature  as  Honoria  could  have  induced  him  to  try  the 
hazard  of  the  game.  But  why  should  he  pledge  the  ring, 
when  he  still  possessed  a  few  coins.  He  looked  at  it  again, 
and  discovered  the  form  of  a  cross  set  in  small  diamonds. 
Was  it  not  abominable  to  use  such  an  emblem  in  such  a  place  ? 
But  Honoria  sanctioned  it,  and  even  seemed  to  require  it. 
Her  will  was  irresistible. 

He  descended  to  the  street,  and  after  striding  but  a  few 
hundred  paces,  found  himself  standing  before  the  dark  en 
trance  to  the  noted  establishment,  which  no  law  could  sup 
press,  and  no  resolution  withstand.  Walter  recollected  the 
word  which  had  been  given  him,  and  repeated  it  at  the  door. 
He  was  admitted,  and  conducted  through  a  long  and  dimly 
lighted  passage.  Then  a  door  on  the  right  was  thrown  open, 
and  he  stood  within  a  brilliantly  illuminated  saloon,  where  the 
tables  were  piled  with  gold,  and  hundreds  were  watching  with 
eager  interest  the  turning  of  the  cards  which  announced  their 
success  or  disaster.  He  paused  for  a  moment,  and  calmly 
surveyed  the  scene.  Among  the  company  he  recognized  faces 
he  had  seen  in  the  halls  of  Congress,  a  member  of  the  Cabi 
net,  several  resident  foreign  ministers  with  numerous  attaches, 
and  a  score  of  comptrollers,  auditors,  clerks  and  messengers. 

Recollecting  his  instructions,  the  young  man  approached 
the  table  at  the  farthest  end  of  the  saloon,  and  exhibited  the 
ring.  At  the  sight  of  it  there  was  some  commotion  among 
the  keepers  of  the  table,  and  a  mysterious  deference  was  mani 
fested  in  their  dealings  with  him.  The  sum  he  named  was 
given  him,  and  every  turn  of  the  cards  announced  him  a  win 
ner  ;  but  it  was  impossible  to  excite  any  emotions  of  cupidity 
in  his  breast.  The  prospect  of  large  gains  was  certainly  in 
viting  ;  and  he  could  have  no  means  of  conjecturing  to  what 
extent  he  might  rely  upon  the  favors  of  fortune.  Nevertheless, 


THE   MAGIC    RING.  361 

he  turned  away  with  a  very  moderate  accumulation,  bearing 
the  redeemed  ring  along  with  him. 

Returned  to  his  lodgings,  he  counted  his  gains,  and  was 
astonished  to  find  he  possessed,  after  deducting  the  amount  of 
his  landlord's  bill,  precisely  the  sum  he  had  counted  on  the 
same  table  the  first  night  of  his  arrival  in  the  city.  It  was  a 
most  extraordinary  coincidence,  and  bootless  was  every  attempt 
to  find  its  solution.  He  repaired  immediately  to  the  office 
below  and  settled  the  bill.  Whether  it  was  the  unexpected 
sight  of  the  money,  or  whether  there  had  really  been  a  mis 
conception  of  the  proprietor's  instructions,  the  clerk  declared 
the  bill  had  been  presented  through  mistake,  and  that  it  might 
remain  unpaid,  if  Mr.  Winkle  desired  it,  until  the  end  of  the 
month.  Walter  did  not  desire  it,  and  hence  it  was  paid. 
But  many  apologies  were  uttered. 

After  a  troubled  sleep,  during  which  Honoria  seemed  to 
guide  his  steps  through  many  perilous  paths,  but  only  to  en 
counter  new  difficulties  and  dangers,  Walter  arose  with  a  half- 
formed  resolution  to  tear  asunder  the  meshes  which  confined 
him,  and  return  to  his  mother  and  the  faithful  Virginia.  Once 
more  only  would  he  apply  at  the  Department ;  after  that,  if 
his  appointment  were  again  postponed  indefinitely,  he  would 
abandon  the  pursuit,  and  seek  some  less  equivocal  means  of 
support. 

In  the  forenoon  he  obtained  an  interview  with  Honoria  in 
her  private  parlor.  She  was  most  elegantly  dressed,  and  said 
she  had  been  expecting  him. 

"  I  desire  merely  to  return  this  ring,"  said  Walter. 

"  Yes,"  said  she,  smiling^  "  I  must  receive  it  back  ;  but  I 
did  not  think  you  would  part  with  it  so  readily.  I  had  hoped 
it  possessed  some  talismanic  virtues." 

"  It  has  performed  its  mission  faithfully.  I  obeyed  your 
instructions,  and  have  now  a  replenished  purse.  But  I  cannot 
touch  the  money  without  experiencing  a  thrill  of  horror." 

"Horror?     Why?" 

"  The  ring  has  restored  the  sum,  exactly,  that  I  counted 
on  my  table  the  day  of  my  arrival  in  the  city." 

"  That  does  seem  to  be  a  singular  circumstance.  Perhaps 
some  one,  unregarded  at  the  time,  saw  you  count  the  money." 

"  An  Irishman  may  have  come  in  to  stir  the  fire,  or  a  maid 
to  sweep  the  hearth,  and  they  might  have  heard  me  name  the 
sum ;  but  who  could  tell  what  would  be  the  amount  of  my 

16 


362  THE    WINKLES. 

landlord's  bill,  or  the  sum  total  of  my  expenditures  in  my 
rambles  about  town  ?  It  was  not  the  work  of  chance.  Nei 
ther  was  it  a  natural  sensation  which  the  exhibition  of  the  ring 
produced  at  the  gaming  table." 

"  You  will  at  least  be  convinced  that  a  Providence  watches 
over  and  protects  you." 

"  I  cannot  avoid  mistrusting  that  Providence  which  would 
consign  me  to  a  hell  for  relief." 

"  Mercy  on  us  !  Do  not  use  profanity.  There  are  many 
things  now  incomprehensible  to  you  which  may  be  explained 
hereafter.  But  your  purse  is  replenished,  and  you  will  not 
he  unhappy  from  the  fear  of  duns." 

"  I  shall,  I  think,  leave  the  city,  to-day." 

"  No  !  Oh  no  !  Do  not  for  my  sake — I  mean  for  your 
own.  Let  me  aid  you.  They  say  I  am  omnipotent  with  the 
predominant  powers." 

"  I  will  go  once  more  to  the  Department.  But  they  shall 
not  any  longer  trifle  with  me.  I  have  neglected  my  duty  to 
my  mother,  and  fear  I  have  offended " 

"  Who  have  you  offended  ?  " 

"  No  matter." 

"  I  know.  I  learned  this  morning  from  one  who  passed 
through  Babbleton  yesterday,  that  Col.  Oakdale  has  been 
elected  senator  on  the  hundredth  ballot.  You  know  I  must 
keep  well  posted  in  such  matters.  And  it  was  the  casting 
vote  of  one  of  the  Babbleton  representatives,  elected  by  your 
famous  speech,  that  gave  the  victory." 

"  I  am  rejoiced  to  hear  it." 

"  I  then  inquired  about  the  colonel's  family,  and  learned 
that  his  only  daughter,  and  only  child,  is  receiving  the  ad 
dresses  of  the  son  of  a  rich  banker." 

"  Your  informant  is  an  impudent  liar !  "  said  Walter, 
starting  up.  "  Snobson  addressing  Virginia  !  " 

a  My  informant  may  have  been  in  error.  But  no  one  can 
be  mistaken  in  attributing  a  cause  for  your  violent  contra 
diction.  Let  us  drop  the  subject.  Why  should  I  be  at  all 
interested  in  the  loves  or  hatreds  of  others  ?  I  shall  send  a 
note  to  the  President  himself,  and  I  desire  you  will  linger 
on  the  way,  and  not  seek  an  interview  with  the  secretary 
until  he  can  have  time  to  hear  from  the  White  House,  if 
indeed  my  poor  interposition  be  destined  to  have  any  effect. 
Farewell,  sir.  I  did  think  I  might  have  the  pleasure  of  your 


A    BAY    OF    HOPE.  363 

attendance  at  the  capital,  after  your  return  from  the  depart 
ment.  But  you  seem  to  be  in  no  complying  humor.  I  am 
sure  I  hope  the  information  respecting  the  new  senator's 
daughter  was  ill  founded." 

"  Pardon  me,  Honoria.  If  it  can  afford  you  pleasure, 
rely  upon  it,  I  will  go  through  flames  to  attend  you." 

"Walter  withdrew  and  strode  slowly  along  the  avenue.  He 
was  soon  overtaken  and  passed  by  Honoria's  messenger. 
When  he  arrived  at  the  Department,  he  sought  a  chair  in  the 
ante-room,  then  crowded  with  applicants  for  the  various  offices 
at  the  disposal  of  the  great  man  at  the  head  of  the  Cabinet. 
But  he  was  soon  found  by  Boozle  and  conducted  into  the 
presence  of  the  secretary,  who  received  him  with  a  smile. 

"  Sit  down,  my  friend,"  said  the  secretary. 

"  Excuse  me,"  said  Walter,  dryly,  determined  no  longer 
to  be  made  a  laughing-stock  of  the  tricky  officials — "  I  have 
but  a  moment  to  stay,  and  this  is  my  final  visit.  If  my  fate 
cannot  be  decided  without  further  delays,  I  shall  desire  to 
withdraw  my  application." 

"  You  must  not  be  too  hasty,  my  young  friend.  Impa 
tience  is  the  evil  of  youth,  and " 

"  Pardon  me,  sir,  for  interrupting  you.     But  first  show  me 
a  necessity  for  it,  and  I  will  match  my  patience  against  the 
endurance  of  the  necessity.     It  is  the  suspense,  the  uncer 
tainty,  the  duplicity " 

"  Well,  well — let  your  doubts  have  a  termination  from 
this  hour.  Here  is  a  note  from  the  President,  demanding  an 
immediate  transmission  to  him  of  your  name.  He  had  for 
gotten  whether  it  was  William  or  Walter.  You  may  be  the 
bearer  of  it  since  it  belongs  to  you." 

"  With  pleasure,  in  the  commission " 

"  Commissions  are  not  sent  to  the  Senate.  It  would  be  a 
waste  of  stationery  where  they  did  not  advise  and  consent  to 
the  appointment.  Merely  the  name  is  sent  in  by  the  Pre 
sident.  After  you  are  confirmed,  then  will  I  have  the  com 
mission  delivered  to  you.  The  messenger  waits.  Will  you 
see  the  President,  or " 

"  I  remember  I  have  an  appointment  with  Mrs.  " 

"Honoria?  Eh?  Boozle,  send  the  note  by  the  messen 
ger,  She  is  a  charming  woman !  And  Senator is  so 

much  infatuated,  as  he  himself  admits,  with  the  music  of  her 
voice,  that  his  casting  vote,  on  all  evenly  contested  questions, 


364  THE    WINKLES. 

seems  to  be  completely  at  her  disposal.     In  that  way  she  may 
serve  you,  and  you  will  do  well  to  secure  her  advocacy.     But 

be  careful   she   does  not  make  a  Catholic  of  you.     Mr. , 

they  say,  has  actually  been  to  mass.     Adieu." 

Walter  hurried  back  to  the  hotel  with  a  smile  on  his  lip, 
and  exultation  in  his  heart.  Honoria's  carriage  was  at  the 
door,  although  the  weather  was  fine  for  walking.  But  she 
insisted  on  Walter's  riding  with  her,  and  they  drove  a  mile 
beyond  the  capitol  before  alighting  at  it.  In  the  rotunda,  on 
the  stairs  and  in  the  galleries,  the  beautiful  creature  received 
the  tributes  of  all  classes  and  sexes,  for  she  was  now  at  the 
summit  of  her  power ;  and  whatever  might  have  been  secretly 
thought  by  the  envious  or  the  considerate,  no  one  ventured  to 
breathe  a  syllable  of  detraction.  The  value  of  her  favor  had 
been  experienced  by  thousands,  and  the  effects  of  her  hos 
tility  had  been  tested  by  not  a  few.  The  marvel  was,  that 
Walter,  whose  appointment  had  been  unofficially  announced, 
had  not  yet  passed  the  Senate. 

That  day  the  Senate  adjourned  at  an  earlier  hour  than 
usual ;  and  upon  the  motion  of  Honoria's  admirer.  One  of 
the  senators  opposed  to  the  motion,  jocosely  attributed  the 
mover's  impatience,  to  the  fact,  that  a  certain  divinity  pre 
sided  in  the  gallery  at  the  other  end  of  the  capitol. 

Walter  relinquished  his  charge  when  the  gallant  old  gen 
tleman  approached,  after  congratulating  him  upon  the  removal 
of  the  blots  of  the  preceding  evening.  The  senator  replied 
that  it  was  truly  an  achievement  for  any  public  man  to  oblit 
erate  entirely  the  foul  stains  of  ink. 

The  same  evening  Walter  was  surprised  by  the  delivery 
into  his  hand  of  a  formidable  envelope,  which  at  first  he  sup 
posed  to  be  his  long-hoped-for  commission ;  but  the  Babbleton 
postmark  being  upon  it  he  was  soon  undeceived,  and  the  throb- 
bings  of  his  heart  were  suddenly  repressed. 

He  tore  open  the  envelope,  and  some  twenty  letters  of  his 
own,  written  to  Virginia,  fell  upon  the  table  !  Then  his  heart 
almost  ceased  to  beat.  What  could  it  mean  ?  He  had  cer 
tainly  not  been  a  voluminous  correspondent  since  his  sojourn 
in  the  Federal  city  ;  but  he  did  not  deem  that  neglect  a  suf 
ficient  provocation  to  have  the  whole  volume  of  his  former 
epistolatory  labors  thrust  back  upon  him. 

On  the  blank  page  of  one  of  the  letters  he  found  the 
following  lines  traced  in  pencil  marks : — "  Henceforth  I  am 


THE   LETTER    OF    DISMISSAL.  365 

to  be  a  stranger  to  the  writer  of  these  letters.  One  who  is  so 
oblivious  of  his  pledges  will  be  relieved,  rather  than  pained 
at  this  absolution,  which  is  meant  to  be  complete  and  irrevo 
cable.  Irrevocable,  because  when  he  shall  prove  false  to  the 
captivating  Honoria,  he  may  attempt  to  become  reconciled  to 
the  one  who  was  the  first  to  listen  to  his  declarations.  V.  O." 

"  The  deuce ! "  cried  Walter,  starting  up  and  traversing 
the  room  rapidly  backwards  and  forwards,  while  his  temples 
burned  and  his  thoughts  boiled  in  inextricable  confusion. 
"  How  has  she  heard  any  thing  in  relation  to  my  intimacy 
with  Honoria  ?  And  what  has  she  heard  ?  Some  infernal 
lie  !  And  at  a  time,  too,  when  she  is  entangling  that  puppy 
Snobson — the  son  of  a  snob !  What  have  I  done  ?  From 
the  President  down  to  the  deputy  postmaster,  all  are  striving 
for  the  smiles  of  Honoria.  She  is  the  most  beautiful — the 
most  intelligent — the  most — but  she's  a  married  woman,  and 
never  was  worth  the  twentieth  part  of  Virginia !  I  have  been 
a  fool — and  Virginia's  a  fool  to  listen  to  such  slanders !  And 
to  send  my  letters  back  on  account  of  a  little  innocent  flirtation 
with  a  married  woman  !  I  won't  explain  any  thing  !  If  she 
can't  ascertain  my  meaning,  and  justify  my  conduct  without 
assistance,  she  may  expire  in  ignorance.  But  if  Snobson 
comes  here  dangling  after  her,  I'll  kick  him  into  the  middle 
of  the  avenue !  If  we  are  to  be  strangers  when  we  meet,  she 
shall  at  least  behold  me  with  the  finest  woman  in  the  city 
leaning  on  my  arm  ! " 

A  note  from  Honoria  was  brought  in  by  a  demure  Irish 
girl.  Walter  glanced  at  it  hastily,  and  immediately  followed 
the  messenger  into  Honoria's  private  parlor,  where  he  found 
the  lady  sitting  alone.  She  pointed  to  an  ottoman  at  her  side, 
and  Walter  threw  himself  on  it. 

"  You  seem  disturbed  in  mind,"  said  she. 

"  I  have  cause  to  be.  Mr. informs  me  that  my  name 

has  not  yet  been  sent  in  to  the  Senate  and  I  hear  from 
home " 

"  What  ?  " 

"  No  matter.     It  is  a  private  affair." 

"  We  are  in  private.  I  am  your  friend,  and,  you  know, 
interested  in  your  affairs." 

"  I  believe  so,  truly,  and  more  extensively  than  you  are 
aware  of !  " 

"  I  do  not  understand  you." 


366  THE   WINKLES. 

"  I  do  not  understand  it  myself.  Your  ring  replenished 
my  purse  ;  your  note  to  the  President  caused  him  to  send  for 
my  name,  and  perhaps  your  old  Senator  may  confirm  my  nom 
ination,  if  it  should  really  be  made.  Your  friendship  has 
lost  me  my  love — the  love  of  Miss  Oakdale,  and  I  don't  see 
how  I  am  to  be  compensated  for  that.  You  should  have  suf 
fered  me  to  depart  without  my  commission,  as  I  shall  proba 
bly  be  compelled  to  do  yet." 

"  Lost  your  love  !     Why  do  you  think  so  ?  " 

"  She  has  returned  my  letters.  She  says  we  are  to  be 
strangers  when  we  meet,  and  she  will  be  here  soon." 

"  She  will  be  reconciled,  when  she  sees  you  avoid  my  com 
pany." 

"  Then  she  shall  look  in  vain,  unless  you  repulse  me.  She 
has  acted  foolishly,  and  ought  to  suffer  for  it — or  rather  un 
dergo  the  penalty  of  making  amends." 

"  I  will  not  avoid  you,  I  think  you  are  right.  I  learn  Col. 
Oakdale  and  his  daughter  will  be  here  to  night." 

"  How  ?     At  this  hotel  ?  " 

"  No.  At  a  private  boarding-house.  Will  your  heart  not 
fail  you  ?  " 

"  It  never  did  yet.     I  think  not." 

"  We'll  soon  see.     But  here  is  company." 

Several  gentlemen  entered,  and  among  them  the  editor  of 
the  administration  journal.  Walter  withdrew,  returning 
coldly  the  salutations  of  the  visitors.  He  thought  it  strange 
that  people  of  all  parties  should  be  seeking  admission  to  Ho- 
noria,  utterly  forgetting  that  he  belonged  to  an  order  avowedly 
hostile  to  the  political  advancement  of  Roman  Catholics. 
Then  he  thought  the  last  number  of  the  American  paper  was 
somewhat  softened  in  its  tone  in  regard  to  the  religion  of 
the  papists  j  admitting  that  there  might  be  angels  of  that 
faith,  and  against  which  war  was  not  to  be  waged.  But  his 
thunders  redoubled  against  the  temporal  power  of  the  Vati 
can  as  exercised  in  Catholic  countries ;  and  against  the  party 
of  the  President,  whose  proclivities  seemed  to  point  towards 
the  Catholic  vote  in  the  United  States. 

The  next  day,  Walter  waited  on  the  President,  and  was 
admitted  by  the  doorkeeper,  who  supposed  that  any  one  on 
terms  of  intimacy  with  the  lady  for  whose  smiles  all  the 
magnates  were  striving,  should  not  be  kept  waiting  at  the 
door  of  the  Executive  palace. 


AN   OLD    FRIEND.  367 

The  President  was  in  an  ill  humor  at  something  he  had 
seen  in  the  papers,  but  strove  to  receive  the  young  man  kindly. 
He  said  he  had  not  sent  in  the  nomination,  for  the  reason 
that  a  great  many  appointments  remained  unacted  on  before 
the  Senate  and  they  were  taken  up  according  to  their  dates. 
It  would  be  useless  to  crowd  the  tables  with  new  names,  while 
the  old  ones  had  not  received  attention.  And  he  exhorted 
his  young  friend  to  have  patience.  His  turn  would  come. 
If  any  thing  occurred  to  frustrate  his  intention,  it  would  be 
announced  to  him,  &c.  Walter  bowed,  and  retired  in  silence. 


CHAPTEE   XXXII. 

WALTER'S  DIPLOMACY  IN  PEISON. 

WALTER  determined  not  to  be  importunate.  He  had  obtained 
many  promises  from  the  men  in  power — and  if  they  had  the 
slightest  regard  for  their  honor,  he  could  not  be  much  longer 
kept  in  suspense.  For  several  days  he  did  nothing  but 
attend  Honoria,  who  seemed  to  demand  more  of  his  time  than 
ever,  and  to  exert  her  blandishments  to  banish  the  idea  he 
entertained  of  leaving  the  city,  in  the  event  of  a  disappointment. 

The  first  intimation  that  Walter  had  of  the  arrival  of 
Colonel  Oakdale  and  Virginia,  was  from  the  newly-elected 
senator  himself.  He  was  promenading  along  the  avenue  in 
company  with  Honoria,  when  a  carriage  drove  slowly  by,  from 
which  he  heard  his  own  name  uttered,  and  the  next  moment 
the  colonel's  head  was  thrust  out  of  the  window. 

"  How  are  you,  Walter,  my  boy?  "  cried  the  colonel.  u  I 
am  sent  for  by  the  President,  and  will  know  why  your  name 
has  not  been  laid  before  the  Senate.  Why  don't  you  come 
and  see, us?  We  have  been  here  two  days.  I  would  have 
been  in  my  seat  last  week,  but  I  could  not  leave  that  flock  of 
partridges,  in  the  old  stubble  field.  Remember,  mum's  the 
word  about  the  woodcock  !  What  are  you  hiding  for,  Virginia? 
Come  and  see  us,  Walter.  I  have  a  great  deal  to  tell  you. 
Good  day.  Now  drive  rapidly,  Jarvie!"  The  next  moment 


368  THE   WINKLES. 

the  horses  were  flying  along  the  avenue,  and  Walter  did  not 
have  an  opportunity  to  utter  a  word  in  reply. 

"  That  was  Virginia,"  said  Honoria. 

"  No.     It  was  Colonel  Oakdale,"  said  Walter. 

"  I  saw  a  green  bonnet,  and  a  beautiful  little  nose." 

"  Then  it  was  Virginia  !  I  thought  I  heard  him  mention 
her  name.  And  she  would  not  speak  to  me  !  " 

"  Her  father  did  not  give  her  an  opportunity.     What  a 

pity  ! " 

"  Why  does  she  treat  me  thus  ?  What  have  I  done  to 
deserve  it  ?  " 

"  You  have  offended  her,  by  your  attentions  to  me.  You 
seem  distressed." 

"  I  am  melancholy.  Has  she  not  been  attended  to  by  that 
son  of  a  snob  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  suppose  so !  And  are  you  not  angry  with  her 
for  it  ?  " 

"  Certainly  not.  But  I  will  break  his  bones  if  he 

Pshaw  !  nonsense  !  I  will  see  her  to-day,  or " 

"  What  ?  " 

"  Go  home,  and  become  a  candidate  for  Congress  at  the 
next  election.  And  I  will  beat  Plastic.  Then  the  President 
and  his  secretary  shall  hear  my  thunder !  " 

"  You  frighten  me !  Perhaps  your  nomination  will  be 
decided  to-day.  Then  you  could  not  leave  immediately. 

And  when  you  do  leave,  my  old  friend will,  I  think, 

rejoice ! " 

"  Do  you  know  he  is  my  friend  ?  He  pledged  me  his  word 
this  very  morning,  that  he  would  vote  for  me  even  if  I  were 
to  avow  myself  an  American,  and  a  protestant.  Think  of 
that,  ye  foreigners  and  papists  ! " 

"  I  shall  have  to  torture  him  !  But  here  we  are  in  front 
of  the  hotel,  and  there  is  my  senator  to  receive  me  from  your 
hands." 

Walter  strode  away,  and  walked  in  solitude  an  hour  on 
the  common.  Returning,  he  met  one  of  the  carriers  of  the 
government  newspaper,  whom  he  had  seen  deliver  the  paper 
at  the  hotel.  From  him  he  learned  that  the  sheet  was  left  at 
Mrs.  Z's,  on  F.  street,  for  the  Honorable  Mr.  Oakdale,  and 
thither  he  repaired,  supposing  Virginia  might  have  been  put 
down  there  by  her  father,  or  that  they  might  have  had  time 
to  return  from  the  presidential  mansion. 


A   VISIT   TO   MISS   OAKDALE.  369 

Walter  rang,  and  asked  the  boy  for  Colonel  Oakdale. 

"  He  has  just  left  for  the  capitol.  He  merely  stopped  a 
moment  on  his  return  from  the  President's." 

"Is  Miss  Oakdale  in?" 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Give  her  that  card,  and  say  I  should  be  happy  to  see 
her." 

The  boy  disappeared,  but  returned  in  a  few  moments  after 
with  an  altered  countenance. 

"  She  says  she  is  indisposed,  sir — not  ill,  but " 

"What?"  demanded  Walter. 

"  I  am  sure  I  do  not  know,  sir ;  but  she  ordered  me  to  re 
turn  the  card." 

Walter  turned  away  abruptly  in  a  whirl  of  contending 
passions,  and  never  paused  until  he  sat  down  at  the  table  in 
his  room.  He  wrote  a  most  impassioned  letter  to  Virginia, 
imploring  her  to  inform  him  what  it  was  in  his  conduct  which 
had  offended  her.  He  declared  most  solemnly  that  his  object 
and  purpose  in  cultivating  the  friendship  of  Mrs.  Finable — ho 
did  not  write  Honoria — was  solely  to  secure  her  co-operation 
in  obtaining  his  appointment,  and — he  confessed  it — to  gratify 
his  vanity  in  monopolizing  as  much  of  her  attention  as  possi 
ble  in  public,  because  the  most  distinguished  men  in  the 
Union  were  competing  for  her  smiles.  Nothing  more,  as 
heaven  was  his  witness  !  And  he  adjured  Virginia  to  re-con 
sider  her  decision,  and  grant  him  an  interview,  when  he 
pledged  himself  to  explain  every  thing  to  her  satisfaction. 
He  likewise  reminded  her  of  his  innocence  when  censured  on 
a  former  occasion,  and  declared,  if  she  would  only  hear  him  in 
his  defence,  he  would  again  be  vindicated  in  her  estimation. 

This  letter  he  dispatched  immediately,  and  directed  the 
servant  to  wait  for  an  answer.  He  then  joined  Honoria  in 
her  private  parlor,  where  there  were  several  senators  and  their 
wives  and  daughters  engaged  in  a  lively  conversation. 

"  Have  you  seen  her?"  asked  Honoria,  in  a  low  tone, 
when  one  of  the  ladies  sat  down  to  the  piano. 

«  No— but  I  think  I  will,  soon." 

"  I  doubt  it,"  said  she,  in  a  brief  pause  of  the  conversation, 
which  she  had  the  faculty,  it  was  said,  of  maintaining  with 
half  a  dozen  at  the  same  time,  and  on  different  subjects. 

Presently  the  messenger  made  his  appearance  at  the  door 
and  sent  in  a  letter  to  Walter. 
16* 


370  THE   WINKLES. 

'•  You  may  break  the  seal  here,"  said  Honoria,  in  a  side 
speech. 

Walter  did  so,  and  his  own  letter — the  seal  unbroken — fell 
from  the  envelope.  He  stooped  down  and  lifted  it  from  the 
floor. 

"  Stooping  makes  one's  blood  rush  to  the  face,"  said  Ho 
noria,  archly.  "  And  afterwards  the  reaction  produces  a 
paleness." 

"  I  am  calm,"  said  "Walter. 

"  And  determined  ?  " 

"  Ay,  determined."  And  seizing  the  first  opportunity,  he 
locked  himself  up  in  his  room  and  bestowed  extraordinary 
pains  in  the  adornment  of  his  person.  He  was  determined 
to  appear  in  hilarious  spirits  at  the  secretary's  reception  that 
night,  where  he  would  meet  with  Virginia  and  Houoria,  He 
would  confide  in  his  aged  friend,  the  noble  old  senator,  who 
would  not  hesitate  to  co-operate  with  him  in  the  execution  of 
his  capricious  scheme. 

Twice  he  was  startled  by  messages  from  Honoria,  who 
seemed  to  comprehend  what  had  taken  place,  and  perhaps 
thought  he  might  perpetrate  some  desperate  deed.  He  sent 
her  word  that  so  far  from  being  ill,  he  was  merely  making  his 
toilet  for  the  purpose  of  attending  the  secretary's  party, 
whither  he  hoped  to  be  permitted  to  accompany  her  in  Senator 
's  coach. 

There  were  nearly  seven  hundred  people  at  the  secretary's 
party,  all  crammed  within  a  private  mansion  of  the  ordinary 
size.  But  room  was  made  every  where  for  Honoria,  who  was 
never  separated  far  from  Walter. 

"  Walter  !  "  cried  Col.  Oakdale,  who,  with  Virginia  hang 
ing  on  his  arm,  confronted  our  hero  in  the  midst  of  the  saloon, 
and  that  too  when  all  eyes  were  on  them,  "you  are  the 
luckiest  of  my  constituents.  Introduce  me.!' 

Walter  did  so. 

"  Now,  Virginia — where  is  she  ?  "  she  had  escaped,  and 
taken  refuge  with  the  secretary's  lady,  who  perceived  her  em 
barrassment,  and  came  to  her  relief.  "  Well,  my  young 
gentleman  "  continued  the  colonel,  "  if  you  do  not  obtain  ad 
vancement,  with  your  good  fortune  and  address,  I  am  no 
prophet.  I  congratulate  you  with  all  my  heart." 

"  I  thank  you,  sir,"  said  Honoria. 

"  Why,  I  have  only  bowed  to  you.     My  speech  was  ad 


THE  PARTY  AT  THE  SECRETARY'S.       371 

dressed  to  the  lucky  fellow  at  your  side.  But  the  ladies, 
somehow,  continue  to  intercept  all  the  compliments.  Yet  I 
warn  you  to  beware  of  the  new  rival.  Do  you  not  see  the 
crowd  of  adorers  at  the  other  end  of  the  room  ?  This  young 
gentleman,  if  there  has  been  no  rupture  between  them,  of 
which  I  know  nothing " 

"  Know  Nothing  ?  "  iterated  Honoria. 

"  Come,  come,  no  politics  with  me.  I  abhor  them.  This 
young  gentleman,  I  say,  will  soon  be  bowing  among  her  wor 
shippers,  but  not  to  perish  there." 

"  There  is  a  prediction  for  you,"  said  Honoria  to  "Walter, 
when  the  colonel  moved  away. 

"  Alas,  not  to  be  fulfilled,"  was  the  response. 

Again,  in  the  counter-currents  of  promenades  Walter  con 
fronted  Virginia,  and  endeavored  to  speak  to  her,  but  in  vain, 
for  she  averted  her  face  and  laughed  very  heartily  at  some 
remark  of  Mr.  Ponsonby,  the  British  Secretary  of  Legation. 
And  indeed  almost  the  entire  diplomatic  corps  seemed  to  fol 
low  the  new  beauty  whithersoever  she  moved ;  and  a  close 
observer  might  have  detected  a  slight  elongation  of  the 
features  of  Honoria,  at  the  rapid  progress  of  her  rival.  In 
every  direction  she  heard  the  praises  of  Virginia ;  and  for  the 
first  time  during  the  gay  season  she  perceived  she  was  reign 
ing  over  a  divided  empire.  Nevertheless  she  was  not  neglected 
by  the  seekers  of  ofiice,  or  the  bestowers  of  it.  The  Presi 
dent  himself  detained  her  several  minutes,  until  he  could 
deliver  a  paragraph  of  praises  ;  and  there  were  ten  or  fifteen 
senators  engaged  in  the  gallant  enterprise  of  an  attempt  to 
supplant  her  old  beau. 

Walter  was  particularly  distinguished  by  the  cordial  salu 
tations  of  the  chief  executive  officer,  which  he  thought  might 
be  interpreted  as  a  good  augury. 

At  length  Honoria.  whether  really  unwell  as  she  alleged, 
or  conscious  of  being  abandoned  by  half  the  multitude  for 
the  superior  blandishments  of  the  new  belle,  was  to  remain 
an  unfathomable  secret :  but  she  quietly  withdrew,  and  re 
linquished  the  field  to  her  competitor.  And  she  insisted  on 
being  accompanied  by  Walter,  who  was  more  active  than  the 
aged  senator,  and  might  withdraw  without  incurring  the  im 
putation  of  perpetrating  a  breach  of  etiquette.  And  when 
he  had  deposited  his  charge  at  the  hotel,  to  avoid  a  violation 
of  propriety,  and  to  enable  his  senatorial  friend  to  reach  his 


372  THE   WINKLES. 

lodgings,  it  was  necessary  for  him  to  return  in  the  carriage  to 
the  secretary's  mansion. 

Enfranchised  from  the  captivating  thraldom  of  Honoria, 
Walter  promenaded  the  halls  and  saloons  in  quest  of  Virginia. 
He  found  her — but  she  would  not  recognize  him.  Yet  he, 
who  knew  her  so  well,  and  could  read  her  countenance  so  ac 
curately,  did  not  fail  to  perceive  that  her  mind  was  troubled, 
and  that  her  heart  was  ill  at  ease,  even  under  the  incessant 
flow  of  Ponsonby's  flatteries.  And  Ponsonby,  although  the 
son  of  an  Earl,  inspired  no  fears  in  his  bosom.  Ponsonby  was 
but  a  noble  in  Great  Britain — Winkle  a  sovereign  in  America. 

But  Winkle  retraced  his  steps,  alone,  to  his  hotel,  while 
Ponsonby  conducted  to  her  home  the  senator's  lovely  daugh 
ter.  And  Walter  passed  an  uneasy  night  in  a  boundless  sea 
of  conjecture,  endeavoring  in  vain  to  foresee  the  end  and 
consummation  of  the  drama  in  which  he  felt  he  was  one  of 
the  principal  actors. 

The  next  morning,  as  usual,  he  was  summoned  to  appear 
before  Honoria  in  her  parlor.  She  stood  beside  her  mirror, 
pale,  and  a  tear  glistening  in  her  eye. 

"  What  has  happened,  Honoria  ?  "  demanded  Walter,  grave 
ly,  and  with  some  symptoms  of  impatience. 

"  Oh,  it  is  outrageous  !"  said  she.  "  They  have  deceived 
you  vilely.  Read  the  paper.  But  restrain  your  anger." 

Walter  ran  his  eye  along  the  editorial  column  of  one  of 
the  government  journals,  and  was  surprised  to  find  his  own 
name  at  the  head  of  a  paragraph,  as  follows : — 

"  MR.  WALTER  WINKLE. — The  public  cannot  have  failed 
to  see  this  gentleman's  name  going  the  rounds  of  the  press, 
in  connection  with  the  appointment  of  a  new  consular  agent 
at  the  port  of  London.  Whence  the  letter  writers  obtained 
their  information,  it  is  not  material  to  inquire.  That  all  ap 
pointments  really  made,  first  appear  in  the  columns  of  the  ad 
ministration  papers,  and  Mr.  W.'s  name  not  having  been  trans 
mitted  to  us,  is  alone  a  sufficient  contradiction  of  the  rumor. 
But  we  deem  it  proper  to  say,  that  the  fact  of  Mr.  W.  being 
one  of  the  fraternity  of  N.  A,'s,  so  generally  hostile  to  the 
administration,  would  render  it  both  impolitic  for  the  Presi 
dent  to  bestow,  and,  under  the  circumstances,  in  our  opinion 
dishonorable  in  Mr.  W.  to  receive,  any  such  mark  of  distinc 
tion.  It  is  not,  therefore,  at  all  probable  his  name  will  be 


WALTER   SEEKS   REDRESS.  373 

transmitted  to  the  Senate  by  the  present  incumbent  of  the 
presidential  office." 

"  I  entreat  you  to  restrain  any  violent  passion  that 
may — " 

"  I  am  perfectly  calm,"  said  Walter  smiling.  "  I  am  glad 
the  mists  have  broken  away  at  last,  and  I  can  see  the  land. — • 
I  rejoice  at  it.  I  will  be  guilty  of  no  such  extravagance  as 
the  outburst  of  violent  passion  you  seem  to  have  anticipated. 
The  man  of  imperturbable  deliberation  is  the  most  dangerous 
— and  I  feel  that  they  have  roused  an  enemy  whose  resources 
they  have  had  no  means  of  correctly  estimating.  Do  you 
know  that  one  of  the  creatures  of  the  Executive  once  intima 
ted  that  I  might  render  a  service  to  the  administration  by 
fighting  a  duel  with  the  editor  of  the  American  journal  ?  I 
thank  him  for  that  word  !" 

"  I  did  not  suggest  it — I  did  not  sanction  it." 

"  No  one  could  suppose  such  a  thing,  Honoria.  But  in  that 
case  there  was  no  provocation.  In  this " 

"  There  is  insult  and  injury !  It  cannot  be  denied — it 
cannot  be  concealed !" 

"  True — very  true.  You  will  not  betray  me,  Honoria  ? 
You  will  grant  this  my  earnest  request,  that  you  will  not  thwart 
my  just  intention  to  demand  satisfaction?  You  are  silent. 
Why  should  you  interfere  ?  All  hope  of  my  appointment  is 
at  an  end.  The  paragraph  was  written  at  the  White  House. 
This  business  with  the  editor  alone  detains  me  in  the  District 
— and  we  may  never  meet  again.  As  my  last  request,  I  ask 
that  you  will  not  interfere." 

"  I  will  not." 

"  I  thank  you.     Remain  at  home  to-day." 

"I  will." 

Walter  withdrew  to  his  chamber,  and  wrote  as  follows  to 
the  editor : 

"  SIR: — The  article  in  your  paper  in  reference  to  myself, 
being  evidently  prepared  with  no  design  of  future  explanation 
and  amicable  adjustment,  there  is  no  other  alternative  left  me 
but  to  demand  the  satisfaction  which  every  gentleman  has  a 
right  to  require  of  the  one  who  has  injured  him.  This  it  is 
my  intention  to  do,  as  soon  as  I  arrive  at  Bladensburg,  which 
will  be  as  quickly  as  the  fleetest  horses  I  can  procure  may 
transport  me  thither ;  and  whither  you  will  doubtless  likewise 
repair  without  delay." 


374  THE   WINKLES. 

This  note  was  despatched  by  one  of  the  servants  of  the 
hotel  to  the  office  of  the  editor,  with  directions  to  wait  for 
an  answer.  Walter  intended  to  escape  from  the  District  be 
fore  consulting  any  friend,  or  even  procuring  weapons,  relying 
upon  the  chances  of  obtaining  them  after  passing  beyond  the 
limits  of  the  jurisdiction  of  the  authorities  of  the  District. 

But  when  he  was  in  consultation  with  the  book-keeper  of 
the  hotel,  in  reference  to  a  carriage,  the  messenger  he  had 
sent  to  the  printing  office  returned,  accompanied  by  two  offi 
cers  of  the  marshal,  who  immediately  arrested  our  hero  ! 

"  You  pronounce  me  your  prisoner,"  said  Walter.  ll  I  have 
no  means  of  resistance,  and  must  submit.  But  may  I  not 
ask  upon  whose  motion  or  information  you  proceed  ?  " 

"  Certainly.  The  messenger  placed  the  note  in  the  hands 
of  the  marshal  himself." 

"  Michael !"  said  Walter,  "  why  did  you  act  thus  ?  " 

"  Sure  I  wouldn't  say  so  handsome  a  gintleman  going  out 
with  nasty  pistols  to  be  shot !  " 

"Enough,  sir  !  Gentlemen,  do  your  duty;  but  beware  you 
do  not  transcend  it." 

"  We  know  the  law,  sir.  You  must  come  with  us  to  the 
magistrate's  office." 

And  Walter  was  not  ignorant  of  the  law,  nor  in  doubt  as 
to  his  future  course  of  conduct.  He  therefore  asked  and  ob 
tained  permission  to  spend  a  short  time  in  his  own  chamber, 
attended  by  an  officer,  while  he  arranged  his  trunk,  as  if  for 
its  removal.  He  returned  to  the  office  of  the  hotel,  paid  his 
bill,  and  left  instructions  for  his  baggage  to  be  sent  after  him. 
He  then  stepped  into  a  hack  with  the  officers,  and  they  were 
driven  to  the  magistrate's  office. 

The  news  of  the  projected  duel  and  the  arrest  of  one  of 
the  parties,  soon  spread  over  the  city,  and  was  immediately 
circulated  in  both  houses  of  Congress.  So  that  before  Wal 
ter  had  been  many  minutes  in  the  office  of  the  magistrate,  he 
was  surrounded  by  a  large  crowd  of  people,  a  majority  being 
his  friends — at  least  they  were  Native  Americans. 

The  magistrate,  before  whom  the  note,  which  fortunately 
was  not  quite  a  challenge,  was  laid,  stated  that  he  had  but  one 
course  to  pursue,  and  he  could  not  hesitate  to  perform  his 
duty.  The  prisoner  not  having  employed  counsel,  or  offered 
any  reasons  himself  why  it  should  not  be  supposed  it  was  his 
purpose  to  violate  the  law,  it  only  remained  for  him  to  require 


WALTER   DECLINES   PROFFERED   AID.  375 

a  bond  with  sufficient  sureties  for  the  maintenance  of  the  peace 
during  the  next  six  months.  He  would  therefore  fix  the  sum 
at  $5,000. 

Many  persons  volunteered  to  become  Walter's  sureties, 
and  among  them  were  Col.  Oakdale  and  the  editor  of  the 
American  journal. 

"  No,  gentlemen,"  said  Walter,  firmly.  "I  thank  you; 
but  I  must  decline  your  kindness.  I  believe  that  the  position 
in  which  I  find  myself  is  the  result  of  a  conspiracy.  Many 
things  which  have  occurred  to  my  mind  during  the  last  few 
minutes,  induce  the  conviction  that  this  whole  proceeding  is 
in  accordance  with  a  premeditated  purpose.  My  name  has 
been  used  in  the  papers  without  any  agency  on  my  part,  and 
the  notoriety  attending  my  presence  in  this  city,  has  been  en 
tirely  the  work  of  others.  Those  who  have  been  instrumental 
in  bringing  me  hither,  to  subserve  some  purpose  of  their  own, 
must  have  anticipated  the  tenders  of  my  friends  to  become 
my  securities  in  a  bond  to  keep  the  peace.  Now,  believing, 
I  say,  that  this  whole  business  is  in  pursuance  of  a  plot,  I  am 
not  disposed  to  co-operate  with  my  enemies  in  the  fulfilment 
of  their  objects.  They  have  mistaken  their  man,  and  the  re 
sult  may  not  be  precisely  such  as  they  anticipated.  I  will 
not  give  bail.  I  do  not  desire  any  friend  to  be  my  surety. 
[  will  not  even  promise  to  maintain  the  peace,  when  I  meet 
with  any  of  my  enemies." 

"  Then  you  will  have  to  go  to  prison,"  said  the  magistrate. 

"  I  did  not  suppose  the  prison  would  have  to  come  to  me," 
replied  Walter.  But  I  hope  your  honor  will  provide  me  as 
comfortable  an  apartment  as  may  be  consistent  with  duty." 

"  That  must  rest  with  the  keeper.  I  believe  he  is  not  hard 
hearted.  But  why  you  can  desire  to  go  there,  when  there  is 
an  opportunity  to  avoid  the  incarceration,  surpasses  my  power 
of  conjecture." 

"  Doubtless  it  does.  If  my  object  were  apparent,  it  would 
cease  to  be  a  counter-plot.  But  no  one,  I  think,  will  attribute 
my  conduct  to  any  unworthy  motive.  I  do  not  seek  protection 
from  the  assaults  of  my  enemies,  else  these  proceedings,  if  not 
extrajudicial,  would  at  least  be  supererogatory." 

Walter  bowed  to  the  officers  who  had  conducted  him  from 
the  hotel,  and  signified  his  readiness  to  repair  to  the  place  of 
confinement.  He  was  driven  to  prison,  and  upon  the  representa 
tions  of  the  officers,  was  accommodated  with  a  comfortable  room. 


376  THE  WINKLES. 

Boozle,  who  had  been  present  at  the  office  of  the  magistrate, 
hastened  away  to  the  President  to  announce  the  extraordinary 
turn  the  affair  had  taken. 

"  Gone  to  prison  !  "  exclaimed  the  President.  "  What  doea 
he  mean  ?  " 

"  He  declined  giving  his  reasons,  sir." 

"  This  will  never  do  !  It  will  produce  such  a  commotion 
in  the  city,  and  throughout  the  country,  as  no  administration 
can  withstand.  We  shall  be  condemned !  Sent  to  prison  for 
resenting  such  an  assault  in  our  paper,  and  after  our  promises  1 
It  will  never  do !  I  shall  have  my  southern  friends  battering 
at  the  door.  Confound  the  Jesuits  !  I  hope  none  of  them 
hear  me,  however.  But  this  is  likely  to  become  a  serious  mat 
ter.  Go  to  the  secretary,  Boozle,  and  beg  him  to  come  here. 
Shortly  afterwards  the  secretary  made  his  appearance. 

"  Ah !  This  is  a  bad  business  of  Winkle's,"  said  the  Pres 
ident.  "  It  would  have  been  better  to  have  had  him  disposed 
of  in  the  Senate  !  " 

"  But  he  would  have  been  confirmed,"  said  the  Secretary. 
"  Our  old  friend  had  become  so  partial  to  the  young  fellow, 
that  he  swore  he  would  vote  for  him  in  defiance  of  every  thing." 

"  Even  that  would  have  been  preferable  ;  but  why  was  he 
assailed  in  the  paper  ?  " 

"  The  paragraph  was  dictated  by  Mrs.  Fimble  herself,  and 
his  arrest  was  her  stratagem.  But  she  never  could  have  fore 
seen  that  he  would  go  to  prison  !  She  thought  no  doubt  that 
he  would  give  security,  and  still  walk  the  streets  with  her.  In 
short,  that  she  was  prolonging  his  abode  in  the  city,  which,  I 
believe,  was  particularly  desired  by  her." 

"  There  may  be  something  in  that ;  for,  instrument  of  the 
Jesuits  as  she  is,  I  doubt  whether  she  could  wantonly  afflict 
the  handsome  fellow  whom  she  seems  to  delight  in  having  con 
tinually  at  her  side,  without  some  selfish  motive  at  the  bottom 
of  it.  Well,  I  hope  you  will  negotiate  me  out  of  the  difficulty. 
You  have  plenary  powers,  and  she  has  beauty." 

"  I  will  have  him  out  of  prison  within  forty-eight  hours, 
or  there  is  no  skill  in  diplomacy,  or  virtue  in  beauty." 

"  And  the  latter  is  a  controverted  point.  Good  day, 
sir." 

The  secretary  drove  down  to  the  hotel,  and  demanded  an 
interview  with  Honoria,  but  was  denied !  She  was  ill,  really 
ill,  and  could  see  no  one.  He  then  returned  to  his  office,  and 


EXPERIENCE   IN   PRISON.  377 

had  a  long  consultation  with  Boozle,  with  whom  he  concerted  a 
plan  of  liberation. 

Meantime  the  excitement  in  the  city  grew  very  intense. 
An  American  was  victimized.  The  son  of  a  late  member  of 
Congress,  the  author  of  the  unique  speech  against  the  innova 
ting  fanatics,  the  gallant  beau,  the  chivalrous  descendant  of  a 
brave  officer,  was  incarcerated  in  a  vile  prison !  Every  lady 
who  had  seen  him  was  a  sympathizer,  and  the  influence  of  the 
ladies  is  never  contemptible  at  the  capital. 

During  the  day  more  than  a  hundred  persons  called  upon 
the  prisoner  to  express  their  concern,  and  to  offer  their  services 
in  any  way  he  might  see  proper  to  command  them.  But  his 
resolution  was  not  to  be  shaken,  and  nothing  could  induce  him 
to  comply  with  the  prescribed  forms  of  enfranchisment. 

At  night,  not  less  than  a  dozen  sumptuous  repasts  were 
sent  him,  borne  by  servants  in  livery,  which,  after  appropria 
ting  to  himself  the  beautiful  bouquets  that  accompanied  them, 
he  distributed  among  his  fellow-prisoners  in  the  other  apart 
ments. 

He  had  lights,  books,  and  a  comfortable  fire,  for  one  of  the 
keepers  was  an  American.  But  before  he  had  plunged  deeply  in 
to  a  volume,  Col.  Oakdale  was  announced.  Walter  threw 
down  the  book,  and  grasped  the  hand  of  his  old  friend. 

"  You  seem  comfortable  here,  Walter,"  said  the  senator, 
sitting  in  front  of  the  cheerful  fire  and  looking  round. 

"  Quite  so,  colonel.     But  still  it  is  a  prison." 

"  Yes.  And  I  cannot  imagine  why  you  will  persist  in  re 
maining  in  it,  when  you  might  go  forth." 

.  "  It  is  a  stroke  of  my  diplomacy,  colonel — -and  you  will,  I 
think,  in  the  end,  admit  it  to  have  been  a  skilful  one." 

"Gad,  you  have  wine  here.  Who  furnishes  it?  It  is 
good,  too,"  he  continued,  as  he  drank  a  glass. 

"  It  is  excellent.  I  do  not  know  the  generous  donor.  Every 
hour  something  of  the  sort  arrives,  and  from  unknown  hands." 

"  Flowers,  too !  They  come  from  some  lady's  hand. 
Virginia  must  know  it !  But,  Walter,  she  has  a  dreadful 
headache  to-night,  and  couldn't  go  to  the  party,  and  that  is  the 
reason  I  came  to  spend  the  evening  with  you." 

"  Did  she  request  you  to  come  ? "  asked  the  young  man 
quickly. 

"  No — not  exactly.  But  when  I  said  I  was  resolved  to 
come,  she  seemed  something  better." 


378  THE   WINKLES. 

"  And  she  did  not  object  to  it  ?  " 

"  Object  to  it  ?  Certainly  not !  Why  do  you  grasp  my 
arm  ?  Oh,  there  is  some  quarrel  between  you  !  Make  it  up, 
make  it  up,  and  leave  this  place.  Then  kiss  and  be  friends. 
Roland  is  off  the  track,  and  you  may  improve  your  time.  I 
shall  not  forbid  it.  What !  tears  ?  Why,  what  the  deuce  is 
the  matter  with  the  fellow  ?  " 

"  I  have  been  a  fool.     And  she  was  too  hasty." 

"  Of  course  you  have — of  course  she  was.  What  else 
could  be  expected  ?  But  I  came  to  tell  you  of  some  fine  shots 
I  made " 

"  I  could  explain  every  thing  if  she  would  but  hear  me " 

"  Wouldn't  she  hear  you  ?  You  know  how  far  it  is  from 
the  old  pear  tree  to  the  fence " 

"  She  would  not  see  me-r— and  she  returned  my  letters." 

<:  I'll  talk  about  that  when  I'm  done.  It  was  under  the 
pear  tree.  Dash  was  leaping  briskly  ahead  when  he  nosed 
the  bird.  He  paused  so  suddenly  that  he  turned  a  somer 
set  !  But  you  are  not  listening — at  least  not  enjoying  my 
tale.  I  will  reserve  it  for  another  time.  Now  what  about 
Virginia  ?  " 

"  I  fear  some  one  has  been  slandering  me." 

"  Pooh  !  A  fit  of  jealousy.  That's  all.  And  no  wonder, 
for  she  has  seen  you  gallanting  the  handsomest  woman  in  the 
city." 

"  A  lady  wishes  to  see  you,"  said  the  keeper,  who  opened 
the  door. 

"  Gad,  I  am  by  no  means  positive  that  Virginia's  suspi 
cions  are  groundless,"  said  the  colonel. 

"  Then  you  may  be  convinced,"  said  Walter.  "  I  do  not 
know  who  this  lady  is,  do  you,  Mr.  Keeper  ?  " 

"  No,  sir ;  she  is  veiled." 

"  Go  in  to  my  little  closet  of  a  bed-room,  colonel,  where  you 
can  see  and  hear  every  thing  that  passes.  I  am  not  afraid  of 
any  thing  being  said  or  done,  which  Virginia  herself  might  not 
hear  and  see.  Now  admit  the  lady." 

She  was  ushered  in  by  the  keeper,  who  closed  the  door 
after  her.  Walter,  although  he  was  just  then  slightly  flushed 
'with  the  excellent  wine  that  had  been  sent  him,  stood  per 
fectly  still  and  gazed  in  silence  at  his  visitor. 

"  You  do  not  know  me  !  "  said  the  lady,  sinking  into  the 
«hair  which  the  colonel  had  occupied. 


THE   POWER   OF    THE   JESUITS.  379 

"  I  think  I  know  that  voice,"  said  Walter,  "  but  I  will  not 
be  positive.  The  room  is  warm  ;  will  you  not  remove  your 
cloak  and  veil  ?  " 

"  I  will !  "  said  she,  throwing  them  off  and  standing  be 
fore  our  hero,  but  with  no  trace  of  levity  on  her  face. 

"  Honoria  !  "  exclaimed  Walter.     "  Is  it  possible  ?  " 

"  It  is  possible — it  was  inevitable  !  "  said  she,  again  sink 
ing  upon  the  chair.  "  I  have  come  to  make  a  confession — to 
crave  your  forgiveness,  and  to " 

"  I  am  not  a  father  confessor — nevertheless  I  absolve  you. 
I  have  thought  you  exercised  some  control  over  my  political 
fortunes,  which  have  been  but  a  series  of  disasters.  If  such  has 
been  the  case,  I  forgive  you.  You  have  but  executed  the 
will  of  others.  I  had  not  merited  your  vengeance," 

"  No  !  You  had  not !  And  you  have  conjectured  truly, 
in  regard  to  the  will  of  others.  Hear  me.  I  was  reared  in  a 
convent.  I  know  not  where  I  was  born,  or  who  were  my  pa 
rents.  But  for  this  purpose — to  be  the  instrument  of  the 
Jesuits — was  I  educated.  I  have  been  taught  that  in  serving 
them,  I  serve  my  God.  And  I  have  believed  it.  And  they 
believe  that  in  obtaining  power  on  earth,  which  they  hold  and 
exercise  in  the  service  of  the  one  whose  name  they  bear,  they 
but  perform  a  religious  duty.  But  they  have  been  granted 
the  privilege  of  using  any  means,  of  exercising  any  power,  of 
violating  any  rule,  in  the  attainment  of  the  great  end  in  view. 
I  need  not  describe  to  you  what  has  been  already  accomplished; 
for  you  would  hardly  credit  my  statement.  Let  it  suffice 
that  I  am  made  to  represent  some  six  hundred  thousand  votes. 
That  is  the  secret  of  my  influence  with  the  administration. 
My  beauty,  my  accomplishments,  which  have  been  extolled, 
are  subsidiary  to  our  religious  order ;  and  I  am  directed  to 
captivate  this  young  man,  or  to  fascinate  that  old  one " 

"  And  you  obey  !  " 

"  I  have  obeyed.  I  knew  no  other  alternative,  and  had  no 
other  desire,  until  I  met  with  you." 

"  With  me  ?  Honoria,  if  you  really  desire  to  abandon 
these  damnable  agents  of  the  Pope — who,  although  he  lives 
in  a  cloud  of  incense,  I  believe  is  in  the  habit  of  eating  gar 
lic  at  his  breakfast — I  will  render  you  all  the  assistance  in 
my  power ! " 

"  Thanks,  generous,  noble  Walter  !     But  wait  till  I  have 


380  THE    WINKLES. 

confessed  that  it  was  I  who  informed  the  Department  of  your 
being  one  of  the  new  secret  order " 

"  You  !     How  in  the  name  of  wonder  did  you  find  it  out  ?  " 

u  We  have  spies  in  your  councils — Jesuits  initiated  for 
that  purpose — with  dispensations  and  indulgences — permit 
ting  them  to  swear  any  thing,  and  to  forswear  themselves  with 
out  criminality.  I  saw  you  exchanging  the  signs,  which  I 
knew  perfectly  well.  The  compact  with  the  party  in  power 
is  unmitigated  hostility  to  the  Native  Americans  as  the  price 
of  the  support  of  Rome.  But  to  resume  : — I  delayed  action 
in  your  case.  It  was  not  deemed  good  policy  for  the  sdmin- 
istration,  suddenly  to  break  with  you  and  your  friends,  inas 
much  as  you  had  not,  in  becoming  a  Know  Nothing,  aban 
doned  any  principle  of  the  party  you  had  belonged  to.  and  it 
was  known  that  very  many  thousands  occupied  the  same  posi 
tion  in  relation  to  the  head  of  the  government.  But  the  edi 
tor  of  the  American  paper,  while  protesting  he  would  not  as 
sail  our  religion,  nor  the  spiritual  ascendency  of  the  Pope, 
nor  the  power  of  angels,  seemed  to  redouble  his  assaults  on 
the  administration.  It  was  then  decided  an  example  was 
necessary  to  check  the  boldness  of  the  order  represented  by 
the  paper,  and  hence  the  attack  in  the  Administration  journal, 
which,  in  reality,  was  never  seen  by  the  editor  until  after  its 
publication.  It  was  written  by  me " 

"  By  you.  Honoria  ?  " 

"  It  was.  It  was  my  intention,  after  as  many  delays  as  you 
would  bear  with,  to  have  had  your  name  sent  to  the  Senate, 
and  there  hung  up  in  suspense,  or  promptly  rejected.  But  you 
had  in  the  mean  time  won  the  friendship  of  the  kind  old 
gentleman  who  wields  the  casting  vote,  and  it  was  apparent 
you  would  be  confirmed.  I  knew  you  would  not  brook  further 
procrastination  on  the  part  of  the  President,  and  feared  you 
would  abandon  the  pursuit,  and  leave  the  city.  It  was  my 
pleasure  to  keep  you  here.  I  knew  you  would  demand  satis 
faction  of  the  editor  of  the  paper  in  which  the  offensive 
paragraph  appeared — and  I  knew  if  you  fought,  whatever 
might  be  the  result  of  the  meeting,  you  would  cease  to  be  a 
sojourner  in  Washington.  Therefore  the  marshal  was  apprised 
of  your  intentions.  But  I  did  not  suppose — and  no  one  could 
have  foreseen — that  you  would  consent  to  be  incarcerated  in  a 
vile  prison !  The  thought  was  intolerable  anguish  to  me — 
and  I  resolved  to  appear  before  you  and  make " 


THE   JESUIT'S   VICTIM    IN    LOVE.  381 

"  I  forgive  you,  Honoria,"  said  Walter ;  u  but  I  should 
never  have  deemed  it  possible  for  one  of  your  sensibility  and 
delicacy  to  act  so  deceptive  a  part." 

"  And  who  was  the  victim  ?  I — I !  I  was  deceived,  when 
I  supposed  my  part  could  be  played  with  impunity.  Walter, 
if  you  have  lost  the  office,  I  have  lost  my  heart !  I  love  you — 
you  only  !  " 

"  You  forget  your  husband,  madam  ! "  said  Walter, 
gazing  coldly  at  the  beautiful  woman  who  had  thrown  herself 
upon  his  breast. 

"  I  have  no  husband  !  It  was  a  pious  fraud  of  Father 
Xavier.  Mr.  Fimble  is  a  British  priest.  He  has,  it  is  true, 
proposed  abandoning  the  order,  if  I  will  really  marry  him. 
But  my  heart  is  yours  alone.  Do  not  repulse  me — or  I  am 
lost !  For  you  I  will  violate  my  sacred  obligation,  brave 
every  danger,  abandon  the  Church  itself,  and  forfeit  my  sal 
vation " 

"  No  !  No,  Honoria !  " 

"  Do  not  deny  me  !  Do  not  say  no' !  Let  us  fly  !  I  have 
jewels  worth  immense  sums.  We  can  find  some  secluded 
spot  in  the  mountains,  or  on  the  vast  untrodden  plains,  where 
we  can  dwell  in  security " 

"  Enough,  Honoria  !  It  is  impossible.  I  love  another. 
Leave  me." 

"  No — oh,  no  !  I  will  see  the  President,  and  you  shall 
abandon  this  place.  I  brought  you  hither — I  will  lead  you 
hence " 

"  Indeed  you  will  not.  There  exists  but  one  being  who 
can  release  me.  You  are  not  that  individual.  I  have  been 
the  victim  of  intrigue — henceforth  I  will  endeavor  to  play  a 
more  skilful  part.  I  have  my  stratagem,  and  most  patiently 
await  the  issue.  Answer  me  this,  Honoria :  Have  you  not 
contributed  to  produce  the  estrangement  of  Virginia  ?  " 

"  She  had  anonymous  letters.  I  had  been  educated  in  the 
school  of " 

a  The  abominable  Jesuits  !  " 

"  But  I  will  fly  with  you  and " 

"  You  will  do  no  such  thing  !  Leave  me,  Honoria.  I  will 
not  betray  you — but  leave  me.  Abandon  the  wicked  order  to 
which  you  belong " 

"  Impossible — without  you  !  You  know  not  the  force  of 
education — of  their  power  over  their  members " 


382  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Where  is  their  power  over  you,  since  you  are  willing  to 
desert  them  ?  " 

"  For  you,  you  alone  !  Without  you  I  must  return  to  them, 
and  obey  in  all  things  !  " 

"  And  with  me,  I  suspect  it  would  be  pretty  much  the 
same  thing.  Go  !  and  when  you  next  attempt  to  sow  the 
seeds  of  dissension  between  honest  lovers,  remember  how  in 
effectual  were  your  arts  in  my  case.  Your  carriage  awaits 
you.  I  will  conduct  you  to  it."  Saying  this,  Walter  rang 
for  the  keeper  ;  and  when  the  door  was  thrown  open,  forgetful 
of  his  loss  of  liberty,  our  hero  would  have  accompanied  the 
unresisting  woman  into  the  street,  had  he  not  been  gently 
thrust  back  by  the  keeper.  He  bowed,  and  returned  to  his 
chair,  as  the  disappointed  visitor  departed. 

"  Hang  me,  if  you  are  not  the  most  extraordinary  young 
man  that  ever  drew  the  breath  of  life  !  "  said  the  colonel. 
"  When  I  tell  Virginia  what  I  have  witnessed,  if  she  don't 
forgive  you,  I'll  disinherit  her  !  But  who  did  you  allude  to 
when  you  said  there  was  but  one  who  could  release  you  ?  " 

"  I  meant  Virginia.  I  will  confess  any  thing  to  you, 
colonel  5  I  know  you  will  keep  my  secret,  even  from  Virginia, 
if  you  cannot  be  my  confederate.  You  know  I  could  have 
avoided  this  confinement.  My  object  in  coming  hither  was  to 
excite  the  sympathy  of  Virginia." 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  good  !  I'll  help  you  !  I  cannot  make  her 
marry  you  against  her  will — but  you  have  my  consent.  And 
I  will  aid  you  in  effecting  a  reconciliation.  I  will  describe  to 
her  your  solitary  abode — your  interview  with  her  rival — the 
hundreds  of  visitors,  the  wine,  the  flowers " 

"  For  heaven's  sake,  colonel,  don't  mention  them  !  Let 
her  suppose  I  am  groaning  in  a  damp  dungeon  among  spiders 
and  rats,  and  living  on  crusts  and  water." 

"  I  should  not  have  thought  of  that !  You  are  right. 
Pity  is  a  more  ^powerful  feeling  with  the  sex  than  even  the 
desire  of  excelfing  in  the  number  of  their  conquests.  But  I 
must  describe  your  interview  with  that  angelic  Jesuitical 
image" 

"  And  do  not  forget  what  she  said  about  the  anonymous 
letters.  I  know  not  the  nature  of  their  contents — but  I  at 
tribute  Virginia's  displeasure  to  them." 

"  I  will  forget  nothing  that  will  do  you  good,  my  brave 
fellow,  if  I  can  help  it.  But  I  have  something  to  remember 
for  myself,  and  you  know  my  ideas  can  travel  but  in  one 


MORE    DEVELOPMENTS.  383 

direction  at  a  time.  So  you  must  not  be  too  impatient  if 
there  is  some  little  delay  in  your  business." 

"  Tell  her  colonel,  that  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to  perish 
here.  That  since  I  have  incurred  her  displeasure  there  re 
mains  nothing  else  in  the  world  I  can  desire  to  live  for. 
Between  us,  however,  I  have  written  my  mother  every  thing, 
including  my  purpose  on  coming  hither." 

"  I'll  see  if  am  to  be  sold  to  the  infernal  Jesuits  !"  con 
tinued  the  incensed  senator. 

"  Tell  her,  colonel,  the  unwholesome  atmosphere  of  my 
prison,  combined  with  the  depressing  consciousness  of  having 
for  ever — italicize  that  word,  colonel — forfeited  her  good  opin 
ion,  will  soon  make  an  end  of  me." 

"  My  constituent — the  son  of  my  old  friend  Winkle — and 
because  the  foreigners  have  some  600,000  votes " 

"  Recollect,  colonel,  how  promptly  I  rejected  the  proposal  of 
Honoria,  and  that  I  vowed  my  eternal  constancy  to  Virginia." 
"  And,  merely  because  he  was  an  American  !  I  am  an 
American  myself — and  would  these  papal  devils  have  us  for 
feit  our  birthright,  or  disavow  our  country,  and  become  the 
servile  instruments  of  the  arrogant  prince  of  Rome  ?  " 

"  But,  you  will  forget  me,  I  fear,  colonel." 

"  Forget  you !  nonsense !  I  will  go  to  the  President 
immediately,  and  I  will  shout  in  his  ear,  that  J,  too,  am  an 
American — and  that  Americans  shall  rule  America  !  Good 
night,  Walter.  Be  comfortable,  and  rely  upon  me."  And  he 
departed  hastily,  as  if  impelled  by  the  one  purpose  of  con 
fronting  the  President,  and  avowing  his  nativity. 

Walter,  after  quaffing  another  glass  of  the  delicious  wine, 
which  had  been  sent  him  by  his  unknown  friends,  resumed  his 
book,  which,  it  may  as  well  be  owned,  was  "  Smollet's'  Pere 
grine  Pickle,"  which  the  keeper  had  loaned  him. 

He  had  not  been  thus  engaged  many  minutes,  before  the 
keeper  again  appeared,  bearing  in  his  hand  a  finely  enamelled 
card. 

"  Boozle  !  "  said  Walter,  with  a  sneer.  "  But  let  him 
come  in." 

Boozle  made  his  appearance  with  a  sympathizing  smile, 
but  with  astonished  glances  at  the  evidences  of  luxurious 
living  by  which  the  prisoner  was  surrounded. 

"  I  am  glad  you  seem  comfortable  !  "  said  he.  "  I  was 
fearful  you  might  be  suffering." 


384  THE   WINKLES. 

"  Suffering !  my  sufferings  were  all  over  when  I  escaped 
the  clutches  of  the  secretary  and  our  noble  President.  Come, 
Boozle,  help  yourself.  Here  are  cakes,  and  there  the  sparkling 
juice  of  the  grape.  I  drank  with  you  at  the  secretary's  table, 
and  you  must  drink  with  me  here.  This  is  my  table." 

"  I  will  drink  your  health  with  a  great  deal  of  pleasure. 
It  is  excellent !  But,  Winkle,  nothing  can  compensate  for  the 
loss  of  liberty.  I  am  astonished  that  you  should  persist  in 
coming  hither." 

"  I  don't  doubt  it,  Boozle.  Be  candid,  and  tell  me  if  the 
President  himself  is  not  likewise  astonished  ?  " 

"  He  is.  And  more  than  that — much  annoyed.  He  has 
received  many  indignant  letters,  and  has  been  compelled  to 
listen  to  some  rather  threatening  speeches,  from  influential 
members  of  Congress." 

"  Did  you  see  Colonel  Oakdale  ?  " 

"  He  was  driving  furiously  towards  the  White  House 
a  few  minutes  ago." 

"  Well,  you  have  sown  the  wind,  you  know  the  rest." 

"  But,  without  having  to  tip  any  one,  you  may  yet  win. 
This  last  move  of  yours  has  taken  every  body  by  surprise, 
and  the  high  powers  are  prepared  to  treat  on  your  own  terms." 

"  I  have  no  terms  to  propose." 

"  If  you  will  sign  a  pledge  to  support  the  administration, 
your  name  will  be  sent  in  to-morrow,  and  you  will  be  con 
firmed  immediately.  I  am  authorized  to  say  so  !" 

"  You  remember  the  words  uttered  in  the  French  Chamber 
of  Deputies,  when  the  royal  family  offered  terms  to  the  in 
censed  revolutionists.  It  is  too  late  !  " 

"  Do  you  mean  that  you  will  not  accept  the  office?  " 

"  I  do.  The  only  position  I  now  court  is  Plastic's.  I 
made  him  what  he  is,  and  I  can  unmake  him.  I  want  nothing 
from  the  administration." 

"  But  you  must  not  remain  here.  The  President  will 
appoint  you  without  your  consent !  " 

"  He  should  have  given  me  the  appointment  when  I 
desired  it.  I  should  decline  it  now,  even  if  it  were  advised 
and  consented  to  by  the  Senate.  And  I  would  prepare  a 
document  for  the  press,  setting  forth  the  history  of  the  entire 
proceedings  in  my  case,  and  showing  that  the  government  is 
in  the  hands  of  the  foreigners — the  miserable  Jesuits — whose 
entire  vote  is  represented  here  by  a  woman  !  " 


A    MYSTERY.  385 

<:  She  deserves  your  enmity,  but " 

"  I  shall  not  say  one  word  in  her  disparagement.  She  is 
a  woman,  and  a  most  beautiful  one  :  eh,  Boozle  ?  " 

'•'  That  is  incontrovertible.  But  she  has  never  had  a  smile 
for  me.  And  you  will  not  accept  the  office  ?  That  is  most 
extraordinary  ! " 

"  I  believe  it  is,  truly.  For  the  post  is  said  to  be  worth 
not  less  than  five  thousand  dollars." 

"  There  must  be  some  great  inducement — some  equivalent, 
which  has  not  been  discovered  by  the  astute  secretary " 

"  To  induce  me  to  decline  such  an  appointment " 

"  And  resolve  to  remain  in  prison  !  " 

"  There  must  be — there  is — but  all  the  mere  diplomatists 
in  creation  could  never  find  it  out.  And  I  won't  tell  what  it 
is.  So  you  see  your  mission  is  not  likely  to  be  crowned  with 
success.  I  will  say,  however,  that  there  is  one  person — one 
only — who  can  lead  me  hence — who  must  release  me,  if  ever 
I  regain  my  liberty — and  neither  the  President,  nor  .the 
secretary " 

«  Nor  Honoria  ?  " 

"  Nor  Honoria  is  that  person  !  " 

"  Then  I  cannot  conjecture  who  you  mean.  But  I  think 
you  are  mistaken.  You  must  not  remain  here." 

"  Must  not  ?  " 

"  Must  not.  The  President  will  order  your  release — will 
pardon " 

"  Tell  him  if  he  does  I'll  cane  him  !  I  have  an  invincible 
respect  for  the  President,  but  none  whatever  for  the  man. 
And  when  I  am  punishing  the  individual,  I  will  make  a  pro 
testation  of  not  assaulting  the  office.  Tell  him,  he  is  warned 
not  to  meddle  further  in  my  affairs.  I  will  not  promise  to 
keep  the  peace,  if  they  discharge  me  before  I  am  ready  to 
come  out " 

"  But  what  can  be  your  motive " 

"  That's  none  of  his  business,  nor  yours.  I  may  have  a 
little  game  of  my  own  to  play — a  private  matter,  with  which 
you  can  have  no  concern,  and  which  I  don't  choose  to  explain 
to  any  one.  The  President  did  not  send  me  hither,  nor  did 
he  desire  it.  That  much  I  will  admit.  Let  him  say  so  in 
his  organ.  When  I  am  ready  to  come  forth,  I  will  find  the 
requisite  sureties.  But  no  pardon-.  That  is  suggestive  of 
antecedent  guilt.  I  have  committed  no  crime.  If  he  pardons 
17 


386  THE    WINKLES. 

me,  I  shall  regard  it  as  an  insult.  Tell  him  so.  I  want  to 
see  how  Peregrine  conducted  himself  in  his  difficulty.  Good 
night." 

And   Boozle,  without  being  able  to  penetrate  the  young 
man's  motives,  reluctantly  withdrew. 


CHAPTEK   XXXIII. 

WALTER  RECEIVES   INTELLIGENCE  FROM  HOME.— THE  PRISON 
DIPLOMACY   QUITE  PROSPEROUS. 

WALTER  never  slept  more  soundly,  or  enjoyed  more  pleasant 
dreams,  than  he  did  in  prison.  And  he  had  an  excellent 
appetite  for  breakfast,  which  was  damaged,  however,  by  the 
contents  of  the  letters  and  papers  brought  in  by  his  keeper. 

The  first  letter  he  tore  open,  was  from  his  sister.  Lucy 
informed  him  of  the  occurrences  in  New  York,  a  portion  of 
which,  she  admitted,  she  had  intended  to  keep  to  herself,  for  the 
present,  but  was  forestalled  by  the  papers,  copies  of  which  she 
sent  him.  How  the  reporters  ascertained  she  was  to  become 
the  Countess  of  Hilton,  she  was  unable  to  conjecture — and, 
she  owned,  she  could  not  contradict  it !  But,  she  had  very 
great  fears,  her  dear  brother  might  never  consent  to  the 
arrangement,  and  would  regard  the  fact  of  Edmund's  being  a 
foreigner,  an  insuperable  obstacle.  She  said  she  had  in 
timated  as  much  to  the  earl ;  but  he  had  undertaken  to  prove 
that  such  a  consummation  of  his  wishes,  would  be  no  infringe 
ment  of  Walter's  rule,  inasmuch  as  he  would  not  seek  to 
exercise  the  rights  of  suffrage ;  and,  instead  of  becoming  a 
naturalized  citizen,  he  merely — "  merely"  said  she — intended 
to  relieve  the  country  of  the  burden  of  maintaining  one  of  its 
natives.  u  He  used  other  arguments."  continued  Lucy — 
"  which  I  will  not  repeat ;  and  concluded,  by  assuring  me 
most  seriously,  and  eloquently,  that  the  '  Know  Nothings ' 
never  admitted  the  ladies  into  their  councils."  She  acknow 
ledged  the  receipt  of  Walter's  letter,  which  had  been  trans 
mitted  by  her  mother,  informing  her  of  his  present  extra 
ordinary  situation  \  and  she  predicted  that  Virginia  would 
not  hold  out  long  against  such  a  siege. 


LETTEK    FROM    HOME.  387 

"Walter  found  a  whole  column  in  one  of  the  papers  devoted 
to  a  description  of  the  company  at  Mrs.  Laurel's  party,  and 
embracing  the  most  minute  details  of  the  dress  of  the  Coun 
tess,  as  well  as  the  appearance  of  the  Earl,  who  was  designa 
ted  as  a  most  unassuming,  well-bred  young  man.  Lucy,  herself, 
seemed  to  have  attracted  a  large  share  of  the  reporter's  atten 
tion;  and  of  course  there  was  enough  said  in  her  praise  to 
have  turned  the  heads  of  all  the  Arums  and  Crudles  in  the 
world.  The  A.'s  and  C.'s,  however,  were  duly  mentioned,  for 
they  were  reported  to  be  very  rich,  and  beautiful,  and  all  that. 
No  allusion  whatever  was  made  to  the  duel  of  Col.  Ball. 
Even  the  fact  of  his  presence  on  the  occasion  of  the  great  re 
ception,  was  entirely  suppressed. 

There  was  also  a  letter  from  Sergeant  Blore.  He  urged 
"Walter  to  return  as  soon  as  possible,  that  he  might  take  his 
final  leave  of  his  uncle,  who  was  sinking  by  inches  into  the 
grave  under  the  tortures  of  Griselda.  He  said  the  commander 
was  dying  of  a  sort  of  torpor,  brought  on,  he  thought,  by 
wearing  damp  undershirts,  which  his  wife  had  regularly 
sprinkled  for  that  purpose.  She  had  lately  gone  to  mass,  and 
was  turning  Roman  Catholic.  "  We  thought  she  was  religious 
enough  before,"  said  the  sergeant ;  u  but  she  is  worse  now,  and 
we  are  put  upon  half  rations  every  Friday  !  No  meat — no 
grog  !  And  she's  made  your  uncle  make  a  new  will,  and  sign 
it.  Bawson  says  it  makes  no  odds,  as  he  has  another  for  your 
benefit,  ready  cut  and  dried,  which  your  uncle  has  promised  to 
sign  before  he  kicks  the  bucket.  The  lawyer  says  the  last 
will  is  the  one  that  will  win  the  battle.  Your  uncle  says  he 
will  give  him  the  wink  when  he  feels  himself  going,  so  that  it 
can  be  produced  and  signed.  But  he  wants  to  see  you  and 
Lucy,  before  he  sets  out  on  the  final  campaign.  There  is  no 
hope  for  him.  He  says  so  himself.  Arid  a  sure  sign  of  it  is 
the  presence  of  a  dark,  tall,  gaunt  priest,  named  Xavier,  or 
Zebra,  or  something  of  the  sort.  After  this  business  is  over. 
Bawson  is  going  to  blow  Roland  sky  high,  and  play  the  devil 
with  him.  Mrs.  E.  attempted  to  storm  the  fort  once,  but  my 
guns  were  in  readiness,  and  double-shotted.  I  don't  like  to 
venture  in  town  to  get  your  mother  to  send  the  news — so  I 
send  this  to  the  office  by  Bill  Dizzle.  Come,  soon, — your  un 
cle  can't  hold  out  much  longer — but  he  says  he'll  be if 

that  Jesuitess  shall  have  his  money.  And  when  the  priest 
holds  up  his  black  cross  before  him,  he  tells  him  to  go  and 


388  THE   WINKLES. 

hold  it  up  before  the  Turks,  instead  of  making  the  French 
people  fight  for  the  infidel  Arabs.  Oh,  Walter — he  grows 
eloquent  on  that  subject,  and  says,  if  he  had  his  will,  the  Ma 
hometans  should  be  driven  out  of  Europe,  and  that  the  holy 
land  should  be  put  in  cultivation,  and  manured  with  the  blood 
of  the  Moslems,  instead  of  wasting  Christian  lives  fighting 
under  the  new  moon  flag  of  the  barbarians.  No  more — but 
come  soon.  Your  faithful  friend,  THOMAS  BLORE." 

There  was  likewise  a  note  from  Honoria,  imploring  Walter 
not  to  divulge  her  secret,  unless  he  desired  to  hear  of  her 
death.  That  he  threw  into  the  fire,  and  then  he  looked  over 
the  papers  from  Philadelphia  and  Baltimore,  and  perceived 
that  his  imprisonment  had  been  duly  chronicled.  Some  of 
the  letter  writers  said  he  was  confined  in  prison  because  he 
could  not  give  security  for  his  good  behavior  ;  others  that  he 
would  not,  from  prudential  motives,  as  the  prison  walls  afforded 
what  he  most  desired,  viz.,  protection  from  assault;  and  others 
again,  denying  the  correctness  of  the  rest,  intimated  that  he 
voluntarily  remained  a  captive  for  some  purpose  which  was  a 
profound  mystery  to  the  outsiders.  But  that  the  President 
had  proffered  to  release  him,  and  also  to  confer  on  him  the 
omce  he  had  applied  for  ;  and  both  of  which  had  been  re 
jected.  It  was  stated,  however,  that  he  had  almost  as  many 
visitors  at  his  prison  as  the  President  had  at  his  palace,  and 
the  sympathies  of  the  ladies  were  very  generally  enlisted  in 
his  behalf. 

Thus  Walter  perceived  he  was  rapidly  becoming  a  famous 
character,  and  his  resolution  not  to  relinquish  the  advantages 
of  his  position  without  reaping  some  decided  benefit,  and  ter 
minating  his  incarceration  with  eclat,  was  more  and  more  con 
firmed. 

During  the  forenoon  the  colonel  drove  up  to  the  door  of 
the  prison  in  a  great  perturbation. 

"  I  have  but  a  minute  to  stay,  Walter,  "  said  he,  "  I  must 
be  in  my  place  in  the  Senate.  I  am  going  to  break  ground 
against  the  administration.  T  shall  vote  against  all  the  nomi 
nations  ;  I'll  reject  the  treaties,  I'll  call  for  correspondences, 
I'll  have  a  committee  to  investigate  the  disbursements  on  con 
tracts,  printing,  and  advertising.  I'm  in  the  opposition  now  !" 

"  Why,  what's  the  matter,  colonel  ?  " 

u  I  have  just  listened  to  the  whole  programme  at  the  Pres- 


NEWS   FKOM    VIRGINIA.  389 

ident's.  They  construed  my  silence  into  an  acquiescence,  and 
made  most  unreserved  and  iniquitous  revelations.  That  wo 
man  spoke  truly  !  They  are  bargaining  with  the  foreigners  ! 
Henceforth  I  am  in  the  opposition !  " 

"  But,  colonel,  I  hope  you  will  not  make  any  sacrifices  on 
my  account !  " 

"  You  shall  have  Virginia !  You  shall  be  revenged.  Only 
be  composed  and  comfortable." 

"  But,  sir,  you  have  not  told  me  what  she " 

"  Another  time,  Walter ;  I'm  in  great  haste  now." 

u  One  moment,  colonel!  you  didn't  finish  telling  about  the 
shot  near  the  pear-tree." 

"  Oh,  true  i  "  said  the  colonel,  sitting  down.  "  Dash  went 
heels  over  head.  I  could  see  nothing.  The  dog  wouldn't 
move.  I  walked  all  around.  No  bird.  Then  I  approached 
the  dog  in  front,  and  at  last  espied  the  partridge  lying  in  the 
sunken  print  of  a  horse's  hoof,  and  not  four  feet  from  the  dog's 
nose.  I  stood  a  long  time — but  he  did  not  seem  willing  to 
rise.  So  1  stepped  forward  and  kicked  him  up.  I  was  afraid 
of  tearing  him  to  pieces  j  and  waited  until  he  was  as  far  as 
the  fence,  before  I  fired.  Then  I  saw  no  more  of  him ;  but 
Dash  kept  looking  straight  up  in  the  air,  while  I  looked  like  a 
fool.  Presently  down  came  the  bird  on  my  head — on  my  head, 
sir,  knocking  my  hat  over  my  eyes.  I  had  shot  him  in  the 
head,  and  he  had  sailed  up  perpendicularly  until  quite  dead." 

"  Capital !  But,  colonel,  pray  tell  me  what  took  place  last 
night  after  you  left  me." 

"  I  went  home.  Virginia  did  not  open  her  lips,  yet  she 
begged  most  eloquently  to  be  informed  of  your  condition,  and 
so  forth.  She  was  ever  at  my  side,  with  her  head  laid  against 
my  shoulder,  and  her  ear  open.  She  was  very  affectionate.  I 
knew  what  she  meant,  and  was  just  going  to  tell  her  every 
thing,  when  I  received  a  note  from  the  Secretary  of  State,  ask 
ing  me  to  meet  him  at  the  house  of  the  Secretary  of  the 
Treasury.  I  went  thither,  and  beheld  a  great  party.  The 
beautiful  Honoria  was  present.  Tell  me,  you  rogue,  if  your 
conduct  was  not  circumscribed  by  the  consciousness  of  my 
presence  ?  " 

"  I  own  I  did  not  forget  you  were  a  witness,  colonel." 

"  I  thought  so — for  flesh  and  blood " 

"  But,  sir,  she  did  not  know  it." 

"  Very  true — and  you  made  a  final  disposition  of  her. 


390  THE   WINKLES. 

Virginia  will  love  you  now  more  than  ever.  She  was  at  the 
Secretary's — I  mean  this  Jesuit  woman,  and  she  was  the  gay 
est  person  there,  angling  for  the  Native  American  editor,  who 
was  there  too.  I  went  with  the  secretary  to  see  the  Presi 
dent.  We  were  joined  by  one  Boozle,  who  whispered  some 
thing,  and  then  the  President  said  he  was  unwell  and  begged 
us  to  call  in  the  morning.  This  morning  they  lifted  the  cur 
tain,  and  exposed  all  their  measures,  and  purposes.  A  very 
ugly  picture,  sir !  I  denounced  the  whole  programme.  Be 
patient.  When  I  have  declared  war  against  them  I  will  re 
turn  and  get  you  out  of  prison.  But  I  learn  the  penalty  in 
the  bond  is  to  be  doubled,  on  the  suggestion  of  that  Boozle 
— that  is  $10,000,  instead  of  $5,000.  No  matter,  you  shall 
come  out." 

"  No  colonel — not  until  Virginia  says  so — and,  moreover, 
until  she  is  reconciled " 

"  I  forgot  that !  But  she  shall  be  satisfied.  I  will  see 
her  before  I  return.  Good  morning." 

Walter's  next  visitor  was  his  old  college  friend,  George 
Parke. 

"  Hallo,  old  fellow !  "  cried  Parke,  running  up  to  our 
hero  and  shaking  him  heartily  by  the  hand.  I  was  on  my 
way  home,  having  quarrelled  with  our  professor  on  political 
economy,  when  I  chanced  to  see  your  affair  in  a  paper.  Now 
I  shall  stay  until  you  are  out  of  this  scrape.  I  am  rich  now, 
Walter,  and  owe  you  money.  Not  a  word.  I  learned  from 
the  keeper  where  the  magistrate's  office  is.  I'll  get  you  out 
in  an  hour,  and  after  that  we'll  see  if  we  can't  contrive  to 
have  a  shot  at  the  editor." 

"  No,  George.  You  shall  do  no  such  thing.  To  be  can 
did  with  you,  I  remain  here  very  willingly,  and  with  a  design 
— which  I  will  explain.  Virginia  is  in  the  city,  and  is  offend 
ed  with  me.  I  have  been  slandered.  You  know  how  power 
fully  one's  sufferings  in  a  prison  will  work  upon  the  sympathies 
of  a  tender-hearted  girl.  You  understand  ?  She  alone  must 
release  me." 

"  I  see  !  A  capital  idea !  But  you  don't  seem  to  be  suf 
fering  much." 

"  No.  But  she  is  not  to  know  how  comfortable  I  am.  Sit 
down  and  tell  me  the  particulas  of  your  quarrel." 

"  I  had  passed  my  examination,  and  thought  my  diploma 
secured.  Mr. was  the  last  questioner.  I  satisfied  him, 


THE    BLACK    MARIA.  391 

and  was  in  high  spirits,  which  he  observed,  and  he  interrogated 
me  as  to  the  cause  of  it.  I  told  him.  My  mother  had  just 
sent  me  a  power  of  attorney  to  draw  on  her  agent  in  New 
York  for  the  proceeds  of  our  crop  of  cotton  shipped  from  that 
port.  It  amounted  to  $21,000  !  Mr.—  -  then  began  to  de 
nounce  our  Southern  institutions,  and  of  course  I  was  not  just 
then  inclined  to  agree  with  him.  He  fired  a  broadside  of  his 
European  dogmas  at  my  country,  and  I  fired  back  at  him.  I 
controverted  all  his  propositions,  and  we  arrived  at  different 
results.  At  length  he  grew  seriously  excited,  and  demanded  if 
that  country  was  not  in  a  higher  state  of  prosperity  whose 
square  mile — the  exact  dimensions  of  my  mother's  plantation 
— was  divided  among  forty  small  proprietors,  and  produced  a 
clear  revenue  of  $40,000,  than  the  one  whose  square  mile  had 
but  one  proprietor  and  yielded  only  $20,000.  I  did  not 
deny  that  the  first  country  might  be  theoretically  the  most 
prosperous,  according  to  the  interests  of  monarchies ;  but  I 
insisted  upon  preferring  the  whole  mile  in  our  own  country, 
and  most  vehemently  asserted  that  the  sole  proprietor  of  tho 
mile  was  in  a  better  condition  than  each  of  the  forty.  Ho 
grew  furious — I  remained  firm.  He  insulted  me,  and  I  cursed 
him.  Of  course  I  got  no  diploma — as  you  got  no  com 
mission.  But  who  have  we  here?  " 

The  keeper  opened  the  door  and  said  there  was  a  queer 
sort  of  a  noisy  fellow  without,  who  demanded  admission  to 
Walter's  room. 

"  Did  he  come  in  a  carriage  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  Yes.  In  the  Black  Maria — the  prison  carriage.  He 
was  taken  up  for  disturbing  the  peace." 

"  And  he  says  he  knows  me  ?  " 

"  Yes.  And  he  knows  Shakspeare  too,  for  he  quotes  him 
by  the  page." 

"  Then  admit  him  !  " 

"  Yes,"  said  Parke,  "  the  man  who  quotes  Shakspeare 
from  inclination  is  fit  associate  for  the  immortals." 

The  singular  individual  was  pushed  through  the  door. 
He  stood  in  silent  abstraction,  while  the  young  men  scruti 
nized  his  exterior.  He  was  covered  with  stains  of  mud,  as  if 
he  had  been  lying  in  a  gutter.  His  hat  was  crushed  in  on  one 
side,  and  the  crown,  torn  out  three  fourths  of  the  way  round, 
hung  pendant  in  front.  His  pantaloons  were  stuffed  in  his 


392  THE   WINKLES. 

boots.  His  coat  was  buttoned  up  to  his  chin,  and  his  hands 
were  crossed  behind  him. 

"  Look  up,  my  friend,"  said  Walter. 

"  Friend  !  at  that  word  I  lift  my  eyes  !  " 

"  Pollen  !  "  cried  both  the  young  men  at  once,  rushing  for 
ward  and  seizing  the  poet's  hands. 

"  Yes,  Pollen  the  poet.  Let  me  eat — and  remove  the  bot 
tles — before  we  have  any  questions."  He  helped  himself 
without  ceremony  to  the  remains  of  the  sumptuous  breakfast 
left  by  Walter.  "  Now,"  said  he,  "  I  will  give  you  some  ac 
count  of  myself.  A  week  ago  I  was  in  New  York,  at  the 
topmost  round  of  the  poetical  ladder.  The  Countess  of  Hil 
ton  was  my  patroness,  and  advanced  me  money  to  publish  a 
new  edition  of  my  works.  But  I  had  forgotten  that  my  port 
folio  and  copyrights  were  in  pledge  to  the  cormorant  Jew  in 
Philadelphia  for  the  pitiful  sum  of  $200.  I  went  thither  to 
redeem  them — but  the  interest  had  accumulated  to  such  a 
goemetrical  absurdity  that  it  required  all  my  funds  to  satisfy 
the  smiling  rascal.  I  redeemed  them,  however. 

"  Not  knowing  what  else  to  do,  I  applied  to  Mr.  Bell  for  a 
pitiful  office.  He  was  anxious  to  accommodate  me.  He  said 
he  appreciated  my  merits  and  reverenced  my  genius.  But  all 
his  appointments  had  to  be  submitted  to  the  secretary  for  his 
approval.  He  advised  me  to  come  hither  and  see  the  head  of 
the  Department,  and  he  advanced  me  the  money  to  defray  my 
expenses. 

u  When  I  arrived  at  my  hotel  this  morning,  the  first  name 
I  heard  mentioned  was  yours,  Walter.  I  learned  what  had 
transpired,  and  I  hastened  away  to  the  President's  to  demand 
your  discharge.  Upon  entering  the  portal,  I  was  thrust  back 
by  an  impudent  Paddy,  who  demanded  my  name  and  business ! 
I  told  him  I  was  one  of  the  sovereigns,  and  that  the  President 
was  the  servant  of  the  people — and  I  came  in  the  right  of  a 
master.  He  damned  me  as  one  of  the  natives,  and  seizing 
my  collar,  dragged  me  out  in  the  rain.  I  splintered  my  cane 
over  his  head.  But  that  did  not  move  him.  I  then  aimed  a 
blow  at  his  nose,  which  he  resented.  I  don't  know  exactly 
how  many  times  he  struck  me,  nor  precisely  where ;  but  I 
awoke  to  consciousness,  lying  in  the  gutter,  where  the  turbid 
water  was  dashing  over  me.  An  officer  was  called,  who  con 
ducted  me  hither.  This  is  the  whole  of  my  story." 

"  Merciful  heaven !  "  cried  Walter.     "  And  has  it  come  to 


POLLEN   SHIRTLESS   AGAIN.  393 

this,  that  in  our  great  country,  the  boasted  land  of  freedom, 
the  native  citizen  is  thrust  away  from  the  portals  of  the  public 
offices  by  the  mere  offscourings  of  all  the  monarchies  of  the 
earth  !  Shall  the  Irish  and  the  Dutch  hold  the  keys  of  our 
treasury,  while  we  starve  in  the  gutters  ?  n 

"  Have  you  a  clean  shirt  to  loan  me  ?  "  asked  Pollen. 

"  Yes,  you  shall  share  my  wardrobe,  as  you  have  partaken 
of  my  crust." 

"  I  have  eaten  the  half  of  a  broiled  chicken,  and  begin  to 
feel  comfortable ! " 

"  A  lady,  sir  !  "  said  the  keeper,  peeping  in. 

"  A  lady !  "     said  Parke.     "  Then  we  are  de  trope" 

"  And  I  am  in  a  vile  costume,"  said  the  poet.  "  But 
there  is  a  closet.  I'll  retire " 

"  No  1 "  said  Walter.  "  It  may  be  the  very  thing  for  you 
to  be  seen  thus.  If  it  should  be  Virginia  or  Honoria " 

"  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle  ! "  said  the  keeper,  admitting 
Walter's  aunt. 

"  Oh,  Walter  !  I  forgive  you  for  attending  your  uncle's 
wedding!  Come  to  my  arms,  my  poor,  poor  boy  ! ' 

She  ran  to  him,  and  embraced  him  most  affectionately. 
"  And  these  are  your  fellow-prisoners — your  vile  compan 
ions — the  low  associates  they  have  thrust  you  among." 

"  No — aunt !     Do  you  not  recognize  my  friends  ?  " 

"  Where's  my  glass !  Oh  !  Mr.  Parke  !  I  beg  pardon, 
sir.  And,  mercy  on  me !  Is  it  possible !  What !  Are 
you — you  are  !  It  is  Mr.  Pollen — and  in  this  plight !  It  is 
a  shame  !  Here,  Walter,  I've  brought  you  a  check.  Send 
the  keeper  to  a  clothing  store; — have  every  thing  brought 
here,  and  furnish  him  with  decent  clothing.  Lose  no  time." 

Walter  took  the  check.  And  while  his  aunt  sat  at  the 
table,  saturating  her  handkerchief  with  tears,  he  opened  his 
trunk,  and  furnished  the  poet  with  a  suit  of  his  own  clothing. 
Thus  arrayed,  Pollen  was  himself  again,  and  made  a  very 
genteel  appearance. 

"  What  a  shame  !  "  repeated  Wilsome,  after  she  had  made 
Pollen  relate  the  manner  of  his  being  sent  to  prison.  "  And 
to  be  thrust  away  from  the  President's  door  by  a  nasty  for 
eigner  !  It  was  worse  than  your  case,  Walter,  which  I  read 
in  the  Ledger  this  morning." 

A  great  deal  worse  !  "  said  Walter,  "  Mine  is  a  voluntary 
confinement." 

17* 


394  THE  WINKLES. 

"  Now,  pray,  explain  that  to  me.  The  letter  in  the  paper 
intimated  something  of  the  sort  which  I  couldn't  comprehend. 
I  could  not  see  any  reason  or  sense  in  remaining  in  such  a 
place,  where  one  had  the  option  of  going  out  of  it." 

Walter  explained  every  thing;  and  his  speech  was  suc 
ceeded  by  hearty  bursts  of  laughter. 

"  You  are  an  ingenious  rogue,  Walter  ;  and  I  heartily  for 
give  you.  And  you  will  be  certain  to  succeed,  since  you  see 
your  offended  aunt  has  been  brought  submissively  to  your  res 
cue.  Virginia  will  yield,  I  am  quite  sure ;  and  the  stratagem 
is  so  good  a  one,  that  I  will  do  all  in  my  power  to  assist  you. 
But  why  not  leave  this  place ;  she  will  not  know  it.  You 
could  date  your  notes  from  the  prison  in  your  comfortable 
room  at  the  hotel.  Let  me  go  to  the  magistrate " 

"  No — no — aunt.     The  magistrate  won't  know  you " 

"  If  he  won't  take  me  as  security,  I'll  give  him  a  check  for 
the  whole  amount !  " 

"  No,  no,  no  !  I  am  comfortable  here.  If  I  was  to  return 
to  my  hotel,  and  still  make  Virginia  believe  I  was  in  prison, 
she  would  never  forgive  me  after  finding  it  out.  Wait  till  the 
colonel  sees  her,  and  describes  my  interview  with " 

"  Why  do  you  pause  1     Interview  with  whom  ?  " 

After  binding  his  auditors  to  secrecy,  Walter  related 
what  had  transpired  with  Honoria. 

"  Still  it  was  a  pity,"  said  his  aunt,  "  that  you  did  not 
convert  that  poor  creature  from  Jesuitism.  You  might  have 
done  it." 

"  But  not  without  danger  of  losing  Virginia,"  said  Parke. 

"  I'm  glad  it  is  no  worse,  "  said  Wilsome.  Heigho ! 
But  this  is  a  tiresome  place !  Walter,  there  are  just  four  of 
us — clear  away  the  things  from  the  table,  and  let  us  have  a 
sociable  game  of  whist." 

"  We  should  be  interrupted,  aunt.  And  it  might  get 
into  the  papers." 

"  It  might  so  !  And  I  could  not  bear  to  have  curious 
persons  casting  their  vulgar  looks  at  us.  Suppose,  then,  I  go 
to  Virginia,  and  lament  over  your  sad  condition  ?  " 

"  That  will  do  !  "  cried  Walter.  "  Don't  ask  any  thing, 
aunt — no  concession — or  she  will  suspect  us,  and  tear  our 
scheme  to  tatters." 

"  I'll  take  your  company  along  with  me,  we  may  want  a 
game " 


VIRGINIA    INTERCEDES.  395 

"  You  may  have  the  poet,  but  not  George.  I  won't  trust 
him !  " 

"  And  I  won't  trust  myself !  said  Parke.  But  if  the  ne 
gotiation  should  finally  fail,  then  there  will  be  a  clear  field 
for  me." 

Miss  Wilsome,  taking  Pollen  with  her,  proceeded  to  the 
boarding  house,  where  she  found  Virginia  in  tears.  Her 
father  was  with  her,  having  returned  from  the  capitol,  and 
had  just  completed  the  recital  of  the  sufferings  of  our  hero, 
and  a  description  of  his  extraordinary  interview  with  Hono- 
ria. 

"  Oh,  dear,  good  Miss  Wilsome,"  cried  Virginia,  throwing 
her  arms  around  the  old  lady,  "  won't  you  go  with  my  father 
and  get  him  out  of  prison  ?  " 

"  Why  should  we  take  all  that  trouble  !  "  was  the  reply, 
"  when  he  declares  he  has  no  desire  to  live  any  longer  ?  " 

"  No  desire  to  live  any  longer  ?  " 

"  No,  none  at  all.  And  he  says  it  is  a  matter  of  perfect 
indifference  whether  he  dies  in  a  prison  or  a  palace." 

"  It  is  cruel  to  talk  thus  !  I  have  explained  to  papa  why 
I  was  offended  !  Any  one  would  have  come  to  the  same  conclu 
sion  I  did,  upon  the  same  information.  Now  if  it  be  true,  that 
my  displeasure  is  the  cause  of  his  misery,  you  may  assure 
him  it  exists  no  longer  !  Now  do  not  delay  in  obtaining  his 
release." 

"  There  will  be  no  delay  !  "  said  the  poet.  "  I  can  assure 
you,  Miss  Oakdale,  that  Walter  has  acted  with  the  strictest 
propriety  and  honor,  as  it  regards  this  Mrs.  Finable. " 

"  I  am  convinced  of  it.  Do  urge  my  father  and  Miss 
Wilsome  to  lose  no  time  in  taking  him  out  of  that  vile  prison  ! 
Go  to  him,  Mr.  Pollen,  and  say  I  shall  be  happy  to  see  him 
at  the  earliest  possible  moment.  And  pardon  my  seeming 
boldness  sir — but,  you  know  when  a  fellow-creature  is  in  dis 
tress " 

"  Fellow-creature — Fudge  !  "  exclaimed  the  colonel.  "  You 
must  promise — you  know  my  terms — or  I  won't  budge  a 
step." 

"  I  do  promise,  father  !  You  need  not  say  what  it  is — but 
hasten  !  " 

The  colonel  and  Pollen  then  repaired  to  the  magistrate 
and  obtained  Walter's  release.  The  poet  and  George  Parke 


396  THE   WINKLES. 

stopped  at  the  hotel,  and  Walter  hastened  to  appear  before 
his  appeased  mistress. 

Upon  hearing  the  bell  Virginia  ran  into  the  hall.  Walter 
caught  her  in  his  arms  and  seized  a  kiss  before  she  could 
utter  an  objection. 

"  Well,  that  business  is  settled,"  said  the  colonel — "  it 
was  done  on  the  wing,  and  Walter  is  a  good  shot.  Now  I 
will  return  to  the  Senate  chamber,  and  give  Mr.  Ralph  Ro 
land  his  quietus." 

"  Ralph  Roland  !  "  said  Walter,  looking  up  from  Virginia's 
blushing  face,  which  had  been  nestling  against  his  side. 

"  Yes.  He  has  been  appointed  consul  to  London,  and 
upon  the  recommendation  of  the  ubiquitous  Father  Xavier  ; 
but  as  one  of  the  Senate,  I  do  not  consent  to  it.  Take  care 
of  yourselves  until  I  return." 

The  colonel  hastened  away  to  the  capitol,  and  the  lovers 
joined  Miss  Wilsome  in  the  parlor. 

"  He  does  not  look  very  pale,"  said  Virginia. 

"  They  fed  him  well,  and "  Walter,  by  a  look  checked 

his  aunt.  "  But  you  have  triumphed  over  the  most  formida 
ble  rival,"  she  continued,  "  if  what  I  hear  be  true,  that  could 
have  been  pitted  against  you." 

"  She  is  beautiful,"  said  Virginia ;  "  I  saw  her  at  the 
party  ;  and  I  never  beheld  a  more  perfect  form,  or  more  lovely 
features.  I  am  sure  I  was  not  to  blame,  "  she  continued 
archly,  to  Walter,  u  for  giving  you  up  as  lost." 

"  But  to  think  that  when  she  was  so  lavish  of  her  gra 
cious  smiles,  she  was  plotting  my  defeat,  and  planning  my 
confinement  in  prison  !  She  is  too  dangerous  an  instrument 
ever  to  make  an  agreeable  wife." 

"  And  to  pass  for  a  married  woman  !  "  said  his  aunt,  con- 
tern  ptously.  "  She  must  be  an  unprincipled  creature  !  " 

"  Undoubtedly,  "  said  Walter.  "  And  I  have  warned  both 
Parke  and  Pollen  to  beware  of  her." 

"  I  hope  neither  of  them  will  seek  her  acquaintance,"  said 
Wilsome.  "  If  they  do,  I  shall  banish  them  from  my  sight 
for  ever." 

l'm  I  am  sorry  you  did  not  intimate  your  wishes  sooner, 
aunt ;  but  it  is  too  late  now.  The  poet  is  resolved  to  attend 

her  this  very  night  to  the  President's  soiree " 

'  I  believe  I  shall  go  too,  and  strip  his  coat  off " 


NEW   VISITORS.  397 

"  In  the  presence  of  all  the  company,  Miss  Wilsome?  " 
asked  Virginia. 

"  Yes.  It  is  not  his  own.  If  he  dares  to  follow  that  pa- 
pish  heifer,  he  need  never  expect  any  indulgence  from  me  ! 
And  I  hope  she'll  land  him  where  she  placed  Walter.  There 
he  may  die  !  " 

"  Mercy  on  me  !  "  said  Virginia,  aside  to  "Walter,  "  I'm 
afraid  she  loves  him  !  " 

"  By  what  symptom  do  you  judge  ?  "  asked  he,  signifi 
cantly. 

"  And  that  Southern  goat !  "  continued  Miss  Wilsome — 
"  no  doubt  he  proposed  it !  I  hope  they  may  be  punished  to 
their  heart's  content !  They  are  a  couple  of  young,  silly, 
headstrong  fools." 

A  servant  came  in  and  announced  that  a  gentleman,  whose 
name  was  not  given,  desired  to  see  Walter  in  the  hall. 

"  I  can't  leave  Virginia  so  soon,"  said  Walter.  a  If  he 
has  the  appearance  of  a  gentleman  conduct  him  hither." 

He  did  have  the  appearance  of  a  gentleman,  and  he  came 
in.  He  said  his  friend  Pollen  had  given  him  the  number  of 
the  house  where  Walter  could  be  found,  and  he  was  very 
happy  to  meet  with  him.  After  staring  at  him  a  few  moments 
Walter  sprung  up  and  shook  him  heartily  by  the  hand.  It 
was  Mr.  Glass,  the  actor,  whose  acquaintance  Walter  had 
made  at  the  the  police  station. 

Mr.  Glass  informed  his  young  friend  that  his  daughter  Delia 
had  escaped  the  persecutions  of  Roland  by  drawing  a  dagger 
in  her  own  defence.  She  had  then,  under  an  assumed  name, 
acted  in  one  of  the  Metropolitan  theatres,  and  acquired 
some  experience,  but  not  much  celebrity.  But,  acting  upon 
the  advice  of  Mr.  Lowe,  who  subsequently  became  the  Earl 
of  Hilton,  and  bearing  with  them  a  letter  from  him,  they  had 
appeared  upon  the  London  boards,  where  they  achieved  deci 
ded  success.  And  now  his  Delia,  the  actor  continued  with 
grateful  tears  in  his  eyes,  was  a  star  of  the  first  magnitude, 
and  overwhelmed  with  offers  of  advantageous  engagements. 
Mr.  Glass  then  said  his  daughter  would  soon  appear  in  Wash 
ington,  and  he  hoped  Walter  and  his  friends  would  honor  her 
with  their  presence. 


398  THE   WINKLES. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

WALTER  EETUENS    WITH    VIRGINIA    AND    HIS    AUNT    TO     PHILA 
DELPHIA. 

COLONEL  OAKDALE  was  in  high  spirits.  His  casting  vote  had 
defeated  Roland's  nomination ;  and  the  prominent  men  in  the 
opposition  waited  upon  him  at  his  boarding-house  to  felicitate 
him  upon  his  successful  demonstration.  They  desired  like 
wise  to  make  the  acquaintance  of  Walter  and  Virginia ;  for 
the  colonel  had,  in  a  confidential  way,  made  known  to  his 
friends  that  the  secret  of  the  young  man's  persistence  in  re 
maining  in  prison  might  find  a  solution  in  the  approaching  nup 
tials  of  his  daughter. 

Hence  there  was  a  gay  and  brilliant  company  that  night 
assembled  in  the  parlors  of  the  boarding-house  on  F  street. 
The  colonel's  quarrel  with  the  President  was  the  theme  of  con 
versation  in  all  the  political  circles ;  and  whenever  it  was  men 
tioned,  it  was  likewise  repeated  that  his  daughter  was  to  be 
espoused  by  Walter  Winkle,  the  brave  young  man  who  had 
been  imprisoned  for  an  attempt  to  resent  an  insult.  While 
among  the  initiated  it  was  understood  that  our  hero,  at  the 
moment  of  disaster,  had  the  address  to  retrieve  his  fortune  by 
an  original  conception  of  the  mind,  which  would  never  have 
occurred  to  any  one  not  gifted  with  some  degree  of  genius. 

Therefore  the  parlors  where  our  party  sojourned  were 
crowded  with  a  constant  succession  of  visitors.  And  so  many 
notes  of  congratulation,  written  on  scented  paper,  were  received 
by  Walter,  from  unknown  friends,  that  Virginia  really  became 
alarmed,  and  begged  her  father  to  permit  her  to  return  with 
Miss  Wilsome  to  Philadelphia  the  next  day. 

Walter  sanctioned  the  proposition ;  and  exhibiting  the  letter 
from  Sergeant  Blore^  declared  his  intention  of  setting  out  for 
home  the  next  morning. 

The  next  day  there  was  rejoicing  among  certain  persons  in 
Washington  when  it  was  reported  that  young  Winkle  had  left 
the  city,  and  did  not  intend  to  make  any  pause  at  Bladensburg. 
The  magistrate  was  greatly  relieved  by  the  intelligence,  for  he 
had  received  a  message  from  the  White  House  to  the  effect 
that  the  young  lion  was  to  be  kept  caged  until  he  became  per 
fectly  docile. 


RETURN    TO   PHILADELPHIA.  399 

Arrived  at  Philadelphia,  Walter  conducted  Virginia  to  her 
aunt  Nitre's. 

"  I  am  so  rejoiced !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  N.,  when  she  came  in 
to  the  parlor,  where  our  loving  couple  were  laughing  over  the 
recent  events  at  Washington,  and  particularly  at  the  proposi 
tion  of  Miss  Wilsome  to  have  a  game  in  prison.  "  Yes,  I  am 
happy  to  see  you  both  safely  back  again.  Washington  is  a 
terrible  place.  Never  go  there  any  more,  Walter  !  " 

"  I  must  go  when  they  elect  me  to  Congress,"  said  Wal 
ter. 

"  But  you  are  not  to  be  a  candidate,  unless  you  pledge 
yourself  never  to  fight  a  duel,"  said  Virginia.  "  Recollect 
your  promise." 

"  I  recollect  it — and  will  observe  it.  I  promised  never  to 
send  another  challenge." 

"  Nor  must  you  accept  one." 

"  Come  in,  doctor!  "  cried  Mrs.  N.,  hearing  her  husband 
descending  the  stairs.  "  Here  are  none  but  friends." 

The  doctor  entered,  and  evinced  the  satisfaction  he  felt  at 
seeing  the  young  people  reconciled  to  each  other,  and  safely  re 
turned  from  Washington. 

"  I  wanted  the  doctor  to  post  off  to  Washington,"  said  Mrs. 
N.,  "  as  soon  as  I  saw  the  horrible  paper;  but  he  wouldn't ! 
Men  have  no  feeling.  He  said  his  business  would  suffer ;  I 
told  him  he  had  made  money  enough.  He  said  his  patients 
would  die ;  I  told  him  he  might  save  Walter's  life.  All  would 
not  do.  Men  have  no  feeling,  Walter." 

"  Excuse  me,  madam,"  said  Walter,  indignant  at  hear 
ing  Mrs.  N.  always  abusing  her  husband,  and  one  of  the  best 
husbands  in  the  world — "  but  I  think  the  doctor  did  perfectly 
right.  He  could  have  done  me  no  service,  I  am  sure.  There 
were  an  abundance  of  friends  who  were  willing  to  be  my  sure 
ties  and  release  me  from  confinement — but " 

"  Upon  my  word,"  said  Virginia,  "  it  has  never  yet  been 
satisfactorily  explained  to  me  why  you  remained  in  prison^ when 
you  could  have  walked  out." 

"  It  is  a  long  tale,"  said  Walter.  "  But  I  was  indifferent 
to  my  fate  unless  restored — you  know.  I  will  tell  you  every 
thing  some  day.  I  must  bid  you  adieu,  now,  until  I  return 
from  Babbleton " 

"  No,  no  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  N.  "  You  don't  know  what  the 


400  THE   WINKLES. 

colonel  says  in  his  letter  to  me.  /  am  to  be  the  director  of 
your  actions " 

"Eh?  "said  Walter. 

"  I  mean  that  Virginia  is  to  be  under  my  control,  and  I 
suppose  you  will  not  be  rebellious." 

"  After  seeing  my  mother  and  my  uncle,  you  may  com 
mand  me.  Till  then,  adieu."  After  lingering  a  moment  in 
the  hall  with  Virginia,  Walter  hastened  away. 


CHAPTER  XXXV. 


WALTEE  EETUENS  HOME— MEETS  WITH  JOHN  DOWLY— LUCY  AND 
HEE  BEOTHEE  HASTEN  TO  THEIE  UNCLE-WHAT  TEANSPIEES 
THEEE. 

WHEN  Walter  descended  from  the  cars  in  front  of  the  inn, 
he  espied  Sergeant  Blore  peeping  at  him  through  the  bar-room 
window,  and  he  beckoned  him  to  come  out.  Blore,  after  a 
hasty  reconnoissance  from  the  door  ventured  forth,  bestowing 
many  military  salutations  on  our  hero.  Walter  put  an  end  to 
the  company  by  taking  the  sergeant's  hand  between  both  of  his, 
and  shaking  it  heartily. 

"  How  is  my  uncle  ?  "  was  Walter's  first  question. 

"  In  great  danger  of  being  taken,"  said  the  sergeant. 

"  Danger  of  being  taken  ?  " 

"Yes,  he  is  surrounded  and  undermined,  and  would  not 
have  held  out  this  long,  if  it  hadn't  been  for  Bawson,  who  is 
a  spy  in  both  camps,  and  serves  the  party  best  which  pays 
the  most.  It  is  fortunate  that  the  enemy  is  miserly,  or  my 
chest  would  soon  be  exhausted." 

"  But  how  is  my  uncle's  health  ?  " 

"  Worse  and  worse.  Every  day  the  doctor  comes  and  says 
he's  no  better.  Then  what  does  he  come  for  ?  Why,  to  kill 
him !  And  the  sheepskin-faced  priest  is  there,  too,  and  of 
course  the  patient  will  die  !  But  you  will  revive  him  a  little. 
He's  always  babbling  about  you,  and  Lucy,  who  arrived  this 
morning. — The  enemy !  " 

When  Blore  made  the  last  exclamation  he  sprang  behind 
Walter,  and  endeavored  to  cover  his  body  from  the  observa- 


WALTER    RETURNS   HOME.  401 

tion  of  Mrs.  Edwards,  who  was  standing  in  the  door  of  Lowe's 
cottage  and  gazing  towards  the  inn. 

"  Don't  be  alarmed,  sergeant;  I  did  not  think  mortal  woman 
could  so  terrify  a  brave  soldier." 

"  Neither  mortal  man  or  woman  can  frighten  me,"  said 
the  sergeant.  "  But  that  is  a  she-devil !  You  should  have 
heard  her  tongue  in  the  camp.  I've  seen  a  whole  mess  put  to 
flight  by  her,  the  next  hour  after  they  had  gained  a  great  victory 
over  the  enemy.  If  she  sees  us,  Walter,  you  must  protect  me, 
won't  you  ?  " 

"  Certainly.  But  if  you  would  carry  with  you  a  long 
hickory  switch " 

"  I  tried  it. — You  might  as  well  cut  a  shadow.  The  devil 
is  in  her,  you  may  rely  upon  it.  She's  nothing  but  a  shadow 
herself,  a  mere  skeleton — a  bundle  of  bones  tied  up  in  a 
bag  of  skin.  But  she  has  the  voice  of  a  volcano,  and  the 
strength  of  a  roaring  lion.  I  have  her  stripes  on  my  body  ! 
She's  gone  in her  !  And  now  we  are  safe." 

But  Mrs.  Edwards  had  caught  a  glimpse  of  the  sergeant 
as  she  was  closing  the  door,  and  immediately  re-opened  it. 
"  The  she-devil  saw  me  through  the  door  !  "  said  the  sergeant. 
"  I'll  run  in  here,  and  enter  by  the  back  way."  He  dodged 
into  the  yard  through  a  small  gate  he  found  open,  which  he 
closed  and  bolted  behind  him. 

Walter  stumbled  over  the  leaping  and  barking  Dew  at  the 
door,  and  the  next  moment  was  embraced  by  his  mother  and 
sister. 

"  Lucy  !  "  said  he,  after  they  were  seated  in  the  parlor, 
"you  cannot  know  how  much  you  have  improved  in  ap 
pearance  !  " 

"  That  is  precisely  what  I  have  been  saying,"  said  Mrs. 
Winkle. 

"  She  is  the  most  lovely  creature  I  ever  saw  !  "  continued 
Walter.  "  Lowe  shall  not  have  her,  unless  he  stays •" 

u  Such  language — even  from  us — "  said  Mrs.  W.  "  makes 
the  poor  child  blush,  although  she  knows  it  is  not  flattery. 
What  you  say  about  Mr.  Lowe,  Walter " 

"  Is  Walter's  nonsense  !  "  said  Lucy.  "  He  knows  he  is 
opposed  to  foreigners  exercising  any  rights  in  this  country." 

"  Rites,  you  mean,  eh  ?  " 

"  No  matter — I  don't  belong  to  your  party — you  Know 
Nothing " 

"  We'll  see  !    But " 


402  THE    WINKLES. 

"  Who's  there,  Biddy  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  W.  of  the  maid  who 
appeared  at  the  door. 

"  Dill  Bizzle,  mam." 

"  She  will  never  learn  his  name,"  said  Lucy,  as  often  as 
she  repeats  it.  Well,  what  does  Bill  want  ?  " 

"  He's  brung  two  ducks  and  a  pike,  which  he  begs  with  his 
comp'ments  for  you  except." 

"  No,"  said  Walter—"  Bill  must  be  paid.  I'm  rich.  Give 
him  that,  Biddy.  "  He  sent  Bill  a  quarter-eagle." 

"  And  pray  how  did  you  become  rich  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  W. 

Walter  informed  his  mother  and  sister  of  his  reconcilia 
tion  with  his  Aunt  Wilsome,  who  had  given  him  a  check  for 
$500,  and  he  had  drawn  the  money  that  morning.  He  told 
them,  moreover,  that  his  aunt  would  be  at  his  wedding. 

"  Your  wedding  !  "  said  Lucy. 

u  Yes,  and  yours.  She  sanctions  both  matches,  and  says 
she  knew  Lowe  was  a  gentleman.  She  shed  tears  when  she 
saw  me  in  prison." 

u  Wilsome  never  does  any  thing  by  halves,"  said  Mrs.  W., 
"  her  heart  melted  when  your  father  died,  and  it  was  with 
difficulty  I  could  prevent  her  from  bestowing  her  fortune  on 
me,  although  neither  of  us  knew  the  embarrassed  condition  of 
her  brother's  estate." 

"  And  she  has  forgiven  Uncle  Napoleon,"  added  Walter. 
"  She  believes  he  will  not  survive  long,  and  is  ready  to  see 
him  whenever  he  desires  it.  I  must  hasten  to  his  side,  and 
you  must  accompany  me,  Lucy,,  for  if  the  sergeant's  tale  be 
true,  he  is  in  a  dangerous  condition." 

"  You  must  wait  until  John  Dowly  comes,"  said  Mrs. 
Winkle.  "  He  will  be  here  soon,  and  then  you  can  use  his 

gig." 

"  I  love  him  !  "  said  both  Walter  and  Lucy,  for  they  had 
been  informed  of  his  acts  of  generosity. 

"  Now  tell  me  about  the  Arums  and  Cradles,"  said 
Walter. 

Lucy  gave  him  all  the  information  she  could  in  relation  to 
them,  including  the  most  recent  conquest  of  Bell,  which  was  a 
tufted  cornet-a-piston  player,  belonging  to  the  orchestra  of 
the  circus.  He  had  passed  himself  as  a  French  count,  and 
so  adroitly  did  he  play  his  part,  that  he  absolutely  led  Miss 
Arum  to  the  altar 

"  To  the  altar !  "  exclaimed  Walter. 


JOHN    DOWLY.  403 

"  To  the  altar  !  "  repeated  Lucy.  "But  when  the  priest — 
a  Jesuit,  for  the  count  of  course  was  a  foreigner •" 

"  Of  course  !  "  said  Walter. 

"  When  he  called  upon  the  witnesses,  if  any  of  them  knew 
any  impediment,  to  come  forward,  one  did  step  forward " 

" Indeed?" 

"  Yes,  indeed.  It  was  the  noble  old  Col.  Ball,  and  with 
a  blow  of  his  cane,  he  felled  the  impostor  !  " 

«  Capital ! " 

"  He  then  whispered  in  Bell's  ear  that  the  fellow  was  a 
circus  cornet-a-piston  player,  on  a  salary  of  four  dollars  a 
week !  " 

"  What  did  poor  Bell  say  ?  " 

u  Nothing.  She  grasped  the  colonel's  proffered  arm  and 
hastened  out  of  the  church  !  " 

"  But  what  did  the  priest  say  ?  " 

tl  Oh,  he  was  furious.  The  colonel  gave  him  his  card,  and 
said  he  should  be  happy  to  have  the  pleasure  of  shooting  him 
through  the  body  the  next  morning  at  Hoboken.  And  if  he 
could  not  conveniently  or  consistently  meet  him  himself,  he 
might  send  a  substitute,  or  a  dozen  of  them,  and  he  would 
fight  them  all.  And  I  learned  afterwards  that  the  colonel  did 
promenade  the  bank  for  an  hour  the  next  day,  but  no  antago 
nist  sought  him." 

"  After  that,  I  suppose  the  girls  beat  a  retreat  from  the 
city?" 

"  Oh,  yes.  They  are  here,  now.  And  Susan  is  in  love 
with  your  friend  George  Parke.  She  believes  he  will  come 
for  her  some  day,  and  she  is  determined  to  wait  for  him. 
Yonder  is  the  old  gig  !  " 

They  ran  to  the  window  and  saw  old  John  Dowly  descend 
from  his  vehicle.  He  left  his  gentle  horse  unfastened,  know 
ing  he  could  not  be  made  to  run  away,  and  then  knocked  very 
gravely  at  the  door,  as  he  used  to  do  before  bells  were  in 
general  use. 

Lucy  was  the  first  to  meet  the  old  gentleman,  and  she 
threw  her  arms  round  his  neck  and  kissed  him  ! 

"  My  beautiful,  lovely  child  !  "  said  the  old  man,  manifest 
ing  his  delight  through  his  tears.  "  This  is  the  happiest 
moment  of  my  life  !  " 

"  You  have  been  our  benefactor — our  protector — the  friend 
of  the  widow  and  her  orphans  !  "  said  Walter. 


404  THE    WINKLES. 

"  I  had  none  of  my  own — I  had  none  of  my  own  !  " 

"  No  widow  of  his  own  !  "  said  the  widow,  smiling. 

"  I  am  so  happy  I  don't  know  what  I  say  !  "  replied  the 
old  bachelor.  "  But  I  have  endeavored  to  do  what  I  felt  to 
be  right,  and  I  shall  never  regret  it." 

"  No,  Mr.  Dowly  !  "  said  Walter.  "  You  will  never  re 
gret  it.  Your  Maker  will  reward  you,  if  we  should  never  be 
able  to  do  so." 

"  Don't  say  a  word  about  reward !  If  you  knew  what 
dreams  I  have  every  night,  you  would  say  I  have  been  already 
repaid  a  thousand  fold.  I  am  rich.  I  have  quietly  been  ac 
cumulating  wealth  for  many  years — not  as  a  selfish  and 
miserable  miser,  as  some  in  the  city  suspected — but  for  a 
good  purpose.  And  now  my  object  is  accomplished.  Lucy 
shall  have  a  dowry  worthy  a  countess  !  " 

"  Mr.  Dowly  !  "  cried  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"She  shall !  I  say  she  shall !  On  the  day  of  her  mar 
riage  she  shall  place  in  her  noble  husband's  hand — I  mean 
noble  in  heart,  for  I  know  him  well,  and  have  known  him 
long— sterling  bills  for  £50,000  !  " 

"  Are  you  not  raving,  Mr.  Dowly  ?  "  asked  Walter. 

"  You'll  see  !  and  the  remainder  of  my  fortune " 

"  What  ?  will  there  be  any  left  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Winkle. 

"  Shall  go  to — no  matter.  But  this,  I  may  say  :  a  certain 
mortgage  for  $10,000  has  been  conveyed  to  a  certain  young 
lady,  loved  by  a  certain  young  gentleman,  of  my  acquaintance. 
It  is  recorded  in  tho  clerk's  office."- 

"  And  will  you  not  be  a  beggar  yourself?"  asked  Lucy, 
while  she  pressed  the  old  gentleman's  hand  to  her  lips. 

"  So  far  from  it,  I  intend  to  build  a  new  house,  and  live 
more  elegantly  than  I  have  done  hitherto.  And  I  shall  begin 
anew  this  very  day,  to  enjoy  the  bounties  which  my  Maker  has 
bestowed  upon  us  for  our  comfort  and  happiness.  I  will  dine 
here,  and  drink  a  cheerful  glass  of  wine,  and  talk  over  old 
matters  with  your  mother,  if  she  will  permit  me." 

l£  Permit  you  !  "  said  Lucy — and  the  tears  gushed  from 
her  eyes. 

"  God  bless  you,  John  Dowly  !  "  said  the  widow — "  and 
may  he  forgive  me,  if  I  did  wrong  in  rejecting  so  generous 
a  heart " 

"  Tut— tut !     Not  a  word  about  that !   Better  as  it  is  !   I 


A    VISIT    TO    NAPOLEON.  405 

never  could  have  been  so  happy.  I  am  now  brother,  uncle, 
father — Bless  my  life  !  What  a  scene  !  " 

He  had  turned  his  face  towards  the  window,  where  he 
beheld  Mrs.  Edwards  leading  Sergeant  Blore  by  the  ear,  an 
unresisting  captive. 

"  I'll  rescue  Blore,  or  die  in  the  attempt !  "  said  Walter. 
And  he  rushed  into  the  street  and  reprimanded  the  woman  in 
terms  of  indignation. 

"  He  is  my  usband,  please  sir,"  said  Mrs.  E.,  relinquishing 
Blore's  ear,  "  hand  hit  his  a  most  hextrahordinary  thing  hif  I 
can't  harrest  my  hown  desarter  !  " 

"  Go  in,  Mrs.  Edwards,"  said  Walter.  "  Hide  your  head 
in  shame,  for  you  were  the  first. to  abandon  your  conjugal 
partner.  You  married  again  while  he  remained  true.  You 
have  no  just  claim  upon  him  now.  If  you  create  any  disturb 
ance  in  the  street,  I  shall  have  you  arrested." 

"  Thank  you,  Walter  !  "  said  Blore,  when  Mrs.  Edwards 
had  vanished.  "  She  wants  my  money — but  you  shall  have 

"  Not  I.  Keep  it  for  your  declining  years.  But  do  not 
let  this  woman  distress  you  any  more.  If  she  again  assaults 
you,  let  me  know  it." 

"  I  will.  If  she  was  only  a  man,  I  would  call  her  out  and 
settle  with  pistols.  I  don't  know  what  would  have  happened 
if  she  had  got  me  in  the  house !  Such  creatures  are  made  to 
punish  us  for  our  sins !  Sometimes  I  think  I  will  blow  out 
my  brains,  and  give  her  the  slip  that  way.  But  after  that, 
who  knows  if  I  wouldn't  some  day  meet  her  again  ?  " 

"  You  must  not  have  any  such  thoughts,  sergeant.  I  will 
ask  her  master  to  send  her  home  to  England." 

"  If  he  does  that,  I  shall  be  a  happy  man.  Now  I  must 
go  to  your  uncle.  I  would  have  been  half  way  there  now  if 
she  hadn't  waylaid  me." 

"  I  shall  follow  you  soon.  Tell  him  so.  And  Lucy  will 
accompany  me." 

Blore  hurried  away  under  cover  of  Walter's  protection, 
though  casting  an  occasional  glance  behind  until  he  was  out 
of  sight. 

Shortly  afterwards,  Walter  and  Lucy  drove  out  towards 
Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle's  country  mansion  in  Mr.  Dowly's  old 
gig.  As  the  gentle  horse  moved  along  at  his  accustomed  easy 
pace,  Lucy,  after  exacting  a  promise  from  her  brother  not  to 


406  THE   WINKLES. 

use  any  violence,  related  the  manner  of  Roland's  stratagem 
to  inveigle  her  into  a  clandestine  marriage,  and  all  his  subse 
quent  annoyances.  Walter,  with  quivering  limbs  and  a  pale 
brow,  said  he  would  not  violate  his  pledge ;  but  that  if  he 
were  not  so  restrained,  he  should  certainly  chastise  the  villain 
with  the  utmost  severity. 

When  they  arrived  in  front  of  the  stately  old  mansion,  the 
industrious  Bill  Dizzle  was  already  there  in  readiness  to  open 
the  gate.  Walter  thanked  him  for  his  attention,  and  knowing 
that  he  could  bestow  no  greater  pleasure  on  the  frog-hunter 
than  to  employ  his  services,  threw  him  the  reins  when  they 
descended,  and  requested  him  to  drive  back  to  the  village 
and  leave  the  vehicle  at  his  mother's  door,  and  to  thank  Mr. 
Dowly  in  his  name  for  the  use  of  it.  Bill  soon  made  the  old 
horse  strike  into  a  brisker  gait  than  the  one  he  had  been  ac 
customed  to. 

Walter  and  Lucy  passed  through  a  file  of  Griselda's  star 
ing  servants,  and  mounted  the  great  stairway  leading  towards 
their  uncle's  chamber.  They  entered,  and  beheld  Father 
Xavier  and  Griselda  standing  at  the  fire-place,  one  at  each 
corner  of  the  mantelpiece,  with  their  eyes  immovably  fixed  on 
the  bed,  where  the  patient  was  lying.  Sergeant  Blore  was 
seated  near  his  friend,  holding  one  of  his  hands.  Mr.  Winkle 
lay  on  his  back  with  his  eyes  closed. 

"  Is  he  asleep  ?  "  asked  Walter,  in  a  whisper. 

"  Oh,  my  dear  uncle !  "  said  Lucy,  in  a  voice  of  distress. 

"  Hush  !  Make  no  noise !  "  said  Griselda,  coming  for 
ward,  and  nodding  gravely  to  the  visitors.  Father  Xavier 
muttered  a  benediction  in  Latin. 

li  How  do  you  feel,  uncle  ?  "  asked  Walter,  seeing  the  pa 
tient  remove  his  hand,  which  Blore  had  been  holding,  and 
silently  grasp  his  own.  Walter,  in  obedience  to  the  patient's 
wish,  as  indicated  by  his  motion,  bent  down  his  ear. 

"  I  am  better,"  whispered  he.  Walter  could  not  repress  a 
smile,  which  Lucy's  quick  eyes  detected,  and  her  heart  beat 
less  violently. 

"  My  uncle  desires  every  one  to  leave  the  room,"  said 
Walter,  in  a  voice  of  command,  "  but  my  sister  and  myself." 

After  lingering  a  moment,  Griselda  followed  the  priest  out 
of  the  room  ;  and  Blore,  comprehending  Walter's  significant 
nod,  joined  the  retiring  party,  and  prevented  them  from  lis 
tening  at  the  key-hole. 


FEIGNED    SICKNESS.  407 

The  old  gentleman,  with  eyes  wide  open,  rose  up  on  his 
elbow,  and  listened  to  the  departing  footsteps ;  and  when  Wal 
ter  turned  the  key,  he  sat  upright  in  bed,  with  a  broad  smile 
on  his  face. 

"  I  am  glad,  uncle — "  began  Lucy. 

"  Hush  !  "  said  he.     "  Wait  a  moment !  " 

"  I  do  not  see  why  you  should  be  in  such  dread  of  them," 
said  Walter. 

':  Wait  till  you  are  married  !  "  said  his  uncle. 

"  But  are  you  not  ill  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  No  !  My  health  is  perfect.  It  is  a  mere  stratagem. 
You  shall  know  all.  Even  Blorc  is  ignorant  of  my  condition 
and  purpose.  He  might  hold  his  tongue,  but  his  face  speaks 
his  feelings,  and  would  betray  the  secret.  Dr.  Prangle  has 
been  my  only  confederate." 

"  But  why  should  you  be  reduced  to  the  necessity  of  re. 
sorting  to  such  expedients  ?  "  asked  Lucy. 

"  Because  I  have  a  Tartar  for  my  wife  ;  an  instrument  of 
the  Jesuits,  with  the  whole  inquisition  at  her  back.  I  was  a 
prisoner  in  effect.  I  could  not  live  with  a  sour,  dissatisfied, 
scolding  woman.  Well,  when  I  complied  with  all  her  caprices, 
she  was  a  sugar-plum,  or  seemed  so ;  but  when  I  opposed  her 
slightest  whim,  she  was  a  green  persimmon.  By  this  system 
she  obtained  by  imperceptible  degrees  the  complete  mastery. 
Every  one  yielded  to  her,  and  I  among  the  rest.  I  could  not 
mount  my  horse,  nor  even  walk  in  the  orchard  or  garden, 
without  incurring  her  acid  looks,  and  often  a  storm  of  bitter 
invectives.  For  the  sake  of  peace,  I  confined  myself  to  my  li 
brary,  and  read  once  more  the  campaigns  of  the  great  genius  ; 
when,  suddenly,  my  peace  was  interrupted  by  a  discovery  that 
my  real  estate  could  not  be  alienated  from  the  family  by  my 
will.  Then  I  perceived  very  plainly  the  game  my  spouse  had 
been  playing,  and  comprehended  the  motive  of  the  Jesuit's 
frequent  visits.  I  happened  to  be  reading,  just  then,  the  ac 
count  of  the  emperor's  attempt  to  commit  suicide,  after  his 
first  abdication ;  and  the  suggestion  of  some  one  that  it  was 
not  a  serious  attempt  to  take  his  own  life,  but  done  for  some 
other  purpose,  caused  me  to  conceive  the  idea  of  pretending 
to  be  dangerously  ill.  After  some  little  persuasion,  the  doctor 
became  my  confederate.  I  hear  him  coming,  now  !  "  He  re 
sumed  his  former  attitude,  lying  on  his  back  with  his  eyes 
nearly  closed. 


408  THE   WINKLES. 

"  How  do  you  do  ?  How  do  you  do  ?  "  said  the  doctor, 
upon  entering  the  room,  and  shaking  hands  with  Walter  and 
Lucy.  "  I  am  glad  to  find  you  with  your  poor  uncle.  Ill 
ness  is  a  most  distressing  affliction,  when  one's  relatives  are 
not  near  to  nurse  him.  How  do  you  find  yourself  this 
morning,"  continued  the  doctor,  taking  the  patient's  wrist. 

"  They  know  all,  doctor.  No  more  nonsense,"  said  the 
old  gentleman,  resuming  his  upright  position.  "  We  must 
n-ow  begin  to  look  for  results,  for  the  critical  moment  is  at 
hand.  I  await  only  the  arrival  of  my  sister  Wilsome  to 
strike  the  decisive  blow.  Walter  is  now  writing  her  to  come 
to-rnorrow.  Go  to  the  enemy,  doctor,  and  tell  them  I  can't 
possibly  survive  more  than  another  day.  You  can  convince 
them  of  my  danger,  and  leave  your  prescription  with  them, 
which  they  will  throw  in  the  fire,  or  if  the  medicine  be  pro 
cured,  1  will  throw  it  out  of  the  window.  But  you  shall  be 
paid,  doctor." 

The  doctor  smiled,  and  then  adjusting  his  features  into 
their  accustomed  grave  expression,  sought  Griselda,  and  the 
Jesuit  priest. 

"  Uncle  !  "  said  Walter,  "  it  seems  to  me  you  might  have 
iccomplished  your  object  by  a  more  direct  means ' 

"  You  know  nothing " 

"  He  is  a  Know  Nothing,  uncle,"  said  Lucy. 

"  What's  that  ?  I  never  heard  of  them  before  the  priest 
came  here.  They  seem  to  frighten  him  very  much." 

11  Two  thirds  of  the  voters  in  the  county  belong  to  our  or 
der,"  said  Walter. 

"  No  matter.  What  I  meant  to  say  was  that  you  can 
never  know  the  influence  of  a  wife  until  you  have  one.  But 
mine,  Inow  perceive,  is  altogether  unworthy  of  me,  and  I  in 
tend  to  send  her  back  to  her  milliner's  shop.  But  there  must  be 
a  denouement,  an  eclair 'tissement,  and  her  Jesuitical  confederate 
must  be  punished.  You  will  like  the  sport,  Walter.  I  see  the 
anticipated  diversion  in  your  eye.  But  be  grave,  and  sorrow 
ful  until  to-morrow.  And  in  the  mean  time  make  the  necessary 
preparations.  You  may  consult  Blore,  if  you  think  he  won't  be 
tray  us  by  his  honest  looks.  And  Lucy  must  be  prepared  to 
take  command  of  the  establishment.  Employ  a  new  cook,  and 
discharge  all  Griselda's  servants.  Write  to  your  mother.  She 
will  assist.  Send  it  by  Dizzle.  Now  I  must  lie  down  and 
close  my  eyes,  and  pick  the  bed-clothes.  I  hear  them  coming. 


THE  PHYSICIAN'S  OPINION.  409 

Recollect  I  am  not  to  be  left  alone  again.  One  of  you  must 
be  in  the  room  day  and  night  until  the  time  comes  for  me  to 
throw  off  the  mask  and  resume  the  command." 

The  priest  came  in  chanting  certain  passages  from  the 
prayer-book,  followed  by  Griselda  in  tears.  Blore's  single 
eye  resembled  Mars  in  hazy  weather. 

"  The  doctor  says  there  will  be  a  change  at  noon  ! 
to-morrow  ! "  said  Griselda,  in  a  low  voice  to  Lucy. 

"  I  hope  it  will  be  for  the  better, "  said  Lucy,  hiding  her 
face. 

"  He  fears  the  worst — and  he  tells  us  to  prepare  for  the 
worst ! " 

Lucy  buried  her  face  in  the  bed-clothes,  and  remained  si 
lent  near  her  uncle.  Blore's  eye  brightened  upon  observing 
a  significant  wink  from  Walter,  and  he  followed  him  out  of 
the  room  and  down  the  stairs. 

"  Bawson  is  not  here,"  said  Walter,  when  they  were  out 
in  the  lawn. 

"  No,  sir — he  can't  come  till  to-morrow.  He's  taking  the 
deposition  of  a  sick  man  who  swears  he  married  Ralph  Ro 
land  to  Bets  Dizzle,  and  that  he  was  a  preacher  at  the  time, 
with  authority  to  marry.  But  that  makes  no  difference.  Your 
uncle  has  the  last  will  in  bed  with  him  under  his  shirt.  But 
I'm  afraid  he  won't  have  an  opportunity  to  sign  it !  If  you 
will  give  the  order,  I'll  march  a  file  of  soldiers  in  with  fixed 
bayonets,  and  masks  on,  so  she  can  never  know  them.  Then 
he  can  sign.  And  then  they  won't  let  him  die — I'll  answer 
for  that.  " 

"  I  have  a  still  better  scheme,  sergeant,"  said  Walter. 
He  then  imparted  to  the  astonished  and  delighted  Blore  the 
stratagem  of  his  uncle,  and  they  set  about  concerting  the 
measures  which  the  circumstances  of  the  case  seemed  to  de 
mand. 


CHAPTER    XXXVI. 

EXPULSION     OF    THE     JESUITS. 

BEFORE  the  hour  arrived  for  the  change  foretold  by  the  doc 
tor,  Miss  Wilsome  Winkle  had  reached  Babbleton,  where  she 
18 


410  THE   WINKLES. 

was  met  by  Walter,  and  informed  of  every  thing  that  had 
transpired.  She  readily  entered  into  the  scheme  for  the  over 
throw  of  the  "  impudent  hussy,"  as  she  never  ceased  to  term 
her  brother's  wife. 

Every  thing  being  in  readiness,  Walter  conducted  his  aunt 
to  his  uncle's  house,  and  led  her  into  the  chamber  of  the  pa 
tient,  where  Lucy  had  been  left  to  watch,  and  where  Griselda 
and  the  priest  were  standing  on  either  side  of  the  bed. 

"  Is  that  you,  sister  ?  "  asked  the  patient. 

"  It  is,  brother — get  out  of  the  way.  Gusset !  "  said  Wilsome, 
thrusting  Griselda  aside,  much  to  the  chagrin  of  the  latter. 

"  The  doctor  says  I  must  not  let  him  be  disturbed,"  said 
Griselda. 

"  Sit  down  by  me,  Wilsome,"  said  Napoleon.  "  I  feel  a 
change  approaching.  You  will  stand  your  ground  manfully, 
won't  you,  sister  ?  " 

"  Never  fear  !  All  the  men  and  women  and  milliners  in 
the  world  can't  frighten  me  !  " 

"  His  intellects  are  wandering,'3  said  the  priest. 

"  Do  you  think  so  ?  "  asked  the  patient  quickly,  and  rising 
upright  in  bed. 

"  Mr.  Winkle  !  "  cried  Griselda. 

"  Mrs.  Winkle  !  "  said  the  patient,  in  a  manly"  tone,  "  I 
command  you  to  bring  hither  my  will." 

«  Your  will?" 

"  Yes — my  will.  I  want  to  read  it  to  my  relatives,  so 
that  they  may  know  what  disposition  I  have  determined  to 
make  of  my  property.  Be  quick — for  the  change  is  upon 
me!" 

"  Bring  it,  daughter,"  said  the  priest,  "  and  likewise  per 
mit  the  lawyer  who  wrote  it,  to  enter.  Good  people,"  he  add 
ed,  when  Griselda  went  out,  "  the  will  in  question  was  signed 
when  his  mind  was  clear  and  steady " 

"  Good  for  you,  father  Xavier  !  I  will  acknowledge  to  as 
much.  There  shall  be  no  dispute  on  that  point.  Now,"  he 
continued,  taking  the  instrument  from  the  reluctant  hands  of 
his  wife,  "  I  will  read  the  will  myself." 

"  He  then  proceeded  to  read  with  a  firm  voice.  In  the 
first  paragraph,  for  the  repose  of  his  soul,  and  for  the  benefit 
of  the  pious  order,  of  which  the  priest  was  a  member,  there 
was  a  devise  of  one  hundred  thousand  dollars,  in  six  per  cent, 
city  bonds.  The  remainder  of  his  personal  estate,  with  the 


NAPOLEON'S  WILL.  411 

exception  of  a  few  trifling  legacies,  was  bequeathed  to  his 
dearly  beloved  wife  ! 

"  Gusset,  this  thing  is  a  contrivance  of  yours  !  "  said  Wil- 
some,  taking  the  instrument  out  of  her  brother's  hand. 

"  I  won't  be  insulted  in  my  own  house !  "  said  Griselda, 
snatching  the  will  away  from  Wilsome. 

"  Let  me  have  the  custody  of  it,"  said  the  priest,  putting 
it  in  his  bosom. 

"  You  impudent  bonnet-makes !  "  said  Wilsome.  "  Your 
house !  The  little  white  two-story  frame  shop,  where  there 
used  to  be  a  wooden  head — yes,  a  blockhead — is  yours !  " 

"  Be  peaceable  in  the  chamber  of  the  dying ! "  said  the 
priest. 

"  He  shan't  make  such  a  will !  "  continued  Wilsome.  "  It 
is  unjust,  and  he  could  not  have  been  in  his  right  mind !  He 
shall  make  another,  and  I  will  be  a  witness  to  it.  Where's  the 
lawyer  ?  " 

"  Here,  madam !  "  said  Bawson,  sliding  into  the  room, 
having  been  listening  outside  of  the  door. 

"If  you  advise  it,  I  will  do  so,  sister,"  said  the  patient. 

"  You  see  that  the  poor  man  has  no  mind  of  his  own,"  said 
the  priest;  "  and  any  will  he  may  now  sign,  can  be  of  no  vir 
tue." 

"  That  is  true,  father  Xavier,"  said  Griselda,  "  and  your 
words  will  be  repeated  in  court !  " 

"  I  will  sign  this  will,"  said  Napoleon,  drawing  forth  the 
one  he  had  kept  concealed  about  his  person.  u  Give  me  pen 
and  ink,  Bawson." 

"  He  is  non  compos  mentis"  said  the  priest.  "  Daugh 
ter,  let  us  not  be  witnesses  of  such  iniquity  !  Gome  with  me." 

"  Yes,  go,"  said  Napoleon,  "  and  remain  in  the  cabinet 
till  I  send  for  you.  If  the  doctor  comes,  despatch  him  to  me," 
he  added,  as  the  priest  and  Griselda  closed  the  door  behind 
them. 

"  You  have  made  a  good  beginning,  uncle,"  said  Walter. 

"  Oh,  if  sister  Wilsome  will  support  me,  the  enemy  shall 
be  utterly  routed,  and  I  will  recover  my  happiness.  But  be 
fore  we  proceed  any  farther,  let  me  vindicate  myself.  Some 
men  of  military  passions  delight  in  slaughter,  and  they  are 
applauded  by  the  world.  Some  paint  battle  scenes  with  the 
brush,  which  are  admired  by  millions.  Poets  describe  the 
sanguinary  conflict,  and  mock  heroes  enact  feats  of  armg  on 


412  THE   WINKLES. 

the  stage.  None  of  these  are  ridiculed  as  madmen.  Then 
why  should  I  be  censured  or  laughed  at  for  enjoying  the  sport 
in  my  own  inoffensive  way  ?  I  read  of  the  achievements  of 
that  extraordinary  man  who  conquered  Europe,  and  I  amuse 
myself  by  re-enacting  his  exploits  in  imagination,  on  my  own 
fields.  Why  am  I  termed  a  monomaniac  ?  All  men  and 
women  are  monomaniacs,  as  I  can  prove  by  a  book  in  my 
library.  You,  my  sister,  are  crazy  on  the  subject  of  cards " 

"  Cards  !     The  most  rational  amusement  in  the  world  ! " 

"  Miss  Flora  Blount,"  continued  Napoleon,  "  has  a  mono- 
maniacal  passion  for  novels.  Griselda  must  be  an  imperious 
mistress.  Xavier  must  be  canonized,  like  Loyola.  Pollen,,  the 
poet,  must  be  an  erratic  genius,  like  Coleridge.  And  so  with 
thousands,  whose  views  differ  from  the  mass.  But  the  mass — 
the  millions  themselves — who  struggle  desperately  for  the  su 
perfluous  heaps  of  gold  that  glitter  in  their  waking  dreams, 
are  the  most  absurd  maniacs  of  all !  They  could  not  enjoy 
more  than  an  insignificant  portion  of  the  huge  fortunes  they 
strive  to  obtain,  nor  can  they  take  them  hence !  Then  who 
can  be  a  more  ridiculous  and  raving  monomaniac  than  the  man 
who  perils  health,  life,  happiness,  here  and  hereafter,  for  the 
acquisition  of  wealth  which  he  cannot  enjoy  !  I  shall  resume 
my  amusements.  You  have  my  reasons,  which  you  may,  if 
you  see  proper,  repeat  to  others.  Why  do  you  stare  so,  Baw- 
son  ?  I  have  not  been  ill  at  all.  Lucy,  bring  me  the  fried 
oysters  from  the  closet.  But  I  will  rise  and  dress  before  I 
eat  them.  Walter,  give  me  my  breeches " 

"  Brother !  "  said  Wilsome,  springing  up,  il  I  hope  you 
would  not  be  so  indelicate  as  to  rise  and  dress  in  my  pres 
ence." 

"  Go,  then,  with  Lucy  into  the  next  room.  I  shall  cer 
tainly  rise  and  dress." 

As  the  ladies  went  out  the  doctor  came  in. 

"Ah!  Winkle!"  said  he,  "  I  am  a  true  prophet.  The 
change  has  occurred  just  as  I  predicted.  But  not  as  the 
couple  I  met  in  the  library  would  wish.  They  hurried  me 
away,  and  I  must  immediately  report  to  them.  What  shall  I 
say  ?  " 

"  Wait  till  I  fasten  this  button.  You  must  say  it  is 
all  over  with  me.  Stop  !  Stay  a  few  minutes.  Set  out  the 
table,  Walter.  Place  chairs  around  it.  So !  Come  in,  sis 
ter  !  " 


THE   WINKLES    TOGETHER.  413 

"  That  looks  like  preparing  for  a  game,"  said  Wilsome, 
glancing  at  the  table  and  chairs." 

"Exactly!  Choose  your  partner,  "Wilsome — Lucy  or 
Walter.  I'll  take  the  other,  and  beat  you  for  a  bottle.  Have 
you  any  cards  ?  " 

"  Yes — here  in  my  pocket.     I'll  take  Walter." 

"  Very  good.  All  sit  down.  Now,  Bawson,  go  with  the 
doctor  to  the  library.  Tell  them  they  may  come  in  and  see 
the  end.  Say,  doctor,  that  your  duties  are  ended — and  you 
may  send  in  your  bill  to-morrow.  And  tell  them  I  signed  the 
other  will  before  I  departed." 

It  was  not  long  before  the  voices  of  Griselda  and  Xavicr 
could  be  heard,  but  not  in  lamentation. 

"  We  can  establish  the  fact,"  said  the  priest,  "  that  he  was 
not  of  sane  mind  when  they  caused  him  to  sign  the  last  will." 

"  If  they  will  take  my  testimony,"  said  Griselda,  "  I  can 
prove  he  had  no  mind  of  his  own." 

"  But  he  has  recovered  his  senses,"  said  Napoleon,  play- 
ing  the  last  card  in  his  hand,  and  lifting  his  large  eyes  just  as 
Griselda  and  the  priest  came  into  the  room. 

"  My  gracious  !  "  exclaimed  Griselda. 

"  There  has  been  a  gross  deception  practised  on  us,"  said 
the  priest. 

"  No.  You  have  deceived  yourselves,"  said  Napoleon, 
sternly.  "  Why  do  you  stare  so  ?  We  are  merely  a  party  of 
Winkles,  all  in  perfect  health,  and  amusing  ourselves,  as  we 
have  a  perfect  right  to  do.  We  are  not  interlopers  here.  We 
are  on  our  own  premises.  But  who  are  you  ?  I  will  tell  you. 
That  woman,  by  her  false  pretences,  induced  me  to  believe  she 
honestly  sympathized  in  the  pursuit  of  my  innocent  pleasures, 
when  others  either  ridiculed  or  condemned  my  idiosyncrasy. 
I  married  her,  as  a  reward  for  what  I  supposed  to  be  her  gen 
erous  defence  of  me ;  and  bestowed  upon  her  both  my  name 
and  a  comfortable  home.  But  she  had  not  been  the  mistress 
of  my  household  twenty-four  hours,  before  she  exhibited  her 
true  colors.  Without  being  restrained  by  any  considerations 
of  modesty  or  propriety,  and  forgetting  her  former  humble 
condition,  she  seized  the  reins  as  one  having  the  right  to  rule 
despotically.  This  I  endured,  until  I  became  convinced  she 
had  neither  affection  nor  respect  for  me,  her  benefactor ;  and 
that  she  had  been  made  the  instrument  of  an  equivocal  order 
of  religionists,  whose  interference  in  the  domestic  affairs  of 


414  THE   WINKLES. 

unsuspecting  families  has  become  a  proverb  and  an  oppro 
brium  in  all  Christian  lands.  It  was  then  that  I  resolved  to 
disenthrall  myself,  and  to  banish  from  my  hearth  such  an  im 
pudent  and  mischievous  intruder.  Such,  madam,  is  the  sen 
tence  I  pronounced,  and  which  will  be  immediately  put  in 
execution. 

"  Now,  sir,"  he  continued,  turning  to  the  priest,  "  when 
you  crossed  my  threshold,  you  were  well  aware  that  I  had  re 
lations  to  inherit  my  fortune.  I  need  not  ask  you  if  it  can  be 
truly  serving  your  Maker,  to  snatch  the  bread  from  the  widow 
and  the  orphan.  These  young  relations  of  mine,  as  you  well 
know,  and  knew  at  the  time,  are  orphans,  and  destitute  of  for 
tune " 

"  Pooh  !  Brother !  "  said  Wilsome,  "  don't  expose  the 
family.  I  intend  to  leave  them  my  fortune.  Pitch  the  priest 
out  of  the  window,  and  be  done  with  it." 

"  You  say  well,  sister ;  but  still  I  desire  to  utter  my  em 
phatic  condemnation  of  the  practice  of  having  sinners  encour 
aged  by  the  fallacious  promises  of  gowned  hypocrites,  who  be 
stow  their  fortunes  as  an  equivalent  for  repentance,  or  as  the 
purchase-money  of  redemption,  while  their  families  are  left  to 
starve,  and  subjected  to  .all  the  temptations  to  crime  which 
poverty  entails  !  I  thank  my  Maker  that  I  have  risen  supe 
rior  to  such  delusions. 

"  Now,  madam,"  he  continued,  turning  again  to  Griselda, 
"  I  do  not  intend  to  sue  for  a  divorce ;  but  we  shall  never 
meet  again.  If  you  claim  it,  and  the  law  allows  it,  I  will  pro 
vide  for  your  maintenance ;  but  you  shall  dwell  no  more  under 
my  roof.  Pack  up  your  clothes.  I  will  send  your  trunks 
after  you.  You  have  the  option  to  go  on  foot  to  your  shop  in 
the  village,  or  to  ride  in  a  cart.  My  coach  you  shall  never 
enter  again." 

"  As  for  you,  insidious  and  sinful  priest,  I  turn  you  over 
to  the  tender  mercies  of  the  one  you  sought  to  despoil  of  his 
natural  inheritance.  Take  charge  of  him,  Walter." 

Walter  rose  up  quickly,  and  passing  between  the  astonished 
couple,  approached  the  window. 

"  Now  !  Close  your  ears,  aunt !  "  cried  he,  pulling  a  cord 
that  came  in  at  the  window. 

The  next  moment  the  company  were  startled  by  a  volley 
of  musketry.  This  was  succeeded  by  the  rub-a-dub-dub  of  a 


THE    PRISONER.  415 

drum,  and  soon  after  the  measured  tramp  of  a  file  of  Blore's 
men  were  heard  descending  the  stairway. 

The  sergeant  himself  came  in,  and  going  up  to  the  priest, 
slapped  him  smartly  on  the  shoulder,  and  ordered  him  to  face 
about  and  march.  Walter  followed  them  out  of  the  room. 

"  Why  don't  you  pack  up  your  things,  Gusset  ?  "  demanded 
Wilsome.  "  Don't  speak,  but  go  about  it  instantly.  I  will 
not  lose  sight  of  you  until  you  leave  my  brother's  premises, 
for  fear  you  might  set  fire  to  the  house.  Go — or  I  will  lead 
you  by  the  ear,  you  impudent  strumpet !  " 

Griselda  obeyed,  livid  with  rage,  and  speechless  with  as 
tonishment.  And  a  few  minutes  afterwards  she  might  have 
been  seen  alone  and  on  foot  hurrying  along  the  road  towards 
Babbleton. 

Lucy  sought  the  cook,  to  order  dinner  for  her  uncle  ;  while 
the  liberated  commander  promenaded  his  hall  with  the  lofty 
bearing  of  a  monarch. 

Walter  and  the  sergeant  conducted  their  prisoner  through 
the  orchard  towards  the  barracks,  while  the  drum  played  the 
rogue's  march. 

Arrived  at  the  quarters  of  the  men,  a  cord  and  a  staff 
were  produced,  and  the  prisoner  was  made  to  sit  down  on  a 
blanket.  His  hands  were  tied  before  him,  his  knees  were 
pulled  up  between  his  arms,  and  the  staff  thrust  through  in 
such  a  manner  as  to  prevent  him  from  rising. 

"  Frangas  nonflectes !  "*  said  the  prisoner,  with  a  smile. 

"  What's  that  he  says?  "  asked  Blore. 

"  It's  the  devil's  lingo,"  said  one  of  the  men,  who  professed 
to  have  a  smattering  of  all  languages. 

"  Extremis  malis,  extremaremedia"\  said  Walter. 

"  There  !  that's  good  Dutch,"  said  the  wise  linguist;  "and 
it's  the  language  the  devil  speaks  most  fluentially,  and  under 
stands  the  perfectest.  " 

"  But  what  does  it  mean  ?  "  asked  Blore. 

"  Am  I  the  devil  that  I  should  understand  it  ?  Let  him 
use  the  Latin,  Greek,  Spanish.  Italian,  French,  Irish  or  Scotch, 
and  you'll  see  how  quick  I'll  turn  it  into  English  for  you  1  " 

"  It  was  by  such  suffering,  "  said  the  priest,  "  that  Francis 
Xavier  became  a  saint !  " 

*  You  may  bend,  but  cannot  break  me. 

f  To  extreme  evils  we  must  apply  desperate  remedies, 


416  THE   WINDLES. 

"  Your  prototype  and  namesake,"  said  Walter,  "  was  a 
good  man.  The  founders  of  your  order  were  pure  and  holy. 
They  made  voluntary  sacrifices  themselves,  for  the  benefit  of 
the  cause  in  which  they  were  embarked;  and  were  never 
known  to  use  fraud  in  coercing  others  to  contribute  to  their 
coffers.  They  were  honest  men,  and  went  about  the  world 
healing  the  wounds  of  miserable  humanity ;  but  their  degene 
rate  successors  have  reversed  their  principle  of  action.  They 
care  not  for  the  desolation  and  ruin  left  behind  them,  in  their 
ambitious  endeavors  to  obtain  earthly  wealth  and  human 
power." 

"  That  is  merely  the  vulgar  opinion — the  slander  of  the 
Methodists,  Baptists,  Presbyterians,  etc." 

:<  No,  sir.  It  is  true.  You  have  commanded  your  agents 
and  spies,  absolving  them  from  the  guilt  of  perjury,  to  become 
members  of  our  order  of  Americans,  for  the  purpose  of  sow 
ing  discord  amongst  us.  But  you  have  failed.  On  the  con 
trary,  without  incurring  the  same  guilt,  we  have  obtained  a 
knowledge  of  your  designs.  We  have  availed  ourselves  of 
your  example,  so  far  as  secrecy  was  concerned,  to  counteract 
your  iniquitous  operations.  We  shall  confront  you  at  every 
turn.  Throughout  this  broad  land,  wherever  there  may  be  a 
sneaking  political  Jesuit,  there  will  be  found  a  score  of  patriotic 
Americans  to  oppose  him.  Perform  your  duty,  men  !  " 

As  Walter  said  this,  four  of  the  strongest  men  seized  the 
blanket  at  its  corners,  and  commenced  tossing  up  the  prisoner. 
Sometimes  he  fell  on  his  back,  sometimes  on  his  face  ;  on  his 
feet,  and  on  his  head,  alternately ;  but  he  received  no  bodily 
injury.  When  he  had  been  exercised  thus  for  some  minutes 
to  the  infinite  diversion  of  the  company,  he  was  put  down  and 
unbound.  But  during  this  operation,  a  number  of  printed 
bonds,  Philadelphia  6's,  fell  from  his  bosom. 

"  Why,  you  impudent  thief !  "  said  Walter,  looking  at  the 
papers,  "  these  bonds  belong  to  my  uncle.  They  are  payable 
to  him,  and  he  has  not  indorsed  them.  You  must  have  stolen 
them." 

"-No,  my  son.  They  were  given  me  by  your  pious  Aunt 
Griselda,  in  accordance  with  the  provision  of  the  will." 

"  I  will  take  the  liberty  of  returning  them  to  my  uncle. 
Now,  sir,  you  shall  be  released.  I  will  not  require  any  promi 
ses  or  oaths  from  you,  since  it  would  appear  that  your  religion 
has  run  into  such  excesses  as  to  tolerate  and  justify  every 


FATHER   XAVIER.  417 

thing  which  the  Bible  teaches  is  dishonorable  and  sinful.  But 
you  may  rely  upon  this  :  that  in  every  council  of  the  Know 
Nothings  your  iniquity  shall  be  made  known  ;  and  that  when 
ever  you  attempt  to  execute  any  of  your  impious  designs,  you 
will  be  again  tossed  in  a  blanket.  In  our  order  you  have  at 
last  found  a  match  for  your  own  execrable  machinery.  You 
will  not  alone  henceforth  wield  the  terrors  of  an  awful  mystery. 
Beware,  in  time  !  Do  not  exasperate  the  millions  in  this  land 
of  liberty,  or  you  will  be  annihilated  at  one  blow.  You  never 
can  be  sufficiently  numerous  and  powerful  to  prevail  against  us." 

"  Fide  et  fortitudine"*  said  the  priest. 

"  Fide,  non  armis"}  replied  Walter. 

"  What's  that  ?  "  asked  Blore. 

"  It's  all  as  plain  as  the  face  of  the  bull  yonder,  staring  at 
us  across  the  water,  "  said  the  learned  soldier.  "  The  priest 
says  fight  with  fortitude — and  Walter  says  fight  not  our 
armies,  and  he  gives  him  good  advice.  It  is  the  language  of 
the  great  Florentine." 

Both  the  priest  and  Walter  smiled  at  the  erudition  of  the 
man,  whose  interpretation  was  not  without  signification. 

Father  Xavier  did  not  tarry  when  permitted  to  depart,  and 
as  he  strode  towards  the  high  road  leading  to  the  village,  the 
drummer  again  played  the  rogue's  march. 

When  it  was  ascertained  that  the  last  of  the  invaders  had 
retired  from  the  premises,  all  the  forces  of  the  garrison  were 
assembled  by  Blore  in  front  of  the  mansion,  where  they  uttered 
cheer  after  cheer  most  vociferously.  Napoleon  appeared  on 
the  balcony,  and  manifested  by  his  looks  of  pleasure  the  hap 
piness  he  felt.  And  he  gave  an  order  for  the  event  of  his  en 
franchisement  to  be  celebrated  in  an  appropriate  manner.  In 
effect,  soon  afterward,  the  whole  country,  for  miles  round,  was 
startled  by  the  repeated  discharges  of  artillery.  At  first  it 
was  supposed  an  heir  had  been  born ;  but  when  it  was  under 
stood  that  the  doctor's  visits  had  been  made  to  the  commander 
himself,  it  was  taken  for  granted  that  the  patient  was  gone. 
Blore,  however,  did  not  permit  the  inhabitants  of  Babbleton 
to  jemain  long  in  ignorance.  He  dispatched  a  courier  to  the 
village  with  the  news  of  the  expulsion  of  the  "  Tartarian,"  as 
he  called  her ;  and  long  before  Gusset  reached  her  shop,  for 
her  walking  was  impeded  by  several  monstrous  corns  on  her 

*  By  faith  and  fortitude.  f  By  faith,  not  arms. 

18* 


418  THE   WINKLES. 

feet,  the  urchins  of  the  village  were  collected  in  full  force  in 
the  middle  of  the  street  in  readiness  to  hoot  at  her.  Pale, 
and  completely  subdued,  the  disgraced  wife  rushed  into  her 
own  humble  domicil.  Her  tenant,  and  successor  in  business, 
gazed  in  astonishment.  But  the  tale  was  soon  told.  It  was 
quickly  babbled  throughout  the  village.  And,  singular  as  it 
may  appear,  Grusset  had  not  one  to  sympathize  with  her.  The 
poor,  of  her  own  condition,  had  been  abandoned  and  frowned 
upon  by  her  ;  and  the  rich,  such  as  the  Arums  and  the  Crudles, 
could  have  no  respect  for  any  but  the  rich,  or  those  in  more 
elevated  positions  than  themselves.  They  sought  to  level  up 
wards,  not  downwards.  And  hence  poor  Gusset  could  look 
for  nothing  but  jeers  and  contumely  from  her  own  sex. 

Miss  Wilsome  having  imparted  to  her  brother  the  infor 
mation  that  both  Lucy  and  Walter  were  to  be  married  in  the 
spring,  and  that  the  countess  and  the  earl  would  not  sail  for 
England  before  midsummer,  he  immediately  proposed  that  his 
niece,  and  Lowe,  and  the  countess,  should  occupy  his  spacious 
mansion,  as  the  guests  of  Walter,  which  was  agreed  to — Lucy 
remaining  silent,  but  looking  very  grateful. 

In  the  afternoon  the  splendid  coach  was  ordered  out,  and 
Walter  and  Wilsorne  were  driven  in  great  state  through  the 
streets  of  Babbleton  to  Mrs.  Winkle's  mansion.  Lucy  re 
mained  with  her  uncle,  as  his  housekeeper.  But  Walter  re 
joined  her  in  the  evening,  and  superintended  a  grand  illumina 
tion  of  the  mansion,  which  was  admired  by  thousands. 


CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

SNOBSON'S  MAEEIAGE— EOLAND'S  FAILUEE. 

WHAT  a  buzz  there  was  in  Babbleton !  The  sudden  dis 
charges  of  cannon  at  the  garrison  after  so  long  a  silence,  had 
at  first  put  the  country  on  the  qui  vive  ;  and  afterwards  when 
it  was  known  that  the  beldame  parvenu  had  fallen  from  her 
high  estate — she  who  had  once  submitted  to  the  humiliation 
of  repairing  old  bonnets  for  housemaids  and  cooks  to  wear 
o'  Sundays,  and  had  afterwards  been  made  the  mistress  of  one 
of  the  finest  establishments  in  the  country — there  could  be  no 


THE    DOUBLE    NUPTIALS.  419 

further  restraint  imposed  upon  the  gossiping  inclinations  of  the 
inhabitants.  Woe  to  the  wife  who  is  put  away  by  her  husband  ! 
she  falls  like  Lucifer,  never  to  rise  again  ! 

The  Winkles  were  once  more  in  the  ascendant.  They  were 
again  a  united  family,  rich  and  powerful.  The  papers  had  an 
nounced  the  approaching  nuptials  of  Lucy  with  the  Earl  of 
Hilton,  and  now  a  paragraph  was  going  the  rounds  to  the  effect 
that  Walter  had  been  released  from  jail  by  the  fair  daughter 
of  a  distinguished  senator,  who  was  soon  to  become  his  wife, 
and  bind  him  for  ever  with  hymenial  fetters. 

During  the  few  months  immediately  succeeding  the  recov 
ery  of  Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle,  Miss  Wilsome,  Lucy,  and  Vir 
ginia,  spent  the  greater  portion  of  their  time  at  his  stately  old 
mansion,  which  they  had  renovated  and  adorned  in  the  most 
approved  style  preparatory  for  the  festivities  of  which  it  was 
soon  to  be  the  scene.  It  is  not  to  be  supposed  that  Lowe  and 
Walter  did  not  sometimes  mingle  in  their  consultations. 
Even  the  widow  Winkle  herself,  who  had  not  been  farther  from 
home  than  the  church  for  many  years,  might  have  been  seen 
occasionally  occupying  a  seat  in  the  old  family  coach,  as  it  daily 
rolled  backwards  and  forwards  between  the  chateau  and  the 
village.  The  countess  too,  accompanied  by  Mrs.  Laurel,  made 
several  incognito  visits  to  the  village  and  the  palace  without 
being  detected  by  the  reporters. 

Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle,  in  consideration  of  the  fact  that  the 
countess  still  lamented  the  loss  of  her  lord  on  the  field  of  Wa 
terloo,  suspended  his  operations  in  the  field,  and  contented 
himself  with  the  game  of  chess.  •  In  this  manner,  knights  were 
overthrown,  castles  taken,  and  kings  check-mated,  —  the 
countess  herself  being  a  match  for  him,  and  fond  of  the  game. 

The  time  fixed  upon  for  the  celebration  of  the  double  nup 
tials  was  the  week  succeeding  the  adjournment  of  Congress. 
That  was  the  period  dictated  by  Colonel  Oakland  for  the  ex 
change  of  ratifications. 

But  the  Winkles  were  not  to  be  permitted  to  monopolize 
the  hymenial  altar  in  Babbleton.  Negotiations  were  reopened 
by  Blanche  Arum  with  Mr.  Thx>mas  Snobson,  and  a  treaty  of 
alliance  unconditionally  aggreed  upon,  and  sanctioned  by  their 
parents.  The  young  ones  being  resolved  to  marry,  their  pa 
rents,  under  the  supposition  that  their  maintenance  would  cost 
them  but  little  if  any  more  united,  than  when  separated, 
yielded  to  their  determination. 


420  THE   WINKLES. 

When  it  was  understood  there  was  certainly  to  be  a  wed 
ding  in  the  Arum  family, — and  such  things  are  not  easily  con 
cealed, — the  Crudles  were  immediately  roused  to  action.  Mrs. 
Crudle  undertook  to  dispose  of  her  eldest  daughter  to  Mr.  Ro 
land  ;  and  within  forty-eight  hours  of  the  conception  of  the 
resolution,  she  had  so  far  succeeded,  that  it  only  remained  for 
Susan  to  name  the  day.  She  consulted  Blanche  Arum,  and  it 
was  agreed  that  their  nuptials  should  precede  those  of  the 
Winkles,  and  be  celebrated  the  week  before  the  adjournment 
of  Congress. 

When  the  day  arrived,  as  every  appointed  day  must  arrive, 
however  distant,  Roland  and  Snobson  led  their  elected  brides 
to  the  altar  in  full  church.  Lowe  and  Lucy,  Walter  and  Vir 
ginia,  and  Parke — who  still  lingered  in  the  north,  while  his 
mother  was  looking  for  him  in  the  south — and  Julia  Nitre  were 
among  the  congregation  of  witnesses.  It  has  never  been  as 
serted  in  general  conversation  that  Walter  was  more  than  a 
mere  spectator  :  but  ive  suppose  it  to  be  quite  probable  he  wag 
on  instigator,  if  not  an  actor,  of  one  of  the  most  unexpected 
And  novel  scenes  that  ever  occurred  in  the  church  at  Babbleton. 
Even  Lowe  and  Parke  "were,  very  probably,  privy  to  the  plot. 
The  young  ladies,  however — Lucy,  Virginia,  Julia — must  be 
acquitted  of  any  complicity.  They  were  merely  innocent  spec 
tators  of  the  ceremony — innocent  and  interested — for  each  and 
all  of  them  thought  of  the  approaching  day,  then  near  at  hand, 
when  they  too  would  be  called  upon  to  stand  at  the  same  altar 
and  make  the  same  responses. 

But  why  had  Bawson  been  so  often  in  consultation  with 
Walter  ?  It  was  natural  to  suppose  their  business  had  refer 
ence  to  a  marriage  settlement,  and  no  one  thought  it  at  all  re 
markable.  And  it  was  to  settle  a  marriage  with  a  vengeance  ! 

The  ceremony  proceeded,  Mr.  Amble  officiating,  with  long 
candles  burning  behind  the  altar,  although  there  was  an  abun 
dance  of  glorious  sunshine  pouring  in  at  the  doors  and  windows. 
The  question  of  precedence,  after  a  protracted  discussion  of 
three  days,  had  been  settled,  and  Blanche  was  to  be  wedded 
first. 

At  the  appointed  signal  from  the  priest,  Snobson  and  his 
elect  approached  the  chancel  with  quivering  lips  and  trembling 
knees.  But,  as  Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle  remarked,  they  faced 
the  fire  very  well,  considering  the  desperate  affair  they  were 
engaged  in.  They  were  united  "  for  better,  for  worse,  for 


EXCITING   MOMENT.  421 

richer,  for  poorer,"  and  then  drew  back  and  yielded  the  place 
of  execution,  as  Napoleon  called  it,  to  the  other  victims. 

Roland  led  Susuan  forward  with  consummate  impudence. 
Napoleon  said  he  was  fool-hardy.  The  minister  proceeded. 
A  stillness  prevailed  when  he  came  to  the  words — "  If  any 
man  can  show  just  cause,  why  they  may  not  lawfully  be  joined 
together,  let  him  now  speak,  or  else  hereafter  hold  his  peace." 

"  If  it  please  your  honor,"  said  Bawson,  rising  in  his  pew, 
and  addressing  the  minister  as  he  would  a  judge,  "  I  have 
something  to  say  why  they  may  not  lawfully  be  joined  together." 

A  thrill  of  horror  shot  through  nearly  every  breast.  For 
many  moments  all  eyes  were  fixed  upon  the  lawyer,  and  a  pro 
found  silence  ensued,  which  intimidated  Bawson  himself. 

"  What  have  you  to  say,  sir  ?  "  at  last  demanded  Roland, 
the  minister  seeming  to  be  incapable  of  uttering  any  thing 
further. 

"  That  I  am  prepared  to  show  just  cause  why  you  may  not 
be  lawfully  joined  together,"  said  Bawson,  still  standing. 

"  What  can  you  show?  "  demanded  Roland. 

"  That  you  are  already  married  to  Elizabeth  Dizzle." 

"  Bets  Dizzle  !  "  repeated  many  voices. 

"  How  can  you  show  that  ?  " 

"  By  this  deposition,"  said  Bawson,  drawing  forth  the  doc 
ument,  which  he  was  about  to  commence  reading,  when  Mr. 
Crudle  rushed  forward  and  caught  his  fainting  daughter  in  his 
arms,  and  bore  her  away  from  the  church. 

Roland  mounted  his  horse  and  galloped  off  towards  the  hut 
occupied  by  the  Dizzies,  but  it  had  been  abandoned,  and  Eliza 
beth  was  then  in  the  village,  sojourning  with  the  lawyer's 
family. 

From  tongue  to  tongue  the  exciting  news  expanded  over 
the  village  with  surprising  rapidity.  Nor  was  the  astonishing 
announcement  of  Roland's  marriage  with  Betsy  Dizzzle,  the 
only  incident  which  elated  the  good  citizens  of  Babbleton  that 
day.  For  the  father  of  Tom  Snobson,  when  waiting  at  the 
depot  for  the  train  which  was  to  convey  him  back  to  the  city, 
received  a  telegraphic  dispatch  which  caused  him  to  fall  down 
in  a  fit.  His  son's  father-in-law  read  the  communication,  while 
the  rest  were  sprinkling  the  broker's  face  with  ice  water.  It 
was  the  announcement  of  the  failure  of  one  of  the  largest  pri 
vate  banking  houses  in  the  country,  with  which  Snobson  was 
intimately  connected  and  deeply  involved.  Nor  was  that  all. 


422  THE   WINKLES. 

Crudle  himself  had  been  induced  to  join  them  in  the  gigantic 
railroad  speculation  which  caused  the  disaster.  And  now,  upon 
the  wedding  day,  they  were  both  ruined ! 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

END  OF  THE  HISTORY. 

THE  bishop  came  from  Summerton  to  perform  the  ceremony. 
Three  weddings  at  a  time  !  For  after  Edmund  and  Lucy,  and 
Walter  and  Virginia  were  irrevocably  linked  together,  Mr. 
William  Dizzle  and  Miss  Patty  O'Pan  were  also  joined  in 
wedlock. 

It  would  be  impossible  to  describe  with  the  pen  the  felicities 
of  that  day.  The  company  present  came  from  as  many  as 
three  cities;  and  satins  and  jewels,  and  happy  faces  surrounded 
the  altar.  Even  Mrs.  Edwards  was  there,  in  the  gallery,  while 
Sergeant  Blore  looked  in  from  an  open  window,  having  had  a 
platform  erected  for  the  purpose  on  the  outside.  And  while 
his  single  eye  beame  like  a  star  on  the  faces  of  Walter  and 
Lucy,  Mrs.  Edwards'  optics  were  fixed  upon  him.  When  the 
ceremony  was  over,  and  the  party  were  partaking  of  the  re 
freshments  prepared  at  the  Widow  Winkle's  mansion,  the  ser 
geant  emerged  from  behind  the  church  in  fancied  security. 
But  he  was  confronted  at  the  gate  by  a  man  over  six  feet  in 
height. 

"  My  mother  wishes  to  see  you,  sir,"  said  the  stranger. 
"  She  says  she  has  something  to  say  which  you  will  be  delighted 
to  hear." 

"  Who  are  you  ? — and  who  is  your  mother  ?  "  demanded  the 
9ld  warrior. 

"  Mrs.  Edwards  is  my  mother,  sir ;  and  I  am  in  the  service 
of  the  Countess  of  Hilton." 

"  Mrs.  Edwards  !  And  she  was  my  wife !  Sir — who  was 
your  father  ?  What  is  your  name  ?  " 

"Dick  Edwards,  sir." 

"  Dick  Edwards !  Well,  Mr.  Edwards,  what  do  you  want 
with  me  ?  My  name  is  Thomas  Blore — and  I  hope  you  have 
not  come  to  claim  me  as  your  father !  I  won't  acknowledge  you, 


THREE   WEDDINGS.  423 

air !  I  deny  it,  sir !  I'll knock  you  down,  sir !  "  continued 

the  sergeant,  lifting  his  stick. 

But  Dick  being  called  away,  to  attend  his  mistress,  the  fu 
rious  sergeant  was  left  alone  in  his  fury. 

The  merry  cavalcade  following  the  coaches,  proceeded  out 
on  the  road  leading  to  Mr.  Napoleon  Winkle's  mansion,  where 
preparations  had  been  made  for  a  grand  festival. 

Blore  followed  on  foot,  growling  and  gesticulating  angrily, 
for  the  appearance  of  Mr.  Dick  Edwards  had  thrown  him  into  a 
most  violent  passion,  at  the  moment  when  he  supposed  he  was 
about  to  have  a  day  of  perfect  happiness.  When  he  arrived 
at  the  garrison,  however,  he  was  met  by  Walter,  who  appeased 
him  by  the  comfortable  assurance  that  Mrs.  Edwards  was  to 
sail  for  England  the  next  week.  At  the  mansion,  Mrs.  Laurel, 
Mrs.  Winkle,  Miss  Wilsome  and  Miss  Flora  surveyed  with 
pleasure  the  vast  arrangements  consummated  by  Napoleon  for 
the  entertainment  of  the  guests. 

The  sumptuous  feast  and  the  merry  dance  filled  the  first 
day ;  and  the  next  morning  the  brides  crowned  the  good  old 
John  Dowly  with  wreaths  of  flowers.  And  after  that  cere 
mony  was  over,  Miss  Wilsome  proposed  that  a  row  of  tables 
should  be  placed  in  the  long  saloon,  and  that  the  company  be 
divided  into  whist  parties !  Her  brother  Napoleon  offered  an 
entertainment  on  the  lawn,  where  the  whole  park  of  artillery 
had  been  drawn  up  and  charged  to  the  muzzles.  But  Colonel 
Oakdale  objected.  He  said  the  stunning  noise  would  be  too 
shocking  for  the  ladies,  and  that  the  smoke  would  spoil  their 
dresses.  But  he  suggested  that  Edmund  and  Walter  should 
accompany  him  into  the  meadows  with  their  guns,  where  there 
would  be  excellent  sport  among  the  woodcock.  Miss  Flora 
Blount  said  such  a  selfish  proposition  was  most  abominable, 
and  that  the  brides  would  never  consent  to  it.  Lucy  and 
Virginia  confirmed  her  opinion ;  but  neither  could  they  sanc 
tion  the  scheme  she  proposed,  which  was  merely  a  recapitula 
tion  of  all  the  romantic  incidents  connected  with  their  several 
courtships. 

While  they  were  discussing  the  means  of  adding  to  their 
bliss,  which  would  have  been  a  vain  endeavor,  a  carriage  drove 
up  to  the  portico,  from  which  descended  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Parke. 
Then  it  was  understood  why  Julia  Nitre  had  disappointed  her 
cousin  Virginia. 

"  I  promised  to  be  present  at  the  wedding,"  said  Julia. 

"  And  you  meant  your  own,"  said  Virginia. 


424  THE   WINKLES. 

It  was  confessed  that  they  had  been  "  engaged  "  for  several 
months,  and  had  deliberately  planned  the  surprise. 

Several  months  after  these  happy  events,  our  principal 
characters,  as  well  as  thousands  besides,  were  shocked  to  read 
the  announcement  of  the  death  of  the  poet,  Harold  Pollen. 
Of  all  the  vicissitudes  which  had  attended  his  erratic  career, 
the  final  one  was  the  most  deplorable.  He  died  after  a  brief 
illness,  and  before  his  friends  could  learn  the  particulars  of  his 
condition,  in  the  Almshouse  ! 

Gusset  never  sought  to  annoy  her  husband  again,  but  lived 
in  humble  obscurity  under  the  advice  of  Father  Xavier,  who 
did  not  desire  a  renewal  of  hostilities  with  the  Winkles. 

Blore  fought  his  battles  over  again  for  many  a  day,  under 
the  direction  of  his  old  commander,  and  without  molestation 
from  the  young  mistress  of  the  mansion,  the  lovely  Virginia. 

The  widow  Winkle  could  not  be  induced  to  abandon  her 
abode  in  the  village ;  but  every  year  she  spent  a  portion  of  her 
time  with  Walter  at  the  chateau,  in  company  with  Wilsome  and 
Flora,  and  where  John  Dowly  was  ever  an  honored  guest. 

Lucy,  the  new  countess,  and  her  sensible  lord,  came  over 
regularly  once  a  year  in  an  American  steamer.  And  Lowe 
never  ceased  to  enjoy  the  angling  and  shooting  in  his  old  haunts. 

Walter  had  the  triumph  of  defeating  Plastic  in  an  exciting 
political  campaign ;  while  the  colonel  retained  his  place  in  the 
Senate. 

Roland  was  cast  in  a  suit  prosecuted  by  Bawson,  and  ad 
judged  to  pay  Elizabeth,  his  wife,  two  thousand  dollars  per 
annum  for  her  maintenance. 

Bill  Dizzle  and  Patty  occupied  a  comfortable  farm-house 
on  Walter's  estate — the  one  catching,  the  other  cooking  the 
frogs  and  "  turtles." 

Honoria  disappeared  after  the  publication  of  Walter's  nup 
tials.  It  was  surmised  that  she  had  entered  a  convent.  But 
Mr.  Fimble  continued  to  obtain  lucrative  contracts  from  the 
government,  until  the  inauguration  of  the  next  President,  who 
was  an  American. 


THE    END. 


A   LIST 

ISTEW    WORKS 

IN     G  E  N  E  R  A  L,     I,  I  T  E  R.  A  T  IT  B  E  , 

PUBLISHED  BY 

D.  AFFLETON    &   COMPANY, 

846  &  848  Broadway. 
V  Complete  Catalogues,  containing  full  description,  to  le  had  on  appUoaiM*  *> 


the  Publishers. 


Agriculture  and  Kural  Affairs. 

Boussingault's  Rural  Economy,  .  .  .  1  25 
The  Poultry  Book,  illustrated.  .  .  .  5  00 
Waring's  Element*  of  Agriculture,  .  .  75 

Arts,  Manufactures,  and  Architec 
ture. 

Appleton's  Dictionary  of  Mechanics.  2  vols.  .  12  00 
"  Mechanics'  Magazine.  3  vols.  each,  3  50 

Allen's  Philosophy  of  Mechanics,     . 

Amot's  Gothic  Architecture,    . 

Basanett's  Theory  of  Storms,    . 

Bourne  on  the  Steam  Engine,  . 

Byrne  on  Logarithms, 

Chapman  on  the  American  Rifle,      . 

Coming's  Preservation  of  Health,    . 

Cullum  on  Military  Bridges,     . 

Downing'*  Country  Houses,     . 

Field's  City  Architecture, 

Griffith's  Marine  Architecture, 

Gillespie's  Treatise  on  Surveying,   . 

Haupt's  Theory  of  Bridge  Construction,  .         .     3  00 

Henck's  Field-Book  for  R.  Road  Engineers,     .        75 

Hoblyn's  Dictionary  of  Scientific  Terms,          .        50 

Huff's  Manual  of  Electro-Physiology,       .        .        25 

Jeffers'  Practice  of  Naval  Gunnery,          .        .        50 

Knapen's  Mechanics'  Assistant, 

Lafever's  Modern  Architecture, 

Lyell's  Manual  of  Geology 1  75 

"  Principles  of  Geology 2  25 

Reynold's  Treatise  on  Handrailing,          .        .    2  00 

Templelon's  Mechanic's  Companion,        .        .     1  00 

Ure'sDict'ry  of  Arts,  Manufactures,  &c.  2  vols.  5  00 

Youmans'  Class-Book  of  Chemistry.  .  .  75 
"  Atlas  of  Chemistry,  cloth,  .  .  2  00 
«  Alcohol, 50 

Biography. 

Arnold's  Life  and  Correspondence,   .        .        ,  2  00 

Capt.  Canot,  or  Twenty  Years  of  a  Slaver,      .  1  25 

Cousin's  De  Longueville, 1 

Croswell's  Memoirs, 2  00 

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Story  of  a  Genius. 38 

Strive  and  Thrive.   By  do 38 

The  Two  Apprentices.   By  do.         ...  38 

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Ocean  Work,  Ancient  and  Modern.  By  J.  H. 

Wright, 38 

Picture  Pleasure  Book,  1st  Series,   .  .    1  25 

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Susan  Pindar's  Story  Book,       ....  75 

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Travels  of  Bob  the  Squirrel,    ....  87 

Wonderful  Story  Book, 60 

Willy's  First  Present, 75 

Week's  Delight :  or,  Games  and  Stories  for  the 

Parlor, 75 

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D.  Appleton  &  Company's  List  of  New  Works. 


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An  Attic  Philosopher  in  Paris,         ...  25 

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Agnell's  Book  of  Chess, 1  25 

Arnold's  Miscellaneous  Works,       .        .        .  2  00 

Arthur.   The  Successful  Merchant,          .        .  75 

A  Book  for  Summer  Time  in  the  Country,       .  60 

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Calhoun  (J.  C.),  Works  of.  4  vols.  publ.,  each,  2  00 
Clark's  (W.  G.)  Knick-Knacks,                .         .125 

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each, .50 

Ewbnnko'  World  in  a  Workshop,     ...  75 

Ellis'  Women  of  England 50 

"     Hearts  and  Homes, 1  50 

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Foster's  Essays  on  Christian  Morals,        .        .  50 

Goldsmith's  Vicar  of  Wakefield,      ...  75 

Grant's  Memoirs  of  an  American  Lady,   .        .  75 

Gaieties  and  Gravities.    By  Horace  Smith,     .  50 
Guizot's  History  of  Civilization,       .        .        ,100 

Hearth-Stone.   By  Rev.  S.  Osgood, .        .        .  1  00 

Hobson.    My  Uncle  and  1 75 

Ingoldsby  Legends, 60 

Isham's  Mud  Cabin 1  00 

Johnson's  Meaning  of  Words,  .        .        .        .  1  00 

Kavanagh's  Women  of  Christianity,       .        .  75 

Leger's  Animal  Magnetism,      .        .        .        .  1  00 

Life's  Discipline.    A  Tale  of  Hungary,    .        .  63 

Letters  from  Rome.  A.  D.  138,          .        .        .  1  90 

Margaret  Maitland, 75 

Maiden  and  Married  Life  of  Mary  Powell.      .  50 
Morton   Montague ;    or   a  Young  Christian's 

Choice, 75 

Macaulay's  Miscellanies.  5  vols.       .        .        .  5  00 

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Poetic  Lacon ;  or,  Aphorisms  from  the  Poets,  38 

Bond's  Golden  Maxims 31 

Clarke's  Scripture  Promises.    Complete,         .  38 

Elizabeth;  or.  The  Exiles  of  Siberia,       .        .  31 

Goldsmith'i  Vicar  of  Wakefield,     ...  38 

«           Essays, 38 

Gems  from  American  Poets,    ....  38 

Hannah  More's  Private  Devotions,         .        .  31 

"            "        Practical  Piety.    2  vols.        .  75 

Hemnns'  Domestic  Affections,  81 

Hoffman's  Lays  of  the  Hudson,  &c.        .        .  88 

Johnson's  History  of  Rasselas,          ...  38 

Manual  of  Matrimony 31 

Moore's  Lalla  Rookh, 38 

"        Melodies.    Complete,          ...  38 

Paul  and  Virginia,   ...        .        .        .  31 

Pollok's  Course  of  Time,          ....  38 

Pure  Gold  from  the  Rivers  of  Wisdom,         .  38 

Thomson's  Seasons, 38 

Token  of  the  Heart.     Do.  of  Affection.    Do. 
of  Remembrance.      Do.    of  Friendship. 

Do.  of  Love.  Each, 31 

Useful  Letter- Writer, 38 

Wilson's  Sacra  Private, 81 

Young's  Night  Thoughts,          ....  38 

Little  Pedlineton  and  the  Pedlingtonians,       .  60 

Priimatics.     Tales  and  Poems,         .         .        .  1  25 

P»peni  from  the  Quarterly  Review,          .        .  60 

Republic  of  the  United  States.  Its  Duties,  Ac.  1  00 


Preservation  of  Health  and  Prevention  of  Dii- 

School  for  Politics.  By  Chas.  Gayerre,  . 
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The  most  Authentic  and  Entertaining  Life  of  Napoleon. 


Memoirs  of  Napoleon, 

HIS  COUKT  AND  FAMILY. 

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NAPOLEON.  LUCIEN  BONAPARTE, 

JOSEPHINE.  MARSHAL  JUNOT, 

MARIA  LOUISA,  CHARLES  BONAPARTE, 

DUKE  OF  REICHSTADT,  PAULINE  BONAPARTE, 

MADAME  LAETITIA  BONAPARTE,  ELIZA  BONAPARTE, 
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Probably  no  writer  has  had  the  same  op 
portunities  for  becoming  acquainted  with 

NAPOLEON  THE  GREAT 
as  the  Duchess  D'Abrantes.  Her  mother 
rocked  him  in  his  cradle,  and  when  he 
quitted  Brienne  and  came  to  Paris,  she  guid 
ed  and  protected  his  younger  days.  Scarcely 
a  day  passed  without  his  visiting  her  house 
during  the  period  which  preceded  his  depar 
ture  for  Italy  as 

COMMANDEE-IN-CHIEF. 
Abundant  occasion  was   therefore    had  for 
watching  the  development  of  the  great  genius 
who  afterwards  became  tho  master  of  the 
greater  part  of  Europe. 

MARSHAL  JUNOT, 

who  became  allied  to  the  author  of  this  work 
by  marriage,  was  the  intimate  friend  of  Na 
poleon,  and  figured  in  most  of  the 

BRILLIANT  ENGAGEMENTS 
which  rendered  him  the  greatest  military 
captain  of  the  age.  No  interruption  took 
place  in  the  intimacy  which  she  enjoyed,  so 
that  in  all  these  scene^,  embracing  a  period 
of  nearly 

THIRTY  TEARS, 

the  Duchess  became  familiar  with  all  the 
secret  springs  of 

NAPOLEON'S  ACTIONS, 


own 

the 


either  through  her  husband  or  by  her 
personal  knowledge  and  observation  at 
Court  of  Napoleon. 

JOSEPHINE, 

whose  life  and  character  so  peculiarly  attract 
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part  of  the  first  volume.  The  character  and 
the  deeds  of 

THE  EMPERORS  AND  KINGS, 

THE  GREAT  MEN  OF  THE  DAY, 

THE  MARSHALS  OF  THE  EMPIRE, 

THE  DISTINGUISHED  LADIES  OF 

THE  COURT, 

are  described  with  minuteness,  which  per 
sonal  observation  only  admits  of.  The  work 
is  written  in  that 

FAMILIAR  GOSSIPING  STYLE, 
and  so  interspersed  with  anecdotes  that  the 
reader  never  wearies.    She  has  put  every 
thing  in  her  book — great  events  and  small. 

BATTLES  AND  BALLS, 
COURT  INTRIGUES  AND  BOUDOIR 

GOSSIP, 
TREATIES  AND  FLIRTATIONS, 

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From  Ex-President  FILLMORE. 

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From  Honorable  J.  P.  KENNEDY. 

I  was  greatly  delighted  with  the  fine,  discriminating,  acute  insight  with  which  the  cha 
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opposite  departments  of  literature. 

From  Hon.  E.  M.  T.  HUNTEB,  U.  3.  Senator  from  Virginia. 

I  have  read  "  Party  Leaders"  with  great  pleasure.    It  is  written  with  ability,  and  witto 
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From  Hon.  JAMES  M.  MASON,  U.  S.  Senator  fvom  Virginia. 

I  have  heard  "Party  Leaders  "highly  commended  by  those  competent  to  judge,  but 
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As  a  literary  work,  I  shall  be  much  disappointed  if  it  does  not  place  its  author  at  oiico 
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next  to,  if  not  by  the  side  of,  the  kindred  works  of  Mclntosh  and  Macaulay. 
From  a  Distinguished  Statesman. 

It  is  a  noble  production,  full  of  profound  thought,  discriminating  judgment,  just  criti 
dsm,  and  elevated  sentiments,  all  expressed  in  the  most  captivating  and  eloquent  style.  It 
IB  a  book  just  according  to  my  fancy,  and,  I  think,  one  of  the  most  captivating  in  oui 
language. 


